Giggling about spanx, stripping, and figure skating

0:15What's up my grumpy gigglers. this is what i'm saying i we need to normalize being grumpy okay it's okay to be grumpy let women grump oh i thought you were gonna talk about like if you're watching this podcast we're in two different places we're virtual which i love when we're virtual because i always do a hair mask when we're virtual or you had your hair fully up on a towel last time you didn't even mask it i didn't even try you were in the shower during the last pod i was showering

0:51no i just want to say that this is the most unserious podcast to ever exist hannah we've been on multiple lists we've won awards this is the most unserious hour of my entire week and people are like this is her best accolade i'm like this is a joke wait i literally just had a lady yell out of a car going giggly girl i don't even have a real name anymore i don't even have a real name wait can i also just let everyone know i just got my period i just finished mine not to make it about me i'm so sorry i'm trying to work on that we're both i just got my period i also just got off a four-hour flight i also just had three shows this weekend i also think i um i have really bad i think i have a sinus infection but besides that i feel really good i wouldn't wish a sinus infection on my worst enemy it's my go-to like when my body wants to shut down that's my you know like you have utis i have sinus my utis up my nose see i've only ever had one sinus infection and i'm not kidding i thought i was dying yeah yeah it's that's like some of the worst pain ever it becomes mental too you're like it's it's dark but um yeah wait i miss you no i miss you so much i promise to the gigglers that like we're gonna settle down and get like a studio space that's like giggly squad centric and we're gonna record in it every week but i think it's funny to have some that i'm in la looking like joe rogan and you're just at a spa at a retreat i'm in jail wearing daphne i have headphones on like i'm in the zone right now for what you're in the zone for what i don't know making silly silly jokes i went i had like one of the most relaxing weekends we had a very different weekend we had very different weekends and i had a relaxing weekend in such a page way what did you do and by that i mean i hit my 10 000 steps i drank tea on friday night i went shopping at an outlet on saturday i love a sale i love a bargain like i literally touched so much grass i was gonna say bring back shopping in person like it's it's one of my favorite things to do to see something touch it try it on the dressing room realize it looks stupid on you like that's a memory we all miss and like go shopping and then say do you want to get lunch is like sorry that's my version of like don't talk dirty to me like that is so i'm like oh my that's my that that's my favorite day ever is to go to a couple stores and then stop and have lunch go to a couple stores get overstimulated um have to talk to some people you don't want to talk to and then have to pee really bad and not know where to pee that's my idea of a perfect afternoon yeah what was your weekend like well i took my mom and my uncle on tour with me because my uncle was his birthday and he's like i want you to take me on tour and i'm like whatever you're into i don't judge it's not glamorous let me let me just preface with it's not glamorous so they've never been to texas my mom and my uncle so they're like we want to come to you texas so we went to houston austin and dallas the same run we did and it didn't it wasn't good for my dairy it was i now my new thing is just posting online being like is this dairy and it's just cheese enchiladas and everyone's like no it doesn't count in texas I was just gonna say Texas has their own set of rules and dairy is they're doing like they're doing more than dairy they're what are they doing they're doing like that what's the thing that people get so mad on TikTok about that's one of my favorite things about TikTok people can get so mad about things and I'm like I don't even know what that is to get mad at it I love when there's drama about something I don't know and I get to start on the ground floor and sometimes i can't find the original tiktok that people are even mad about but i'll still get an opinion on it i'm like i need the root of this argument my current niche one have you heard about hair by chrissy no okay this girl hair by chrissy i don't know where she's located it seems like texas it could be la and it's this lady that owns a salon that all these like influencers go to so this young girl goes hey i just paid four thousand dollars for hair by chrissy and she came over for like a minute and like touched my hair for like 90 seconds total and i feel scammed so the internet is losing their mind on whether if you who did the girl's hair she basically is like what do you want and then she'd get like five other girls to do everything else but she'll come in and like curl one hair or like check it to make sure it looks good so like yeah that's the drama she's outsourcing she's giving you like a consultation and saying you got your hair done by her but really she's like outsourced the work yeah and i think the problem also what 13 year old is paying four grand for a wait wait wait she was 13 she wasn't 13 i don't you know anyone anyone who's young nowadays i don't know but this is like this is like she was like 18 yeah she was like 18 okay got it got it um no i i'm not abreast with that tiktok also these girls are getting like extensions sewn in i feel like that would give me a headache immediately i'd be like can you take it off like after eight hours i'd be like wait it's kind of itchy me can you take it off it's interesting because you've been wearing extensions for like a couple weeks now clip-ins you're using clip-ins i do a clip-in and you don't think that you could ever no run with the big dogs oh no no no i'm not i can't be with the mormon housewife this is my thing though what i love about clippins they put it in you're like that's uncomfortable but it's gonna feel so fucking good when i get home and i do it slow too like i i put up my phone on do not disturb and i slowly unclip them with some like with some music Like, it's sensual.

7:18It's a, it's, I was just going to say. You're learning your own body. You're like, bad touch. No, don't like that. I'm like, Des, can you scratch my head? No, he's busy. I'm over here with my, and then, yeah, I, so I've been enjoying my clippies, my clippins, but I've become a monster with them. You've become a monster? Yeah, when I have clippins, I like, I think I'm Mariana Grande in Wicked. I'm like, what? What? What? have you watched it's all her fault or all her fault i started it i fucking love sarah snook love it also i love the name sarah snook if my name was wait who is that the australian redhead oh is that her name yeah yeah her real name yeah she was named after snooky

8:09no my name was sarah snook i'd be like hi i'm sarah snook nice to meet you it's double s to reporting to business can i tell you that i've actually been re-watching jersey shore and i'm at and i'm on season five and there's i'm not kidding this is gonna sound so insane there's something extremely calming about it well it's also like a beautiful simple time when like our biggest worry was our facebook wall i didn't realize how much drama happened on that show wait are they in italy yet did they go to italy yet we did italy we're back in the jersey shore so the situation which by the way the fact that his name was the situation that is so many syllables for a nickname like i don't remember in real time where like he was like a full-on drug addict and then they came back for season six and was like i'm sober now like i skipped When he bashed his head into the drywall in Italy?

9:08To get home because he was out of drugs. It's so funny because like watching reality TV and then them like hearing like, okay, well, this happened because he wanted more drugs. But like as a viewer, you would have never known that. It's just so funny to watch now knowing like all the lore. Can I give a reality TV hot take, which we occasionally do? we are at the point i haven't been watching reality tv however i believe i sent it in the ether we're at the point where we need to let people fight about production because at the end of the day i think everyone understands now that the fights are about production so yes well i've been watching mormon housewives secret lives of mormon wives and they're that's their whole their whole thing is about production well the first season tends to not be about production because people are like actually getting to know each other.

10:02But then it becomes, and let me say a general example. I'm not saying this happened to anyone, but it'll be like you're in the car and they're like, okay, wait like 30 minutes. You get there and some girl's like, why are you always late? You can't say production told me to, or you do, but obviously they cut that part. And they're like, I don't like your attitude. I hate you. Next thing you know, it's a huge fight. Yeah. All because of production. The majority of the reason people are fighting on reality TV is because they're mad that someone else is infringing on their reputation. Like you're fucking with how I'm coming off to America and now I have to kill you.

10:42Yes, yes, yes. So sometimes things might not look that bad. Like they're like, hey, she's just asking her a question. It's like, no, that question, the fact you're the one that agreed to ask me that is fucked up. Also, do you know Mormons are like incredible at show tunes? the more i learn about mormons the more i'm not surprised yeah what else would they do but be able to sing and dance they can't drink like half the people on dancing with the stars my new religion are mormons because like the huff brother sister are mormons whitney's obviously mormon riley arnold is is mormon i know you don't know these names but they're huge in the dance community No, I actually, I didn't know Julianne Hough was Mormon.

11:24Yeah. Yeah, because they just sat around and, like, danced and sang. Performed. And the gay male Mormons were like, this is awesome. Yeah. And they, like, toss each other around and shake beds. But I'm not getting into it. One note about Dancing with the Stars. Mm-hmm. I have ideas for this brand because it's doing so well this year. We need to expand. I pitched the - What is it? What is it this year? No, truly, I think it's, like, very interesting. Dancing with the Stars has been on for what like 20 years yeah I've talked to my sources I've talked to my sources and it was the biggest thing ever to come on TV then it like went and had a lull then it was almost seen as like if you went on Dancing with the Stars your career was over that was your final like hurrah you went on Dancing with the Stars now all of a sudden it's having this like Gen Z resurgence Gen Z's obsessed with things millennials did in like it's really crazy they're like really obsessed with like how we partied in high school i think it's because we're so close but so far they're obsessed with 2004 to 2016 like just listen to kesha just listen to kesha and you'll get it like listen to kesha and put navy eyeliner on your under lid and that's it but what is it that like dancing with the stars had that comeback there's a social media girl that works for them that is doing so well with their tiktoks and so basically the last two years it's kind of like our podcast like our podcast was doing well and then we started posting all our clips and they started doing that much better i also let's give credit to alex earl let's give credit to the mormon housewives these these like people who aren't considered hollywood famous who are actually more famous than a-listers in some capacity are bringing like serious views to the show and serious so wait i feel like a espn reporter for dancing no why do i no like actually i i've changed no this visual is really fucking with me because i have like multiple lights because i looked dead i feel like i'm in the chair i'm at cnn headquarters and i'm like reporting live we actually have hannah on the scene right now hannah what do you see um thank you so much page hope you're doing well um i want to pitch a dancing with the stars doing different things and i realize what it has to be and it's going to be violent and there will be blood but i want to see dancing with the stars figure skating

14:05wow okay i'm sure they've thought about it me out i've heard i saw i was watching um figure skaters and it was reminding me of dancing with the stars that's later just dancing on ice i mean a lot disney on ice hulu hulu hello the brand's already there the problem is is you can lose multiple fingers you could yeah like you know people break noses in the dance you could they could slice your innards could fall out is that good tv though is that good tv is that good i yeah like you're slicing now i actually already i already thought about it declined my offer thank you so much well you were anything physical you're not getting involved i do i do feel like people like to ask though they're like page if there's one reality show that from my childhood i would um partake in if they brought it back was called supermarket sweep and it was people that used to be timed going through the grocery store and i thought that it was some of the best television to ever grace the planet tricking people to do chores yeah i loved it and it was like you had to guess what was on sale and your items had to add up to a certain number and you had to it was just supermarket sweep and i loved it that was very italian mom of you well i would actually watch it with my aunt pam oh in the summers crushed aunt pam is like look at these fucking amateurs yeah while my grandma would like make oh my god making dinner or something they can't even find the produce aisle they can't find the produce aisle what's the fuck is this guy doing whenever it was a man i'm like why is he doing this this man has no idea when people say that they had like really good childhoods it's the similarity between people that had good childhoods it's that they lived a certain amount of years as an old woman like like i lived a certain amount of years as a 75 year old smoker you know like like i had my shows I woke up late I had like morning coffee I had debriefs You know like I I went to bed late And I sipped on Pepsi While like a Yankee game was on You know like I was an old woman The truth is a good life is circular The way you start your life and end your life Is the same Unfortunately right now we're in a little bit of a chaotic moment But I started you know you're like Watching morning TV You know because you have nothing to do during the day you're having a slow morning

16:47oh the peaceful you have chocolate milk for no reason if you peed yourself it's like not that big a deal you can say anything you want you could say inappropriate things you could forget things and everyone goes oh that was cute that's when you're old and young but this age we can't get away with it as much um anyway so yeah density with the stars on ice maybe it won't work wait what show okay i wanted as you guys know like i'm an artist i actually like kind of wanted to be on project runway as a designer no but not to like have a fashion line like just to make stuff like i like the idea of like this is so you like this is so you you're like i actually really want to do this but first i'm gonna change it to what i think it should be i'm gonna do it and then well I wasn't like thinking fashion industry I was like okay I can make a sick dress out of this whatever they're trying to do like I'm an idea person I'm an idea I'm a creative director so I was into that stuff um but yeah anything survivor no MTV yeah made is that what it's called oh I thought you were gonna MTV made sorry I thought you were gonna MTV made and then you were gonna what would you have wanted to be made into oh my god yeah these were like such good ones at the time like it was people being like i want to be like captain of the cheerleading squad i want to be like it was like very sports related so like when i would watch it and i was younger i was like i want to be like the dance captain i was gonna say like now i want to be made into someone who doesn't have anxiety you know like the dance captain is for someone else and that's my segue to our documentary of the week eddie murphy i saw it i didn't click on it but i i figured you watched it this sweet i'm gonna cry this sweet sweet sweet man eddie murphy at one point says happiness is not about how much money you make how much fame you have it's how much peace you have in your minds it's so true and my king eddie murphy blows up in the 80s like he was the first he was like one of the first leading black actors to like star in a huge huge hollywood movie that like financially killed it and he was the biggest star of the 80s and he'd like be hanging out with rick james he's doing music he could do every impression whatever he also doesn't drink doesn't smoke honestly eddie and i like would have hung out he doesn't drink he doesn't drink in the 80s he's hanging out with rick james he said shit would get kind of weird and then he would just like leave but he'd hang out all the time and he was just like incredible but this is the sad thing about it people started to you know do impressions of him because he was got so popular and um he had this laugh this classic laugh where he'd be like i think that was that was his laugh he was like anyway it was the best laugh ever he changed his laugh he changed his laugh because people like i guess they were kind of making fun of him but that was like how they would do like an snl impression of him and you're watching him and he's doing like a different laugh the whole documentary and you're like where's eddie but it got me wait that's so sad and also so dramatic but also so fucking real because i don't know about you i've been told i have annoying laughs and i think i've changed my laughs through the years depending on who my best friend is like do you know how like you ever like hang out with someone and they have a certain laugh and next thing you know you both are like together i think that's just like symbiosis though i think that's just like osmosis i feel like sometimes i've changed my laugh based on well all girls have had a moment where we've changed our laugh around our crush like you've been like i went through like a week in like eighth grade where i changed my voice where I was just like like I swallowed a lot more than I normally did

21:17what I don't know why because like I met a girl and she like sounded cool and she like swallowed a lot and I was like yeah I think she had a saliva problem I think she had she had a sinus infection she had overactive saliva that was like when i thought it was cool in um elementary school to do a half smile so i would do half smiles all my photos in elementary school would be going like this i thought it was so cool

21:54wait we didn't even talk about you being on jimmy fallon and taking your pants off look we got to get ratings in these streets wait page and i have a chill biz page messaged me and she goes did you just do what i think you did on fallon i said yes i did and she goes save it for giggly squad and i said i'll speak to you then so here we are um can i defend myself i'm watching it and i'm like it starts normal starts normal starts normal though yeah i'm like but she's wearing tights like i'm not getting it until then like at the final moment i'm like but she's in tights and you're like and i'll just rip them i'm like all my dams were like check on page check on page i hate to say this jimmy jimmy found has no cabs okay so this is the behind the scenes of how this came about when you go on a show they have a producer that calls you and it's like so what do you want to talk about now this is what's tough with me and you we be talking like my stories are out there anything that's ever been done but let me tell you something something that is stressful is like when someone emails you and it's like a producer from the jimmy fallon show is going to call you and ask you like the funniest things you can say in five minutes go and you're like um i don't have any friends or a life i have funny things to say like that's my immediate thought i'm like i don't do anything it's so true they're like do you have any funny stories and i'm like hmm well so they go last time you were on um you did the worm and it was amazing with the team loved it and i was like thank you they go so what else can you do i said oh that's that was it babe like that's all i have that's all i have to give and she's like do you have any other skills and i'm like i could play tennis but we don't have a tennis court um and i'm like i could kind of juggle any talent any talent at all i go i could juggle and she's like okay with what and i'm like balls and she's like not like any knives i was like nope nope just balls and i'm like but not like under pressure and she's like okay i'm like for like 10 seconds i could juggle and she's like okay okay we'll go with that so get off the phone i go to des and i'm like i just told jimmy found show i was gonna juggle and he was like that makes no sense that makes no sense like no one wants to see you juggle also you're not a juggler like i've never seen you juggle before does is that like you're not very pretty and you're not very bright like anytime we say an idea to does he's like how have you guys made it this far in life like you guys are so lucky does is here to veto my shit yeah he'll genuinely look at us and be like people ask you questions and they look to you for the answers how but this is doesn't i work together creatively very well because as you i told you guys i'm an ideas person i'm coming up with ideas and des is just slashing them down and when they're down so i'm saying he goes email them right now what it's nice to know that no matter where we are in our lives we'll always have someone that isn't a yes person he's more of a no guy and we need that we need that the truth is is the man is honest with me my honest king and every now and then does it hurt yeah there have been a couple real stingers yeah my scorpio king but um he's like no email them right now you're not juggling and i'm like okay well i don't want what other skill because yeah i don't have that many stories and he was like what why don't you do a calf off it was des's idea and i was like that is interesting i'll pitch it to them i'll see what they say so i pitch it to them they say we don't i don't hear anything back so i'm like i think that's a good thing and then i'm in the green room no news is good news no news is good no shut write that down so now when you've gone to the fallon show a couple times the tonight show at first he introduced himself to you but now it's like i feel like we go way back so like he walks into the green room and he's like hey saw you at the rider cup i'm like jimmy jimmy jimmy what's good and then i go it's crazy that you agreed to the calf off and he goes oh i didn't he's like but my team told me that you have no stories i didn't agree to it but i guess we're doing it and i'm like okay so we're laughing he leaves and then i realize i'm wearing tights so this is like all happening a little too close to show time so now when you were now you didn't think when you were putting the tights on didn't cross your mind oh well shout out to hue h-u-e they have incredible tights um wait i actually almost had a full meltdown in the green room because oh god okay i put on my skims and then i put on my tights and i the tights had like a lining that then when i put my dress over it you could see the line ever so slightly okay and actually grace was sitting there and they were like we could see this bump in your dress and they're like can you take off the spanks take off the tights and then put it on with the spanks oh no no the way i almost had a meltdown so i'm fighting for my life back there i'm i'm i'm fighting for my life labia out at this point spanks are one of those things that like humbling no here's the thing no one warned you for the first i'm not getting it's like emotional No one warns you for the first time that someone says to you, do you have any Spanx for under that?

27:54Where you're like. Sorry, I think I. Sorry, I think I misheard you. You want me to put Spanx on under this like my mom wears Spanx like it's very. We used to raw dog bodycon dresses. Yeah. Do you remember the days American Apparel bodycon dress? Throw it on. Show up to the house party. that was freeing nowadays yeah i need to stuff myself fuck a bat mitzvah you become a woman when someone says here are your first set of spanks that's when you become a woman like that is you were there one of our shows with my mom where my mom looked at me took off her spanks and gave me her spanks because she's like you're not going on stage i'm going on stage with no spanks so i'm fighting for my life and then i look at the producer and i'm like oh my god i'm and these tights are gorgeous and they go with the outfit this like we have to figure something out and she goes oh um okay we'll bring out a scissor for you and i was like okay and i'm like turned to grace i'm like am i about to like like bleed to death on me trying to like oh you got nervous to use the scissors yeah yeah i'm not i'm not a fucking like collage artist i don't know how to well i've never cut a tight before with a little adrenaline i'll mess up anything yeah like with a camera on me who knows what can go wrong it's so crazy because i'd be like i'm not gonna be strong enough in the moment to rip my tights i'm gonna need the scissors where you were like i will accidentally stab everyone in the audience my second brain can't be trusted not on live television i'm literally like a toddler i'm like you can't give me scissors without an adult in the room like what you're like my mom's not even here no and then there wasn't like a practice run with it obviously so i'm but this is again where i think we have to talk about mindset because i was in there feeling good i didn't have a beta blocker i was excited to see jimmy i liked some of my stories and i said i'm gonna leave the rest to god let go and let god when i look back at it so many things jersey shore vinnie just got that tattoo across his chest so it's actually a lot so timely it's so aligned let go and let god say anthony was watching over me i knew that so so many things could have gone wrong especially because we start the bit and i i assume someone's going to give me a scissor but no one gives me a scissor and i said oh they're about to let the monster out of its cage and i said i'm about to be the hulk and i'm gonna you're on you're on you're live this is live there's no scissors and i and i was like we're ripping it and somehow imagine if i were to rip it and it like you can't really see the calf like this is this is the finale it could have been the wrong spot it could have been too high i could have not opened it but like yeah that's something you would do like i'm so weak i'm so little but also i do have to say i did google jimmy fallon calf beforehand and there's one paparazzi shot of him running and i was like i think i could take him i think i could take him um i saw what i need to see so anyway i i rip it and the crowd has a great reaction and i kind of laugh and i walk off stage and i'm like did it did it work and the whole everyone backstage was like your calf has never looked bigger and i'm like no hannah it's i think i said this to you it looked like someone inserted a dinner plate in your cat i was like how is it so angular the calf gods were watching over me and like the bit couldn't have worked better but like there was a three percent chance that was gonna hit i also think like the coloring of the kite was like adding a little contour like it was doing something the only thing i could think of and this was actually the majority of my dms was that you shaved your legs because i was like if there's a zoom in i'm gonna be so real there was like two day old hair that if they zoomed in they would have seen but i had bigger problems in that moment like i was worried about a lot of things also all i do is try to not rip tights so there was something very satisfying about just ripping a tight something rebellious yeah like let out your anger by like ripping an old tight you don't want but um so yeah that's how all that came to be so that's um yeah that's how that all played out also um awesome just raising awareness about these these talk shows and when you like are promoting something it's crazy because sometimes you meet people like with the camera on you like I did the today show and Chloe Fineman was there and I've never met her so the moment I meet her is us me walking on stage and the camera's on so you're in like camera mode you're like hey hey nice to meet you like it's the weirdest thing like the first time I met Kelly Clarkson I was doing I was hosting a game show and I'm like this isn't how I wanted us to meet then you were standing like that yeah I literally was just You're a game show host.

33:16She was watching me read off a card. That's my nightmare. That's your nightmare. That's my nightmare. Except I can do teleprompter like eerily good. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the only thing I know how to do. I imagine you in school being like, can we do teleprompter instead of book? Thanks. I really shine on a teleprompter. In college, like being like a journalism major, I was so bad at everything. except when we were like in studio and like i could literally could not read out loud in class but once there was a teleprompter on me that i knew like a camera was watching me i was shakespeare i couldn't i couldn't stop speaking also i came at um leslie bibb and um jenna hager bush about bobs i sat down and it was like a fun bit like i just want to warn america against bobs and leslie was like why would you say that like why are you coming from my throat i just met you wait i'm obsessed with leslie bibb and her tiktok she like has a house upstate that she's like i think it's upstate that she's like redoing she's the sweetest angel also stoning stoning but i just want to like let people know that like just because the bob works on some people it doesn't work for everyone and i just was raising awareness okay i'm actually really happy you said that because as someone who's had a bob i can't say that no you can't because you pull it off i can't say that to people like it's not for everyone like because that would come off really bitchy true you over there with your clip-in extensions you can say hey a bob's not for everyone it's no it's not because i look like a a scared Victorian boy.

35:03You look like an apprentice in the 1760s. I look like that evil king from Shrek. Yeah. Okay, what else? Anyway, Eddie Murphy was in Shrek. Two Eddie Murphy movies you guys have to watch. Mulan, He Was the Lizard, and Shrek when he's the donkey. We have to watch some old nostalgic movies just to enjoy life again. and to smile. What do you think about Kim Kardashian not passing the bar? Wait, we haven't even really talked about all this. Wait, not really. We haven't talked about it at all. No. Okay, let's talk about it. You go first. It makes me so sad because, like, I don't know what that show is.

35:51Like, I, and this is someone who I love the Kardashians. I literally support anything and everything that they do. Kim is one of those people where she's like, it's one in a million. Like, I would watch her on TV do anything. Is she going to win an Oscar? No, absolutely not. But if she wants to keep being in shows, I'm going to keep watching them because I like the way she looks. I like her outfits. I like the vibe. I like the aesthetic. I saw someone describe the show as very camp. And I don't know what camp really ever means. No one does. And they nailed it. No one does. That's exactly what the show is.

36:29I agree with you. I don't really. I went through a lot of different emotions. And I was texting you throughout it. So the first three minutes. And I love every actress in it. Obsessed. The first three minutes are. You don't know if it's a comedy or a drama. Like I couldn't tell if Sarah Paulson was being sarcastic. Or if she was seriously acting. I do think it was a. I was confused. And then Kim Kardashian, some of her lines seem like everyone else is acting. And then it looks like they went to her and just like got the line and then they put it in. Do you know what I mean? Kim felt like she was really nervous she was going to mess up the lines, like word for word.

37:11That's how it felt she was saying that. It seemed like they were like, Kim, say this line like 80 times and we'll pick the best one. And like that's how she did all her lines. And look, I don't care about whatever process. And it might not have been that, but that's what it was getting. I love it. and if that's what worked that's what worked but it's so funny too because we see kim doing the greatest acting of all time which is reality tv so we're used to seeing like we know who kim is as a person in a room so i think that's why it also is hard for her to act because we know her personality so well not to like give her excuses but um well it's kind of similar like when certain actors like when you go to their movies they're playing themselves like jason statham is always playing yeah jason statham jennifer aniston so like you think of kate like you see kim and you're like why is she stiff you're like but be yourself eat a salad shake a salad and make it believable but what i will say at first i was confused and then once then you're kind of rooting for her you're like yes deliver that line yes just get the hottest guy to be your husband on the show yes yes get a private jet yeah i was like you know what yeah yeah four alpha changes in four minutes hell yeah then i like couldn't turn it off because i was like a slow-mo montage of kim like dreaming of smashing someone's car it was selling sunset but ryan murphy style when she just walked out the car for 15 seconds slow-mo I was like this is incredible and you know what I've been watching some like fancy artsy fartsy movies and I'm 30 minutes in and it's just all these like slow weird angular videography things and I'm like give me some entertainment I want story I want fun I want silly I want goofy okay well I'm gonna just say this as someone who consumes television all day long who like does not really watch reality tv there's no shows for girls i need more shows for girls like every new show it's like okay yeah and you have to capture this and talk to this police officer and then this detective's gonna get murdered and they started a company that you need to figure out like who the lawyer is and i'm like stop i want like more emily all's fair is for the girls for sure and i also there's something about older women and i don't mean that older than us um being so successful and so rich that like i love watching it's like a manifestation i love it it's like yes this is what i want like they're on their eighth husband and they're just like covered in jewels and it just seems very luxurious and they love the most The most luxurious part about it, and I feel like I've noticed this as I get older, is the freedom of doing whatever you want.

40:13Like 10 years ago, I would have said, I want a Birkin bag or I want this jewelry or whatever. And then as you get older, I feel like you're like, no, I just want to be able to do whatever I want. And all of them in that show can do whatever they want. They're in control. so that's why we actually do think it's an oscar nom and people are giving it and that's why yeah we are voting for it but what i what i love about kim is everything kim's accomplished started as an idea in her head and she executes it and everyone's laughed at her the entire time but like what skims has become is fucking bonkers it's like partnered with nike um but i love that she's like wants to try to be everything and do everything pivot also who is gonna tell you that like you're bad also i love that she posted all the tweets that were like kim you're bad you're bad actress she was like hell yeah like i love it why can't women do it all yeah why can't we do and do it badly why can't we normalize women doing things badly why do women have to be good at everything no men do so many things bad every single day and we have to and we literally pretend that they're doing a good job and we lie to them at least we're honest with women but like let her do it and let her be bad at it also i feel like kim could pass the bar if she wasn't doing 4 000 other projects like niecy nash was talking about how like kim is literally like on the phone like yelling at like a business manager about something and then starting a new business and then having an acting coach and then studying for the bar while also shooting reality tv i'm like yeah she's not passing the bar yeah yeah even legally blonde she like was at the library like for studying wait what do you think about kim calling out her psychics wait what did you see kim say she called her sisters and she's like all our psychics are bullshit they all four of them told me i was gonna pass the bar well well well you know what i love that the kardashians go to so many psychics i love maybe if you didn't go to so many psychics and instead of sitting and talking to psychics all the time and you looked at what was at the in the bar and didn't just look it's all about the etsy witch these days but like that scares me see that is too you're my etsy witch my catholic guilt comes into play there i'm like that's dabbling too much with karma i don't do that i can't do that no no no no but you're my etsy witch yeah oh i have my own i have my own i literally texted hannah something earlier today and i was like and this happened to this person and it wasn't like a bad thing that happened to that person and i was like i think my powers are really strong because i didn't mean you guys look up the sicilian malocchio anywho oh gosh so yeah all's all's fair um it's fun are you watching the kardashians this season is it done i actually am i need to like get on it's like funny and like cute and like whatever and i have it on when i'm like on my walking pad let's normalize shows that you have on in the background i can't with all these like shows that you need i don't want to know pad i hate doing that podcast virtually i can't like embrace you you're not having a good time you go i hate i hate this i hate this

44:04no i think we're in like a business meeting where i'm just like hello come over like i feel like you're like my friend like i'm on the phone you know like sometimes you're on the phone with your friend and she's like i don't know if i'm gonna come over yet like maybe later and like you're like just come over now and she's like but i have things to do like that's how i feel right now i'm like we're just we're on the phone anyway just come over and you're like sorry I'm in LA. I'm sorry. My mom's not letting me. Also, because I went into like a formal studio to record. So normally when we record virtually, I'm also like sitting on the floor.

44:34But now I'm like, I really do feel like I'm like. No, you're literally interviewing me. It's making me uncomfortable. I'm like, I have K-18 in my hair right now and like Aquaphor on my toes. Like I'm vulnerable. Weird stuff is going on. Like other people are there and they're listening to me and I don't know what they look like. that freaks me out i also i have to get my nails done after this and i'm gonna freak freak out i'm gonna cry i'm literally crying i mean this is like not a oh here's the other thing this is like a sunday evening we're recording on a sunday sunday this there's a lot of weird energy happening sundays are weird vibes yeah because weird energy you're you're like you're sad about the weekend ending but you're also very anxious about the next week starting so there's no positives anywhere you look we're scared like on sunday nights you ever like look at your calendar for a week like for like the week ahead and you like mentally have to be like it's actually like not even that bad like you made it sound like it was so much worse than it is and like that's actually gonna be fun and you literally talk to yourself like you're your own child yeah like you're gonna have a great time i've been trying to tell myself it's not gonna be it's not gonna be as bad as you think it's gonna be but i do this new thing now that i look at my calendar and whatever is really pissing me off like i'm like i'm canceling it you actually okay you said something a couple weeks ago a couple months ago that you wanted to have like boundaries where you're like no i'm not doing it in the past month you've texted me things hey i don't want to do this and i'm like great some of of the things i don't need i'm not even made abreast of them i said no to things you haven't even heard of wait what'd you say i say no to things that yeah you haven't even heard have been happening um you're like do you want to do this is it your dream and i'm like i don't even know what you're speaking about yeah cancel it there is a positive there is a light happening right now i bought a furbo now let me just say i was having a weird like wireless headphone thing with furbo for a while like okay even though you showed me daphne on your furbo all tour i was like yeah but mine's not gonna work like how do you use a phone how do you use an iphone like seriously how do you text but also like when you get it you have to install it like it just doesn't plug it in no you plug it in there's no installation you plug it in and you download the app this is so like when there's something it's gonna take one minute but like you take eight months stressing over it so i finally got a furball for butter and it is so incredible because when i'm away from her i think she's at home trying to slit her wrist like that's what i envision butter does when i'm gone she's just like where's my mom I went off myself.

47:32Turns out she's just sleeping on the couch. She is living life. I know. People get really mad at massive companies where they're like, that company should not be worth that much money. Furbo should. Furbo should. Furbo should. Furbo just serves all the money in the world. No, Furbo. Because it's the best invention. Furbo is the only thing to get you out of depression. Right before I went on stage, I was just looking at my Furbo, and I'm saying I love you butter I love you and then I give her her treats and butter but at first the way butter was looking at me in the fur boat I got sad but at least I was feeling something you know you immediately become buddy the elf you're like amazing I'll call you in five minutes like stay right there I will see you in a second I'm getting notifications so it'll say butter's walking butter's chewing yeah but and they want to help know your cat better so they're like is you're gagging right now yep apparently it seems so yeah it's like they like to know it's like after this podcast i can go and they're gonna review all the things butter's been up to because they can their ai is incredible where they cut all the moments of the day i missed where butter did something cute and then i watch it it's so then one thing though when i left i thought des was also leaving and like a couple hours later i go on the furbo and i'm talking to like a text from desi goes i'm fucking napping so i woke him up by the way you can watch people on the furbo so i think furbo is going to be the next thing where like people see like affairs happening i'm sure it's i'm sure it's already happening it's already like that is the thing there's so many people that have like cameras in their rooms i'm like what what are you what's the camera well no i don't like that at all i'm like is that just your furbo like why are people putting so like why do so many people have cameras in their rooms well i was getting my makeup did and des started talking to us through the furbo and everyone got freaked out um but yeah so the household has changed the furbo is kind of no it's the best it's the best um but yeah it keeps des on so des is in ireland now and i'm in la so that's eight hour difference so we like are not gonna see each other you're divorced we're divorced yeah like there's like about one hour in the day when we're both awake no that that's your dream that's your dream that is so tricky with someone like you because you have bored of my narcolepsy no i know i sleep late he's getting up early we're just missing each other but like i think it's good even as a what time is it there right now you guys even as a wife play hard to get keep him on his toes be like is she alive is she where is she is she gonna come home today are we still married something i have to bring up i feel like straight men never have hand soap in their apartment well occasionally they have a bar of soap which is disgusting they they have they never have both they never have a hand soap and a hand towel sometimes you get the soap no towel sometimes you'll get the towel no soap they've never had a complete set boy bathroom is like next level crazy because men like i guess because they don't wash their hands after they pee they like don't treat it like we do i just want a moment to remember it's something that happened earlier today my mom called me and she goes do you remember that outfit it had like it was like a little pleated skirt and it had a matching jacket and i was like from when and she was like you were in kindergarten

51:38your conversations are so different than mine and i and you knew you go yeah november 2nd yeah of course i go yeah of course i remember that outfit what about it what about it is my question what about it did she save your stuff she has some stuff saved but she's like me like like if she doesn't remember something like she'll remember by like what she was wearing or what i was wearing and that's how i am too where i'm like i don't remember that event but if i if you tell me what i was wearing then i'll know that's like a very specific kind of mental illness it's very specific to us some people are visuals annoyed that she was like asking about it but i was like yeah obviously i remember that outfit wait speaking of limited two you know what i want to wear like a tank top with like a little poncho over it like i want to those little ponchos is poncho the right word like a sheer like little cape a sheer little cape or a furry one or a fluffy one or a cotton one.

52:42No, I love a poncho. I love a poncho. Like, if I wear it, will people make fun of me? Who is Ponce de Lyon's? What is that? Is that something in France? What is it? Ponce de Lyon's? Yeah, what is that? It sounds like a guy in... No, that's something. Ponce de Lyon's. Ponce de Lyon's sounds like you just cursed me out. Paul's only on to you too Paul's only on Bless you Paul's only on a bit It's like an explorer I was like so wrong Where did you get what? I don't know that like made me think of it Anyway Anywho Sorry it's Sunday night I have to like get all my weird feelings out No I know Also, we just shared a meme on our Instagram about, like, don't complain that we change the subject all the time.

53:42Like, be thankful that we've talked about 18 different things in four minutes. Like, sorry, we can squeeze it all in. If something pops in my head and I don't say it immediately, then I'm going to forget it and that's going to annoy me. I hate a long story. So, like, Ponce de Leon. Ponce de Leon. Also, you said it as if I was about to be like, yeah, I know who that is. Are you?

54:06I thought I was being so stupid and it was like a really famous thing in France. Yeah, obviously.

54:18It's so stupid. I'm crying. By the way, have I ever known anything historically? No, but like you love Paris. You always talk about it. No, but like it's like your favorite. I don't know anything about wars. I think like when I was younger I started talking about wars I was like I don't like I don't like this I don't like what it stands for I don't support it and therefore I'm not gonna process any of this information that's how it was about math like it's my biggest fear to go on a game show and they're like when was the war of 1812 I'd be like no idea like are you smarter than a 5th grader like that is like a humiliation ritual that I would never be a part of they had Travis Kelsey hosting like that's very funny great casting it's so funny um but occasionally on those like tiktoks where they ask people basic facts i'll do well on it and my head will get big for a second because you're like not under pressure like i i couldn't know even like billy eichner being like name a woman i'm not i know wait that's i do have to say when the camera is on you you blank you blank out i don't remember my own name jimmy founds like hi i'm jimmy i'm like i'm jimmy too hi that's what you do one other thought i'm really into broccoli omelets right now okay but no one has it available so where are you getting them well okay my grandma would make like broccoli frittatas which is very italian but this thing you love you like broccoli rob la brocca rob but when you have broccoli in an omelet it tastes like potato so it tastes like a hat just bear with me well wait wait wait wait broccoli kind of tastes like potato in an omelet i'm gonna try that because i love broccoli so wait you know what i've been doing recently this is like so weird but like amazing yeah i've been getting just like frozen peas okay and putting them in the microwave and like steamable like making frozen peas then put then opening the package putting butter in it and eating it with a spoon wait i've just been eating peas i didn't i don't know if that's illegal i'm like why does why aren't people talking about well you know they do that for babies they mush up the peas yeah basically that's what i'm eating wait i did get on a weird tiktok algorithm of um moms making food for their kids that they also eat so be like we're eating why not like i'm sorry i'm not you're not just eating chicken nuggets if you're getting chicken nuggets mom is getting chicken nuggets too i'm scared i'm gonna have a baby and i'm just gonna change my whole personality i'm gonna be a freak and i'm gonna be like i'm making mashed carrots today i can't podcast you want to do that so bad but you you're always freaky behind the scenes yeah wait what are we talking about

57:27i feel like next thing you know you're gonna be mashing up peas putting it on your face telling me it's good for your pores well don't tell me but this is my thing i know i'm sure there's something there who decided that when you go to a diner they're like okay um omelet with spinach I'm with peppers I'm with onions where's the broccoli option you want me to be healthy you don't give me a broccoli option and then if I ask for broccoli I'm a fucking nerd it's like when I ask for apple juice it's almost like you see more asparagus omelets than you do broccoli no I know and I feel like broccoli's PR team is slacking not on top of it not on top of it I never order an omelet so i don't care about this cause i could tell it's when i started the the life died in your eyes when i started talking about it supporting it here i'm here nor there i'm speaking up for the omelet community that doesn't get spoken for and it doesn't affect me so like what are you eating granola peas why don't people do i'm getting like if i'm going to a diner i'm a fried egg bacon and toast yeah hash browns yeah yeah wait why don't people put peas in omelets that's disgusting peas are to be eaten on their own with butter or at thanksgiving or with a chicken i do have to say peas with like a little bacon or if you're italian pancetta with a little onion oh oh my oh my oh oh stop a mushroom oh oh don't stop i gotta go you guys we ended on a high note you're sick thank you for giggling with us um i'm going to florida next weekend a bunch of shows in florida page what are you doing oh gosh daphne latte stripe is coming up when is this pod coming out third tuesday daphne latte stripe is coming out today so it's one of our new colorways and yeah get it i love a latte thank you guys for giggling talk to you later bye