Giggling about summer colds, spray tans, and Sicilian mornings

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0:57Hannah Berner: Okay, let's talk about the most important financial topic of I think our generation.

1:02Paige DeSorbo: Whether or not your Venmo payment should be public. No. Or making sure your friends always Venmo you back and they don't forget.

1:09Hannah Berner: Exactly, Hannah. But once they do, you can instantly use that money in your Venmo balance. I feel like people don't know that.

1:15Paige DeSorbo: I love having a Venmo balance. It makes me so happy. and I'm buying nachos with it. My Venmo debit card goes crazy. I'm not going to have so many nachos because of my Venmo debit card.

1:28Hannah Berner: There's also no monthly fee or minimum balance required, which sounds very you. And it also actually sounds very giggler friendly. So you could just check out with Venmo online if that's just more your thing. It's also really easy.

1:42Paige DeSorbo: And the best part is Venmo Stash where you can earn up to 5 % cash back. Cash back is like getting rewarded the more we use venmo and the more you do the more cash back you can earn so get the

1:55Hannah Berner: venmo debit card or check out online venmo stash bundle terms and exclusions apply max 100 per month see terms at venmo.me slash stash terms venmo checkout not available at all merchants the venmo mastercard is issued by the bank corp bank n a

2:16Paige DeSorbo: sup gigglers scary fix your wi-fi manifest that shit we can't be managed

2:26I mean the day just got away from me hello what are you laughing at

2:34Paige DeSorbo: because I didn't time it right

2:36Hannah Berner: no because we just were staring at each other

2:39Paige DeSorbo: we cannot make direct eye contacts it's too intense

2:43Hannah Berner: for our souls um what's that my grandiose gigglers wait when we do this do you look at yourself

2:49Paige DeSorbo: no i look at you and then i check on myself i check to make sure there isn't something insane

2:55Hannah Berner: happening okay i look at you when you're telling like a long story but then you don't yeah okay actually it's the opposite i look at me when you're telling a long story when you're

3:07Paige DeSorbo: telling something i start a long story you begin your skincare routine like you start like organizing things on your dresser like you know wait today was actually so bad for whatever reason

3:20Hannah Berner: i think that i have someone's assistant's email like accidentally blocked from my email because i'm never in the calendar invite for this one specific meeting so today i get on and i'm like full face mask full jammies i'm like i wasn't aware something was going on and i kept my face mask on the whole time because i had just put it on this is where my mom would call the teacher

3:45Paige DeSorbo: and be like hey i know page i know page is having her own problems coming late but then hannah gets distracted because page is making hannah laugh during class because the whole meeting i was taking screenshots of you in the different positions of your face with the face mask because you were so serious so we'll add that to the newsletter because i have a whole folder of screenshots of you during zooms being insane but everyone respects you still it's crazy

4:12Hannah Berner: it's because of your aura yeah i think it's my aura and also because you're busy i'm busy i say things assertively i i know that you start new segments randomly but i'd like to start a new segment and you run it by grace i didn't okay did you run yours by grace yeah i run everything by

4:34Paige DeSorbo: yeah there's a formality to giggly squad but okay just skip the middleman

4:38Hannah Berner: my segment is what pissed me off this week okay and i think that's actually a phenomenal segment oh yeah let's go i'm in i'm in this was like a couple days ago but because we didn't record on monday are we okay that's that was i this is what

4:58Paige DeSorbo: happen because we didn't record that again page and i was we're on a two-hour facetime on wednesday

5:05Hannah Berner: we i didn't realize that that is why we had to facetime because we didn't record we had to chat

5:09Paige DeSorbo: yeah it's like we needed and then in my head i was like oh that would have been so funny to tell on giggly squad so we'll try to recreate some moments but they won't be as good what pissed

5:17Hannah Berner: you off i don't even remember what we talked about um i don't know i think it was at the knicks yeah it might have been the knicks or whoever like they're playing and the other whoever the other teams are whatever it was travis kelsey and taylor swift they're sitting courtside watching and the announcer said travis kelsey and his girlfriend now how successful does a woman need to be to be called her name not only did it piss me off just like here's the thing i thought about it if if he only if the if the announcer only knew travis kelsey because it's sports and he knew who he was and blah blah blah maybe because he was live it like quickly slipped his mind like oh my god I can't remember Taylor Swift's name because that happens and you say like oh his girlfriend

6:07Paige DeSorbo: first of all it's his fiance but I digress but then later you could say Taylor Swift calling

6:15Hannah Berner: Taylor Swift anyone I'm not even Travis Kelsey calling Taylor Swift anyone's anything girlfriend anything is so insane to me i'm like it it's taylor's also it wasn't even a football game

6:29Paige DeSorbo: it was a basketball game and they both were two fans watching i'm like that's taylor swift's

6:36Hannah Berner: boyfriend like what are you talking about to you that like really pissed me off i'm like oh my god she has what she has to be more successful for you to you to know what the fuck her name is like

6:46Paige DeSorbo: can we just watch one basketball game without getting offended by something one sporting event without getting offended? One sporting event. I was watching the back of their heads, Taylor and her boyfriend, the back of her heads.

6:57Hannah Berner: What game was that? The Knicks game.

6:59Paige DeSorbo: So, like, whenever we'd go to one side, I would just see, yeah, he chugged a beer or something, so then, like, the internet exploded. Oh, I missed that. Yeah.

7:08Hannah Berner: But you've been – I got the highlights.

7:09Paige DeSorbo: You've been watching the Knicks, though. Like, how about the Knicks?

7:12Hannah Berner: Well, I feel like every single person in New York City is, like,

7:17Paige DeSorbo: go Knicks watching the Knicks. It really brought the city together. it really has i was unaware that they've been so bad for so long so bad for so long i didn't know

7:27Hannah Berner: that my grandpa would be so happy a bad couple of years wait i've talked remember this someone i brought up my grandpa on a zoom earlier today i yeah i do remember it i do remember it because now i'm gonna keep a tally of how many times we're bringing up your grandpa on work zooms and then that is one moment when i do look at the zoom and i look at you because i'm like if you start crying i literally had to cover my mouth i started laughing i was like here she goes and the guy we were on zoom with was like oven old was a little bit older so i was like if she starts going like do you know jerry burner do you remember him he's from new york wait i know

8:07Paige DeSorbo: what we were laughing about on facetime what how kim texted you in the morning

8:17Hannah Berner: my mom texted me like two days ago like 8 a.m just r.i.p whatever happened to hello how are you i was like um did i do something to offend you she goes oh my god i'm so sorry i meant to say are you up and then it autocorrected to r.i.p she's like that's awful and me and hannah just went into like a we literally we went on a bit for you called it a sicilian hello a sicilian good morning anyone could die at any time someone's dead somewhere r.i.p. someone's resting in peace this morning it's like oh my god it's crazy that is the most sicilian thing ever oh my god anywho so that's how me and my mom start our days um have you watched

9:15Paige DeSorbo: off campus off campus i started it and at first i was like i don't think he's like that hot in the face then i was like okay his body's hot and then i started getting triggered thinking about like

9:27Hannah Berner: college because i i i know it was you don't do teeny bopper shows like i'm a teeny bopper i liked it when it was gay because i wasn't like it was that was interesting to me me watching like a girl like jersey chase i'm like that's just sophomore year baby okay she wasn't jersey chasing she was his tutor and then she realized she fell in love also she's his tutor and they're

9:55Paige DeSorbo: trying to say that he was smart babe that is fictional well yeah it is it's a fictional show

10:03Hannah Berner: i can't watch some science fiction fantasy i can't do it so many gigglers dm'd me because they know that i love well first they know i love watching hot people on the television and I love a high school like just a cute little stupid show that time in your life and you want to relive it maybe maybe it's because I love that time in my life but I love just like a stupid like to all the boys I've loved before like I love shit like that um oh my mom's calling me right now so it's probably dead somebody's dead again god damn it not again so um the so anyway so I get all these dms like you have to watch it in the first 15 minutes I'm like okay this is like a little bit cheesy for me but like I'm just gonna keep going through this first episode and then I'm like I'm really hooked the number one thing that I noticed in this show one the main girl is stunning gorgeous actually i had to look her up and see if she was brooke shield's daughter

11:07Paige DeSorbo: because i was like that's brooke shields like in the face or do you want me sorry spiss out

11:14Hannah Berner: do you want me again she's like the perfect cast and let me tell you something watching this show i was like oh and that's a normal college girl's body and that's a normal like hot guy in college like it felt i didn't hate my own body after like when you saw my sports illustrated shoot right like when i watch tell me lies sometimes i'm like well how are they so hot you know like this show there was just something about this show that was like they weren't artificial

11:49Paige DeSorbo: they weren't like manipulated yes their body their body parts were in the right places

11:55Hannah Berner: where they're supposed to be like every i was like that's a girl i went to college with that like doesn't know she's super hot and she's super hot like everyone knows knew that girl in college like it just felt normal like everyone looked normal no one was like a size double zero on ozempic bobblehead and i appreciated it yeah the hockey guys in college i told you one of the guys

12:17Paige DeSorbo: asked me what a major was and we were in junior year what was his clearly they put him in something

12:26Hannah Berner: and he didn't know what it was you're like babe you got expelled two semesters you don't go here babe why do you keep showing up but i've told i told the story many times before it was a hockey

12:38Paige DeSorbo: guy that my best friend my you know my two-week best friend we got married on facebook hooked up with him when i was at a tennis tournament and they ended up getting married and having kids which is and we're happy we're happy for them and they're on facebook i check up on them every now and then yeah i really want to comment but i haven't it's not the place it's not the place of the time it's not the place actually i haven't checked up on them in a minute let me put that in my notes um also um not to call you out on the pod but i was texting you i was vintage shopping for you and um crickets i sent you like nine things crickets no i asked you a question at one point no that was on an instagram message you said are you blind

13:26Hannah Berner: you know what no i'm gonna start screenshotting the vintage shit that hannah finds and sends to me she sent me like a like a polka dot in theory it sounds very me it was like a vintage big duffel polka dot big polka dots that said ysl in the front and i just texted back and said are you blind like it was the most insane bag i texted you a lot of shoes yeah you hated all of them well here's the thing with here's the thing with for me specifically and i'm only speaking for myself and my own journeys as you should as you should i love vintage clothes like i think there are so many cool vintage outfits that i've seen and like things that i've personally purchased when it comes to vintage shoes i'm kind of like gross ew someone else's foot and also

14:28Paige DeSorbo: what is that noise oh that was me scrolling through my vintage collection

14:34Hannah Berner: i'm scrolling through one of the messages with you right now being like a lot of the shoes look really worn like i've yet to see a vintage like rarely i'll be like oh this looks like it was never even worn but a lot of them i'm like yeah they're they're worn in babe okay you're right

14:49Paige DeSorbo: it's just i don't like spending money so when i see something that you i think you would spend money on i like love sending it to you um but and i don't have that problem you go i don't need your help and i don't need your help i don't need to go as hard as you because i'll spend the money

15:04Hannah Berner: okay so i don't need to scour the internet i'll swipe my card

15:12Hannah Berner: also another thing that pissed me off this week since i'm fresh off of a plane actually i'm sweating i have to take this off no i'm literally like i just landed eight minutes ago i was around three grown men and my bag was heavy this time three grown men one of them just like even cut me in line to get off the plane i'm like dude technically i'm in front of you but like whatever go ahead you have some place to be clearly no men have lost their oh my god speaking of men on

15:42Paige DeSorbo: planes i had a crazy flight with my mom and it was like a like six hour flight and these two men were across the aisle from each other okay and i tried to fall asleep but i like couldn't they It sounded like they were fighting, like really loud and aggressive. But then I listen and I realize they're just arguing about, like, who the best basketball players of all time are. Mind you, this is what guys have been talking about since the beginning of time. Like, I remember in middle school listening to my friends being like, and LeBron versus Kobe, and Shaq versus fucking Dikembe Mutombo. Like, they did it for five hours just, like, mansplaining to each other stats that they know off the top of their head to try to act like they know things i was this close

16:33Hannah Berner: to to like stepping in when you say across the aisle like across like they were they weren't

16:41Paige DeSorbo: so like they were both on the on the aisle seats and like okay so but they were talking loud

16:47Hannah Berner: so you were in what you were on one window seat and your mom was in the other yeah why didn't you

16:53Paige DeSorbo: guys oh no we oh no but they were like uh ahead of us we were sitting next to each other oh got it got it but these men were going going going and then we had stewardess drama i think they

17:06Hannah Berner: prefer flight okay i've gotten

17:11Paige DeSorbo: steward i steward i okay it's not gym teacher it's physical educator so the lady comes up to us and And she hasn't even, she's like asked if we want drinks. And she goes, by the way, like this is my second day.

17:28Hannah Berner: It was kind of, I guess it was kind of interesting because she was like 65.

17:33Paige DeSorbo: Also like she hadn't done anything wrong yet. So I'm like, you don't have to tell me up top that you're new, but like I'm rooting for you. Like go team go. A lot of time goes by. We don't get our drinks. Like it's been like two hours.

17:46Hannah Berner: We haven't got our drinks.

17:48Paige DeSorbo: Okay. this other lady comes up to us and she's like hey this other flight attendant sorry is like is not doing her job and claiming that it's her second day but she's worked for 20 years

18:05Hannah Berner: so then my mom and i are on the case we're like we're wait a minute i fly four times a week

18:14Paige DeSorbo: I've never been involved in steward eye drama to this extent she wasn't even giving us our drink she was like I need to tell you what the fuck I'm dealing with up front by the cockpit and we were like what is she like lying like what's going on and she's like I don't know we don't know but she's being really bitchy to us and I was like she was nice to us but she told us two days maybe she just

18:37Hannah Berner: like says that to people so that like when she messes up it's not that big a deal which actually

18:41Paige DeSorbo: genius honest i think she's playing chess and we were playing checkers yeah because then the lady ended up getting us the drinks and the one who said it was her first day comes later at the end and she's like i'm sorry like i've it's my first day i'm sorry if i messed up and i'm like this

18:57Hannah Berner: fucking genius i gotta start using this wait and so i can't believe she came back and said that to

19:05Paige DeSorbo: you and you know that she's lying yeah she was like i hope i did okay today well maybe i'm like oh maybe she's never done this airline but she's you don't this is the thing also about flight attendants the training is insane the training is military to become a flight attendant i've never had a flight attendant mess up to the extent that she has like most flight attendants are incredible

19:28Hannah Berner: yeah they are the baristas of the sea rarely had like a flight attendant issue i've never been in

19:36Paige DeSorbo: a pickle with a flight attendant before you want to know why they're gay because they're girls and gays.

19:41Hannah Berner: So they're like, hi.

19:44Paige DeSorbo: That's like when I lost my sunglasses at the Sports Illustrated event. I was like, it's full of women. We're going to be fine.

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24:00Paige DeSorbo: Brought a purse to the AMAs, and all the Googlers were making fun of me because I was holding my purse in every photo, and they were like, thank God you didn't leave it. You were keeping track of her. Leave it on stage.

24:12Hannah Berner: How was the AMAs?

24:15Paige DeSorbo: Lenore murdered. Best dressed. Lenore best dressed. because Lisa Rinna goes up to my mom and is like hello how are you who are you your dress is amazing I want to rip it off your body and my mom doesn't watch the housewives like she doesn't really know who Lisa Rinna is and she was like oh my god thank you and these two moms are kiki-ing and I walk away I'm like mom that's a fashion icon that just said she wants you like you're you did it girl retire but um i've never met lisa rena before you have though right yeah i have a couple times so i've never met her and how was your first experience so i don't watch housewives really either i've i know a couple they're all hilarious um but you never know what you're

25:05Hannah Berner: gonna get with them you never watched beverly hills i've like i've seen some but like i've never like watched a season okay but you've seen like in episode yeah i've seen like the lady throw

25:17Paige DeSorbo: her leg oh well that was real housewives of new york and that was a viva and that was iconic

25:23Hannah Berner: that was like old new york like good old days i feel like she just came out recently and did like an ask me anything and someone asked her about that and she was like yeah obviously i like plan I like knew I was gonna do it like at some point I was gonna do it I love how she was like I was

25:42Paige DeSorbo: keeping in my back pocket obviously yeah she's like she said something to the effect of like

25:47Hannah Berner: we're making an entertainment show and I was like totally killing so I'm backstage with Lisa Rinna

25:53Paige DeSorbo: and I'm yeah I'm nervous also sometimes you don't know like if like this is a job like we're about to present like I don't know if she wants to like kiki with me but I let her know like I've met amelia before and i love amelia and her eyes kind of lit up and she's like oh like isn't she the sweetest i'm like your daughter is so kind and sweet yeah and then i just go for it i'm like by

26:14Hannah Berner: the way i used to be on bravo also oh she didn't know i don't think she knew who i was she was like

26:21Paige DeSorbo: senior face don't know yes she was like you're cute this is gonna be fun yeah hi hello like i'm

26:27Hannah Berner: a mom i'm gonna be nice like you're a child to me and by the way lisa renna knows everyone she's

26:32Paige DeSorbo: like dabbing up John Legend like she's seeing everyone and everyone knows her she sorry it's been a long day she looks at me and she's like really and I'm like I don't know how to explain this but the very specific situation that you went through on Bravo it's crazy but I feel like I'm one of the few people that can kind of relate to what you've been through and she like looks at me and

27:01Hannah Berner: And you thought she didn't want to keep it. She was like, actually? Hold my purse. She literally said, hold my fucking purse.

27:10Paige DeSorbo: And she looked at me. And we said some things back and forth that I need to keep to my heart. Yeah. But she looked at me and took my hand. And she said, if these difficult things didn't happen to us, we would not be standing here today together presenting at the AMAs. that is so true and we had this like beautiful heart to heart because i told her i said i remember not to bring it up right before we go on stage but i love bringing up traumatizing things right

27:41Hannah Berner: before i perform yeah you do do that i said i remember when you were booed at bravo con

27:47Paige DeSorbo: and that was so fucked up like imagine your mom getting booed bless you and she was like yeah i'm But it is like WWE and you just have to lean in when you're on that side of the docket.

28:03Hannah Berner: Yeah.

28:04Paige DeSorbo: But we had this kind of like beautiful moment and then she was so fun. Like she's so cool. I just want the Gigglers know that Lisa, she's a good one. We love her. Yeah. We love her.

28:17Hannah Berner: No, she's always been really nice anytime I've ever met her. And I saw her after we met Amelia when we did Devil Wears Prada.

28:27Paige DeSorbo: and i was just like what a fam what a great family so freaking cute i also they must just have such a fun time together also um i started watching real housewives no i started watching the mormon secret wives yeah on the plane welcome i have so many thoughts but we're happy to have you it's a crazy journey you know we don't care when you start as long as you start yeah the problem is i started because we were getting our nails done and page put on like a random episode from season three so then i just continued from that episode so i watched season three first and now i'm in season two okay so you watched season three season four no you went

29:10Hannah Berner: season three back to two you didn't like finish i kind of like seeing did you watch season one okay i this is so you like like what the i like watching seasons out of order though because

29:26Paige DeSorbo: you you're kind of like oh my god this girl doesn't know what's about to happen to her and i know what's about to happen or like oh you're yelling her about this but she's about to yell at you about that next time because y 'all already you do the same thing you're doing the same things

29:38Hannah Berner: each other that's one of the craziest things that you that i didn't really know about you

29:44Paige DeSorbo: i also that's like actually i don't know why i was doing it but i think i was just going with the flow but anyway i've we've known jesse like she's been around like that's the mormon house house girl and she's always been awesome to us but i never watched her and then i get off the plane after watching season three and part of season two get to the amas first people i see

30:07Hannah Berner: marciano and jesse that's crazy to be like in in involved in the season like in that moment and

30:15Paige DeSorbo: then see that my life is so fucking weird because normally i see jesse i'm just like hey what's up like i know you're doing great stuff i haven't watched it support and now i'm like you guys um what's going on and this is why you have to go in order because she like just got divorced and are people mad like she's like literally like a week ago no her husband is the worst they're not mad that she's out with marciano even though marciano they don't give a shit oh good

30:43Hannah Berner: i don't think they're like actually together also you have a full flu right now

30:49Paige DeSorbo: no you have i have yeah you you have pneumonia well i had a cold i had a summer cold that like people were getting you're the you would make it chic having a cold you're like

31:01Hannah Berner: it's a summer cold you want to know what my assistant had a cold and then i was with her and then i got a cold and then i just flew so like whenever i fly like my like i can't i can't

31:13Paige DeSorbo: should you get like an iv or something do they no i don't like feel sick i just have like a head okay okay anyhow yeah seeing jesse after watching eight episodes of her was like kind of weird and i do have one note about jesse i think she has the bone structure to have a cunty bob

31:30Hannah Berner: bob yeah none of none of them have a bob oh um one of them did just cut a bob i can't i don't remember miranda but no one really has a bob yeah honestly hannah you could be mormon with your hair oh my god thank you yeah that's like a really big compliment i feel like it is funny though that i

31:49Paige DeSorbo: dressed up as a mormon housewife on halloween when i never watched the show because i trust you because i said she knows comedy and if it hits it hits that was the best show i mean now it's

32:00Hannah Berner: like i don't know who knows what's gonna happen with it but it here's the thing this is why you know it's the best show it got dark quick and they had to stop like the first it burned like seasons yeah it was and now everyone's like okay this is partly illegal and just not mentally good like it's so dark now and same with beverly hills like when lisa run i feel like was getting fired like it was getting dark like the moment you watch an episode and you're like this made me anxious I can't watch it like I can't I'm like this is not fun when I watch housewives I want to watch them be drunk and fall in a bush like I want to watch funny stupid things I don't want to know that like your husband has been cheating on you for 10 years and and you're pregnant you just found out yeah like people talk about the valley all the time and i've never watched a single second of the valley because i will i was never like a jacks fan and i feel like he got like some like redemption for like a minute when the show started and like whatever so it was just no one from vanderpump that like i would have tuned in for but like now on tiktok like i'll see clips and i don't know any of their names but there's this one girl on there and she's gorgeous yeah she's beautiful and her husband is a little rat like an actual rat you could be describing so many relationships so true and she like just had a baby and he's i mean diabolical that's the thing it's one of

33:45Paige DeSorbo: the craziest things vanderpump when they're just like young waitresses like taking plan b like that's cute but like when they're adults with children having issues i'm like this is like call a family lawyer no but also with mormon wives i don't understand what mom talk is because they're always like you're in mom talk you're out of mom talk you're in mom talk i'm like you mean to do a tiktok their group to do a tiktok but all together okay so if you want to take a do a tiktok with all of us you're a mom talk but i don't think mom talk can survive this because i

34:16Hannah Berner: I think when they first started, the way they got a bunch of views was if they were all together in one TikTok.

34:22Paige DeSorbo: But now they don't need to be all together.

34:24Hannah Berner: Yeah, now they don't. Now, like, that's, like, not a thing anymore.

34:27Paige DeSorbo: But they still, like, have to say to the camera, like, will MomTalk survive?

34:31Hannah Berner: Well, it's very interesting how reality TV is changing and ever growing. Like, who, Mormon Housewives is one of, I feel like, the first show to actually break the fourth wall and film a season of reality TV and talk about like, I'm going and doing this. Press. And I got this because of the show. Oh, yeah. Yeah, like we have to film the reunion. Like no one says that, I feel like, on Summer or on Bravo.

34:58Paige DeSorbo: And that's why I think Mormon Wives was so good because it becomes about egos and you're all fighting about people being jealous of who's getting what, but then they can change it to be like, well, no, I don't like how she's, i don't like something about her it's like no you're mad about something she got totally yeah it's like let's let's fight about that yeah let's fight about instead of editing it to make it look like someone did something but anyway i digress it's i digress um how are you

35:30Hannah Berner: i'm good how are you you're you have the craziest list of all time yeah my list got really crazy i have a question about spray tanning okay which i have one in one hour because i got a spray tan

35:40Paige DeSorbo: for amas that was on this is like literally women in stem shit i got it on what day thursday no seven days i don't i don't know now i'm panicking i don't know when i got it oh like no i got it on saturday night and now it's thursday i don't think i'm if i do it i think it'll it'll get it'll be bad do i have to exfoliate or something you want to re-spray do i

36:09Hannah Berner: Or do you feel like you're tan? I'm going to be honest. My L.A. tans, I feel like last 10 days. So you'll only be at 7. Okay.

36:18Paige DeSorbo: What happens if you spray too early? Like what other girls have to be aware of?

36:23Hannah Berner: What do you mean spray too early? Spray too early like for an event?

36:25Paige DeSorbo: Like you sprayed yourself and then it's only been like 6 days but you want to be tanner.

36:31Hannah Berner: Well, from the minute you get your spray tan, like that next day you really have to like Like, moisturize a lot. Drink a lot of water. It's all, if you stay hydrated and moisturize, your spray tan will stay.

36:42Paige DeSorbo: What the, why is water, like, I feel like that's big water.

36:45Hannah Berner: And you can't really, like, shave your legs. Oh, my God. But you don't have to worry about that. Sorry.

36:55Paige DeSorbo: Wow, that really got you. That really got me. Because, the truth, never crossed my desk. i've never been like oh no i shaved accidentally i have a spray tan after this pod but last night

37:11Hannah Berner: i knew i was going to be rushing so i exfoliated last see men don't have to deal with this shit so that i could just rinse really quick when we get off the pod then get my spray because i have

37:21Paige DeSorbo: to wash my hair it's a woman and stuff i have a question for you it's all thing yeah i went to Pura Vida with my mom and it was really busy but there was like one table open and I was gonna have one of us sit at the table while the other ordered because that's like what you do and I am going to sit someone just left their phone on the table to reserve the table that I think that's crazy I think that's crazy

37:52Hannah Berner: Yeah I also

37:54Paige DeSorbo: She had like a little attitude That's crazy She was right ahead of us It was like She was the only person Ahead of us And us So I knew it was her phone And she didn't even Like look back She just like left her phone On the table And was just standing there Like that's my table Gen Z No

38:08Hannah Berner: Millennial

38:09Paige DeSorbo: I would say like millennial Yeah She's one of us Wow And so what'd you do I let her have it But it would be funny If I just sat down and start texting i don't know i don't know i'm trying to think if i would say i don't think i

38:26Hannah Berner: would say anything but i would be like that's like i wouldn't have you know what i have started doing if we're in a situation and i'm holding the door for you because i just walked out of the door or like you're coming whatever and anything like that if you don't say thank you to me i'm saying you're welcome like this little stuff like that like really pisses me off like today i was walking out of a door and i like held it for the lady like coming in but i like had a suitcase and stuff so like it inconvenienced me to hold the door for you but i'm a normal person and so like when she walked in and didn't say anything i literally was like oh no you're so welcome you literal fucking bitch i mean i didn't say literal fucking bitch but i did say like nope i got it you're so

39:19Paige DeSorbo: welcome and i kept walking exercise drinking water is important you have to let it out somewhere

39:25Hannah Berner: or they're cursing out old lady if i want to snap i'm gonna oh really bitch now i'll slam this goddamn door on you you're not gonna say thank you to me i almost went off on the plane because i was looking around at the three guys because my bag was so heavy when i was taking it down i I banged.

39:43Paige DeSorbo: Oh, I love doing that. Being overdramatic when it falls down.

39:46Hannah Berner: Well, I wasn't even trying to be dramatic. Okay. I literally like dropped it onto the thing and then it like fell onto the floor. And I looked around at the three men and I said, so sorry. I'm so loud.

39:57Paige DeSorbo: You should have fell on it. Like you could have fucking helped me. You should have fell on it and just laid there like a damsel in distress.

40:04Hannah Berner: I literally, I wanted to be like, and you're not lonely enough.

40:08Paige DeSorbo: I would be so pissed if I was you because look, at the end of the day, I am strong looking like someone, a guy doesn't do it. I'm like, Oh, he thinks I'm really strong. But if I was you, I'd be like, Oh, you hate women.

40:19Hannah Berner: I'm wearing a cashmere duster. I can't.

40:24Paige DeSorbo: Hello. And it's crazy. Cause I would never let you even lift it when we were on tour.

40:30Hannah Berner: I'm in ballet flats. Get my bag.

40:34Paige DeSorbo: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Also.

40:37Hannah Berner: So anyway,

40:37Paige DeSorbo: when you pack, you love cases like you love little cases you pulled out a pouch that was for ants like what are you putting in like the little pouches that you have you had a pencil the pencil case oh i'm my pouch in my pouch well your pouch is pouch your kangaroo well here's the thing i love

41:00Hannah Berner: a pouch set so i love a pouch that goes in a pouch and i do have this little like long It looks like a pencil case. Yeah, you're right. It looks like a pencil case pouch. I put my medicines in there. And by my medicines, I mean my emergency UTI medicine and my beta blockers, which I'm going to just say this first and foremost. I'm seeing a lot of beta blockers slander on the internet, and I'm not having it. I'm not having it. Beta blockers do not make you out of it. Groggy. Out of it. They don't make you. You can't get high off of a beta blocker. You would die before you got high off of the beta blocker.

41:39Hannah Berner: You're like, I've tried.

41:39Paige DeSorbo: It doesn't have any effects.

41:40Hannah Berner: It's not an SSRI. It does not affect your brain whatsoever. It takes away physical symptoms. It's for your heart. I will not listen to beta blocker slander from anyone. And if I do, I'm calling Mr.

41:56Paige DeSorbo: Beta Blocker. Mr. Blocker. You won't be hearing from him directly. We have a rapport.

42:02Hannah Berner: C-senest. I'm going to call the cops. I'm going to call the cops. I'm going to call the cops.

42:11hi this is hey me again um real quick you want to know what though i did have the wherewithal

42:21Hannah Berner: to know that it wasn't an emergency and you call like the actual local police not 9-1-1 is that 3-1-1 no you like look up like a real number 3-1-1 is like who's that i thought it was 4-1-1 and is that even a thing anymore? That used to be like information. What's the 411?

42:39Paige DeSorbo: You could call 411 and be like, what's the number to give it to you?

42:44Hannah Berner: Yeah. Should we try it right now? Is that a thing still? I'm going to try it right now. 411.

42:51Paige DeSorbo: We're unable to complete your call.

42:53Hannah Berner: Okay. But you used to be able to call 411 and be like, can I have the number to blah, blah, blah restaurant on this street? and they would give it to you.

43:05Paige DeSorbo: Not to age us, but do you remember when there were telephones on the street?

43:10Hannah Berner: Like, I thought you were going to say telephone operators and I was like, no, Hannah, I'm not a hundred and fucking five. Oh, like, what are they called? Payphone. A payphone. I remember it vividly. You know, I never used one though. Like, I've never been inside of one to like use it.

43:25Paige DeSorbo: I feel like we just use it. You would have loved it. It's the best for prank calling. I would have loved it. It's literally made for prank calling.

43:31Hannah Berner: There's a new thing. I know we're like totally against chat GPT but there's this new thing going around on TikTok that people are asking chat like from everything you know about me from talking to me can you tell me what fictional character I'm most like and I kind of want to do it but also I appreciate the environment and I don't need to know the answer to that question but also just know that I want to know so bad when the hotter months come around I like to go a little bit lighter with my makeup because I just sweat it off it feels icky and honestly all I want to do is wash it off but with Jones Road they have this miracle balm that truly is the best whenever I get anything from Jones Road my mom immediately wants to take it so I've ended up just ordering double their miracle balm just gives you this effortless glow and it's for when you don't really want to do a full face of makeup but you still want to look presentable and it just goes for every step of the day.

44:29Hannah Berner: It's perfect in the morning if you're going to a workout class or running to work late and you just want to look alive like you rested. It's also great in the summer whenever you're going to be in the pool or at the beach. It's just the perfect sun-kissed glow and it's just enough makeup. For a limited time our listeners are getting a free gift on their first purchase when you use code Giggly at checkout. Just head to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code Giggly. And since we did just put you on, when they ask you where you heard about them, please tell them Giggly Squad sent you.

45:00Paige DeSorbo: This episode is brought to you by O-Pill, the first over-the-counter daily birth control pill available in the U.S. And let's be real, getting a prescription for birth control is not always easy. About one in three women face barriers to accessing prescription birth control. Between scheduling appointments, missing work, a class, just trying to exist, it's a lot. But now O-Pill's putting birth control in our control making it easy accessible and honestly pretty empowering opil is a daily birth control pill that's fda approved full prescription strength and estrogen free it's 98 effective when used as directed and the best part you can grab it online or at most major retailers no prescription or doctor's appointment needed just you your schedule and your choice so if you're thinking about birth control check out opil to see if it's right for you use code giggly g-i-g-g-l-y for 25 off your first month of opill at opill.com that's code giggly at o-p-i-l-l.com birth control in your control we love to see it someone wrote a really funny video and they were like chat gbt to a deadbeat dad you're really busy and that's why you're trying your best but you can only be in so many places at once and that's why it's okay if you don't see them for a while and that's why all the men are like so behind ai oh my god so anyway also have you seen like it's enough us compares comparisonizing us to like

46:32Paige DeSorbo: you just we are such a married couple you got so excited to correct me you lit the fuck up you were

46:38Hannah Berner: like compare a size what do you even but usually i know when you're joking what are you even trying to say what was that oh okay but you know when you're comparing yourself yeah to like women with

46:53Paige DeSorbo: facetune women with bbls women in general just comparing each other now we have to compare ourselves to ai girls i tapped out because there's this whole trend of ai girls at baseball games and it's like look at this hot girl at a baseball game and it's like an ai gorgeous girl watching the mets or something and that's like trending i actually tapped out when only fans became a thing

47:18Hannah Berner: i said i actually no longer can compete and have the best time ever but i can't compare myself to all these girls on the internet you would go crazy that's why you got to just stay in your own lane baby you gotta stay your own lane also everything on the internet is fake i've talked to a lot of people everyone's had you know i've done some inventory this week too no one's no one's aligned no one feels aligned um i'm like you're all your or is all out of whack i've done some control groups people are not happy also everyone's on ozempic so also i just got my period and my stomach hurts i got mine on sunday i'm actually almost done but i got mine early you know it's so annoying but when i am healthier i get my period early and like regular it's annoying i'm so sorry well i ate a lot of vegetables i felt like this month and my period was like yeah thanks the gigglers want to know now that windbreaker gate has settled yeah did i ruin

48:26Paige DeSorbo: the windbreaker for you so that you can no longer actually wear it and i should just keep it have it

48:36Hannah Berner: or i know you love that windbreaker you love it why because it goes with like your hair color like it's so like you're coloring no but i just want to know did i ruin it for you no i actually almost wore it out to dinner last saturday night but then i decided not to go but in my head my outfit because it was raining it was memorial day weekend what was better than

48:57Paige DeSorbo: a windbreaker i was like oh my god i'll wear a windbreaker out to dinner but then i was like you know what i decided i'm not i feel happy because i started to feel bad that i ruined it for you and i made it about me and that's not the kind of friend i want to be hannah oh my god you're

49:11Hannah Berner: so annoying because here's the thing about me and you know this i love an outfit and i love an outfit that gets seen so i've seen this i've looked at this windbreaker 8 000 times on the internet so the fact that she's having her own moment she's gone viral she's gone to so many events

49:30Paige DeSorbo: she's seen so many different things like i'm like so excited but i'm happy for her like that's why

49:36Hannah Berner: i love clothes i'm like let them see the world you know i have an emotional connection to her

49:42Paige DeSorbo: good good no you didn't ruin it for me so we have kind of an exciting weekend no we have a very exciting weekend what are we presenting yeah we're presenting at last culturistas which you've been

49:54Hannah Berner: to before i haven't yeah it's so fun remember last year i was like i haven't had fun in years

50:00Paige DeSorbo: so much fun and and you wore a hat that looked i wore a hat really good well i just feel like

50:07Hannah Berner: when something is hosted by the gays I don't get stressed about my outfit because I'm like they're fun and they're like they're like go for it and do whatever and it's fun and be yourself

50:18Paige DeSorbo: so it's like so much less stressful I think I'm gonna wear um a schmata I don't know what that it's like a bandana it's like you know in Italy when they you're in a convertible and you put a yes but I don't know if my head shape can pull it off and I'm kind of nervous now how are you trying to tie it are you trying to tie it like like around and back like you're in a

50:42Hannah Berner: convertible in the 1950s are you trying to do like because it would hide my double chin and if i wear

50:48Paige DeSorbo: sunglasses then it's like really cunt but then i also could look like an egg but then if i wear it like on my forehead like normal bandana yeah like going to the pool that could that could be a little

51:00Hannah Berner: try hard so i'm a little stressed well it all depends on your outfit we'll deal with it

51:07Paige DeSorbo: well you're stressed now you're like

51:11Hannah Berner: do you like your outfit yeah i love my okay so you're good actually you're fine you have

51:17Paige DeSorbo: you have the capacity i have no anxiety okay good and we're presenting and i feel like i read the teleprompter at amas because it was like network tv yeah you're reading it also here what if i

51:30Hannah Berner: I forget to read how to read. This is also network television. This is also going to be on Peacock.

51:36Paige DeSorbo: Is that network? What's a Peacock?

51:38Hannah Berner: It's NBC. Okay. I'll be good. I'll be good. You know what's interesting? Like who said like, oh, you know what? The perfect thing for our news station is a Peacock. Who would put the word cock? Like that is so crazy. Like sometimes I don't even like saying Peacock because I hate saying the word cock. I think it's so vile and disgusting and it's like it's harsh.

52:04Paige DeSorbo: Someone was saying how like white guys love saying cock.

52:08Hannah Berner: No, I hate the sound of it. Like I think the word cunt is so much more palatable. Oh, 100%. Than like I. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't say it either.

52:18Paige DeSorbo: I actually don't think I can finish.

52:19Hannah Berner: Like men say it like it's like when they're having sex, like sexually.

52:24Paige DeSorbo: Like I think because it makes it sound bigger than dick.

52:28Hannah Berner: and they need to overcompensate dick is like cock's little brother well if you don't have

52:34Paige DeSorbo: confidence and you just say dick it it can it could seem short but if you say cock it sounds longer cock sounds like you're sucking someone's dick when you know this took a turn someone was like this was such a nice pod about television and that was because i always think about that

52:55Hannah Berner: I'm like that's weird like anytime there's like something sexual that's like there is like an undertone of sexual something sexual or like inappropriate I don't like that we're like it

53:09Paige DeSorbo: there shouldn't be yeah it's like either be direct and say what you're trying to say also just men can't be dirty girls are allowed to be dirty men can't I just don't want men naming

53:21Hannah Berner: things yeah you know like who came up with the word like oh our brand is a peacock like no that's weird i feel like no shade no hate no shade i know someone some giggler at nbc is like okay had a long week coming also it's crazy that they got that um like nothing else's names peacock there's some peacock fucking walking around being like okay that's my name you can't take it for your freaking thing also everything's gonna be owned by everything eventually

54:06Hannah Berner: no literally this is why you can't ever get high you're high like that is such a high person and one day everything will be owned by everything.

54:19Paige DeSorbo: Paige calls me high as a kite and I'm like, holy shit, we're on the same wavelength right now. And we talk for two hours. Like, right. Okay, I'm going to actually tell you something I wrote down. Not high because I'm scared of smoking. That like if you were high right now, you would be able to vibe with me. I wrote dating is just auditioning, but you don't want to be too good of an actor that is so high

54:50Hannah Berner: and like i see where you're going one time i wrote down i saw this the other day and i was like you fucking idiot i wrote down the craziest thing

55:05Paige DeSorbo: hi hold on if the pros outweigh the cons you still have to deal with the cons

55:16Hannah Berner: and you were like genius and i was like why do we even do pros and cons like

55:23Paige DeSorbo: you still have to deal with those that is anyway oh my god i'm like sweating that was so funny also um rowan is brook shield's daughter who's my friend name drop she's really wait i'm obsessed with that she's gonna be on bravo's um next gen she did the funniest tiktok about trying to understand when they first try to explain how health insurance insurance works to you like have you been in your job like your first job where they're like okay this is the health insurance and then they say the word deductible and no matter how many times you try to ask about what it means no one knows what it means and like no one's ever said that word to me in my life like how did i go 25 years without hearing the word deductible and then it's just you like get scared and then you start checking off boxes you shouldn't check how did we get here wait what the hell

56:19Hannah Berner: what the hell does rowan on next gen nyc have to do with health insurance she she did a video

56:26Paige DeSorbo: about it so it's gonna be your credit oh and it made me laugh oh i'm like wait you are everyone

56:33Hannah Berner: needs health insurance no my mom has tried to explain it to me since i turned 26 and i'm like that was so scary when you turned 26 yeah also what a random age also deductible literally just

56:44Paige DeSorbo: made up to confuse people so that we would pay insurance companies and not know why do you

56:49Hannah Berner: remember like being in your early 20s and saying what if i just didn't have health insurance and

56:55Paige DeSorbo: everyone's like you must yeah and you're like okay but i don't know what it is and they were like eye doctor and i'm like my eyes are good they're like then why would i pay that i'm always at

57:06Hannah Berner: urgent care so like i am like the number one candidate of like i know i actually need health insurance because if i feel like something's wrong i'm calling some type of professional and making an appointment see i'm like a man like i'll be like you're like an old italian woman

57:22Paige DeSorbo: literally like i have a little thing on my back and des is like that's cancer and i'm like only time will tell that's no no like i don't know how i came out of my anxious italian mom's vagina

57:37Hannah Berner: know so chill about my health care you're type a and type b you're like a combination because i'm a virgo and stuff like that you're very type yeah like i actually probably have had moments where

57:50Paige DeSorbo: i'm like i should go to urgent care but i don't want to talk to the person at the front like i don't know what they might ask me for something that i don't have and i don't know if i could

57:58Hannah Berner: deal with that before i like knew really knew urgent care was like a thing i would just like

58:02Paige DeSorbo: go to the ER and my mom would be like stop going to the ER I'd be like something's wrong there was

58:11Hannah Berner: actually in fact something wrong I had a cyst on my ovary that no one could figure out so like I would drop to the ground like walking down the streets of New York City and I'd be like no I'm going to the emergency room why am I falling to the ground that's so iconic though they're like maybe you shouldn't be wearing 10 inch heels but oh my god um anywho is there anything else that we

58:37Paige DeSorbo: forgot to cover there's a martin short documentary i think everyone should watch on netflix oh i saw the advertisement on netflix he's so freaking adorable he's so adorable a short man that i actually like actually the only short man that i like good for him he's actually a short king

58:54Hannah Berner: Actually, I did watch the first 10 minutes. I just remembered and I fell asleep. Stanley Tucci's second season of his like travel cooking show is out. And it's. Let me tell you something. That man. Yeah. That man's aura. Like, OK, he's a perfect example of a man that I'm like. Or maybe it's just because he's European. Like, I don't want to say that he's gay. like but he there's like certain feminine things but i'm like no i think it's hot

59:29Paige DeSorbo: do you think anyone calls him stan yeah well that's his name i don't know i feel like he's one of the guys that's like it's stanley wait stanley it's stan have you ever met like a like

59:41Hannah Berner: like you meet like a chris and he's like it's christopher and you're like okay you fucking loser no one has time for three fucking syllables or like a like if someone was like it's michael

59:51Paige DeSorbo: i'm like how about you shut the fuck up like you know my brother's been daniel because my dad was dan or danny that's different there's another person with the same but you know what's really cute he went to like work for the first time and i met one of his co-workers and they were like oh you're dan's sister and i said who so he went to work and he had people call him dan he like rebranded no he rebranded without telling us and i was like you mean daniel and they're like dan and i'm like oh you think you're a grown-up that's cute no i know he didn't even tell us

1:00:22Hannah Berner: anyway my name's han from now on all right well this was an amazing episode i'm not gonna be as

1:00:29Paige DeSorbo: fired up next time you were freaking jacked up hell yeah and then we're so happy with the feedback from our live show episode of Mindy and Kate and Brenda. It was so fun.

1:00:42Hannah Berner: I'm obsessed with Mindy Kaling like on another level.

1:00:45Paige DeSorbo: I mean, well, she, you guys are literally the same person.

1:00:47Hannah Berner: It was freaking me out.

1:00:49Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. Okay. I got to go text Kate Hudson, but I love you so much. And gigglers, thank you for giggling with us. We love you. Bye.