Giggling about surprises, smuggling, and sponges

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0:53Hannah Berner: Let me tell you about Spa Weekend, the hilarious new film from the directors of Bad Moms and the writers of The Hangover, four lifelong best friends, are desperate for a break. So they book a weekend away to relax and reconnect. Turns out, though, self-care can get pretty messy. Starring Leslie Mann, Isla Fisher, Michelle Buteau, and Anna Faris, Spa Weekend is the wildly funny getaway you and your besties deserve. Spa Weekend, only in theaters August 21st. Sup, gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

1:32Hannah Berner: I mean, the day just got away from me. Hello, Gigglytroners. Gigglytron. Like, Transformers. Gigglytron. I have something in my eye, and it's actually a problem. Okay, you could have dealt with this the entire morning. It just happened. Is it? Okay, someone needs to blow on it. It's definitely a kitty hair. That kitty! no that's a love hair and she wants to be inside your brain okay are you gonna do this the whole pod no open your eyes during the pod one eye just starts veering are you crying um wait i was so excited to get on the pod too and tell our story and then i ruined it so classic you're like my eye hurts you know every time you're like every time you're really excited for something and then it has universe just it ends up being the worst i was so excited to go to italy this summer and like cool it ended up being a net positive die in a hotel room also the word that we can't stop saying is kibosh no you can't but you started saying it subconsciously because i was saying it I'm like, I want to kibosh this.

2:50I'm kiboshing this. The universe is kiboshing that.

2:54Hannah Berner: So yesterday, I don't know if you're on the side of TikTok where it was like the craziest manifestation day, just like in astrology, one of the craziest days we've ever had in the world. And of course, it's Hannah's birthday. Cheers. So all day, I'm like feeling I'm like, I didn't even send Hannah something to her house for her birthday. Like, I didn't even try and make a plan with her. I'm a horrible friend. And I didn't text you any of this because I'm like, let her have a day. But I'm like, wow, I like feel bad. Well, you called me at 830 a.m. Yeah. After yelling at me for calling you at 830 a.m.

3:31the day before to talk business, you called me at 830 to tell me about manifestation.

3:36Hannah Berner: And I believe business called you to wish you a happy birthday. And then I called back with gossip. Oh, yeah. And you gave me like local gossip. I gave you local hometown gossip. And so I feel like. Which is top tier. That's a birthday gift. You were like, what are you doing for your birthday? And this is the tea guys. Can I tell like, can I tell all the details? Yeah. Paige's significant other. Texted me and was like, we haven't gotten dinner. All four of us in a while. Like we should just like celebrate. Which like. Cute. no but i mean i love like so cute but i'm i was like when did you do that he's like look i'm so sick of all the alone time i've been spending with page i need a little i'm drowning and this is this is me asking for help she really um gets lit up with life when she's around you and i really prefer that side of her actually the other day joe did say to me like like i know you think i'm funny but like I know you don't think I'm like as funny as Hannah or something and that's how it starts that's how it begins the next thing you know I have to fight a man I'm like she's my best friend he's like no the way you light up when she walks into it no actually the way I get giddy for you does is like calm down I'm like but that's my who doesn't get excited when they see their best friend like that if you don't get excited when you see your best friend get a grip well you posted like um on instagram like happy birthday to my life partner or something and i was really wanted to text it to joe and then i was like actually let's not stir up drama my birthday let's not start this is the new me the new me is like i think of what i would do because i think it's funny and then I'm like no need no and that's maturing but he's so sweet he literally was like we haven't seen you the four of us gotten together this summer like yeah what and I go you know it's crazy my birthday is next week yeah should we get together for my birthday and he was like yeah and we I don't know who came up with it but I was I think I was like let's surprise page and we suddenly get so excited and then i i leave my phone and i'm like wait for my birthday yeah i'm going to the city to surprise page which is the most giggly squad coded like no one else understands and i'm like this is us this is what we do and of course 10 minutes before we're going to dinner i'm dressed i'm ready i like blew out my hair put makeup on 10 minutes before i'm like what if we didn't go he texted me she's trying to get out of it and i go i knew this would happen like clockwork i was like five four three two there's the text i said don't fucking let her don't like what did he do to make sure you'd go he was just like what no we're going and i was like okay and i and then i kept being like we could have gone someplace closer i'm also like it's a wednesday night what are we what are we 25 i'm like what are we i'm like it's a school night okay backtracking i am really bad at lying yeah like i think i'm decent at lying to make people feel better like being like you can do white cordial normal human lies yes everyone can do like oh my god you look amazing yeah you're human you have control over your emotions yeah but that i have empathy i'm an empath but um in the morning i wasn't like never thought about like that i'd have to lie to you because i was surprising you that night but you go what are you doing tonight for your birthday and i hadn't had a pre-planned lie and i was like hubba hubba like i started being like and you're not paying attention i'm like i actually don't care you're like i don't care i'm hanging up and i was like oh and then i was like doesn't i doesn't i gonna go somewhere in south hampton for dinner and you were just like okay no i do remember you saying south hampton i was like okay and i remember getting off the phone being like phew got her

7:56then we get in the car to head to new york city because we're in west hampton all to surprise page by the way my birthday and i'm so excited i'm like she's gonna be so happy like she has no idea i'm texting joe we're so into i'm like i'm on the road this is a big trip by the way it's like two hours to get into the city on my birthday i realized i have a business call and normally business calls are like zooms and i'm like fuck she's gonna see i'm in a car and she's gonna wonder why i'm in the car and i'm like no she's not she's never wondered any of these things but we got on the call it's not zoom i'm like thank god so i don't have to lie to four people i was sweating at that point meanwhile you're just going about your skincare routine

8:37Hannah Berner: literally living my life honestly i couldn't figure out what to wear so i also wanted to cancel like i was like i'm not going like i can't am i wearing shorts like what am i doing joe's only job was to physically get you into the car yeah but this is where i almost messed up page and i share each other's location which we just started doing yeah because when you were in italy i just like kind of wanted to know yeah i love glancing at where my friends are yeah i was like is she in the water right now like is she i mean you didn't move for two weeks actually one of my girlfriends i like just checked and she was in sardinia and i texted her and i was like send me pictures of your outfits like i didn't even know you were going no having your friend's location so fun um so but now i don't remember this being like that but on imes i message i'm whatever iPhone I'm a grandma it says the person's name and then like in big letters underneath it says where they are yeah so I'm in the city I was going thrifting I was having fun like a city girl so did you leave for the city right when we got off the phone like in the morning I did um where I couldn't really smile and then that didn't go well and then I jumped in the car at like noon okay so i'm in the city and then obviously something came up to my head that i wanted to text you yeah so i texted you and then i was like fuck like i thought you were gonna get the text and immediately just see hannah burner new york new york and i was like you fucking ruined it like i was so mad at myself first of all you didn't respond for like two hours and you were like okay and i was like oh thank god she doesn't care one i didn't even see i I didn't even look at your location.

10:30Hannah Berner: And two, even if I did see New York, New York, I'd think nothing of you. That's your home. How dare you cross the county lines without telling me. So this is where it gets good. Now it's like game time. Like I've been waiting all day for this. It's like I'm getting ready and I'm texting Joe and I'm like, when you guys leaving, like, do you want me to be there? And then you guys walk in like we didn't think about this stuff. yeah or like what's the better surprise and he's like i'll go in first we sit then you come in and then i realized i have your location so i'm fucking tracking you me and des are parked outside the restaurant wow i feel like no one's ever tracking me that is so nice i'm always tracking tracking tracking also i'm never early for anything but i was like i cannot fuck up this surprise because i was like dilly-dallying per usual so we get there early i'm like okay she's four blocks away they're through oh they got in traffic they're at a stop sign des watches you guys come out we're literally stealth and i'm texting him then joe gets to the front and he's by the way texting me the entire car ride yeah and you know i at one point i was like hello and he was like sorry i'm sending like a really important email and i was like okay so i was on tiktok you didn't say a him the cold car ride again i don't care i don't care about anything i turn to des and i go i just have to say a little disappointed page i go she goes around the internet being like i'm russia i'm russia i keep tabs on my man i keep tabs my man bitch i've been texting your man all day and you didn't know shit where's this russia what what are you talking about i was in his dms we were key keying because at first i was like she's on his shit she's gonna immediately like read it off his ipad or something nope nope you had no fucking clue bro in no clear game i'm like i don't give a shit i thought that like immediately you text me and be like one i see you texting my man two i see this plans you made tonight three i don't want to go out tonight four leave me alone so i'm sitting at the table joe gets up and he's like i have to go to the bathroom which actually i was like you never have to go to the bathroom at a restaurant like i did think that but i didn't think anything oh is that not his that's so funny people are either restaurant bathroom people or some people never do you're right no and if anything it's at like the end of dinner i've never whatever so he goes to the bathroom and i'm just like sitting there the waiter comes over like why am i here puts like puts like water down i'm looking at the menu and then I look up and rounding the corner is Hannah and Des and my face I was like so excited like I hadn't seen you in years you don't know it almost got ruined because your man was giving me a play-by-play he gets to the front he goes oh my god they just asked me what my guests names are again I wasn't listening no so then I'm like we're fucked we're fucked like this is like what is he gonna say so i'm like turning to des i'm like we should go back home this this hasn't worked okay you know what do you remember anything were you alive so a girl walked in she's wearing these zebra shorts and i thought i love a zebra was it me but i didn't love the top she was wearing it with and i was like this is like such an interesting top to pick with it so i'm in my own head looking at this girl's outfit i had no i had you were fighting some demons yeah i was not paying attention at all to the girl up at the front my thing is i'm so impressed that he was having full-on conversations also texting me what the conversations were like he was on it and then he's also texting like this is fun like on the side like the man was texting and i'm like this girl wait the best part was then like when we sat down hannah was like i was texting joe all day like you had no idea and when we were in the elevator he was texting and i glanced over at his phone hello i'm alive and i saw a kiss face emoji and in my head i was like clock it because when i get home so she looks at me she goes you did send him a kiss face emoji i go never send him a kiss face emoji and i looked at him so then after the dinner we get in the car he texts the screenshot because the man needed receipts he was scared he was scared yeah good shaking in his boots and it was him to his dad yeah it was his dad to him yeah oh his dad to him because you have to see what side of the phone it's on is it him is it you is it yes yeah is it the blue is it the incoming i do feel like me and you are actually very easy to surprise because we're busy totally i love when people do stuff to me they're like you didn't even tell i'm like i have sorry i have a job also here's the thing about me i'm not asking a follow-up so like if you say hey i'm here i'm like great i have a great time there do what you have to do whilst there doesn't have any impact on me when it was my birthday and the kids were here like last week des disappeared for like two hours and you guys are gonna be the funniest parents no i didn't think anything of it i think at one point i feel like at one point you're gonna be in the bathroom calling me like i'm hiding from my family no does disappeared and then i think my mom says something like do you know where des is and i was like nope and then he called me it was like checking in and i was like what are you up to and he goes running errands and i was like okay hang up the phone he was going all the way to this place snowflake um in long island it's the best ice cream place in the world anyway come back everyone was like we can't believe that that he got it past you so easily i'm like that man could do anything behind my back i wouldn't know right he's i'm doing errands in the middle like this doesn't do errands like i didn't even ask a follow-up question i was like cool don't care hang up cool don't care bye that's why he has a second family yeah i know he's he's busy with the second family i'm not asking follow-up questions so everyone's like he got you and i'm like no he didn't because i didn't want to look into it if i looked into it i would have known the longitude and latitude of snowflake like i didn't care about snowflake do you know how many things going on in my head at a given time and i also have to worry about my husband i don't have time for that i don't even need to see the phone if i get a gut feeling i'm leaving actually you're so right when you say you're russia it's more it's the vibes it's more the vibe it's the vibe it's a lot of fur it's a no tolerance policy vibe it's we don't need proof we decided it in our head guilty not guilty see ya and that's really what i want to portray now do we have great espionage of course of course but that's expensive no i literally walked and i was like you dumb bitch you can't even keep your man on lock i've been talking to your man happy birthday to me no and then the other best part of it was we like told stories about my dad for like 15 minutes well we realized that des does an incredible gary impression didn't know it actually stopped me dead in my tracks i said i thought my dad was there but does is weird that way he'll watch like one tv show and be able to like play all the characters it's like it's his own fun it keeps it keeps things spicy in our relationship what we realized is that both our dads can't keep their mouth shut keep their mouth shut and how like when you have a secret about yourself or something going on the moms keep it locked it's the dads that like dads have these like weird group chats they like to say stuff too like my dad is a gossip no my dad has fully started rumors about me and within our own family for sure i'm like once you get to the bottom of it you're like from my own home we got a snake in here because dads they like to brag my dad also does this weird thing that like he's like giving you a compliment but he's like like mean about it like like okay here's like a kind of a good example but something that happened to me the other day which is just like so me and my family so I'm looking for this one specific top okay I'm like where the heck is this top I like just bought this top I know it should be on my recent purchase rack like I have a recent purchase rack and I know it should be there so I text Josephine I'm like hey any chance you've like seen this top this is what it looks like like this is the brand and she's like I haven't seen that top but like if I did it's here and so I like look where she said I love how that's Josephine's number one job is to tell you where certain clothes are every article of clothing that I have Josephine knows and she knows where it is it's actually really impressive so i'm like i can't find it whatever don't worry about it i'm like saying the saint anthony prayer i'm like let me call my mom maybe she took it home from italy and i'm not remembering i call my mom she's like i can't remember the top you have to like i don't know what top you're talking about and in the background my my dad goes kim you have the best memory you you should be able to remember come on you can't remember for he's like yelling at her but also like praising her and she's like I really can't remember like you have to send me a picture of it I find it online I send her a picture of the top and she goes you never ended up buying this top you tried it on and you thought it does nothing for you and I was like oh my god you're so right she's like you thought the sleeves were a quarter inch too long so you decided against it and you didn't have a good bottom that you felt would really match like i've seen how you guys talk and it's like she was like remember you tried the dress on after and you were like this is way better and more flattering and and i was like yes yes yes yes yes of course of course how could i never remember duh thank you kim someone was awake thank you i also love how gary's so invested in your like wardrobe drama beyond i'm the i'm gonna be so honest now that i'm like obviously in my 30s and you look at like marriages and relationships compared to like what you thought they were as a child yeah oh interesting yeah like growing up i remember asking my dad like when i was little do you love me more than mom by the way that's insane no that's crazy you're a scary child I'd say say it like me or mom leave one of us at home to die which one tell me now dad there's a building and it's burning and guess who's in it who are you saying I love you don't even bring up little Gary in this you're like I know he's not top two yeah not when we're talking to my dad Not in the lineup.

22:04Hannah Berner: Actually, not even top five. No, not in the lineup. And my dad would never say yes, and it would piss me off. He would always be like, no, you're like your mother's number one. Like, I love your mom. And my mom would be like, I'll throw him in front of a bus. Like, I love you guys ten times more than I'd ever even think about loving your dad. So that was like the norm. now that i'm an adult i feel like yeah my husband like i feel like i'm gonna love my children way more than like any man but i feel like my husband should be like that's my that's my day one do you feel like you appreciate your parents relationship so much more now that you know that like they're just two people dating yeah that have like made it work every year there are literally two kids that met at school like okay when i hear my parents like in the morning having their like morning gossip and coffee i'm like what are they fucking talking about it's been 30 years but i'm like so proud of them because i'm like that's huge like when you're little you're just like mom and dad are talking again now i'm like they're still talking think about the dead horses they've beat think about how much old material my mom has to listen to of my dad and she still thinks he's funny.

23:24Hannah Berner: Well, you know me and I'm so revenge is my whole being. And so like I will think about like people that didn't like my mom in high school. Like I have beef with you. If you have beef with my mom from 30 years ago, I have beef with you today. You know, when someone walks into a room and you're like, OK, she has something. It's confidence. It's that effortless put together energy. Honestly, a lot of time, it's the smile. Well, it doesn't happen by itself. There's chemistry behind the charisma. Colgate Optic White Pro Series toothpaste is clinically proven to remove 15 years of stains when you brush twice daily for only two weeks.

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28:05Oh, because of the heat?

28:07Hannah Berner: I think so, yeah. Oh, my God. You know the Italians are not handling this well. It's just like how much can we take? How much can we take as a society? It's too much. I know. Also, I was thinking about my dad and my outfits. The only thing is when I'd wear something skimpy, he would just be like, did you pay for the whole outfit? Like, I feel like Gary never said that to you when you wore something like. My dad would give an honest opinion. He'd be like, I've seen better. Or he'll be like, yeah, that's nice. Or he'll be like, that's it. That's sleek. He was like, it's giving like three years ago, Vogue.

28:46Hannah Berner: No, he has said things like, I feel like you've worn something like that. Last season. Me and my mom will go to him for an opinion. When her and I are stuck, we will go third party. Just to say. Sometimes a male perspective gives simplicity that you need because you've overthought it. And he's just given you the immediate response. I'm going to bring up something controversial now that we're talking about dads. Friend of the pod. Giggler. Brooks Nader. I have to say. So apparently she was topless in Italy. Was it Italy? Yeah. Topless in Italy with her dad and her family. and at first americans are very upset about this they're like this is weird is it kind of giving when you eat bread in italy there's no calories when you're topless in italy that's how everyone dresses it's giving one in italy you don't have to wear clothes i feel like i've been to a lot of parts of italy i don't think i've actually ever been seen i've maybe We've seen like two people topless.

29:57Hannah Berner: I love Brooks. I love the girls. I love the show. I love a girl's name that's plural. And it's just one person. I think she is like a very rare personality in this industry. Because I've met her a handful of times. And I can genuinely say I think she's a genuinely nice sweet person. So I feel like if there's things that people hate her over. I'm like I don't care. I like her. i'm gonna draw the line here oh but they're in italy i'm not gonna like not be her friend i'm gonna be like that's quirky and that's crazy hannah i could be dying i'm i'm never showing my dad my tits never not once i i'm not like picking a side here but i do think different families have different like different strokes for different folks yes i do think also like breasts in different cultures granted she is our culture but she's from louisiana breasts in louisiana if you think about it it's like men are shirtless all the time like some people are less about the nipples and maybe her and her sisters are like always topless they could be from a household there are households that are naked households yeah there's naked 100 there's naked households and also it's not like there's like brothers and sisters it's just sisters like I don't think I ever thought that we would get here on this pod, but like truly nothing surprises me.

31:30Hannah Berner: What's your relationship with you being naked and like your mom? Oh, we're naked all the time. Okay. Yeah. Same. Like I, my mom has seen my naked body. If my mom like was like, sorry, I'm changing. Can you get out of the room? I'd be like, where'd my mom go? Yeah. I go into my mom's bathroom, take all my clothes off, poop in her toilet, say sorry. It's interesting. Brooke Snader knows how to get press. I'll say that. Also, there's no other men in that household. That dad is probably so desensitized to women. Yeah. but still i i would argue i make one of the closest to my dad that yeah like of people i've met yeah i would die i'd actually shrivel up and die yeah yeah maybe there was some alcohol involved totally it's a bunch of sisters and a mom and but it is funny her dad like is alarmingly young looking no her dad's hot for sure he does look really young he looks like he's like in his like 37 yeah yeah he looks 37 but um yeah you brought it up earlier and i was like that didn't happen then i looked it up i'm like oh yeah also they're on a boat are there different rules when it comes to boats different rules when it comes to the mediterranean different route also it's hot totally it's hot not that she was wearing a big bikini to begin with probably i am not going to judge people that are in situations that i've never found myself in i think that's like a really important thing oh i'd love that to note like you know i could say what i might do you haven't walked a mile in her louis vuitton i haven't and so um things happen but i don't foresee that i don't foresee me being in that situation and choosing and choosing i also think in general like some people just like love being naked like yes then for example like you'll keep your top on during sex i know this totally it's not the main attraction when you're with me so like if you're buying tickets to this show you have to know you have to know who's starring in it and they're typically never starring sometimes they have a background role or they have a line or two but make a cameo if you're lucky but no one's gonna really talk about it afterwards they'll do the christmas special but you're probably not gonna see them for a couple months you know like they're you know they've never stolen the show but like they're more like production you know they've transitioned they're the director now they're like actually i didn't make it they're in between scenes the people wearing black that come in and take the chairs out to put in the other scene furniture there's a name for those people but we don't know that but as women in the arts we should oh god so anyway i'm hung over from yesterday no i had so much fun i had like 10 sips of a drink over three hours hungover well you and i chatted a lot it was one of those really good double dates where you and i really had alone time and then the men had like we're talking and that's my favorite kind what do you think they were talking about i have no idea i don't care i think it was like a golf it was a lot of golf we were getting into it we finish a thought and then we're like quick quick quick what's next on the docket what's next on talking and we both are like oh this this but it was just it's so i just feel so lucky that we as a foursome get along so well like it makes me really happy no and it's scary because i've accepted that like i might not like your significant other yeah and that i wouldn't cause drama i would just say whatever you're into yeah and we yeah yeah and so it is really um nice okay switching gears just a little because i've actually been watching it all morning so it's like on my mind i started watching real housewives of london which i i feel like there's no promotion for them when did it come out it's like episode five oh but it came out in london I think like a couple months ago.

36:01Is Caroline Stanbury in it?

36:04Hannah Berner: She has like a cameo, but she's not like one of the women. I don't even think she's like a friend of. No, not really. They fight about like contact lenses and like you borrow clothes. I don't borrow clothes. Like how dare you? And then it's like you got all your money from your divorces. Like it's very like you don't really care about their drama, but their outfits are amazing like they have and their homes are really beautiful they go to like the cotswolds and like all this like really british stuff yeah so it is really good but one of the dinners i don't know they were like doing like reality tv questions but one of the questions was like if your friend got arrested and you had no idea what it was for what's the first thought in your brain on why they got arrested.

36:56Hannah Berner: So I like immediately thought like, okay, Hannah gets arrested. What am I thinking? And my first thought was she drove into like a building. Wait, that's so weird. Like she accidentally drove into the yoga studio and she like literally didn't mean to. And then her foot slipped and then she was being a little hostile and resisting arrest. And they were like, you're drunk. And she's like, I'm not drunk. I don't have a drink. They're like, you're high. And she's like, I can't smoke. That's so funny because last night we left the restaurant and Des was like, I'm kind of tired. Like you drove 20 minutes the other day.

37:30Do you want to drive back? And I was like, first of all, I'm drunk. First of all, divorce. How dare you say that to me? He was like kind of joking. And he was like, you're drunk. And I'm like, I had six sips of Monaparol spritz. I'm fucking loaded right now. That's so unsafe. And he's like, oh, I would never ask you. I didn't know that you like. You weren't. You could have fully operated a vehicle. The way I drink, which is like so slow and I'm eating rapidly throughout. I feel like I'm I was like beyond sober.

38:02Hannah Berner: It was like the reverse. They're like, you're negative point three. And when you're getting in the nitty gritty of a gossip session, you lock in physically and mentally. That's so funny when you're like hammered at the club and then some drama arises and suddenly you're crystal clear. Yeah. You're crystal clear. You're alert. Yeah. um i know what you would get arrested for we talked about last night but something about smuggling a drug in an airport something regarding a weed pen and i'd be like get my girl out wait do you want to hear how fucking prude i am you ever like leaving a foreign country and they're like do you have you taken any like it lists a hundred things and one of it is like dirt or something i've never seen that like you like you can't take like things from the ground or something i didn't tell you my italy airport story with the tax free no okay did you miss it because i missed it when i was in france okay so when you're in a different country and you're checking out you can say like tax free and then when you're at the airport you'll get the money back i don't actually really know how it works but whatever i know that you get money back from something from some government somewhere yeah so whatever it's a fucking pain in the ass to save all the receipts because then when you get to the airport you have to scan every single one yes well you also you bought a lot i bought a lot and they say if you're gonna do it after tsa put it in your carry-on in case they ask to look for it if you're doing it before TSA you can just show it to them in your checked bag then check your bags now I like to do it after TSA because you get through TSA and you're like okay I'm few I'm gonna make my flight then you like you deal with all that doing it before is like kind of a logistical nightmare whatever would I get through now I have never in my travels put everything I've bought in my carry-on because never once have they ever asked me to see it this time I was like you know what I'm just gonna put everything I bought majority in my carry-on and then I have like a few things I'll put in my checked bag just in case like I did kind of buy a lot this year I get through TSA I go to like the scanner thing I'm scanning my stuff it says like see a agent like go to the desk the girl standing next to me was like oh i think it's over there no line amazing it's like a older woman i go up i'm like hey this is like my code it says come see the thing come see a person this is my receipt she goes come here like waves me into the little built or little office office she goes let me see all your stuff so i start taking everything you're like this is actually vintage from 2001 runway mark jacobs this is a rare polka dot pony hair she goes okay there's like a coat a coat i go okay it's not a coat it's actually it's actually like a wrap that you could totally i guess wear as a coat but I was thinking more over a dress and then wear it as a total outfit.

41:29Hannah Berner: You could wear it as a girl. She did not want to do any of it. I could tell she didn't want to do it. And I was missing a couple things. And right when we got to like the first thing I'm missing, I'm like, oh, it must be in my checked bag. Okay. I won't take the tax free for that item. Like, don't worry about it. I don't have it. I know that's against the rules, whatever. And she goes, no, I can't do any of it. and I'm like I'm like wait but I have the other stuff can you do the stuff I have and she's like now get out and I was like you just looked at all my stuff not one time did you say anything was cute okay never made a comment about my taste not a single comment now my tissue paper's all over the place I like have to get a bag of my bag I'm literally so upset traumatizing you got robbed no i got robbed and then i was like is this just like a scam that's like not well a hundred percent in a way because in theory everyone's like like when i went to paris for the first time and i finally got the balls to buy a bag and it was like so hard for me and i was like but you get like a certain amount off yeah at the airport so i go to the airport i go all the way through the airport i'm sitting at the gate and i go okay now let's figure out the tax situation and they were like no that's when you first walk in i'm like who the fuck yeah how the fuck i didn't i thought that was like once you're in i'm trying to check in when i'm there in italy you can go there's like a little place like right by our hotel you can bring all your tax reforms and they like do the initial thing for you so that when you get there you scan one thing and you're like good so i technically should have just been like good to go yep but so anyway i'm so sorry that happened to you but anyway i'm an idiot because i think i was actually young i think i was like 14 or 15 i was traveling for tennis and it had this big thing like no foreign soil do not bring foreign soil over the what and i literally freaked out to the person next to me and i was like i think i have dirt in my boots no you're insane also i don't think i've ever it's like a thing like declare like are people standing in line and be and like declaring things yeah or people be like i have a I have soil but I literally thought they were gonna be like you have some dirt under your shoe you're gonna have to come with me and I'd be like I need me to I'm not stealing it I think that's because there's like different diseases and plants and animals carry different things and you can't like that's how I am with police though like yesterday I'm just walking across the street in New York City about to surprise my friend for my birthday yeah and there was you know sometimes police cars stop i actually know there's like an illegal turn that people do and i think they were just trying to get people but i'm immediately like if i jaywalk right now am i about to be on the news like you can't go like a right on red in new york city yeah there is one of those but i'm not i'm walking and you know when like and the cops like watching you and then i'm like how did i ever use my hands when i walk i'm like do i look like i'm up to something like i get so in my head because there's always a rule that i didn't know about that they'll be like illegal you stepped on the crack yeah anyway i did drive i'm not driving from the city to the hamptons oh yeah so did you drive any of the way home or no it was also dark i was hammered have you ever driven in the dark no well no one talks about that like do you just go okay today's the day i'm driving in the dark well it is definitely a different experience but nowadays cars like automatically put the lights on for you yeah totally but then but i don't they don't automatically put like your high beams on sometimes you need your high beams wait do you remember like being with your parents in the car and them complaining about people having their is it called high beams or like they call blinker the brights having your brights on high beams like this fucking guy does his fucking brights on like that's all my childhood was was this fucking guy still has his brights on and i'm like there's no one and he's like oh fuck this dangerous his brights on yeah I used to get into a fight with my dad because in high school my car looked like it had like high beams on but it didn't And he'd be like you don't know how to work the car and I'd be like it's not I would get so annoyed You're like women can actually drive really well not my best friend but a lot of women It's actually feminist of me not being able to drive well to show like women can be multifaceted Do you feel like you are getting better though?

46:05oh for sure it's it was always like mental and like a confidence thing because once you drive enough you're like oh i'm not gonna just hit a tree yeah because i trust myself yeah you then

46:18Hannah Berner: start to like get places and when you get there you're you don't remember how you got there because you were thinking of other things while you drove there also this is embarrassing but like i it really makes me feel more adult like when you never drive you don't you're still like okay where's the adult to drive me places where now i'm like oh my god like i get out of the car i feel like a suburban teenager i'm like i just got my coffee like i'm independent i you know i did of course when i was driving to my blood test or whatever i i googled southampton animal shelter i go up five minutes away going there next i started making stops i was doing whatever i wanted honey it's a freedom oh also i got my food allergen results back not allergic to literally anything so it turns out just my head just bullshit you're just allergic to bullshit so what about your stomach i'm just a nervous nelly and i eat something and my stomach goes

47:18Hannah Berner: this off to college season save on college and save the every day i remember when i first got to college and i thought i was prepared i know everything that's happening i was so focused on my daily outfits and making sure I had the perfect aesthetic that I completely forgot about one major part of college and that's themed parties. Every other week there was some random theme night and I was always scrambling at the last minute trying to pull something together. Whether it was a costume, accessories, decorations, or something group theme, I somehow never had what I needed and I was constantly making a last minute purchase to save the day.

47:53Hannah Berner: College is already so chaotic enough and it's always the little things that catch you off guard. That's why I love Amazon makes off to college shopping so easy. So whether it's dorm essentials, school supplies, organizational items, or those last minute things you suddenly realize you need, Amazon has great deals, everyday low prices, a huge selection, and the convenience to help you get it all in one place. So remember with Amazon low off to college prices, just save on college, save the everyday. This episode is brought to you by Experian Boost. Red flag, he Venmo requests you for coffee. Green flag, he raises his FICO score with Experian Boost.

48:30Hannah Berner: Tell me if this sounds familiar. You've been paying your bills on time every month, your utilities, your phone, your rent, your insurance, but your credit score still doesn't reflect that effort. Kind of sounds like dating. That's the gap. Experian Boost was built to fix. Connect the bank account you use to pay reoccurring bills, choose which on-time payments to add to your Experian credit file, and your FICO score updates instantly. Boost your credit scores instantly because you should get recognized for the financial habits you already have. You could instantly raise your FICO score by an average of 14 points with Experian Boost.

49:07Hannah Berner: Download the Experian app for free today. Results will vary. Users who received a boost improved their FICO score 8 from Experian by an average of 14 points. See website, app store, or Experian.com for details. Results will vary. Not all payments are boost eligible. Users who received a boost to improve their FICO score rate from Experian by an average of 14 points. Some may not see improved scores or approval odds. Not all lenders use Experian credit files, and not all lenders use scores impacted by Experian Boost. See Experian.com for details. I was in search of the perfect vanity for my apartment, and when I mean perfect, I mean perfect for me.

49:41Hannah Berner: I wanted something that I could fit the actual seat that goes to the vanity underneath just to save space, and of course, I found it on Wayfair. You can find high-quality materials that stand up to real life. and you can shop furniture and decor that's built to last i've had this vanity now for going on three years and it is my favorite vanity ever it also came with a mirror that had a light built into it you can also shop with wayfair verified your shortcut to durable pieces hand vetted by product specialist using a 10 point quality inspection testing things like quality of materials functions and features with wayfair you can create a home you really love without overspending and there's real proof in their reviews because you can read more than 20 million verified five-star reviews from real shoppers and see real customer photos and feedback before you buy join wayfair rewards today to get five percent back on every purchase and start saving on your next home upgrade head to wayfair.com to shop all things home that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com wayfair Every style, every home.

51:17Hannah Berner: Tell listeners it only takes minutes to build an agent. So, minutes. Create your own AI agent today on Monday.com.

51:27Hannah Berner: I saw a thing on the internet and you talking about driving made me think of it. And it was this girl talking about, um, I actually think she was talking about, like, women wanting to live a soft life versus, like, and she was saying how, like, to live a soft life is, like, privilege. Whatever. That's not even, like, the part. Mm-hmm. but she was saying i saw you losing it like you were fighting for your life and i was like she's not gonna get it it's not to for her tongue it's gone it's never gonna be found

52:03i saw a girl talking about living life no no hannah what you're hung over too what did you drink yesterday the guy was like oh you got salt and sugar with salt and sugar on it

52:19Hannah Berner: i'm really in a spicy margarita kick okay i got it back she was talking about how freedom really the definition of like women having freedom is having multiple options and one of the things about being able to drive is at any point you can get you can go i'm like kids we're getting on the bicycle yeah like you need to you need to have an exit strategy at any time you need to know that you can go situations that i've been like well i can't get out because the uber is going to take 20 minutes so many situations in my life where i've been going somewhere doing something and i've had like a gut feeling and i'm like i'm actually gonna drive and then being and then something happening and me being like yeah see ya like i'm out of here nice to be able to be in a car and lock it there's a peacefulness to it the relationship you have by yourself in your own car no i've like met a new hand i'm like who are who is this yeah it's like a different meditative state it's so funny oh this is our mental health moment wait did your mom give you like different saint cards to like put in your car and like a rosary she's not as Italian Catholic as your mom.

53:37Hannah Berner: I'll tell my mom to send you some. Thank you. Because actually that would look really nice on my dashboard. And I like making eye contact with St. Anthony while I drive. Of course you need someone to keep you safe. But this is the thing about religion. If that gives you the confidence you need to feel calm on the road, then that's amazing. Amazing. And makes everything better. Mental health moment my mom was telling me because Bobby and Lois visited and Bobby within two weeks like his speech was getting so much better and my mom's like a little scientist woman in STEM and I don't know where she got this statistic but she was basically like when kids travel they have to like re-regulate and like they basically like retain information better because they're like in a new environment and they're just like a sponge and then it got me thinking about I feel like that's with adults too like me and you have both traveled more recently and being in a putting yourself in a different environment immediately makes you grow it's kind of like when you're in a new relationship like you come out of it and you're a more evolved person so i'm not saying we all have to go to fiji but i'm saying get on the train go to rockaway beach go somewhere and it really does change your mindset yeah even just go for a walk it really does reignite like your brain just to like rejiggle things I know it's not like the scientific way to say it but I just wanted to give that advice because I think it's true when you're like in the same routine every single day it might feel safe but I think it's also like keeps you stuck a little that's why you should break up with your boyfriends a hundred percent agree and I think like every couple months I feel like I do an activity that's like longer than like getting my nails done by myself, like outside of the home.

55:30Hannah Berner: And you feel better after you almost feel like more confident. Like, Oh yeah, I can go and like sit there by myself. Like one day I went to the beach all day by myself and that was like small, but I was like, no, I remember that day. I'm going to hang out by myself and do stuff. Cause you told me like four times you're like, Hey, on the beach by myself. Because I was like, do you want to come? to like i know i'm tracking you i know you've been there but i also think i like challenging my identity where like people used to know me as like oh hannah the girl can't fucking drive and i'm like what if what if one day i could drive you can't put me in a box anymore you don't even know who i i am anymore like my people from my past they don't know this hannah right fucking drive bro what are you gonna do is this a childhood trauma thing that you feel like you conquered not trauma i mean like a high school thing that you're like i never got my license well at first it was it was like a cocky new york city thing like people who liked not driving we loves being like yeah we're from the city of course you don't drive oh of course you don't where are we gonna park a car yeah where are you just like yeah we're from the city and then i went to wisconsin and i was like yeah i'm from the city i don't drive and then all my teammates would drive me everywhere because i had 10 teammates with cars and then it started to be a problem then it started being like it went from cool to oh you don't drive yeah yeah and also i grew up where like my nana didn't really drive my uncle didn't really drive so i kind of had this voice in my head like you might be like them like you just don't drive my mom doesn't really drive and she doesn't live in a city and that's why kim's like kim stopped driving like 15 years ago like she'll drive if she has if she has to get someplace but typically she's like call someone And she's like, drive me.

57:22Hannah Berner: And we do. I know plenty of people who drive that I'm like, maybe we shouldn't. No. And Kim is actually one of those people. And you know. Yeah. You know in your heart of hearts. Yeah. And she knows it too. And she knows it too. It's called self-awareness. Yeah. Update from last week. Talking about the wiggles. Yes. Apparently there's a hot wiggle. His name is John. Okay. I can tell he's tiny. But he's cute. He has a full family, like a kid and a mom and a wife. And a wife. And he does, like, he has his own, like, Wiggles page where he's, like, for the kids. And then he has another page where it's, like, does hot stuff.

58:06So he lives, like, a double life of, like, Insta-thought John and, like, hot dad. Like, he's, like, move my son. And he has, like, tattoos and stuff. And you can't do this. and then the other one's like oh i can't do an australian accent but he's like outback steakhouse wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle what's his wife like i think she's like very normal cool she's not a wiggle oh so he he married outside of the wiggle community in another life i was a wiggle i would love to be like i looked at their

58:45Hannah Berner: concerts it's fucking crazy the wiggles have really evolved since like i feel like i almost don't know what you're talking about a wiggles concert like is all these toddlers losing their fucking mind while the wiggles are like throwing props around and dancing and singing like it's the most fun concert i've seen in a long time you know who's pissed blues clues he's probably i was gonna say i put in the time i put in the work and i can't believe there's wiggles full-on wiggles concerts and like spin-off i can't believe the show's still even on okay i want to produce a documentary series that finds all those people from her childhood do you remember like miranda and the big clock or whatever yeah so it feels like a drug trip i'm like i see a blue sofa yeah Yeah, we talked about this one time.

59:38Hannah Berner: Yeah. Big comfy couch. Yes. Steve from Blue's Clues. I want to know everything about like how their life went and where they are now. Wait, remember they were going to do a part two of that Nickelodeon documentary and then they never did. Someone put the kibosh on it. No, I need the part two of that doc. No, yeah, that was super upsetting. All I know is shout out Raven Simone. I'm obsessed with her. She's like low key. The reason I got into comedy. wait i was just gonna say i see a lot of her podcast clips and she's very funny she's amazing yeah they're doing i think that's so raven reboot and i'm kind of pumped up i didn't hear that i mean everyone's going to the lizzie mcguire concert oh did you know that lizzie mcguire doesn't talk to her sister are you talking about hillary duff or lizzie mcguire same thing oh like her not her sister on the show her real life sister yes wait we didn't talk about sterling point it's on amazon what's what's a sterling point it sounds it sounds like a guy who bullied me in high school sterling point it's scripted it's set in canada it's set on this like gorgeous lake and the main girl is literally anne hathaway's daughter she actually played anne hathaway's daughter in another movie but i can't think of what it is i love how you're like it's a period piece because it's in canada she's kind of she's so beautiful oh it's r-rated is it it says raunchy oh no that was something else no it's that's off campus no this is like a high school like they're 17 you love a high school drama i love it the second it's in high school i'm like i can't all i think about when i watch these high school dramas is my mother didn't let me out of the house how are you guys running around doing all these things like experiencing all this mischief but i love it i love a high school maybe it's a canadian thing because there's like wilderness it's just so funny my mom was like please go to the party please go out and have some fun tonight and i'm like i haven't met tomorrow mom that is so cute i would be like if i go out and i come home at this time i could sleep for four hours also i received backlash last episode because i'm normally full of positivity and life and light and laughter yeah but i i had some critiques on the first episode of furious or maybe the first half of you yes people were they were like how do you lost the plot like it's a great show it's a great show do you have an update of how you recently felt about it okay well i just watched the fifth episode and there is a part that is very realistic though in life because she does like go back to her abuser and so i it made me upset okay that that's where they took it but i still stick by that i love that show i didn't get to the point where she had an abuser you didn't watch the show and then you're coming and you're and And we've given you this platform and this forum to speak positivity into the world and make a real change in the lives of women.

1:02:52Hannah Berner: And you come on this platform and you abuse it. Okay, let's not throw the A word around that often. And no, let's not. That's actually. If it is a story regarding abuse and stuff, I think it's important and should be watched. It is. It is a story regarding abuse. Not just hers. It's the larger picture is about human trafficking. okay oh shit so do you want to dial it back okay i apologize it by yourself you can't watch it with a man because they like aren't watching the same things we are they're not experiencing it the same way we are yeah give it give it a go i also have yet to also delve into the lindsey clancy trial but i have been getting messages to raise awareness about postpartum depression and how badly hers was handled because it's not like it's a woman that it was like she didn't ask for help she did she went to so many doctors she was on so much medicine it's insane oh god i also it's not the first story of a woman accused of killing her kids of with postpartum depression by the way this is how we like to end the pod in the darkest saddest place again it's only up from here for your day exactly exactly because life is about perspective um we have the weekend ahead of us oh my god yeah yeah i have a wedding this weekend and the daphne fall photo shoot is actually tomorrow so i'm very excited so exciting i can't wait to see what everything looks like um and we love you guys thank you for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later bye

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