Giggling about tinned fish, tracking farts, and Tampa

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0:50Paige DeSorbo: Sup, gigglers.

0:52Amanda Batula: Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi.

0:53Paige DeSorbo: Manifest that shit.

0:55Amanda Batula: We can't be managed.

1:00Amanda Batula: I mean, the day just got away from me.

1:03Paige DeSorbo: Hello, my gregarious gigglers. Hello, my gregarious gigglers. I'm stressed because Paige is coming to my apartment after this. And I've had a, I was going to say a day. I've had a year. Okay. And I think what's going to have to happen is you can't come in. I have to do some quick, because I'm afraid you're going to get upset. Like it's going to ruin your day when you see the state. I had leftovers last night. When my parents are gone, I know an adult, but I live. You've lived alone for over 10 years. And Des is not around. I'm like Jimmy Neutron. Like I'm like sleep over time. I'm peeing in the shower.

1:43Paige DeSorbo: Like I don't give a fuck. And then I was like, oh my God, Paige is coming. Is that something Jimmy Neutron did? There was like a movie where all the parents like disappeared and the kids went crazy. And that's just how I lived my life. Like you don't have to put plates back into the sink if you don't want to.

1:56Amanda Batula: Like here's a perfect description of how you and I are different. Yesterday my glam showed up to my apartment and I had like a little plate of pastries. And Mitchell literally said, is that real life or were you like taking a picture of something? I was like, honey, that's real life. Grab a pastry.

2:17Paige DeSorbo: When my glam came in yesterday, which is like what our glam. I'm like, you might get bitten by something.

2:23Amanda Batula: You're like, if you have an allergic reaction, we don't know what it's from, but you might have one. It can be anything. It can be anything in here.

2:29Paige DeSorbo: Also, I woke up and, like, my back was kind of hurting. Like, something on my back was hurting. So I was, like, touching my spine. And a part of my spine was, like, sore. And I was like, did I break my spine? And then I realized I just have a massive pimple, which Paige loves. Like, how happy she is. She loves a pimple just on my spine. I have to see it. I have to show you guys. Right now? I thought I was paralyzed. I was like, I'm going to be paralyzed. Okay.

3:00Amanda Batula: Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one. Like, my back is perfect.

3:05Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, I could get in there. But, like, it hurts. Like, what's your strategy? How are we – like, you can't just go in. You have to, like –

3:11Amanda Batula: Well, I have to assess the area and see if there's even, like, a head that could be popped. I don't think there is. We need to heat compress it first. Yeah. I'm so scared. I love surgery, though. You can, like, take a needle and, like – Well, I have, like, all tools for it.

3:24Paige DeSorbo: So you have to dig in.

3:25Amanda Batula: That is honestly, I think, one of, like, my highlights of ever, like, dating a man is, like, when you get to the point where you're, like, let me pop that pimple for you. That's when, like, true love comes in. Like, I love – You have that with me.

3:43Paige DeSorbo: You don't need a man.

3:43Amanda Batula: If I had a boyfriend that had, like, shoulder acne, that's my fucking dream.

3:48Paige DeSorbo: Well, you could go hard on the shoulder. For some reason, it doesn't hurt as bad. Yeah. Oh, God.

3:53Amanda Batula: Anyhow.

3:53Paige DeSorbo: Anyhow, how are you? I'm good.

3:59Paige DeSorbo: You were in Brooklyn this morning.

4:00Amanda Batula: I was in Brooklyn this morning. Oh, this was what I wanted to say because now I'm, like, not in a coma from doing SAG awards anymore. Because I was talking about how, like, I didn't need my beta blockers as much as I thought I was going to do, going to need. Let me just set the scene for, like, in the morning. in the morning any day like that that I'm gonna be nervous and I know I'm gonna take a beta blocker I can't drink any coffee because I'll just like freak out I had hot water with lemon and then the only thing I could consume was half a banana oh your body shut down no my body was like no I can't take nothing in nothing out I'm like put it all in and then it's all coming out like my body He's like, no, no, closed right now.

4:44Amanda Batula: You think you're going to have a simple syrup? Get out of here.

4:47Paige DeSorbo: Simple syrup is a risk on a nonstop. Get out of here.

4:50Amanda Batula: Oh, my God. So that's what I had before. Then I take my beta blocker. Then I do what I have to do. Oh, you took beta blocker in the morning. I took a beta blocker 30 minutes before I had to be out there. Oh, OK. Yeah. I do the whole thing. I go to the awards. I'm sitting at the award show. I'm probably sitting there for like a little over an hour, maybe like an hour and a half. I'm sitting there. It truly felt like someone came up behind me, took a baseball bat and just like hit me in the head. Like I got an instant headache, but I think it was my adrenaline like starting to come down. I literally turned to my assistant and I'm like, we have to go immediately or I'm gonna like literally pass out at the table.

5:34Amanda Batula: We get in the car. We go back to the hotel. At this point, it's like 730. We walk into my hotel room because she has to take – my jewelry was so fucking expensive. I actually can't believe they didn't send a person. Usually if it's over a certain amount of money, they'll send a human being that watches the jewelry. But they were like, have at it. I was wearing –

5:55Paige DeSorbo: Remember when you lost your pinky ring and you were freaking out? And I was like, I can't deal with this right now. Oh, my God.

6:00Amanda Batula: I forgot I lost my pinky ring.

6:01Paige DeSorbo: Because your pinky is so little that nothing would stay.

6:04Amanda Batula: I had over$1.5 million of jewelry on me at SAG. See, I would have said no. I would have been like, no, thank you. I was just expecting like, oh, I'm going to give it back immediately after this. Like they're going to send a person. They didn't send a person. So we walk into my hotel room. She unzips my dress because she's like also giving my dress back. I'm taking the jewelry off and I'm like, hold on a second. I'll be right back. I walk into the bathroom, projectile vomit. You love vomiting. That's like your go-to. You're like. I come back out and I'm like, and now the day is over. I have completed my task.

6:46Amanda Batula: My body is also understanding that the day is over. That was your bowel. Your pirouette. Literally into the bowl. And you want to know the worst part? I was like, wow, today was a good day. Like today was a good day anxiety-wise.

7:02Paige DeSorbo: I'm laughing because I do the same thing, but through the other way. Yeah. Which, when I explained that to you, you stopped seeing me as gross and started seeing me as just like human. I started seeing you. But I want people to understand when you see all these celebrities like glitzed out, it's all Lent. It's all borrowed. And like the second they get off the carpet.

7:23Amanda Batula: I don't know why I thought you were talking about like Lent, like actual Lent. I was like, you're half Jewish. Wait, so what happened? with the jewels. We gave them back. But like she had to hold them for a certain amount of time. She just had to hold them till the next morning. Someone came and got them the next morning before we got on our flight.

7:41Paige DeSorbo: This reminds me last time we were in LA doing interviews. I had a necklace that no one told me how much it was. Thank God. But I couldn't get it off. Cause you know, when some of these clasps are like insane, like getting into Fort Knox and I went to college, couldn't figure it out. Also my nails were long and I FaceTimed my stylist at like 2 30 a.m thank god she doesn't sleep yeah and I was like I'm about to get on a plane at 6 a.m with this on my neck if we can't get this off and she

8:10Amanda Batula: was like that cannot happen and I'm like okay well there's like a picture of Jane Fonda where she like went to an award show and then there's a picture of her the next morning in her kitchen in the same dress and she's like I couldn't get the zipper off and like there's so many things in my life that I'm like, this also happened to Jane Fonda. And I don't know why, but I'm obsessed with her.

8:28Paige DeSorbo: Jane Fonda's so iconic. If you don't know about her, learn.

8:32Amanda Batula: No, you should actually watch her documentary. It's really good. I did. Oh, you did?

8:35Paige DeSorbo: I have to re-watch. That's my thing with fashion, though. It's so uncomfortable and I've recently somehow ended up in a bunch of jumpsuits.

8:48Paige DeSorbo: I don't know what I did in a past life. First of all, they don't fit my long torso. So my labia is literally fighting for its life. And then obviously you know I like to pee slash poop.

8:59Amanda Batula: Yeah.

8:59Paige DeSorbo: Like I don't even know what's going to happen, but I'm like I need to be in the bathroom. And in this you're like. And everyone's like, you don't just take the jumpsuit off. You have to like take your microphone off. It's a whole thing. Yeah. So anyway, this is not relatable, but I'm just saying. Evergreen relates to a jumpsuit pee situation. It is relatable that I can't believe we didn't talk about.

9:17Amanda Batula: But honestly, I think I saw it after we had like recorded last week. did you freaking see the Tampa airport banning Crocs and pajama pants?

9:31Paige DeSorbo: Which isn't a funny bit.

9:32Amanda Batula: I thought it was a bit. And me, who is like such a Croc hater. Yeah. I was like, let the girls wear their choice of shoes.

9:40Paige DeSorbo: You're like, just because it's not for me doesn't mean I need to ban other people's rights.

9:44Amanda Batula: And America literally take note.

9:47Paige DeSorbo: You don't approve of something doesn't mean it's not right for other people. Just because I don't want to do it doesn't mean I'm going to take it away from you. Take away rights from people. Okay, first of all, I have so many thoughts on this. This makes me now want to walk into the Tampa airport with no flight, just wearing pajamas, marry my Daphne. I might do a Daphne photo shoot in the Tampa airport.

10:09Amanda Batula: That was my first thought. I was like, what great marketing. With my Crocs, and then I'm going to throw gibbets all over the airport. Here's the thing. that I found offensive, the overarching message was please stop showing up, I think, like, looking disheveled or like. Which is my brand, but continue. But my thing is from a legal standpoint, but also Florida does whatever the fuck they want, I feel like. Yeah. From a legal standpoint, because we are lawyers. Yeah. How are you differentiating what's a pajama pant and what's not? And also, it just felt very pointed at women. Yes. Did it not? It came off like, hey, girls, stop.

10:54Paige DeSorbo: It came off like, girls, wear a fucking power suit to the airport. Now. I'm going to show up with a gown.

11:00Amanda Batula: Not that I've ever, like, been in this situation where I've, like, had to sit next to a man on a plane and I felt like he was, like, wearing something weird. but there's definitely times where I've seen men at the airport and I'm like, well, those sweatpants are not appropriate. Like they're too tight. Like, did you put underwear on you fucking freak? Like, so if we're not addressing the men's penises in their pants, don't tell me what kind of pant or shoe I can or cannot wear. Well, this is my issue.

11:31Paige DeSorbo: If, if I'm, if you invite me to your house and you say, Hannah, I'd prefer you to not show up in your pajamas and Crocs. I can respect that and say it's your house and it's your party.

11:42Amanda Batula: If someone ever said that, that would also be insane. No, but also like it's your house. There's a dress code.

11:48Paige DeSorbo: It's a private event of you and I want my friend to have a good event. However, as someone who flies for a living, first of all, I don't know where I'm landing. I don't know where I am. How are you think people like are like, oh, I'm flying to Tampa and I have to now prepare a dress code for when I land in Tampa. I don't know where I land. and I'm always wearing something comfortable. That sounds like a you problem. As in, when I'm on tour, am I about to be like, oh shoot, the Tampa airport, I have to change my outfit for the Tampa airport. As someone who owns a pajama brand, I felt very singled out.

12:20Paige DeSorbo: But also, if you wear jeans to the airport, like you don't travel a lot. You're like, you're a masquist.

12:27Amanda Batula: Also, let's just say men's jeans are very different than women's jeans. Really? Men's jeans, I feel like are soft, a little bit softer because it's not like, we don't care about their shape.

12:36Paige DeSorbo: They're not hugging anything.

12:37Amanda Batula: So I think that when men are in jeans at the airport or even like a chino pant, it's very different. But I've definitely seen men in like full sweats.

12:45Paige DeSorbo: Also, you see these mothers with like four children who are about to get on a flight at 6 a.m. She doesn't have to dress all her children. I want those kids in their comfortable pajamas so she can just get them out of bed and put them on the plane. You're making mothers like dress children in fucking what? Like office wear?

13:04Amanda Batula: Yeah. That would be adorable. That would be adorable. Imagine you brought your baby on a plane. She just had a headset on.

13:10Paige DeSorbo: She's working customer service. She's just like, sorry, I have to take this. No, Tampa's going to get sued. That's crazy. It was just, I just thought it was so crazy.

13:19Amanda Batula: Also, who in the meeting was like, I have a really good idea? Also, you're dealing with Florida. Like, that's going to backfire. All the Cookie Monster Pajama girls from high school are going to band together. Okay? They're going to, like, they're somewhere getting their nails done together. And they're coming for you.

13:35Paige DeSorbo: You know what makes me uncomfortable when you go to an airport and men are wearing cowboy boots? Why are you in full drag at the airport? With a mini heel. That's a heel. With a fucking heel. That's a high heel. And then a hat. So then I'm there with your - I can't see. You can't see anything. You're wearing your hat.

13:49Amanda Batula: Why are you in full - Can't even see the gate numbers because your hat is so big. Literally. Here's my question. What were they doing with the Crocs that they had to be banned? Like, were they taking them off and throwing them? Like, what? They can go sport mode. I can't see that there was ever a problem with people wearing Crocs.

14:06Paige DeSorbo: The one thing with Crocs is because they're rubber, sometimes against the, like, flooring, it would, like, I would, like, squeak. But not really. I would, like, trip a little sometimes. You're, like, our legit infield reporter. Yeah, as someone who's been on the ground and tried it out. However, I am one of those people in the morning, I don't want to wear, like, tie shoes in the morning. I want Velcro or slip it on. No, we've seen. That's why I love Crocs. Yeah. What if you're, I'm on a comedy tour and I brought one comfy outfit in Crocs to travel in. What are they going to say? You can't do your show tonight because you showed up in Crocs?

14:44Paige DeSorbo: Well, that's my question.

14:45Amanda Batula: How are you differentiating what's a pajama pant and what's like a sweat pant? Yeah. What are you telling people they have to go back to where they came from? Like the only situation I could see is like if someone tried to get on a flight and they were dressed like extremely inappropriate and provocatively. like then may okay but I feel like there's even been stories where girls are like in leggings and people have been like you can't get on this flight or something honestly you should be worried about the drunk men that get on these goddamn flights a little bit more than what the girls are wearing there's so many flights where I can't believe people have even been allowed to get on

15:22Paige DeSorbo: the plane I was with my mom flying from Toronto and she looked at me and she was like you know people are drinking right now and it was 9 a.m. and I was like I go you know I think some people get flight anxiety and she goes no I think they're just I think they're just having fun being hammered

15:39Amanda Batula: and this was a Monday you know I didn't realize that until I was like well into my 20s that people

15:46Paige DeSorbo: get like hammered on flights well I had my experience when I was sitting with a woman who was blackout on a flight who I haven't reached out to and every now and then I'm afraid she's

16:00Amanda Batula: gonna come out of nowhere and be like why haven't you texted me one time I was dating a guy and in my defense I didn't know he was a drug addict because he was like a good one we've all been there we've all been there no sometimes you do it subtly yeah I did I had no idea yeah same until we got on a flight one time and while we're whilst on the flight I was like falling asleep like I'm coherent but my eyes are closed like if anyone's around I'm asleep and I heard him talking to the people next to us and he was just lying just like lying about everything and it was on that trip that I realized that he had not gone to bed from the night before and he was in fact a drug addict and he got so hammered on the flight.

16:46Amanda Batula: I actually feel like security got involved at some point, but I stayed asleep. I think I meant to be blocked it out.

16:51Paige DeSorbo: Wait, that is so you to like, someone's getting arrested and you're just close your eyes. I'm like, I have narcolepsy. I straight have narcolepsy. You wake up, you're like, where is he? What happened? Someone's like, does anyone know this man? And you're like, let him fight for yourself. I do think traveling with your significant other is important. You learn a lot.

17:11Amanda Batula: Yeah.

17:12Paige DeSorbo: You learn a lot.

17:13Amanda Batula: I think it's really important. I've never had like, well, one time someone tried to leave me in Paris. Honestly, I digress.

17:19Paige DeSorbo: That sounds like iconic, though. Someone left you in Paris. They could have left you in Atlantic City. Yeah, that's true. I have a quick PSA for the gigglers. I found the ultimate hack. Gatorade lower sugar. No artificial flavors, sweeteners or colors. And it has 75 % less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade. it's the biggest life hack ever yeah i'm a gatorade girly i've been drinking it my whole life and some would argue i don't always need more sugar in my life so this is perfect and it's great for when you're sweaty page have you ever sweat before okay i'm so glad we're

17:56Amanda Batula: bringing this to the forefront and i hope my mother is listening to this because all growing up my brother got to drink gatorade all the time and i'd be like mom can i have gatorade and she'd be like you don't play sports and now in my adult life i actually do play extreme sports because i've flown to Fiji, worn suede, sweat so badly that I literally dropped to the ground.

18:19Paige DeSorbo: Also, I've been to one of your fittings. You try on 40 to 50 outfits in record time.

18:24Amanda Batula: That's an extreme sport. That's an extreme sport. There's always Gatorade in my refrigerator because you never know. I go on a brisk walk. I'm like, I need to, I need electrolytes. I need to hydrate. I need something more than water.

18:36Paige DeSorbo: And I used to, you know, be running around the tennis court, but now I'm running my mouth doing stand-up and that's why I always have Gatorade Lower Sugar in my green room to prepare because this is a sports podcast we are athletes I won't sweat

18:50Amanda Batula: through my clothes but like it's happening where you'll just like you'll full-on sweat through

18:57Paige DeSorbo: it's almost like a badge of honor oh yeah and did you know that Gatorade Lower Sugar actually hydrates better than water and we know that because we're women in stem and my favorite

19:07Amanda Batula: flavor this is the lemonade if you know anything about me one of my favorite phrases is let's get a lemonade like in the summer I'm like what if we got like an icy lemonade and so I always grab a

19:19Paige DeSorbo: lemonade flavor I think that a classic flavor when you think about Gatorade what do you think of Gatorade fruit punch nothing hits the tongue quite like it and you immediately think of like at recess with your friends having the best time.

19:36Amanda Batula: Some people say the colors and some people say the flavors. And that's just like a Gatorade thing, you know?

19:43Paige DeSorbo: In the comments, which girl are you? Do you call Gatorade by the color or the real name?

19:48Amanda Batula: Or its government name? I bet the gigglers are very split because I'm a color girly and I feel like you're a flavor. I'm a government name because I don't mess around when it comes to my Gatorade. Like you put their first and last name in your contacts.

20:03Paige DeSorbo: I also love rainberry and I got the big lemonade. It's really good. So I'm about to have a hydrating day with lower sugar.

20:11Amanda Batula: Whether you're sweating through a workout set or your Daphne pajamas, you're an athlete. Act accordingly and rehydrate with Gatorade lower sugar. It's giving 75 % less sugar and all the electrolytes of regular Gatorade. You'll be looking and feeling like your best, most hydrated self. Guys are wearing ballet flats now.

20:30Paige DeSorbo: Well, Harry Styles and some other guys who are more fashion forward, but like they're wearing ballet flats.

20:36Amanda Batula: Did you see Rosalia got asked a question? What's her favorite thing about men? And she said that they're gay. Rosalia is a giggler. That's my president.

20:43Paige DeSorbo: Sorry. That's my religion. That was so real. I love Rosalia. You know, she's my style icon.

20:51Amanda Batula: What brand? I want to know who's responsible for this. And when you say ballet flat, like, does it have a bow?

21:00Paige DeSorbo: Like, Harry Styles is wearing, like, a bell bottom with a ballet flat. With, like, a tabby? Not a tabby. Which, by the way, I need to get in on those tabbies. Yeah, I can't believe you haven't. It just hasn't. I don't know. I feel like, because I'm scared. It's so you. Because I also don't understand. A tabby, for you guys, don't know, it's when you look like a hoove. Yeah. Do you have to get a special sock for that? The admin is actually stressing me out. Honey, I don't know.

21:24Amanda Batula: I've never looked into a tabby. Honey. My assistant wears them all the time. Yeah. But that's her style. That's like her vibe. Like they do look cute, but I just like in the back of my head, I have my mom being like, just because it's expensive doesn't mean it looks good.

21:40Paige DeSorbo: Oh, that's why I haven't done it because I think they're expensive. And I'm like, I'm not paying more for less of a shoe. You cut the shoe in half. Yeah. On the top.

21:50Amanda Batula: I'm really upset about the men wearing ballet flats though. Can we have anything? No. We can't have a single thing. We can't even go on hot girl walks anymore. They like want to go on walks. Men are going on walks? Yeah, they're going on walks together. Do what? Who knows? They've already taken us down. They already have golf.

22:05Paige DeSorbo: That's what golf is. Just men walking and like hitting bad shots and then telling each other it was a good enough shot.

22:10Amanda Batula: Now they're like walking around and talking. The last thing we need is them talking to each other. Chris, are you guys talking? Have any of your friends asked you to go on a walk?

22:19Paige DeSorbo: No, I go on a walk sometimes though. By yourself? By myself, yeah. That's scary.

22:22Amanda Batula: No, but I think that's better than them getting together and walking. True, but I also don't like when a guy's alone, I'm like, where are you going?

22:29Paige DeSorbo: What are you planning?

22:31Amanda Batula: What are you up to? Yeah.

22:33Paige DeSorbo: I don't like when they get together like that. When there's two, I don't mind because I feel like they're obsessed with each other like they're gay.

22:39Amanda Batula: Yeah, they offset each other.

22:41Paige DeSorbo: But when there's three. Three or more, you got a problem.

22:43Amanda Batula: You got a problem because one of them is doing something. Three or more, something illegal is happening.

22:46Paige DeSorbo: Also, I talk about this in my stand-up, but do you know like in your college and in your 20s when you'd go over to a guy's apartment, why are there always 17 dudes playing FIFA?

23:00Amanda Batula: And that's the worst. I think it's them being nervous. It's them needing emotional support without ever saying like, hey, I'm nervous. Like this girl's coming over. It's more like I'm going to have this girl come over. And it's also performing for them. Like, look how much this girl likes me.

23:17Paige DeSorbo: I'm about to dick down this girl. But then I'm like, this isn't a fucking performance. Like, I came here to, I don't even know if, I don't even know what to do. Like, I don't even know why I'm here. And suddenly I'm having to, like, walk into your bedroom and do a fucking walk of shame before I even did anything. Also, I'm giving you a bad handjob. Like, this isn't going to be a thing.

23:36Amanda Batula: Can I just say, because, like, I'm no better than a man, I thrived in those situations. What would you do? What was your move? I loved them. They were like my that that was like my college experience. I was like, guess what? Also, I'm funny. Yeah, you didn't see that one coming.

23:50Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, yeah. I just it was like, tell me who all is going to be there before I show up. Also, because in your head, you're like, this is going to be so romantic. Like he's gonna be waiting for me with candles and a glass of wine. And then you walk in and just eight guys being like, are you Sarah? And you're like, no, that's not my name. That's not my name. and then I'm like oh yeah you like I know what I know that guy I've seen him on Facebook you're fucking a rat you I don't like you. Do you have any guy college friends like now in your 30s? Well my college experience because it was in Wisconsin like everyone lives in Chicago or they were like foreign on the tennis teams but I keep in touch with a lot of them like virtually.

24:33Paige DeSorbo: I couldn't name one of them maybe I could name we were like close with the tennis guys.

24:38Amanda Batula: I've never formed a real friendship with a man like I that's actually untrue I have I have friendships with I would say I have friendships with like two men that I really have a legitimate friendship with but I'm not even talking to them and if anything I'm now I'm talking to their wives yes yes yes

25:02Paige DeSorbo: you know like I'm not I do have to say I thrive with the audience too now that I'm looking back I think girls, when you walk in and you see those men and you get scared because you're like, what are they planning? Am I going to be kidnapped right now? Instead, you take control. This isn't a time for them to diminish you or whatever. Well, they're actually way more nervous. They're so nervous. That's why they need to be together.

25:22Amanda Batula: You are of them. I remember. It's kind of like a spider. Like, it's scared of you. You're not scared of it.

25:29Paige DeSorbo: I remember when I started to become powerful because the male athletes were scary and they were like the shit on campus. Like they were literally celebrities. Like when they're walking to school, like everyone's like, there's the quarterback, whatever. And the women's teams were training with the men's teams. And I remember I had, I got hit by a car. I digress. And I.

25:55Amanda Batula: That is the epitome of Giggly Squad. You're telling a story, but like you add in a sentence. Say the most traumatic thing you've ever heard. We'll actually get back to that.

26:03Paige DeSorbo: But there was a lot of times where you'd have to just walk in front of like the entire football team or the entire hockey team when you got hit by a car did you fall to the ground i was chucked up in the air landed on my back with a backpack apparently saved my life and i was just like lying there and then stayed there because it was quite nice to just lie there for a second oh you think it's funny he was funny you almost lost me because what wouldn't have been a thing

26:23Amanda Batula: in my head i'm picturing it like grazing you and you've been like oh it was like

26:30Paige DeSorbo: that's terrifying yeah so anyway back to me i no i did there's a thing called box jumps where you had to jump into a box and the whole men's hockey team was like on bikes okay and i was like for whatever reason alone scared doing box jumps and i jumped and just like rammed into here just jumping on my boxes just let me jump on my box i jumped and like i was trying to show off and of Of course, like I hit my shin and started bleeding. I fell. It was like a whole thing. How hard were these boxes? Oh, my God. They're like hard boxes. Yeah. Oh. And then there was this one time where like I started dating this football guy.

27:10Paige DeSorbo: And I was walking through the gym. And like four of his friends were there. And I guess I was like they knew I started seeing him. And they were like Hannah. But they didn't know I was crying because I just found out about a family member who was sick. So I had to be like, hey, guys. There's so many parts of this story. but then this was my like this was my moment where I think it shaped who I am as a person and why I love comedy now wow and making fun of men really getting to the crux of it and your entire personality you never have to be embarrassed in front of men you are in control I'd been hit by a car I was maimed I was down for the count and I think me and this football guy were like now not talking that much they put you in this little pool as rehab where you run on a treadmill that's in a pool so that's they I should get that for kitty so all so your so your weight is like lifted so you put so much weight on it so I'm at this little pool in my I guess I'm wearing like shorts and a sports bra and like this is intimate and I'm also like probably crying and all the football guys are lined up on bikes like right watching you watching me do this so it's like so annoying one of them is like my fucking ex-situationship and I'm like cool amazing so I get out and I'm just like soaking wet yeah you're like hi this is me barely wearing any clothes yeah like eyes probably swollen from crying and I'm walking by and he decides to say something like like something like looking good or something like that and I just look at him I say don't be a creep and everyone starts dying laughing like oh and i remember like feeling so powerful and being like as long as i'm funnier than them yeah they could never get to me like you tried to make me feel awkward in front of all you guys you'd be fucking awkward giving you a compliment i don't care i don't care yeah no but also don't don't fucking how dare don't don't fucking sexualize me out i'm a female athlete trying to recover from a car accident and you're trying to in front of your boys show off that you're like yeah nice ass yeah no you're a fucking creep you're losers and i don't want your affection or attention or attention fuck you and the tampa airport yeah literally fuck the tampa airport which i think i have to fly in soon what if my face is just like they just tackle me the

29:29Amanda Batula: second i get there immediately they go she's been promoting crocs never did i think ever that i would be single-handedly standing up for the croc community i was like hey i may not agree with them but they have the right to express themselves the

29:48Paige DeSorbo: way they see fit they're different doesn't mean that's bad or wrong exactly just because they're

29:54Amanda Batula: different and i don't like it doesn't mean they need to change yeah and that accepting of all people yeah whether or not they wear crocs a hundred percent and that's the policy we stand on there's nothing like ordering new cute workout clothes well maybe ordering new cute sneakers but to go with your workout set and your sneakers you need something that's going to support your energy digestion strength metabolism immunity and that's cachava cachava supports all day energy with five key vitamins and minerals. It fuels and replenishes your muscles with protein and electrolytes. There's different ways you can personalize your cachava drink by either adding frozen fruit, peanut butter, maybe make it iced.

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31:17Paige DeSorbo: On eBay, every find has a story. Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee. Not just a tee, the band tee from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then your boyfriend started wearing it, which was cute until they dumped you and took it with them, which was so not cute. Anyway, now you're on eBay. And there it is, same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory rent-free forever. See, the things you love have a way of finding their way back to you. But eBay isn't just for getting what your ex stole back. It's also for that rare championship foul ball you caught then heroically gave to the kid next to you.

31:57Paige DeSorbo: And where else are you going to find your first car, the one you wish you never sold, but now finally have the chance to take home for good this time? I love eBay to find all the fashion collectibles and unique pieces that I know will mean something to me. My Nana ended up giving one of her bags to my little cousin, and I was like, oh, I wish I could have had that bag. And then I found it on eBay. Shop eBay for millions of finds, each with a story. eBay, things people love. over 90 of the top 100 u.s accounting firms trust bill to simplify and secure bill pay that's proven financial infrastructure built on over a trillion dollars of secure payments visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer

32:46Paige DeSorbo: anyway have you been eating tin fish

32:52Paige DeSorbo: we don't even try to have segues anymore

32:57Amanda Batula: i'm so fucking happy you brought up this tin fish oh my god tell i haven't eaten it but their packaging is adorable well you're thinking of fish wife very their marketing is so cute but what is it why is everyone obsessed with it what kind of fish is that

33:13Paige DeSorbo: and all kinds good question so apparently this could be completely wrong but like in Portugal and in Italy and Spain they have these cans of like smoked fish okay that they like sardines and they also have like octopus they have all kinds of fish so my brother calls me and my brother's like I'm obsessed with tin fish and I'm like tell me why sounds like a great like band

33:40Amanda Batula: name or like really cool men's brand. Like, oh my God, like Tin Fish. Tin Fish.

33:46Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, it sounds like a rapper.

33:48Amanda Batula: Yeah. A DJ.

33:49Paige DeSorbo: DJ Tin Fish.

33:51Amanda Batula: Yeah, Tin Fish and 50 Cent did like a song together. Tin Fish remix.

33:58Paige DeSorbo: We did a DJ Tin Fish. By the way, I miss when they used to yell the producer in the beginning of songs.

34:03Amanda Batula: Yeah, why are we not giving him credit anymore? Yeah. Yeah. What happened to DJ Mustard? I've been wondering for years what happened to Mustard

34:14Paige DeSorbo: let's take it easy yeah I want to know who's producing it it was like the Walt Disney would be like in the beginning the production company let us know give credit where credit is due also do you remember when every pop star used to just have a random rapper for 30 seconds at the end of the song I don't know why immediately popping into my head

34:33Amanda Batula: is Paul Wall and what is Hulk Hogan's daughter, Brooke Hogan? That song is so good. One of my favorite songs ever. Seeing them looking and you don't say nothing. What happened to Paul Wall? I really thought that like. He's around. But not in the rap capacity. Well, he's not singing opera. Right, but like he had two or three major songs and then one day he was just like, adios. And we never saw him again. Like you didn't know. He's with Jack Harlow somewhere. That like the last time you listened to one of his songs is really going to be the last time you ever saw him.

35:06Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, and I hate to get emotional, but... But also, I hate... We haven't looked it up. He's probably been making a lot of music, and it just hasn't crossed our desks.

35:14Amanda Batula: Chris, do me a favor and look up... Chris, are you texting during the pod? Look up Paul Wall's bibliography. What's he doing? What's he up to?

35:22Paige DeSorbo: I got you. I'm Googling exactly that. Not a lot to work with here.

35:29Amanda Batula: I feel like he almost might have gotten out of the industry because something happened to him.

35:33Paige DeSorbo: Or maybe he just did well and was like, I've said what I need to say. I've made all the rhymes I can make. He's performing this weekend. He is? He's performing this weekend. We're at Houston. I'm so proud of him. I think he's from Houston.

35:47Amanda Batula: Wait, I'm so proud of him.

35:49Paige DeSorbo: Performing at the State Fair of West Virginia. He's at the State Fair of West Virginia. Oh, he's got a custom jewelry business, too. He has a custom jewelry business for grills. I really didn't see him as the State Fair circuit. He goes, he does bracelets now. anyway so tin fish oh yeah what's great about it and i don't work for tin fish by the way but my brother told me that like the minerals and vitamins are incredible and my mom who was a dietician always told me like at the end of the day it's best to like actually eat your minerals

36:21Amanda Batula: and vitamins like rather than like taking a vitamin taking a vitamin like just fucking eat

36:26Paige DeSorbo: Eat a vegetable. Eat a whole food. So these fish have incredible vitamins and minerals, and the oils with it are really, really healthy for you, for your skin.

36:36Amanda Batula: You're just opening it, taking it, eating it, or you're putting it on?

36:39Paige DeSorbo: Great question. So you could put it, like, as part of a charcuterie plate. It's a great, like, healthy lunch to just, like, open one up. They have salmon, all this stuff. They have ones that are really spicy. Wait. Kitty would love this. Kitty would. Oh, my God. Tin fish for the cats. We need a tin fish collab. We need to do tin fish for cats. Wait, kitty was, and it like really cute. I think that's just wet food.

37:05Amanda Batula: Yeah, true. I think they've invented it. They invented it. And it's cat food. We're like, don't put that in the pod because let's ruminate on that one. And it's literally just fancy feast food. It's like, yep, nope, the scientists have crafted it. Let's call it fancier feast. Fancier, fancier feast.

37:26Paige DeSorbo: But you also can put it in a stew. You could put it in a pasta. Actually, I haven't eaten it. I don't want to ever put it in a pasta. So this is the thing. My brother's been obsessed with it and trying it. What's his favorite fish? He's been trying everything. He's been trying all the tins. But Lois, my daughter, hates the smell of it. So she keeps going, pew, daddy, it smells. It smells. So Lois hates the tin fish movement. But Daniel is like. I would hate it too, I think, if I were Lois. It's really, it can be really strong smelling.

38:02Amanda Batula: Do you have to refrigerate it?

38:04Paige DeSorbo: I think if there's an apocalypse, all the tinfish girlies are going to survive.

38:08Amanda Batula: Or I was going to say, is it like tuna where it's like you can keep it in the cabinet? Yeah, you don't have to put it in the fridge.

38:14Paige DeSorbo: Also, I should triple check that before I like give all the girls E. coli. Everyone's like, I listened to Giggly Squad and I got E. coli from an octopus.

38:26Paige DeSorbo: So double check that. But I do think if you are into like sushi or you're into like fish, you'll like tin fish. Are you going to try it?

38:35Amanda Batula: Because I don't know if I'm going to.

38:37Paige DeSorbo: So I went to this restaurant. I think it's called Tin Fish. In LA. It's called like Fish Wife or something. I've talked about it before in the pod. And you can get this whole like tinned fish charcuterie spread. And you can put it on bread. so if you want to explore new palettes you can try it out does your mom eat it? you will do anything my mom does

38:58Amanda Batula: well I just like I look up to her

39:00Paige DeSorbo: she's very fit and healthy

39:01Amanda Batula: yeah she's so healthy

39:02Paige DeSorbo: I have to double check I'll ask her I don't want to speak for her

39:06Amanda Batula: and her ways please don't speak on her name

39:10Paige DeSorbo: this also could be totally made up because it's from the internet and I actually can't trust anything I'm seeing on the internet lately like it's becoming really chaotic

39:17Amanda Batula: no I'm a 65 year old woman And I'm like, is that AI?

39:22Paige DeSorbo: Well, now things that are an AI, I'm like, that's AI. And people are like, no, that's the world right now. And I'm like, that has to be AI. Apparently they invented an underwear that's like a fart tracker for people to see like how your body is processing foods and stuff. For people to be like, do you have IBS, whatever. This, again, could be totally false. We have no funding for women's health.

39:46Amanda Batula: You hit menopause and they literally say, why don't you just kill yourself? But yet they're tracking farts. No, we've truly lost it as a society.

40:01Paige DeSorbo: They definitely just use men for the study. How many farts do you think the average person is farting based on this study?

40:06Amanda Batula: In a day?

40:07Paige DeSorbo: Yeah.

40:08Amanda Batula: In a 24-hour period?

40:09Paige DeSorbo: And they said it's higher than any previous reports that people told. People said, oh, I fart this amount. What's the actual amount?

40:18Amanda Batula: Okay, I would say that people are farting like five times a day. 32. I am not farting 32 times a day. And the second I saw that number, if that's true, I was like, Paige is holding in 32 farts a day. More. I'm probably holding in weeks more.

40:37Paige DeSorbo: I definitely fart 32 times a day. 32? Not like big ones, but I feel like every now and then there's just a little air comes out.

40:46Amanda Batula: you're farting once an hour, like more than once an hour?

40:49Paige DeSorbo: I think there's some hours that are particularly hotter than other hours. Like I have some quiet hours, but then I have some crazy hours. Sorry, we're doing quiet hours here. Some firework hours and then should be quiet. I mean also then when you're sleeping. Okay, and what is it?

41:06Amanda Batula: Is it underwear that you're wearing and it's tracking it? It's tracking it. That seems like radiation. They track like the nitrogen, hydrogen, peroxide. I feel like I'd get a UTI.

41:15Paige DeSorbo: oh for sure something is not are you wearing cotton underwear for your utis yeah yeah okay

41:23Amanda Batula: every now and then i get a message no i'm still uti free oh my god yeah us weekly where's that

41:30Paige DeSorbo: where are you guys where are you you you embarrass a woman and then when she solves the problem you still make it seem like everyone she's out to die they're on to the next thing they're on to

41:42Amanda Batula: No, I don't want to jinx it, but yeah. That's the problem with press, though.

41:47Paige DeSorbo: The problem with press is they love a good headline, but then they don't check if it's true, and then they don't give an update when things have evolved. So people just remember the horrible thing, and they're never like, but she's taking care of her health, and she's in a better place now. Thank you for taking a stand. What are you up to this weekend?

42:08Amanda Batula: Oh, my God. We never ask each other that question. What is a weekend when you're over 31? You can still dabble. You can say 32. No, because 30 you can still dabble.

42:16Paige DeSorbo: But you can say 32. You're 32. I'm 33.

42:20Amanda Batula: Well, if you're 34. That's my age. A woman never says her age. I love being 33, though. What am I doing this weekend? Literally nothing. Oh, I'm in Indian Wells. Oh, yeah.

42:33Paige DeSorbo: I wish you could come. You'd have fun for like two hours. What is Indian Wells? So it's, you know, there's the Grand Slams. There's four Grand Slams. For what? For tennis. Oh.

42:45Amanda Batula: You're like, what's your name? What planet are we on? Well, sometimes you're talking about March Madness. There's just so many things. There's a lot of sports. You're very overwhelmed.

42:53Paige DeSorbo: There's a lot of sportsmen thrown at you in the last couple months.

42:55Amanda Batula: Did you see Tom Brady called Logan Paul a bitch? The men are fighting. I am on Tom Brady TikTok. I don't know. It's giving real housewives.

43:03Paige DeSorbo: No, it's literally giving real housewives. Calling a man a bitch is really funny. Let's call more men bitches.

43:09Amanda Batula: Oh, I do. I think I hit my quota. I've been calling them bitches.

43:15Paige DeSorbo: I love that. I never call men bitches. Do you want to know one of... Because it's also kind of calling them like a mean girl,

43:22Amanda Batula: calling a guy a bitch, which is so funny. One of my favorite insults to one of my boyfriends, because it was like really bizzle, was I would call him one of his friends' names because he like low-key would like beef with this... Like, he would beef with this friend. So you'd be like, that friend was right? No, and I would just be like, okay, you know who you're acting like? Oh, my God. And so, like, if we'd get into a fight, I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay. And then, like, say the name. And he'd be like, that's not what I'm acting like. And I'm like, seems like you are. And then, like, say his name again.

43:56Amanda Batula: Once you know a man's triggers. You have to get niche with it.

43:59Paige DeSorbo: Oh, yeah. You can't generalize. Every guy is a new opportunity to find a name.

44:03Amanda Batula: If I did a nickel for every time I called a guy a loser, I'd be like, oh, God. You love that line. I love that. That just comes out. It gets me really upset. They really don't like being called losers.

44:12Paige DeSorbo: No, when I first heard you call a guy that, I was like, that was iconic. Because I say it deep. I could say the whole sentence. You make the word 15 minutes. You go, you're a loser. You're a loser. Loser. Yeah. Loser. That's like me saying, shut the fuck up. Yeah. All the girls should now go on Instagram. go on TikTok and be like practice calling a guy a loser.

44:38Amanda Batula: You know who I actually got calling a guy a loser from? Who? Let's give credit where credit's due. Kourtney Kardashian. She called Scott a loser? Years and years and years ago. Like literally like the first couple of seasons. This could have even been like the first like Take Miami season. I distinctly remember her calling him a loser and him getting like really upset by it. But to give credit where credit is due because I guess that's the theme of this episode. He was an amazing reality TV cast member for that show. Like obviously that show would have still like been on, but there were a couple seasons where like that was a Scott show.

45:16Paige DeSorbo: He was the perfect in-between to kind of be like the voice of like what everyone was thinking. Do you think him and Courtney would have stayed together if they weren't on a reality show? No, because I think ultimately Courtney, no, I think ultimately Scott had too much of like an addiction.

45:33Amanda Batula: True. to like going out and drinking and that like you can get just so beaten down with that just so much until one day you're like you've actually exhausted me to the point of like I can't even be around you I'm so tired this episode is sponsored by better help March 8th is international women's day and let's just take a moment to celebrate the women in our lives their strength their progress heck even ourselves when you're thinking about yourself and the women in your life and the role they play the expectation placed on you and them therapy can help create balance set healthy boundaries and support overall well-being for everyone better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the u.s better help does the initial matching work so you can focus on your therapy goals a short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and with their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate, which means they typically get it right on the first time.

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47:16Amanda Batula: It feels intentional and that matters. What I love is that Bumble actually listens to women. They were like, okay, you're tired of guessing. You're tired of decoding vibes. So they built tools to make it easier, like their verification tools are huge. With photo verification and ID verification, you can actually feel confident that this person is who they say they are. Finally, women get a few minutes out of their day where they don't have to worry about their safety. Plus, with so many unique prompt options, it's easy to get the conversation started. You can layer in all the need-to-know details right on your profile.

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49:12Paige DeSorbo: Are you going to bring the bar back? No. because I just keep getting all these notifications being like the Italian Bob is in the French Bob right now who's bobbing around your assistant oh yeah my assistant has a bob Taylor has a bob

49:28Amanda Batula: mm-hmm I bobbed for so long you just feel like that well you would never go back to that exact bob I mean in my lifetime again will I have a bob totally wait do you know people try to say

49:40Paige DeSorbo: that like I hate you because I was telling you to shave your head. And I'm like sorry.

49:44Amanda Batula: That was me. Sorry for having a vision. Yeah that was me making other accounts and commenting being clearly Hannah has an alpha page. Hannah has an alpha page. Nope. That was me.

49:56Paige DeSorbo: If I had your facial structure I would enjoy having short hair but I can't pull it off.

50:02Amanda Batula: You believe in me so much. I see so much for you. And you think I am like truly one of the most gorgeous people ever on the planet like any outfit you're like Paige go wear that like I literally am your real life like Barbie doll that sometimes you play with when you're into like clothes and stuff and then other times you're like what if I just

50:26Paige DeSorbo: ripped your whole head off oh you got mad at me recently because I I love sending Paige vintage clothes to buy and every now and then you don't respond or you'll respond okay cute which like makes my day and then sometimes you'll get angry and be like why would you ever send me this because

50:43Amanda Batula: sometimes i think you're fucking with me i'm like clearly you couldn't have looked down on your phone saw this article of clothing and thought cute because if you did you need your eyes checked

50:53Paige DeSorbo: you there are you can pull off a lot of things and you also can set a trend thank you like even you wearing all the emerald jewelry i feel like that are people doing that

51:05Amanda Batula: wearing emerald jewelry like green jewelry no but like green i didn't like invent i know but i

51:11Paige DeSorbo: could see girls wearing green jewelry being like oh it looked regal yeah so anyway i just i i'm i'm still sending you stuff like are you okay that i send you yeah no i like it because you

51:21Amanda Batula: want to know what when you send me stuff of things i should buy in my head i go oh she's relaxing good she needs to relax right now she's just like online shopping so it's like i know that you're You're in a state of relaxation.

51:35Paige DeSorbo: Shopping online and not buying anything and then sending it to your friends to see if they'd like it. Yeah. Is a form of therapy. It's like sending memes but like less mind work. Yeah.

51:46Amanda Batula: And like sometimes I have to stay true to myself and be like get this off my god damn screen. True. You don't want your algorithm.

51:51Paige DeSorbo: If I fuck up your algorithm.

51:52Amanda Batula: You just start getting tabbies. If I start getting ads for like horrible clothes. I mean this is Hannah. Hannah literally did this in my algorithm.

51:59Paige DeSorbo: though but also I all of my friends have different love languages and like I feel like me sending you a light pink Chanel ballet flat yeah is a form of love like if I could just get you get you and if you bought something because I sent it to you then like we're connected I have you have I mean but

52:18Amanda Batula: I've sent you a lot yeah in the ratio of things sent to bought not great I was like I have pages

52:25Paige DeSorbo: is a different size than me so when I'm vintage shopping I'll be like that's really cute oh no it's not my size yeah it's Paige's size though would she like it and I love feeling like I found something for you yeah well because also you don't like to splurge no that's my middle name yeah I'm like if I'm not gonna enjoy it someone else should yeah but that's like you with food if you're like I'm not gonna finish this Hannah should that's exact that is exactly it you go I've had enough. This is too much for me. But Hannah will actually treat this how it's supposed to be treated. Also, our silhouettes are so different.

53:04Paige DeSorbo: I can't buy, if it says mini dress, I can't buy it. Because my butt will be out. And then I'm the one who's inappropriate getting kicked off a plane. Right. Ma 'am, we can see your butt crack. And this is like, it's the right size for me. but because I have a big butt, it doesn't. Some of these dresses are insane. Like when you put it on, it's short for you. Imagine if you had your butt pad on.

53:31Amanda Batula: Yeah, and I love something mini. Like if one in doubt, I'm shortening. Yes, I've never shortened anything in my life. Honestly, the only thing my tailor ever does is just shorten things for me. Like make it more mini. Well, because I love a knee-high boot.

53:47Paige DeSorbo: I'll try on clothes and they'll be like your midriff showing. First of all, don't say midriff to me. Like, just say my belly button's out. But it's not my fault. It's because of my torso. And then they're like, can you not show your stomach? And I'm like, can you get me a full shirt?

54:01Amanda Batula: Now, if Tampa came out and said. No midriffs? No midriff. I'm like, what are we in, fucking public school gym? I'd actually be more understanding than no pajama pants. Because that's an area of your body that, yeah, you don't, that you wouldn't show your midriff in like a busy way.

54:20Paige DeSorbo: professional setting but like what if i like accidentally go to like grab a magazine and my that's different i love what we're fighting about the midriff rule that isn't made in the tampa airport i'm like well what if my midriff no we're literally being karen's on tiktok so we're

54:36Amanda Batula: like oh really you said that but what about have you ever thought of this it's like okay well i wasn't talking i don't want to see a man's butt crack why aren't there rules about that because

54:46Paige DeSorbo: I've seen I've seen more male butt cracks than any person should if you really yeah I really feel

54:53Amanda Batula: like if you really want to see like the state of where the country is at you just have to take like a flight from Florida to New York I thought you're gonna say you just have to look at a man's butt crack no because like I there's just no men anymore on the planes like the amount of times I've taken my bag off the overhead bin I'm like it's insane but they can wear pajama pants they're already not doing anything. Why do they also need to be comfy? Also, pajama pants, it's lounge ready to wear. Legally, I'm wondering how they even got the okay to put out that thing.

55:29Paige DeSorbo: Should we take them to small claims court? We don't have anything else to do.

55:33Amanda Batula: I don't want to go to court in Florida. I feel like court in Florida is like, did you do it? I don't know. It just feels weird down there.

55:42Paige DeSorbo: When you're getting your hair washed, at a salon, do you keep your eyes open or closed? Depends who's washing it.

55:50Amanda Batula: Oh, like if you don't trust them. No, like if I know them and we're talking, like I'm going to keep my eyes open. But like if it's like a new girl and she's really getting in there and I'm really feeling it, like I'm closing my eyes. I feel like even if I'm talking, I'm closing my eyes. Do you want to know something though? I haven't been to a salon in years because Mitchell just like does my hair literally in my living room now. so like I don't get a

56:16Paige DeSorbo: salons are a vulnerable place I don't get going to a salon you first of all you show up and they make you look like a wet rat what is it that you spill your guts at a salon well cause you're so vulnerable like you're an open wound you've never looked uglier in that mirror cause you look like a wet rat

56:34Amanda Batula: and the only place to look is at yourself

56:37Paige DeSorbo: yeah and then they're doing crazy stuff with the clips to your hair and then they're like do you want to take a photo and you're like no like I've never looked worse and then a lot of the time the haircut happens and you're just like and this is I'm gonna hate myself for the next three weeks thank you I'm

56:52Amanda Batula: gonna thank you I'm gonna pay you now yeah I haven't gone and sat in a salon in a while but you know what I used to do this is like so girly of me and I wonder if you ever did this when my mom when I was younger and my mom had to go get her hair done I would be like hyped like fuck yeah we're gonna be there for like four hours i'm gonna look at all these magazines and all these pictures she's absolutely gonna get me a goddamn snack then i'm gonna snack on that and then i'm gonna walk around the salon like i loved salon days page i have the most insane story of me

57:28Paige DeSorbo: visiting my mom at the salon and literally probably getting kicked out so my nana okay don't say what my nana was going to this guy since like the 70s or 80s so then and his name's lance of course in tribeca what else would his name be what else would his name be in tribeca so then it was like a thing like my mom now goes to lance and she was like hannah i'm gonna bring you to lance and it was like this like big deal and i wasn't getting my hair cut to it's lance bass it's right before instinct but i walk in and like it's the most gorgeous cool salon and i think It's so cool because my Nana goes here and everyone knows.

58:04Paige DeSorbo: It's like she's a local celebrity. Oh, you're Nana's granddaughter. I must have been – I was young. It would be hilarious if I was 17. But I was like seven or six or five. I don't know. All I remember is apparently I just started rolling around. I was running around, rolling around, and I got hair all over me. You had no respect for what was taking place in that room. I started freaking out because I got so itchy because I was rolling around like a mad force. And my mom was like, I'm so sorry. She has really bad ADHD. And then I was like, Mom, we have to leave. And then they were trying to wipe me.

58:43Paige DeSorbo: I caused a stir.

58:44Amanda Batula: I couldn't imagine. I literally, this is one of the reasons I wish that I knew you when I was little. Because I would see girls like you out in the wild or doing something. and I like would always remember like looking at my mom like are you getting a load of this girl like and I never did anything like outlandish why did I think it would be fun to like literally

59:06Paige DeSorbo: be a Roomba and then it was such a horrible experience and I was like I don't ever want to go back to the salon that was so scary I almost died I would sit I think I had gum on

59:18Amanda Batula: me at one point sure like my mom would be like under the thing and I would just sit right next to her and like watch her.

59:24Paige DeSorbo: I think my mom was like stay here and read a magazine and after two minutes I was like

59:28Amanda Batula: I'm fucking like doing parkour.

59:32Paige DeSorbo: You can't

59:33Amanda Batula: lay out.

59:35Paige DeSorbo: Also that's where my demons find me the second I'm still under the sun.

59:40Amanda Batula: Because I feel like over the summer like we were like well we're gonna like lay out and then like you're down for like literally two seconds and you're like and also you're not you can't like like I could

59:51Paige DeSorbo: lay out for hours. I love a walk. That's my prime. Because it's not too much exertion of energy but I'm also not still where like everything from my past comes to the limelight. See I'm timing it.

1:00:07Amanda Batula: I'm like a rotisserie chicken. And we're shifting. We're turning.

1:00:11Paige DeSorbo: You could

1:00:12Amanda Batula: like what's the longest you could lay out for? Oh my god. When I was in high school and like it was like the summer and no one had any responsibilities except like being in high school, I would get out there at like 10 a.m. It was a full-time job. And I'm not coming back in until like 4. I'm tracking the UV. Yeah, no, I was like, that was my job. That was my job.

1:00:34Paige DeSorbo: Apparently there's a new thing out. It's like a sticker. I don't know if this will be like good or bad, but you put the sticker on, and when the sticker evaporates, it means you have to reapply. Wow. Based on like the UV. Women in STEM, for sure.

1:00:47Amanda Batula: No, I do take sunscreen seriously though.

1:00:50Paige DeSorbo: after the fact.

1:00:52Amanda Batula: They're like, it's called too late. Once I'm the perfect shade, I really take it seriously. Once I've set my base, I'm all about the SPF. Absolutely. My final note is just a PSA.

1:01:06Paige DeSorbo: Stop texting people. What are you doing? Where are you tomorrow? Are you in New York? What are you doing tomorrow?

1:01:14Amanda Batula: Okay, I ask one time. No, but it's like, am I going to be held hostage? Don't ask me if I'm available before you've even said what you want me for. Are you subpoenaing me for something? Also, how do you spell subpoena? You and I are really on this word subpoena. Hannah and I, every other text, we're like, imagine if our text ever got subpoenaed.

1:01:36Paige DeSorbo: I tried to spell subpoena.

1:01:37Amanda Batula: We can't manifest that. It's literally impossible. Subpoena is like someone is fucking with everyone. Because I keep thinking about the Blake Lively whole thing. it's like okay there's so many stray friends that are like are you fucking kidding like I feel like I would be the adjacent friend that like I then became the story because it's like her texts were so unhinged like now we don't even care about this lawsuit it's more about page to serve those unhinged insane text messages like I really I say all the time I'm like if you ever get subpoenaed please delete my number every now and then they'd probably be like that was funny oh the girls would be like and where's the lie where is the goddamn lie

1:02:20Paige DeSorbo: every now and then also i still love a funny gif well that's what we voice note too i love a good gif a good voice note oh it makes me feel really safe page goes yesterday she goes can i say something crazy to you i'm loving it i'm like it's 10 p.m i'm like yeah i'm looking through my gifs i find one of a chihuahua like a funny one like a funny chihuahua and then she tells me something so serious and dark and it was like that facetime meme where like your friend calls you and you're like making a funny face and they're crying i literally goes i'm so sorry i didn't read the second text yet i was sending a gif and he just died i sent her a chihuahua getting excited and then she was like i don't know if this life is right for me she's like i'm questioning my purpose on this planet and i was like okay disregard the gif wait that was so funny i know that actually

1:03:10Amanda Batula: You made me die laughing in my bed last night.

1:03:14Paige DeSorbo: Anyway, thank you guys for giggling with us. We love you so, so much. We're late for our next thing. We actually are late. We love you. Talk soon.

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