Giggling about veneers, the fbi, and standing on business

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0:32Hannah Berner: this episode is sponsored by state farm you know how in life there are certain people you can just call whenever something goes wrong like the friend who brings snacks after a breakup the one who helps you move or the one who answers the phone and has the perfect piece of advice having good people in your corner makes a world of difference and with state farm you can feel good knowing an agent is there to help you every step of the way whether you need protection for home auto boats motorcycles rvs or all of the above you can choose the perfect amount of coverage for you and along the way if you have questions or need advice just head to statefarm.com or use the state farm app to get help from one of their local agents like a good neighbor state farm is there

1:30Paige DeSorbo: what's up my gobstopper gigglers that was that was a dm someone recommended it it was really good

1:36Hannah Berner: um okay i feel like i'm getting ready for like my first day of school wait so do i i at 32 years old every august i still have to remind myself that i'm not going back to school

1:51Paige DeSorbo: yeah i get like really stressed i think i triggered everyone because i on my story i was like send us business questions for us to talk about on giggly squad someone was like please don't talk about worker business giggly squads are safe wait a minute you asked the giggly squad

2:10Hannah Berner: instagram to send us business questions i don't know what was coming over me get the gall okay

2:19Paige DeSorbo: the gall was that i was like summer's over it's time to stand on business let's talk about business and then all the questions were like how do you um get a 1099 i'm like i don't know bitch i don't know anything about business

2:35wait that is like such a funny just internet thing it's like you ask someone something they

2:42Paige DeSorbo: answer and it's like how dare you no the gigglers make me laugh so hard but i golfed today you golfed today and how was that when i'm not standing on business i'm a retired old man get you a girl who can do both it was traumatizing i don't like golfing it takes too long i always get convinced they convinced me to do 18 holes which by the way how many hours is that over three

3:06Hannah Berner: hours oh that's not bad yes it is we are that tiktok right now how much did this cost three hundred dollars oh that's not bad over three hours i thought you were gonna say like eight i was like reborn again i was like because you play and you take a break at nine you play more

3:26Paige DeSorbo: you get to get there to practice then we had dinner after the whole day is gone the whole day is gone yeah and I quit two holes because I know myself and I said if I'm I'm gonna respectfully remove myself from this hole because I have boundaries now young husbands go golfing all

3:46Hannah Berner: the time yes and old husbands I always forget that like when we are doing virtual we're still clipping it and i look as heinous as i could possibly look whenever we it's almost like it's almost like i'm having a competition with myself to look worse and worse every time we do virtual i can't wait that's our back to school like getting back in the studio every month yes we're

4:08Paige DeSorbo: back in the studio i do have to say side note we got clipped by the u.s open and it was like us laughing and i feel like there was a comment which i shouldn't have looked at but they were like oh my god like these girls performing for the camera that was some big brother shit no i'm

4:23Hannah Berner: actually livid because i'm like why didn't you guys tell us it wasn't my good side so that i could have looked like done something chic or like put my sunglasses like i was like wait guys

4:36Paige DeSorbo: hello hello we were literally gagging about something which is fine and was like you have

4:44Hannah Berner: to not look at the no i know but sometimes sometimes it's funny i'm just like where did you even get that someone commented and was like page just told her to just laugh so like obviously they knew and i'm like i i probably said a joke and hannah wasn't laughing and i was like laugh

5:02Paige DeSorbo: at that but what i'm saying is when these podcasts get cut up into clips it feels like that and then

5:08Hannah Berner: i'm like oh wait that's grace's job yeah but it feels like someone just took footage of us and

5:13Paige DeSorbo: threw it online no gray sent a clip the other day and i go i can't even look at myself we can't but the crazy you look beautiful thank you you're perfect on the inside and the outside it's not about how we look it's how we make people feel that's so true that's what i tell

5:30Hannah Berner: myself every morning speaking of people that are making me feel good recently have you seen anything on the cardi b trial yes and i've not even been online that much she first of all

5:44Paige DeSorbo: looks incredible second of all is doing that's my late night show no my show is on i'm sat

5:51Hannah Berner: i'm quiet i'm getting a snack to watch the clips like i the guy asked her like about her hair

6:00Paige DeSorbo: because she changed her wig and he didn't know it was a wig and then she loved it because she was like no my wig is really good you can't even tell but like why are they talking about this on trial

6:11Hannah Berner: i'm so embarrassed for that lawyer like i keep getting like tingles every time he speaks do you know like the what happened okay for anyone who doesn't know cardi b is getting sued for 24 million by a security guard. So long story short, she is at a doctor's office, specifically an OBGYN because she was like single. Because she was, I have no idea if she was single or not. Because she was pregnant, but it was early on. I think she was only like 12 weeks, whatever. So she's coming out of the doctor's office and there's a security guard there and she hears the security guard say, oh my God, that's Cardi B.

6:53Hannah Berner: then the security guard starts following her and cardi b can feel that she's filming her so cardi b is like can you please not film me like aren't you a security guard like what are you doing and the security guards like basically i can do whatever i want they start they start yelling at each other the receptionist hears it she comes out she testifies that she's like trying to pull like get in the middle of them but she's facing the security guard being like what are you doing like you are at work then the doctor hears it the doctor comes out he's saying like can you guys stop they both testify that cardi b did not hit this girl and this girl was suing her for 24 million saying that she hit her in the face well oh yeah and also apparently the security guard was

7:36Paige DeSorbo: like you have to leave and it's like illegal to not listen to the security guard but cardi b was like what have i done yeah and she was like obviously she knew i was a patient i was at a doctor's office yeah and she wasn't treating her like a patient she was treating her like she was

7:53Hannah Berner: a celeb that she was like obviously i didn't like try and hit this girl i was pregnant like and she was i mean the funniest clips is like she was bigger than me and

8:04Paige DeSorbo: she's like did i think about it yes did i weigh the pros and cons yes did my woman in stem and i literally was like this is logistically physically and physics not gonna work the guy was like the

8:16Hannah Berner: lawyer was like did you call her fat and she was like no I didn't call her fat I called her a bitch no but it's so scary like it's anyone can say anything about you and everyone thinks it's true and Cardi B had to go to the lengths of sitting in a courtroom you can tell that the judge and everyone is just like how did this even make it this far like and it's the difference is people that have nothing to lose and people that have something to lose.

8:47Paige DeSorbo: Well, Cardi B also, I think famously was like one of the first to sue one of these like vlogs. I think she called her a prostitute or something. Cardi B sued the girl. Good. But some people need to be held accountable. You can't just say random shit.

9:03Hannah Berner: No, it's there was like an influencer on TikTok that was like, oh, I went to a concert and a girl came up to me and said, I'm going to go on TikTok and say you pushed me. And she went on TikTok and said this girl pushed her. Like, people are so insane. It's so scary.

9:18Paige DeSorbo: Well, we're also at a time, they're calling it the attention economy, where people just want attention. And when they accuse people of things, you can get a short amount of attention. But it's not good karma if you're lying.

9:32Hannah Berner: It's so funny because this is the summer I literally minded my own business.

9:37Paige DeSorbo: It's none of our business. No, it's not worth it. It's none of our business.

9:41Hannah Berner: None of our business tour. we've been steady minding our own business you know why i posted that into story it's because

9:48Paige DeSorbo: i was thinking about september is a muck but that's the right word i don't know which depends on what you're trying to say yeah i mean it absolutely could be and i just thought about you have daphne thriving i'm about to go on my stand-up tour yeah it's summer break is over

10:06Hannah Berner: school is starting yeah get your plaid skirts ready get your plaid skirts ready wait yeah speaking of school did you watch the documentary on net page i watched it last night with des who

10:21Paige DeSorbo: never watches documentaries with me but even he got hooked to this we can't give it away no but when i tell you i got agita through my whole body it's called unknown number it's on

10:34Hannah Berner: Netflix it is one of the most fucked up things most fucked up things I I literally have more questions at the end of it than I did when it started like I'm so basically there was this this young couple they were literally 12 it was from 12 to 14 they were dating and they were getting these awful harassment text messages I mean like 40 a day for two years and mind you

11:02Paige DeSorbo: which is apparently apparently extremely small town where in the beginning they're just like we have nothing to do like our idea of like an activity is just walking through the town that has like two bars it said they had like 60 kids in each class 60 kids in each class and the whole school is preschool through you know senior year yeah so they start this they start getting text messages from a random number that's horrifying and they're trying to figure out to through the documentary because over two years and tell me if you didn't feel this like i mean it's cyber bullying but like every day seeing horrible things about yourself yeah and this girl is like goes from being this happy successful athletic person to this like insecure quit her basketball team from this one person sending her messages um and they get to the bottom of who sent it

11:55Hannah Berner: and it's unreal i'm not giving away fbi involved they had to get the fbi involved it was a man

12:01Paige DeSorbo: And so I was first like, if you guys just got one woman involved from the beginning, she would have found out who sent the text immediately.

12:07Hannah Berner: I feel like, why isn't the FBI getting involved in more things?

12:11Paige DeSorbo: Period.

12:12Hannah Berner: Like, I need, as president, I would give every area their own FBI. Like, the FBI needs to be more readily accessible to me, I feel like.

12:26Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, like, I don't know what the FBI's number is.

12:28Hannah Berner: no one told me but I know my taxes are going there you know like why can't I put in a request to the FBI for something oh yeah like customer service yeah what's something you would want the FBI to solve for you right now well right now I don't have anything but who knows but but who

12:47Paige DeSorbo: knows I want to have the option yeah yeah I do think it's weird to have like these grown men talking about trying to find who texted who and what girl group i'm like let a woman handle this she's like i think it was these girls but i'm like bro wait another thing that's really scary

13:05Hannah Berner: is that like you can get your phone dumped like the government can take your phone dump it take everything out of it and pretty much know everything you've ever done and ever said any website you've ever got 2020 was a dark time for you isn't that so crazy to think about

13:28Paige DeSorbo: well it's crazy because also if someone sues you all that shit is out in the open yeah we're stressing everyone out right now everyone's stressed they're like i'm just trying to listen to giggly squad to relax but i think we should go into a couple questions about standing on

13:44Hannah Berner: business to see if we can help oh so we all legitimately this is still a bit we're doing

13:50Paige DeSorbo: welcome to tim robbins episode also i'm you know what's happening i'm wearing headphones today so i feel like a male podcaster okay yeah okay but this is the kind of questions i got how do you guys prioritize sleep great question um if you believe it you can do it you guys anything can

14:10Hannah Berner: be a priority if you prioritize it okay I don't feel like I prioritize sleep I just feel like when it is time to go to bed where are you like when your body shuts down it shuts down it's none of my business where I sleep and why I'm just like what do you mean you're not prioritizing it are you home when it's like oh like 10 30 11 p.m get in the bed is there a wall to lean on is there a

14:36Paige DeSorbo: moving vehicle because if there is I'm asleep I have a question for you were you the kind of girl

14:42Hannah Berner: okay there's two types of people there is wait this is a great question this is a great question are you the kind of girl that's like I'll stay up late and get it done or are you the kind of girl that's I'll go to sleep now I'll wake up early and I'll do it great question I'm staying up late

15:01Paige DeSorbo: and getting it done because someone told me even if you feel like your brain isn't working if you try to memorize stuff late at night in the morning like during sleep it'll kind of process it I've never woken up in the morning to do something and like done it well have I written some crazy shit in essays and woke up the next morning and been like it's not English I've never woken up early to do get any no I've woken up early because I've been forced to but am I proud of who I am in that moment no have I done anything positive for the world no I rather stay up at till 4 a.m.

15:35Hannah Berner: there

15:35Paige DeSorbo: was nothing more fun i don't know because you didn't like really go to college no but like you did you study in libraries ever um sometimes like yeah like in between classes

15:48Hannah Berner: but i know i was like a loss and it was the library one time i was like where's the water

15:53Paige DeSorbo: fountain in here so we it would be like a sunday and we'd get back from tennis and i'd be like i have a huge test tomorrow and me and becca would go and buy a ton of snacks and a bunch of energy drinks and we'd and get a good seat in the library and then you just go for hours and try not to talk and distract each other but we would the whole time but that was like fun and then it would be like 1 a.m and I'd be like oh my god I didn't do anything yet and she'd be like me neither and be

16:19Hannah Berner: like and then yeah okay yeah I never had that experience that's very college to just like be

16:27Paige DeSorbo: like I still have dreams being like okay I have to find a spot at the library because I have so much to memorize or like i have to write an essay everyone shut the fuck up um which side note i'm so happy at the u.s open there was a moment we're watching coco goff where page and her buddy you know they were getting very chatty and i respect women in the arts so i said i respect this however i'm gonna sit in front of you guys because i actually want to focus on this match but i don't

16:55Hannah Berner: want to be like like no you're making this sound so much more cordial than what it was in the moment okay and don't say my buddy as if you've never met my friend i brought my friend alexa to the u.s open it was alexa me then hannah you and alexa had different idea of a fun time at the open

17:16Paige DeSorbo: alexa kept asking me where to get chicken fingers i said this is the emirate suite babe this is the emirate suite have some respect no alexa's chatty kathy i said there's some roasted chicken yeah with some frisee on it no she she's chatty we hadn't seen each other in a while i had

17:34Hannah Berner: a lot to catch up on my ear was full love alexa but i came back and i was like wait i don't have to sit with these bitches so i said hannah literally was like oh i'm going to the bathroom she comes back to the seats i watch her go one row down below us and she goes and like with empty seats as if and then she pretended as if oh how did i get down here you know what i'm just no i

17:56Paige DeSorbo: I was like locked into this match. And this is the thing about watching matches. I like to watch the entire thing because you see the moods of the players. You see like the momentum switches. Like there's so much to watch. And look, I wanted that moment. But then the girls who were sitting there come in and they were like, you have to move. Then I found myself in an interesting position. So I was wearing a short dress and I was in the corner. So then she had to come back up to us like a awkwardly hop up. Bad puppy. Tail between my legs. And thank God they didn't get a video of me getting kicked out of my seat.

18:32Paige DeSorbo: They just got us giggling.

18:35Hannah Berner: No, it was a really fun time, though. But there were multiple times where even I turned to Alexa and said, this is the US Open.

18:43Paige DeSorbo: I'm in focus mode.

18:44Hannah Berner: You're a serious watcher.

18:45Paige DeSorbo: This is my art. So anyway, that's how we prioritize sleep. Is the US Open over now?

18:52Hannah Berner: No, there's a whole another week of it. oh my god you well you'll be getting no sleep no sleep till the u.s open is over okay what's the next question um this is actually more fun than i thought i'm sorry for shitting on

19:08Paige DeSorbo: because at the end of the day we love talking about ourselves so it doesn't matter what the questions are about how this is fun how do you decide which feedback to listen to and what not to listen to were you listening yeah how do you decide what feedback to listen to and what feedback

19:27Hannah Berner: to not listen to I feel like that's all a gut reaction I feel like it's also gets to a point

19:33Paige DeSorbo: when I was younger like I listened to anyone older than me but then you get to a point as you get older where I'm like I'm not getting advice from people who haven't done what I'm trying to do yeah I think it's people that you ultimately I listen to people that I would want

19:50Hannah Berner: to if I had to trade lives with them would I be okay with it and then that's who I would listen to or like do they have something that I'm trying to achieve then I would listen to them but also I

20:02Paige DeSorbo: would argue I've definitely talked to people before that have done things that I'm trying to achieve and it gave me advice but you can't always listen to people who don't know who you are yeah because sometimes they'll give you advice for someone who's like them when you're different so i also take advice from people who know me to my core because even if they haven't accomplished things i want like they know who i am and they could give me advice based on how they know i react to things and like how i perform best it's kind of like how some coaches they never win the us open but they're really good coaches because they understand people i like to take everything with a grain of salt yes also i don't i'm i feel like people's feedback is not always your business

20:42Hannah Berner: wait and also at the same time i don't listen to anyone no let's say that okay let's let's be 100

20:47Paige DeSorbo: be honest we've never listened to anyone ever um if we listen to people we'd never be here i i listen politely to things i like i like feedback in terms of like i'll take it i think

21:00Hannah Berner: it's important and this is like business and personal i think it's important to have a three-person roster that you can that if you think you're making like the wrong decision in something or something's happened to you and you need advice that you can go to three different people that you admire that know you that you have a like a close relationship with run it by them

21:24Paige DeSorbo: and like then that's how I would that's how I I do think too many cooks do spoil the broth okay you're really combative today and what are these goddamn analogies I agree with you I know

21:38Hannah Berner: sorry you also just made that up too many cooks spoil the broth I've never made a broth in my

21:44Paige DeSorbo: life I've never made a broth you're right no no but I agree with you but I have definitely done things where I start asking everyone and I think what you learn is if you have to ask everyone you already know the answer wait broth just made me think of it have you ever had bone broth i knew you were gonna say that because it's trending is it trending it was trending for sure there were like a lot of bone broth businesses but so was um bulletproof coffee okay we'll listen to this

22:14Hannah Berner: where's that where's froyo i don't even know where is all the froyo wait where are all the 16 handles No, like, rest in peace.

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26:22Hannah Berner: Whether my clothes have a stain or not, I'm using Tide Evo. Try the new Tide Evo Super Concentrated Laundry Detergent today. I watched the Brooks Nader and her sister show, Love Thy Nader. You've been waiting for this. I've been waiting for this show. What is your initial reaction? My initial reaction was, oh my God, I can't believe they're showing this. Oh my God, I can't believe they're being this. I feel like everyone has been complaining recently how we're never going to have early 2000s reality TV.

26:55Paige DeSorbo: Love Thy Nader is the closest thing we're getting to it. You've been saying this since day one. In your gut, you felt it.

27:02Hannah Berner: In my gut, I said I think the Brooks Nader show is going to pop the F off. And the beginning, the first like it's, I think it was like eight episodes. I watched the whole thing in a weekend. The first four episodes were all very much getting to know them and about her and Gleb and like the fall of their relationship. But the last four episodes were all about Brooks and her relationship with Ozumbek. and I thought it was very interesting like how open she was and like serious and how all the girls said that they had been on it how Brooks has been on it for two years how they know more people on it than not and it was just so eye-opening because I feel like we hear about it a lot and like I mean there are times where I'm just like oh my god like how is everyone getting it it's like this is this is like really stressful it's a lot of pressure and so like for them to be talking about it and be supermodels and like pixie sticks it's it was just really crazy and

28:05Paige DeSorbo: i couldn't believe that they were showing it well i love the transparency yeah it was extremely transparent yeah those them they all have amazing hair i mean it really is the hair it's funny that's how the kardashians started with like the great hair speaking of kardashians

28:21Hannah Berner: and you know how I feel about Kimberly Noel. Nothing could ever make me hate her. I am sorry to say that I agree with the criticism online of people saying that she lets North dress a little inappropriate for a 12-year-old.

28:38Paige DeSorbo: Is that what's going on? She wore a corset?

28:41Hannah Berner: She wore this corset and miniskirt and she had dyed bright, I think it was blue and purple hair and like her boobs were like pushed up and she had like big like platform like combat you went

28:55Paige DeSorbo: to catholic school see that's just a normal day in public school yeah but 12 preteen we're talking preteen i i feel like the bigger issue is that they're so famous that when her daughter wears

29:07Hannah Berner: an outfit it's posted everywhere yeah which like i don't even know how to wrap my head around like it's scary i know i actually even feel icky that i'm even talking about a 12 year old's outfit

29:19Paige DeSorbo: yeah self-awareness self-awareness self-awareness um one more thing about feedback which i just realized yeah there's something too where like you get social media you get some followers and people start being like too nice to you like people start being real with you like i feel like something happened where i told des i was like oh this happened but everyone said they liked it and des was like yeah because they fucking sucked up to you and i was like oh like you have like yes people there's like yes people can happen in your life yeah yeah yeah i get mad at that like i want

29:53Hannah Berner: everyone to be so real with me like i don't know if anyone italian couldn't have that no yeah i've there's no in new york it's not a lot i feel like in la i think in the northeast if you don't have at least three of your closest confidants telling you the moment you fuck up you're you don't live

30:12Paige DeSorbo: in the northeast a hundred percent so anyway thank you guys for keeping it real with me from day one keep me humble and you know who's my biggest op my husband call me out every day my mom call me out every day you on my shit um so okay i forgot we were doing business questions yeah we're in how do you decide what to take on verse outsource oh well look outsourcing first of all outsourcing is a privilege i do have to say that giggly squad even though it's still pretty bare bones i feel like we really only outsource admin we only outsource admin um but like we started like i was editing the pod the whole time um page was literally like managing all the merch stuff and emails remember we got in a fight because both of us weren't responding to any of the

31:04Hannah Berner: customer service emails almost six years ago i think that's what happens we realized that neither

31:09Paige DeSorbo: of us want to respond to customer service emails yeah and then we were like i can't do like i can't do computer stuff no so it's being honest too about like like everyone we're a team so anything that we can't do find someone who does it better i want to be surrounded by people who are smarter than me i want to be surrounded by people who enjoy what they're doing so it's like if if you

31:31Hannah Berner: don't enjoy something I don't want to make you do it I also feel like we're very much best idea wins people like we're not for sure and I feel like that also comes with like being women in business we're a lot more collaborative and like like I don't think I go anywhere and I'm the boss of people and anyone's scared of me or like scared to tell me an idea that's like I'm like it's probably better like i need to hear them all like you know well if you have to like empower people

32:04Paige DeSorbo: who are working with you to make them feel like they will be heard and i think it's because we have had shitty bosses at least i have where i know how it feels like to feel like you can't speak up or that like anything you say can and will be used against you what wait i'm really jealous of Amy Poehler right now what is she doing she had Judge Judy on her pod is it out yet or it comes out or I think I don't know if it comes out yet but I saw the photo and I was like that is that is the most incredible guest I want to get yelled at by Judge Judy I just want I wish Judge

32:41Hannah Berner: Judy had a show that was like queer eye for the straight guy like that vibe where like she got a download on your life and like the five things you're grappling with and she just kind of came in and was like no no no change this figure it out i'm obsessed with older women who are exasperated origin of the word i couldn't tell if you disagreed i didn't know what was happening

33:08Paige DeSorbo: your brain froze stop exasperated like like they're over it like older women who are just like had enough of everyone's shit what is exuberant exuberant is like a lot okay yep okay

33:22Hannah Berner: and you guys this is a business pod we're learning words okay and back to school so like you have to

33:29Paige DeSorbo: spell them on friday to school with this with giggly squad oh this is really funny are you guys this way in meetings or did the giggles turn off great question i don't think the giggles have ever

33:41Hannah Berner: turned off i i don't think we've ever messed up a meeting because we've been ourselves

33:51Paige DeSorbo: um well well there's definitely times where like we're bombing but killing with each other because other people are in like nine to fives and they don't want to be there and we're like how y 'all doing and they're like okay let's get to the point well we're creatives

34:08Hannah Berner: everyone we're talking to like on zooms or in meetings is the majority of them are our age so like we don't go to any stuffy meetings to begin with anyway well and then if someone's a giggler

34:19Paige DeSorbo: i'm like okay let's turn it on page let's give them the experience then it's then it's literally just giggly squad live we're like okay next slide no once there was a big meeting with someone who worked at an agency there was like 20 people and one of the guys I knew who was like flaming gay we used to party with and I made a joke like oh yeah me and him used to hook up which I guess there were levels to that joke and I guess it wasn't appropriate from an HR setting and let's just say it bombed and then I had to like backtrack and be like by the way we haven't hooked up and then I'm like I'm not about to out him right now next thing you know it didn't go well but next you know you're muted indefinitely my favorite thing to do is like get on a zoom kind of late and be like oh oh my god i can't figure out my how zoom works and then complain

35:10Hannah Berner: about zoom no that's me on google meets i'm just like sorry um the other day i actually couldn't figure out my google meets and i left the meeting and i texted my assistant i was like i literally I freaking hate it Okay anyway Final question

35:26Paige DeSorbo: Should you switch careers at 30? Yeah That's the perfect time to switch careers I think it's the perfect time To switch careers Yep Yes Switch careers at 40, at 50, at 60 Switch it

35:45Hannah Berner: There's nothing in my early 30s That I'm like that I like actively regret but there are random things that at like 32 and about to turn 33 that I'm like oh I should have done that when I was 30 and I'd be so much more ahead now.

36:02Paige DeSorbo: Yeah I feel like your 20s you needed to figure some shit out and a lot of people ask like how do I know what I want to do when there's so many options I always say it's literally like dory finding nemo just keep swimming marilyn monroe said that like literally just keep swimming keep moving the worst thing you can do is stop so like your 20s is like just moving around like a crazy like a squirrel like chasing walnuts going down different paths and not walnuts chasing what do squirrels eat just nuts nuts sorry i didn't i didn't want to offend the squirrel

36:38Hannah Berner: community there actually is a squirrel community is there no there literally is i think there was like a squirrel like a squirrel incident like a couple months ago i'm not on tiktok like people were up in fucking arms and i don't have the context or the background so i'm actually not gonna speak on it i'm not speaking on it i actually just got sued by a squirrel for i have a defamation we lawsuit up final thing about cardi b i just have to give respect to

37:12Paige DeSorbo: her glam team they're killing it they're killing it because if you're gonna have to show up on camera i don't care if it's a deposition or it's a red carpet you're serving looks

37:22Hannah Berner: and it's just i love that she's sitting there and she's just like i look good i'm clearly winning like you're not taking my money like now i'm just here for fun and one thing about cardi is like she can kiki like you give her a microphone and she's gonna

37:40Paige DeSorbo: be entertaining so i'm glad she's entertaining all of us and herself during this hard time yeah looks are great i was in mississippi last week oh yeah i saw that on instagram you went for 24 hours i was i went to oxford mississippi and how was that you did the tiktok i told you to do i did a tiktok it was an adorable town yeah and one thing about me you know i'm gonna find the good place to eat it's something deep in my core i i love a diner yep and i love the authentic places i walked in and i looked at this menu when i tell you i thought i was in europe i couldn't read anything on the menu it was like collar casserole butter fried steak okra i said ma 'am because i'm in the south ma 'am what is this can you translate this for me you said i bet the chinese food here is terrible no but like i was so excited but everything was like a different um i was like is chicken fried steak chicken or steak how many times do we have to have this debacle yeah she's like it's steak that's fried like chicken and i go again doesn't make sense because it means it's fried like steak.

38:54Hannah Berner: I've had it one time. It's pretty good. I still don't get like the whole thing.

39:05Paige DeSorbo: But everything, a lot of casseroles, a lot of casseroles. And I was so excited. They brought so much food. It was like 12 bucks and it was the most food I've ever seen. This is at 12 p.m., by the way, like 1230. I barely finish. And she comes up to me and she goes.

39:23Hannah Berner: Like at night? No. In the afternoon. In the afternoon.

39:28Paige DeSorbo: And she goes, do you want dessert? I was like, ma 'am, it is 12, 15 p.m. And I'm an eater. Yeah. I'm an eater. But this was another level. I'm not a sweets. No. Not in the middle of the day.

39:40Hannah Berner: That's why like pancakes for the table like was never like about you. No, it was about the overall energy. It was the overall energy and vibe that we that I specifically needed. but like it's like when you don't drink but you're really supportive for everyone thank you yeah you metaphorically threw the pancakes over your shoulder

40:01Paige DeSorbo: and you know i'll have a bite of a pancake i'm not a fucking alien wait i'll have a sip i'm not taking the whole thing you freak yeah i don't have to chug it but um it was so cool this place i loved everyone um then she was like do you want sweet tea i literally had to announce like i'm from the north and we how sweet are we talking ma 'am yeah is it arizona tea suite is it cocaine i'm gonna bash my head through a wall suite were you at ole miss oh okay they said we're ole miss they wear pearls to the football games and then they the sorority girls were like can you throw up throw up my like sorority signal and i was like girls i don't know what gang signs you're trying to get me to do on camera but i'm feeling trapped and i'm feeling scared and i don't understand your guys's language and they were like just put your finger and i was like nope how they make hearts is i i mean they're double jointed i don't speak your mississippi sign language and i don't i don't want to get trapped in one of y 'all's things um but it was cute because i go to these colleges these kids they keep me young so i did the as you said to do charlie xcx yeah it was pretty funny because i was like do you think i want to do fucking boom boom clap at a fucking college no it's so good i love that sound it was so good so um i had fun in mississippi i love when people are like where's page and I'm like babe she's not on tour right now literally I I feel like I had the quietest

41:42Hannah Berner: summer like I I had a list in my phone of like things I wanted to do like places I wanted to go to dinner and like stores I wanted to go to and I looked at it the other day and I did two of the things out of like the 20 that I had and I was actually so happy because I was like I rested

41:58Paige DeSorbo: I literally stayed in and rested I love that you weren't chasing or forcing and you were within yourself no I didn't even know no I really here's the other thing I feel like I this summer was like coming down yeah you know i feel like you were in rehab from cortisol levels no seriously i was regulating my nervous system this summer and do we know what that means and are we doctors no

42:35Hannah Berner: no but like truly i do feel like my cortisol levels were like lowering just like not filming

42:43Paige DeSorbo: tv yeah it is fucked up though i feel like it took me like a month to actually understand what relaxing was and now it's about to go crazy but i think it's it's good we have to know what each side of life is like no balance so like we're we are so similar in terms of like we're always in

43:05Hannah Berner: our heads and like and like analyzing things so we're so like mentally exhausted sometimes that And I'm like, you're fighting fights. There are real fights happening. Do you know that Megan Salter sound where she's talking about being in London? She's like, and sometimes you're just in a restaurant. You find yourself wanting to be like, get me out of here.

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47:28Paige DeSorbo: I recently experienced like socially I feel like if you have more than one social event in that day like that's fucking crazy like I went to this like paddle tournament which was really fun then I went home and my mom was singing jazz which is really fucking cool but I was like we got two social events in one day obviously I went to support my mom next day hadn't drank at all was like I'm hung over I can't speak to anyone doing two social events a day like isn't

48:05Hannah Berner: normal but then they expect you to do like six zoom meetings in a day as someone who's about to go away for like a full wedding weekend and I actually don't think I go to as many weddings as some people I know in my 32 years on this earth I feel like I've thought about my wedding since I was like five years old and it has changed every year since then most recently my new thing in my head is you won't catch me dead hosting a welcome party the thought of the thought of mixing and mingling two nights before then knowing I have to socialize the next night then knowing that the main social event is in three nights I have to look good three nights in a row that's actually not how my science works but i think you let other people do it

48:59Paige DeSorbo: be like you all can congregate here if that's your journey but i'm not coming for the meet and greet

49:05Hannah Berner: talk amongst yourselves like i nope i imagine my welcome party just has a cardboard cut out of me it's like she wishes she could be here the first time i see you on your wedding weekend

49:19Paige DeSorbo: is when you're walking down the aisle. I want it to be like, 100%. There she is. And then no one's going to be able to know where you are. Where'd she go? Where'd she go? She's in the limo. She left.

49:30Hannah Berner: And also, like in my future wedding, you know, when you're at a wedding and you're like, oh my God, like I really want to go, but like who do I have to say bye to? No one would ever have to feel bad not saying bye to me. Don't say bye to me, actually. Scree on out of there. Get home.

49:46Paige DeSorbo: I still get so much anxiety over, Like you sit down at the table. Who are you sitting next to? Right. I don't know if it's like I'm an empath, but like I cannot. If I feel like someone's being left out, like that's stressing me out. No, I'm definitely packing my beta blockers.

50:02Hannah Berner: I mean, get a grip.

50:04Paige DeSorbo: If someone's ignoring me, I'm actually happy.

50:06Hannah Berner: In the year 2025, you think I'm raw dogging weddings? You got something wrong with you.

50:12Paige DeSorbo: I mean, there's just no way. I don't think you're – I think you've gone too far with the beta blockers. I don't think you're supposed to use it as a social thing. I thought it was for like performing, which again, let's be honest, me at a bridal party, I'm performing. No, me anywhere is performing. Yeah.

50:27Hannah Berner: Are you kidding? I have looks, honey.

50:29Paige DeSorbo: Do you know what? You know, people in Europe don't smile.

50:35Paige DeSorbo: No. Do you know, like in America, we have to smile so much. People in Europe will just sit down and not smile. And they'll be like, look at those stupid Americans.

50:43Hannah Berner: Yeah.

50:43Paige DeSorbo: Goofy smiling everywhere. And it's not that they're not happy. they're just i feel like sometimes i come home and i'm like damn you've been forcing a smile

50:51Hannah Berner: i don't and that's why people think i mean people think i'm nice no people do which you are i i am

51:01Paige DeSorbo: you but no one no one deserves being treated like that when people think you're nice people

51:07Hannah Berner: take advantage of you people are more willing to ask you things everyone asks me um directions which you might as well ask a fucking squirrel yeah people are more like trusting of you yeah

51:20Paige DeSorbo: yeah which is why if i wanted to start a multi-level marketing scheme i could you could start a cult i had a comment yeah that i felt to my core i have to admit something you guys i haven't been wearing my invisalign for months now yeah and i didn't think anyone noticed until we got a comment that said don't get veneers now that's a loaded comment there's layers that is a fucking layered cake basically she's saying your teeth are wonky but not as wonky as it would look they're unique if you got veneers they make you pretty it's like when someone says to someone don't get a nose job and you're like do you think i was thinking of getting a nose job

52:13Hannah Berner: someone recently commented on mine and said really good nose job and i took that as a compliment you know because i'm like if you think i got a nose job actually thank you because that means you think my nose looks i think you're implying looks really good i would never defend i would never wanted to fend some of these celebs however there's a lot of side-by-side photos that look

52:37Paige DeSorbo: like we've got work done yeah a hundred percent because it's like even in one day i could look like i got work done yeah from the angles from the lighting well think about just how different you look in the course of one month oh if i'm in my luteal phase hello can i be honest i don't know what luteal phase is i just love saying it i've been saying everyone's like yes and i'm like yes it's like before or after it's one it's it's in it it's in it and that is so true what did you

53:12Hannah Berner: you wrote you had a bunch of notes this week okay my first one is i think that me and you should make it like a point to go to copenhagen fashion week next year wait i would love that i just think we really should buckle down and try and go even if like we don't get in anywhere or they don't know who we are at all i don't care no i just want to go and watch the girls walk down the street and like go to cute lunch spots with you we could go for like four days all i want to do is eat people watch thrift shop yeah i think we should plan on that next september can we bring back

53:50Paige DeSorbo: people watching i feel like this generation doesn't do it because they're on their phones People watching isn't a hobby. That's a real hobby. There's actual people watching at the Olympics.

54:00Hannah Berner: There's a lack of TikTok videos of people falling and people catching it on camera.

54:05Paige DeSorbo: All we did in college was find some ice, sit there, have a drink, watch people slip, be like, post it online.

54:13Hannah Berner: Bring back people watching. Next on my docket, the summer I turned pretty men's hair. I'm speaking directly to the moms. what's going on with the kids male hair it looks like a mop recently and I'm from a mop on their

54:31Paige DeSorbo: head I'm from the early 2000s we did the little I'm from a gel flip I'm from a shaved side I'm

54:38Hannah Berner: from like maybe you have like a longer shaggier hair even the mushroom cut was coiffed this mullet looking inverted penis hair oh it looks like balls it looks like pubes on the head yeah i'm so sick of it and i don't know if this is just me being old being like the kids how do the kids wear their hair these days but they look bad they look bad they look yeah they look but they also i

55:05Paige DeSorbo: told you they put effort into it they get it permed they like get it lined up like it's a request i don't know who started it bryce hall i don't know who started it no he's like isn't he

55:18Hannah Berner: like 30 it's been i'm talking kids i'm talking like 17 18 19 i know but i think it started as

55:27Paige DeSorbo: a trend during covid maybe where kids were like growing out their hair and it became like cool yeah but it is like a reverse mullet yeah it looks like it looks like balls okay next in my docket

55:41Hannah Berner: sometimes i love commenting on people's tiktoks instagrams i love being like you look so cute where's that outfit from something funny break up with your boyfriend like all different things i like to comment sometimes i will write a comment and and and like post it and then i'll be like oh my god does that sound like if you gave that a different inflection that could be she could have read it as like wow cute polka dots when i meant it so then sometimes i'll find myself in my bed at like midnight rereading my comment aloud and i've and i've that's when i've

56:22Paige DeSorbo: had enough internet for the day that's when you cut yourself off visiting hours are over she'll get it i think when gigglers see our comments they literally hear our voice that's what i'm hoping

56:33Hannah Berner: but some people some people don't everyone gets how sarcast yeah not everyone gets it um and it's

56:42Paige DeSorbo: funny because remember when we first started like texting and everyone was like people can't sense your tone people can't sense your tone but now that's all people do no one talks since so it's so no one knows anyone's tone and then the internet is just like yeah no one understands tones

56:59Hannah Berner: Wait speaking of the internet being In an uproar and unpopular I think I have the unpopular opinion In it and I would never defend a man But also like I might say something nice About them once in a while

57:11Paige DeSorbo: Even a blind squirrel finds a nut

57:16Hannah Berner: Clock is right twice a day

57:17Paige DeSorbo: Even a broken clock is right twice a day Continue What is with my sayings today

57:24Hannah Berner: No what is going on you've been hanging out with us For too many consecutive days You're literally Mr. Rogers right now. Okay, so this girl posted this TikTok video about how she forgot her lunch and she called her husband and was like, can you bring me lunch? And he brought her like a little lunchbox, like little cooler thing. And as she's pulling things out, he just like kept everything in the bags from home. So he gave her like the bag of Milano cookies, the bag of pretzels, her leftover Chipotle from like the night before, a bag of like i don't know like almonds whatever then he gave her a bag of dog food and on the post-it he wrote dog food because you're my dog d-a-w-g next note said but actually bring this back because we are low on dog food and so she's like doing like the video like how like oh this is so funny like cute my husband is initial thoughts i think it's fun i think it's

58:25Paige DeSorbo: cute i think he has too much time on his hands i want my man to be too busy to be like thinking up a bit with the dog go then the time you wrote that note you could have gotten dog food that's

58:36Hannah Berner: a married person's perspective okay so the internet was they were unraveling they couldn't they were girding their loins they were clutching their pearls they were like and look i'm the first one to sense a male's energy in a girl's video and be like break up with that guy he either wants to be you date your brother or is jealous of you this is cute i took no offense it was he like weaponizing his incompetence like could he put it in like ziploc bags or like make her a sandwich maybe he was running to work too could he have stopped at a drive-thru maybe he didn't want to spend money that's the thing with the internet they're like well maybe well maybe what do you ever think of this it's like just shut the fuck up this is the thing we're all dealing with a lot

59:20Paige DeSorbo: right now and we're putting it in the wrong places okay we're putting it in the wrong places do not attack this husband for not like i and i get it we're angry i get it we're angry at it i get it i get it i'm angry you're angry don't no stop stop honestly that's better than half the

59:41Hannah Berner: boyfriends those people probably have right i just feel like they were unnecessarily like really mad at this guy they were pointing out they were like he um like he could why didn't he just go to the store and get more dog food like he's acknowledging that there's not a lot at home i'm like have you ever have you ever had a boyfriend like have you ever talked to your boyfriend before like no and also if my boyfriend gave me about it like i'm joking if my boyfriend gave me the whole bag of milano cookies i'd be like he cares about me he loves me he knows what i like i just i wasn't as offended by it as the internet was i was like okay she had a funny joke with her boyfriend and he wrote dog d-a-w-g he was he was obviously saying it like you're my friend

1:00:26Paige DeSorbo: not like i own you you're my dog like no chill out everyone one thing too that's really bad about the comment section which i support women in the arts but have you ever watched a video and felt a type of way and then you read them every single night multiple times you go that's actually my biggest hobby is watching a video and then you go in the comments and it's not how you felt and then you find yourself changing what you felt because of what the comments were and you're like oh i'm so wrong like they're right when if there weren't comments you would have stuck to your guns and felt the type of way but i feel like videos if one comment starts getting traction

1:01:05Hannah Berner: everyone just starts agreeing with the group we do support women but not all of them not all of them because some of them are terrifying terrifying they've got nothing to lose and they're scary scary and like i'm two seconds away from calling cardi b and being like hey

1:01:27Paige DeSorbo: help i'm gonna get back onto tiktok because i've picked i took a month off i'm getting I know you need to get back on. I need to get back on.

1:01:35Hannah Berner: A lot's going on over there.

1:01:36Paige DeSorbo: I know, but I'm scared. And that's why. It's scary. It's scary. What's this thing about like pistachio chocolate? What's the thing about it? See, this is me. I'm not online anymore. I don't know what's going on.

1:01:48Hannah Berner: You're not talking about the Dubai chocolate.

1:01:51Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, I am. What's Dubai chocolate? Hannah.

1:01:55Hannah Berner: I haven't been online. In what? Two years? No, I've never. It's never come across my desk. Is this the turn of the century? What are you talking? Dubai chocolate was so last year, like a year ago. I've been eating Dubai chocolate now for a year and a half. Is it pistachio? It's the best thing ever. Where do you get it? You know what? I have a place right by me. It's called Nuts Factory. I'll get you some and I'll bring them. Oh, you got a guy. I got a guy.

1:02:22Paige DeSorbo: You got a connect for some Dubai chocolate.

1:02:29Hannah Berner: You know what? Let me hit up my guy. look i got a guy who got a guy i'll get it for you don't have to worry about it

1:02:35Paige DeSorbo: not that fake ass dubai that good dubai not that fake this is loaded with all the dubai this is if i smoke weed how i talk wait till you smell this

1:02:46Hannah Berner: what did you say art behind bed about okay so i want to get like i feel so millennial i've had this johnny depp and um kate moss kate moss picture behind my bed it's only it's behind my bed because i brought it from my old apartment i never got rid of it custom get it like blown up like i just like found it on pinterest blew it up but i've had it for so long now but i'm like over it i feel like there's so many talented artists yeah that are gigglers yeah that i'm like yeah if i'm online looking for something i want it to be from a girl why would i not just buy it from a girl that like i like that's talented yeah yeah like why am i on wayfair looking for like no

1:03:32Paige DeSorbo: i know like random art pieces and it's always a print of a print that probably started from an

1:03:38Hannah Berner: independent artist and i'm not like i'm not like that bougie where i'm like custom make this i just want to look at your site of like what you already make let me i'll pick something yeah not nothing custom so just like dm me like the artist gigglers that like do stuff like that like it's over my bed

1:03:53Paige DeSorbo: yeah is there a color scheme or like a vibe that you're thinking of well i have my my blue velvet

1:04:01Hannah Berner: couch in my bedroom so it's like it's light and it's airy okay i kind of like in my head want like

1:04:09Paige DeSorbo: a girl sleeping very literal a girl sleeping with a cat a white cat very literal i love that

1:04:19Hannah Berner: anyway wait do you like to sleep i do i prioritize it and that's called a full circle podcast um

1:04:28Paige DeSorbo: you guys thank you for giggling with us quick note um my tour starts i have some tickets left in Oakland this weekend and I'm going to Miramar Florida for the Lady Gang Festival coming up in a couple weeks what do I have um no no thank you no thank you no thank you have a good day goodbye