Giggling about witches, food orders, and tongues

0:15What's up my frozen grapes gigglers. Wasn't that a thing on TikTok? Frozen grapes. Sour grapes. It was the... Frozen sour grape. Grape with the hard shell. Yeah. Which I actually did make once. Yeah. And then... And then it all fell apart. It all fell apart because nothing lasts forever. We were just catching up about our Halloween plans and turns out we have the exact same Halloween plans this year. Like exactly to a T. Which is photoshoot tomorrow and then nothing. I hate Halloween parties but I realize I don't hate dressing up I just don't like dressing up and then having like normal conversations with people in your outfit yeah I like don't know how to navigate that I just remember like like Halloween in New York's crazy like I remember waking up when I had two male roommates and there was like feathers all over the bathroom and I was like who like who fucked a chicken and then cory naming names comes out and he has these khaki pants on still and there's red all over his crotch and he was like so i was grinding on an elmo last night like we had we had fun back in the day but i was so lazy i'd always have like a great a brown sweatshirt and brown ears and i was a bear except for that year you were post malone which was so good.

1:37That was like the first year we became friends. Wait, I was supposed to come on for like three years. Yeah. It's like when I like a meal and I have to eat it. That's what I do with Halloween costumes. I do it for like three years. Anything after 2020? No. What'd you do last year? Oh, you were with me. I did the Australian breakdancer. Oh yeah, I did Fran Drescher. That was really good. Well, this year we're not going to give it away, but we both decided we're not going to go to any parties. We're just going to take photos of ourselves inside. Halloween is actually my mom's birthday. A true Scorpio witch.

2:14A true witch. And she makes her witch's brew, also known as pasta fagioli. When I was younger, one time my little cousin was mad at my mom for something, who knows what. And all I remember is him yelling at her saying, that's why you're born on Halloween because you're a witch.

2:35And I It stuck out in my brain. Like, I still know where I'm standing at my grandma's house. I was like, oh, he's going to have to sit on the steps for like 10 minutes. Well, she's going to give him the colloquio, which you can Google that if you don't know what that is. Also, how's your face holding up? Guys, I can't pass by a mirror without being like. Wait, do you have like you're still like glowing? Well, I was at a, okay, I just did a photo shoot for a skincare company. Okay. So they, so I'm really just skin. They moisturize you. Well, here's the thing. So I get to this photo shoot for the skincare company and they were like, hey, like some of the shots, it's going to be like you washing your face.

3:19So we're going to do like really minimal makeup and we don't retouch because it's skin. And I was like, pardon? Scusi? so everything had to be like I could put like a little concealer on in places but I was but I couldn't do anything I feel like some brands are like super authentic and like obsessed with being authentic then some brands will do a whole makeup shoot without they're like fake lashes yeah or like without the makeup like they'll use other makeup yeah and that's capitalism and we'll just chocolate up to me. Yeah, well, that's showbiz. Okay, let's get into some real stuff because I've been happy.

3:59Sorry, that was the pregame. I was just dabbling. Enough with the get to know yas. Okay? Did you watch the new season of Nobody Wants Us? No. Did you watch the old season of Nobody Wants Us? I did up until like, I watched half of it. Okay. Second season, phenomenal. The acting's amazing. By the way, huge fan. I'm a huge fan of that show. I'm a massive fan of that show. I can't go on TikTok without now getting clips of like Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard and their whole relationship. And it's consumed all of my thoughts. It's consumed all of my thoughts. Here's the thing about him. He has a very successful podcast.

4:46He's very like charming. They've been married for a while. people are like going back and finding interview clips of him talking about Kristen. Yeah. At one point they were like the couple where it was like, oh, they're like the, they were like a Blake Lively Ryan Reynolds. And that, but no fault of, she's an angel. No, she's perfect. She's more than perfect. She's Anna in Frozen. She needs to be protected at all costs. People don't know that. She's the voice of gossip girl. Like she could have. Enough. What has he done? I'm not quite sure. He did an interview and he was like talking about how he's got insecurities of like.

5:27Again, first of all, I'm out. Totally. I can tell you about insecurities. I'm out. But he's like, I have all these insecurities and he like listed them. And they're like all normal ones that everyone has, like the way they look, the way they talk, like whatever. And then he was like, the only time I'm like, I think the word he used was like unbashful, whatever is in relationships where like he thinks he's the prize i dated a man one time that like would repeatedly tell me that he was also the prize and that it should be 50 50 and i was like you're gay you want a boyfriend like i'm sorry i literally cannot watch clips of him talking ill of her anymore and then she there's clips of her being like how she obsessed she is with him yeah if you have a friend who's obsessed with their boyfriend i need you to pull them aside it's terrifying you know what it's giving remember simone biles yes when her boyfriend was kind of i'm a good athlete too but he also was like you know she sent to my dms like i'm the one whatever and look I no I can't one thing okay where's my take yeah okay I can't get me yeah hit them with it get that sometimes I feel like if you just pull people's like public personas of their relationships yes and you judge it based on that totally but I would argue that people's public personas their relationships is better than what it is behind closed doors well of course so like whenever people are like oh yeah they're so cute i'm like yeah that they're literally actors yeah they're actors like when you're on the red carpet obviously he could not touch you for three months but on the red carpet he's gonna put his arm around your waist you know right um so that's one thing i also i feel like with the girls sometimes it's i don't want a guy to be like so obsessed with me and i'm like not as obsessed with him yeah like because i get bored yeah i like it going like back and forth like some weeks i like being like oh i'm the ugly one oh like oh like he's like something about him i'm like oh he's hot this week and then the next week i'm like catch up you gotta catch up but um it's hard to perceive a relationship based on like just old clips i just think like she's so fucking successful yeah then you know what they say a little insecure sometimes you can't have two um headshots in a relationship yeah and I can't mind because my husband's old so true like if Des was 35 and he was like doing his stuff when he was 35 it would be chaos no which what were you saying I was gonna say people get so mad when when like women are like like I very much live in the mindset of like the man should like the girl more and people get mad at that saying like no it should be you should equally love.

8:24The only reason I think the guy should like the girl more is because their role is to protect. So like you, if you're going to protect me, you have to care about me more. I'm not running in front of a bullet for you, you psycho, but you should run in front of one for me. Because you're my protector. If you're not, then what are you doing here? I'll hire someone. I'll hire a bodyguard. I do think in the very beginning, he needs to be the one that's more into it because men are simple they have one way of thinking that's how they'll always be and i get like and i love talking in mass generalizations i love being a feminist i'm all for being a feminist i'm sorry but my number one rule that i really won't go against i'm never reaching out first i'm never dming first i'm never asking you out i'm never give going up to you and giving you my number and i get that like women can be like that's empowering Like, no, you take charge.

9:20Not me. Not me. Because if you don't want me first, then I don't want you back. That's valid. I was like, I was, you know, I love to flirt. So, and I think men are scared. But again, you don't want a man who's so scared. I think men are intimidated. I think men don't know things. So, like, I'm fine with putting out the first, like, hey, what's up? And then seeing, like, if they make it happen. But then I look back not to be like, okay, but, like, Des is the one who DM me. As he should. As he should. And that's romance. A DM is romantic. And that's romantic. So, but look, the truth is, is if you feel like you're forcing it at all in the fucking beginning when you guys are so fucking horny.

9:59Sorry, mom. Like, it's a no. Which brings me to my feed, which is full of Lily Allen and David Harbour. Who, I've seen David Harbour and his scruffy ass walking around New York City before. Okay, I didn't even know they were a couple, let alone had this crazy breakup. well also I didn't actually know she was a singer sorry I'm gonna see you cry and I'll see you did I hit that no is that why you knew it did you sing on the Kelly Clarkson show did you sing on the Kelly Clarkson show mom no i was like watching a clip i go if she sings in front of kelly i'm gonna well a singer and i was like well she's a singer i'm a singer i knew that was i knew that was your mindset going in like well we're both doing our craft okay so people don't know these talk shows beforehand there's a producer who calls you and this producer we were kiki-ing and we had a lot of stories lined up and it goes fast so I didn't know what story might go.

11:13Right. Like they prepare you for 15 minutes of talking when you're really going to talk for three. Yeah. And I had like different bits. I had a joke. I was going to do a monologue. I didn't know. And next thing you know I was just like Kelly I think I can hit the wicked note. I'm so happy I wasn't there because I didn't attempt it though. oh you just said I was like I think I could I wasn't going to disrespect Kelly Clarkson on her own show no I have respect I thought you were like American Idol cool it was on 30 years ago imagine I did it and then it was just silence Kelly Clarkson was like get out she's like actually quitting the show she just goes full Simon Cowell she's incredible I was on the first episode of the Kardashians you know who told me this Desmond Bishop Desmond Bishop calls me and goes pages on the Kardashians.

12:07I'm minding my own business. Watching. Minding my own business. It's a morning. I'm having a slow morning. I said, oh, my girls are back. Let me throw the girls up on TV. I'm sitting there. I'm drinking my coffee. And all of a sudden I hear Kourtney say my, like hear my own stuff. Yes. And I'm like, oh, my God. No one's talking about this. no talking about it well because they couldn't use your actual voice oh yeah oh oh that's what happened i guess nbc or bravo didn't give them yep didn't didn't give them the rights to use my voice and it's your voice yeah and it's your voice i own it no but that's like why i couldn't put i couldn't post my crazy paparazzi pic where my hair was all crazy because because they weren't they didn't give me like they didn't give it to me and getty and my team was like they could sue you for 50k and i was like well i do want likes on this photo you know i that one time when they were trying to sue me for like 30 000 did you get out of it uh yeah i ran out the statue of limitations and that's what can not responding to an email can do this isn't real see ya you just got reminded to see you again

13:25my lawyer was like honestly we just have to make it till like june 7th And I was like, cool. Wait, but the Lily Allen thing. Wait, the Lily Allen thing is crazy. I haven't listened to any of it. I was going to listen to it when I leave the studio. Apparently, it's like. I mean, she gives names. She gives dates. She gives social security numbers. Yeah, she gives like, it starts with like her life when they first move in to like their new apartment that they did an architectural digest in New York City. The Pussy Palace. The Pussy Palace. And then like, I kind of love an album having a. A full story.

13:55I also love that someone's joking that she hasn't written anything in seven years. So, like, he's going to be like, wait, she did what? And she's like, there's no way she did a whole album. She hasn't written a song in seven years. But you know what's a sign of being in a bad relationship? Not creating. Yeah, not doing shit. Like Mandy Moore. Yes. People don't talk about that enough. And Kelly Clarkson. The second they got out of their relationship. By the way, this is a chapter in the Giglias Webbook, which is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, etc. Yeah. sorry my fancy football i lost today yeah you could tell the vibes are bad um so yeah when women are not creating and like shining and taking up space it's normally that they're in a bad relationship but i would argue chris and bell is out here shining shining yeah um but maybe it's because he's busy podcasting i think that's what it is and he has his thing he has his thing but Like, he just doesn't speak about her the way I think that I want her to be spoken about.

14:56I agree. You know? It's also because she's so angelic. I also had this thought, too, because I think she says it in, like, one of her interviews or whatever. I feel like in past relationships, I was of the mindset that, like, oh, if you end up with this person, you have to make, like, these crazy compromises. and you have to have like insane sacrifices. And that just means you really love that person because you're going to sacrifice this or you're going to compromise this significant part of your life. And then I realized that's a load of shit. Like when you're in a real good, healthy relationship, I'm sorry, there's not a single compromise I could fricking find.

15:39Like you're not changing your whole lifestyle as a compromise disguised under like, we'll know we're in love no and like the things that you do compromise are the things that you're like okay that's valid yeah you're like i don't i actually don't care about them sometimes the stuff you compromise is stuff that actually helps you grow like it actually he makes you better by being like hey can you stop doing this or like yeah wait can i say something like the behind the scenes of kylie clarkson that people don't know yeah because i know you guys saw me in the show and you're like she's beautiful like she's perfect like she's glowing like did she get botox well I was on day two of my period and I was wearing this like really fun high skirt wait was it pony hair um it was faux pony I loved it there's faux ponies out here thank you it was Theophilio okay

16:42so okay so then there was a top and and i had to like tuck it in but it was kind of like falling out okay so um the stylist that was with me was like we have to um take the top and like pin it to your underwear and i was wearing like big granny panties so i was like okay perfect yeah You're like, I have enough circumference. But then, like, I got there and I was, like, starving. It was, like, 2 p.m. And I hadn't eaten yet. All day? No, I ate in the morning. I had breakfast. I was going to say that. I hadn't eaten lunch yet. I'm like, you hadn't eaten and it was 2 o 'clock. So, like, normally around 1, I like to eat lunch.

17:19It was, like, 2 o 'clock. And you know when you're like, okay, let's not eat. But then I was getting, like, ravaged. Like, when I'm hungry, it's not like a light hunger. It's like I'm, like, the room starts spinning. I'm like I start frothing at the mouth it's so interesting because when I have to do something the thought of food makes me physically ill because I'm like no let me get this done and then I'll do it I was starving like I'd run a marathon so I got there and they had veggie straws and I was like perfect that's healthy and then I had a like a Nutri-Grain bar great and then I think I like had some chips or something I don't know but I'm so you had a full lunch I'm shoving my face and then I had a turkey sandwich and then they had a pasta salad and I'm so hungry the head of a pig But then I am, okay, day two of my period, like Chris, this is important for you to learn about.

18:03I'm just like, have diarrhea. Like, my cramps are like diarrhea. So like, I'm like eating, thinking that I'm like free and like nothing bad can happen ever in my life. And she's tying my shirt to my panties. And I realized, oh my God. That's the first time I've ever heard you say panties. And I really thought that was gross. That was so disgusting. Would you be in? Why would you stop it? Sorry, my granny pants.

18:33Kids listen to this in the backseat of the car. That's where we crossed the line. So I was like, oh, I have to go to the bathroom. So it was like, it was clipped off. I love when you act dainty or like a little girl. I have to go to the restroom. So I go, actually, if I say I have to pee, I have to pee. If I say I have to go to the restroom, you have to go. What's the problem? By the way, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, is, like, staring at me. Like, he was right across the green room. He's like, that girl's got a shirt. And I swiftly go to the green room, which, by the way, is, like, the bathroom is, like, open where, like, everyone who works in 30 Rock goes.

19:13No. So, like, I didn't have peace and quiet. But I didn't want to, like, undo. So I just pulled the back down. So it was still clipped in the front. Okay. So I'm just like kind of like the sun, the suntan lotion thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I did. So like shit myself, come back, go back. And then I'm back in the green room and I feel it coming on again. And like I have to go on in like 20 minutes and I'm having like a full diarrhea. Oh, my God. But like there's like eight people in my green room. Were you nervous? Not telling anyone. No, I just my body like I think I had adrenaline. Yeah.

19:48And then I ate like all these random things and I was on day two of my period. And my body was like, we're not doing this right now. Adrenaline will really make you shit yourself. So I'm like, so I go back and I'm like fighting with this like underwear thing. And I'm pretending to these people that I'm just like checking my hair in the bathroom. But I'm like having like explosive. You're sweating. Are you sweating at this point? I'm sweating in my zebra hair. Your faux pony. And then like, by the way, this is a, it's not live, but it's, it's fucking tight. Like they're like, okay, we're going to need you in four minutes.

20:21Yeah. And I'm like, okay, do we try one more just to make sure I don't shit myself on the Kelly show? So, like, run one more time. And then no one knew. I'm just, this is where I'm telling it. And then I walked on. Like, I didn't just, like, my asshole wasn't bleeding. And the way we started the show was they were like, I want you to host a little game first. So I never met Kelly Clarkson. They just announced my name. I walk on and I'm hosting this game show with Kelly and Adam Brody and some other people from Nobody Wants This. And I was just like, hi, Kelly Clarkson. trying to read a teleprompter while holding my butthole as time.

20:55And then I was like, I might have to hit the wicked note later. That's when I'm going to lose it. So that's why. Imagine you hit the wicked note, but also shit on her couch. Everyone would be like, Tom Cruise who? Because this is the new couch moment. Like everyone's trying to go viral these days. Like you never know. No, adrenaline is so crazy when you have to go to the bathroom. I one time was going through a boyfriend's phone. and I was like, oh my God, I'm going to shit myself, and I had to run to the bathroom. So then the next time I went through the same boyfriend's phone, I took the phone, first went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet, then I went through it.

21:32Let's go to woman in stone. Yeah, because that adrenaline, I was like, I'm going to lose my lunch. No, you know what? We know people are like, oh, I'm backed up, I'm backed up. One thing about stand-up comedians, we are never backed up, because right before you go on stage, you feel a rush. Also, I feel like when you're running. okay I never used to freaking have that though before going out on stage and then I literally hung out with you too many times I was in Palm Spring I had to go and do something with Charlotte Tilbury like out on stage and like talk to her whatever and before I'm like I'm gonna have a nervous poop like I have to go to the bathroom and every time I would say to people like oh I'm gonna go to the bathroom someone would be like oh I have to go too I'll come with you and it's like an open and I'm like I don't want you to come with me look I love female friendship when like you can look at a girl and just be like I have to poop like that's there's a beautifulness about it however if I'm at a dinner if I'm at a group dinner and I'm getting up to go to the bathroom all are welcome come to the bathroom because I'm sure I need products I'm sure there's like things we have to talk about if it's a normal day don't come to the bathroom with me if it's a 2 p.m.

22:37on a Wednesday don't follow me into the bathroom yeah you're I have things to do because you're going to be mischievous in there. You know what I mean? By myself. Yeah, naughty things are going to happen. I actually, shout out to Haley, my blonde best friend, Victoria's Secret, I was like wearing nothing. Yeah. You looked really good at Victoria's Secret. We were about to go on the red carpet, and they go, do you want to run to the restroom first? Because there isn't a restroom where the show is. I've never said no to a restroom break. Like, you know, some people are like, that's a skill of mine.

23:06I can use it at all times. I can use it right now. So I go, okay. See, that's funny because I'm someone that's like, oh, I'm okay. See, I'm like, oh, thank you. Like, I'll hold it. No, I don't like holding. Life is too short. Farts, any of it. So I'm with Haley, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go. And she's like, okay, we're going together. And I'm looking at her. I'm like, babe, this is a pre-red carpet. I'm like, I'm about to. You're not old enough to experience this, Haley. You're too pure. You're going to see some things you don't want to see that you'll never be able to forget. But that's when you try to make sure that the tank is empty.

23:42But it brings you closer to your friends. It does. The best is when you fart and you just go, excuse me. Like you did something polite. I don't think I've ever done that. I don't think I've ever farted in front of a friend. Do I not have any real friends? Have you never farted in front of me? No. I could do it right now. Wait, want to hear something else disgusting that I saw on TikTok? Yeah. Your tongue knows what every... Why did you say tongue-a? Because I really wanted to emphasize it. Your tongue... Yeah, why am I saying it like that? Knows what everything tastes like or feels like. Because it has...

24:24Think about licking anything in this room. You know what it would feel like on your tongue. is that so trippy and weird like i know what the screen of my phone would feel like on my tongue even though we've never licked it yeah i know what the table would feel like on my tongue is that so like you know what this would feel like on your tongue what algorithm did you even like i don't know where i stumbled

24:54I have no idea. So basically saying, you don't have to lick it to know. You don't have to lick it to know what it would be like on your tongue. And you should say that to your husband. I don't have to lick it to know. Thank you. We have a fun little surprise. We do. We filmed an episode of Hannah and Paige Try New Things. A rogue episode. Because we missed it. We couldn't be kept away. No, we literally couldn't stop. It was so much fun. Went to New Jersey. And that's all we're going to say. And we went to a Dunkin'. And we just tried new things at Dunkin'. We learned how to make drinks. Hannah drove through the drive-thru.

25:36And I did the computer. It's honestly one of my favorite episodes I think we've ever done. I was kind of starstruck. At Dunkin'. Yeah. Like for Dunkin' to be like, you can go behind the scenes. Yeah. We got to like see how everything's made and we had some contests. We tried to make stuff for Grace. We always turned things into some fun. Yeah, we pushed ourselves. And I had a big car around the drive-thru. I almost... Well, you'll see. You'll see. I don't want to give away what happens, but it was pretty crazy. A new episode of Hannah and Paige Try New Things comes out soon on our YouTube. Brought to you by Duncan.

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26:51I have three holes in each ear. So I love having like a mini gold tube than a larger gold tube. And they really are perfect. I've also started wearing a lot more rings. And they're just so easy and stackable. And they all look good together. So it's like they kind of did the stacking for you. They also have accessible price points there's a reason they're the most loved brand shop majori jewelry in store in app or online at majori.com i was thinking about dance with the stars which i'm locked so locked in i was like i there was a wicked night and you know i love wicked i saw that you would have hated it no why does it bring me joy when you hate something i know i i don't watch it but i already know i'm so proud of alex earl i feel like she's really crushing it no like she's She's having performances that afterwards I'm like, that was the greatest thing I've ever seen.

27:40Like she's. She's a dancer's body. And I'm going to say something about Alex Earl. There's a lot of people that'll be like, she doesn't have talent. She doesn't whatever. People do go viral and get lucky. But she's already been successful for a couple of years now. Yeah. That's not all luck. She's clearly a very, very, very hard worker. Yeah. And like not and smart. and like like it takes a certain kind of person to like execute dancing with the stars it takes pressure it takes focus it takes memorization like i'm very impressed by her yeah she's competing with like top athletes and you want to know what i feel like when people are like on a screen like you can get a you can read a certain level of their aura she's always given me like good energy yeah she seems just like sweet and like nice i was thinking about dancing with the stars though and how it's so fun with the dancing but like what if they did it with singing like what if they found people who can't sing and each week you had to sing a song that you were trained because I'm singing these good singers like get bad singers you're gonna executive produce this show and you're gonna make me host it and I'm gonna be like I don't even want to be here and actually you guys are really bad you're the only judge yeah I'm the only judge and you go I don't want to be And I'm like, sorry, I'd be napping if I wasn't getting paid to be here.

29:01No one's going to be napping during that show. I feel like as I get older, I am Simon Cowell. Like, I hate everything. I'm, like, disgusted by so many people I know. Do you know there's an actual thing of people who don't get enjoyment from anything? Like, there's a word for it. I have it. They said if it happens for an elongated period of time, it can be depression. What's a long period of time? No, it's not that I hate everything. I'm unimpressed. Yes. Not to quote your best friend, who I'm sorry people aren't talking about this enough. I'm not in competition with people I don't feel inspired by.

29:44Did you hear her say that? Yeah, well, people thought it was like at Selena. I don't care who people thought it was about. And even if it was, who gives a shit? Like, get over it now. It's been 10 years of this back and forth. We don't care. They're both married. Who cares? That quote alone, I'm sorry, it's my new personality. It was beautiful. I'm not in competition with people I don't feel inspired by. And I think my problem is I'm unimpressed by things. That I'm just like, I don't care. Well, I'm going to bring us to a moment over the weekend. I was alone in my hotel room. Yeah. I was bored.

30:16What a day. I started shopping on the RealReal. And by shopping, I can't find anything for me. But then I started seeing all these things that I'm like, maybe Paige will like. So then I sent her like 40 different links. Like I was just full on shopping for Paige in my head because Paige is my Barbie doll. Some things were cute. Okay. Well, great. That made me really happy. I basically like, it's like a love language where I'm like, okay, what can make Paige smile today? I'm like, what is she like? I'm going to send her links of clothes. And if she hates all of them, it does make me laugh. Like if you go, like sometimes you'll be like, Hannah, stop.

30:52No, because sometimes you'll send me things and it's just like a black t-shirt. I'm like, what about? It's Mew Mew. Also, all I do is buy black t-shirts. Also, all you do is shop vintage. Like, it's on a mannequin. It's not even on a person. I'm like, I can't even see what this is. Well, that's the thing. You have to have a vision. You have to have a vision. You have to be an artist. Did you actually like some of the stuff I sent? Yeah, I did. Am I your stylist? No. Also, why are you wearing a hat? Because I went to the shoot and I don't have a hair tie to throw it up in a ponytail and it's like pushed back.

31:27Because everyone's here to see your Botox. Well, I'll show that. I do feel like it's like settled. Yeah. I feel like I'm like in. I actually go to Wednesday for like a check in. When is Daphne getting her facial balancing? She actually has the perfect face. When is Daphne getting lip filler? Because we've all been thinking it. Yeah, she has no lips. No. Kitty is stunning. She's beautiful. She's gorgeous. Well, didn't she just... Well, she's working. She's booked and busy. She's worked today. She has to work tomorrow. Wait, I feel like I can't. I'm not allowed to say the thing she's working on.

32:03It's like... No, it's Hush Hush. I signed an NDA. I'm like, what? And good thing she's not all chatty chatty because... She would tell everyone. I have a hot take. Okay. Because you, Des and I are in a temporary place right now. Okay. We moved into an apartment where if you order Uber Eats, you have to go down to get it. They don't let them bring it up to the door. Now, this is a huge problem. Huge problem. Not in my America. Okay. And some would say you moved out of your last apartment. Some would say that there was one reason I moved and they changed the policy. And I said, and I can no longer do business with you guys.

32:49But hot take. Do you know that that was like a massive thing in my old building? I was like, I'm moving out. And they were like, what can we get for you to stay? I'm like, well, you guys don't bring the groceries up anymore. And like, I can't have that. I'm going downstairs at midnight to get one slice of pizza from the guy. In my panties. No.

33:11So this is my hot take. Like at first I said, no, no, no, no, no. But then I realized maybe this is good for me. Because now when I place an order, I have to say it with my chest. Well, do you know, this happened to our good friend Sierra. What happened? She moved into a building and they don't let delivery people go up and they won't bring it up to your door. What do delivery people ever do to you? Like why are they treating them like? Sorry they're trying to make a tip. They leave it at the door and they leave. What the fuck? They have other deliveries to do. Why are they acting like this is crazy?

33:44And Sierra said it really makes her stop and think, do I need to order that? So I agree with Sierra where I'm like, I say it with my chest. I want you both to know I'm living it up. I'm like, yeah, actually do another order. You forgot it. I said normally I might eat something and then be like, OK, I'm done. Throw it out. Now I'm like, should I save this for lunch and eat the other half of this burrito? So I'm not – and then sometimes where I just order like for no reason, I'm like, should we order? Because do I want to lock eyes with this man? Yeah. Multiple times a day. But then I'm like, do I make an inside joke?

34:24But then again, I don't want – I have a bad habit of people – Can you find someone at your building, grease them a little, be like, hey. That was so Italian of you. Anytime I got a delivery, you bring it right up to me. I go, hey, when's the last time we got a blow drop? Let's do this old school. You can take a fry off the top, but that's it. We go half and halfies. Do you know who invented room service? Jackie O. Oh, great guess. The Waldorf Astoria Hotel. Invented room service in like 19... Did you do a dissertation on room service? I'm obsessed with room service I remember the moment I realized what it was I was like 4 years old and my mom was like they'll bring it to the room and I was like this is crazy I genuinely think that's why I moved to New York City because I was like room service one of the greatest memories of my childhood was my parents went to a wedding in Philadelphia and Daniel and I got to stay back at the hotel room and my mom said you guys can just order room service we had a rager Yeah, the greatest night of your life.

35:37The greatest night of my life. Tell me it was two queen beds. Yes, two queen beds. Maybe just one. We're just jumping over. French fries. No, room service is the best. And Uber Eats is basically room service if you live. And this is the problem with New York City. Anything you're in the mood for. You literally are like, I want a chicken parmesan with a pennella vodka. But I also would like, and then after that I'll have some sushi. You're like, what if I want Thai with Italian fusion? Like 100 % and you'll find it. It's right there. You'll find it. You will find it. A gnocchi with a Szechuan Delight.

36:08Like, they have it. So it's like every need is right at your fingertips. It's so naughty. Szechuan Delight.

36:19Okay, wait. This actually is so, like, reverse. Except my Chinese food place, which is, like, best Chinese food in New York City. When you move, also, that's a whole thing. You have to find your Chinese food place. It's really stressful. My place is the best ever, but they're so old school that they're not on any of the apps. Do you have to text them? They're not even on Postmates. I'm like, not even Grubhub. You have to call. You have to place your order. You pay over the phone. And they have - You give them the credit card number? Yes. They have their own delivery, like their own deliverer people.

36:58Yeah. And it's just for the area. And it feels so 90s. Like, I'm almost like I have a cord on my phone. You feel like you're in Sex and the City, like. Yeah, and they're like, for how many? And I'm like, for one. Does Daphne ever try to eat your human food? Because some cats are obsessed with it and some aren't. Like, she's looking on a thick lately. No, she genuinely has zero interest in any human food. And I've had like salmon or like any like little like pieces of chicken. And she'll sniff it. But she's like, if it's not in my dish, I don't care about it. So cats, like all cats are different.

37:40My mom has a cat who every night when they sit down for dinner, the cat thinks my mom cooked dinner for him. And he sits. Just like a man. He sits on her lap. And as she goes to take a bite, he takes his paw and paws her hand like, get that fork, towards me. He eats pork chops. He eats penne. He eats turkey burgers. He eats salmon. No. Well, okay, butter will, when I'm eating, she'll come and sit and just stare. She's not knowing about it. She just stares. And I'll have a little piece of chicken or something, and I'll put it down for her. She looks at it like she's never seen something. Every time she eats, she acts like, oh, my God.

38:18I'm like, what is this? Smells it for, like, 10 minutes and then eats it, and then I give her a little. So we have, like, our fun little game. one of the best parts about having I think a cat is that it's not like a dog dogs are so fucking annoying when you're about to eat it's almost like who told you I didn't even tell you wait okay I'm gonna say something controversial and I don't like I love dogs totally we love dogs no I do love dogs but I love dogs like I love men we're like yeah they're great until you hang out with them like until they open their mouth and start talking in the room with them and you see how they've like moved through life you're like this is once you've committed you're like oh the second you put them their little red wiener pops out and i'm like i'm not trying to fuck you yeah i'm like are you fixed didn't you get fixed how do you still have the urge also why are we walking running around yeah yeah this is like they're always talking about things they don't know about i'm yeah i'm very subtle about like most people getting cats like i do the whole plant a seed in six years they decide they want a cat yeah but i was with a friend and she's like i want to get a dog and by the way this is like new york city i just looked her in the face i said with my chest i said are you fucking kidding me i said and she was like i like dogs sorry you don't like dogs i like dogs and i said okay think the whole idea of getting dog great Have you ever been at a person's place with a dog and they're not annoyed by the dog?

39:46Like, it's always them being like, sit down. Hold on a second. Sit down. Stop. Stop. Get up. Not there. Not there. Don't do this. Sorry, let me let the dog out. I think that people are like brainwashed to think that they love their dog when actually their dog is ruining their life. And I know people whose relationships have ended because they couldn't have sex because their dog would bark the whole time. So my thing is. the first six months with a puppy oh no i once had a boyfriend who's like we're gonna have so many golden retrievers and i literally said over my dead fucking body if you want a dog and you want to deal with that kind of hardship in your life just have a baby like just have a baby my thing is i feel like people don't like cats then you have your own cat and people are like you walk into someone's apartment like this is my cat i'm obsessed with them they're amazing when you walk into someone's apartment with the dog they're like i'm so sorry they just start apologizing for their dog all they do is apologize on a trip you have to walk it in the rain no every day you have to walk but maybe that's their version of love is like taking care of something and i know people are like oh your dog loves you so much if it loves me so much why is he being annoying and why will he run away at any second and yeah he's a he you open the door you open the door a dog is bolting out he's trying to get away he's trying to go find the next best thing you open the door The cat's like, shut the door.

41:03Like, people are out there. Ew. My favorite is cats, indoor cats, looking at outdoor cats being like, you disgust me. No, the best was Daphne looking at your rescue cats being like, when you said, shh, do they even know their parents, Mom? Who's your dad?

41:24She goes, you guys don't even have an Instagram page. She goes, they've never done one Brand deal. Do you guys go to work? Daphne's one of the influencers gets invited to an event that she has the most followers and she's like, why am I here? Why did my PR send me here? There's not even a step in her beat. Like, why did I get all made up for this? This place is disgusting. I'm wasting my time and I had to pay for the Ubers. They didn't even send a gar.

41:53Wait. Oh, what happened? I figured out who my big three are. These are my big three of my favorite people ever. And wait, when you say favorite, like, what does that mean? We don't know. Just like right now for this moment. Okay, okay, in pop culture. Dakota Johnson, Aubrey Plaza, Alison Williams. I love all three of them equally. And somehow I feel like they're all like a similar font of person. And I feel aligned with them. Wait, I love how this is your energy moving. because I feel like these girls are more, you know what you just listed? Five years ago, that wouldn't have been my list. You know what you just listed?

42:36Three female comedians. Three female comedians. Dakota Johnson, hilarious. I think Dakota Johnson is one of the funniest, unintentional, funny people. Aubrey Plaza, her personality in general, like her baseline. How has she not won like an Oscar? People need to put her in more things. Put her in more things. I mean, and then Alison Williams, I just like her vibe. Girls? Yeah. So you know what it is? They're funny, but they're also hot. Yeah. And they're successful. And I love it. Where I feel like back in the day, you were more aesthetic. Yes. Like you just wanted to say, you didn't care if they couldn't carry a conversation.

43:15Back in the day, my big three would have been Victoria Beckham. Oh. But she's still in it. She's top. Well, yeah. She's your friend now. Right now, she's top. She's your friend. She oversees. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But back in the day, it would have been Victoria Beckham. I love these year Barbie dolls you're talking about. This is my baby house. They don't play with each other. It's my pussy palace. Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian. And I don't know who my third would have been. But her and Kim are, they can't be touched. But I'm obsessed with this energy for you. Who's your favorite style of these three?

43:45Ooh, probably Dakota Johnson. Yeah, she's really good. She's just like cool. Well, she pulls off bangs. Yeah, and Aubrey Plaza gets away with being like sarcastic mean like dark energy and I like that do you know what also all three of them have great hair great hair and also they do not um they're not like nice girls like they're not like trying to conform to be likable there's like an I don't want to say unlikableness of them but it's more they're authentic there's where they don't care that they have stereotypical things that might not be likable to them there's an authenticity that makes them feel real they're not liked by everyone and that's a good thing yes yeah you don't want to be liked by everyone i i do find you need to have like 10 top tier haters you know like that key and i'm not kidding no i'm not relevant you need a good roster of haters and you need to feed them like every so often because their feedback it only motivates you and they and you know when they're thinking about you they'll drop like subtle hints and all have you ever like not been hated on and felt a little emptiness in you and been like oh nobody cared to hate on that I'm no I wasn't I'd like that at any point I have noticed though like over the years my haters like people that I feel like really really hate me I wouldn't even like be friends with them let alone like envy them or want to be them you know Like, I've never been hated on someone where I'm like, fuck, I, like, really am jealous about that, like, that of them.

45:26Or, like, I want to have what they have. Or, like, yeah, respect them. Or, like, they were a normal people. I just have to say, we got really, I don't know if lucky's the word, but, like, I'm very grateful. There's a lot of people who have people who follow them. Yeah. Who, like, they hate their. No, no, like, they, people. I don't want to, also, like, I don't even call, like, the Gigglers are not fans. They're best friends. But they're people who, like, hate their fans. like they're doing their thing and then they like go to a show and they see the people that are buying their stuff or like love them or fall and they're like like I know comedians who hate their fans and I'm like that says more about you than them like you're not like your fans are a mirror of what you're putting out into the world the moment I realized that gigglers aren't fans I've never said the f word is when I had a panic attack and I went out on stage and you were like just tell them come on tell them just tell them they'll be okay and I was like guys but I also feel like people will like have one viral video and be like my fans it's like a loosely used term nowadays yeah um it's yeah I don't like that term but it's just the people who want to consume your content like the fact that it's girls that we would be friends with right is like we're very lucky.

46:44I just thought of another thing to hate on a man about. I restarted Scandal. Grace is watching it. You are? What season are you in? I'm at season three. It's starting to get a little bit crazy where you're like, okay, I don't know what's going on. So good. It's so good and I have not... How gorgeous is she? Hold on. Let me just, hold on. Because I have a list in my head. I haven't watched Scandal. I think I tried to restart it during COVID, but I like didn't get through it. But I haven't watched it since it was genuinely like on TV. I think it was in like 2012. Yeah. So many things. Top line. One, I don't know why Kerry Washington doesn't get talked about more for her fashion, specifically at that time period.

47:28Because she was so peak 2012, 2013 fashion. But in that show, she always looked so good. So like, one, I don't think she gets enough accolades for like her role in fashion in general. Two She's so good She's so good in it The whole show is her Shonda Rhimes Also doesn't get enough Like awards No sorry She's made every good show I've ever watched She'd be on Mount Rushmore I'm like Wait guys I don't think we're like Actually putting it together She's made Scandal Grey's Anatomy Bridgerton Do you know Grey's Anatomy Is still going on? Still on I didn't know that Still on No the woman is like Collectively as a whole We don't speak about her enough my last thing I hope you're gonna say what I think you're gonna say why the fuck did they want her with the president why did all of America love the couple that is her and the president I'm sorry he's the worst character of all time ever wait he's an awful character why he's so mean to his wife he's so mean to her he acts like such like sorry wait because you're the president you're like so entitled you can treat your wife like absolute shit.

48:41Paige. Yeah. You healed. No, I'm like - You've healed. I just can't believe I loved it. Because sometimes people see a guy who's being an asshole and be like, oh, I'm going to change him. Like, I like him. You've healed. No, I literally want him impeached. I want - Wait, but like, he's not, he's a little bit zaddy. Oh, he's so fucking hot. He's so hot. Where is that actor? He's around. Why isn't he in more things? Also, are they dating in real life, I think? No, no. They're both married, but like they did an award show they like presented at something not too long ago and everyone was like ah talking the way he touched the back of her i'm gonna say right now as someone in a relationship i know you would fuck that man as someone who's really committed i would have sex with that guy just that like i'm watching how people act on like dancing with the stars yeah like i'm sorry if your husband was like dancing with one of these girls and like i'm watching like Val and Alex Earl and he's like he's like closer to my face more passion more passion and he like pulls her in by the vagina he's like more passion no like I'm he's like if you just put your vagina on me that's how the dance I know there's a dance world is like we're dancing that's cheating you're just cheating with rules okay wait okay wait though question if you were married to an actor divorce if you were married wait if you're married to an actor and he's gotta go do this movie and in the movie he has to make out and be in a relationship with someone and have a sex scene with them are you like I'm coming to set every day or are you I'm never coming to set because I don't like to go anywhere but it's it's like how he handles it I've actually been in a relationship before where a guy acted I was like kissing a girl yeah and it's how he talked about it to me that was what I didn't respect or like about it I was like you're trying to piss me off yeah but But if someone, like, look, I want you to come in and be like, oh, I have a sex scene with this girl.

50:36She's the worst. Yeah. I mean, she's so ugly. I can't even look at her. I started to puke during the last day. I don't know what to do. Yeah, I feel bad. Great person. We love her. Like, so good on the inside. So upset that I have to do a sex scene today. I couldn't eat lunch beforehand. Yeah, it's about how you go about it. It's how he presents it. But, like, there's a reason why actors can't keep relationships. There's a reason why they all fuck each other in movies. it's because it's intimate if you're my boyfriend and we're talking about a pretty person if you don't turn to me and say not prettier than you though get out of my life hot take do you know what they say if you want to go to sleep you have to pretend you're sleeping yeah acting is pretending so you pretending you're kissing her is you kissing her see i don't think i would get mad Well, people say, which I'm waiting for you because you're my only friend.

51:29People say that like when you get married and you've been married for like a long time, like not cheating, like not like cheating on your spouse, but like everyone's in a while, like you're flirting with someone. Like at some point in your life, you're going to flirt with someone again. Well, flirting is just like fun. It's like a hobby that you take up occasionally. Now, see, that would annoy me more than my husband going to work and doing his scheduled sex scene. See, this is... You know? You have it on your Google calendar? Yeah, I'm like, oh, interesting. Well, this is the thing. I'm... I can be, you know, jokey-jokey, you know?

52:07And some would argue that a girl trying to be funny is flirtatious. And, like, my husband is a comedian. Like, he walks into a room and he makes women laugh. And I like that. Maybe I'm a little freaky. Yeah, you are. That's what I do. You are. I'm a little cuck. You like when girls like. Yeah, I like that girls think Des is handsome or funny. If my friends are coming up to me grossed out by him, I'd be like, I don't like him either anymore. I'm easily manipulated by peer pressure. If Des walked in and you gave me a look like, ew, I'm like, we're done. Yeah. We are done. But look, men are going to be attracted to women.

52:50Totally. I hope he's attracted to women. It's the sex scenes in the movies. I'm surprised that. They really get you. Yeah, I'm surprised they let it happen. As someone who. It should be illegal. I don't like that they're like, oh, I'm an actor. Yeah, he's acting like he didn't enjoy that. As someone who had a makeout scene at 16 years old. and had a boyfriend at home you didn't no I mean technically I mean yeah I guess I did but this is I should have known then my brain was so programmed of like this is work like why would you even care about this and I remember my high school boyfriend being like but you made out with someone and I was like for a paycheck like like was the guy hot he was so hot do you know that I ran into him like 10 years later on the streets of New York City.

53:44We literally walked by each other on the street and, like, looked at each other and, like, passed and, like, both turned. Like, was that? And I never saw him again. His name is Neil. I know that. All right, first of all, I'm out. So, first of all, no. It's like, well, your boyfriend should have been upset because you almost married that man. I almost saw Neil on the street and made it. I wish I could find him now. Neil? Or if there's a girl listening who's dating Neil? It was a Robert Pattinson commercial. You've got to remember it. But you've been booked and busy since you were, like, six. Yeah, no, this was, like, a while ago, so he probably is, like, married somewhere.

54:22Well, they say when you make out, you're, like, not supposed to use tongue, even though it looks like you're using tongue. So they do, like, fake makeouts. I have a trick that I do sometimes. What do you do? Okay. If you kiss someone for six seconds, like, you can't take your lips off, though. It has to stay constant contact for six seconds. After the six seconds, both of your bodies have now, like, aligned. And it makes, like, your sex better. Like, then you're immediately, like, you're going to have sex after six seconds. Wow. Yeah. Try it. So you just, like, you're, like, five, six, seven, eight, and one.

54:59No, I can count. Does he know you're doing that? No. No. If you stay for six seconds, it only makes it better because you connect, like. Sometimes I just want to kiss. Yeah, same. It's really annoying. Like, I'll go to kiss, and then Des is like, are we having sex? And I'm like, where did you get that from, you freak? And I know it's so funny. I am Des. I'm like, okay, well, we're grown. So either. I'm like, just because you kissed, like, I didn't. Do you know I've been in. By the way, women are their horniest in their 30s. Chris, write that down. Do you know I've been in so many relationships where I've just never kissed them?

55:34I know. Like actually to the point where I'm like, is that a made up thing that you go? No kissing, baby. No touchy touchy. No kissing. I'm just like, gross. I'm not kissing you. Yeah. Well, you hated them. That's true. That's a sign. It is so true. Your nails look good. Thanks. It's grown out. I did do sports modeling back in the day and it was like me and this like hot guy model. And we spent all day together. And like, it's actually a really good way to meet people. Yep. Being a model? Yeah. I'm sure they're not. But I was like, where have you been? You're a hot man in New York City that's forced to hang out with me for eight hours.

56:11And by the end, I was like, we're dating. Justice for models. They want to date, too. They also have trouble dating. Yeah, models do have trouble. Thank you guys so much for getting with us. We love you so much. Wait, where am I going? Oh, I'm going to Medford in Boston. And I'm going to Portland, Maine. and I'm just going to be right here in the Big Apple yep the Big Apple we love you so much thanks for giggling bye guys