


“Summer Break Giggles” is a mostly unscripted “best moments” compilation from the podcast, mixing lighthearted story time, chaotic relationship/sex talk, and comedic rants about dating, adulthood, and everyday logistics. It also includes multiple ad reads (eBay Live shopping, activewear, hair growth, laundry detergent, subscriptions/finance, pet supplies, online psychiatry, etc.) plus a mention of a YouTube blooper video and upcoming Radio City episode.
No specific guests appear as interviewees in the transcript. The recurring hosts are referenced as Hannah and Paige (and “Grace” for housekeeping/admin). “Harriet” is mentioned as someone to “fix the Wi‑Fi,” but not as a guest.
eBay Live is interactive (“you’re in it”); gossip helps fight dementia; men’s “PR” rebrands trends; couples/relationships have different intimacy needs; post-baby clarity can expose relationship issues; women don’t care as much about men’s looks as long as they’re nice.
bidding on a Fendi baguette and Levi’s shorts on eBay Live; “voice rest” as a social excuse; “rodent boyfriend summer” joke; tampon/flushing plumbing debate; Delta headphones on planes; “waterboarding” men showing endless YouTube videos.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes.
Discussion about shopping experiences on eBay Live and auction excitement.
“Plus with colors like dark green, navy, and maroon, it all says fall in the best way.”
Hosts discuss episode format, housekeeping updates, and their plans for the week.
“I have an eye twitch, which means a man is about to die soon.”
A candid discussion about sexual experiences and the challenges of communication.
“and then they make this into an ice skating rink.”
Exploration of the importance of gossip and storytelling in social interactions.
“I couldn't tell if like they thought my legs were like cute or not.”
Hosts humorously discuss the complexities of using TV remotes and socializing.
“If he uses an Xbox controller to turn on his TV, you will get chlamydia.”
Reflections on intimacy, sleeping arrangements, and personal space.
“She's like, I love hanging out with couples.”
Exploring personal preferences about sleeping alone and intimacy.
“I just feel like it would get in the way.”
Promotion for Nutrafol, a hair growth supplement.
“and you want to feel confident in your hair.”
Sharing experiences of live auctions and the thrill of bidding.
“Then these Levi's denim shorts popped up and I had to jump in.”
Discussing the benefits of using Tide Evo laundry detergent.
“But I threw it in the wash with Tide Evo and I was genuinely shocked that it got the coffee stain out.”
Reflecting on college experiences and the convenience of shopping on Amazon.
“This off to college season, save on college and save the everyday.”
Promotion for Bombas socks and their charitable aspect.
“Bombas make socks, slippers, tees, and underwear made with the highest quality materials.”
Discussing the dynamics of returning home and personal development after breakups.
“That's B-O-M-B-A-S dot com and use code audio.”
Discussion on how men and women process breakups differently.
“It's like this empowering thing that I do Where it's like it's not my job Because guess what?”
Exploration of societal expectations for men versus women over generations.
“Now, like, any man, he's like, cool, I'll call a task, grab it.”
Humorous take on the responsibilities and anxieties of adopting a pet.
“non-conventionally hot men, they're calling it rodent boyfriend summer.”
A lighthearted discussion about friendship quirks and dynamics.
“Because I'd be like, you never understand.”
Discussion on the dynamics of relationships during and after childbirth.
“My favorite is when the Gigglers come up to me with two of them and one of them goes, she's my Hannah.”
Conversational exploration of the habits around screenshotting on social media.
“What's the percentage that you're ever going back and looking at those screenshots?”
Discussion on how men bond through sharing videos, and humorous observations about it.
“But I wonder how many people had the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy.”
The hosts discuss body traits and personality quirks.
The hosts share their thoughts on the show FX's Adults and its themes.
“It's about five roommates living in New York.”
The hosts share their thoughts on the show FX's Adults and its themes.
“Talk Iatry helps you move from I know I need help to actually having a psychiatrist who listens and a clear personalized treatment plan.”
The hosts share their thoughts on the show FX's Adults and its themes.
“Because look, pet care is more than a subscription.”
The hosts discuss gossip, relationships, and female dynamics.
“I got a lot of backlash on my Instagram last night because I said, I want you to shave your head like I'm a stone.”
The hosts share theories about dating dynamics between men and women.
“I gossip so hard with my mom, so hard that we'll circle back and she'll be like, and now what was everyone wearing during it?”
The hosts reflect on the carefree and humorous vibe of Giggly Squad.
“You know, like when you're in college and you have like a hungover next day and everything's funny.”
The hosts announce their upcoming YouTube series finale and share behind-the-scenes content.
“Okay, so if you're not caught up on Hannah and Paige Try New Things on YouTube, catch up because the finale, the huge Radio City finale, is coming a week from today, Monday, July 14th at 6 p.m.”
The hosts share funny moments and bloopers from their recordings.
“In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try bloopers.”
Hosts share humorous experiences and reflections on their connection with the LGBTQ+ community.
“People ask how we prepare for a show and we try and stretch and we try and just get our blood flowing.”
Discussion on fashion choices, personal styles, and how they relate to self-expression.
“When you're over 30, take eye, go swipe up.”
The hosts discuss challenges faced by women in the arts, empowering themes, and personal anecdotes.
“You just go But you're wearing a low bun.”

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Automatic transcript. May contain errors.
0:00Hey, Gigglers. Story time. I've been watching eBay Live the past few days to shop some rare finds. Not even bidding at first, just lurking. I saw a Fendi baguette go for an absolute bargain. Then these Levi's denim shorts popped up and I had to jump in. Lost my first auction, but then I bid again on the next and won. And that winning feeling, it's such a rush because you know everyone else wanted it too. Meanwhile, on eBay Live, you don't just watch the auction, you're in it. Download the eBay app to watch live, shop live. eBay Live, things people love. You know I love a seasonal closet refresh, including my activewear.
0:37and YPB by Abercrombie has me covered for fall. The YPB Studio Flex Sets are so soft and comfortable. I'm wearing them everywhere from Pilates class to weekend brunches. Plus with colors like dark green, navy, and maroon, it all says fall in the best way. Get your active wear ready for the changing seasons with YPB by Abercrombie. Shop in the app, online, and in stores. Sup gigglers. Harriet, fix the Wi-Fi. manifest that shit we can't be managed
1:13i mean the day just got away from me what's up my grenadine gigglers quick update page is currently on a plane from italy to america she's not happy about it she's not in a good mood so i'm just doing the introduction we actually are not supposed to have an episode today like court ordered we were told we have to take a week off but we were like okay well we have to post an episode so I talked to Grace and we decided to put together all of our best moments from the last couple years but also bonus at the end we have a blooper video out on YouTube right now of all this footage from Hannah and Paige trying new things that I guess we didn't know where to put so I told her to pull the audio version and put it at the end you should watch it too it came out last night and then the final episode of our radio city episode is out next week look at all this housekeeping like honestly the admin is exhausting me i need to take a nap after this intro um so we love you and enjoy this fun light-hearted best moment episode look at me i'll do the intro for 30 minutes and it'll just be an episode but um i'll shut up now enjoy i've never had a guy try to like really choke me interesting Because I don't give off that energy.
2:33And you talk a lot. You would think they're like, I'm finally in here. Shut the fuck up. The only time I shut up is when Butter falls asleep by my mouth. I have an eye twitch, which means a man is about to die soon.
2:52Oh no, it's that time of year. I have to sacrifice a man. No, truly, I've had this eye twitch for like four days. Because you also think everyone's like staring at it. I don't even think that everyone's staring at it. I'm just like, what? Is it your bigger eye or your smaller eye? It's your bigger eye. How dare. Why did I even ask? I can see it. Oh, what a fucked up question. I don't know. Check your cornea. No, it's just like I think stress. Back to me.
3:22Guys who are like too good at sex kind of gives me an egg. I'm like what is this performance no lay down act like you're tired make me make you want to do this like I don't want you to be like welcome to the show right if you're like oh my god your mind's gonna be blown like gross if you find the clit too fast one someone cooked here two it took me 18 years to find my own clit what have you been doing in your down time when he like does the bra too fast and you're like okay you have chlamydia Yeah. Like, you just, you're like. Two fingers. And you're like. Like, at least pretend you're. But then if he takes too long, then you start getting sad.
4:04You're like, oh, man. Because you're like, if you can't even unbutton this, you're not going to. You're like, we'll be great friends. We'll go shopping together.
4:13Men try to get women to stop gossiping back in the day because it was sharing information. So they would know what's going on. Yeah. So gossiping is how we take down the patriarchy. No, I'll stand by gossiping until the day that I die. As long as it's honest and pure. And truthful. And she is a fucking bitch. That can be a fact. It's also really good for our brain because we hear something, we have to remember it. And then, you know, so really we're just, we're fighting dementia each day. But also, when you live life, you're supposed to have something happen to you. And then the fun of it is. Telling your friends.
4:49Telling your friends and reflecting on it and be like, what just happened to me? Am I insane? No, we're storytellers. Sorry for entertaining. I feel like I can't go to a basketball game without spending at least one whole period of it being like, and then they make this into an ice skating rink. You know, like every time it blows my mind. I'm like, and then they can do concerts here too. Isn't that crazy? I'll never get over it. I'm like, but where is the ice? Right now, where's the ice? Right now, is it melted? You know, like I'm always asking the questions. See, I don't want to know logistics.
5:25Like I don't want to know how the sausage is made. I want it to be magical Walt Disney. Like is it underneath the court? Where is it at this exact moment? Where are you hiding the hockey players? Where are they sleeping? Where are the Rangers team? Do they sleep here? I realize that all Southern men are named after Labradoodles. Yes. Chester, Wyatt. That's it. Literally, dog names. At least like a King Charles fan. Maverick and Jet. Sawyer, Mason, Duke. Those are names of... Dogs. Rottweilers. It's either like they sound like dogs or like really old presidents. Yeah, or if you take two of them together and you put a plus in between, it becomes just like a farm-to-table restaurant.
6:09Dalton Sawyer? It's booked for a year. You can't get in there. You have to know the chef to get into Dalton Sawyer. Duke and Carter? Are you even allowed to go near there? Or it's like a really prestigious, very small private school. What's the worst thing that you hear in bed or like what would make you cringe? Mine was very simple and it's the word what. Have you ever said something like during sex and they didn't hear you? And then like they say what and you're like, you're like, am I going to say it again? Or like now is it weird? How long is the sentence that he wants you to repeat also? Did you say like a whole paragraph?
6:47Because sometimes like your heads are like different ways. So it is hard to hear. The fact he said what is not okay. At least pretend, you know, just go with it. Just go with it. Because whatever I said, I'm telling you, wasn't important. Not important. And if anything, I didn't even want to say it in the first place. I was trying to shut up and go on voice rest for like two days. No, you've sent me more voice notes than you ever have in your entire life. Wait. Was that true? I thought you were just saying that as like a bit. Were you legitimately trying to be on voice rest? No, it's my new thing.
7:16Just tell people you're on voice rest if you don't want to talk to them. I legit, I was like, oh, she must have something like really intense. I told four people I was on voice rest. In context, this is how Hannah told me. Hey, do you want to come to my house this weekend? I promise I won't even talk to you. You can literally sleep in another room. I'm on voice rest anyway, so I won't even talk. I'm like, that would last seven seconds. Seven seconds. If you don't want to talk to someone, just say I'm on voice rest. or if you want to really lean into the character, put it on your nose tab and just raise it.
7:46When they ask for what, what's your response? You're just like, not at this time. Well, it's easier for me because they know I'm a performer. Yeah. I believe you. Anyone could go on voice rest. I might start. If you have meetings. Imagine Grace just sent in the newsletter one week and was like, sorry, I'm on voice rest. I can't write this as I because I'm on voice rest. No, just singers get like really serious about it. And you know, I... Everyone lost their virginity half at first, right? Yeah. I think if you go full on the beginning, you're not okay. You should call your mom. You should call your mom.
8:25You should call us some more. No, I feel like every girl is like, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Maybe next weekend. Like, I'm just like, I feel like it kind of hurts. And like, maybe next weekend. And I feel like I used to do that all the time. I still do that. I still do that. Actually, no. Did I ever tell you what my nickname was? Like high school into college? No. Quadzilla. Which I'd quite literally dig my own grave and pass away. That's why I'm funny. Literally like hot guys would be like, sup, Quadzilla? I couldn't tell if like they thought my legs were like cute or not. I don't. Men look at me like a horse.
9:04They like check my teeth. Why are men always trying to treat you like they're breeding with you? Yeah, and they're like, what's your vert? What? They're like, do you want a race? Division one babies were like a topic. Okay. And then they'd see me. Yeah. And they'd just smell a Nike sponsorship for their child like immediately. Like, yeah, you could go with this sorority girl who can't fucking walk in a straight line. Or I could fucking throw a football 100 yards. Do you want your child to dunk? Right. With these calves? No one's ever come up to me and said like, hey, our kids might be athletic.
9:37If anything, they're like, I think you'll have a gay son. I think you'll have a gay son who, let's just say, could palm a basketball with your fingers. Don't talk about my unborn gay son because he's fabulous. When someone says, Paige, you have to look your best at this day, she has a routine. All I did was get facials and massages in LA. And I started to get kind of paranoid that I wasn't doing enough. You started to panic. So I started to panic. Well, then Lenore got involved. Lenore involved. Lenore was like, whatever Paige is doing, do what Paige does. So I go online and I'm clicking every lymphatic drainage place near me.
10:09Find just a woman in an apartment. Awesome. And I was like, the price is right. Safe. She does face and body. I said, we're doing it. So I just went to a random apartment building somewhere in LA. What is wrong with you? You know that it's sketchy when the first thing they ask you when you walk in is, how'd you find me? she literally was like how did you how did this come across your desk and then she was like your name's vanessa right and i was like no and i was like it's okay it's fine it was amazing i don't think it was lymphatic though i think she gave me a full-on abortion i don't know what happened why are tvs so complicated no why do you need seven remotes you can't turn on a tv you can't go to someone else's house and just turn the tv is it not insane that if it's not your own tv you don't know how to work it have you ever been to a boy's house when there's also like a rogue xbox controller?
10:59They're like, use this. I'm like, what? Are they? Oh my God. I'm like, how do I use that? If he uses an Xbox controller to turn on his TV, you will get chlamydia. Yeah, 100%. You will get chlamydia. He's texting multiple other girls. And he won't go down on you. If he says, here, just turn it on with the Xbox controller, grab your things and get out. What's your headphone of choice? So I collect Delta headphones. So I have like hundreds of Delta headphones. No, no, no, no, know like hundreds when you get on a plane yes you put the delta headphones in your ears and you connect it to what the tv and if there's no tv we're sleeping no headphones in no there's technology now that like you never have to hear the sound of an airplane ever again like when i fall asleep i'm not listening to anything i need noise to quiet my own thoughts i don't want to be sitting in silence that's the scariest thing you've ever said so you get on a plane most of the time Raw dog.
11:56Raw dog. Wait for her, or he. To walk around and say, does anyone need headphones? Does anyone need headphones? And I always go, yep. And then I say thank you. Because regardless, I like free shit. If it's, I'm going to take it. I'm going to take it. I will put, the amount of Delta headphones I have in my bag is crazy. This is a wild revelation. And then I love a fresh new pair you put out. Every time she walks by and says, headphones, headphones, in my head, I always think, who Who the fuck is getting on the plane without headphones? People are like, I love throwing dinner parties. What is that life?
12:30Like, that you A, love to socialize. You're like, you know what would make my life better? If I had to cook, decorate, invite people over, and then clean after? That's my nightmare. Having people over to my own home to socialize? It's dirty. Get out. It's get out. Like, what if I hit a moment where I was like, and I want everyone to leave right now? I watch HGTV right now. It's like a weird phase I'm going through, but I'm obsessed with it. And they'll be like, what kind of house are you looking for? And they're like, we love to entertain. And I'm always like. I was trying to explain to Allie, who's a lesbian, our relationship.
13:01We left the house and she's like, she's your partner. Yeah, no, we're partners. Because she was like. No, we're more than friends. Like, okay, like if we were to be with another friend duo, I'd be like, cute. That's adorable. We would leave and be like, they think they're fun. That's so sweet of you guys to like be friends. But like, we're life partners. Well, Allie was like, I loved hanging out with you guys because I love being like a third wheel. And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, I love hanging out with couples. And I'm like, what do you mean? And she's like, you guys will talk with your eyes all the time.
13:31If you're going to gossip with one of us, you're gossiping with both of us. But it's a safe space. Yes. Like we share the same ideas. She was like, you have a full partner. And I was like, I know. And I was like, I am the man one. Do pregnant women shave their vaginas? I'm talking like when they're about to give birth I think some of them I think I'm spitting like out of my I have no idea I think if you have like a midwife and stuff they will like trim it for you I think nurses will trim it for you because it's uncomfortable I would feel like it's uncomfortable but also you're not going in there being like oh I'm gonna make sure she's shining I know it was just a thought that I was just like I need to know this I think like you don't want a full bush just to keep it like cleaner I have no fucking clue.
14:19I just feel like it would get in the way. I hate sleeping in bed with men. I don't know what it is because like I can fall asleep on the couch with them. But once it comes to like getting in the bed and like falling asleep I'm like no I have to be alone. Like I have to hang out myself more. Well it doesn't make sense. Like we all have roommates right. And then you get to the point where you try to not have a roommate. But then when you meet a guy now you're forced to have a roommate. Right. But this roommate literally takes up half the bed and is hot and is breathing in your fucking face. Yeah, and I'm like, now I can't watch a TV show and like also have my phone on when it's like 3 a.m.
14:52because you have to sleep. Also, I understand intimacy sometimes. I understand quality time. Yeah. When you're both asleep, like, is that really intimacy? I need my own bedroom. Sleeping in separate beds I honestly think is great. I need my own bedroom and I'm so down to start the night with you and then like start the morning with you. But what I do in the in-between is like none of your business. You're starting a business. You're running numbers. You're looking up past exes, exes, exes, girlfriends. You have stuff to do during the night. I saw a TikTok that was like, I still stalk my ex's eggs even though we broke up.
15:30But she's part of my routine. Wait, your comfort stalk. Your comfort stalk. Your comfort stalk where like when you watch them, it kind of makes your day. Yeah. I want a man who's more involved in like the cooking and the cleaning. I do have to say. Really, I just want a housekeeper.
15:50I just realized I want an assistant. Some of these girls who have done it right, they marry chefs. I just want someone who's like, I'll make school lunches. I do have to say, I've dated guys in the past who have cooked and it's been so hot and so fun. You have to trick them to be like, oh my God, I love that salmon you made. Yeah. And then they, like, get passionate about it. And then it gets part of their ego. And then they're, like, obsessed with it. That's what it is. Make it a part of their ego. Yes. Chris is smiling. You've tricked them. Right? And the second you make it, and I go, oh, my, wait.
16:20Baby, I love your barbecue chicken. It's so good. I go, my ex used to make it. Disgusting. Disgusting. And honestly, he had a weak wrist. Make him feel like hunters, you know? Someone said, you know, when you're a kid and you have to sharpen your pencil. Yeah. So you'd get up to the garbage and you'd just, like, sharpen it. And it feels kind of nice. and you'd also get to like, that's a version of a cigarette break as a kid. I was the queen of taking a break. The pencil sharpener wasn't enough for me. I was like, ooh, still too stimulating. You guys are all here. I was at the nurse's office. The nurse knew me.
16:53Okay. I'd walk into the nurse's office and she'd say, what is it today, Paige? I'd say, well, I don't know. I'm feeling a slight tingle in my throat. Better call my mommy. I feel like my past life when my children died of cholera is coming forward. today? No, I'd literally go to the nurse's office and the nurse would say, why don't we just call your mom, talk to her for a few minutes and see how you feel? And I'd be like, that sounds nice. I needed like a midday pep talk, okay? It's hard out here. That's so real. So real. Let kids call their mom during school. What was the harm in it? It should be like a jail where they have a row of telephones where you go, you're getting a call from PS321 during the middle of the day.
17:37Mom, I can't do it anymore. Just please. It's a prison. I showed up with a tie. And I think I went a little too business formal, like 80s businessman, like, coffee's for closers. But I do have to say. See, I feel like you're giving news reporter, like, high school sports news reporter. High school assistant volunteer. Who goes to Don Mike? Like, you know? Brandon is killing it today. I wish I had a son. I realize having a tie I know how it feels like to be a man It's like assertiveness Well it feels like I have a dick Yes Like I feel like I was putting on my coat And I'm like oh gotta put my tie in And like I don't want to be flinging around I have to keep it And sorry I have things to report to I know how it feels like to wear a dick Because suddenly everything I say You're like you're all of a sudden Over explaining everything You're like Paige I don't know if you know the word finance, but let me tell you about it.
18:36I just feel like an alpha man. And I'm like, are you really going to talk to me while I have my fucking tie on like that? Do you not see my fucking tie? Respect the tie. And then you just want to like flip it around, hit people with it. Dude, thank God I don't have a dick. How have 15 most attractive hobbies for men to do? I would love to see this list. Because hobbies in general. Get a second job. Playing an instrument. Is there any instrument that a guy plays that you'd be like, that's kind of hot? The recorder.
19:06Actually, the fingers would be kind of hot. I'm like, oh, he's fast. No. This, I can agree with. Cooking. Yeah. But I don't want them to talk about that they do it. I just want them to do it. Woodworking? No. No. Let the Amish have one thing. And if you are a woodworker, you're a Nepo baby. If you give me a birdhouse, I'll throw it in the dirt. Painting? No. No. Painting is for me and my iPad. Swimming? I like it because it tires them out. Yeah, I'm not mad at that. Go swim. Archery? What is this? Medieval times? I'm actually not mad about it. Old money? It's giving a little bit of old money. It's giving old money.
19:43You have to have like a lawn. It's giving like quail hunting. Finally, traveling. That's not a hobby. That's not a hobby. That's not a hobby. Get jobs. Get a job. Figure it out. It's summertime and we have a lot of big moments coming up. Weddings, vacations, endless photos. and you want to feel confident in your hair. If you're dealing with hair thinning or shedding, it could be stressful. I've definitely brushed my hair before and been like, why is so much hair on my hairbrush? That's when I discovered Nutrafol. It's the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand, trusted by over one and a half million people.
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21:31Then these Levi's denim shorts popped up and I had to jump in. Lost my first auction, but then I bid again on the next and won. And that winning feeling, it's such a rush because you know everyone else wanted it too. Meanwhile, on eBay Live, you don't just watch the auction, you're in it. Download the eBay app to watch live, shop live. eBay Live, things people love. You guys know I'm somehow always spilling something on myself. The other day, I dumped an entire caramel latte down the front of my favorite sweater literally as I was walking out the door. I was like, cool, I guess I can never wear this again.
22:07But I threw it in the wash with Tide Evo and I was genuinely shocked that it got the coffee stain out. So what even is Tide Evo? It's a brand new super concentrated laundry detergent that's built differently to be Tide's best clean. It dissolves quickly with water and is made of thousands of tiny fibers that are spun together in six powerful cleaning layers to fight odor, stains, and extra work. It's 100 % concentrated with no fillers, no extra water, and no plastic bottles. All clean and no fuss. Just what I want. I love finding new products that actually make life easier. And Tide Evo has definitely earned a spot in my laundry routine.
22:47Whether my clothes have a stain or not, I'm using Tide Evo. Try the new Tide Evo Super Concentrated Laundry Detergent today. This off to college season, save on college and save the everyday. I remember when I first got to college and I thought I was prepared. I know everything that's happening. I was so focused on my daily outfits and making sure I had the perfect aesthetic that I completely forgot about one major part of college, and that's themed parties. Every other week, there was some random theme night, and I was always scrambling at the last minute trying to pull something together. Whether it was a costume, accessories, decorations, or something group theme, I somehow never had what I needed and I was constantly making a last minute purchase to save the day.
23:29College is already so chaotic enough and it's always the little things that catch you off guard. That's why I love Amazon makes off to college shopping so easy. So whether it's dorm essentials, school supplies, organizational items, or those last minute things you suddenly realize you need, Amazon has great deals, everyday low prices, a huge selection, and the convenience to help you get it all in one place. So remember, with Amazon low off to college prices, just save on college, save the everyday.
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24:33I'm 32 years old, but like I was home. So like when I step into Albany and I step onto my parents' street, I'm 16. 100%. I have to ask to leave the house. Like I could never just leave my house. Like that would be insane. Get permission. Ask when they want you home. So it's like Friday night. Sneak in a weed pen. 10 o 'clock and I'm like, it burns a little. And my mom can hear me. And here's the other thing. I'm in the bathroom in my room for like a while. Yeah. But my bathroom is above her bedroom. So she knows when I'm in the bathroom. She knows when you have a tummy ache. I hear coming up the stairs.
25:11What's going on? Are you OK? And like I immediately turned 16. I think I actually might have a UTI, but I promise I actually didn't even have sex. And she just looks at me and she goes, OK. she was like well you don't always have to have sex to get a uti you whore i was like yeah because i just was giving blowjobs i wasn't letting him go in i just did it but i'm like racking my brain because i'm like how did i get one without having sex you sat on an msg chair with like mostly men in that stadium i don't know and then i was like well did i use a new soap like have i and i was like you know what i think my immune system's just down Like I'm coming up with like all these things.
25:53I found myself on Amish TikTok. I'm surprised the Amish don't do more Amish retreats. Imagine that's the next brand trip. Giggly times Amish. Grab your bonnets, ladies. All the big influencers like rolling out dough. Hey, what's the coupon code for this dough? But I think they don't. Where'd you get that churn? You know what we need? The real housewives of Amish. Well, I'll go to Pennsylvania right now. Where the fuck is it? I want to know the gossip too. You're like, did you try Becky's butter? It was so bad. Becky can't churn butter to save her fucking life. No, her churning technique is so embarrassing.
26:33It's so choogy. She's been making those same cookies every year. Think of something else. Also, she's been doing braids for so long. Forever. We're done with the braids, Becky. They're like, oh my God, did you hear which ham Becky picked out today? Like, that's so last year. Becky like says she believes in God. She likes top 40 hands. She also like tried eyeliner the other day. So like, I don't know. No, literally. But like are you... Amish people end formal education at the eighth grade. I love it. I'm going. So did you. Yeah. Most successful people are unmarried women. No, there's a legitimate statistic that when men and women get married, the men's life...
27:14The men get more successful. Their quality of life goes significantly up and ours goes significantly down. Like and that's just science because yeah, they are now moving into a home where like everything's clean. Everything's aesthetic. Like there's a refrigerator with like more than just ketchup. And so like their their minds are blown. We're like we get in that situation and we're like towels don't go over the door. I do have to say because I can't be fake. Maybe it's like my form of feminism. I've decided that I'm going to take on the male qualities of like I don't cook. I put the towel on the door.
27:49I take my clothes Do you put the towel on the door? I mean it's lucky if it gets to the door It's on the floor I take my clothes off wherever I'm standing And I leave it I eat food and I leave it It's like this empowering thing that I do Where it's like it's not my job Because guess what? Mama's working I feel like men after a breakup will just go with the next girl Because they don't want to process the emotions And they need a girl to make them feel good Where when a girl's in a breakup She's like I'm getting new hair Whole new personality new gym new wardrobe going to an ivy league school to get a new degree might even move like and i really do believe you always level up after these traumas 100 percent that's why i'm so pro failing like failing makes you so much stronger natalie nick vile's wife yes she said something and she was like oh yeah and then i flushed my tampon and the girls were like what Wait, yeah, I'm flushing the tampon.
28:43No one's ever told me no You've been exploding pipes nationwide. I didn't know I thought the signs at different restaurants and places like don't use feminine products I was like, oh, they have bad plumbing I just thought they knew their plumbing was weaker See my mom like terrified me where she was like if you put this in the toilet the whole house will implode No, I feel like no one ever told me. No, my mom was like everyone will die No, like, I'm not worried about it for a fucking second. Literally, I've gone this long, nothing's happened. I've never heard of a toilet blowing up. I've never heard of them shutting down because feminine products.
29:19I think we're fine. I think it's something that the men gaslit us about. And they were like, we don't want it near us. You know what I think it is? You know when you have your period, you go through, like, 100 rolls of toilet paper? I think it's a toilet paper business who's like, roll up the toilet and put it in the garbage. Yep. Why has the standard for a wife stayed the same, yet the standard for a husband has gone down? She was like, my grandpa built my grandmother's house. Like, okay. Now, like, any man, he's like, cool, I'll call a task, grab it. My final thought is, like, men literally used to go to war.
29:51Like, they would, like, get... Is it even a final thought if you don't adjust your glasses, you know? Also, this whole time, this whole time I can't see. I've been fighting for my life with these fake glasses because I like the aesthetic, but like I feel blind. I can't hear. I can't talk. I feel I have nothing left. Men used to go to war. Men used to like have their arm blown off and still run and like do what they had to do. Nowadays, a man's going down on you and sees you're spotting slightly on your period. He's like, I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Men used to go to war and you can't go down on me when I'm on my period.
30:25Grow up. I miss Giggly Squad. Like I feel like something will happen on a Thursday. I'm like, am I really going to wait till Monday to tell the girl? I do have to say Thursday, I start itching. I start itching. And then I like want to tell you things and I'm like, hold it, hold it. That's why Saturday, I was like, we got to move the pod up to Sunday. I got shit to say. How about I texted you at like 8 a.m. on a Saturday morning this weekend? I was like, and I just feel like I'm really overwhelmed. No, well, you get morning anxiety. I get morning anxiety. That disappears by 1 p.m. So I'm out here all day.
30:58I'm like, I'm calling Dez. I'm like, I don't like I think Paige is having a bad day. Like, what should I tell her? Radio silence from her. I was like, call me whenever you need. I'm here. I go. She must be in an escape room right now. She must be have checked into a mental health rehab facility. And that's why she hasn't called me. Text you around 830. Just like, how you need? You go. Oh, my God. LOL. I was so dramatic. I go. I've been freaking out. Oh, my God. That was this morning. Literally so dramatic. I'm over it. non-conventionally hot men, they're calling it rodent boyfriend summer. I'm just kind of sick of like when men are ugly, them getting rebranded into a trend.
31:36No, no, no. Why can't we do that for girls? Why can't it be like long torso? Never in my life. Can't go cuties. Double chin divas. It's never greasy hair, girl summer. It's never like slightly depressed, possibly anxiety. sweaty dehydrated girl sexy summer never we grew up with like dad bods being cool which is basically like hey all the lazy guys who drink too much beer are hot the pr on the men's side is so good which is crazy because pr i thought was a woman-run business they're coming for hot girl summer like all of a sudden it's a hot rodent boyfriend summer no i was with summer was our thing but also i think we're in on it we have internalized misogyny like no i literally last episode we thought dr pepper was a man we assumed and we apologized i blamed my period instead of blaming my boyfriend this week but i think what the truth is is that most women actually don't care what men look like we just want them to be nice yeah you said the reason you decided to get a cat finally was because do you want to tell them like filling out all these fucking questionnaires that like hand is making me fill out and i free i'm starting to freak out like when i'm about to press send for the email because i'm like they're gonna email back immediately and like give me a cat and then all of a sudden I'm locked into this fucking cat and I was like I can't do it and then I had a thought and I was like no Hannah's literally my most incapable friend and she's had a cat for eight years like I'm like I've been to Hannah's apartment I'm fine.
33:12Calling me incapable is so on the nose I'm the kind of friend that like you're nervous for an event you call me you're feeling down on yourself you call me if you're going to the airport and you forgot your passport you're not calling me you're not calling me in a pinch you have to be somewhere in five minutes and like bring a document no i'll get the wrong thing i don't know how to drive but it's so true that's a major thing you don't know how to drive that's huge honestly if someone's like hide the body i don't think you ask me i think i have too big of a mouth i also don't know how to hide a fucking a body?
33:49Honestly, the admin of hiding a body? No, I would never ask you. I'd be like, wait, where should we dig? I'd voice note you. I'm like, we have to cut it, ew. Walsh. Because I'd be like, you never understand. You go, hey, can you help me hide the body? I go, I'm a voice razz. My favorite is when the Gigglers come up to me with two of them and one of them goes, she's my Hannah. And then some girl comes up like, hey. And I'm like, me and you, girl. She walks out from the bathroom.
34:21And it's always perfect. I'm like, this is perfect. Whoever has a slick back bun, I'm like, your Paige. And they're wearing bows. Like, it's actually like. No, you can spot them in a second. In a second. Did you also see the Travis Barker drumming during Courtney's birthing? No. He has two of his little sticks that he drums with. And he's drumming to the baby's heartbeat. And it's like, I mean, he's going. He's going for like a full, I mean, I think he goes for like a full 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes. Is there like beeps in the background? Like beep, beep? Nope. It's just, you can just hear him like drumming and every comment was like divorce, divorce.
35:00My husband tried to talk to me when I was giving birth and I told him to get the fuck out. I would be like, I feel like you're making this pregnancy about you right now. I would. That's like him picking up the guitar after having sex to a whole nother level. I would be like hey do me a favor take those sticks bend over and jam them right up your fucking ass are you kidding the day I give birth scram no I was about to say no literally it's like when I'm about to orgasm don't look at me something weird is gonna happen why are you here what are you what are you gonna offer to the situation I think actually the women that want their husbands in the room when they give birth that's weird I think you're weird the thing is part of me wants him like take a laugh Part of me wants him there to like make him feel bad.
35:44To be like, you fucking did this to me. And I'm going to use this against you for the rest of our relationship. Like you could never endure this. Yeah, like so then like one day I'll be like, hey, can you hand me the remote? And he'll be like, you're right there. I'm going to be like, I fucking tore my pussy hole into my butthole. And you saw it. Remember when they took my organs out and they put it on that silver plate? I'm a big screenshot girly right now. What's the percentage that you're ever going back and looking at those screenshots? Zero. Yeah. What mental illness am I suffering from that I continually keep screenshotting things that I know I will never never see again But I feel good.
36:16What are you screenshot? You know what? Let's I'll show you my screenshots Okay, I screenshot a vintage store that I want to go to in France one day Screenshotted rome and michelle's high school reunion because i've never watched it and I want to watch it once I screenshotted this girl's outfit, but a photographer was walking in front. So I missed out Four ingredient banana bark that i'm never gonna make a tweet that says what if birds don't even need to spit food into each other's mouths they just like it no my screenshots are a wild place everyone knows football is gay after the game what do they do together shower i've heard multiple men football players are not saying it's team bonding i'm sorry i'm sorry never team bonded with a friend naked the closest me and you have been to being naked in the same room together is when I'm pooping and you happen to be trying to do your makeup in the same room.
37:11Yeah. And it's against my will. I know for a fact I was in there first. I know for a fact. And that you had a chimichanga. Okay. So let's not even act like it was just us bonding. It was you having a serious problem. It was also a clean emergency. that's medical that's just medical i'm your emergency contact i was offered mdma yeah do i feel cool about it yeah wait hannah calls me after she goes to this party and she would not stop saying mdma and after the fifth time i was like it's molly stop saying mdma i'm gonna have a freak out i go since when is mdma molly you woman in stem since forever i wasn't gonna say yes but I pretended I was considering it like I'm like you know I normally would because I wanted to be cool but it's a Saturday night and I can't it literally was like totally a time where you could do it if there was ever a time it was in that moment and then people were like we're micro dosing and I'm like okay like regardless what dose I would ruin the party I would never work in this town again I actually feel like you wouldn't micro dose because you're an all or nothing girl you know so you're like if I'm gonna do it let's become drug addicts that's why weed fucks me up because everyone's like just take a little hit and I take a little hit don't feel anything take the biggest hit I've ever taken in my life can't breathe for yeah for an hour and then and then you find yourself on the bathroom floor and you're like I think I'm having a panic attack exactly just like staring at my fingernails for way too long once you give birth and you are in the state that you are in like this baby's just come out of you your stomach's still huge I can imagine that in that moment, you know if you married the right person or not.
38:57Huh? Mic drop. But I wonder how many people had the thought before they got married of like, I don't know if this is the right guy. And then right when they had a baby, it was like, this is definitely not the right guy. It's literally post baby clarity. Yeah. Do you get post baby clarity? You're at like your most vulnerable form of like, my body just went through trauma. Yep. I need someone to love me for me because I don't look the way I know myself to look. Take care of me. Yeah. No, well, that's why I think when people say, oh, we were struggling, so we want to have a baby to bond us closer, it apparently, like, makes it worse.
39:29But if your relationship's strong, it makes it stronger. But babies will expose the fuck out of it. So I found a photo of Paige dressed up like... When you picture a boy mom, like, picking her son up from practice, that's the outfit And, like, her son's name is, like, Tanner, Tucker, something crazy. Xylophones. You have like flannel on and you have your knee high boots and like you have your Starbucks order that was so complicated and unnecessary. And like the weather isn't conducive for a beanie, but she's wearing a beanie. It's part of your look because it is fall. It's part of her allure. Yes.
40:02And like she just gives that like her oldest, Trenton, she loves him the most. And like everyone knows she loves him the most. And she like writes him notes in his lunchbox that like nobody's going to ever love you the way mommy loves you. like his little girlfriend she like refers to her as little girlfriend you know and she also like wants to him speaking of bad habits i hung out with a straight man accidentally where work stuff okay they do this thing where like when they try to connect with you they keep showing you youtube videos and it made me feel like an outdoor cat who brings you a dead pigeon and you go, and then you go, oh wait, that's their love language.
40:48That's, yeah. Oh, they're trying to connect. Thank you. That's them showing affection because he showed me one video and you know like you get the point after like, and it like, I'm like, oh my God, that's so funny. I was out there for like two minutes watching it and like, oh, you watched the full. Yeah. And then I was like, okay, that was a one off. He really is passionate about this video and like 10 seconds later, he's like, oh, watch this. And I was like, oh, this is, this is a thing. This is a thing in the community.
41:14YouTube water water like men That was the question water what are men what are men do you guys waterboard each other yeah You guys do you ever say bro? I don't want to watch yeah, that's why I started calling it waterboarding because all men do is hang out and go bro watch this That'll be yeah, there's something also about when I'm watching someone's watching me watch a video I can't enjoy the video me neither Okay. Camila Cabello, go to her Instagram. Tell me this is not an exact replica of if you and I had a baby. Wait, it is. Why did we birth Camila Cabello? And like, obviously she'd be a phenomenal singer.
41:54She gets that from you. You know, she loves a mini skirt. She gets that from me. She loves wearing it with a tie. She gets that from you. Also petite, but big butt. she's tiny but she's quirky pulls out of a bang but is also outgoing yeah kind of strangers but also looks like she's an introvert extrovert yeah wait that's so funny love child i see that i'm obsessed with rocket money because i sign up for so many like subscriptions and I forget about it and that stuff adds up with rocket money it shows all your expenses in one place including subscriptions you forgot about and if you see a subscription you no longer want rocket money will help you cancel it it's amazing rocket money is a personal finance app that helps you find and cancel unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings look not all of us are women in finance but we are women in finance we're making money we have to manage our money so it's great to have an app and a tool to help us while we want to be women in the arts so we can focus on our creativity.
43:01They try to negotiate lower bills for you. It automatically scans your bills to find opportunities to save and it has a dashboard that lays out your total financial picture. I love it. There's 5 million members that have helped save a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions. That's a lot with members saving up to$740 a year when they use the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Download the Rocket Money app and enter my show name Giggly Squad in the survey so they know I sent you. Don't wait. Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about them from my show.
43:36Oh my god, guys, I've been binging the funniest TV show, FX's Adults. It's about five roommates living in New York. I mean, who would ever live in a house with that many roommates? They're leaning on each other to navigate love, work, friendship, and family. Not relatable to me and Hannah at all. while tackling pressing questions of your 20s like what if the person who inherited your fake ID is cooler than you ever were? Why does being around your family make you regress into your worst self? And how do you tell your roommates that you have other friends? FX's Adults, all episodes now streaming on Hulu.
44:09You guys know I'm somehow always spilling something on myself. The other day, I dumped an entire caramel latte down the front of my favorite sweater literally as I was walking out the door. I was like, cool, I guess I can never wear this again. But I threw it in the wash with Tide Evo and I was genuinely shocked that it got the coffee stain out. So what even is Tide Evo? It's a brand new, super concentrated laundry detergent that's built differently to be Tide's best clean. It dissolves quickly with water and is made of thousands of tiny fibers that are spun together in six powerful cleaning layers to fight odor, stains, and extra work.
44:47It's 100 % concentrated with no fillers, no extra water, and no plastic bottles. All clean and no fuss. Just what I want. I love finding new products that actually make life easier. And Tide Evo has definitely earned a spot in my laundry routine. Whether my clothes have a stain or not, I'm using Tide Evo. Try the new Tide Evo Super Concentrated Laundry Detergent today. Trying to figure out how to get the right mental health treatment for you can feel overwhelming. Talk Iatry helps you move from I know I need help to actually having a psychiatrist who listens and a clear personalized treatment plan.
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46:00Head to TalkIatry.com slash Giggly to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y dot com slash Giggly. To get matched in minutes, talkiatry.com slash giggly. We are cat moms on this pod. We love animals. Yeah. So we love PetSmart. Because look, pet care is more than a subscription. Pet parents need a partner for the predictably unpredictable life with a pet. They have auto ship. They have free same day delivery. They have store pickup. They have shipping to your house. And their store is so much fun. Have you ever partied in a PetSmart?
46:38You just go in and go nuts. Going into a PetSmart is like a dopamine hit. And let me tell you something, as a person who does have a go bag for her kitty, it's very important to me that PetSmart is same day delivery because you ever find yourself somewhere and you need a box of litter? Yeah. I've gone into PetSmart to get Butter some food and then realized she also needs more toys. And oh, she's never tried this kind of feather toy before. These are things that happen when you walk inside a PetSmart. Butter is spoiled. They truly are the one-stop shop. It delivers everything you could need as a cat mom or a pet mom.
47:13Whether it's monthly birthdays and gotcha day bashes, which obviously celebrating Daphne's birthday is really important. And I have it on my calendar. Visit your local PetSmart store or go to PetSmart.com today. PetSmart, anything for pets. I got a lot of backlash on my Instagram last night because I said, I want you to shave your head like I'm a stone. Girls were not happy. They said, first of all, I think you're sabotaging Paige Assorbo. and I go, she does that to herself. Second of all, I'm a creative. I come up with ideas. I throw ideas at Paige. I think there's an Audrey Hepburn biopic that's circulating Hollywood.
47:49That's what I heard. And I think all the actresses are trying to get that role. And so they're dressing like her. They're cutting their hair like her. And they're like, do you know who I think is going to get it? I'll say who I, who I think should get it. You say who you think should get it. One, two, three. Ariana Grande. I don't like that. I didn't cast her I've been trying to watch Wicked for We're going on seven days now I've taken seven phenomenal Naps right when it starts Wicked would be so good without the singing Wicked would be so Fucking fire without the singing Do you see how you are Glinda?
48:27Yes Ariana from what I saw 15 minutes intermittently She's crushed it She's phenomenal she's the best singer of our entire generation. I don't want her to be Audrey Hepburn. Why? She's Italian. I just think Anne Hathaway has always looked the most like her or Lily Collins. Or you. Maybe I just call the jury. I'm like, I've never acted. Put me in, coach. I've seen you on Summer House. You're pretty good. I actually almost choked one of my male friends to death this last week. The tea was piping hot. Yeah. He was like, they were talking about you and I was standing there. And I was like, oh, my.
49:10Please tell me you got a microphone. You, like, turned down the air conditioner. If that was a girl, she would have texted you in moment being like, wait till I fucking tell you what's happening to me. And we were in a two hour car ride. And I was like, get the popcorn. I'm ready to fucking go. And he was like, yeah, they brought you up. And I was like, yep. They said, what did they say? What did they say? Stop at the beginning. Stop at the beginning. And he was like, yeah, they were like, yeah. And I was like, no, no, no, from the beginning, from the beginning, I want every detail of how he was looking.
49:40Women should never be condemned for gossiping. We literally gossip because we're smarter, because we can remember more things. Guys just can't gossip because they can't remember shit. I don't talk shit. I tell a story. I entertain people. No, when I like FaceTime you with something to say, I don't just tell you what happened. I'm giving you a play. I'm a playwright. I'm setting the scene. I gossip so hard with my mom, so hard that we'll circle back and she'll be like, and now what was everyone wearing during it? And I'm like, girl. Something I'm annoyed at. Yeah. Ballet flats. What in particular are you annoyed by?
50:25Something about me wearing a ballet flat just seems like a rhinoceros trying to like ice skate. Like there's something aesthetically wrong with it. I'm meant to wear big. Okay, you're laughing too hard. I'm meant to wear like big dad sneakers because it evens out. Also flats in New York. You step in one puddle, you're done. And then if it's ballet flats, they're not for you. That was so mean. You're like, they made me just so fucking wet. They made me a job for you! You're like, sorry, it's not for everyone. Yeah, I love them. Are you just like prancing like a little cunt? I hope you step in a fucking puddle, and I hope you get chlamydia from that puddle.
51:07I literally have an audition at Juilliard out there. We don't have sisters, but what I've heard about sisters is you would like punch them in the face and tell them you want them to literally like rot in hell, and then the next morning be like, do you want to get breakfast? There are definitely two types of people, people that have brothers and then people that have sisters. I feel like if you grow up with a brother, you're a little bit tougher exterior wise. Yeah. Like it's harder to rattle you. Also, brothers are so like, they're not into the gossip and the drama where it's like you'll fight over like a Nintendo.
51:40Right. It's more like they're saying like mean things. Yeah. And then like moving on. And then like punching you. Yes. Okay. Where I feel like if you grow up with sisters, you're at a little bit more of an advantage. Emotionally. Manipulative wise. At a young age. Yeah. Oh, my God. I have a new dating, like, theory. Shit, I can't credit the right person, but it was not for me. It was someone on TikTok that men date from zero. So when men meet you and start dating you, you're a zero. And you have to build up to, like, earn them wanting to date you. Where girls date from 100. We meet you and we go, you are perfect.
52:19and then we realize all the things that get you down. Oh my God. And I've never heard anything more fucking accurate. We go in reverse order. We go in reverse. Because if I'm meeting you, I've already thought in my head what your personality is like, what your family is like, what you dress like, what our life is going to be like together. And then I meet you and you're none of those things because obviously that's insane. I made them up in my head. Where men, I guess, don't make stuff up in their head and immediately they're just like... Well, how do they get through the day? That's very accurate.
52:46So boring. I would always go into dates with men being 100. I'd be like, he's perfect. And then immediately. And then sometimes he'll even do not perfect things. And you'll be like, oh, I'll just duck two points. I'll just duck one. It's like he's in jail. That's girl math. And that's literally our campaign strategy for the 2024 election. You know, like when you're in college and you have like a hungover next day and everything's funny. And you're just like, I never want to leave this place. Like, this is the best day of my life. Like, we're all in our jammies eating food. and like everything's hilarious.
53:19No responsibilities. No one cares about you. That is Giggly Squad. It's like that hungover next morning where you're not sick. You're just silly. But you're a little sick in the head. But we're thinking it's cute. And if you have a moment of silence and you think back to everything you've ever done, you're like, ooh. You two are so silly. We are the Giggly Squad. We make money from giggling.
53:53Okay, so if you're not caught up on Hannah and Paige Try New Things on YouTube, catch up because the finale, the huge Radio City finale, is coming a week from today, Monday, July 14th at 6 p.m. Eastern. Be there on time. Watch it live with us.
54:10In the meantime, we thought we'd share some stupid stuff that got left on the cutting room floor for the gigglers that want the deep cuts. Cut that part for sure. We're not cutting it. Hobson, if you cut it, cut that. This episode needs to be deleted. This episode needs to be deleted. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras. In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try deleted scenes. She could call it bloopers. Yeah, let's call it bloopers. That's fun. In no particular order, here's Hannah and Paige try bloopers. I was a gay man in a past life. It's different than a lesbian. All press is go press.
54:48Right. All press is go press. It was second. Ow. Oh. Oh. Oh. Are you friends? You should try Invisalign. Are we going to see water aliens today? Bubble house. We're not a rock band. I'm sorry. You don't really like soda. No, I think the bubbles are violent. I like the burn. Because we are living in the two. OK. There she is. There she is. This is us. Do we like crocs or alligators more? Like I don't want to pit women against each other, but. I like a crocodile. Okay, well then I like alligators. Should we become trad wives? I need a husband first. Your kids are going to be monsters. You think?
55:29No, I feel like my kid's going to come out of my womb, look at me and be like, ew. Well, let's be honest, your kid is Daphne. And when you leave, she on your pillow. Yeah. We're having a mound conversation. She's kind of the problem. No, and the coach is like saying really mean stuff to me and I'm like, I told you I didn't want to wear these tight pants. I feel like the guy on the left is judging her outfit and he doesn't understand. It's a uniform, don't you get it? Also, I've been training my whole life for this moment and they're pretending this is a joke to them. It's not a joke. This honestly smells so bad.
55:59It smells good, right? I'm so sweaty. I'm winded. I'm hungry. I'm breaking. I don't shower. Wow, ChatGPT has changed you. And I don't think it's for the better. Do you know what's ChatGPT? ChatBT for bitches? Chee, G-P-T. G-B-T. G-P-T. P, not B. Oh, wait, why can't I hear anything? G-P-T. Yeah, chat G-P-T. For preschoolers. No, it's not chat G-B-T. Oh, okay. G-P-T. Yeah. Oh, grandpa physical therapy. Yep. People ask how we prepare for a show and we try and stretch and we try and just get our blood flowing. Didn't get my full morning poop. I kind of needed poop, but I can't. What if I had a Starbucks and I'd fly?
56:50Am I embarrassing you? You're screaming. I love how cat eye is so intense. I feel like I'm getting a boob job. If the left one's a little big. Oh my God, the San Luis trials during TikTok would have been crazy. 50-part series exposing this man. I think I was an Amazonian woman, and I think you were a flower in the Amazon. Okay. And I was like, I love that flower. We were thinking of Grace, too. We were like, Grace was either our mom or Grace was our daughter and we were in a lesbian relationship in the 1800s. Wait, Summer House, we never got to do interviews together because of the patriarchy.
57:22That's so true. We would have crushed. This is the thing, I always felt really connected with the gays and now I know why. Dandy is a man who's very concerned with his appearance, grooming and lifestyle. You may also enjoy refined language and leisurely hobbies. I know. So I was basically a real housewife of England, but if I was a man. Oh, just a fancy boy. Oh, that's me! I wore one of those little tie things. Just a fancy man. And I probably saw you on the street with all your dying children. You were probably like, no. Gay men love you. Yes. Like when gay men see us, they go, I'm a page. Yeah, I'm very connected to the gay men inside.
58:02And like you do put my bags in the overhead luggage. No, I'm literally your boyfriend. Yeah. But I do, I love fashion, but I am tired. I think I had to put together a lot of outfits back in the day. And you also like things that are like, pazzas. I like chic, minimalist, like fashion-y outfits. You like things that are like, oh, what if we like added a red feather? So next time you're mean about my outfit, you're being homophobic. So moral of the story, Hannah's gay and I am depressed. We're both depressed and have mental problems. Tell us something we don't know, psychic. When you're over 30, take eye, go swipe up.
58:40It's so good. I just looked at her and I said, Daphne, stop. Stop. You know how your mom feels now. Yeah. You were raised Catholic, right? What did Jesus say? Catholics don't believe in... Evil. No, they believe in evil. But they believe that Jesus rose from the dead. Yeah, he was like going through something. He's an influencer. So we just have to be like... I've already told God. You told God? I love how God is dealing with three wars right now, but he's like, wait, Paige the Sorgos is going to Salem. Guy got me a beta blocker, so he's in tune with what's going on with me. Two types of girls.
59:17They forgot my sausage legs. Do you have a spoon in there? There were three girls in the front row that were like, my finger, my hands tingle too when I have a panic attack and they go numb and I felt very seen. No, we were like, who had a panic attack today? And I swear the entire crowd was like, me! If you're not having panic attacks at the club, like you're not on tour, it felt bigly. Also I didn't know we could get closer, like I feel we're closer. Me and you? Yeah. I mean I was like, at one point I was tapped, I was going like this. Did you like when I was rubbing your back? I couldn't even tell.
59:52I feel like I've watched a couple softball games. Okay, you're making that up just so you can look bad. No, it's sometimes on ESPN. You don't even have ESPN at your house. We couldn't find ESPN that one day at your house. Stop. I think one of the guys should walk up to Cardi B WAP. There's some holes in this house. There's some holes in this house. That would be a good one. Sudafod Pre! Seven days away. Not to speak about my husband again, but we almost got a divorce because I didn't have TSA Pre. I was on his side for that. No, you were. And you were right. You guys were actually right. I won't even travel with someone who's on TSA Pre.
1:00:24I feel better than them. Flying is an art form that Paige and I have not mastered yet. Paige is a little annoyed with me because I liked her luggage. So I bought the same luggage, which has made our lives more complicated. If you went home and it was just all my smelly clothes. Like I got your luggage and you got mine. You wouldn't know that you had my luggage for two months because you don't unpack. That was so messed up. Don't listen to a word she says. You know what we should have done for Halloween? We should dress as each other and I dress as the muu muu outfit and you dress Okay, so this is how I do my wigs This is how you do your wigs?
1:01:06This is the first time you've ever done a wig I've never done a wig before. It's literally chaos So first you just kind of You go like this with your hair, then you go like this You just go But you're wearing a low bun. Oh! Oh, that makes it so much easier. Well now I look like Thomas Jefferson.
1:01:30You look like a penis. I do look like a penis. If we walked on stage in jeans and a baggy t-shirt and sneakers, people would be like, you didn't get ready. But any male comedian could go out disheveled. We're starting four hours before the show. Milk comedians are still jerking off in the bathroom. Wait, I'm literally Mormon. Now I need my eyelashes. Which, I don't have eyelash glue, but I don't think I'm gonna need it. The main ingredient. I just want them to... And fake eyelashes is the glue. I think I could have nailed it. Ow. I do look more like that woman in the documentary about the apes.
1:02:09Tonka? Yeah.
1:02:15Wait, you do. Is it going to make me do the worm? No, don't let me. You need to protect me more. No, I mean you don't get it. You need to protect me. Thank God we weren't in high school together because I would have gotten you to do so many things. Your peer pressure meter is zero. I'd be like, wouldn't you find me if I'm like, yes. You're like, no, I really can't find it. And then you're like, updoing it. No, I was so bad. People would be like, take ayahuasca. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm gonna have to take eye on. So I have this pimple right here. And at first I was upset and then I realized I look like Cindy Crawford when I go like this.
1:02:51That's that ink spray. I don't know if it does anything. I think it's BS. You probably need like a really good primer. I think your fingers are too skinny and nothing's happening right now. No, I give great air. They flat sometimes. You didn't put it on your face. Hold your breath. Okay, that was a lot. That's how much you have to do. Oh, I'm suing this company. I'm suing our company. Put on the company card. Put on the company card. Okay, she just blinded me. Completely blinded. I look like a serial killer. I look like, okay. Why does every costume you put on look like the HBO lady?
1:03:36Why is every costume tonka? Wait, I can watch the YouTube people of you just doing Halloween costumes. Isn't this cute? The tuck. Let me see.
1:03:51I don't hate it. I actually, I don't hate it. That's the thing. That's, but that's the worst when you actually feel nothing about it.
1:04:03I didn't do that look. Second of all, I didn't say I hated it. Did I say that? Do you like it? No. Look, it's very you. I like that you like those kind of dresses. I have personally don't like those kind of dresses on me. Do you like it on me? I also can't do that either. Should I wear this? No, it's too slutty. I've realized through Paige, actually, she's inspired me that the more put together I look, the better things come of it. It's just that sense of I look good, I feel good. Yes, you play good. Oh, I would have loved to have had to pick out tennis outfits. We would have lost every match, but we would have won the best looking girl.
1:04:52So I realized that this shirt I'm going to sweat through. So who needs Botox? Can't tell, unless it falls out. It is a little itchy too. I need period pads. Are there period pads in here? Or are they sexist?
1:05:15Not even a tampon. Do you see what we have to deal with as a woman in the arts?
1:05:26Hey, Gigglers. Story time. I've been watching eBay Live the past few days to shop some rare finds. Not even bidding at first, just lurking. I saw a Fendi baguette go for an absolute bargain. Then these Levi's denim shorts popped up, and I had to jump in. Lost my first auction, but then I bid again on the next and won. And that winning feeling, it's such a rush because you know everyone else wanted it too. Meanwhile, on eBay Live, you don't just watch the auction, you're in it. Download the eBay app to watch live, shop live. eBay Live, things people love. This off to college season, save on college and save the every day.
1:06:04I remember when I first got to college and I thought I was prepared. I know everything that's happening. I was so focused on my daily outfits and making sure I had the perfect aesthetic that I completely forgot about one major part of college, and that's themed parties. Every other week, there was some random theme night, and I was always scrambling at the last minute trying to pull something together. Whether it was a costume, accessories, decorations, or something group theme, I somehow never had what I needed, and I was constantly making a last-minute purchase to save the day. College is already so chaotic enough, and it's always the little things that catch you off guard.
1:06:39That's why I love Amazon makes off-to-college shopping so easy. So whether it's dorm essentials, school supplies, organizational items, or those last minute things you suddenly realize you need, Amazon has great deals, everyday low prices, a huge selection, and the convenience to help you get it all in one place. So remember with Amazon low off to college prices, just save on college, save the everyday.
We put together our favorite giggles from the past few years.
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