Do Compliments Make You Squirm? Here's Why.

0:28This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. job on your presentation yesterday. I learned so much. Oh yeah. Yeah, it was whatever. Well, you're actually not alone. One of HBR's authors conducted a study of more than 400 people and found that nearly 70 % associate compliments with feelings of embarrassment or discomfort. He observed that in most cases that discomfort we feel comes from surprise. Our body's physiological response to unexpected events follows a pretty predictable pattern. When it comes to receiving compliments, it might look like this. First, we freeze. Even if we're hearing good news, it can feel emotionally intense if we're caught off guard.

1:09After that initial surprise, we start to look for answers. We may try to figure out why someone said something nice about us. And that can be confusing if the compliment conflicts with some negative view we already have about ourselves. Next, we start to shift our perspective to try and shuffle that new information we're receiving into our existing outlook. For a lot of us this means brushing aside the compliment or reducing its value. Finally we respond or we share what we think out loud. Sometimes I'm good at random stuff. The next time someone compliments you just remember that they're sharing their experience and not yours even if it catches you off guard or you don't necessarily agree with it.

1:50A good first step is just to say thank you.