How Do I Move Forward from a Big Mistake at Work? | S1E4 | New Here

0:00Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes.

0:44I actually had a dream like two nights ago. I had a dream that we did this interview and I was like doing it for my bed at home. And then I realized like 30 minutes in that I wasn't recording on my end. And then I was like, oh, no, I've made a mistake.

1:02Welcome to New Here, honest conversations and practical advice to help you play the game called work. I'm Eleni Mata. This week, we're talking about how to recover after making your first big mistake in a new job. That means everything from hitting reply all on a private email to bigger mistakes that might threaten your job, Like dropping the ball on a big deadline or accidentally offending a client. Either way, messing up at work is scary, especially when you're new. I wanted to talk to someone who has been there, who has made mistakes that still wake them up in the middle of the night, but also someone who can give us the perspective of a manager and what's going through their head when you mess up.

1:46So we went to Prisca Neely. She's the voice you heard at the top of the show. Obviously, she's somebody who still remembers the mistakes she made early in her career And those mistakes can be really public in her industry She's been a radio producer and later a public radio reporter in California Finally, a couple of years ago, she became a manager Now she leads a team of eight reporters and editors at public radio stations in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama And it's her job to help her team get through all of their mistakes, big and small The environment that Prisca works in is fast-paced and high-pressure.

2:24Mistakes are bound to happen, and they can go viral. But she's also somebody who thinks carefully about helping her team through those issues, so they can move forward. Today, we'll hear some of the mistakes she and her team make. She'll tell us how to acknowledge things and work with your manager to find a resolution. And she'll answer some of your questions about messing up at work. Okay, here we go.

2:48Priska Neely:Why does making a mistake at your first job feel more stressful? Like, why do you feel that the stakes are just so much higher? Yeah, I mean, I think that, like, a lot of things with work are about perspective. And, you know, I remember, like, when I was starting out as a reporter, you know, I'd been a producer for a long time. So working on shows behind the scenes, but I hadn't really had a byline, hadn't really had my own voice on the radio. And so the first time I started doing that and I had done, you know, like a little radio spot, like a 45 second thing. But it was still so nerve wracking.

3:24And, you know, it was like such a big deal to hear myself on the radio for the first time. And, you know, then a couple of years in, you're like, whatever. I filed a spot without looking. I did it with my eyes closed. And then you have like your first big story or your first big investigation and you're really nervous about that. And then you move on from that. You know, so it's like everything kind of shifts perspective and you kind of brush things off. But when you're doing something for the first time, it's like you're thinking so much about every detail because every detail is new. So then it feels like the stakes are a lot higher.

3:57Priska Neely:Yeah. Yeah. I remember like when I first started in media, like I first started doing reporting live and I didn't want to mess up my script or anything at all. Um, especially live because it's live, it's live, but me also being a control freak, I want to know like, what are the all worst possible outcomes that can happen? And like, can I control any of them not happening? And I think that's also really hard, too. You want to kind of like protect yourself from making a mistake because it hurts to make a mistake. It hurts to fail in some way. But it's also this misconception that a mistake means failure.

4:38Priska Neely:Do you think making a mistake means failing? No, I think I think you learn from things. I mean. Hey, Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know, back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new Fave footwear? Step into a local Croc store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins, Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self.

5:26What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. How do you learn? You know, you observe, you try, and then you're either right or wrong. And if you get in a situation where you're wrong, it's kind of like how you handle that and how you how you move on from that, I think is what matters the most. When I think about my career as a manager, it was something that I'd been working toward for a long time. And I knew that I wanted to be in leadership from early in my career. So it felt like really a lot of pressure to finally get that job, the job that you've been working toward for your whole career.

6:07So it's like, oh, my gosh, OK, now I finally gotten this job. And it was just I felt like there were so many eyes on me because it was a new new initiative. And I am a young black woman, you know, in leadership, in public radio, in a field, you know, where there are not that many people who look like me in a position that I have. So I was putting a ton of pressure on myself, you know. And so a lot of times I wonder, it's like, is it a mistake or is it something that you're like making up that you were supposed to do that no one told you that you were actually supposed to do? You know, so that's what I had to kind of realize a lot in the beginning that separating these standards that I had in my head from what like I was actually supposed to be doing.

6:55Priska Neely:So it was a mistake for you. Like you were like, oh, I I shouldn't have done that. Is that what you mean? Yeah. You know, I think when you're starting a new job and you don't necessarily have clear expectations and standards and maybe you have very general ideas of what you are supposed to accomplish, but you don't have that kind of broken down incrementally, then you're like, okay, in order to feel productive, I need to do X, Y, Z by, you know, certain time. And then if things just aren't happening, sometimes that can feel like a mistake or that can feel like failure. But then I started realizing, oh, like who is saying that?

7:41And that's like, well, I am. I'm the only person who thought that we had to get that story done by tomorrow or thought that I was going to be hiring by this date. That was one thing that that was really, you know, when you talk about perspective and kind of getting perspective when you move away from something. you know, I started in September of 2020 and was supposed to be hiring a bunch of people. And I just felt like everything was taking so long. You know, the interviews, the scheduling, anytime I like lost a day because I needed to push something back, I was like, oh, no, this is taking forever.

8:16It's taking forever. And then when I looked back, you know, it was like, so I started in September and by February I had hired three people. And so that was like doing something brand new over the pandemic and during like the holidays, which is a very hard time to hire people. So then when I when I looked back and I like talked to mentioned it to one of my colleagues, she was like, oh, no, we thought you hired super fast. And I was just like, oh, OK, well, I guess that was actually fine. You know, but I was also learning and doing so many things for the first time. So, yeah, I think that definitely feedback is key.

8:52And I think a lot of times when we don't get feedback, it's very easy to make up narratives that are sometimes false about what people may or may not be thinking about you when probably no one is thinking about you.

9:04Priska Neely:Yeah. And that's like when a mistake happens, you really, I know for me, like I beat myself up and like my biggest enemy is me. Like I will always make myself feel worse than probably if I were to go to my higher up and say like, Hey, I did this. And they'll be like, Oh, that's okay. I was like, really? Because I just, yeah, I just put myself through like this huge emotional turmoil. Well, you know, you're like the main character of your own life. So, of course, whatever. Hey, Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know, back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear?

9:39Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. You've done. You're going to be thinking about it. but your boss is the main character of their own life and they may have other things they may have other direct reports they have got a family they've got whatever they're not thinking about you okay so then you know how much i mean you're a manager how much does your boss affect how you feel about making a mistake i mean i think that it can be huge and i think that for me everything is like foundational everything is from the beginning how can you create standards expectations of like how you will deal with future mistakes so for my team as part of my onboarding process we have like a very kind of deep conversation on like day two or three after I hire someone where I ask them these questions about how they like to be supervised and like you know what is the best way for me to come to you with an issue?

11:13How do you respond to stress? How do you respond, you know, when you're frustrated? And another one of the guiding principles that like we've established together is that do not needlessly toil alone is one of them. It's like ask for help if you need it. Because I think one of the things that kind of breeds mistakes is people trying to figure things out for themselves.

11:34Priska Neely:Yes. And, you know, they should have just asked somebody. and I know that those things can feel really scary to ask your boss and so you know on the one hand I would try to get really clear on expectations from the beginning you know what are you looking for from me what do you want me to do so that you're not making those things up in your head like I should have done this I should have done this and no one was expecting you to do those things you know but then on the flip side of that if you aren't comfortable having that um those conversations with your boss get a buddy ask somebody else you know and so i always try to provide that with people on my team to say you know i am here let me know if you have any questions i will you know be happy to answer them but i also know because of people's previous jobs and like work trauma and stuff people may not be comfortable with that they may not believe me when i say that i'm not going to hold it against them yeah so i give usually give them a buddy and say, if you don't ask me, ask this person on the team.

12:33You know, they will answer all of your questions. Ask them any dumb questions that you are not comfortable asking me.

12:38Priska Neely:Yeah. I'm curious for you as a manager, and you said you had a team of eight. Have any of them made mistakes? I think that, you know, I think the moments that I would consider mistakes are the moments where they didn't just didn't ask for help. It's like we could have just avoided the situation if you just told me what was going on. You just asked me. Yeah. That's really funny because we did an episode on bad bosses and we interviewed my former boss. And she had said that we so there's an ongoing joke about the printer. Like the printer was probably one of the hardest things that we could figure out because we did it to fax.

13:18Priska Neely:We needed to make up like it's simple. It's a printer. But we always messed up. And she said it all the time. And she said it in our interview. Like I would rather you ask me the same question 50 times and me help you than you doing it incorrectly because we spend more time correcting your mistake when you could have just asked me like, hey, how do I do this? And it's but she gave us this. And I think it's hard because not all managers do this. She gave us the safe environment that it's OK to ask for help and it's OK to say like, hey, I made a mistake. Like, what do I do? And not all managers are like that.

13:56Priska Neely:Not all managers are so thoughtful about planning ahead for mistakes the way that you are. So it's hard. I would say probably most, you know, and I mean, I mean, the way that I lead my team is basically doing the opposite of what was done for me in many of my previous positions. Hey, Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know, back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new Fave footwear? Step into a local croc store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next.

14:41Visit your nearest croc store today. Propel Fitness Water. With Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins, Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. You know, so this environment is not, you know, what a lot of people are going to be dealing with when you're honest about it. But I think there are ways to kind of reverse engineer things to say, I would really, you know, I'd really like to have like one on one check ins every week or every other week. You know, that's something that would really help me, especially as I'm starting out.

15:21I'd really like that just like touch point for feedback. So asking for that, I think, is something that people can do. But when something is, you know, a mistake that you made, you know, whether it's an error in a story that's just been published or, you know, one time I went and did an interview with someone and I just wasn't recording the entire time.

15:46Priska Neely:oh i oh i've done that oh i've done that oh my gosh so what are you gonna do are you gonna are you gonna like cry are you gonna go and secretly redo it or i don't know i mean there's so many different ways that you could do but i i would think that you know going to a manager and saying hey and you know i messed up trying to get ahead of it to a certain extent so that they don't hear about it from someone else. I was talking to a friend who was like, felt like they messed up during a presentation and that everyone was sort of grumbling about it. But I'm like, would you not feel better if you just went to your boss and said, hey, you know, we had this presentation earlier.

16:32I feel like I like it didn't really go that great. And I just wanted to let you know, like I'm aware. And these are the things that I would do differently next time.

16:40Priska Neely:So when somebody you manage like makes a mistake, does it affect your trust in them? I think the most important thing is just really like, you know, are they coming to me? Are they letting me know about it? I think that that's big to just, you know, kind of be upfront about it, own the mistake. And then how do things proceed? If they're in a situation like that in the future, are they making the same mistake? Are they kind of bringing that up? Are they kind of even looking to get ahead of it? Like, you know, I know that one time I didn't record. So this time I'm looking to do X to make sure, you know, that I that I do.

17:16Priska Neely:Me looking at my Zoom recorder to make sure I'm recording. Yeah. I'm looking, you know, kind of thinking about the ownership and then the learning from it. Yeah. Does it feel like they've learned a lesson or does it feel like they are just like, oh, whatever.

17:38coming up after the break we'll take your questions about mistakes at work like what to do when your boss catches you talking about them behind their back be right back

17:53Priska Neely:so we have some questions from listeners that i would love to throw your way okay and The first one is an anonymous one, and they submitted it through text, so I'm going to read it. They said, I often struggle to understand which mistake is okay to make and part of being human, and which mistakes are too bad. My coworkers often tell me that I stress over minor things. I check my work multiple times, and I still feel concerned about its quality despite having done my best. Sometimes I struggle to maintain focus as well. How do I tackle this issue? That sounds like I wrote it. I didn't, though. Yeah, I guess that's where I would think that having either that internal work buddy who you can say, should I be freaking out about this?

18:46And they're like, what? No, no one cares about that. I don't know. I mean, I guess the other thing is just really realizing what people care about and what they don't. Like, I used to moderate a lot of events when I was first starting out. Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First Day Fits handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today.

19:29Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade electrolytes, zero sugar, and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self. What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes. As a reporter, it was like we had to kind of have two panel events per year. And I used to get so, so, so nervous before them, you know, prepping the questions what am I going to wear how am I going to sit where are the people what if there's an awkward silence what if I say someone's name wrong and then I realized that like no one in the audience is actually like grading you or paying attention in that way I think that may be one of the things that like coming out of school you don't get graded at work in the same way you know you know like you're not it's a different type of it's different type of expectation landscape.

20:21And, you know, I'm moderating these events. And then I realized, like, one, people don't really care. Like, I'm a pretty good speaker. Like, I'm probably, if I prepare and then if I stay present in the conversation, it's probably going to be fine. But if I do make a mistake, I usually kind of laugh or make a, you know, kind of make fun of myself or like, whoops, sorry, got that wrong. You know, just kind of keep it moving. Like, just keep it keep it moving and not holding on to it so tightly as something to really to really be

20:54Priska Neely:thinking about okay so next this question is from mimi and she submitted it through text so i will read it i just began my first job ever at a big bank we use teams and in shared chat i complained about my manager on accident everyone including him saw i literally don't know how to recover and I already apologized, but he's not happy. Advice? So that's rough. I mean, that's a rough situation. Yeah. Like, to be like, okay, yes, that is a mistake. So, one, it sounds like you owned it, right? So in the apologizing, that's owning it. I don't know what the complaint was. I don't know if it's something that's going to be evident in any interaction, but I think it's important for you know for you to kind of realize that there will come a point where that is not always on your boss's mind try to get to normal try to get to a place where you're not like cowering and apologetic every time because then it's gonna be like why are you acting like that oh that's right because that one time you complained about me in teams you know so I think moving on and then never doing that again you don't complain about people in work platforms.

22:13Priska Neely:So I have one last question for you. I have a lighthearted one. What's what's getting you through the week? It's Thursday. It's almost Friday. What is getting you through this week? I have I have a lot of plants and my plants bring me a lot of joy. What's your favorite plant? Oh, no, I don't have I don't have favorites. It's like, you know, I have my 40 plant children. But I have a lot that are like popping out new leaves right now. So I look forward to walking in and into different rooms. I usually do like a walkthrough of my apartment and kind of greet everyone in the morning, see what's changed overnight.

22:52And so call it like an unfurl watch, seeing the leaves unfurl and be like in the morning, like, look at you. Look at you. I love that. So every morning when I wake up, I'm like, what have my plants done overnight? I really do love my plants like a lot, like really a lot.

23:10Priska Neely:That alone just sounds very therapeutic. Yeah, no, they're really great. Well, thank you, Prisca, so much for taking the time to, one, talk to us and giving us your perspective on making mistakes. Yeah, thanks for having me. Prisca Neely is the managing editor for NPR's Gulf States Newsroom. Here are my biggest takeaways that I got from Prisca. If you think you made a mistake, check and be sure it's real. So find a work buddy or a mentor who you trust and talk about it with them.

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24:42Wayfair, every style, every home. Next, if you are sure that you made a mistake, just own it. Talk to your boss and anyone else and make a plan on moving forward. And then the last one that I really think is important, do think about ways to avoid that mistake in the future. But don't dwell on your mistake, even if it is a big one. You're here to do a job. And if you didn't get fired, then just keep going. Next week, we'll be talking about office etiquette. All the little rules about how to behave at work that everyone seems to know but you. Some of these are just manners, right? But it actually goes a lot deeper than that.