How to Forge Your Mental Strength

0:01This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18+. Propel Fitness Water with Gatorade Electrolytes, zero sugar and vitamins. Propel hydrates better than water to help you get the most out of your workout and get back to your best self.

0:37What propels you? Propel with Gatorade electrolytes.

0:41Amy Morin:Mental strength is really a continuum. Everybody possesses it to some degree, just like physical strength. But people aren't either mentally strong or mentally weak. It's that we have a certain amount of mental strength. And then we can always choose to become stronger. There's always room for improvement. It's all about the choices you make, the exercises you do, and the way that you choose to live your life. You know it's a problem when you feel like you're not reaching your greatest potential. When you know that there are things you could be doing but you don't do them because something's holding you back, it's usually our mindset.

1:09Amy Morin:There's something going on that's causing us to not take those steps that we want to take.

1:16Amy Morin:So there's a big difference between being mentally strong and acting tough, and a lot of people get that mixed up. So people who are acting tough will say things like, failure isn't an option. Well, if you want to be mentally strong, it's more about recognizing failure might actually happen but I'm strong enough to deal with it if it does. So whether you're going to ask for a promotion or you're going to apply for a new job, it's not about positive thinking and thinking this is definitely going to turn out right. Maybe it's about realistic thinking and recognizing this may not work, but to also remind yourself you're strong enough to handle it.

1:51Amy Morin:So anxiety is meant to keep us safe. If you didn't have any anxiety, you wouldn't look both ways before you cross the road. If there's a hungry lion chasing you, you knew to run. And somewhere along the lines, we started confusing, say, social rejection and small failures in the office with thinking that somehow that's dangerous. In today's world, we don't face nearly as many of those same physical kinds of dangers. Maybe it is a social risk. Maybe it's a financial risk. Our brains often have false alarms. If you're in a situation where you're in physical danger, you want that alarm bell to go off.

2:21Amy Morin:But you don't want it to go off when you're just, say, asking for a raise, because it makes it much more difficult to do. So just recognizing I'm not in danger, my body thinks I am, and that's why my heart is beating fast and my palms are sweaty. But that just because you feel that way doesn't mean that you shouldn't take the risk.

2:40Amy Morin:An important part of building mental strength is about doing things that challenge you. Just like if you wanted to build physical strength, you need to lift weights. And when those weights aren't heavy anymore, you need to lift heavier weights. So it comes down to recognizing what's kind of uncomfortable for you and how do you take those steps. And it's different for all of us. For some people speaking up in a meeting is terrifying. For other people it's no big deal, they can't stop talking in fact. So to just recognize what are some small things I could do that would challenge myself. And it might be striking up a conversation at a networking event.

3:09Amy Morin:It might be saying I'm going to speak up two times in every meeting I go to. Or maybe it's about I'm going to respond to emails and say no because I'm a people pleaser. Just asking yourself, what are some small things that I could do that would be a little bit risky, that would challenge me to step outside my comfort zone and then keep practicing it until it doesn't get scary anymore.

3:32Amy Morin:The more that you keep challenging yourself at a moderate pace, the more that you realize you're stronger than you think. And you'll actually train your brain to see yourself as more capable and more competent than you think that you are. Because there's a good chance right now your brain will talk you out of doing anything that's uncomfortable. Your brain wants you to stay in your comfort zone. So it will tell you, don't apply for that new job. Don't speak up in that meeting. Nobody's going to listen to you. Don't volunteer to give a presentation. When you do those things, even though your brain's telling you not to, your brain will start to shift.

4:00Amy Morin:It will start to see, okay, maybe you can do these things. Once you train your brain to think differently, it becomes easier because then your brain won't try to talk you out of doing anything that's uncomfortable. And sometimes you just have to think about worst case scenario. You apply for a promotion and you don't get it. Well, then how would you handle that? what would you do? And sometimes we imagine ourselves just so fragile that we think we can't handle it. We think, oh I'll be so sad, I'll be so embarrassed. But to really just take a minute and think, well how could I handle feeling sad?

4:27Amy Morin:How can I handle my embarrassment in a healthy way? Just reminding yourself of that can give you the courage to take the leap.

4:37Amy Morin:So even though I've been talking about mental strength for years now, I continue to still challenge myself and find things that are tough. Again, it's not always about what other people might think and stuff. I can get on stage, I can speak in front of a group of people and I feel like that is comfortable. But sometimes what's not as comfortable is say going to a networking event where I don't know anybody. So I challenge myself before I walk in the door. I'm gonna meet five people when I'm here today. And so I'm always finding different ways in my life to say how do I get better, how can I get stronger, how can I challenge myself to be slightly uncomfortable.

5:07Amy Morin:And life gets so much easier. The things that I used to find difficult, no problem now. And so I just always am working at how do you just stay just uncomfortable enough that you feel like you're growing, learning, and building more mental muscle?

5:27I'm Gwen Washington from Snap Judgment, the storytelling podcast from KQED. Imagine, an iconic piece of paradise overrun by one of the most horrific fires in recent memory. Everyone flees, everyone, except one person who decides to fight the flames alone. The moment when nature, institutions, and technology fail at the exact same time. That's All Systems Down and new Snap Judgment miniseries from KQED. Tap to listen now. Close your eyes, exhale, feel your body relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.

6:09I got them delivered free from 1-800-CONTACTS. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-CONTACTS.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-CONTACTS. Experience a membership that backs your business journey with American Express Business Platinum. When you pay with membership rewards points for all or part of an eligible flight booked with a qualifying airline through Amex Travel, you can get 35 % of those points back, up to 1 million points back per calendar year. American Express Business Platinum.

6:49There's nothing like it. Terms apply. Learn more at americanexpress.com slash business dash platinum.