It’ll Feel Weird to Be Around People Again at Work. That’s Fine.

0:28This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. tank top styles and even a dress. Now in new fun summer colors, Flow Y brings a racerback shape to streamline styles you can wear anywhere. Our buttery soft Nulu fabric feels nearly weightless with sweat wicking four-way stretch for comfort you'll want to keep on after practice. Flow freely on and off the mat with light support and refined design. Shop Flow Y now at lululemon.com. As some of us start to head back into the workplace, we're going to have to adjust to something we haven't done in a long time, be around other people. And it's going to feel weird.

1:05As a social psychologist, I'm here to tell you that that's okay. Just embrace it. And I also want to share with you a little bit about why it's going to feel so weird so that you can apply some strategies that are going to leave you feeling a little bit more prepared and hopefully make it a little less weird for everyone. We had something we could do when we were all working from home that was really kind of quite nice. You could just turn your camera off. We're going back into a world where for at least some of the time, most of us won't have that option. There's no turning your camera off. You can't go and hide.

1:42That impression management stuff is really exhausting, right? Having to care about how you look, not just whether or not you have made yourself look nice, right? Whether you have done your hair and dressed nicely, but even like your facial expressions, right? Like having to pay attention to how you're coming across to other people, your body language. And if you're a little bit out of practice being around other people, one of the best things you can do is actually just ask questions, right? At the end of a conversation, ask, how did I come across? Like, how did how did that go did i seem like normal in that meeting like did i seem like i was because what i was trying to convey was that i was actually really happy about this or i was really excited give them the opportunity to say like well you seemed a little upset during that conversation or you seemed a little angry maybe you weren't any of those things but you're so not used to paying attention to what you're doing with your face and paying attention to what you're doing with your body that you may lapse into doing things you're not realizing you're doing and sending signals you may not realize you're actually sending.

2:43And that way you can start to relearn what you need to do in conversations to put people at ease, to more clearly telegraph your intentions, because you're a little bit out of practice. It is just really exhausting to just have to talk a lot. Your brain has to do a lot of work in order to actually make meaningful conversations. You also, again, have the impression management part, right? How am I coming across? Do I look smart? Do I look foolish? So while we are communicating, we're also engaging in a bunch of what psychologists would call metacognition. We are thinking about our own thinking.

3:21We are thinking about our own speech. Do that long enough and you're going to get really, really tired. There's a couple of things that I think can help us manage how exhausting it will be to talk to people all day again. plan your day in such a way that you're going to get some alone time in the past when you may not have felt you needed it as much you might have been uh someone who often went to lunch with other people other colleagues in your office or if you were going to go get a coffee um you would ask other co-workers if they wanted to get a coffee with you now is a time to think good sleep is everything that's why ollie's science back support is made with a blend of melatonin and l-theanine for both kiddos and grown-ups.

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4:42That's Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Need a hiring hero? This is a job for Indeed sponsored jobs. About when can I get some alone time? Taking that lunch by yourself or taking that walk to go get a cup of coffee by yourself. So you have a little bit of time in your day that you've carved out for quiet and for just as important you not having to deal with talking to other people. Another thing that's really important to do is to realize that you don't have to do all the talking. One of the things that you can do to make it easier is just ask more questions. People, by the way, love to be asked questions because in general, people do like talking about themselves.

5:24And while they're talking, you'll get a little bit of a break. One of the most surprising things to people when they're sort of reentering the world, they're out and around people again in groups, is how shockingly difficult it is to process conversation. You're in a room with a group of people and multiple conversations are happening at the same time. And I will tell you that I experienced this and it was mind-blowing to me how difficult it was for me literally to process the language around me, to follow any particular conversation, because my brain was also managing the fact that it was overhearing other conversations happening at the same time.

6:05Our brains are actually normally quite good at being able to sort of push away the noise and really zero in on what you want to be focused on. Except what happens with the brain is that if there's something you don't use for a very long time, it sort of atrophies a little bit. And the more things we have that we have to pay attention to, the more strenuous it is, the more exhausting. If you're in a position to do so, let's say you're in a gathering of people and you start to hear people talking over each other and multiple conversations going on, it never hurts to just say like, hey guys, you know, post COVID, this is really a little bit overwhelming.

6:43So can we try to just have one conversation at a time? I think that would help everyone. That kind of gentle nudge will help everyone in the room to be able to manage their attention a lot more effectively. The bottom line really is that for us all to thrive or at least try to thrive as we transition to being back in the office at least part of the time was to go into it having really clear expectations. It's going to be weird. It's going to be uncomfortable. Embrace the weird and above all, be patient with yourself. The great news is brains are amazing. you're going to get used to it, to be patient and give yourself that time to adjust.

7:25Thanks so much for watching. And if you have more questions about how you and your colleagues can adjust a little more effectively to this new normal, please leave them in the comments and I'll try to address them in future videos.