Office Gossip: Advantages and Pitfalls | The Harvard Business Review Guide

0:28This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. What's the first thing that comes to mind when I say workplace gossip?

1:02Do alarm bells go off in your mind? Danger, danger, avoid at all costs. Do you feel intrigued? Ooh, what's the latest juicy rumor? Maybe a bit of both? Hmm, I'm tempted, but I know I shouldn't. Guess what? You're not alone. Many people feel conflicted about the role of gossip in the workplace. The truth is that everyone participates in some form of workplace gossip. Whether it's positive, neutral, or negative, it can be a natural way to connect with others, learn about ourselves, glean important information, and process what's going on around us. And here's the reality. Not all gossip is created equal.

1:47Some forms of gossip are actually beneficial to a healthy workplace, while others can be very harmful to people, teams, and organizations. In this video, I'm going to de-stigmatize the good kind of gossip and give you some rules of thumb to help you figure out when it's okay and not okay to gossip at work.

2:13Let's start with a definition. Put simply, gossip is informal talk about someone when that person is not present. For example, let's say Kai and Jessie are talking about Adrian, who's not in the room. It's easy to assume that it's a bad idea for them to engage in gossip because their words could hurt Adrian's feelings, or worse, damage Adrian's reputation and future success at work. And that is something they should avoid. We'll come back to that in a moment. But first, let's explore the ways in which their gossip could be a good thing. Gossip as general information. What if we use the word information instead of gossip?

2:59That changes how we see it, right? Here are some scenarios where general information-gathering gossip is beneficial. Maybe Kai and Jesse are trying to figure out how Adrian's group landed a big contract because they can't get any answers from top leadership about it. Or perhaps Kai's intention was trying to interpret a strangely worded email from Adrian. It could be helpful to get Jesse's impression before responding to Adrian. Or perhaps Jesse knows it's crucial to get Adrian's support in order to move a stalled project forward. And Kai might have some insight or advice on how to do that. These are all situations where Kai and Jesse are gossiping to gather information that will help process what's going on around them.

3:47This probably isn't what you immediately think of when you hear the word gossip. More likely, you think of the chatter that includes reputational information or judgments of a person's abilities or experiences. Gossip as reputational information. I want to point out that this kind of reputational gossip can be positive. Jesse could be praising Adrian to Kai, pointing out that they've done excellent work or provided extra help on a project. This positive gossip is good information to share. Fun fact, research has shown that positive gossip is actually more common than negative gossip. Or perhaps Kai is Adrian's manager.

4:32Yes, managers gossip too. And it's helpful to know from Jesse that some employees are having issues working with Adrian. In the role of manager, Kai could then use this reputational information as diagnostic feedback to help Adrian work better with their colleagues. It's important to note that while negative gossip can undermine an organization's ability to function. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks.

5:12Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18+. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners. Sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together.

5:49Shop now at palmolive.com. It can also serve as a valuable red flag about larger organizational issues. If you're a manager, my advice is this. Don't try to ban gossip. It's more constructive to address the problems that are generating the negative talk in the first place. Another benefit to gossip is this. It can help co-workers form connections and establish workplace norms. Let's say Kai and Jesse were engaging in some negative gossip, like commiserating about Adrian's passive-aggressive communication style. Even if their talk isn't particularly kind, the two colleagues are forming their own personal bond, learning that they can trust each other to vent their feelings and share honest opinions.

6:38This social and emotional support can make Kai and Jesse feel more connected to each other and to the organization as a whole. They may experience reduced workplace anxiety and also get to enjoy the natural adrenaline and dopamine rush that happens to all of us when we get confirmation that we are right about something. And when Max from accounting joins the conversation and agrees, they start to form a larger in-group with a shared opinion about Adrian. I know, while this in-group may sound like a middle school clique out of which nothing good can come, it can actually accomplish something beyond group bonding.

7:21Research has shown that it can actually deter Kai, Jesse, and Max from behaving like Adrian, in part because they know they might be ostracized or indirectly punished if they do. Their behavior is improved and likely rewarded, and this can spread, prompting others to follow suit. In other words, gossip can establish and reinforce norms about what is acceptable behavior in a workplace. You can see how even managers might approve of this kind of gossip, because it can reinforce company values, disincentivize poor behavior, and encourage all employees to do their best work. But, and this is important, talking behind a co-worker's back, even if it has benefits for others, does have drawbacks.

8:13And we don't want to forget the potential consequences to Adrian's reputation and possibly their well-being. So let's talk about the pitfalls. Of course, gossip isn't always a good thing, and it comes with risks beyond hurt feelings and tarnished reputations. Gossip can decrease productivity by taking up valuable time, yours and that of the people around you. This time suck isn't just about the minutes or hours that you spend talking instead of working. It's also about the time that it takes people to figure out whether the gossip is helpful or real, which leads to another pitfall. Gossip can spread misinformation, which can generate fear and cause a lot of damage.

8:59Gossip can also make people susceptible to what's known as confirmation bias. While Kai feels good when Jesse agrees that Adrian is passive-aggressive, their commiseration makes it more likely for Kai to see everything Adrian does through that lens. Even if Adrian only occasionally behaves poorly, the Adrian is passive-aggressive narrative becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, and it becomes harder and harder for Kai, Jesse, Max, and everyone else to see Adrian's behavior as anything other than passive-aggressive. Also, and this is critical to remember, gossip often reflects poorly on the gossiper.

9:43If Jesse relentlessly criticizes Adrian to Kai, Jesse runs the risk of being seen as untrustworthy. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome.

10:25You think you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for it ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus i might wonder is jesse criticizing me behind my back too This erosion of trust can snowball into hurt feelings, lower morale, damaged reputations, divisiveness, and staff attrition.

11:03It's not just Kai and Jesse's relationship that suffers, but the team or organizational culture can suffer as well. Not good. So how do you avoid these pitfalls? Proceed with caution. Some important rules of thumb. Focus on sharing positive or neutral gossip. It's inevitable that we'll occasionally talk about our co-workers when they're not around. When you do, ask yourself, If my co-worker knew what I was saying about them, how would they feel? Next, only share gossip with colleagues you trust. You want to feel confident that they won't reveal what you've said to others, especially those who might see your gossiping in an unfavorable light.

11:47Be careful about where and how you share information. In private, behind closed doors is a better bet than in a public area. And definitely avoid gossiping in writing, like over email or text, which you should always assume can be made public at any time. Author Deborah Grayson-Riegel has some additional strategies. She suggests pivoting to a more constructive line of conversation. If someone comes to you with gossip, resist the temptation to engage in negative talk. Instead, pivot the conversation by asking something like, how can I help you achieve a better outcome? This redirection can ensure you and your colleague are engaging in coaching, brainstorming, or problem solving, not just confirming existing problems.

12:36If you're tempted to gossip, ask yourself, hmm, why do I need confirmation from one person about someone else's behavior? What is my goal in talking about this? If your answer is just to validate your own opinions or feelings, don't drag someone else into the conversation, even if it might feel good. However, if their confirmation provides insight into how you might be contributing to the problem, or gives you ways to brainstorm constructive solutions, or helps you go on record with a formal complaint, then go for it. Create a feedback-rich environment around you. When you normalize giving and receiving direct feedback, both positive and negative, there will be less temptation to gossip.

13:21One way to do this is to let people know you have a policy. If you have a problem with me, please tell me first. If people know you can handle all kinds of feedback with a good attitude and without retaliating, this will not only discourage others from talking about you when you're not around, but encourages them to be open to direct feedback as well. When a colleague is approached with gossip about someone else, you want the norm to be for them to ask, have you already told them? It can also become standard practice to have feedback as part of regular meetings, rather than saving it all for, say, once a year performance reviews.

14:01Of course, if the gossip crosses the line into something that could harm someone's feelings or reputation, you should nip that in the bud. You could say something like, I worry that's hurtful to Adrian, or I don't see why any of us here needs to know that, or even counteract it by mentioning positive experiences you've had with that person. That said, in a workplace where honest feedback is the norm, people will be more likely to solve interpersonal issues constructively.

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