Why Don't I Feel Energized at Work Anymore? | New Here | S1E8

0:01This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required. Compatibility and availability varies 18+. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once.

0:35So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. I'm curious about the idea of feeling motivated in general. Like, is it normal to not feel motivated at work? Is it normal to feel unmotivated at work? I think it's normal to hit patches of feeling unmotivated in life. This is leadership coach Muriel Wilkins. She works with CEOs and other senior leaders, helping them work through the challenges they face.

1:25And motivation is a big part of that. If you look at sort of the root word of motivation, it's motive. And what is motive? Motive is a reason. When we don't feel motivation at work, it's because we don't feel a reason to go to work, do the work, do what's expected of us. And when we feel motivation, there's something that gives us a reason to be able to do that. I think the real question is, what's your reason? Welcome to New Here, honest conversations and practical advice to help you play the game called work. I'm Eleni Mata. This week, we're talking about feeling unmotivated at work. that might show up as procrastinating on that project you were assigned, skipping meetings, or in the most extreme, daydreaming about quitting.

2:24But we can take this as an opportunity because our first few jobs in our career are actually a great time to figure out what motivates us and what doesn't. So you heard our guest Muriel Wilkins define motivation as a reason for our behavior. In this case, a reason for being at work. Muriel has a lot of experience coaching her clients through rough spots when their motivation is faltering. She does that at the executive level but she also understands a lot about why motivation can come and go throughout our careers including at the very beginning. So today we'll talk about where motivation at work comes from, what a lack of it means, and what your relationship with it might look like throughout your career.

3:09Okay here we go.

3:14What can, based on your experience, what can you say are the common reasons that an early career professional could feel demotivated? Yeah, I mean, I think there's a number of reasons. I think one is feeling a lack of competency, right? Feeling like they can't do well enough in the work. So they've, you know, particularly those who did really, really well academically. You know, I remember I did very well academically. And then I remember my first job, I had to like do some type of math. I don't even remember what it was, but it was math. And I was like, oh my God, I remember calling my then boyfriend.

4:00And he was not good at math, by the way, either. And crying because I was like, this is like never going to make it. I'm never going to do well. Like this is awful. I don't know if I can do this. I don't want, and it quickly became from like a math problem to, I don't want to do this. I don't want to go in tomorrow. I'm never going back to that place again. Right. So lack of competency can, can lead that. I did go back and I figured out the math, so it's fine. Um, I think lack of positive affirmation. So not feeling like, you know, whether you're doing well or not. When we're in school, we're used to getting, you know, you get an A, a B, a C or D, you get it every quarter, you know where you stand and then you move on to the next class.

4:43Well, at work doesn't work that way. You might get, if you're lucky, you get consistent feedback. A lot of times you get that once a year review, right? And that's when you're told. Misaligned expectation. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome.

5:17Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments, it's weeknight dinners. Sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. So you were expecting one thing, taking that job.

5:56You thought it was going to be Disney. And then you showed up and it is not right. The people you work with are not Disney-like. The environment is not Disney-like. The work is want, want, you know, and you thought you were going to be saving the world. But what you're doing is crunching numbers in a very dark conference room. That was me. And so your expectations are not being met. Those are things that can happen early career. Yeah, I've had that feeling before of competency. Like when I came back from maternity leave, I didn't realize that I needed to start over because I had just been away from work X amount of months.

6:43So when I came back, it was like a lack of motivation and competency because I just felt like I kept messing up all the time. I also felt like I didn't connect with people as much. Like it was really hard to just talk to people because I had just gone through this whole new experience and I didn't know how to relate to the people around me for that. And I also felt this bigger existential question of like, why am I even doing this? Why am I even in this industry anyway? Like I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I don't get to see my daughter all the time. Like it started small and then it just grew more and more and more into this bigger existential thing of like, oh my God, should I even be here right now?

7:28I mean, I love that you're using the term like existential question because at the root of it, that's what it is, right? I mean, when we think about, you know, the existential question, which is why am I here? At the end of the day, like that's where your motivation comes from. Your motivation is, as the French would say, your raison d 'être, right? Your reason for being. And so if you take that to the workplace is what is your reason for being at work? And what you also articulated around when you came back from mat leave, like feeling lack of connection or not connecting as well, lack of competency, those two are very rooted in fundamental human needs, you know, after your basic survival needs, which is our need to feel connected to others, which really is our need to feel, our need to feel loved, right?

8:17And our need to feel worthy, you know, and how do you feel worthy at work, right? You feel worthy at work because you do the work because you're able to do the work. So when we really think about it, it's that we're looking for these external signals, these external cues to give us our reason for being and fulfill all those, you know, needs that we just talked about, but we don't know how to talk about them in those ways. Instead, we say, oh my God, I can't do a math problem. Therefore, I'm unmotivated versus I'm not feeling really valuable right now in what I'm doing. I'm not feeling very worthy.

8:52OK, like, how can I feel worthy in this situation? What can I do? I I wonder in a work setting, can you give me another example of how to express that to your manager or your boss, somebody that can help develop your career? Like, how do I tell them I don't feel valued at what I'm doing right now? Or can I or can I just say just that? So I think the key is to have agency. The minute you say I don't feel valued, it puts you in a position of having to receive the value affirmation from somebody else. And that's what makes it a temporary situation versus going in and saying, I don't feel like I'm adding value in the way that I would like to.

9:37That meets my expectation. because I think I'm great at putting together these PowerPoint presentations. And I'm, you know, I will admit I'm struggling a little bit with the math part. So this episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together.

10:19Shop now at palmolive.com. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. So, boss, can you spend just like 20 minutes with me to go through this for me? Or is there somebody on the team who can sit with me and go through this?

10:57What can I have to help me raise my level? Because I think I can do it. I just need a little help. right because i want to i want to fully add value according to my expectations and my standards on this team that comes from a place of agency and power rather than i'm gonna wait till your temperature is right so that i can feel valued oh that's it's very hard that's like it's very hard but i'm gonna tell you if you can master that early in your career it will save you a lot of pain and suffering later on because I work with people who are much later in their career who still haven't mastered that and lack of motivation gets compounded right it's like compound interest and at some point you have to decide what can I do about it what's in my control that doesn't absolve the manager, right?

11:57I'm not saying it, you know, but I think focus on what's in your control. So Muriel, you're also a podcast host and I love your burnout episode from your first season. So for folks who haven't listened, check it out. The guest is Ellie and she's a young manager and she thinks she's not good at managing people, but really she's just overworked and burned out. So my question is, what is the difference between burnout and feeling unmotivated? How do you distinguish the two? I think feeling unmotivated can lead to burnout, right? Burnout to me is the end result. You know, I ran a race this past weekend.

12:36Wow, congratulations. Thank you. Burnout is what you saw on mile 13, you know, when people were ending the race, okay? Some were burned out and some were not. Some were energized. The lack of motivation or the motivation is everything that was happening beforehand. So to me, there are a lot of paths to burnout. What might lead to burnout for you might be very different than what might lead to burnout for me. That's why it's really, really important to know yourself, right? And know what capacity you have. this goes back to a point that I said when we were first taping the show about journaling like I think you could track your motivations or like how you're feeling about work just by journaling just like taking like 10 to 15 minutes of your day and just writing stuff down so when you feel unmotivated and I've done this before like when I feel unmotivated or when I feel misaligned to my core, I'll go to my journal and I'll read back and I'll figure out like, okay, when did this start?

13:45And I can tell by my handwriting, I can tell by how I'm describing things of where things began. And I can at least have like an aha moment of, okay, this, it may not like, it can either point exactly to what I'm looking for, or it'll give me some idea of where to sort of dig deeper into figuring that out. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think that's a great practice, right? And like, I think particularly the, am I aligned or am I not aligned? And is that what's leading to the motivation versus lack of motivation? I think it's, yes, when you feel aligned, you feel motivated. When you don't feel aligned, you feel unmotivated.

14:22But the question is aligned to what, you know? And fundamentally it's, it goes back to that word reason. I have to be aligned to the reason why I'm going to work, the reason I'm doing this project. And that's going to change. That's going to be different with no judgment for everybody. Not everyone needs to have the same motivation. So part of the work in feeling motivated is finding the reason. This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra.

15:02Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense?

15:38There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. And that reason can change. I mean, I remember when I became a new mom and I was in a particular workplace at that time that I was feeling quite unmotivated before I became a new mom. After I came back, I was like, huh, this place actually allows me, even though I wasn't feeling motivated before, because the work was kind of getting, you know, there were a bunch of things going on that was draining me. But then I realized, oh, like, it allows me to actually be able to work pretty decent hours.

16:19You know, I'm able to spend I'm able to actually create value when I think about it and at the same time Have the presence at home that I want at this time That was reason enough for me to hang on for a particular amount of time Until that reason was not important as important for me anymore and then I had to say okay What's my new reason and can that reason be validated here? So it is a dynamic thing and it doesn't always have to be oh my reason is i'm going to save the world that's great and those who have it god bless them but sometimes it's you know i mean quite frankly especially early career i gotta pay my student loans yeah and guess what yeah sometimes that's what you have to do when i first started my business i took projects on that quite frankly were grunt work even though i had had an amazing career up until then but guess what i just started my business and i had to pay the mortgage right and that was my reason every day i'd be like okay okay, Muriel.

17:17Okay. And I was like, and I'm learning and I'm learning and I'm learning. Let me be grateful. I have a client and it's paying the mortgage. Let me be grateful. And let me also have an eye to what I want moving forward. So it's not being complacent. It's being present to the reality of what it is. Knowing what your reason is, you don't owe anyone an explanation for what that reason is. As long as you're aligned with it, that's all that matters. coming up after the break i'll share with muriel some of your motivation questions like what to do if someone is taking credit for your work or you worked really hard to get a grad degree only to be in an underpaid job be right back

18:09i have listener questions to throw at you let's go this is from lara and it's quite long so bear with me so i am british and went to brazil for my studies during my undergraduate law degree i was able to do two internships. After that, I went straight to my LLM and passed the Brazilian bar exam. In the same month that I finished my master's degree, I got a job in my field. However, this job only pays minimum wage and after six months, I'm still earning the same salary. I am feeling very unmotivated as I have studied so hard and so long only to earn a minimum wage. any advice. I felt that way. I didn't study law, but I felt that way after graduating.

18:57What did you feel? So after I graduated, I got a job at the local YMCA and I felt unmotivated. I was really mean to myself because I thought like I spent all this time in college. I actually took an extra year to get my master's. And the first job that I have is not in my degree. And I'm just working as like an after school counselor getting paid minimum wage I felt like a failure because I didn't one achieve an expectation that my family and I think the university also set of like you're going to get a job after graduation within your degree that's why you studied this whole thing but also in myself like I thought I could do better I actually think if I could you know this episode is brought to you by google chrome you think you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for it ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability Various 18+.

20:11This episode is brought to you by Palmolive. Family time isn't just the big moments. It's weeknight dinners, sitting around the table, everyone talking all at once. So when the plates are empty and the sink is full, use Palmolive Ultra. Palmolive's most powerful formula removes up to 99.9 % of grease, leaving your dishes sparkling clean. And the new convenient pump makes cleaning even easier, so you can spend less time tackling dishes and more time together. Shop now at palmolive.com. You almost have to recondition what you were promised, falsely promised from childhood, which is if you do X, Y, Z, this is what's going to happen, right?

20:53I always feel like I am just crushing people's dreams when I say this, but it's like the reality of it is that's not how life works and work is a reflection of life okay life does not work in the if i do abc then this is what happens right that's called magical thinking that's the world of fairy tales i would say that doesn't mean you should throw everything away and say it wasn't worth it, but you were holding on to that outcome and that expectation so tightly that what's causing you the most pain and demotivation right now is that you are refusing to realize that this is what it is right now.

21:43You're still holding on to what it should have been. So the first is to just say, I get it. This is not it. And if you have to like be sad about it for a little bit and frustrated, do it. And then start to say, okay, I'm here. How do I make the best of it? What can I do? What is my reason? What purpose can I find in what's happening right now? What is it doing for me? So for example, trying to extract as much learning as you can and growth as you can in the situation that you're in while not giving up. I like that. Be realistic about where you are and optimistic about where you're going to be.

22:25Because guess what? It's not permanent. Yeah. Nothing is permanent. Yeah. So, Laura, you're going to be okay. Name a reason why you are where you are right now. Just hold on to it. I don't care what that reason is, but be grateful for that reason. Okay? If there's no reason, then I'd rather you move to another minimum wage job, if that's what it is, where you can find a reason there. Secondly, recognize that this is not permanent. If what they're saying is you don't have experience, then try to see, are there other ways that you can get some experience? You're not going to stay experienced forever.

22:58And then lastly, you'll know when it's time to make a pivot. And when it's time to make a pivot, you'll make it. I have one more question, and it's from Liam. He said, we have had consultants brought in, and I feel like they're taking credit for my work, which is really demotivating. What can I do to improve things? I mean, you know, there's so much context here that I would want to understand a little bit better around how it's happening. How are they taking the credit for your work? But I would say, what steps are you taking to take credit for your work? What are you doing? It's not that I'm absolving anyone else from what's happening, but I can't control everybody else, you know?

23:41And so I would say, Liam, who are the people that matter? who needs to know about the work that you're doing and what are you doing to share what it is that you've done. And it's not just what I did. Here's the impact that I'm having. Here are the results that I'm getting to because that's where the juice is, right? Okay. So some folks are starting in their career and they've only ever worked remote. Do you feel that remote work affects people's motivation, especially for people early in their career or just younger? I think it depends. How much does frequent, consistent interaction energize you?

24:26I probably get more re-energized spending time with myself than with others, right? That doesn't mean I don't want to be with others, but I could be like, I probably need about like 60, 70 % with myself and then 30%. Breathe in. Now let it all out with Lincoln Rejuvenate, a multisensory feature available in the 2027 Navigator SUV. Experience a gentle massage, expansive visuals, and digital sense to help you relax in the driver's seat. It's your time for a reset. Visit Lincoln.com to learn more. Lincoln Rejuvenate does not operate unless the vehicle is in park, when the vehicle is off, or if any door is open.

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25:40...with others. Whereas there are some who it's like, I get all of my energy and most of my energy off of others and being with others, and therefore the ratio splits. So the remote piece, it's really not about remote. It's about what energizes you. the more you know yourself not your conditioned self not the learned behavior right that's important but who you are right like who you were back in the day before school and everything else taught you the more you can align work with that the better and so this is where it gets really tricky right because in the workplace at least in like the corporate workplace it is often rewarded to move up the chain, to have teams, to, you know, take on bigger and bigger and bigger roles and to be out there and connecting and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

26:33But if that's not what aligns with you, the misalignment happens later in life. So the key is trying to find a profession that can align as much as possible with who you are, while still giving you the opportunities to enable whatever it is that you want for your life. So I consider myself extremely lucky because somehow I figured this out along the way. But I ended up in a profession where, man, I feel like I'm having impact in the way that I want to have it. I get to work primarily with people one-on-one. Great. You know, totally aligned with like my energy, right? But most people aren't willing to do that because they don't want to trade off the big job, the big promotion, the this, the this, the this, of that, but then they're not feeling motivated because it's not aligned with who they are.

27:27And again, no right or wrong, just know why you're doing it. If that's what you want, great, but understand eyes wide open what it might lead to. So a few listener questions moved us to like talking about what to do if you're feeling unmotivated at work. And we talked about it in the beginning of like, how do we talk about the like or how do we express this to our boss or our manager who at work ideally would be the best people to talk to about our demotivation is it all solely our manager our boss like that's who that 100 that's who we should talk to or is there anybody else that we need to also have this conversation with i mean look i think the boss piece i'm just gonna keep it real like i think it depends.

28:12Okay. Keep it real. Like, I think it depends. If you know your boss is the type who's going to flip out at even the smallest notion that you're feeling unmotivated and doesn't know how to deal with it or takes it personally or catastrophizes and says, oh my God, if you're feeling unmotivated about this math problem, it means you're not meant to be here. That's not who you communicate it to. So you have to try to kind of read the room, right? This is the whole managing up, like know your boss, study your boss, study your boss, okay? They are human. Do they have the ability, the capacity to hold that conversation?

28:57If your boss has taken a vested interest in your development, in how you feel, in your engagement, then you know that it's probably a warmer conversation to have. So what do you do? Who are your supporters at work? Do you have a mentor? I think a mentor is a great place to start because they might have some separation from it and yet still understand. And if you don't have a mentor in your early career, that is one of the very first things that you should be doing is trying to find some mentors. And that's somebody you can go to. Somebody who might be a little bit more senior than you, who maybe has been at the Oregon is still early career, but maybe has been there two or three years.