You Need Tough Feedback—Here’s How to Get It | Christine vs. Work

0:01This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome? That's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. hey Chicago class it up with Crocs you know back to school is coming in fast so why wait to find your new fave footwear step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look try it style it make it yours because the right pair doesn't just show up it shows off first day fits handled Walk out ready for whatever's next.

0:52Visit your nearest croc store today. I like to think that I'm so, so self-aware and so, so proactive and I'll make all the changes I need to make, but I'm not that person. I need feedback. I need something to tell me that I need to change and then I'll react. When I ask for feedback, it tends to be really, really casual. So I've been making these YouTube videos. What do you think? I know that's not the best way to ask for feedback, but that's usually how it ends up coming out. And then the response is something like...

1:25Stuff like this... is not helpful. I want you to give me the truth. That said, it does make me a little anxious. Like, what if it's feedback I didn't expect? What if it's something that really hurts?

1:45I want to learn three key things here. How do I ask for quality feedback? How do I react to the feedback, especially if it's painful? And ultimately, how do I put it into action?

2:07Before we get started, this episode is brought to you by Microsoft. Microsoft's mission is to empower every person and organization on the planet to achieve more. But it's nothing without the people behind it. Watch and read some of the stories of the people behind the mission at MicrosoftLife.com. Hearing something that's not so great. It does stink. And you could even say, I just need some time to reflect on this. And that gives you the time and space. You may need to go and vent with a friend and that's fine too. We're only human. That's Octavia Gorodima. She's a career coach and she's the founder of 2010 Agency based in Los Angeles, California.

2:43They focus on career advancement and accelerating diversity at big companies. She helps people improve on workplace skills, especially ones that are super foundational, like feedback. From a tactical perspective, how do I ask for feedback? So the first thing is don't be afraid to ask for feedback. Asking for feedback is great because it shows that you are proactive and you're accountable. So don't be afraid to use your voice. but the first thing to do is to perhaps when you've assessed what your needs are is to think about timing and when you know your needs you'll be able to know when you need to ask for the feedback because you don't want to be asking your manager for feedback when they're rushing to work on another project or they're distracted you want to make sure your the timing is right and then also where possible try and have a conversation if you're dropping a question in Slack or in email, you might not get the same response that you'll get if you're actually having a dialogue.

3:44Let's say I get positive feedback. What's the right way to respond to that? Sometimes, depending on your personality, receiving positive feedback can feel a little awkward. And the one thing I always say is don't diminish what that person is saying to you. Don't say, oh, it was nothing. And of course, if other people are involved, acknowledge other people as well. but say thank you accept it and keep it I always recommend keep that feedback if it was something given to you in a meeting or verbally like jot it down somewhere safe and if it's an email or a message you know file it away and keep it in one place because the time will come where you might want to go back and reflect on that or when you're preparing for a performance with you I always thought it was kind of creepy to keep things like that but no no no no no keep them keep them because we forget so when i get feedback that i wasn't expecting my heart starts racing i can feel the blood throbbing in my ears what if it's something that affects me deeply it can be common to feel defense.

4:56This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. hey Chicago class it up with Crocs you know back to school is coming in fast so why wait to find your new fave footwear step into a local croc store and step into your new look try it style it make it yours because the right pair doesn't just show up it shows off first day fits handled walk out ready for whatever's next visit your nearest croc store today when that happens that can be a human reaction but do your best to try and curb that by listening thanking the person for the feedback and you could even say i just need some time to reflect on this and that gives you the time and space you may need to go and vent with a friend and that's fine too we're only human and then the thing to remember is it's not what you did or didn't do it's actually what you do next.

6:17You can turn a bad situation into something great if you take action. Once you've reflected, want to go back to the person and thank them for the feedback and say, here are some of the things I'm looking to do to address this. Is there anything else that you would recommend? What if you receive feedback and you disagree with it? I think being open and objective really matters. Listening and reflecting matters, but then considering where that feedback is coming from. Octavia says that the relationship with your manager is key. If you disagree with the feedback, it's possible you don't quite see eye to eye with your boss and you might disagree on fundamental stuff like your role or your responsibilities.

6:59If that's true, it's probably time to have a conversation about that. Oh my goodness, our roles can change so fast and demands can change so fast and you might be operating in a certain way and all of a sudden expectations have shifted and that might not have been communicated clearly. What do you do if you are really open and you're listening but the other party is like oh you're doing a great job like there are no problems there's really not a lot of substance is there something you can ask or are there magic words that kick in that next gear? It comes back to your needs though Christine. So if you need the feedback for validation, that's one thing.

7:40If you need that feedback so that you can grow into another role, that's different. And so you might need to provide the context of that person as to why you're asking for the feedback so that they understand. Okay, I feel ready for accepting feedback, good or bad. And also I have some techniques up my sleeve to extract more usable feedback than the ordinary. Great job. Just know that yes, feedback matters, but good and bad feedback are building blocks to help you do your best work. Practice time. So if I'm looking for feedback for this show, Christine versus work, I think that I have two main needs.

8:22So one, I wanna improve the show. And then two, like I personally wanna develop my hosting skills. I want to get way more comfortable and more effective. We're going to have a meeting on the schedule. It's not going to be like a casual slack. I want it to be, you know, a time that we can have, prepare for it. Okay, so let's say I get great feedback. I should not throw it under the rug. Take it. Take the compliment. Do not say, oh yeah, that was nothing. Let's say I get feedback that kind of surprises me or kind of hits a little close to home. So take a deep breath, acknowledge, thank them for the feedback.

9:02Thank you. I really appreciate that feedback. I might need some time to reflect on it. So buying time. Do not, do not look upset or disappointed or angry or defensive. Okay. You set up a follow-up meeting and you can say, hey, thank you so much. I really appreciate that feedback. It gave me a lot to think about. So I put together a plan and maybe some actions that I could take to address those issues that you raised. Practice is good. It's good to say those words out loud and everything's going to be OK. It's not going to be the end of the world, even though it might feel that way. I think. Are we ready?

9:43Am I ready? Let's do this. I wanted to sit down with you because. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18+. Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast.

10:24So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local croc store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest croc store today. Because I would really appreciate your feedback as the editor of Ascend for Christine versus work. I'm looking for feedback from you, particularly because I appreciate your point of view and sensibility on this type of content. But for me, I want the show itself to be awesome. And also I just want to make sure that I'm representing and being the best host that I can be.

11:14So I always want to improve. I don't want to pretend that I'm, I have nowhere to grow. So I'm always looking for suggestions or ways that I can be a better host to this show. Thank you for asking. I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to my feedback. And I mean, to be honest, I've been looking through your episodes and I am finding it hard to like find a lot of like critique to say like any, I mean, quote unquote negative feedback. It's been really, I'm like, I don't want to pull out strings and just give it to you when And I don't, if I don't see it, I think that you're just doing an awesome job as a host.

11:53I think like you're really kind of opening the doors for like what HBR can be on YouTube, like through the Ascend brand. Yeah, no, I, I, I totally understand what you're saying. And I really appreciate that feedback. It sounds like it's mostly positive. Do you have just like, uh, like, I guess the least favorite parts of the shows? I think when it's just the interviews, it's helpful to hear the advice. but if I don't like see the advice put into action I am usually like less engaged in the episode. Do you have any ideas or suggestions on how I as the host could make the interview you know level up a little bit or?

12:32Like as a viewer there's a lot of times when you want to know but like oh but that's really good advice but what about this situation or this situation I find myself in and sort of considering like the most difficult scenarios that you might be able to bring up with people to really like challenge them. Anything else you want to add? You know, while there is always room to improve, I think that you you're just really killing it. And so I just hope you like walk away feeling really good about that. I have my two bits of feedback, usable feedback from Paige. Thank you so much. The most important thing is that I work on it.

13:06I show that I am trying to improve it and then display, hey, like these are the things I did. And this is a market improvement from when we talked about this. I'm hearing Octavia's voice in my head where it's like, it's not what the feedback is. It should be what you do next. Speaking of feedback, I really value yours. So what do you think, your viewer, about the show? What do you think about me as the host? What do you think about all these things? I read every single comment you guys leave. So please be honest. You can tell me anything. I accept it and I will work on it. So go for it. if you're still watching.

13:45One, thank you. But two, I'm really curious. Like, what do you want me to explore? Like, what problems do you have at work? I'd love to solve them. Please leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts. And if you have any other ideas, throw them my way. All right. Peace out. Fall is the perfect time to refresh and reorganize your space. At the Home Depot, find power tools and tool sets starting at$50 to help tackle DIY projects, home updates, and more. Whether you're drilling brackets to support new shelving or sharpening your hedge trimmer blade with an angle grinder, The Home Depot has the tools you need to check projects off your list.

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