Beating The Beatles To A BAFTA

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1:17Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's upwork.com upwork.com Ramsey's on my list of people that I'd love to have a pint with. Interesting. You've got a little list. Maybe we can talk about that next episode. A list? Who have I got a list? I've got a little list of people who I'd be like well up for a pint with. I think Ramsey would be a good... All my people I feel like they're all too maybe this is irrelevant but I think they're too busy to do it. yeah I don't think Ramsey's going to go for a pint with me I think he might do I hope Ramsey can go for a pint with you no but the thing is I reckon well yeah like you say like so that comes into my bring him up and go Oi Ramsey let's have a in pint but that comes and then he'll do it that comes into my sort of the rules that I have for people that I'd like to go for a pint with yeah I think he'd be up for a pint of course Ramsey's the type of guy I think he'd have a pint and then he'd fucking do a 20 mile bike ride or something like that.

2:26Do you know what I mean? He just seems like a geezer. I mean, Gervais, it feels like he'd both be up for a pint and... I don't know. I feel like Gervais now... Is he a bit less of a... I think he's, you know, he's in his 60s, isn't he? I suppose he is, yeah. So I think he might be a bit more health conscious nowadays. Yeah, maybe. If we're talking back in the XFM days... That's really what I'm going for. Like, you know, that's the Gervais you want to go for a pint with. that's the like yeah this is good and pilco's gotta be there as well that'd be so there's oftentimes where he just sounds there's things on that show where he just sounds drunk on the show or he's just eating yeah no there's a lot of stuff and then we just and then merchant has to go sorry he literally goes answers on a postcard or whatever you think Ricky Gervais said just like who would you who would you really want to go for a pint with Dave Grohl was another one for me that'd be fascinating again one because I think he'd be a laugh and be a good be a good chap to have a pint with but two also you can get into all the interesting stuff you can ask him about Nirvana and and you know who would I like to go for what was that like being in Nirvana that's why I'd never be able to meet these people I couldn't meet Paul McCartney because I'd be like I mean I met Ringo Starr did you?

3:56yeah I met Ringo Starr and it literally was I basically went out to him and went what was that like? like without so many words I don't know really yeah what what could you he that seems like it almost belongs to another he was in a film that I was doing Was he? Yeah. And I wasn't in that day. And the director told me, he was like, oh, by the way, we managed to get Ringo Starr to come in and do a cameo. I was like, what day is it? He was like, oh, it's this day. I was like, oh, fucking hell, I'm not in that day. Or I might have been in later or something like that. And I was like, I'm turning up.

4:40Yeah. I'm turning up. I'm just going to sit around and watch Ringo Starr do whatever he is. He does. and this was while this was in california and um i think the director because obviously my kids are called harrison and jude and i think it was i think just wherever i go it just becomes a fact known thing that buckley likes the beatles right yeah uh i must bang on about something but i think he went up to rengo so i was like oh james is here and he's british i think that's all he said right because um at one point and i'd never i i just wanted to be in the same room as him i didn't i didn't approach him or anything like that and uh at one point it was like right let's take five let's have a five minute break and then we'll get back into it and then he just walked up to me and just went how's it going brother haha i went quite it was good thank you ringo star really good and then i was just sort of um mr star and then uh i said i'll listen them And I was like, my kids' names are Harrison and Jude.

5:41Like, I'm such a huge fan. And he was just well up for chatting about it. And it was just, and I do, it's not the same extent, obviously. I'm not going to compare the Inbetweeners to the Beatles by any measure at all. How many, did they do just, did they do one film? Or did they, how many films did they do? I think they did five. They did even do more films. Yeah, I think they did about five of them. but did they do how many episodes did they no TV they didn't do any TV stuff no TV at all but I don't mind people's BAFTA no it wasn't a proper one we don't I don't mind talking to the you know when you must have had this when you're doing say you've got a new film coming out and you're doing a bit of press.

6:34So you're going, doing a bit of radio or something like that. You go to Global or whatever and you do like the breakfast shows and they always go, do you mind if I maybe talk about it, like ask you about the in-betweeners or something? Yeah, they do. They always say that. And I always go, yeah, of course. I'm always like, what the hell the fuck else have I got to talk about? Yeah. I don't know. If you don't bring it up, I'm going to fucking bring it up. I know. I want to say, well, I think we better because what else do you want to talk about? Like I can't, I want nothing else. To contribute. I think people are like, and there have been actors in the past who are like, please, I don't want to talk about that.

7:06I always just find that really obvious when people are trying to kind of segue round. But... It just draws more attention to it. But I was a bit like, fucking, the last thing this guy wants to talk about is the Beatles probably. But he absolutely loved it. And he summed it up to me. And it's the same way I feel about the Inbetweeners in a way. Obviously not as much, but the Inbetweeners was such a great time in my life, which is why I don't mind talking about it. And I'm still proud of it. I still think it's really funny. But he said to me, because I was like, oh God, I bet, I'm sorry. I was like, there was a bit where I was like, I bet you don't want to talk about the Beatles, do you?

7:45Like, I imagine it's a bit annoying. I couldn't, because I didn't want to go, I didn't want to go, because, you know, people also want to talk to me about one thing also. And he was just like, listen, I was in my 20s. I was in the biggest band in the world. I traveled the world. Girls absolutely loved me. It was fucking amazing. It was absolutely amazing. And he was just like, I don't mind talking about it. I don't mind talking about it at all whatsoever. I was just asking him loads of questions, loads of stuff about. That's amazing. Just, you know, when you were recording this and I've heard Liz Ruman, and he was like, no, that's not true.

8:25Pretty much everything wasn't true. Everything was like law. Well, as we've established on this podcast, many of these things turn out not to be true. But it was interesting enough to be fact, Joe. What exactly? Maybe we should do some Ringo Starr. Which does bring me around to this podcast, which is called Joe and James Fact Up. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James. Fact up again. Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Facts Up!

9:21034 330. And you can also follow us on socials. Our handle. Did the kids say handle still? Is that all right? Do they say like 6 '7"? They do. I don't know what it means. Our socials are at joeandjamespod. And you can DM us on that. And you can watch all our episodes full on YouTube. Just search for joeandjamesfactsup. Now, let's get fact up.

9:57I have such a bad memory of, with this podcast and with the podcast I do with Claire, remembering what the fuck I spoke about. I just talk so much shit. But we talk so much. It's just a stream of consciousness and I just talk absolute nonsense. and I also forget that people end up listening to this there was a whole thing I did sorry there was a whole thing I did with Claire where I did a rant about Andrew Flintoff's nickname who by the way is a hero of mine like fucking when was it 2000 2005 2005 2006 that Ashes series victory was 2005 him Kevin Peterson yeah fuck it it was absolutely amazing me and my mates were playing cricket in our little terrace houses I was playing cricket back gardens I was playing cricket we had to come up with rules because they were like they were like this about the boundary what's the boundary well we were we had to we had to do a thing where if it if it went forward enough and went past this mark then that was counted as two runs okay because it would just hit off the fence there was no way that anyone was going to get but if it went like a bit wide or whatever that's no run like that's that's just that's just safety you're encouraging playing kind of more cultured shots yeah but Andrew Flunner I love him absolutely love he's another one he'd be on my list he'd be on my list to go for a beer with again don't know if he'd go for a beer these days because he's all sort of like health conscious but back in the day I mean he's a proper bloke isn't he I mean he fucking he survived that crash that would have killed nine men out of ten and he's just and he's still knocking about because beef he will go he's that's what i think he was yeah yes i've hit the old copper yes i've enjoyed the old doody yeah but yeah he's a legend he's a fucking legend and i don't care what you got presumably the only problem is from fred flint that's it but the only problem i had with that nickname was i felt it was too much of a reach because one he's not called freddy flintstone No.

12:13He's called Fred Flintstone. Yeah. And apart from Flint, that nickname doesn't go very far. Yeah, there's really very little. I wasn't having a go at Andrew. I wouldn't. I wouldn't fucking. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I've got a feeling I might not. I don't fancy my chances against Andrew Flint. No. He's literally the fucking Terminator these days. You can't kill the geyser. He's as tough as nails. And he's brilliant. And he's amazing. um but but yeah i agree that it's a bit of a reach that so i i was whinging about this nickname saying how it annoys me how it's such a reach that got clipped up and we put it on the social and then he commented saying you can call me wherever you like right and i was like oh i forgot that like i just talk shit i just talk nonsense when i do like it would be hard to remember everything that we talk about because we do do quite a lot i can't remember anything no I instantly forget it as soon as we as soon as we leave this room well I don't really remember what I've said over the course of a day and really this is just what I would be saying if I wasn't in here yeah that's fair enough and you know it's like my point about you know RAM versus ROM sure I forgot you'd said that yeah yeah it goes into a hard drive the hard drive's put on the shelf or something and then if people want to know what it's in there you're like well I'll have a look I can't remember what was in a Word document I made well this is my point everything's being documented right now everything that I'm saying right now has been documented.

13:40If I need to remember it, I'll listen to the podcast. It's not really your job to remember it. It's the job of the... It is when we start doing callbacks and we start talking about WhatsApp mishaps. I don't think we should do any more callbacks. I don't think we should even repeat words. Also, I don't like reading the word mishaps. I saw that as it looks like mashups or something. Yeah. It doesn't work for my brain. And now I'm starting to say like WhatsApp. WhatsApp mishaps. Mishaps. Anyway, willish and... That's confusing to us. So can we have a look at... I don't know what we're supposed to do.

14:08Willish and Shitehawk via the WhatsApp I believe have left us a voice note is that right? That's right Hello there JT and JB It's Willish here with his got my mate Shitehawk here with me That really is their names Having a chat so this is it's a bit more of a question well it's not a fact at all it's a question would you rather be hitting the in the testicles little bosh on the plums twice every day but you know when it's going to be roughly you've got a time as a schedule or punched only once but you don't know when it's going to be could be stressful hear your thoughts what good question thank you very much they haven't sort of gone massive with it have they it's all quite restrained Listen, that's a You get fucking That's a whole evening down the pub Willish and Shitehawk Thank you very much Could have helped us out Like we got If you do want to get back in touch Where Shitehawk has come from I'd be interested to know Shitehawk is really good And Willish in a way But Is it that he's a little bit like Will?

15:31A Will? Will from Inbetweeners Willish Does he look a bit like Will? will it? No I think that's a second name I think they've gone root one with that one Shitehawk would be a second name No Shitehawk's not a name Shitehawk's not a name is it? Shitehawk's got a story behind it and I want to know what it is and I'll be honest with you Who's been kicked out of the RAF? Shitehawk Why? You don't want to know The more rubbish it is the more entertaining I'd find that I do like it That's an easy one for me Once not knowing I don't want to know when I'm going to get kicked in the bollocks here's a little fact for you I think it was hit or punched in the bollocks here's a little fact for you it wasn't until the 1970s that the NHL made it a rule that you have to wear a helmet hockey's incredibly dangerous it's so dangerous I was watching some today on the Winter Olympics I was watching Canada last year.

16:33There's not enough bloody room. Like, you're like, there's no, the pitch looks like... There's only five outfield players that are outfield. I'm always, like, talking... I'm always amazed that they're able to get in any space at all. It just looks like... It's frantic, yeah. It's like, it's, you don't get any, it's quick. It's a really quick game. You don't get any time to think. You've got to just, it is just, someone's on you straight away. Yeah. But it's incredibly dangerous. There's literally blades. everyone has a couple of blades on them. It's so dangerous. Every single player. I mean, they're constantly, like, bashing into each other.

17:08Yeah, yeah. And that's the least dangerous part about it. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, yeah. Please. That's just, that happens a hundred times per period. Please hit me with your shoulder, rather than with the bottom of your foot that's got a fucking guillotine on it. But it wasn't until, like, I think it was the late 70s that they brought, the NHL were like, might have everyone wear a helmet, actually, just to protect the old coconut there. The old The Bonts. Yeah. However, I think it was the 20s where they brought in a cup. Oh, man. And I think that's all you need to know about men, right? Oh, I see.

17:51Yeah. We'd rather get hit in the head. Yeah. We'd rather have blunt force trauma to the skull, to the cranium, than get a swift kick to the bollocks. Listen, I don't want to be punched in the bollocks twice And I sort of don't want to know when it's coming If I am going to be punched in the bollocks So one when I don't know when it's happening What do we get for that though? Do we get something? What do you mean do you get something? Why are we getting punched in the bollocks? Isn't there some sort of reward? I think it's a this or that It's just what would you want Like we don't get a million pounds or something You get a million pounds but you either have to have No, you know, you just have to have one or two things.

18:33It's lose-lose. Right. We don't get anything for it. No, I don't think he mentioned that we get anything, but it's just that we have... Well, what we get is that they'll stop asking the question. But if we don't answer, they'll keep asking every day. I'm going for one. Yeah. Because one, I don't want... That sounds perfect to me. if it's a choice between two hits to the nuts and one hit to the nut then I'll go with one and then also if it's a choice between you know when it's going to happen to when you don't know it's going to happen I'd rather don't know yes perhaps the question could be rejigged so it's actually two when you do know or one when you don't because to me going around thinking I might get hit in the balls at any moment I think would ruin my whole day because I'd be constantly...

19:26But the thing is, right, you live your life that way anyway. Well... You could get hit in the balls at any moment. Well, that's very true, but, you know, I don't... Yeah, but for heaven's sake, you know, let's try and keep morale up. Let's don't tell people that. Also, once you've had, like, kids and a dog and stuff like that, like my dog especially. Yeah. constantly like i'll be sat there and he'll want to come and say hello to me yeah and he's fucking poor oh that no they get they go right they go right up just go straight straight in the nuts no and similarly the other day i was i was trying to pick up my daughter to extract her from a squabble or something and she just kicked me in the box it was horrible like it was just like a high stinging pain and and she also once hit me in the head with a plank a swing but effectively a plank of wood right and it was so difficult to not be angry with her i was like it really really hurt it was like the corner of a plank of wood and she just swung it around it hit me like there quite a heavy plank and i was just like oh i just that kind of like almost like you're going to be sick.

20:43I just didn't know what to do.

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23:00right Joe after all our waffle we do need to start talking about some facts is this episode about the Punic Wars or am I just really excited because I love the Punic Wars the Punic Wars are incredible so the Punic Wars what we're talking about is the wars between Rome and Carthage Yes. Yeah. And it was literally, it was literally for all the marbles. Whoever wins this war controls, as far as they're concerned. The world. The world. Right. And it's absolutely amazing. Like there's fucking war elephants and blood oaths. And on both sides, there's the sons seeking vengeance for their fallen fathers and stuff.

23:55It's absolutely amazing. Because you get Hannibal and then his son. Is it Hannibal's son? Who's the one that ends up being Africanus? Well, Scipio Africanus. He defeated. But I think Scipio also had a father called Scipio. Yeah, I think he may well have done. And then Scipio Africanus, I think, is the grandfather or even the father possibly of the Gracchi brothers, which come later. And they're super interesting as well. So these families retain. I mean, I've read almost all of Imperium by Robert Harris and the families do seem to be, not because it's bad, I just didn't finish it for some reason.

24:47I'd read almost all. Did someone slice the last page out? Yeah, like you did on the engineers. Yeah, when my last page was cut out with a scalpel. No, it's very good. I felt like the main story had finished. Anyway, but in that, the big families seem to have a lot of influence. And for all its republicanism, it's also still quite a sort of hereditary society. Yeah. And it still has a lingering on European and even American society. Well, it does, because if you look at, so the word Caesar, I've probably said this before, but like Kaiser means Caesar. Yes. Tsar means Caesar. Shah, I think, the Shah of Iran, the person who was kicked out by the Iranian revolution, one of whose family members is now kind of militating for the people who replaced the Shah to themselves be replaced.

25:57That means Caesar as well, I think. It's almost like this one bloke basically got anyone who wanted to be a king to call themselves him, basically. But it could have been... completely different if it had gone the other way around we could be still feeling those ripples we're still still feeling the effects today um from the punic wars yeah um they were fought between the the roman republic and carthage um from 264 bc to 146 bc so like about 100 years or so they were going on for yeah um the name punic which i i've i actually have i've heard different the information i think i spoke about it before um because the people that ended up from uh in carthage were uh were from phoenicia which was um sort of more middle eastern but they ended up in the in the north of africa there yeah so phoenician or punition yes as the romans would pronounce it but this says um it comes from the latin word panique panicus which means carthaginian which makes more sense to me to be honest okay um but they would the wars were basically it would basically decide who would control the mediterranean world which at that time in that area was pretty much the the whole world um rome didn't have much naval experience they didn't have much at this point they didn't have much experience you know when you think of rome nowadays the roman empire and all that at that point they didn't have much experience in fighting outside of rome even right um they i think what had happened this isn't my facts by the way this is just me no this is i love it i love this i love this the the carthage uh carthage carthaginians carthaginians were great naval explorers really good with their boats and stuff and the romans basically did what they did at area 51 where they found a crashed boat and um and retro reverse engineered reverse engineered it.

28:06And then, and the Romans, I'm going off, but I love the thing it was. But it's funny to think that Rome didn't have a, you know, you would have thought that if you're a Mediterranean power, you would have to have some sort of naval capability baked in. And it seems as though perhaps they did. But Romans were brilliant. Army, brilliant army, bad Navy. Yes. Carthage, really great Navy, not as good army, right? No. So Rome, retro, actively sort of started copying their boats. Yeah. And then they were all, they also were like, listen, we're really good fucking hand to hand and sword to sword and stuff.

28:44Yeah. So they started putting these long planks like on their boats and they would just, they would just storm the Carthaginians boats. And that was how they started to get, started to win naval battles. So they would be on boats, but they would, they would basically be fighting. They'd turn it into, effectively land. They would turn it into land combat on water. That wasn't what I wanted to talk about. No, I love it. That's really, I mean, to think that there is, and also surprising that the people with all the elephants are also the ones using the boats. The elephants. Because you'd have thought of elephants and boats.

29:19That came through the mountains and stuff in the north of Hannibal. He was basically in Spain at the time. and the Italians were like, well, he's definitely going to sail back, maybe go through Sicily or something like that. And Hannibal was like, no, we're going to fucking walk through the Alps. We're just going to go. And everyone was like, you're nuts, mate. He lost an eye going through those Alps. Did he? Yeah, it was nuts. The elephants over the Alps, I think, is one of the great sort of images of history. Yeah. I think that seems just... But I could, with my half-baked, sort of uneducated facts about the Phoenicians.

30:06Well, I mean, I love a half-baked fact. But I do love the Punic Wars so much. Yeah. But the one thing I really want to talk about was just how I was talking about how it still has an effect today. Yeah. Now, you wouldn't have a Senate in America. if Carthage had won those wars. Because obviously the Romans, they weren't Italians. They weren't Italians until quite recently. Very recently. Yeah, really. I mean, 19th century maybe? Yeah, absolutely. Garibaldi. Garibaldi. Yeah, it was. I literally think it was, I think it might, was Italy properly united during the First World War? Might have been.

30:57Italy and Germany both unified really late, I think in the 19th century. And yeah. But just the fact that the Roman Senate. Wouldn't have a Senate. The Roman Senate. The Roman Senate. And that got spread. And it's still, America has a Senate. And I know that's probably not the most interesting fact. No, but I think. If you are listening to this, and I think, I know I've been banging on and probably not making sense because I'm genuinely quite excited about talking about the Punic Wars. Look into the Punic Wars. It's so fucking interesting. It is like Star Wars. It is literally like Star Wars. But all of the, you know, the first three, the next three, then the three after that, because they've all got fucking descendants that swear blood oaves to get revenge and things like that.

31:44And as you say, although it wasn't the world, as far as they were concerned, it was the world. It was the universe. It was their universe. It was like Star Wars, but real. And there are war elephants. like just the fact that like if you were a roman and you'd never seen a fucking elephant before yes and they come in from the mist over the alps and an elephant is if you want to look like an alien it would look like an alien yeah and it is a even even when you have seen elephants before every time you see one you're like that's that is a peculiar looking creature yeah so you know you're always at the zoo i'm always at the zoo i'm constantly at the zoo so even for me i mean I'm at the zoo daily and I can't believe it.

32:27I go up to the zookeepers and I'm like, what's that? What is it again? And they're like, it's an elephant. I can't believe it. Also, I think the word Punic actually might mean, again, because the victors, whoever wins the war gets to write the history and what happens going forward, right? Absolutely. I think or Phoenician or something like that or Punic or Phoenician. I think it means distrustworthy or something even to this day. But yeah, you've got a Senate in America. So if any of you guys are American, I don't think we get many American listeners, but if we are, let us know in the comments.

33:10If it wasn't for the Punic Wars, you wouldn't have a Senate in America. Fact. Yeah. yeah let me stick that there it's it is still like the importance of that kind of whether or not whether or not these institutions were perfect i'm sure they weren't the sense of that type of republic and kind of what it represents is still incredibly i don't think there is a perfect um i I think we're human beings and just by default we're imperfect, but there's doing your best. And you're right, it is exactly the same idea. It's the Senate. And the irony of Caesars and emperors and stuff in Rome and the whole sort of foundation of Rome was that we don't want kings.

34:06We don't want, you know. So there is an irony that eventually there was people. The biggest legacy of it is just this word, this word Caesar. Yeah. But there would be like in times of like war or if there's an emergency or something like that, like one person would be given absolute power. There was a thing called a dictator. Yeah. But the dictator was, it sort of partly meant like emergency caretaker manager. Yeah. It meant just for a bit. It was an emergency. it was like this guy seems to know what he's doing let's all just do what he says the problem is is that what happens is that people get to be dictator and then what they think to themselves is how come i'm allowed to do this stuff and then people say because it's an emergency and then they go what if it was always an emergency yeah well and that's basically so that's every dictatorship is constantly at war well in rome and if they haven't got a real war they make up a war Let's not go to Joe Rogan just yet.

35:07Well, no, no, I'm not. I don't think I think they... I think things that aren't really wars are classed as wars, like the war against immigrants. In the early days of Rome, they would have these people that would be put in charge of keeping watch of Rome and doing the right thing for Rome. Yeah. And then when the time came where the emergency was over, they always relinquished it. See, that is... And what's required there is you need the people who've got that job to not be a dick. Yeah. And that's the problem we've got at the moment. They always went, oh, is it over now? Yeah. Let's go back to normal.

35:45Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one ever then just went, oh, I'm fucking keeping hold of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is similar to, again, to America, George Washington. They constantly were hounding him, going, do you want to... We've got to get you to be president again. He was like, no, no, no, that's not... That's good. That's not what this is about. Deep term or whatever. He did, yeah. He just relinquished power. He was like, and he was super popular. He had, again, like this feels very Roman, even though it wasn't that long ago in human history, but he had the army. He had the military, because he was a military man himself.

36:23And that's usually how people came to power during Rome, is that it would be a general or something like that that would be able to either bribe the Senate or get the Senate on their part, but would also be, I've also got an army here, so do you want to let me be in charge? Yeah. And George Washington said, no, I'm all good. It's not what we thought. We thought that whole big fucking war to not have people, not to have tyranny and not to have people just being controlled. Yeah, in Hamilton, where George III hears that Washington is stepping down, he says, in a song. In a rap. Is that true? Well, I suppose he's almost the one person who doesn't kind of rap or kind of have that style.

37:11I've never seen Hamilton. I'll be honest. And I love musicals. When he hears that George Washington is stepping down, he says, is that true? I wasn't aware. That's a thing that a person could do. And Hamilton is a great musical. And actually, I think almost my entire source of information about the founding of America. Again, also, it's such a fascinating part of history. I love the Revolutionary War. I love the American Civil War. I can't believe the Revolutionary War isn't more taught in Britain. It's a huge blind spot. Well, yeah, because we lost. I know, but it's terrible. You've got to teach what you want.

37:46It's crazy. I was like a proper adult, and I was like, wait a minute, we owned America. It's ridiculous. And also, it's just kind of, you need to know the origins of those traditions that they are kind of. America. Because we speak the same language. We assume that, well, we'll probably know what we're doing anyway. You're like, no, this is a completely different country. America to Britain is like a girlfriend that you sort of didn't try enough with. And it sort of petered out. Yeah. And she was a good girl. She was a nice girl and stuff. But you weren't really that fussed at the time. And you had other stuff going on.

38:21yeah uh and then like a couple of years later she gets really fucking hot and you're like oh no yeah it does it does seem a bit like that the british just kind of went home dropped a bollock on that one they did i mean they probably could have put in a bit more effort yeah yeah but also they didn't know that that fucking that that group of 13 colonies was going to become the most powerful country and at that point and not just that like microwaves and chick-fil-a and stuff and we could have had all that. Yeah, we could have had Elvis. Yeah. Fucking, we fucked that right up. We fucked it a bit, yeah.

38:57We fucked it. But, so hang on, what's the... My, just my fact was, it's a very loose fact, but just how, even though it was like a few hundred years BC, it still has had a ripple effect on Western society, especially, and like you were saying about Shars and stuff like that. But we're still feeling those effects of the Punic Wars in society this day and age. It's absolutely amazing. It's incredible. And I said, I've probably said I've got a load of facts and stuff wrong and muddled up stuff. But look it up yourself. In fact, there's a really good series. If you're like me and you're an idiot and you like being spoon fed, historical facts there's a really great channel on YouTube called Extra History and it's just little stick men cartoons with someone narrating it and they do a whole thing on the Punic Wars also their Justinian and Theodora series really great really fascinating so yeah go and check that out but that's my fact the Punic Wars, still important to this day still has has a little sort of ripple effect on what we do.

40:17And it holds both those traditions of both republicanism and kind of monarchy, in a sense, both are equally strongly represented, you'd argue. So like republicanism on the one hand and kind of Caesar having essentially a dictator are both strongly represented. So whatever political position you were starting from, you could find inspiration. Thanks for that, Joe.

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42:41Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Upwork.com. Hey, listen, now that I've bored, everyone's a death. No, I love that. Even though I find it really, really fascinating and I know everyone's switched off. we should probably do a little fact check quickly this is the part of the show where we read a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of and then we're going to have a good little thing during the break and then we'll come back to let you know how true it feels to us so we'll decide whether it passes our fact check.

43:19Let's go. So I'm going to read this out aren't I So this week's fact check comes from Daniel who's emailed us to say Hello Joan James, big fan of the podcast I was celebrating the Battle of Hastings Day Of course you were, we all were Absolutely. I can't even remember. I can't even remember last day. I've got to calm down a bit. Fucking hell. God, it's more like, you know, Battle of Hastings Day. It's like a four-day hangover. That's the thing. Claire's like, I don't want you going mental on Battle of Hastings Day again this year. And I'm like, I have to. I always go, no, I always go, no, I won't.

43:46But then, you know, it's like. Yeah. You just get caught up in the. You do. You know, all the. You do. And someone brings out a crossbow. That's it. Before you know it. You've got an arrow in the eye. I know. I can't have too many more running out of eyes. Anyway, Daniel says... I was celebrating the Battle of Hastings Day last year with a crate of beers, as you do. Of course you do. Which got me thinking about when you drink and need to go to the toilet and people say about breaking the seal. Yes, interesting. Which then leads to going to the toilet after every drink. Is there any truth to breaking the seal?

44:18Thanks, Daniel. Good question. Yeah, good question. Very much now wheelhouse, I think. Because it's sort of urban myth and also bodily. I've got to be honest, man. I don't know too much about the phrase breaking the seal. I've heard it. I thought it was like the piss equivalent to touching cloth. I don't think it is, but we're going to get on the case. Maybe you need to piss so much that you're starting to leak a little bit. The seal's been broken and you've got – I'm not saying I've been in that situation. No, I'm not sure it is that. I think we're talking about something higher up inside the body where there's a valve of some kind.

44:57Right. breaking the seal is if you're out drinking as soon as you go to the toilet well anyway we should probably go for a break we should probably go for a break and we'll talk about this after the break we'll be right back

45:13what's the significance of that bag behind you is that from one of your that's our laundry bag I think is it meant to be though part of the set one of you had one of these as a kid did I leave one of my what's going on is that your actual laundry bag. I'd fucking buy it, mate. Also, James, you wear two pairs of socks? Yeah, I am, yeah. I've got shoes that are slightly too big for me. I love the way I can just see it coming through a little bit. So I have to wear sort of thick socks. I thought you were trying to not brand or something. You know when you have a logo and they cover it up with tape or something?

45:43I do wear cream. The problem is, is I, whenever I buy shoes, I always wear thick, like schoolboy socks. Socks that you'd wear to PE or something. Yeah. And then when I get home, I, I wanted to wear thin socks with these because I like the cream colour. Yeah. And they just felt a bit uncomfortable. They felt a bit loose. I was like, oh, these don't feel as nice as when I'm wearing my thick socks on. You could pop another inner sole in. I'd just close the gap a bit. I might get lifts. I had lifts for a film I did once because I was small. I did the festival. Yeah. And Hamid, who was my co-star, must be over six foot.

46:20And they did have to put stuff in my wellies to make me, because he was so much taller than me. like sort of Lord of the Rings or something yeah it was like working with Greg Davis basically yeah it was yeah yeah yeah we once we got accused of it wasn't accused people were like because Greg Davis is so so tall so tall and we're not tall we're not tall apart from Blake obviously yeah but I mean even Blake is within Blake's six six yeah okay I think he might be over six maybe he's over six but certainly me you and Bird we're you know we're Bird especially what's he five eight I don't know. Because they were like, when it was, because there's a lot of Gilbert and Will scenes.

47:00Yeah, that's right. With them two together. And they're like, fucking hell, man. It's amazing that you guys use that Lord of the Rings technology to get the teacher and the kids to look so small. We're like, no, that's it. No, no. That's what they look like, stood together. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that was funny. There was a thing where they were doing a scene together and because Bird kept lining up to his belly or something. And Greg Davis's belly would move and it kept putting... Simon Bird kept laughing. He is tall. Well, and on Taskmaster, which he presents with Alex Horn, Alex Horn is tall. He's like 6 '2".

47:38And on Taskmaster... He doesn't look it. Yeah. He looks like... He's known as Little Al. Little Alex. Yeah. I say that about basketball players. When I'd watch the NBA or stuff, I'd be like, fucking hell, that bloke's tiny. How has he managed to get onto a basketball team. Yeah. And then I'd like Googling who it is and be like, he's six foot two. Yeah. I was like, oh no, he's really tall. Yeah, no, the whole thing. But everyone else is just a giant. Yeah, no, it is. Wasn't it Michael Jordan was only six foot two? Is that true? And one of the things that people always say about him is he was so brilliant even though he was basically quite short.

48:19And in that context, quite short means six foot two. it's amazing yeah anyway we're getting um we're trying to get to the bottom of um the saying breaking the seal um well first of all i do think this is true i mean it is you can have i don't know three or four pints and you just feel sort of fine and then you go once and then it's like well when i was at school they uh my biology teacher used to say water molecules love each other so basically if you uh if you start a flow of water it kind of wants to carry on and i always used to watch my dad what was he doing there's a thing that where you could he might even if my dad used to make wine and you could basically get something to go up a tube and go into something that was actually higher up than where it was coming from i think that was like an 80s 90s thing my dad brewed beer yeah so he started going so he started the flow himself so once the flow started the water keeps kind of going like sort of like lemmings it goes oh the other guys are going up there so let's go there and but obviously that's not the case with with piss because you do stop the flow no but there is a thing like once you go once you're down the pub and you go for that one piss you do like twice an hour you've got to go to the toilet once you've done that the only thing that confuses me about that is that alcohol is meant to be dehydrating right is that true it is no but what no the reason what is that what it is dehydrating because what what's happening is that your body is using all your water to try and get rid alcohol is a poison actually a a low-key poison so like it your body i'll drink some of that yeah so your body is that'd be good we should save this for if we get a beer sponsorship um it's poison so so when they they put your poison they do so what your body is doing is it's using water that's inside your body to flush out the poison right so once you have done all you the body didn't want to do that number of weeds but it was like we have to yeah because we have to we have to flush out this stuff and then once you've got so it's always it's always annoying if you've had lots of pints because what you need to do is you need to do loads of weeds then you're dehydrated then you need to have water to replace the dehydration then you have too much water then you're like so now i need to piss out all that water and then that's what it's ages to go to bed because you're Like you have to constantly keep stopping.

50:38It's like a two-hour process. I've had a few beers. Like my piss is crystal clear. Yeah. Because I always thought if your piss had a colour, that means you need to drink more water. No, I think it doesn't really apply in the alcohol situation because you're basically getting rid of water that your body actually wants to kind of hold on to.

51:05because it's... But it can't because it's trying to get rid of the alcohol. But breaking the seal... What's all about breaking the seal? The phrase breaking the seal... It's definitely correct, but I don't know why it's scientifically true. But that's a phrase, a specific phrase that lends itself to lots of stuff, doesn't it? Break the seal, yeah. Did it come from Pringles? Do you think it came from Pringles? It came from Pringles, yeah. As long as you pop, you just can't stop, can you? I'm trying to think... Pringles, get in touch. I fucking love Pringles See what goes well with beer Pringles I think Yeah no it does It comes from Well no it is used in lots of Well the idea being that there's a kind of But it's also true in that Once you've gone to piss once Then like I say Like every half hour Every drink After every drink You've got to go to the loo after that There's truth in it I'm going to go as fact There is truth in it but exactly how was it phrased though?

52:02Is there any truth to breaking the seal? Anecdotally, in my experience, it's definitely a thing. That's it. It's definitely a truth. That's all I need. If you had like four pints, you still might not feel like you even particularly need to go to the toilet. If you go once, now presumably there's less beer in you. Yeah. But now if you put one more pint in, you have to go with as great a need if I'm not drinking I'll maybe if I'm not drinking I'll maybe piss twice a day yeah yeah but if I'm having a beer and then I have a couple of pints and I go I've got to go and have a piss yeah and then yeah so I fucking I'm like if I'm having four or five more beers after that yeah definitely four or five more pisses definitely it's one but it's then one out one in what's weird is that by the time you've it is isn't it it's like the first bit it's like I don't know what's going on with the first bit where you can have lots of pints inside you and sort of not much is happening.

53:06Anyway, so after that, I don't know. It's like a sort of policy change from the body. Do you know what I mean? It's like the body's sort of gone. It's like what you said about he's trying to flush out the poison. He's trying to get rid of it. He's trying to flush out. Maybe to begin with, it's like, it doesn't quite know what it is. He's like, is it poison? And then you do it once and it's like, I was poison. So from now on, every time. Should we ask? I'm going to say it's fact. Just for you. I think it's, I'm sure. It does seem correct. I think it's fact. Just because it happens to me every time.

53:36It happens to me every time. Yeah. And I, it just is true. Yeah. Once I break the seal, I'm pissing all night long. Yeah. After that. It just is true. So, but maybe we need to find out why it's true. Sadie, what were you saying? We're confident enough to not even ask if it's true. It's fact. It is fact. I think it's so fact it hurts. It is fact, but yeah. It is so fact it hurts. Yeah. Only because through my own experience, it is so fact it hurts. I think it's so fact it hurts.

54:10So it is true, but it's quite a hard one to search because the internet thinks I'm asking if there's an actual seal that breaks. Yeah, okay. But it says alcohol suppresses the release of an anti-diuretic hormone. This hormone instructs the kidney to absorb any guzzled fluid to distribute the rest of the body. okay okay so i guess your body's not retaining any of the liquid so the kidney is just bypassing the kidneys going straight out the piss pipe yeah although that's that's so so it suppresses an anti-diagnostic so even if you'd had a couple of beers and then was just like say you had four pints yeah yeah and you're like god i need a piss so you have a piss and you go do you know what i'm just gonna have pints of water from now on i would i feel like the kidneys would still be bypassed and you'd still carry on pissing.

54:56As long as alcohol's in your system, the antidiuretic hormone is. So, but that still doesn't quite cover the... Well, that's the seal breaking, isn't it? That's the seal breaking. The body goes, there's alcohol going on, we need to flush this out. So the alcohol gets up to a sufficient level. I wonder if... Where from that point on... I wonder if you had five pints. now I wouldn't do this as an experiment because it sounds boring right but you're having a good you're in the pub, you're with your pals you know you're out of the house, you're enjoying yourself right you have a couple of pints, three pints you have three pints, usually after three pints that's when I'm like fucking hell I've got to go for a piss and then it is like after every drink I've got to go for a piss but that's what I like about going to the pub so I'm just wondering whether if I stopped at three pints and didn't drink anything else after that whether I'd still like after half an hour would still need a piss it seems to me that what's happening is that the I might have to do some more research on this one I think the alcohol is at a certain level I think I've got to spend more time down the pub for this podcast It's your work.

56:20Yeah, that's the thing. You probably will actually have to... And it'll be a business expense. You'll have to turn your phone off or something as well. Yeah. Because it'll be like, oh, I'm at work. I can't be... Yeah, exactly. I'm doing science. Exactly. As you say, you'll need to take out pay cash. Oh, yeah. I'll be keeping the receipts. We'll put a line in the budget for audio always. Yeah. And they'll be like, that seems a bit high. Yeah. So we're saying... We're saying fact. We're saying fact. It's... Say the same fact. the computer as well so interestingly it's not the liquid in the beer it's the alcohol in the beer so presumably even if you drank something that was not particularly liquid so you just had lots of whiskey because that it seems to me that the the natural state of affairs is for so if you didn't have the anti-diuretic you'd put the liquid in and it just kind of come straight out the other end so the anti-diuretic is to say retain some of that water but then if you have the alcohol it returns things to a kind of state of nature where it's like put it in it comes out right so that's why it's just all but it is also flushing away yeah the poison but and i assume also that's why you're dehydrated the next day yeah because any any water that is in your body is being is being used to flush out yeah that's it yeah that's it and you're not yeah exactly thank you very much we've got to the bottom of it thank you daniel thank you thank you daniel um joe have you got a fact for me yeah i have so is it more interesting than my one well no i i mean i found it interesting but but but um i don't know uh so this is uh about so i was thinking about the punic wars and about the uh the mediterranean world that they were fought in and i was thinking well we've been to Majorca because the Carthaginians had they also part of their empire I suppose was the Balearic Islands Majorca Manorca is that any piece of it the Carthaginians used to get a specific sort of soldier from the Balearic Islands a specific sort of soldier and I wonder if you might like to guess what that type of soldier is.

58:43There was a certain skill that this... Certain skill from the certain skill. Oh man, I would love to have a really clever answer for you. I'll give you a clue. Go on. Think of David and Goliath. Oh, those people that would... Slingers. Slingers. The Slingers came from the Balearic Islands. And in fact, the Balearic Islands, their name comes from the Greek word balo meaning to throw right uh and yeah so this was so these guys fucking love i suppose what i'm thinking is in the david and goliath story it's one guy who gets the giant with this draw i imagine that it was more like a hail of arrows so you'd get so these stones would go black yes they weren't massive they were about half a kilogram 21 ounces these these stones that they throw but if you had 2 ,000 slingers, what would happen is just a hail of stones would suddenly come down.

59:42And it seems as though it was often the way that they would begin a battle. A bit like with Loads of Aries to kind of soften the enemy up. So I didn't know that. And I didn't know that slingers were a kind of, could be like a regiment of slingers. Yeah, I didn't know that. Cavalry or infantry. But yeah, that's my that's my facts. What do you think about that? No, I love that. and uh you know we were on the we're obviously on mallorca with with greg davis so we could have done a sort of david and goliath thing he's he's the giant and um i don't think i'd be able to throw a stone high enough to hit him on the head no well bird couldn't certainly he wouldn't be able to reach him he'd better reach his sort of upper chest but there's uh but yeah that's uh and i did i didn't know that that was that's what they were renowned for i don't know why they were particularly but on Carthage right yeah they got those guys from the Balearic Islands right yeah and also I was talking about how they were really really great ship builders and that carried on for centuries by the way there was still a point when the Western Empire of the Roman Empire had fallen and Justinian was I suppose the early Byzantine the Byzantine the eastern bit carried on and then it was the the Visigoths and people like that that had taken over and they'd taken over Carthage as well and one of the first things that Justinian wanted back was Carthage because they'd they basically became but they rebuilt it the Romans it was just there it was these ship this shipbuilding equipment was just always there right yeah and it carried on until like 1500s that they were so great and and and justinian wanted to get carthage back that was like the he eventually for a brief period got rome back into um into the roman empire yeah uh but um always helps doesn't it yeah but he um but he's not one of the founding members but he uh yeah he wanted carthage well it may have been the case that because because the the people that had taken over over carthage after after the romans had been defeated and pushed back into the into the west there uh was that they had all these ship these this ship building equipment and they became masters of the of the mediterranean basically and and they was and they and they were still the best i mean it's interesting because technology now progresses so quickly but it's interesting to think of living in a world where well this is the middle ages the middle ages where the where everything everything basically stood still and actually you you would occasionally come you would come across architecture from the classical world and it was better than what you could do now but it was from hundreds of years ago and that seems very that must be very strange it must have been like it must have been a weird time to be alive to think we're worse at like technical things than people who came before us it's what that must have been and it was probably perhaps with shipbuilding i imagine that maybe for a long time this level of technology did still represent kind of the the high point of of shipbuilding technology i don't know how much ships kind of improved in the middle ages but there was stuff that happened like in the first couple of hundred years of uh you know ad yeah carried on for over a thousand years there was like um like the knights templar eventually ended up in roads yeah um and uh and but that sort of became a thorn in solomon the great's side because he couldn't get ships through the Mediterranean and isn't their flag is like the flag of the island of Malta isn't that the Knights of St yeah it's steeped in history the English flag the cross of St George is actually the flag of Genoa because English merchants used to fly under the protection of the Genoese state so what you want if you had a ship full of valuable cargo you would want to have some flag up that signified this cargo has been registered with this port and if it gets stolen don't fuck with us basically so you needed to be under the protection of a maritime power and genoa was one of the was the one that some of the english merchants happened to choose so often you'd have a ship full of english people and they'd be flying the the genoa flag and that that became brilliant the english flag fucking love that right we should probably we should probably wrap this up yep right we've done punic wars we've done it all right yeah sorry if that was proper nerdy that no but it was i think we needed to i needed to get that out my sister we need to break the seal on the punic war absolutely we've uh but now unfortunately we're not gonna have to do it every half an hour because we've broken this um but yeah what have we learned today we have learned that um that if uh the romans didn't win the punic wars you wouldn't have a senate in America.

1:05:06We've learned that you do break the seal when you go out on the piss. And we've learned that the Carthaginians recruited the Stoneslingers from where were they from? Balearic. The Balearic Islands. I'm all fact up. I'm all fact out. I'm fact up as well. We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and piss tracts. Good. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense, any kind of like, would you rather? They're good. They're always good fun. Our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822034330.

1:05:54I would encourage a voice note. I do love a voice note. And follow us on social media at joandjamespod. And all that information is in the podcast description. If I had struggled saying words there, which I know for a fact they did. I think you did a great job. That's it, Joe. That's it. We've done another one. We'll be back next week. Yes, we have. See you later. Bye, guys. Bye.

1:06:20Joe and James, Facts Up.

1:06:27Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

1:07:02hi my name's alice de green are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause oh god that was revile my name's rachel yeah stomachs it's a podcast that we make it's called don't think so somehow and all we do is bicker it's largely pointless we don't really get on or even enjoy doing it i got id for alcohol the other day you're joking yeah in leeds that's mad it's like id and judy dench this might just be a podcast for you don't think so somehow every time i get a message saying loving the new podcast i'm like why why like