Can Burying a Sausage Save Your Marriage?

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1:19Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork.com. I'm terrified of being like, I mean, I'm sure everyone's touched some wood right now. But I've only been under general anesthetic once in my life. Me too. And I'm terrified of going under general anaesthetic now post being on the TV and the in-betweeners stuff because I just think people will just have a little look at my knob.

2:01I just think they will. I think they'll be like, wait, we've got Joe from the in-betweeners in here. I don't think they'll look at your knob. I think they will. I think they will, Joe. I don't. I mean, that's also why, like me and Claire, we're, our youngest child is, how old is he? He's 13 in a couple of months time. That's our youngest child is 13. Me and Claire, we're done with the kid thing. Yeah. So I should, and I know I am as well. Let's be realistic. Whatever happens with me and Claire, I don't know. She might finally come to her senses at some point. But I know that even if I... She's got too many sunk costs now.

2:45But even if I was to move on... It would be embarrassing for her because she would have wasted all this time. And like, she'll just make it look as though it's... She'd look like an idiot. Yeah, she'd look like an idiot. All that stuff that all her pals were saying at the beginning of our relationship. What are you doing with him? Like, what the fuck's going on there? You were right. And they were like, oh my God. She doesn't want to prove them right. No, exactly. But like, if me and Klesper up or whatever, I've no intention of... have it with Claire or without I don't want any more kids at all whatsoever yeah I should go and have the old snip shouldn't I yeah I just I don't want I don't I want people looking at my knob it's so annoying they are going to look at your knob well someone's going to have to with that um oh I see with that thing with that thing yeah but in a I feel like I've had professional I feel like I've been ambushed by doctors in the past as well, where I've gone into situations where I'm definitely sure I'm not going to have to get my knob out.

3:47But then I do. Yeah. I remember we did that thing. No, but I remember for the Inbetweeners movie, the first Inbetweeners movie. Yeah, that was funny. We all had – you all have to have – you all have to go to Harley Street. Yeah. And we all went at different times because it was fit around our schedule for the rehearsals. So, oh, James, you're not in this afternoon. These scenes are just Blake and Will. Blake and Will. Blake and Bird and whatever, right? Whoever they are. Whoever the fuck they are. Joey. Joey Simons. Sarah Jessica Parker. So they go, all right, you go off to your doctor's appointment now.

4:29And I think I was the last one to go. I went to Harley Street. It's for the insurance. because if you die they can't do a film and you're i thought it was to make sure you're healthy enough to do a film it's not at all it's to just say we had him checked yeah and now he's died and we can't make a film so we need some money back yeah right and i came back and uh i was the last one to go to my doctors and i was like i was talking to you boys i was like god it's a bit intense with it like usually it's like oh um did you was you out of breath walking up the stairs on the way in you go no they go right you're fine to do a film because funny enough you don't have to be in the peak condition to make a movie unless you're tom cruise and you're jumping out of planes or whatever yeah you're fine yeah right um usually all the films that i've been doing are usually set in someone's living room or in a restaurant and we're not we're not generally playing characters who were supposed to be action heroes.

5:28Yeah, sure. We're not meant to look good without Top Off. So, and I came back to the rehearsals to carry on the day with you guys. I was like, fucking hell, that was a bit much, wasn't it? Fucking having to check your old balls and your cock there. And all you boys went, what? What are you talking about? I was like, well, my doctor, who's the oldest man I've ever seen in my life, by the way, had his bony fingers, like feeling my pipes in my balls, which I didn't know was a thing, to be honest. I don't know what he was doing. And in hindsight, I'll be honest, I've thought about it a tiny amount and I stopped myself from thinking about it because I go, yeah, that was unnecessary.

6:11I'm not 100 % sure what's gone on in that situation. It was, I don't, I cannot find any logic in my brain. I can't find out a reason why. He said, how old are you? And I think I was 24 or something like that, 23. He was like, well, you're in the bracket for testicular cancer, so I better check that and then make sure you're all right. And I went, okay. Well, yeah, it's a free testicular cancer check. I'll tell you something, man. The guy, the chap there, it's not the biggest at the best of times. and he really fucking let me down. Any sort of situation where he might have to pop out and say hello for a second, I feel like he's going, no, absolutely not.

7:03Yeah, I've never been impressed with anyone. Sometimes I do. I don't even know. Sometimes I do catch it and I go, do you know what? You're not doing too bad, man. You're doing all right. And then other times it looks like a completely different penises on my body. Like some sort of child has swapped penises with me or something. Yeah, that's kind of the cold, really cold sea. But not even cold. Like any water. Unless it's the shower. Any water leaves me. Like most swimming pools are heated to a, for want of a better word, degree. pun-tastic no what is it unbelievable that is unbelievable yeah but they're not and it might just about be for want of a better word as well anytime I'm in a swimming pool yeah the guy just goes yeah just disappears like sometimes I've like when you go on holiday with the kids and stuff like that and you spend a day by the pool and I've been getting in and out of the pool all day long and then I have a shower in the evening and I go, where are you?

8:17Where have you gone there? I'm trying to clean you, mate. We're in the shower now. Yeah, doesn't want to be clean. Trying to catch it. It's like trying to peel a panini sticker. You've got to get your finger now under it. Try and catch a lip. I'm trying to find the end of the sellotape. Yeah, absolutely. That's exactly what it's like. The search for my penis. And then in the end, you're like, you know what? I'll just leave it. Just leave it. Yeah. You never really need sellotape, do you? It's quite low stakes, isn't it? You'd never, there's never life or death to sellotape, is it? If somebody just said there's no more sellotape in the world, it'd be like, it's fine.

8:58It's a very emotional organ. It is emotional. Unless conditions are prime. Do you remember the thing at school where they go, the cannibals give you an erection before they eat your penis so that there's more meat? That's from Gervais. Yeah, I know. Yeah, yeah. In school. In school. And in school as well. That's right, Gervais. Is there more meat? It would just be blood. I imagine if you gave me an erection and then chopped off my penis, it would just go... Yeah, no, of course it wouldn't. It definitely wouldn't be bigger because there's more meat. It's definitely not true. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely not true.

9:38Would it be like a water balloon, do you think? Yeah, absolutely. It would, yeah. A fleshy water balloon. Yeah. I feel like I'm learning lots. Yeah. No, it wouldn't. Of course there's no more meat. I'm just saying, ladies, it's a very, you know, sometimes it looks good and sometimes it looks very sorry for itself. You can't judge the penis. And everyone does. Yeah. And that's why I'm terrified. I don't know for a fact. if you put some general anaesthetic in my body that my penis would go it would just freak out you don't know it might be you know with the maybe I could give myself an erection before I before I go under general anaesthetic maybe that's what you need to do do you have a nickname for your penis while we're here no I mean are you are you supposed to I don't know man is it weird not to like having a pet and how would you refer to it you know just in sort of day to day my brother's mother-in-law she has a cat she doesn't have a name what she's she's she's Dutch and she's quite like unsentimental right so they went oh what's your cat's name and she was like oh it's just a cat yeah it's just a cat unbelievable that is like she likes the cat just very European.

11:06We're sort of like, which is a cat? It doesn't have a name. Don't be so stupid. My mate, Ferg's cat. Yeah. You know Ferg, didn't you? I know. Yeah. Do I know Ferg? Yeah. Have I told you his cat's name? Dead now, but years ago. Dead now, but years ago? No. It's a funny name. His cat. Oh, pointless. Genuinely pointless. Hovercroft.

11:28What? That's ridiculous. His cat was called Hovercroft. Hovercroft. he used to call it the craft okay yeah that's amazing his cat's name was hovercraft that's genuinely amazing my family jack when I was little was pussy pussy yeah yeah but it's well but it's you know that's a shame that because that's a fine name for a cat yeah pussy used to be the name that humans had as well It's quite sort of Streetcar Named Desire, isn't it? Like, you're calling the cat in. Who'd be doing that? What's he called? Stan? No, not Stanley. The Marlon Brando one. He'd be shouting out, pussy! And then your teacher would go, this is a very clever reminder of the fact that sex is everywhere.

12:18Yeah. Because at the beginning of that, he's calling out something like, red meat! Red meat! And it's like, this is a reminder of how he's a man. and so it might, you know, call now pussy out the back door. That's quite... That's not that clever. I've never seen that. Yeah, I don't think it was that clever either. I've never seen the play or the film. The other thing they used to see about Streetcar Named Desire is it's meant to be incredible. It's got incredibly long stage directions. He's just saying red meat and that's meant to be context, subtext. It's full of underlying, yeah. Yeah. There's no subtext about that.

12:49There are two streetcars shouting red meat. One's called cemeteries and one's called desire. What does that tell you? Right. Sex and death. Okay. Yeah. pretty clever stuff there is an old a very old song I think it's from I think it might be from the late 19th century or something like that and it's it's a double entendre very naughty yeah but you do if you even if you listen to it now yeah it would like make Eminem blush yeah it's like my girl's pussy or something like that. Because no one knew what it meant. The lyrics of it. No, I've got like a Bob Dylan album of like not his songs but stuff that he's...

13:36She's wet at the night, my girl's pussy. Yeah, no, it is. It's like on a banjo or something like that. Because once that door's open, once they're like, oh, no one knows what I really mean, then you can just do whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah, I've got, there's a song, an old song from like the... Lily Mae, can you find out the my girl's pussy lyrics first quickly? I'd love to Google that on my work. Yeah, why not? But I think, yeah, if people don't know what the language means, then you can... Okay. Harry, Roy and his orchestra, my girl's pussy. Do you want me to get the lyrics off? What year was it?

14:09Do you know? 1931, it appears. A lot more recent than what I thought it was. I mean, in lieu of a film script, you could read some of the lyrics verbatim if you wished to. No, we'll save the film scripts. Get your film scripts in. Me and Joe are desperate to reenact some of your favourite scenes. Yeah, please specify scenes, I think, would be really helpful, actually. Oh, yeah. If they're films I haven't seen, scenes would be good to know. Yeah, we need scenes. Sexier the better. Not the whole script. No, of course not. Yeah. What are the lyrics there, Lily Mae? All of them? Oh, actually, it's quite short.

14:46Yeah, yeah, it's not. Okay, fine. I'm going to see it. It's not, I assume back in the 30s it was a bit sort of, oh, I wonder if he is talking about that. I think now, this day and age, you go, right, we know what the guy's going on. But what about the James Bond films? Literally one of them is called Octopussy. Yeah, that's a bit. And you're like, I mean, for heaven's sake. Well, there's Pussy Galore. Pussy Galore. In Goldfinger. I mean, just like mainstream British films. Obsessed with the quantity of pussy as well. Octopussy and Pussy Galore. That's already too much pussy. Yeah, so much pussy.

15:18I'm sure there's a couple more. Well, Priscilla Gould was only one woman. So if you had a bloke who was called like 100 Penises, you'd be like, well, that just sounds really weird. Like, just a man covered in penises. You'd be like, oh, I'll tell you what, she's a lucky lady. Well, of course, Mike Myers did the joke. Oh, what's it? In Austin Powers. Austin Powers, there was a genuine, and I only just recently read about this, was that there was Barbara Broccoli and the producers of the James Bond films were genuinely like, because there was a big break from Pierce Brosnan to Daniel Craig. Right.

15:59And they were like, Austin Powers has fucked it. Austin Powers has fucked it. Like we can't do anything anymore because it is now just a joke. Austin Powers is one of the greatest films ever made, by the way. It's brilliant. The first one specifically. Yeah. And it does just tear apart that whole genre. And one of the women, one of the femme fatales in Austin Powers is a lotter. Oh, that's right. A lotter vagina. Yeah. No, it is. I mean, yes. I think. But pre-Austin Powers, it was like, oh, pussy galore. Oh, yeah. No, I think it was. Say no more. Whereas Austin Powers just went, that's fucking mental.

16:42It's ridiculous. Yeah. It's ridiculous. Yeah. Do you remember the character in The Mighty Boosh in the episode of The Priest and the Beast called Spider? Yeah, he had eight cocks. Because he had eight penises. He had eight penises. And there's a scene where Noel Fielding is out having a piss and it's just loads of sprays coming out of him. Yeah, heavy spray. I think he actually elevates a little bit from the spray. It is this, what is it? Your bones are bound in a dress. It's not a dress. It is not a dress. It's a robe. Of the psychedelic monks. It's the sacred robe of the psychedelic monks. Oh, she's brilliant.

17:24Yeah, give us just a few of those lyrics from My Girl's Pussy. There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get set. I stroke it every chance I get. It's My Girl's Pussy. Seldom plays, never purrs. I love the thought it stirs. but I don't mind because it's hers. It's my girl's pussy. Thank you. Often it comes out at night, return at the break of dawn, no matter what the weather's like, it's always nice and warm. Right, okay, that feels gross in my mouth. Oh, it gets worse. It's never dirty, always clean. It's giving thrills, never mean, but it's the best I've ever seen. It's my girl's pussy.

18:08I think I'll leave it there. Brilliant. It actually just repeats from there. Yeah. Oh, there's a little bit at the end where it's got flourished, but we don't need to do that. Should we do the old pod? Let's do a podcast. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Facts Up! Welcome to Joe and James Facts Up. Each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting, and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. I'm sure you're all still trying to get your minds back together. I'm sure they were blown by our road facts. last week yeah i'm sure you're all struggling i hope a week has given you enough time to yeah recover from no it was that there are more vans on the road these days and that buying a house in san francisco can be quite expensive yeah i think we um we really kind of we didn't really try and go like it's not what you'd think yeah we were like it is what you think yeah I think we kind of let ourselves down a bit but we've got well we've got more facts today don't worry well you say we've got more facts we'll also I haven't got mine yet oh I've got mine if you don't want to do one that's fine I've got mine and mine's quick I'll get oh no I'll have one don't worry that's bad form considering today's theme as well not gonna lie hey the anniversary of Anne Boleyn's death well yeah you know women you're spoiling the because it looks like I don't care about women yeah I was gonna Oh, no.

19:39I was going to build up to it. No, I... I was going to build up to it. Well, we're going to be doing facts about Anne Boleyn. What's wrong with that? Anne Boleyn. Anne Boleyn. It does sound like the Anne Boleyn alley. Have you heard of her before? I thought you made her double-barreled. Anne Boleyn. Oh, yeah, Boleyn. Because it's Anne Boleyn Day, is that right? Yeah, so it's the anniversary of Anne Boleyn's death. It was 490 years ago today. Wow. That's crazy, doesn't it? It doesn't seem that long ago. And she's my favourite of Henry's wives. She's the favourite one. Yeah. I think she's kind of iconic.

20:13Well, I've got... Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a Yas queen. I actually dressed up as her for Halloween one year. Really? I don't know how tasteful that is, but... Did you do, like, a head off? No, I had a necklace that was, like, blood dripping from your neck. I don't know how tasteful it was. It was too soon. I was like, ooh. I respect her. It's a bit much. Lily mate I'm going to have to ask you to leave Some people are a bit uncomfortable With your costume choice They're still

20:47I've disgraced myself and I'm sorry Did you turn up as Diana the next year? No I haven't got to wait a few hundred years for that one yet Okay But we will be talking about Anne Boleyn We've got some Anne Boleyn facts Jo might have one We'll also dig into the weird facts that you'd like us to think are true but can't be asked to research yourself in a segment that we're calling fact check speaking of which there is a fact there is something i can't be asked to check myself and i i was hoping that you would um help me out or you would do the work because we don't ask enough of you already um but i am on my zips pretty much every zip i own i know what you're gonna say ykk yeah yeah the fuck's that all about that is really weird i always assumed it was just one they just they've just patented the zip or something they do everything imagine that fucking well if you can be bothered let us know what the YKK on the zip means let us know in the comments I'll be reading them because it used to I when I I think I first noticed it in the year 2000 right and I was like YKK and you've not even looked it up from then no I haven't got time I've it's one of there's some stuff that you really would like to know that you just sort of go I'd really like to know that but I'm at work at the moment yeah and then you forget it for a few months and then you remember it again when you're driving then you go right I'll be able to check that when I get home yeah anyway um those things can go on for years can't they it's funny no I think I think I think it's like I feel like if I'm looking that up I would just intrinsically feel that I should be doing something better with my time like if I'm saying am I really I would I really I would I honestly think I'm lucky to exist at all.

22:29The pursuit of knowledge. Yeah, but it feels like I should be pursuing other knowledge. And then when you're at a pub quiz and it comes up. Yeah, that's true. And you're the fucking hero. That's true. And now I've won money. Yeah, for my mates and their families. Always think of the pub quiz. I can't remember the last time I was at a pub quiz. I went to one. But the pub quiz is something that I think about all the time. I'll learn something. I'll go, right, remember that just in case I'm in a pub quiz. Yeah. I could be a hero declares all over me yeah no I do things like that as well that's what goes on in my head that's how getting an answer right in a pub quiz feels especially if people aren't backing you on it what are we talking about yeah no find out what YKK means on the old zip there for me but if you want us to find something out for you say find something out me and Joe discuss it we decide whether we think it's real or not and then Queen Lily May will actually tell us whether it's true or not send us your facts to verify it.

23:27Our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822 034 330. And follow us on socials at joandjamespod. And you can watch all our episodes in full. Just go to YouTube, search joandjamesfactup. Now, let's get fact up.

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25:08Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork.com. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here, and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden, or maybe on the golf course, can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated.

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25:58I'll tell you, someone who does have good arse, Joe. Me? I have got a good arse. You've got a good bum. Joe's bum. Joe's got a really nice bum. Yeah. I don't want to objectify you, Joe. I don't mind. I can probably say I wouldn't know. Yeah. Show Lily Mae. Show Lily Mae your bum. No, she doesn't. I don't think she wants. I feel like she doesn't want to. If I catch it, I'll let you know. You've got a nice bum, haven't you? Thank you very much. I bet you've been told that a couple of times in your life as well. I've been told it a little bit. Yeah, I've been told it a little bit. It is sort of like, comes from nowhere.

26:32It is a bit like, oh, fucking hell, that's a good bum. You don't expect it. When do you think you first noticed? Well, my girlfriend at school told me when I was in sixth form. She was like, you're a good bum. Yeah. I was like, thanks so much. Well, I feel like... It used to be better, I think. I had really good legs in sixth form. I played football every day. I used to cycle to school. My thighs used to be massive. Yeah. Me too. They met in the middle. They rub. My thighs were insane. I used to... Yeah. I used to... Because my school was in the different towns and I got sick of getting... in the bus yeah i used to cycle for a bit um i feel like your ass was out all the time while we're doing the in between us yeah more so than anyone else by the testicle episode i basically just thought i mean you've got great testicles but by that point i kind of thought what's happened is that ian and damon have basically just got a map of my body and they're like scene scene scene scene.

27:31See, the problem is we were sort of a bit of a boy band, right? Yeah. I often feel that sort of like. Maybe Simon Bird, maybe he wrote the songs. He's Gary Barlow. He's the Gary Barlow. Me and Blake were Howard and Jason Orange. No, I think you're doing yourself down there. And you were very much the Mark Owen. I think maybe I was the Mark Owen. I think you and Blake, you're very much more Robbie Williams. No, None of us were Robbie Williams. None of us? No. Mr. Gilbert, is he Robbie Williams? Davis, Greg Davis. Yeah, he was the Robbie Williams. Because he went off on his own. He went off on his own and fucking became massive.

28:12Yeah, yeah. He was definitely the Robbie Williams. He's Robbie. Yeah. Well. Also, talking about Netflix, there's that really good Take That documentary on Netflix as well. I loved it. I really loved it. And I know I'm meant to be all Britpop and fucking, I did like take that. I was more E17, but I still appreciate that. Because I've watched a documentary about boy bands and actually I didn't realise, but E17 were like, they weren't really like, well, the word that everyone used at the time was manufactured. They weren't really that. They were kind of, they actually sort of did just. Well, they were the anti-take that at the time.

28:53But they were relatively, I don't know why I've just been taken in by this documentary, but they seem like relatively like, they just emerged spontaneously. They kind of put themselves together like they weren't kind of. I think something manufactured in the 90s is different to what it, it's not just Simon Cowell putting something together now. Yeah, yeah. I think there is, I think even then when something was manufactured in the 90s, there was still something organic about it. Even take that, there was still. there was still I know and what's amazing about them is an organic origin of Gary Barlow with these great and say what you like about Gary Barlow and say like it's Chewing Gum pop or whatever the compositions and the pop songs are absolutely brilliant they're great great songs it's the same with Robbie Williams as well I was a huge Robbie Williams fan I used to be ashamed of being a Robbie Williams fan it was I had me and two of my mates Jack and Muller and we were we were obsessed with Escapology that album absolutely incredible swing when you're winning that's a i know they're all covers but they've performed brilliantly and um and we used to have to keep it on the down low we used to be like don't tell anyone um and it also is a credit to robbie william i don't want to bang on about he is a bit of a hero of mine i think he's a bit um been through the mill and he's a bit of a tortured soul and he's come out the other end um a bit worse for wear and i know a few people like that to be honest especially when they've been young and they've got all this incredible fame it's hard to to come out there's no way intact i don't i don't i don't if i i think you'd be more of a psychopath if you didn't come out i agree if it doesn't if you if you become a celebrity and and you're cool with it and yeah and it's like yeah i should always have been this yeah like there's something weird about yeah i think so if it doesn't fuck you up then like um you're probably not a normal person.

30:48I can't imagine being as big a star as Robbie Williams, like at a certain point. There was a time when it was the millennium and he had the song, we spoke at, well, again, to link it back up, YKK on the set. Yeah, sure. So maybe it's to do with that. But at the time of the millennium, it was almost like, because he had the song, it was almost like he was in charge of the millennium. So every time it was like when it was in the millennium, it was like he was going, millennium, it's the millennium. It was like he somehow, it was like Robbie Williams presents literally the end of a thousand years imagine that's pretty amazing to kind of get your name onto the millennium but also imagine this joe right i know zoom had the pandemic and in hindsight and i watched the again on netflix the robbie williams documentary and it reminded me of a lot of stuff and in hindsight when you think back um to how attacked and ridiculed robbie williams was like i was saying i had to keep on the download i was a robbie williams fan i didn't tell anyone that I really did enjoy Robbie Williams' music.

31:48But to be constantly told in the sun and the newspapers and stuff like that, Robbie Williams is an idiot. If you like him, you're an idiot. Look at this tit. Oh, an ear tosser and all this. But still be the biggest fucking, still sell all the records, still be the biggest live act, even though the media is telling everyone, don't be into Robbie Williams. You shouldn't be into him, but still be on top. reach levels that people could only dream of. Fucking amazing. Absolutely incredible. I've got a fact about Robbie Williams, actually, which I've just double-checked. He beat Oasis' Nebworth record.

32:30That's true. He also has the record for the most expensive record deal in British music history. And some say it could be even higher than that. Even higher. Yeah, then we've got Rudebox, yeah. I do kind of love Rudebox. I think, listen, I think in that stage of his career, he's well entitled to do a bit of Rude Box. He's allowed to go wherever he wants. He's proved himself. I suppose at least he was genuinely trying to do something that had him in before. Sure. It didn't really work, but he tried. I enjoy Rude Box. Did you? I would say. I think it started ironically, and now there's a genuine love there.

33:09I don't agree with all the lyrics, but I think it's a fabulous listener. It's one of the lyrics, if you rude box me, then I'll rude box all your family too, or something like that. It's essentially one of those lines. Robbie Williams is also from near where I'm from as well. But he can have as many blips as he wants, that boy, because he's done what he's done. Have you seen his artwork that he's doing now? No, I've not. Again. Interphysical art now. Oh, it is, is it? But again, he can do whatever he wants, as far as I'm concerned. Escapology is a really great album. Fact. There's no filler in it.

33:43Every song's brilliant. There you go. And I hope he tells himself that every once in a while. Because I feel, I don't know, I feel it's a bravado. I think deep down he needs someone every now and again to go, you're doing all right, Robbie. My favourite line in that documentary is where he said, I wanted to write Karma Police, but actually I'd written Karma Chameleon. Right. And that's, A, that's funny. But B, many people, like I'm a big George Orwell fan, and George Orwell always wanted to be a novelist, and he wanted to be like James Joyce, and he wanted to write Dubliners. And his novels are quite shit, to be honest.

34:24But he's this fantastic journalist, like probably the best journalist of the 20th century. And he didn't really value it. He was like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to. Yeah, all right, there's another one. Fine, there you go. I'm trying to write a novel. Fine, there's another one. Leave me alone. And I mean, Animal Farm and 1984, I don't include them. They're not really novels, I don't think. Robbie Williams legend Robbie if you're listening I really like you can you tune up Robbie I really like you can we do something together do you want to be on a fact based podcast do you want to be on a fact based podcast imagine that we don't have guests I'd have fucking Robbie Williams on in a heartbeat do you want to address him just real quick quick bid and I'd give him a hug as well I'd say Robbie you can wear whatever you want your pants whatever it's fine yeah do it in your oh if you could wear the little pants with the lion on the front particularly those that would be great or just send some pictures of you in the pants that's fine as well just oh don't be don't you're joking yeah even that that music video got me asking questions about myself as a young man yeah i remember um when that music video used to be on the box or mtv and stuff back in the day they used to have to cut it before the end of the song because there's a bit where he ends up because he he strips he starts he strips all his clothes off the ends up in his pants and then the logical conclusion i know don't talk to me about logical conclusions is then then he starts taking his skin off yeah and then he's a skeleton that stuff was apparently too much i couldn't watch it i found it too much yeah yeah i didn't even know that i thought you were it got you're making it was edited i thought you were doing like that guy in the 30s it was like my girl's logical conclusion no no no that is what is uh that is what happens in the unedited music video he rips his skin off he is quite bonkers isn't he i mean that's like I say it goes from sort of sexy to just like genuinely weird and quite disgusting.

36:11Absolutely, yeah. I think he's an artist. I really think he is. Like if you, you know, the definition of the word artist, he is it. Say what you like about him. But let's get, oh, is it my fact? Is that what we're supposed to be doing right now? Okay. It is my fact, Joe. So today is the anniversary of Anne Boleyn's death, 19th of May, 1539. So we've been asked to bring in some Bowling facts. Could have gone any. It's actually, sorry, that's 1539 and that's my fault because the wrong number was in the script and I just want to let you know. No, it does say 39. Yeah. Or 36. Yeah, I typed in. Oh, okay.

36:50It's 36. 1536. You should have jumped in. You've got a degree from Cambridge in history. You should have helped me out. I didn't know. I mean, I would have, if you'd have got the century wrong, I would have known. But like, no, I don't know whether it's 36 or 39. Yeah, 1536. 1536. um so here's my anne boleyn fact for you um she basically invented the tudor version of leave him on read okay leave him on leave him on red yeah yeah uh with henry the eighth this is a kind of whatsapp device yeah yeah you get the you get the two blue ticks and you go well you've read it why aren't you getting back to me okay i see okay um at a time when most women at court would have been thrilled to catch the king's attention um because he was a handsome son of the gun back in the day yeah strapping man to pete of course yeah absolutely yeah pete's more late late henry no no pete's pete's young henry no he's not don't he's not he's never say that never go late henry and did the uh so when when a lot of young women would have liked to have had a bit of a bit of a rock and roll with uh with a young henry there um and did the opposite she refused to become his mistress and kept dodging his advances instead of giving him giving in giving yeah yeah um she made him wait and wait and wait turns out it worked too well Henry got so obsessed that he ended up dumping his first wife breaking away from the Catholic Church and creating the Church of England all because she wouldn't fucking just put out a little bit come on love, what do I need to do here?

38:39It is kind of She made him work for it in a way that no woman has ever made a man work for it before Yeah He basically, yes, he had to create a separate religion He changed the course of history yeah uh and there's still to this day some long ramifications from from that whole debacle um but he did all that over a bird yeah imagine that so in a very real sense Anne Boleyn didn't just play hard to get she triggered a national religious breakup because she basically wouldn't text back the sort of 16th century edition so there we go hey Joe yeah um it's time for fact check okay um this is where we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of and then we're going to have a good old think during the ad break then we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us um to decide where it passes our fact check yes this week's fact checked comes from georgia who has sent us a whatsapp oh is there a voice note it's voice note all right great love it was nice hello joe and james and queen lily ray my fact for you guys me and my fiancee callum get married in november 2026 and that is where the inspiration of this comes from i would like to know where the idea that burying a sausage the night before brings good weather and if the sausage should be cooked or left raw um if you guys decree it's a fact then i shall do it i will send photos as proof on november 5th and a cheeky bonus we absolutely love the in between us and have featured iconic quotes from it as our table names so we're open to suggestions if you guys have any thanks so much this has been georgia right let's have a quick little yeah so table names for the hang on let's have a quick little break and then we're going to jump on this all right in a world where ai is changing every role in every industry knowing who actually has deep expertise matters more than ever upwork connects you with the highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records so you can hire with confidence upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise so you can fill critical skill gaps launch projects faster and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount.

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42:52Right, let's get straight back into it. So, first of all, table names. Buswankers. Only in her vagina. Only in her vagina. That's a good one. Buswankers, only in her vagina. What else have we got? Probably up the arse. That's the reference to the queen. Parents have to turn up to this sort of stuff. All right. All right. So, let's do some clean ones. Yeah. I think Buswankers. Buswankers is fine. friends friends yeah although I don't know if I'd yeah friends yeah that's fine isn't it so you've got your bus wankers you've got your friends um Pussay Patrol is that the Pussay Patrol table that'll be alright if you spell it P-U-S-S-A-Y it's not as well I gotta be honest I've got a problem with the word pussy I'm not I'm not a big sort of I am who I am I do I feel it's quite misogynistic the word pussy I think there's something do you know what I mean I'm not comfortable with that word and I do have to do those cameos a lot so I do say pussy yeah I don't like saying the word pussy takes the curse off it but that's what it was it was P-U-S-S pussy patrol pussy patrol yeah um uh beepity beep beep maybe is that yeah beepity beep beep beep beep beep I feel like that would be annoying to direct people to that table yeah okay so yeah Yeah.

44:20It depends. I mean, it's not up to Georgia. I mean, it's her fucking day. She can do whatever she wants. Everyone's got to get on board with it. That's the point of the wedding. And we're going to get on with that sausage thing in a minute. Yeah, yeah. That was nonsense. That is fucking mental. I don't know what that was. I don't ever know. I don't know how to unwrap that one. The other stuff that you said was I could deal with. You have the feisty ones. The feisty ones. The feisty ones, yes. The feisty ones. Cornetto liquors. Cornetto liquors. Brilliant. That's good. Brilliant. You could have a table just called Swansea.

45:00No. The field trip. No, Swansea. No, that's the shit down her arm episode, right? Yeah. Swansea. Caravan campus. Caravan club. Caravan club. Caravan club. I just caravan club. Caravan club, of course. What was the school called? Did we ever... It was called Rudge Park, wasn't it? Was it called Rudge Park? Rudge Park is the name of the secondary school. Of course it was, yeah. No. Where we actually filmed before. Yeah, it was called Rudge Park. It was Rice Lip High. Rice Lip High. Yeah. That's just Rudge Park to me. And also it was quite funny because we filmed there for Series 1 and then they wouldn't let us back to film for Series 2.

45:38Is that right? Apparently, yeah. I feel like we did the second series there. Maybe they just... And then the third series we then had to go to a disused army barracks. There was definitely one thing where we weren't allowed to film. Well, there was, yeah. We couldn't get the school. Yeah. Well, I think because when we started filming there, it was a brand new school. That's right. And they were grandfathering in the years. So half the school was pretty much empty. Yeah. I think they only had up to year nine or something like that in the schools. The rest of the school was completely empty for us to know.

46:12we could we and we did we made a whole tv show whilst the school was working and all those kids were still there and things like i mean it's amazing for a school to have like my school was absolutely stuffed to the gunnels yeah no space like kids were everywhere there was like demountable classrooms outside it was just like you couldn't there was no there would be no space we had hundreds of kids you wouldn't you wouldn't there wouldn't have been like a room yeah they couldn't have given so to be able to yeah to be able to make a tv show um but we did we did then end up building the common room in a in a uh a disused army barracks yeah we did and it was there was no heating and it was freezing and again it was a theme throughout the in between always fucking always freezing always fucking cold i think there's a thing with comedy where like you're generally not that clothed i felt like there's you don't have yeah there's nothing funny about clothes is there no usually if you want if you want some gags when i did the festival i'd go in I know it's not the in-betweeners but it was Ian directing it.

47:11I'd go in day after day and the only thing on my costume rail... He's obsessed with you being naked, isn't he? The only thing on my costume rail was this pair of pink pants and I'm like, oh, for fuck's sake. He is obsessed. Blake walking around in these Speedos. In Thorpe Park. Do you know what, man? The more I think about those two boys... They're just interested in young men's boys. The more I think about Morris and Beasley, I think they just wanted to see our bums. Yeah, just wanted to see our bums. They've got great bums. what can I say well speak for yourself Jo your mum's great as we've as we've already discovered right we better get back to this oh the sausage thing the sausage thing the sausage thing that sounded insane I've never heard of anything so you've not heard this before I've never even heard of it you bury a sausage so it's about burying a sausage the day before your wedding to ensure you get nice weather so you get good weather yeah obviously that's nonsense where does that come from I can't even remember That was the question.

48:08Where is the tradition? It comes from the Middle Ages. It comes from fucking, do you know what I mean? If you rub crow shit on your head, you'll stop being bald. It comes from that sort of nonsense. Listen, I would say this. Do it because it sounds like a bit of fun and a great tradition. Also, it might be a euphemism. Yeah. You know, burying the old sausage. In the ground. Around your nuptials. That was unbelievable. But for want of a better word. But there's nothing there that screams to me that there is any kind of way that burying a sausage cooked or uncooked is going to... No, no, but I don't think we're being asked that.

48:59We're being asked where does it come from? No, I thought she said... No, where does it come from? Oh, she's saying where did it come from? Where does it come from? Oh, I've got no idea. Yeah. I thought she said, is it true? Well, I think she would like both of the answers. And should we put a cooked or uncooked? Okay. Yes. I thought that was what we were trying to get to the bottom of. She does want to know if it's cooked or uncooked, yeah. I think she wants as much information as possible. Well. I'd love to hear your theories. I've never heard this before in my life at all. I really haven't. Can you reverse engineer some sort of logic to make it feel right?

49:33I can't go, I can't get, my brain's not going anywhere with that. There's no, I mean, there is definitely no connection between burying a sausage to the weather. There's no way that you can decide on the weather by burying a sausage. That's just, that's all that there is there. That's the end of that discussion. However, I would say it sounds like a fun thing to do and that they should both do it because it sounds like a laugh and they'll remember doing it. And whether or not it has any bearing on the weather is – I don't think it matters. I think it just sounds like a fun story and a good tradition to do.

50:22I would say do it, basically, is what I'm saying. I'm thinking that – And if it works, it works. There you go. What do I know? well it's uh i mean it's a kind of it feels like sort of it's like a small offering to the gods right that's what it feels like it feels like it's a small offering of food have a sausage so i would say cook it because i think if i was a god i'd want to i'd want to cook yeah i suppose if i was a god i i could probably cook it if you really wanted to if you really wanted to yeah if it's that sort of thing and you're uh and it's a superstition and you you want the marriage to go well or whatnot or the weather to be good I don't know stick it in a bun as well yeah give it give them a hot dog a bit of mustard yeah maybe some onions crispy onions yeah okay so this yeah so now yeah this is this is this is better yeah yeah um and if you do do it can you take a picture and send it to us please before you bury it because we'd like to see that absolutely yeah I'd like to see it but yeah I would say again not a euphemism we don't want to see pictures of that no no we want pictures of Robbie Williams well I do but can I give my personal number out just for that I wouldn't advise it okay alright I wouldn't advise it yeah so I would say yeah I'd say cook it yeah little line of ketchup yeah stick it in a little a little a little finger roll pop it in a yeah unbelievable um yeah a little uh they are called finger rolls aren't they yeah why would it why would it may you know what some i reckon the root of these traditions is probably that maybe once upon a time someone lost a load of meat or sausages like they fell down a yeah things are you know how things fall down ravines yeah right whoops they're in a wheelbarrow A big wheelbarrow of sausages.

52:21Oh God, it's all falling down a ravine. It's a disaster. But the next day, the sun's out. So people go, make the best of it. A bit like, I think sometimes superstition is a bit like, if something bad happens, but people go, oh, well, something good might happen instead. So you say, it's actually, so actually, it's good to break a mug or something. You know, like on a wedding, you break a, I think it's a, I would say, Lily Mae, it's something to do with it not being uh perfect i think well you know how the french have that phrase good is the enemy of perfect or perfect is the enemy of good so in order there's a lot pressure on a wedding day for it to be perfect so i think do something so it's kind of already fucked like so you do something where it's already a mess so maybe like break the seal a little bit break the seal yeah exactly have the groom put on odd socks or something right do you know what i mean like um uh have um this all makes this all makes more sense than the sausage than burying a sausage to me well the old socks things fine as well but i know what i know what you were saying i think it's coincidental it's coincidental i think it probably happened once i think a sausage got buried i think a sausage got buried it could happen to anyone yeah a sausage gets buried you say that and you like back in the day they had to ban and and they had to sort of and livestock and stuff like in london and cities and stuff like that because the place fucking stank so much They got buried.

53:41You'd have to travel stuff in. You'd have to butcher outside of the city and bring the meat in to sell. Yeah. You would, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you bring it in. You might lose a sausage. It might get buried. Oh, God. It got buried. Next day. Where is it? We'll never find it now. No, but you go, oh, fucking hell. But at least the sun's out. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's coincidental. I've honestly never heard that before. Have you heard that, Katie? no no i think it's something to do with not making not making the day perfect or it's to do with you know the the rain god likes sausage so give it's either an offering it's but enough but enough about their personal life um but um but um that could be their vows rain god like sausage rain god like sausage and then she could say me got me got sausage and then he can say sun's out, guns out.

54:42And then just do that and you're away. And to be fair, if they use buns, sun's out, buns out. Sun's out, buns out. Sun's out, buns out, into the ground, sausage in, sun's out. So there you go. Muzzle toff. That's how it is. Muzzle toff to all the sundry. Well done. And God bless them. God bless them. I'm going to say it's not a fact, Joe. It's not a fact, But where does it come from? I think we're saying either, it's either a kind of offering to show that you're giving a little bit of the food. Maybe you'd bury a bit of food so the harvest would be good the next year. You know, the pig harvest, you know, the big day where you, you know, the pigs have grown enough.

55:24I guess so. Should we throw it over to the Queen? Should we get the Queen's concern? Lillie Mae, why is it? I'm saying not fact. Why is it? Okay. So what I will say is. You seem to understand this. You seem to have had, you've known the answer for ages. just because you've got your laptop. You were just saying, have you not heard that before? So I became aware of this last year because my friend got married and they did this. And that was the first time I had heard of this. Maybe that started it. So you're saying that's what started it. Well, I'm not saying that's what started it. That was the weather like.

55:51And it was nice. However, what I will say is there was rain, but for the actual ceremony itself, it was sunny. And they were getting married outside as well. That is a bit spooky. It is a bit spooky. But what I will say is towards the end of the ceremony, it did start to rain again. Yeah, the ceremony's done. the sausage has completed its obligation I would say if that that is a completely watertight explanation there's no way the sausage didn't work based on that it rained twice suddenly once there's absolutely no way that sausage didn't work I wonder whether it was a chipolata and not a full sausage it might be now was it oh yeah maybe it was I mean can you use a vegan sausage depends we spoke about this it depends what the temperature was yeah like I say these things exactly and it was chilly the night before I do say One day you got a sausage, the next you got a chip-a-lata there going on.

56:41You're thinking, what's going on here? Guy, help me out. Happens to the best of us. So there was not an awful lot of, I would say, research on this, as you may be surprised to hear. No. But it's believed to kind of come from folklore and has got more popularity recently due to online trends. So I think someone has made it popular online, basically, and it's had a bit of a resurgence in terms of perhaps a new trend. Now that I've heard that, I think it sounds like a laugh. It sounds like a fun thing to do the day before the wedding. It sounds like fun. Exactly. So there's a couple of things that people have pondered on whether the roots are.

57:18One of them is that it is an offering to the weather gods. Right. But what I will say is the tradition also is rooted in raw sausages rather than cooked. So it's suggested here that they are raw. Okay. So we'll say don't cook it then. Don't do everything that we said. And also, it doesn't just have to be one sausage. Apparently, you can put a whole packet in there. A whole packet. Okay. Is what has been said. There's also... Do they have packets of sausages in the Middle Ages? Well, a whole string. Yeah. Yeah, full string. There's also some research online to say it has origins in German-speaking regions, such as Austria and Bavaria.

57:58Of course it does. Oh, there it is. And it's a staple of... Yeah, it's Germanic. It's Germanic. And it's cultural and religious. sausages are symbols of prosperity festivity and fertility and tied closely to weddings yeah so burying a sausage became associated with warding off rain and inviting sunshine turning a food item into a superstition yes shall we sum it up we're saying it's probably I'll sum it up for you, you ready Joe? it's bollocks it's a load of old bollocks but it might be a fun thing for you two to do before the day of your wedding do it in the evening before your wedding and who knows the weather might be good and then you can go let us know how the weather turns out November as well November wedding exactly you need it the odds when was I married I was married in November if it's a November wedding in Scotland and it doesn't rain is the weather nice it was clear there was no rain Not that I can remember.

59:02Maybe there was, actually. I genuinely can't remember at all. If it's in the north of England in November and it doesn't rain, then we will say it's fact up. Yeah. Yeah. In fact, this is an opportunity. You guys do it. You can be the verbatim. We're saying there's no research being done on it. Bury your sausage. Now this is the research. There's no... I'd apply for some funding somewhere, honestly. There's no... Shouldn't have to pay for the sausage. And also just follow the science. Yeah. So we can find out. Maybe. We're just trying to follow the science. Because we could go, say they bury their sausage and it's a sunny day the next day.

59:45We can come back and go, it does work. That's fact. Yep. We can agree on that. Say if we bury the sausage and it rains the next day. Not only did we say, oh, it's not fact. We can say, if you bury a sausage, it will rain. great we can go the other way this will be this will finally we'll know one way or the other yeah basically the sausage does something we gotta wait the sausage definitely it definitely doesn't do nothing it's gonna do something it does something yeah everybody knows the sausage does something you can't bury a sausage in the ground and think there aren't gonna be repercussions exactly Jesus Christ you're gonna pay for it one way or the other you're playing God yeah I mean you shouldn't it's fucked up well that's what I'm saying Again, these guys could do it for us.

1:00:31They're professionals, obviously. Wear gloves, wear an eye mask, but get it buried. Yeah, wear goggles. For heaven's sake, just keep it legal and be safe.

1:00:45So, Joe, it's the time. We can't put it off anymore. It's for your fact. We're talking about Anne Boleyn. We are. We're talking about the anniversary of Anne Boleyn's death. And you spoke earlier about how she, because she was quite resistant to Henry's wooing, he probably thought he'd just get whatever he wanted because he was king. And actually, she went, I don't want no scrubs. She did. Yeah. She literally said. And he went, fine. I'll show you. and so to some extent maybe there is probably yeah there is some truth in the idea that basically the Church of England emerged because kind of she because some bloke wanted to get his leg over she wouldn't marry him she wouldn't she wouldn't well I mean I suppose if we were being basic about it she wouldn't have sex with him unless they were married he couldn't marry her because he had this absolutely because he was in a church that wouldn't let him marry her so he said fine I'll do my own church and it's quite extraordinary that the Church of England sort of came into existence as a result of that.

1:01:56Yeah. But anyway, let's... I would probably, I should probably say that there was a big thing going on already. Oh, yeah, no, there was already. About Protestants and stuff like that. There was already like Luther. So you had... I've got to have my boys back. I've got to have Henry's back for a bit. Oh, no, yeah. No, no, it wasn't. No, there were... there was an alternative faith emerging and available. And basically, so the Catholic Church basically said... Who was that geezer that... Martin Luther, right? He basically thought about it for ages and ages and ages and eventually he said... You see the bloke that pinned the thing to the church?

1:02:36Yeah, he did. Although I think it was more like it was his university and he had to put it out there because it was just where you put out what you were going to lecture on. But essentially, yes, he did. Wasn't it made into a book or something where he had an evening, a dinner party or something? And he was just... Apparently, it's hilarious. And he was just properly slagging off the Pope and stuff like this. And it was so funny. It was like a fucking Jimmy Carr routine. It was a stand-up DVD. Yeah. It was a special. It was Martin Luther's special. Well, he basically, he came to the conclusion that he felt he had kind of communicated directly with God.

1:03:09And basically the whole thing was like, you don't need all these other humans in between you and God. It's just like, he will just kind of, so you don't need the whole apparatus of the church. That's all, is it necessary? Sort of makes sense a little bit. well and I was brought up a Catholic right well many people many people thought so even when I was a kid I was like yeah the pageantry and the I liked it I enjoyed it yeah I don't know how I don't know what this Luther was basically just like no it's just me and God and then they were gonna they were gonna execute him but they didn't execute him in the end and then he became he basically became so famous that they sort of couldn't execute him yeah so yes there was an alternative faith available but I think there's everything would suggest that Henry VIII was not at all interested in this alternative phase.

1:03:52I don't think that was his motive, no. No, no. I bet she was fucking foxy. She sounds like she was quite... For a bloke to do all this. Quite a looker. I bet she was... She has a great attitude or something. Do you know what I mean? Attitude. I thought you were going to say something else then.

1:04:14Yeah, no, she was. Because of the attitude. Yeah. Incredible negotiator. absolutely unbelievable she'd be such a good football agent she was like no not good enough yeah no not good enough yeah yeah we'll do something we'll get another church yeah and he's like oh she said get another church what does that mean can we do that and then all these blokes were like yeah well we can but I mean it's quite a lot who was his guy Cromwell Thomas Cromwell initially it was Cardinal Wolsey and then he then he then kind of fell out of favour and then Cromwell replaced him right The thing that Cromwell did...

1:04:52Wasn't Cromwell up for it? Wasn't it Walsh who was like, no, you can't do that. And Cromwell was like, oh, I can see my way here. Cromwell basically sorted out the Anne Boleyn marriage. Right. And then when Henry then moved on and got fed up... Yeah. And to be fair... I bet he felt like a right tip. I think in the end... If Hilary Mantel's books are any guide, and I think they maybe actually perhaps are, in the end Cromwell fell foul of the Bolins who were actually a very powerful French family and he engineered the, having helped Anne Boleyn into power, or yes, I suppose it is power, he then helped to engineer her destruction and then having done that, he basically made enemies for life in the Bolins and then later on when Henry had moved on yet again after Jane Seymour had died.

1:05:50And Cromwell tried to arrange a marriage to somebody called Anne of Cleves, who basically Henry didn't think was pretty, essentially. And I think almost because of that, like Cromwell, and then he'd also, Cromwell was a lowborn man. So he didn't really have big alliances with the old English aristocracy, who were all Catholic, by the way, or the big families on the continent, like the Bolins. So actually once, he was a little bit like one of those guys in Trump's court, where all they've got is that Trump likes them. If he stops liking them, they're fucked. They're done. They need to leave town.

1:06:24Cromwell was a bit like that. Once Henry had turned his back, again, this is just what Hilary Mantel says. Once Henry had got fed up with him, Cromwell was basically fucked. Because he didn't have any other big powerful friends. Yeah, that was it. He only had one guy. He had one guy. See, listen, I love all this. I don't think anyone... I better do my facts, though. Anyone that wants to listen to a podcast from Simon and Jay from the Inbetweeners won't appreciate that. Yeah, yeah. I fucking love all that, man. That's so good. Because it just humanises stuff. Those books are also so good. Like, unbelievable.

1:06:53All the Thomas Cornwell books are amazing. When you're in primary school and you're learning about the Tudors and stuff, it can be really heavy. And it can be like, oh, he was just a king. And whenever he got fed up, he was just like off with his head. Yeah, I know. It's just a confusing barrage of random facts. What's fascinating about all those, like, even the Tudors and all that and stuff. Well, especially the Tudors, they came into power because they contested their right to the throne or whatever. How precarious. Yeah, it really is. And how they had to walk a line constantly. Because when you're growing up and you learn about old kings and queens, you're like, oh, well, they were just sort of like, oh, I'm the next person to God.

1:07:41Is my right by God to be? So you can't argue with that. No one believed that. No. No one believed that. There was like loads of powerful people that were just like, and very much like today. Yeah. They'll be like, we'll have you in if you, if you, if you're, if we'll have you in. Yeah. All the God stuff was added in afterwards. That was added in once you killed the other bloke and taken all his left. We'll vote for this president. We'll, we'll back this president because they're going to give us some tax relief and stuff like that. And it was the same with Kings and Queens. Absolutely. And they could be, and if they didn't fucking, if they took it too far, they would go it was absolutely if you go for the king you better not miss anyway look I better do my facts sorry Joe I could talk about that sort of nonsense for you forever I would recommend the various the three books beginning with Warfall can you text them to me yeah they're fantastic you bought one of them for me once actually did I actually fucking read it I really appreciate it I think you bought me the third one probably anyway so now Now let's and Boleyn to my fact.

1:08:47So we're bowling in. So that's not my fact yet. So my fact is about. Come on now. My fact is about the Boleyn. Edit that out, please. No, that's right. That's a bit of a problem. For me, it was like amble in. Oh, amble in. Oh, amble in. Oh, I see. So yes, my version doesn't make any sense. Now let's and walk in to my fact. Yeah. Right. Now let's amble in to my fact. Does that make it any better? It does make it. It was pun-believable. Thank you. It was pun-believable. It was pun-believable. I don't think I'm the originator of that, but thank you. No, it's fantastic. So don't get your amped and caught.

1:09:30So the bowling ground was the home of West Ham United Football Club. Yeah. Why is it called the bowling ground? And, well, it's because there was a house nearby known as Bowling Castle. Right. Although also known as Green Street House. So sort of... That's where the Green Street elite come from. That's right. And it was reported that Henry VIII had kind of wooed Anne Boleyn there. Like she'd been staying there and he'd gone there and tried to woo her. so and that's how we get to the Bowling Ground that's how we get to the Bowling Ground so yeah I'd always wondered that yeah well there you go so I mean I think it's probably one of those things where like maybe she wasn't really there or maybe I mean there's so many pubs in this country called the Royal Oak because they're like King Charles hitting an oak tree near here when he was on the run and you're like this guy must have done nothing but hiding oak trees because of the number of these pubs that there are but to be fair there aren't that many grounds called the bowling well there aren't any now no no no there's none there unfortunately no I think there's many a West Ham fan that that have that loved I always called it Upton Park Upton Park yeah it was a nice ground because it was really close to like there was like a market and then it was just sort of there like it felt like a local ground but it was it was it wasn't central London either played there once literally did a like five a side thing there once you did?

1:11:04yeah like a soccer sixes or something brilliant it was fun well thank you Joe for that fact there I'm all fact out I mean I am fact out I am fact out God knows what this episode is going to be because we just this has been a bit rambly to be honest yeah we're okay has it been alright we're okay absolutely yeah alright there's some there's some shit on the wall there we've had some Amazing penis chat. Yeah. Oh, that's all the stuff, yeah. Bigged up your bum. All the stuff that I'd like to keep in. Robbie Williams. Yeah, that's good. We hope that you've learned something or had a nice time. We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats, and heads detached.

1:11:48Nice. Nice. Boleyn wasn't. She was beheaded. She was beheaded. Yeah, of course she was. Very much so, yeah. Yeah, she was the second one. Beheaded. Come on now. Divorce beheaded. Divorce beheaded died. Yeah. Thank you. Divorce beheaded survived. Yeah. Not literally forever, but like... Can you name all the wives? I can't. Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn. Jane Seymour. Seymour. Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, Catherine Parr. Brilliant. Nicely done. And I forget which way around Howard and Parr are. I think it's Howard followed by Parr. It is. Catherine Howard was basically the daughter of the Duke of Norfolk, I think, who was one of these big English harrisons.

1:12:27So once Anne of Cleves was out of the picture, he basically levered his own well I suppose my sense would be that he was like oh have you met my daughter? and then she was also killed and then eventually it was Catherine Parr and I feel like maybe she well she didn't get killed so that's quite an achievement if you be married to Henry the Eighth. I feel like Cleves she was one of the beheaded ones right? Divorced. Oh she was divorced. She was divorced. Basically she was a bit unfair but she was rumoured to be a bit ugly. She was known as the mayor of Flanders. Right. Who was the last one to be who was the second from last?

1:13:06Catherine Howard. Divorced Beheaded. Divorced Beheaded. Divorced Beheaded. Yeah. It's the second to last one. Because he would have been a pussy-legged mess at that point. I think he was horrendous by that point. He must have just been pretty horrible. And I can't imagine she wanted to marry him anyway. And then she gets fucking beheaded for her troubles. Anyway. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or any kind of message you want to get me in to me and joe our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com our whatsapp number is 07822034330 and you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod and uh if i've garbled any of that head to the podcast description uh and it's written clearly there so uh thank you for listening that's the end we'll see you next week thanks guys bye

1:14:00Joe and James, Facts Up!

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