Can you call Attenborough a C***?

0:00In a world where AI is changing every role in every industry, knowing who actually has deep expertise matters more than ever. Upwork connects you with the highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records, so you can hire with confidence. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise, so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount. With Business Plus, you can access the top 1 % of talent on Upwork. AI-powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours.

0:36No endless searching required. Thousands of growing businesses already trust Upwork to hire highly skilled freelance professionals for everything from one-off projects to ongoing support. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork dot com. Hi, my name's Alistair Green. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stummings. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow.

1:13And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. that's mad it's like id and judy dench this might just be a podcast for you don't think so somehow every time i get a message saying loving the new podcast i'm like why why like have you ever bought a bed from ikea um they've sort of cornered they lock you in because they've got very specific measurements I've encountered a bit of this as well you buy a bed from Ikea you need to buy the mattress from Ikea and then if you want to change that mattress or I don't know you're stuck with the frame and Ikea's got you down you cannot get away from Ikea once you buy do you know there's people that that you can hire that will put your flat pack furniture together.

2:26I don't know why I would pay somebody to go through one of the most pleasurable activities I love it. still actually available to me. I absolutely love putting together ideas. What the fuck? I'm going to pay somebody to have a poo for me. I mean, what the fuck? You'd be fucking lucky if I'm paying you to put a flat pack together. Honestly, like... I have been left in a room and Claire's like, are you all right doing that all by yourself? And I go, yeah, I'll see you in about eight hours. Don't worry. And I stick the radio on and I just get to work. Lego is recreational. Rightly so. And this is Lego for adults.

3:05That's it. Lego for adults. I love it. But you can sort of, you know, you can take it to the next level because Ikea are quite good about, they give you your little spanner that you need or your little allen key that you need. I've got all that stuff already so I've got like sort of Allen key bits that I can put in my coolest drill and stuff like that and I'm just like fucking I just get away with it I absolutely love it yeah I love following her yeah and the instruction the Ikea instructions can we get an Ikea sponsorship we're not sponsored by Ikea by the way should probably mention but the it's amazing that we're not given how much we're doing the Ikea instructions oh my god I like the little Murray he's kind of going and then it's breaking and he's going and do you know there's a little can you describe that face for audio listeners yeah there's a little sort of a little fella with a sort of slightly sharp face is that fair he's sort of like he's got a sharp moon he's sort of like the Ikea equivalent of do you remember that little Fido Dido he's a bit like that yeah but also do you remember that little paper clip that would turn up Yeah, he is like that.

4:17Yeah, he is. He is that. You're quite right. He would tell you how to use your computer back in the day where, when computers were really new, you had to have this little cartoon paperclip that would go, press the start, press the little start button and you'll get all your applications up. That's right. The home computer, the birth of the computer. And I'm interested in how, when no words are used, It doesn't matter what your native tongue is, you can understand these instructions. And that is interesting. They're managing to convey, you know, sort of, if this happens, do not do this, but do this without using any words.

4:57And I think that is, you know, that's really interesting. Do you think that people tune in to two blokes off the Inbetweeners to hear them talk about IKEA? I certainly hope so. This is the problem. I don't know what they... I love this sort of chat. I will ask you this, Joe. What have you been doing with your trainers? Is this my trainers again? Are they starting to look a little bit... Like, what is it about you? The thing, okay, all I will say is that I do wear my shoes. I don't, I mean, shoes are... But what are you doing? They are on the ground. And it's like trying to keep your car tyres in good condition.

5:35They get knackered really quickly, mate. They do. And I'm already worried that I am... I suppose the problem is I should have more than one pair of shoes. And I thought I did, but then it turned out that my trainers probably were a bit beyond the pale. I mean, they were about seven or eight years old. Do you know what you should get? You should get a pair of Converse. Okay. Because the more knackered they get, the more cool they look, right? That's what I thought was happening with the trainers I started off this podcast with. But you've got really posh Japanese sort of trainers. And I'm wearing them everywhere, aren't I?

6:14Yeah. And I'm getting knackered. Do you know what? Someone told me when I was young, they said, you can always judge someone by their shoes. I actually have heard this as well. And I've benefited from it because when I first met Hannah, I just happened to be wearing. She was just barefoot. I happened to wear a really expensive pair of shoes which I'd called churches oh yeah no I remember your churches and Hannah was very impressed by them yeah I was as well I remember when you bought those this is a guy who's going places I remember when you bought those churches because Bond we haven't spoken about Bond for a couple of weeks okay there's a reference somewhere somewhere in Bond law I don't know if it's in the books or if it's in the films or something.

7:08Drinks a martini, drives an Aston Martin. He gets his shoes from churches. Yeah, yeah. He gets his suits from Savile Row. Yeah. He gets his shoes from churches. And I remember when you said, because I was like, fucking hell, they're posh shoes. Yeah. You're like, yeah, they're churches, mate. And they are, they are, you know, they are. I didn't want to buy them. I bought them. They're not cheap, these shoes. I think they cost$500. I've never even heard of them. They're English brogues. This pair of shoes cost£500. That was a lot of money, particularly at the time. Yeah. I was definitely one of the situations where I bought them out of embarrassment.

7:44I thought they might be about£200 and I wandered over to them. I think it was just as we were starting the third series or something like that. It was still a lot of money for me. We weren't on£500 pair of shoes money. No, I didn't really have£500 to spend on a pair of shoes. but um i didn't fucking good investment in the end didn't it paid off didn't it there you go and i do think that i feel that i probably i know i certainly could not have afforded a savile row suit at the time no because that's thousands and thousands of pounds but i couldn't even tell you i'd love a but at a stretch i could just about get myself these shoes just sneak those in and the budget there it's like you're having a little taste of like the well the bond level right just a little and not really something that i can match up to in other areas but in this one it's your it's your whole theory again yeah that holds true about men just dressing yes for the jobs and the people that they wish they were yeah absolutely that's absolutely right it's it's um so you were buying those shoes you thought you were an international sexy spy yeah all male fashion and Hannah fell for it she did she thought here's a guy who's and then you know you've had a baby with her and gutted Hannah you know yeah she got jokes on you she got completely the wrong idea yeah you fooled her good for you yeah I was like a spy in as much as I was lying to her Joe and James Joe and James no Joe and James Joe and James is fucked up again.

9:26Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, fucked up! Right, here we are. It's us, it's me and Joe. Joe and James, fucked up. That's the name of this podcast. Each week we bring one another a fact that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like us to fact check that you can't be arsed to research yourself in a segment that we're calling Fact Check. We are also calling Fact Check. Sorry. Oh, no. Spoil it a little bit there. You didn't spoil it. So if you do want to send your facts, our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com.

10:07Our WhatsApp is 07822 034 330. Our socials, Instagram, TikTok, and all that nonsense is at joeandjamespod. and you can watch our full episodes on YouTube search for Joe and James Fact Up. I dare to ask, what's happening with the Spotify? Yep, yep. So there's some Spotify videos up on there. We're still in the same... I think we're drip feeding them. I'm not in charge of that side of things. Right. I can't say for sure. I think we'll have some more coming up there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. But it doesn't matter as well because... They're all on YouTube. Do people watch stuff like that? Well, I don't want to say that.

10:47I was about to say, do people watch stuff on Spotify, but I don't want to bite the hands that feed me. No, of course they do. We've not got our fingers on the knob of youth, have we? No, we haven't. That's good. That's part of it. I always think that the stage of life that I'm in, I kind of term it post-youth. I don't think I'm old. I don't think I'd be crazy. And it kind of annoys me, there's a bit of a trope of men who are about my age being like, oh God, I'm so old. And I'm like, well, all right. But it's a bit boring after a while. You're not old. You're not 90. I've just sort of lent into.

11:24I'm pretty comfortable being 42. Yeah, and I think we've always, me, you, and Blake and Bird, we've never been party animals. No. Or, I don't know, man. We were never excited about being young. Even when we were in our 20s, we were like and we were making like we'd go to where were we making that first film where was it Magaluf Magaluf and we shot something in Malia as well Mallorca we went to Mallorca right and it was like oh we're making it in Magaluf and then Bird would be like oh I've arranged we're going to go to a vineyard at the weekend and stuff like that and we were like fucking brilliant yeah amazing yeah great yeah we've always been that sort of completely like person already like before we were like while we were 23 or whatever in a world where AI is changing every role in every industry knowing who actually has deep expertise matters more than ever Upwork connects you with the highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records so you can hire with confidence Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount.

12:53With Business Plus, you can access the top 1 % of talent on Upwork. AI-powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours. No endless searching required. Thousands of growing businesses already trust Upwork to hire highly skilled freelance professionals for everything from one-off projects to ongoing support. It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork.com. Hi, my name's Alistair Green.

13:30Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. and all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't think so somehow. Every time I get a message saying, I'm loving the new podcast, I'm like, why? Why? I like... Oh, dear.

14:15bird like simon bird when simon bird who's super bright right he's super intelligent simon bird yeah really really clever boy and um and he when we were doing when we were doing the first series of the in-betweeners he he'd spent a few years at college at that point at university at that point and then the in-betweeners took off and And Simon Bird's really great. And obviously what he's doing is what he should be doing. Like he's really good at it. But he is very well educated. Cambridge. And he was, what was he doing? English philosophy or something like that. Was that right? He was doing a PhD in, well, something in the kind of cultural criticism area.

15:06Sort of like basically English literature. Right. essentially but he was um but he's super bright like he's super intelligent and he's like and he's also very very funny um so he had options bird like he had he had the world at one point he could have gone whatever direction he wanted to go to yeah and um people like him whatever they decide to do they'll be like super successful like because i know he's doing a lot of directing at the moment yeah i'd love to work with birds with him as my director because i just think his instincts and he's and he gets you and his knowledge i think i would just go if he said to me i think you should do it like this i go yeah no i'll do it like that yeah um but he he was this close and i'm for people listening i'm told i'm doing that thing where i'm holding my thumb with my finger quite close together to getting his doctorate yeah um but he sort of dropped out and he was like oh do you know what i think this in between this thing is taking off and i might just sort of pursue that yeah by love i would have loved if he'd have got that doctorate and then we were doing the film and stuff like that and the credits come up and it said dr simon but it would have been amazing it would have been brilliant it would have been absolutely Reverend Joe Thomas.

16:26But just finishing your doctorate just for that joke alone, I think would have been well worth it. I imagine there's people out there with PhDs who think they got less out of it than that. I think this is actually genuine. I think the proportion... Let me get this right. The proportion of unemployed people with PhDs is higher than the... proportion of employed people with PhDs. Right. There's more people, there's more PhD. So you got all the unemployed people and you got all the employed people and you said, what percentage of both groups have got PhDs, there would be a higher proportion in the unemployed group?

17:12You put yourself in a weird position really, didn't you? Because it's like, I suppose it's like me and you in that there are genuinely, you know if i wanted to like i could be acting every week maybe why are you laughing why is that funny no no no but but i i won't get offered those roles because it's like oh it's a scene in a tv it's just one scene in in this tv show oh you're trying to be over overqualified so So I'm sort of overqualified for that, but underqualified for doing most other things. So you find yourself in this sort of limbo of like, I don't know, people with PhDs, they're not going to, I don't know, like I don't want to be derogatory, but they're not going to wash your car.

18:10But also there's only so many jobs for someone with your qualifications. and I find myself in that situation where I'm not going to I'm not going to say two lines in EastEnders for example but the kind of work that I do I'm not big enough or good enough to do it or you know or have the experience to sort of I mean I did a film a couple of years ago I did a film that I starred in and even when I was doing it and it was a British film and stuff. And it wasn't like a big film or anything. But even when I was doing it, I was like, I don't think I'm the guy to carry a film. I don't think I'm the star of the film.

19:02I think I'm the star's mate who's quite funny. Like that's where I can sort of shine. I don't think you could put a film on my shoulders. I'm one of four mates, I think. That's what I think. I'm yeah no I know I know what you mean I did I did the festival remember that yeah and I was basically like where are the other three when are they when are they getting here and it was a bit weird having to be like oh is it just it was like playing five a side and your team hasn't turned up and you're like oh god can the ref play yeah I mean that was what was that I've heard I've heard it was awful to make that film not awful in the sense that it was really difficult to make obviously also brilliant other actors in it i should say like amazing but like yeah it's um because you shot at the week at a week you spent a weekend at a festival is that right we shot yeah we shot a best of all and also at leeds the best of all stuff was really stressful because it doesn't work unless you can like unless you've got like a budget of 50 million pounds where you can set up a festival yeah and go right all these people are extras.

20:14Yeah. Whereas what you guys were trying to do was to just piggyback an actual festival that was going on and make a fucking film around that. We were trying to get the crowd to do acting at Leeds. Yeah. I had to... They sent me out on stage to try and... It was actually too far. I wasn't... It was me and a guy called James Gill, who's a friend of Ian, very nice man, a promoter and a stand-up. And we went out and we were so terrified. Like we were just like, I don't want to, please don't go out there. Please don't make me go out there. I just don't want to do it. No, but obviously you said yes because you...

20:56Of course I said yeah because I've famously, I'm not... You've never said no. The boy that never said no. Was everyone a no. Yeah, it's amazing I'm not... I might want a children's book about that. It's like the opposite of the boy who cried wolf. The boy, the boy who never said no. and what situations he got into yeah but yeah it was but making films is stressful it is sort of you know there's more stressful at the end of the day just trying to make a fucking film it's not life or death but when you're in that bubble and you're like fucking hell we've got to get this done otherwise we're not going to have anything to show the people that have put money into this film that we've got a product And they told me they needed this shot of the crowd all doing this particular hand movement.

21:46Right. Which was something to do with, it was like the DJ's signature move or something. They had to do that or something. Right. And it was my job to go out and get them to do it. Yeah. You're not a hype man, are you, Joe? I'm not really a hype man, am I? No. Right, everyone on this side. You're more. I've only got one idea for hype, which is, right, I'm going to draw an imaginary line down the middle of the crowd. Yeah. And I want everyone on this side to go, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. And I want everyone on this side to go, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee.

22:14All the ladies now. All the ladies now. Yeah. Oh, what about the guys? Can you do better than that? Yeah. That's the only idea I've got is they do it. And I'm like, that was absolutely pathetic. You can do better than that, Leeds. That's another thing I hate. Yeah. So the thing is - That's another thing. Let me say, to conclude, basically. they didn't do it they were all chanting boner at me right of course yes but that was better than I thought it might have been yeah because the producer specifically said like this was a a real option if what happens is that they just start chucking bottles of piss at you we can use that then you're allowed to come off right but also we can use that I thought they were going I thought they were going we can use that who was the in between us they would have they would have used that oh of course yeah so I went out they didn't do what I wanted they were all chanting boner The unlucky thing is...

23:06I thought, actually, that's probably a win. Is that if you were on stage and they handed you a big novelty check, you would have known what to say in that situation. Exactly. Can I take this check away? Obviously not in my pocket. Yeah, see, you had that, ironically, in the pocket. It was already ready to go. Yeah, I did that in my... Yeah. Right, JT. Yeah. I do need to present a fact because I didn't do one in the last episode. No, as we've discussed, you refrained from doing a fact because it was Lent. I did. I abstained from... You abstained, exactly. Fact-checking. But this week, we are doing a fact about trees.

23:46We are indeed. Because we did mention recently about those two... Yes. Those two nutters that thought it would be really funny to cut down a really old tree. which like by the way like if you've seen Don't Fuck With Cats on Netflix like I don't I don't have an opinion about cats but if I saw someone being cruel to a cat I'd be like well man you're not right and it's the same with trees and I think there is a thing in us like if a tree is hundreds and hundreds of years old you're like well don't chop that down keep that going No. So it did... It was a poor decision by those two chaps, I think. They were never going to get anyone on their side.

24:34No, I don't... They were never going to get anyone going, yeah, fuck the system. Yeah. Well, that was the thing because it had the air of a kind of revolutionary act. It was a bit sort of anarchist, wasn't it? It was a bit anarchist. On the whole, sometimes I'm like, yeah, I'm on board. Yeah, stick it to the man. Yeah, if you put like a... I don't think you... Maybe you probably... You know, you shouldn't put a brick through the window of a bank. But if you did, there would be some people who are like, yeah, fuck the system. Whereas this tree was kind of something that was free to look out for everyone.

25:06The tree is the system that I want to be involved in. I can get on board with the tree. I'd like to think if I was in Boston in the 1700s, I'd be chucking tea in the river, in the sea or whatever. I was going to suggest that what might be fun is, I don't know if you've got maybe other suggestions of things that would sit in that category of like don't fuck with cats, don't fuck with trees. Is there anything for you? Yeah. Anything else? Well, this is something. Yeah. Thank you, Lily Mae, Queen Lily Mae. That's something that I genuinely like to know because I'm always in danger of pissing people off.

25:38So if you could teach me specifically. Things that we can all do. And Joe a little bit. What shouldn't we ever, you know, slag off? Yeah. What shouldn't we ever touch? Yeah. Just to keep us safe. I've got one. Go on. I don't think anyone should ever beat up Lord David Attenborough. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. Probably he's a lord, isn't he? Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Yeah. I've promoted him further. Mate, you laid a finger on that man. Leave Attenborough alone. You'll never come in back. Leave Attenborough alone. Like, imagine, like, two drunk estate agents that have just come back from a night out and they see David Attenborough in the park, walking through the park, and he goes, oh, it's fucking Attenborough.

26:20and they're holding the phone and going, you would not come back from that. Tell you what? I'm sure you could have a laugh with him. You could put a bit of banter or something. I'm sure you could have a... Listen, Amber is no... Amber, I'm sure he's a laugh, but... He's no, you know, he's been in the mill. He's been through the mill. Yeah. What was that thing you were telling me the other day? Was it on the podcast? Well, he commissioned Monty Python. No, no. Yeah, he's a legend. He used to go out... But didn't he get typhoid or something when he was... he used to go one thing he did was he used to go out and get zoological specimens when he was a little boy and they were just things that he'd found and then he'd sell them to the zoological museum I'm mangling this story there was a zoological museum and he would go and get stuff and he'd sell it to the museum and he'd go oh it's a rare plant and it was always just stuff he'd found like in the garden of the museum someone was telling me I feel like it was you yeah someone was telling me like because Attenborough's he's been around for a long time.

27:20He's been around, yeah. That's going to devastate. I know we never talk about it as a society. I know. But we've not got long until that bombshell drops on all of us. And that is going to ruin. I know. Someone was telling me about how he would go on those first expeditions as a young man in the early days, making these documentaries and stuff. It would be by boat more often than not. and I think he got like typhoid and he had all kinds of shit thrown at him but he was fucking, he wore it. He was just like, yeah, this is part of the job. He's nails, mate. He's not, yeah, he's tough, tough as old boots is Attenborough.

28:00Okay, so that's one. But yeah, you can't have a go on Attenborough. You can't have a go on Attenborough either. Well, I mean, you know, it's consensual. Then fine. but i don't think there are things that you cannot touch that sycamore gap tree was one of them those two guys thought it'd be a good idea was it two of them it was two of them it was two i just don't know i reckon they had help from other people as well that they've not been caught up with oh wow um but we were talking about that so we decided to do facts about trees And I do have some interesting facts that I genuinely find interesting that I don't know whether it's entertaining or not.

28:47I've done my usual thing where I've felt like one fact wasn't good enough. So I've done a bit more little work there and tried to group together a few facts. So fact number one, a single tree can secretly be an entire forest. There is a tree in Utah called Pando, the Pando tree. And it looks like many trees. It looks like a forest, but it's actually one organism. Every trunk shares the same root system and DNA. So it's one organism. That is extraordinary, isn't it? And it's a forest. It weighs over 6 million tons, making it one of the heaviest living things on Earth. and I think actually that one of the heaviest living I suppose what you class as one entity is a mushroom is a fungus I think because it's just one huge yeah one huge network of mushrooms they're all connected and that's where the sort of the last of us that's the last of us thing isn't it it was funny the last of us because it was as though there was a lot of talk funguses and mushrooms became they had a bit of a moment there was a thing where people were like the wood wide web and things like this and the idea that wood wide web came up in my research actually yeah I always thought it was as though the it was as though the last of us was saying be careful before we get before we invest fully before we get carried away with this this could happen.

30:34There is a dark side as well. It was like they were sort of saying, let's just sound a warning note about all this. A hypothetical sort of dark side. Yeah, before we get completely into bed with these funguses, let's just... Here's another fact for you. Word of word. Yeah. Again, I've sort of tried to sexify it a little bit to make it more interesting. I've just written here, trees talk to each other now. Obviously, they don't. Don't just sit there and have a chin-walk. Are you talking about the... It's not like Lord of the Rings. The Ent moot. We have decided you are not orcs. It's not that. But through underground fungal networks, sometimes called the Wood Wide Web, trees can send nutrients to sick neighbours.

31:28That's cool. So if there's a couple of trees in the forest, and they're like, oh, Christ, we better help those guys out. They do that. That's cool. They warn each other about insect attacks. Insect attacks? Yeah. Again, it's not, they're not doing it in a way where they go, well, mate, you better watch out. So it's signals that they send through these networks. But they also have a little bit of a sort of, I suppose there's a, I'm trying not to Humotise them So much To make my facts Sound more interesting Yeah But they do Favour Their own offspring Over unrelated trees Oh my god So they look after their own Something that's come from From their seed They'll prioritise those If they are going to send Nutrients and stuff To other trees They will They'll prioritise that Over those That's so They can recognise their own children in whatever way children are, in whatever concept that is to trees.

32:39Oh, that's manifest in true world. Some trees are older than civilisation. That is, yeah. I have seen some stuff about really old trees. There's some old trees. There is the bristlecone pine tree, and they're over 4 ,800 years old. They're alive before the pyramids. They were alive before written language, before writing was a concept. They are amazing, aren't they? And just a quick one, just to chuck one in at the end there. Trees do not have a fixed lifespan. They don't die of old age. They don't get old and die. It's usually because of fire or disease or humans. Well, a couple of absolute lads.

33:29who are going to write their names into history. A couple of sea... A couple of tree surgeons. Tree surgeons! That obviously didn't take the Hippocratic Oath. Pretty good, actually. There you go. Pretty good. Well, that was actually... You spoke with a lot... A little medley of facts there about trees. You spoke with a lot of reverence there about trees, and I wish that somebody like you could have just had a little word to those two fellas. I would have before smacked their heads together yeah come on guys come on guys these have been these are older than yeah and it's also true that the some of these record breaking trees are the oldest and the tallest how old was the sycamore tree Queen Lily May let me have a little quick I think it's like pre-Hadrian's Ball or something daft like that I've seen stuff about trees being 4 ,000 5 ,000 years old yeah and they and they keep the location secret they don't want people visiting yeah that's true yeah do you want to know something really boring about me that probably shouldn't be put in an entertainment podcast yeah one of my i suppose bucket list one of my things that i would genuinely be really excited about and really interested in experiencing is going to see one of those like american redwood trees they're amazing that are like the trunks are like twice the size of a bus or something like that like I would just be able to see that in my own eyes I would just I'd absolutely love that I'd find that genuinely really really exciting and I don't know what that says about me I'm not sure they are glorious those where are they Oregon or something like that I think I could have I've had opportunities to go and do it I should have done it FYI the sycamore gap tree aged between 100 and 120 years old oh it's not even that old I don't know what we're kicking up a fuss about yeah not even that old yeah fell it chop it down fell that tree let's do a quick little fact check if anyone's still listening to this podcast it is time for fact check where we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of and then we're going to have a good little think during the ad break there and come back and let you know how true it feels to us.

35:56It comes from James H who has emailed to say, hey lads, it's two weeks in a row that we've, that the... Hey lads, yeah. That's how we should be. Absolutely. How we should be addressed. I'm quite partial to a Lucas Aid every now and again. Yeah, me too. No harm in that. I'm really into Lucas Aid ice kick at the moment. I buy it I get them off of Amazon I buy 24 bottles in a go I keep them in the fridge and they're nice and cool Look at that ice kick Yeah it's a really good flavour Do you like a cloudy lemonade? Yeah You'd love this then Okay that's nice Oh they're like the sport ones Yeah Luke says sport They're flat It's flat Yeah Yeah okay So this was the thing This is quite old in between us lore Yeah Where when Before we'd even started shooting And we were doing rehearsals we were let into this world of sort of like is there anything that you need there's people around that can get all that stuff for you and one afternoon during rehearsals I said can I get a Lucozade can I get a Lucozade sport if it's just a normal Lucozade a fizzy Lucozade don't worry about it I'm not interested and I described it as it needs to be a Lucozade with the nipple cap yeah and that became a little thing on the in-betweeners set for a little while where james demands lucas and i was trying to describe what i meant by not because i don't think i said lucas a sport i don't think i was privy to like the knowledge that lucas a sport was different so it's called a nipple cap i don't know it's very freudian isn't it so you're calling it a nipple cap i don't know if it is like that no that's the best way i could describe the okay well that's very freudian as well that that was the best way it's as if you were like it's not those like it's not got a screw lid no it's a very it's an evocative and correct description it is a baby's bottle the the lubezade sport bottles they are it wasn't your fault they i was trying i was trying to they had an immature reaction to what was basically a not more a more than adequate description yeah you did at times test to see what you could get but i was just making far like the farce of working on tv and film and just being like this is mental that you're oh fine okay well maybe this is so i wasn't doing it to be okay no no i think i was just it was just yeah yes it was you were satirizing how easy it is experiment in my head but i was obsessed with how cushy the working space, as an actor by the way, not as anyone else on a film set.

38:48Anyone else is fucking awful. As an actor like it is like there was a little period in my life I was like how far can this go? Yeah. How far can we take this? There's a little bit in me there's like I've had it since school and it's not a great thing to have in you at all whatsoever of just being just being like how far can i go until i get into trouble in some ways it's sort of um it's been a benefit in that i think it's shaped my career and especially in comedy and stuff like that because in comedy like it is all about how far you can go until you can get into trouble and i do find the fun in that i do find it exciting but luckily enough it's never been anything sort of serious too serious that has either cost me my life or it strikes it strikes me that people who've who've gone insane often are people who don't have the limits that other people normally have so i have something about howard hughes the the millionaire or i suppose nowadays he'd be a maybe even a billionaire but certainly a a millionaire, probably a multimillionaire back then, who got incredibly bad OCD.

40:00But he got OCD in a way that... See, the plane guy. Plane guy, yeah. There's a film about him with Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio. The Avatar. Yeah. The Aviator. The Aviator. Yeah, exactly. We're good. Yeah, we're good. We're fine. We're fine. But he had so much money that he was able to indulge. We're all about the facts on this podcast. Like somebody said... This is probably apocryphal, but I think I'm sure it was this kind of area that he once... he once didn't want to move out of a hotel room for some reason, I think because he'd convinced he would have. I think the Simpsons did an episode.

40:36All right. So he bought the entire hotel. I think Mr. Burns didn't leave his room or something. He went mad. He was an eccentric billionaire that went mad and let all his nails grow and stuff and didn't come out of a hotel room. So if you can afford to get a plate of food and say, oh I'm worried it's got some minute contamination throw the entire thing away make me another one now I'm worried about this one throw the entire thing away make me another one I'm still not happy throw the entire thing away most people are going to run up against their own financial limitations in the end and that wouldn't it doesn't mean that they won't get OCD but it does mean that they would presumably at that point be slightly more likely to think I've got a bit of a problem here I need to get treated but like if your solution is just I've got so much money that I can just have really crippling OCD then you can probably go further down the line towards genuine insanity than people who do not have to confront it yeah and and that's another reason why i'm not why me having a bottomless pit of money would be really bad because i don't think it's good for anyone because i do just do stuff to see what happens we were on holiday um with claire's family and we went shopping one afternoon picking up some t-shirts and stuff like that we were in america we're like you know when you go to america it's like oh fucking hell everything's cheap everything's like we've got to stock up now so we can take you all home and i watched what my father-in-law was buying and i saw him buy a specific t-shirt and then we were going out for dinner later that evening and i saw him put on the t-shirt and i went oh hang on one second i need to go back and just grab a jumper and this was in california it was like why is he buying why is he going back to get a jumper well i quickly did was change my t-shirt to the exact same because i saw what t-shirt he was buying i bought the same one without him knowing and then um i had a zip up hoodie and then we went out for dinner okay so you're okay and then we were we haven't explained this well enough no i get it we were walking around that evening and then at one point i went um oh i'm getting a bit warm so i unzipped my hoodie and just sort of just followed him around wearing the exact same t-shirt as him.

42:49And by the way, he's not a bloke that enjoys those sort of jokes. No. He doesn't appreciate those sort of things. But just for my own amusement. Yeah. Just for me only. Like I just thought that'd be really funny and I know it would really annoy him. I like that it's almost like you've also kind of boxed yourself in as well because as you say, it is warm. You haven't got another t-shirt. Yeah, no. You've kind of bound yourself to the mast. I suffered for my arm. Yeah, yeah. You did. I was sweating. I was like, but this will pay off. Yeah. This will be brilliant. And I did. Anyway, James H says, I'm quite partial to a Leucoside every now and again.

43:28And my dad has always told me that Leucoside is, or was, as he's quite old, a medicinal drink. Something you'd have when you're feeling under the weather. I drink it regardless. And I've always thought of it as more of an energy drink than something I'd have when I wasn't feeling well. I need to know if this is true and I thought who better to ask than the fact connoisseurs themselves Joe and James also what flavour is red Lucozade supposed to be I need answers well let's go to a quick little break and we'll talk even more about Lucozade after that I like this question this is a good one break time break time it's the time of the day when we take a break from what we were doing before.

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46:04During the break there, because I absolutely loved this message from James H, I said I was champing at the bit and then we were discussing whether it's champing or chomping and I've never heard anyone say either champing or chomping at the bit without there being a discussion afterwards as to whether it's champing or chomping. That is funny. I've just looked it up if that's helpful. Go on, Queen Lily May. I bet it's going to say both are acceptable. Basically, champing is the traditional language so it started out as champing and that kind of is um impatience restlessness like a horse eager to run it says here but champing soon became chomping because it kind of has a similar meaning and it sounds similar and that's just what we now use but originally it was champing what's a bit is that the thing that you put in the horse's mouth things in their mouth yeah yeah i always see those things and i think i bet they're fucking irritating they don't look comfortable do they no No.

47:04Apparently they're fine with it. Apparently they don't give a fuck. But you can't ask a horse. You can't go, do you care about this piece of... Well, they champ at it. I mean, does that mean, do they like the champing? It comes down to whether they like champing or not, or chomping. Before the break, we were just fact-checking on behalf of James H., who asked us, is Lucozade medicinal? And what flavour is the original red? Right, so now, first of all, Lucozade is one of those ancient brands I'm going to go 1800s. I would say it's true. There was always an old bottle of Lucozade at my gran's house.

47:41It was a glass bottle with the little like knobbly bits from the top. Now I don't, I'm going to take a bit of offense because James H said, my dad has always said that Lucozade is, and then he put in brackets, or was, he's quite old, a medicinal drink. So you're offended on behalf of the dad because he's been a bit rude to his dad, saying he's old. Well, if his dad's old, then I don't know what I am. Because when I was a kid and I had to take a day off school, primary school or something like that because I wasn't feeling very well, my mum would buy me a bottle of Lucas. Same here. And it was one of the great joys of being sick home from school.

48:25Yeah, watching Trisha. And I didn't know. I don't know what that says about our age. We're not that old. No. But first of all, I do think it does come from those. I think Coca-Cola was the same. Dr. Pepper certainly was. Ketchup as well. Ketchup, yeah. One of those sort of like gather round. I'll show you a cure-all. You're feeling unwell? You're feeling tired? Yeah. Well, I can help you out, sir. Yeah. That sort of thing. Travelling salesman. Yeah. Sort of Americana. sort of thing. Something of the snake oil. I do think Lucozade is British and I do think it was classed as a medicinal drink. And I will tell you this.

49:13There was a boy at my school who was diabetic and he used to have to have Lucozade tablets every once in a while. And I've never seen them. I haven't seen them for about 20 years. I haven't seen them for a while. But they were sort of Lucozade tablets with what I assume is glucose? I imagine it's a kind of abbreviation of glucosade. Right, there we go. Because it's glucose. It's basically sugar. So if you're nauseous and you've got an upset stomach and you can't keep down regular food, but you need to get some kind of energy, have this. It's got sugar in it. If you're looking for a bit of pep.

49:53Pep. Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper. Pepsi. Pepsi, yes. All these sort of antiquated phrases. It's unbelievable. This is like the Da Vinci Code or something. It's absolutely amazing. Running through history. The scales are falling from our eyes. And now we see where power is really held. That's why Buffett is a shareholder of Coca-Cola. It all makes sense all of a sudden. The earth's flat. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you think they built those fucking pyramids, you fucking sheep? Yeah. Yeah. Again, we are going into Rogan territory and I don't want to step on that guy's toes because he just seems quite angry and would beat me up probably.

50:36But it would, I would, yeah, it's definitely, I think it started off as a medicinal thing. And I think that there still might be, I wouldn't say it was medicine, but there still might be some actual benefits to Lucozade. I think so. With energy and, you know, I wouldn't try and, I wouldn't say if you've got cancer or something, I wouldn't say like drink a load of Lucozade, you'll be all right. But with those little common ailments, I genuinely think that Lugazade could possibly help. I think that it's just that it's an easily digestible form of sugar, primarily. And maybe electrolytes, which I think is just...

51:30Well, that's Lugazade's spilt. That is what Lugazade's spilt is, because it's not fizzy. and I think they claim to be sugar-free but it is electrolytes. So sodium, is that right? Electrolytes is basically the stuff that you lose if you sweat or you urinate. So if you're sweating with sport, you lose all your kind of body salts and stuff, don't you? So if you want to get water to move around your body quicker, you need to have a bit of salt in your body to be able to take that around the bloodstream. I'm talking to someone that doesn't know a fucking thing that they're talking about but that's where electrolytes come in which I think is sodium I think that's what they've rebranded electrolytes I might be completely wrong I think it's sort of is it just like salt and sugar dissolved in water essentially is that electrolytes but I am going to go fact I'm going to go so fact it hurts with that one Yeah.

52:32But we haven't actually. Because I've heard a similar thing and that's all you need for a fact. I grew up hearing the same thing. So that makes it a fact. It's like carrots. You know, carrots make your eyes better. It was only recently, I think literally with the last couple of days, where that was propaganda because during rationing, there was rations on like coffee and sugar and butter and all the stuff that we need to have a good life and enjoy ourselves in life yeah but you could eat as many fucking vegetables as you like there wasn't a ration on vegetables during during the second world war so it was like oh you're made up though and there'd be the blitz and all the lights would go out and stuff like that so be like eat more vegetables and that will you know that will help you see in the dark oh okay so it's just a there's like those you know posters those wartime posters of like a tommy in the trenches and he'd be like he needs his carrots to be able to see in the dark and stuff like that and you'd have like young boys and girls going oh i want to be just like them but i don't think there's any actual truth that carrots will make your eyesight better at all it was just sort of it was like go to work on an egg which i'm obsessed about although yes although in the long run probably vegetables in general are still good are good for you it's like the it's like the government being your mum and dad it is exactly that and instead of you going why why do i have to do this they're just going well make your eyesight better i don't know fucking just eat it's good for you just because kids don't i've got two kids and they don't trust me they will not fucking trust me at all whatsoever they need a reason for everything like if i go i'll like that broccoli is good for you like why what what what in what way is it good for you i have to come up with something i know it's good for you i don't actually know why it's good for you yeah if you just eat it it will benefit you can you not just trust me on this one and they'll go no i'm not going to trust you i need some sort of story or fable to sort of get me get me through this sort of eating broccoli my daughter has just started saying why to everything they do they need to know why it's absolutely maddening yeah it also just makes me realize i don't know anything like trying to when she she always wants to listen to peppa pig in the car and i have to connect my phone to the to the bluetooth in the car and she wants to know why the phone isn't on yet if we're in a tunnel and i just can't explain it i don't i don't have the language to explain what's happening.

55:14I'm literally sort of saying there's something in the sky that the phone needs to go up and get to and then that will bring the music down out of the sky. Back in my day, there was always the threat of the slap.

55:33So you just... That was a bit of a... No, but do you know what I mean? You'd just be a bit more obedient. You'd just be like, right, I'll get on with it. I'll crack on. What flavour is red Lucozade? I don't know what red Lucozade is. I don't think it's any flavour. I do know what he's talking about, though, because you can also get orange fizzy Lucozade, which I would prefer to the red Lucozade. I just thought he meant... But that red one, again, like... That's old school as well, right? I don't know if I'm just misremembering, but yeah, Lucozade was a glass bottle for me in the 90s. Yeah. It was a glass bottle with little...

56:11And you could give it back and get like two pence or something. Yeah. I have quite nostalgic memories of that Lucozade bottle. I thought when he said red, I just thought he meant orange. No, it's the one with the red cap. No, there is an orange Lucozade. It's that sort of... Oh, it's orange flavour. I know what you mean. Yes. But there's that original Lucozade. It's non-flavoured. It has a nice taste. It tastes... Yeah. It sort of tastes of its colour somehow. Yeah. it's got the red cap on it and it's a it's a ambiguous color well it's a bit like saying what flavor is coca-cola it's not really yeah i suppose when it comes down to it it's sort of caramel flavor is it there's caramel asses something called caramel yeah syrup um but red lucas aid can't help you out i can't i can't help out the best i can come up with there is It's red flavour.

57:00It's red flavour. It's red flavour. And it's a... It's like when I get Pringles. I either want green Pringles or blue Pringles. I don't say... I can't bring myself to say... What is it? Sour cream. Sour cream and onion. Yeah. It's too much. I'll just say green. Yeah. What Pringles do you want? Green. Give me green Pringles. Yeah. I'm not saying all that. But there is definitely... There is definitely, definitely, definitely. Yeah. Before even Queen Lily May gives her ruling. There is definitely roots of leukazade being a medicinal, a tonic, some sort of tonic. Fact. Fact. Okay. Go on. So, its roots is with glucoside, which is how it was originally invented, as you mentioned.

57:48Yes. Yes. And it was invented in, let me double check that date, actually, in 1927. Oh, it's much later than I thought it was going to be. but carry on okay so 99 years ago fair play yeah good it was sold as a health drink originally for kids and basically the health benefit of it was the kids who were nil by mouth I believe the phrase was so couldn't eat or drink or whatever they were given glucoside as their medicine I was nil by mouth once when I was a kid were you getting glucoside No, I had smash. Really watery smash. Smash potato. Smash? Yeah. I'd had stitches put in my mouth. I'd cut my gum up.

58:41I'd had an accident. Oh, God. Like the whole of my gum, I'd had like these stitches put in my gum. And for a couple of weeks, I couldn't like really eat solid food. Really watery smash. I had sort of quite watered down smash potato. I loved it. I still love it to this day. I love smash. Well, as an alternative to Smash, Glucosade was used. And that's how it has its health associations. And it was also created by a chemist from Newcastle. So that's where it comes from. It was then later, I think in the 80s, rebranded. That's right. For sports and stuff like that. And that's now why we have sports associations with it.

59:16Do you know what? I've actually gone down a little Wikipedia rabbit hole. And I've been on the Glucosade Wikipedia page and read all that in the past. Still feeling familiar. There was an advert with John Barnes when I was a kid. where he used to say, it gets to your thirst fast. Right. It was, he'd come out from playing football and he was all like, he was knackered to face him. Well, he's the England man. He was knackered. He'd given it all. He'd given it all. Catch him if you can. But honestly, he was hanging. Like he left it all out there. He'd been on the piss the night before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

59:51He had a big game. No, a hangover. John Barnes. so that that was fact yes well i was just gonna follow up with the fact that the main uh sort of medicinal or sort of health benefit is the glucose that's yeah isn't it so it doesn't technically have any health benefits but sugar can give you a boost can give you pep yeah and that tends to be what um is sort of seen as medicinal so it's not technically medicinal no but there is a purpose to it that will make you feel better for a temporary period of time yeah if you're if you're a little bit under the weather if you're a little bit and you need a bit and you're lethargic you need a bit of energy and your little bottle of luke's aid is what you're right at and the red flavor is technically like a citrus flavor citrus yeah vaguely citrus the queen and the the government both uh agree that that is fact thank you very much james hate james h and are we confirming so so fact it hurts because then i can pop a little jingle there yeah we are so fact it was definitely so fact it hurts

1:00:55right whatever you're doing stop it right now because joe is about to hit us with a fact about trees right so i have a fact about trees being chopped down so we spoke about the um the sycamore gap those guys um we should learn their names shouldn't we i mean we've already been told queen lily may has told us then it's a poor gap guys uh so but maybe the only mistake they made was that they did not uh benefit financially from chopping the tree down because it turns out that back in the day if you chop trees down it was just kind of an acceptable way of just showing people the tree so in the 19th century in america if they found a really really big tree yeah they'd think oh more people should see this tree let's chop it down and we'll take it around yeah we'll tour it so there's a famous one in i believe 1853 called the discovery tree it was uh chopped down i think i've seen a picture of this they held a dance party on the stump they were the stump was so huge they could have a they could have kind of ball on the on the stump let me know if this is if i'm wrong joe but is there a cross section of that tree in a museum somewhere in america well there may be a cross section they've literally like the tree is like so massive and then they've written like jesus born here like way after the tree it might not be it might not be this tree because what happened to this tree is that having taken it to a sort of local show to be shown off and then to New York to be shown off again that's where you've got to go they managed to somehow just burn the whole thing in a fire right they didn't shove it up the Kaiser's arse or something well I mean they might as well have done because it's not here anymore because so kind of clumsy as well it worked for four years yeah but they didn't even so they chopped it down didn't even take care of it yeah so I did two shows with it and I'm like oh we've burnt it down yeah well that's it again we're feeding back into that thing that you said it was just sort of like oh don't worry about the past yeah let's not worry about records I think yes I think I really think there was the lack of care paid to the natural world and indeed the man-made world if it was a bit old I think we'd be really startled by it I think just I think you've got to remember and it makes you realise how much of an achievement it is to introduce laws where you actually do have to protect.

1:03:37Oh, it's incredible. Yeah, it's absolutely amazing. And actually people always assume that that kind of legislation has sort of always been there. No, no, no. But as soon as laws become embedded in, people assume they've always been there. But actually it would have taken genuine effort to try and bring in a culture where people didn't just see a big tree and go, oh, I'll buy that for myself and then chop it down and then I'll take it on the road so people can look at it. The fact that our attitudes have changed so much. You're talking 150 years ago. It's not a long time. Even 150 years ago, they were still whaling.

1:04:15Yeah. Because they were just like, there's fucking loads of them. Yeah. There's loads of these whales and they've got some good oil in them. We'll just take those and light our candles or whatever. What did they do with whale oil? I don't even know. They made, yeah, there was a... Paraffin or something. Yeah, they made cooking, yeah, oil for burning, basically. But you can't blame them because they were just like, it's an abundance. This is the world. We've got just, there's a never-ending, you know, there's not a finite number on these whales. Yeah. And then you start to realise, you go, oh, there's only a couple left.

1:04:53oh no but no doubt it was treated as though it was just and i think that brings us back to our our mate old um old dave dave at dave attenborough dave attenborough yeah which i was slagging off yeah um a couple of weeks ago saying how he used to depress me how every one of his absolutely brilliant and incredible like listen if there's i don't think there's i don't think there's a greater broadcaster and documentary maker than david attenborough i think he's just he's absolutely amazing and even from my very young age when he would do those like the last 10 minutes of every one of his shows it was spent on being told come on we should uh it is having an effect it is having an effect that's the thing we all know what we shouldn't shouldn't be doing and we all try our best not to destroy as much anymore and the thing about you know there's there's Sometimes we're often told that we should sort of not be political.

1:05:55But, you know, 150 years ago, whenever that story was, was it 1853? I mean, if it wasn't for sort of political people, you know, still have slavery. You know, if there would still be slaves in America if it wasn't for people who didn't stay out of politics or stay in their lane or whatever. Do you know about, oh, what's his name? I'm going to forget his name now. It's going to be really bad. Is it James Brown? No, not James Brown. John Brown. John Brown. Yeah. No, no, yeah. They're different songs. Yeah. John Brown's body lies in order in the... That's John Brown. But John Brown, he's someone that fascinates me because he was, you know, depends on what angle you want to take from.

1:06:43I had come from the angle of like he's a fucking badass cool dude but yeah maybe we'll get into that maybe we'll do some John Brown facts we should do some John Brown stuff if you don't know who John Brown is go and check him out he was a legend absolutely brilliant right on that bombshell we need to wrap up here we'll be back next week armed with more facts chats and tree saps nice better than last week a return to form brilliant keep it there top there. Make sure it stays at that level, please. Don't forget in touch. Don't forget in touch. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us. Don't forget in touch.

1:07:22Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense you want to get our way. Our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822 034 330 and you can follow on social you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod. I would just like to do I know it's awkward and most of you guys would probably rather not but I would like to encourage some little voice notes on the whatsapp that'd be really great I really enjoy those um if you've already forgotten everything that I just said then god knows I have um those details are in the podcast description um but thanks for listening we'll be back next week with some more of this shit.

1:08:04Bye guys. Bye. That's a podcast. Bye. Joe and James Factor. Can I have a wee? Yeah. Sorry. Is that alright? Listen, we're going to go and Joe's going to go for a piss and then we're going to get into this podcast properly. And that's the second mic down of the day. Hi, my name's Addis DeGroon. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day.

1:08:47You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't Think So Somehow. Every time I get a message saying, I'm loving the new podcast, I'm like, why? Why?