Can You Live Off Just Baked Beans?

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1:33Like, who's that guy? The shock jock? Howard Stern. Right. So Howard Stern, it was like, he was one of the biggest broadcasters in America. Yeah. There's some sort of statistic where something mental, like half of the people tune into him because they hate him. Yeah. No, there definitely is that, isn't there? I'm just old-fashioned. I just care. I still care about what people think about me. I know. I couldn't do something. Well, I say that. Maybe I am currently doing it. But I don't think I could do something where I knew that people hated me. I just want people to like me or I just don't want to know.

2:13I do. I really want to be liked. It's pathetic. What I really think about like... Are we recording? Yes. Thank God. people are often accused of being in like a social media bubble but what i think is have you fucking seen social media of course people are in a fucking bubble yeah you can't blame people for not wanting to be in the bit of the internet where people just going you fucking cunt you fucking cunt like no nobody wants to be in that but it's not bubble it's just like basic safety it's of course of course people are going to end up in a bubble because the alternative is some sort of fucking hellscape where they're around people who are like shrieking abuse at them.

2:51Right. Joe's coming in hot. All right. That's what I think. Don't worry about being in a bubble. You're allowed to be in a bubble. I might refer to bubble as like a friendship group or like, do you know what I mean? Like, don't worry about it. Get in a bubble. Be in a bubble. It's fine. I'm in a bubble. I'm in my own bubble. Get in a bubble. Get in your own bubble. That's how egotistical I am. whenever someone like whenever something i say on either this podcast or a podcast or another podcast i've done uh gets sort of they take the little quote out of that yeah wherever i'm trying to sort of my hardest and most of the time i fail trying to be funny and they're like oh james fuckley said this oh he's an idiot isn't he i was like yeah i was pretending to be an idiot to try and make you laugh yeah and i get in this whole thing and i'm like well that's it the whole world hates me obviously clearly god i didn't realize that people you know were that interested in why that's say and i said one stupid thing as a joke and that got taken seriously and then um i say all this and then claire just like one day claire just went to me i don't know who you think you are no one cares about you in a way she was like probably right she was like i know in your head it feels like right now the world is attacking you because one newspaper has picked up on what you said and and has made it and 30 people have commented on it yeah she's like but apart from those 30 people no one cares what you've got to say Claire's I mean yeah Claire's Claire's right get over yourself have a shower and uh come downstairs because it's dinner time I agree with Claire frankly how are you Joe I'm all right man you're all right you're good I'm good you're looking good thanks thanks so much I ironed my t-shirt today I can tell tell that yeah it's right, isn't it?

4:39With an ironing board and everything. I've got an ironing board and an iron. I don't have an ironing board. I do. We've talked about this. I actually did. You've got a steamer, haven't you? Yeah. No, I'm not saying, no, I want to wait again. No, no, we can't. I'm not saying that. No, that sounds like it was a boring conversation the first time. I don't want to get back into it. I like conversations about laundry. I'm really into my laundry. Can we not get sponsored by a washing machine or something? I love doing the laundry. This is what we need to talk about as well because you've got your house

5:08It's a multi-generational project. Oh, yeah. Not more than many lives. Your great-great-grandchildren are going to be sitting on a little nest egg, which is great. It's good of you to be so forward-thinking. It is good of me. So what we need to do is we need to position ourselves, me and you, right, into getting you some shit for your house. For my house. Yeah. That's absolutely what we should do. What I really need is like... What you need to do is you need to start an Instagram account. Yeah. call it joe and hannah life or something like that and you start an instagram account and you will never have to pay for anything ever again it's just it'll just be thanks to dave who knocked up this kitchen for me did a great job it's us doing up the house right is that then that's yeah that's the account yeah i you know it has it has occurred to me um maybe i will i think it's a good idea it does need to speed up i think i because i mean i think if we were on instagram doing it it would mean that we had to get it done a little bit more quickly because at the moment it's probably going to outlive instagram as a format so i need to get it done you know there will be something else absolutely yeah like while um what is it meta while meta is still a company how long is that gonna last what 20 years i'd say at the house at the moment the house seems like it's going to last more than longer than meta so how old is your house do you know i believe it's 1896 right something like that that's very specific it's very specific well no the lady who we bought it from she she basically we basically she showed us she showed us around and she said so uh right what are we saying with this house um i think 1896 and straight away i was like yeah I want to buy that's your hero I was like you it was she did a very good job on me because it was like I was like I like that you know I think you would have done well in the late Victorian I would have enjoyed it sort of Dickensian yeah I would have liked just being in a big old library kind of researching you'd be a scholar wouldn't you I would like to have been I think you would have been a bit of a maverick back in those days do you think so I think you would have been like bit of a you know sort of science you know science was a no-no it was only just sort of getting a bit sort of like maybe we should yeah there was there was there was yeah late victorian era there was a lot of stealing cadavers and stuff i like to think i would be i would be sort of on the side of science yeah because the late victorian era was i think there was quite a lot of pushback against science yeah it was quite a lot of spiritualism like mesmerism although maybe that is science though that's It's really weird that back in those days, if you were a scientist, you were like a nerd.

7:55Yeah. You were like a rock star. You were, yeah. You were like going against the establishment. It's interesting how science has ended up being positioned now as this kind of like dusty old pursuit. Whereas, yeah. Well, it depends what sort of science. If it's sort of sexy, futuristic technology science, you know, you've got people like Musk. I mean, fucking your meta guy. Who's he? what's he called Zuckerberg Zuckerberg the biggest nerd on the planet yeah like I'm not a tough guy yeah but I'll you know if I you know if he spilt my pint in the pub I wouldn't mind going do you want to fucking get me another one son like I'd feel quite brave around Zuckerberg but all but these people are ruling the world now they are no it's true I am I think they're fuelled from getting from getting rejected by girls you know what I completely agree I completely agree.

8:51I think they were just sort of constantly rejected by girls at school and they were like, right, I'm going to show you world. Yeah, I'm going to set up a technology platform where the first founding principle is that I get to look at photographs of girls. Yeah. That's the fucking first principle. Yeah. If I, oh, you're my friend. What does friend mean? Well, I say it means you show me whatever pictures of girls you've got. But it is interesting. Is that what friend means? I'm not sure it's entirely what the word friend means. I think it is interesting the commitment that young men can have to something if they think it means they'll get their leg over at the end of it.

9:28Totally. That's the whole reason I became an actor, by the way. Well, there were more girls doing their subject. Because I wasn't good looking. I wasn't tough. And I wasn't good at football. I was like, I better fucking do something to impress the ladies. Get myself on TV. That'll help us out. Yeah, I worked for a civil engineering company in my gap year, and not a lot of women in civil engineering. No. I have to say. Not a sexy industry. What was you doing in civil engineering? This is a new thing. This is a new thing for me. Yeah. I thought you went to Australia on your gap year, and you taught kids that were all bigger than you.

10:04Yeah, I did. No, what I did was I didn't want to do a gap year. But what I have as a problem with myself is that Hannah's working on and has made some progress. But I say yes to everything. So I don't really know that I'm… Hence, this is it. This is where… Case in point. This is where… And here we are. I'm sitting in this chair. We should do a podcast together. You went, yeah. Yeah, I don't know why this is happening. Can you get your bollock out on this episode, please? Yeah, no, we'll do it. That was ridiculous. Yeah, cut that one out. Not again. Yeah. No, I'm talking about the Inbetweeners.

10:44Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. No, yeah, but I did. For anyone who's not sure, I don't think anyone is. So when I did the Inbetweeners movie, I had a penis double. I think Blake had to have an erection in some boxer shorts or something, and he had a fake penis put in. because we were very much like a normal person. Yeah. We were very much like, oh, no, I don't really want to get my genitals out on television. They go to Joe. Oh, we need you to have your ball out in this episode. Joe's actual bollock. That's not a prosthetic. That's not a... Yeah. I guess I just thought... No, listen, I've got respect for you.

11:27I just... I think if they'd said your penis, I would have still done it, wouldn't I? You would have done. Yeah, you would have done. There was the whole thing. I don't give a shit. Like, honestly, it's not a big deal. I'm not particularly impressed by my penis or my testicles. And I don't really think they're that big a deal. I just think it's... I honestly find them relatively boring. That's honestly what I think about them. They're mundane, aren't they? They're mundane. They're honestly like... I think we should... There's a little market. There's a gap in the market there for... Because you remember you had vajazzling.

12:02for a while when The Only Way Is Essex came out and it was all about what do you do? Like super glue some diamonds for your vagina or something? Has anyone ever done that? Has anyone ever actually done that? I'm from Essex. It felt like it was a very, very specific time period where Vajazzle was like... But I think you could dress up the penis. Yeah, I think you could. I think you could... now don't um i'm gonna say something now and i don't want this to get clipped i'm thinking of an erect penis yeah that won't get clipped that's that's safe keep that in context that's safe um i'm not sure you've even provided any but the the erect no i'm about to now yeah i feel like the erect penis the clip's getting longer and longer until we can get to the context i think the erect penis you could really dress up you could sort of go a bit elton john with it yeah put a cape on it yeah put some funny little sunglasses big sunglasses sorry but it'd be but it'd be a bit sad it'd be sad when it started to droop and all the clothes fell off that was it that was when well that's when it's taking its bow at the end of the end of whatever is going on yeah but yeah that's a nice way of putting it it's not drooping it's taking its bow You know, what was it, Elton John, when he wore that, like, vajazzled, basically, Dodgers uniform when he did Dodgers Stadium?

13:38It's like a really, really famous gig. I think it was a sequined suit of some kind. Yeah. Imagine, like, just dressing your penis up. But again, it only works if it's erect. Joe and James. Joe and James. Oh, Joe and James. Joe. Jo and James. Facts up again. Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Facts Up! Welcome to Jo and James Facts Up. Each week we bring one another a fact that we deem interesting. I've not got an interesting one this week. And our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. So I guess I'm turning up with a lie, Jo. Yeah, that's... We'll also... It's a shame that the intro is...

14:21The least interesting it is, the more of a lie it is. That's our logic, isn't it? yeah you're right that is that is absolutely right um we'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but can't be asked to do the research yourself in a segment that we're calling fact check and um if you do want to send us your facts or any messages because let's face it this is very quickly becoming less about the facts this show um anything that you want to get to me and joe our email is hello at joe and james pod.com Our WhatsApp number is 07822 034 330. And our socials are at joandjamespod.

15:03And don't forget that you can watch our full episodes on YouTube. Just search for Jo and James Facked Up. Now, let's get fucked up.

15:23Back to school is busy enough. The last thing you need is shopping that makes it harder. Whether you're moving into a dorm, your first apartment, or just getting organized for the semester, Wayfair makes it easy to get everything you need in one place. Furniture, bedding, storage, decor, study essentials, all at prices you'll love. With fast shipping before move-in day. Get everything you need for back-to-school season. Shop Wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. In a world where AI is changing every role in every industry, knowing who actually has deep expertise matters more than ever.

15:58Upwork connects you with the highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records so you can hire with confidence. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount. With Business Plus, you can access the top 1 % of talent on Upwork. AI-powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours. No endless searching required. Thousands of growing businesses already trust Upwork to hire highly skilled freelance professionals for everything from one-off projects to ongoing support.

16:37It's free to sign up, and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork dot com. This summer, wherever you go, take your favourite podcasts with you. I've downloaded six episodes of Help I Sex With My Boss. That's a long flight. No, that's just getting through security. Our group chat's basically become Get A Grip. Every week, someone's sending clips from Andrew and Vicky. I'm on UK True Crime. Walking the dog, heading to the pub. Oh, it's totally become my thing.

17:12Well, I listen in the hot tub. I haven't dropped my phone in. well yeah anyway wherever summer takes you hit follow on your favorite podcasts and search audio always on any podcast app to discover your next favorite listen

17:32you've not got any tattoos i've got tattoos the last thing i like them i'm not i'm i'm not like i don't know why i'm not against them i don't know against them i don't get people that are anti-tattoo. I don't really get it. It's just taking a space that was boring. I think they're rather nice. And plain. Yeah. And doing something interesting with it. Yeah. And also, I just think all, I just think, not all, some of them are really great. Most tattoos are bad. Yeah. Like, you'll like them. Yeah. But it doesn't mean that everyone else will like them. Yeah. Like, so my tattoos, I've always just lent into that.

18:10Yeah. I've gone out of my way to get the worst tattoos. Well, you've got yours. Is it a succulent Chinese meal? I've got a little takeaway Chinese box with succulent written underneath it. I've got a little paper aeroplane. What have I got? Did I tell you, there was a lad on Fresh Meat who had a tattoo on his bum saying, I love Robbie Williams. And he said, I said, why did you get that? He said, always gets a laugh. I was like, that is not a good enough reason. That is a good enough reason. That is a good enough reason. That's what I'm fuelled by. Oh, if you're at a funeral, we'll cheer up everyone.

18:52What are you doing? What are you doing? That is what I'm fuelled by. Everyone needs to cheer up. So my succulent Chinese meal tattoo. I got there. My sister-in-law did it. She's a tattoo artist. and I went to see her on my own and Claire straight away was like I feel like I should come with you because I think you're going to get something stupid. She's quite clever isn't she Claire? She's not an idiot. So I went to see my sister-in-law. Kept it in the family. She tattooed me and we were both giggling. I feel like if you'd have gone to a regular tattoo place they would have gone I don't get that.

19:29So you chose a family member so that they would do it. Also she was drawing it up and I made her do it another two times like what she was drawing yeah you don't and you don't want to you want to draw it wrong then it might be it might look a bit silly well this is my point so she she redid it i kept asking her i was going no no and and the reason why and she was like you're the first person to ever give me to ever give me this reason to redo it because it you know it's a tattoo like it's very important it's going to be on your body for the rest of your life do you know what i mean And so she's had people going, oh, I'd like it a bit more like this.

20:09Or can you make this look a bit? And she's like, yeah, cool. No, I'll do that. And she goes back and she redraws it. She said, and this was my note twice. I was like, looks too good. She was like, you're the only person to ask me, can you do it shitter? Do it shitter. She was going through like fonts and stuff like that for the word succulent. I was going, just write it. just write it now just write the word succulent just really quickly how you would write it and she just she wrote it on her ipad like you wanted it to look like um half a second i was like that's it that's what i want you were going for the sort of prison tattoo look like where you just kind of do it yourself yeah a little bit um a little bit but that's why i did it i did it because um and primarily to make her laugh yeah because me me and my person doing the tattoo me and my wife's It's a specific audience.

21:03Well, me and my wife's sister were obsessed with that succulent Chinese meal guy. And it became a sort of a little thing for me and her. And I was like, and that whole thing that's going to be on my body for the rest of my life was just to make one person laugh. And that's a win for me. Yeah. I don't know what that says about me. Well, I think you're devoted to your art form comedy. That's it. You're devoted. You're not being very efficient, but you are devoted. you can't afford to you're going to run out of space you need to up the numbers I'll commit to a joke I will commit to a laugh and that was we all had that when we were making the in-betweeners I always think that it was always like because especially third series and on yeah or should I say season these days third series and on Neil yeah became so stupid Neil's really, really stupid.

22:03And we were just like, no one's this stupid. Yeah, by the third series, he's confusing like being alive and being dead. Yeah. And you're like, well, that's... What is it? It was that kid who was ill or something. I was like, oh, I thought he was dead. He was like, no, he's not dead. He's in a wheelchair. He was like, well, isn't that... At least they don't know the same thing or something. I don't know if that made it into the show, actually. Might not made it into the show. He definitely thinks that Swansea's an animal. Yeah. That's pretty stupid. What's Swansea site? Is it an animal? Yeah. So.

22:35Simon's not moving to an animal, is he? But the discussion we had was, is it realistic? No. Is it funny? Yes. So that was always the sort of the rule. If it's funny, it goes in. It gets in. If it's funny, it gets in. And I've seen some of, some stuff has been coming up on me on Instagram, actually, because it's, I think, I suppose it's from DVD extras or something like that. and DVDs are antiquated now. So I think people are now discovering these... There's a lot on them. These, what do you call them? Scenes that didn't make it. Deleted scenes. Deleted scenes, yeah. The video diaries. And I've seen some deleted scenes come up on my Instagram and it is just like, oh yeah, I can see why that's deleted.

23:21Oh, okay. So it's not like, oh God, they were cutting gold. No. No. No, because it is just like... It's not like they were cleaning shit. No, don't get me wrong. They were probably like story driven and maybe important to the plot scenes and things like that. Maybe scenes that make the episode make more sense. Yeah. They just weren't funny. Oh, I see. So they were cut. So they were cut. They were gone. I remember we had a big argument with them about whether we were allowed to say Prince Charles instead of Prince Charles. That was it. Yeah. Yeah. You backed me up on that one. I backed you up. I said Prince Charles.

23:54Because I was, I do think it's. Because what is it? Who's the Duke of Edinburgh? There's a big discussion about who's the Duke of Edinburgh is. Duke Edinburgh is. Who's Duke Edinburgh? Is it the king? And I go, no, that's Prince Charles. Duke Edinburgh is Prince Childs. I wanted to say Prince Childs. And I don't know why. I thought that was funny. Yeah, it's funny. And it was Ian and Damon. They're like, no, don't say that. I did do it for a couple of takes. I did try and see if I could get it in. No, that's Prince Childs. They were quite finickety, weren't they, for a show of that? In their defence.

24:25They said it was a, yeah. In their defence, and something that they would constantly remind us about, it'll be like can you do um because they used to get annoyed with me a lot because i wouldn't um and it's fair enough when i'm when you hear the next sentence that comes out of my mouth you're gonna go yeah it's fair enough yeah because i wouldn't say the lines no you wouldn't right well you you wouldn't learn them and no i wouldn't so read them maybe i don't know sometimes i was like reading it for the first time like literally the first time so uh and they got really wound up with me because i kept my phrase was that's the gist oh that's right and they used to hate that i remember damon saying it doesn't say under every one of your lines in brackets or gist i'd go they'd go can you say the line the way it's written i'd go well you know it's the gist it's the i've got the gist of it yeah they would just be like i didn't go through a dozen meetings script meetings with channel four trying to get things through trying to find out what we're allowed to do or we're not allowed to do i didn't spend nine months of my life just so that you could do the gist for us it'd be really handy buckley if you could just say the line the way that we spent so much fucking time writing i think the problem you had is that you wanted to skip straight to the stage where you were able to kind of jazz it and kind of improvise it yeah but and and then and they would say you know you haven't maybe if you'd have you know learned it to begin Well, that was it.

25:57You knew that bad. Yeah. It's a bit like, you know, Picasso paints in, you know, late Picasso. He's painting squares and he's doing stuff that, you know, to be fair, that's not what a face looks like. No. But you know he could do it the right way. But he'd done all the... He'd done all the... He'd put all the work in before. He'd put the work in before. We were trying to cut straight to like, you know, here's a face. It's got four eyes on it. And they were going, well, I want to see one with two eyes first. Give us two takes the way it's written. Yeah. and we'll give you two takes the way you want to do it and I was just like I never did it right you said no deal

26:35it was yeah but yeah man I remember Prince Charles though and I did back you up and I thought we could have got that in but no they said it was a joke on a joke and perhaps it was Prince Charles Prince Charles he's a king now King Charles King Charles. Is he King Charles III or King Charles I? Because we had Charles II. So... Well, he's the first king to be Charles. Yeah. He's definitely the first Charles, for sure. Yeah. Adrian. Yeah, I just think of Adrian. I used to work with Adrian. Adrian Charles, yeah. You used to work with Adrian? Yeah. What was you... Queen Lily May, what was you working with Charles on?

27:18I worked at Five Live, BBC Radio Five Live. Right. Yeah, that's fine. For Adrian Charles. How long did you do that for? A few years Two or three years Alright Was that good? Yeah Adrian Adrian Good Laugh Good Laugh He should be king Adrian Child should be king Yeah I like him He's a What's he Who's he What is the football team West Brom West Brom Well known for being a West Brom fan Yeah Yeah Yeah There you go Should we do this podcast? Yeah But you know If Adrian wants to Come on Whatever I'm on Adrian Childs King Childs If you ever want to come on King Childs Yeah He's my king. If you want to come on.

27:56Will we get, are we going to get, do you reckon, what's the, this feels like a production conversation, but we'll keep it in the podcast. You ask the question. Is this a podcast where we'd get guests? Would you like guests? Not really. Yeah, let's not bother them. We've only got two chairs. But do we need them? Sometimes we need to. People have asked if we would have guests. I'm not against it. I don't know how to manoeuvre Joe around someone that doesn't know Joe maybe we need to just give it a bit more time I might have to prep them we might have to do a briefing that's part of my job, that's fine James is used to me but I think Joe's an odd guy you can freak people out I can freak people out, unfortunately that's why I love you though thank you and I'm pleased to have made a friend who's able to Listen, when you backed me up with that child's game.

28:51That was when I, that was, yeah, you know what? He's my boy. Yeah. He's my ride or die. Yeah. So it is, you know, and it's nice for me, but I do know, I am aware that I can, yeah, I can, you know, free people. They're not used to my affect, some people. And if they're not used to it, they're. Yeah. I mean, this might not go in. I'll let you decide what I'm about to say. Okay. But me and Joe, we're being pitched for a couple of things at the moment, like me and you together doing something together. And I was talking to our pal who's sorting it all out. Yeah. And I was just talking about how much of a laugh it would be.

29:36I was like, I always want to do stuff with Joe. I always like, I love working with Joe. If there's an opportunity where me and Joe can do something together, count me in. Like, don't worry, just I'm in. Like, if it works out, if you can get the green light, cool. like just let me know where and when i'm there and um and then i and then we were talking a bit more about mine and your relationship and how much like and and he was like listen people people would love to see you and joe together and and i was like yeah no that could work this idea that you had i was like yeah no that could that could work and i was like it's a shame that i've hitched my wagon to the strangest man on the planet like i think i think we'd have to like if me and you do something together where it's me and you by the way not acting in something it's it's joe and james go and do something i don't know what that is and um i think we'd have to have like a sort of you know on the beginning of jackass where it was like mtv says do not do these things at home I think I might have to write something Being like Listen Joe's like this Alright And it's a bit odd to begin with But if you get in there Yeah If you sort of let it go Once you get used to the style You'll realise I'm saying The same things as everyone else Yeah exactly You are There's no interest There's no interest in content It's just taking longer to say it You're like the mighty boosh If it was a person Yeah Yeah Because I remember The first time I watched the mighty boosh I was like Yeah There was no jokes in it.

31:08Like, I don't understand this at all whatsoever. And then I gave it a second go and I was like, oh, wait a minute, this is actually the funniest fucking thing that's ever existed. That's you. So what we need to do is when we end up doing this thing, I think it's going to happen together. Yeah. We need to maybe ask the audience to watch one episode and just be like, right, you won't get it. Yeah. Watch the next episode. It might make sense. You're a strange little guy, aren't you? I am. Well, I think I get into, I do sort of ramble. I'm aware that I ramble. That's good. That's good for podcasting.

31:51Good for podcasting.

31:55One thing I feel is that people don't always know when I've finished saying what it is that I'm saying. Right. That's the problem. Thank you for bringing that up. Yeah. because I'm constantly getting told I know off and we're both getting told off for talking over each other a lot I'm trying hard not to but your thing is Joe is if I if I sat here in silence yeah you would talk for an hour yeah without a gap in between it and sometimes and it's just clipped you just a little bit I agree I once I once did a breakfast television interview with um Eamon Holmes I once did a breakfast television interview with him was I with you?

32:36No, it was just me. Because we did... I think it probably was. Right. And he asked me one introductory question at the beginning of the interview, which was just something like, how are you? And I talked for so long in answer to that question that he didn't have time for a second question. Right, thanks, Joe. And he just had to end the interview. Jesus, thanks, mate. He said, that's all we've got time for. Did you go, oh, by the way, a new series of this is coming out. Yeah. I also once was supposed to be pitching something that I was being paid for as a corporate job. and I had a radio interview with Amanda Holden and Jamie Thexton.

33:11Right. Yeah, on part. Yeah, I did the whole interview. Yeah. And I was being quite funny. I made a joke about like - Did you go in there? No, I did actually in the back of a car. Right. With the guy who was working for the company that I was doing the corporate job for. And basically he could hear me talking and not getting in the thing that I was meant to mention. and I was like, oh, Amanda and Jamie will bring it up. And obviously they weren't going to bring it up. They were interested in the fact that I was doing Celebrity Bear Hunt. It's been quite funny about that. I was quite pleased. I was like, that's a good interview.

33:42They were like, okay, so coming up, going all the way back to 1983. I was like, oh God, no, no, don't end the interview. And I literally went, oh, sorry, can I just? And then they cut me off. And the guy next to me, and I was trying to like start it out. I was like, how do you think that went? And he went, yeah. It'd be great if you could have mentioned that product. It'd be great if you could mention, I think I said something like, do you think that interview was of any value to the product? And he said, to be honest, no, not at all, because you didn't mention the product at all. So, yeah, that was...

34:19That's the tightrope that we walk, don't we? We do. See, I avoid that stuff. It's very difficult doing... I've done it in the past where you're trying to. You have to work it in. Because there's laws, right? There's these sort of really fucking weird laws. So you'll work with a company and you'll do an Instagram video and then they're like, oh, we need you to do a day of press. And I've done it once before and now I always say no to the day of press because you're not really allowed to advertise something. but there's a loophole there's sort of like a so if you go on good morning britain or something like that you go they go well is uh um is do you reckon there'll be any more in between us yeah and you go well i'm not sure if there'll be any more in between us the one thing i am sure about though is that i love these socks that i'm wearing yeah um yeah like it's it's it's i did it once before i did a whole day i went to different radio stations and stuff did a whole press junket i can't remember what it was i was plugging and i was i was a lot younger than what i was now and i was just like like at that point in my life i was like you're gonna you're gonna give me that much money yeah all right yeah i'll do it yeah that sounds brilliant yeah and then and then it was just weird it was just it's a really weird really difficult to do and i'm not a subtle guy.

35:52Like, I would rather just go, oh, I'm here to talk about this thing that I'm trying to sell to people. Like, I'd much rather that. And I think people would much rather listen to that. Because at that point, they've got a decision. They can decide I'll carry on listening or I won't. And you're not tricking people into sort of... That's what I don't like. I don't like the... And I have done it before. I don't like the feel of pulling the wall over people's eyes. It's really hard to try and bring up stuff. Yeah. And I changed my stance on it a long time ago. My strategy was wait until it comes up naturally.

36:32Yeah. And then it didn't come up. It doesn't, does it? If you're trying to sell a chocolate bar or something like that, it's like, well, I've got to. I was thinking it's bound to come up. They'll bring it up, sure. And I didn't realise when I started doing this, I just thought they were adverts. And I was so confused. I was like, why can't I say it? No, no, no, Joe. Just for any lawyers watching, they weren't adverts. No, they weren't. You were just having a conversation. And like you said, it didn't come up in the heart one. I teamed up. For heaven's sake, I'd done the totally normal thing of teaming up with a brand that I'd never heard of before.

37:11I was just trying to team up. Don't you like teams? You were just trying to get into a bubble. I was just trying to get into a bubble. You were trying to bubble up. Trying to build community and friendship by teaming up. Who have you teamed up with? They're called... What's the only other member of my team called? Let me just check. But you know, you always get these alliances, don't you? Between, you know, people in the public eye and sort of completely random rounds. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah. That's what I do. That's the main time that teams happen. That's what team means, isn't it?

37:48Yeah. A team is a combination of a celebrity and a brand.

37:54So we've been chatting quite a lot. So we do need to get into the... We're contractually obliged to get into some facts. So let's get straight into fact check. This is the part of the podcast where we will read a fact or a question from you that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Then we're going to have a little think during the ad break there and we'll come back and let you know how true... we think it is. No. And we'll decide whether it passes our voucher. We really will try to decide, though. If it comes to a point where me and you disagree, where there's a stalemate, we then throw it over to Queen Lily mate and...

38:35For the casting vote. You know, she rules. So there's two... She's got ruling vote. As a system of government, this is... It's like a constitutional monarchy. So it was... Yeah. We've got a parliament here of two. So, they shouldn't have parliament two because it's going to be a lot of ties. And then we've got the monarch who settles things in extremis. Ruling vote. Yeah. Okay. So, this week's fact check. I'll read out this fact, shall I? This fact check comes from Alex who has messaged in to say, how did they message out of interest? I think Alex sent it on the WhatsApp, on the form, actually.

39:21It was the fact-up form. Oh, yeah, this form. I've never seen this form. I don't know what this form is. It's in the description, so if you want to click on the description of the episode, it'll be there. Shouldn't that be included in the intro and stuff? Because I say if you want to get in touch with us, you can do this, this, or this. I've never said, oh, by the way, there's a form. Yeah, it's just too many things, but people are using it. It's fine. Great. All right. They're finding it. Don't, you know, if it ain't broke. What is it? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Yeah. Good advice. That's what we used to say about when we were making the second Inbetweeners film, one of the sayings we said was, because obviously the series had been a huge success, the first film broke records for a British comedy.

40:04And then when we were doing the second film, one of the things we kept saying was, if it ain't broke, break it. Anyway. Yeah. Alex says alright lads I have always lived with this fact in my head and have never had the heart to check if I was living a lie Alex says you can live your entire life only eating baked beans it worked for me at uni cheers Alex well you can live your entire life only eating something only eating anything well it depends how long your life would be if you end up dying yeah like Like, should this be after the break? Should be after the break. Sorry, let's go for a break and we'll discuss more afterwards.

40:47Sorry, Alime. Sorry, Queen Alime. Sorry about that. Oh, sorry.

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42:13Furniture, bedding, storage, decor, study essentials, all at prices you'll love with fast shipping before move-in day. Get everything you need for back-to-school season. Shop Wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hi, my name's Alice DeGroon. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh, God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds.

42:53That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't Think So Somehow. Every time I get a message saying, I'm loving the new podcast. I'm like, why? Why? Oh, dear.

43:11Joe and James, Facts Up! Right, we're back. And Alex asked us if you can only, you can live your entire life only eating baked beans. Now, we are going, I don't know if the word is meta, but we are, like, that is one of the topics on Midmorning Matters on Alan Partridge, where it is, can you just only, can you live your life entirely eating crisps? That's like one of the debates apparently they had. So we are getting into that territory. But baked beans, first of all, the bean I think is a healthy food. It's healthy. I think it's a superfood. Yeah, beans contain protein, so it's better than just eating carbs.

43:58Mm-hmm. There's probably some vitamin C in the sauce a bit because it's made of tomatoes. Yeah. I really doubt that you could live your entire life, as in if you want your life to be good and long. Yeah. I don't think you could. That's not what he's asking. You could literally live your entire life eating baked beans. Yeah. You could live your entire life eating anything. Yeah. If you wanted to live your entire life eating razor blades. Yeah. You could do. Yeah. It would be a short life. It would be a short life. But you'd make it the whole way. The baked bean. I don't think it's true. I think if you wanted to eat just one thing, you'd be better off eating something like raw beef because you would get vitamins.

44:49I'm pretty sure there's vitamin C in raw meat. Right. Because a subject that I always bring up, Captain Scott, one of the ways that bacon – Are you going to talk about scurvy? scurvy if you they they were able to eat raw they were eating their i think ponies by the end right which obviously is sad but i think the ponies you know it was kind of either them they didn't take the right animal they took ponies ponies ponies are like a parrot or something ponies i think are mostly birthday presents for rich little girls i don't think they i don't think they're meant to go to the South Pole. Yeah, you can get like...

45:29Ponies. They're tough ponies. I mean, look, it wasn't the ponies' fault but the Amundsen took dogs whereas Scott and his men hauled their sled themselves. Yeah. With the pony. That's going to tie you out. Like I would even go for a bigger... You don't need to like... That feels like a flex. That feels like an unnecessary flex. We will not only win but we will do it hauling our own sleds. Britain's famous for that. historically the british are famous for that you can't just win you didn't yeah win with one arm behind your back it needs to be done the right way anyway these there was a mention in this book i read about raw pony meat has vitamin c in and i'm pretty sure that raw meat yeah has vitamin c it would have been it would have been frozen as well so they would have been like shaving it off and whatnot so you're covered when it comes to scurvy you've got your protein i think that's some carbs in yeah i suppose so if you just would have one thing that would that would keep you going but i think in i don't think anything just one just one substance is really going to be good no you need a variety i don't it's not it's not true well it's sort of true it's better it's better for you than just eating white pasta or something yeah it's it's not enough there'll be stuff that you're not getting.

46:50But I don't think, well, the statement is, can you leave? You can, I think you could. It worked for me at uni, the young body is very resilient. Oh God, yeah, the young body. It doesn't give a shit. It just, like you can put so much shit into your body when you're young and it's just really good at just zeroing in on the good stuff. Yeah. And just grabbing that. It's better at sorting it, isn't it? Yeah. It would just be like, if you just want to eat chocolate, from the ages of 15 to 22 or something, the body would be like, that's absolutely fine. We'll make that work. Yeah. We'll sort that out.

47:28We'll get something from that. The old body feels like it's almost doing the opposite. The old body is like - Like it's binning the good - You had it a load of crap. The old body's tired - And it takes out the good stuff, bins that - Yeah. And then shoves all the shit into your sort of stomach and ass. The old body's like, well, we can process this quicker. Yeah. So just - You're bringing more sugar in. Brilliant. Yeah, that'll do us. Yeah, that's fine. We'll do that. But what's Alex asking us here, do you think, Queen Lily May? Is it a health – is it – because, like I say, you can eat anything.

48:04I think what he's saying is you could live a normal healthy life. I think in the end you would die from malnutrition because there'd be something that you're not getting. Yeah. I reckon you could get to your 60s. You might get to your 60s. With the baked bean. What are we saying? I don't think it's true. I'm going to go, that's not fact. Not fact? No fact. No fact. What do we say? What do we say when it's no fact? Fact down. I think you said fact down before, yeah. I don't remember that. Is that what we said? I think we have been saying that. Fact down. Yeah, instead of fact up. Instead of fact up.

48:40Yeah, I know, I get it.

48:46she's not good no all right i mean that's what that's not a not really an issue well was it was it fact or fact up so as if it's like if it's not right it's fact up i can't no fact up is correct fact up's um i thought it was so fact till it hurts there's so fact it hurts so fact it hurts we haven't used that for a while but no that's that's when you really this is i'm going to go no i'm going to go fact down okay yeah i'm saying i'm saying fact down which if you're listening and you're as confused as i am that means no fact apparently not fact it's not fact down i suppose we could we say instead of fact up we could say yeah we haven't just fact fact up fact up i i don't know whether people have noticed but it's a bit of a pun on what episode is this this episode 20 and we're now is it and we're 20 yeah and we're and we're just deciding on the format.

49:36We're not deciding on the format. We're abandoning it. We're ditching it. I was going to say we haven't done the format for most of this episode. We're ditching the format. That's fine. Anyway. We've never really settled on the format. Anyway, I think we're in agreement that that won't keep you alive for long. For as long as you'd like to live for. It's not true. So we're going to go not true. Lily Mae, have you got any information? Have you looked up how long you could live on Big Twins? Yeah, For this, I've been living off beans for the last week. Yeah, I appreciate that. Have you really? No.

50:10It would have been good if I had. That's the last thing I need. Joe's worked for me. Joe's been stuck in a car with me, a tiny little yellow car with me for days on end. We were once getting on a plane and people in the queue were saying that it was the smell of the catalytic converter. Of a plane, by the way, Which almost definitely does not have a catalytic converter, right? Yeah. And there was. Like we were in the – But they thought that was a likelier explanation. The tunnel that goes onto the plane. Yeah. And I was just like, I've got to fart. I can't hold this in anymore. And it was eggy.

50:49It was very sulfuric, I would describe it. It was horrendous. And there was an old woman behind us, wasn't it? And she was like, oh, God, yeah, you can smell the catalytic converter, can't you? It was getting her in the mood for holiday. She said, oh, I love that smell. I remember when you, as soon as I smell the catalytic converter, I'm already on the beach somewhere like that. But it smelled industrial for sure. They were like, something's happening here that this is man dabbling in. This is man playing God. This is an attempt to split the atom or something. I don't know if I'm a fucking weirdo.

51:24Well, I do know I'm a weirdo. I do take pride in how smelly my farts can be. Can you... It is the diet. It's the old diet there. It's mostly Domino's pizza and curry. Your diet was never really good on the in-betweeners. No. Is it any better now? No? No. No. I eat more pasta. Okay. Well, no, my diet is better because I got married. Yeah. Yeah. and they don't want you. They've got a problem with you eating a whole block of dairy milk at nine o 'clock on a Tuesday morning. They're really sort of stuck up, aren't they? And also, it's nothing to do with you. I'm not doing anything to you. This will make me happy just doing this.

52:09You can fart if you want. Yeah, absolutely. I don't mind. Yeah, I find it funny. It's funny and cool. If I do it, it's like... I had to sleep in the guest room the other day. What, because you were farting so much? And we forgot to bring it up on the podcast, actually. Mine and Claire's podcast. the night before we went in to do a podcast record um i i got kicked out of my own bedroom um well in fact we did talk about it a little bit i was saying good night to the one of my kids and farted as i was leaving and i can't remember exactly what i'd eaten but i'd stunk out that room and farting as you're leaving is not good etiquette and he was well annoyed he was like why did you do that just like oh no and he was like cupping his mouth like with his face and With his bed sheets and stuff.

52:56Yeah. Then got into bed, into my bed, did a couple of little farts. After, like, the third one, it was like, you've got to go. You've got to get out of here because that is disgusting. You're going to make me sick. They were powerful. Yeah. They were so powerful. It's hard to ventilate a room like that. But I don't know where I was being punished because I had to leave the room and go into a nice, fresh room, the guest room. Yeah. It was nice and crisp and fresh and there's all new bed sheets on there. The punishment should be that you have to remain in the room. And I left Claire in the room with the funk.

53:31Yes. As a punishment, you were kicked out of prison. Yeah. That was sort of what had gone on. I'd ruined prison. You'd ruined prison. I'll get out. Go free. Yeah. They were like, oh, no, we can't have you in here. Go. Anyway, we're saying no. Queen Lily May, what are we saying? so yeah basically from research i don't think anyone's actually tried this but um you could survive for a limited time they say but you basically wouldn't get all the nutrients you'd need so you become quite deficient in things there's also a lot of sodium in beans uh so you'd have excessive sodium which can lead to health issues as well so you'd probably end up with some long-term health issues if you decided to live just up beans yeah i think that's more or That's what we assumed.

54:17It depends what beans you're going for. I mean, don't get me wrong. There's Heinz, Branston. That's it. The Heinz is the... Yeah. If it's not Heinz, I don't want it. Get out of my face. But they are salty. But that's why they're so great. You've got an opinion on beans as well, haven't you? About cooking beans. People don't cook. Which I agree with, actually. People don't cook them for long enough. Yeah. They've got to be... You've got to cook... Yeah. How do you remember this? This is something I'm quite passionate about. This is one of the things that you are most serious about in your life.

54:48That's what I remember. Jeremy's on a lot of pressure. Because I know you. Somebody said it was important to James. I was like, the bean thing. This is amazing. I can't believe I've spoken to you about this. Yeah. But, yeah, don't just - Prince Charles, the beans. Don't just heat up your beans. Don't just warm up your beans. Cook your beans. Cook them. Get them a bit stodgy. Exactly. If you want to go mental, chuck in a great big knob and butter in them. Yeah, that'd be nice to talk. While they're cooking. Oh, my God. I think that beans, they put in a little bit more water. Yeah. And the intention of the manufacturer is that you cook that off.

55:23And here's something that Claire does, is that she'll sort of strain the beans. Okay. Because she doesn't want them so watery. And what I say to her is, I go, no, no, no, that's flavour that you're throwing away there. You've got to condense that. You're right. Evaporate, yeah. Yeah, you've got to... Just evaporate the water. You've got to commit a bit of time to the baked bean getting cooked. Yeah. Like, you know, people fucking just put it in a bowl and put it in the microwave and then pour it over some toast. Yeah, that's madness. What are you doing? Have you ever shredded cheese in your beans?

56:02Yeah. Oh, my God. What I do sometimes is I put the cheese on the toast and then pour the beans over so the cheese melts. Yeah. I do that when Claire's made like a bolognese or something like that. Oh, okay. I get the pasta, then I grate cheese on the pasta, then the bolognese goes on top. So that gets all melted into the pasta, that cheese. Then I do another layer of cheese on top of the bolognese. So what are we saying? Okay. That's not fact, is it? That's fact down or whatever we're going to call that. Yeah, fact down. Fact down. And good to have the parliament and the monarch in agreement. Absolutely.

56:37We don't want no civil war. We're all just heading, yeah. we're all heading we're all just heading we're just trying to think if we're facing in the same direction all we need to do keep on walking keep on walking if there is something that you'd like us to fact check oh yeah head to our episode's description for all the ways to get in touch Joe it's time for our facts okay you're gonna go you haven't done one I have done one but it's shit okay we're talking about Lent yeah I think the podcast is a bit long so we're just gonna do one and actually is a podcast about Lent so we're being restrained.

57:12One fact instead of two. I have decided to give up looking up facts for Lent. I've decided to give up preparing facts for this show for Lent. Fair enough.

57:27Do you know what though? That works. That's what's good working with me and Joe, right? Is that it is what it is. It's not going to... It can't get any worse. What's that? I think... You know what I mean? We're having a good time. It's a nice low bar. We don't always need two bucks. You know, if it gets a bit better by accident one week, that's a bonus. But no one's really had their expectations set too high, I don't think. And that's the whole key to life, I think. Just keep the expectations low, control them. Absolutely. That way you'll never be disappointed. Joe, what is your fact? My fact is that in the 17th century, some monks did a fast where they just had beer.

58:15Well, this is interesting. I thought you'd like this. Right. So it's not interesting for normal people. It's interesting to me. So you could drink beer if you were fasting as a monk because it was almost classed as bread. well no I think isn't it more that it's it was like a bread drink it was like huell for monks it was like medieval huell was beer because it was it was sort of like that step between a drink and food it's almost like going back to Alex's point isn't it beans maybe he could have had beer yeah this was actually recreated by a US journalist who did Lent and did the beer thing. And he did it for 40 days.

59:13Just beer. Just beer. Was it like lower alcohol? No, I don't think it was. I think it was a regular beer. But I was thinking because he'd have four a day. It'd be like 1 % alcohol with the beer. Sometimes it wasn't very alcoholic. but actually four pints, let's say, a day. Yeah. It's not a vast amount of alcohol. No. I believe it's actually what you're looking to hit if you're driving in Australia.

59:40Also, I was looking at the... It's just the driving minimum in Australia. That's what you're looking for. I was looking at some, because we spoke about this, didn't we? And I was hoping there'd be some clarification from some genuine Aussies in our comments. and they're just as vague as the information that we got when we were. And he was like, yeah, no, that's right. Yeah, no, you have one beer and then, you know, one beer an hour after that. Yeah. And did I tell you that when I was in Australia on my gap year, there used to be things in pubs where you could blow into a tube? This was like in the gents next to the condom machine.

1:00:16Yeah. It would be like, you drive home, just check. You didn't just walk into a glory hole? it was weird because other things happened that was it a big fleshy tube that you just blow into things now yeah and and the tube kept in touch with me afterwards yeah and if you were if you were over the limit it would spit in your face yeah that was weird as well it was a two-way tube yeah you blow in but then oh god you used to get green red or orange so green you were definitely under the limit. Orange was like, don't get pulled over. No, it was, honestly. If you see a police officer on the road, just be really careful.

1:01:01It did seem like it was that. And you'll be fine. It did seem like it was that. And red is like, probably get a taxi. Red's get a taxi. But anyway, this journalist, he did it for 40 days and the detail I liked was he'd have four beers a day. Yeah. But on Saturday and Sunday, he'd have five. So on the weekend, he'd have a pint. it was nice do you know what I mean sorry it's a weekend I got a beer yeah that's quite sweet it reminded me of a joke that I heard about and apologies to any Irish issue it is an Irishman joke I hope that's that's fine sometimes in the jokes for some reason the Irishman seems to be a silly man I don't really know why but anyways the good news is is that the Irish have a really fucking great sense of humour and they don't get they don't worry about themselves with this sort of nonsense for whatever reason for whatever reason it's an irishman joke but basically in it's a guy he goes into the pub and he always gets uh two pints of guinness and he says that one's for him and one's for his brother who's died so he also has a pint for his brother who's died and then one day he goes and he just gets one pint and he says yeah i've decided to give up drinking and it reminded me a little bit of uh of this story about the guy having having a drink on the weekend after a week of only drinking beer after a week of losing yeah then he can finally have a drink at the weekend yeah so um i like that and he he said it was you know it worked he was he got permission from his work to do it and that's it sounds like he wasn't pissed he was actually fairly clear-headed it's not really enough alcohol i would have thought over the course of a day i mean you're not soaking it up but you are you're probably able to metabolize it more quickly yeah and of course one of the reasons you put on weight if you drink alcohol is that your body metabolizes the alcohol first because it's, strictly speaking, a poison before it begins to metabolize the food.

1:02:55So it spends less, I don't know, energy metabolizing the food. So more of the food will be converted to fat than if you don't drink because the alcohol is sort of metabolized first. I did do some... Anyway, was that a good fact? I really did. Yeah. And it was the Paulina Brewery, which you can still get beer from to this day. The problem is, right, is I love all that shit. I absolutely love that, especially the history of beer is absolutely fascinating. Yeah. Absolutely incredible. Once it was the woman's job, the woman of the house, she would be in charge of the... To brew the beer? Yeah, because it was very much...

1:03:37It very much was sort of seen... She'd be in charge of how pissed the husband got as well, so that'd be quite good. Which would be quite a good sort of control. I suppose because it has something to do with yeast and stuff like that. It was very much along the same – it was in the same bracket as bread. Yes. Baking bread, making beer. It was the same thing. And the women would take turns in the street. It would be, oh, Shirley's doing it this weekend. Doing the beer. And they'd put this, I can't remember what it is, it was some sort of branch or some sort of leaf on the door to let the community know, oh, there's beer going on in here.

1:04:19And people would turn up with either tankards or bowls and things like that. And it was always like someone's turn in the community to do the beer that week. Probably quite weak if they're brewing it. It was weak because also it was... because water was so dangerous. It's a way of sterilizing water. I'm sure I've told you this, but a friend of mine at university said that he had this theory that all the differences between Western culture and Eastern culture could be traced back to the fact that in the West, water was sterilized by brewing it, and in the East, water was sterilized by boiling it.

1:05:08it's an interesting thought I don't think every difference but if you have a beer culture versus if you have a coffee culture yeah I'm not sure that's true well yeah well Middle East I assume he's talking I think so yes yes exactly so I think he's talking about because like Asia fucking love a little drop of rice wine and all that yeah yeah yeah Middle East were very for religious purposes and social purposes like for all that sort of they didn't really drink that much, did they? No. But we fucking loved it. We loved it in Europe. We couldn't get enough of this stuff. We didn't have coffee for ages.

1:05:44Imagine having coffee. I know. You don't really like coffee, but like, I honestly think coffee probably had a cultural impact. Absolutely. In terms of keeping people sharp and keeping them awake. Absolutely. But also things like revolutions and stuff like that. It was the exact same thing as beer. Like people would meet up in coffee shops and stuff and talk about what we need to get done. If you don't want a revolution, I reckon you want your population drinking beer rather than coffee. If I was a monarch who didn't want a revolution, I'd say I'd rather they were pissed. Because they won't get themselves wet, they'll fall asleep.

1:06:16I think that's a Bill Bailey joke of people that want to legalise cannabis, but they just can't really get their shit together. So they're like, right, what are we here to do? Right, we need to make sure we legalise. What are the benefits? Oh, man. I don't know. yeah um it's today there's a very high rate of us everything we say turns out to just be in some other yeah show or we're so influenced we're the we're we're not influencers we're we're the influenced yeah i think we're the first generation because it is we're like customers apparently like the the when you you know when a civilization is going to end apparently when when um they start getting really...

1:07:00Well, it was like what you were saying. Nostalgic. Yeah. It's like what you were saying when your grandfather smashed that piano and stuff. Because it was just like, fuck that. We've got much better stuff coming up. Exactly. Whereas now, we're all like, oh, it was much better before. And apparently, that's the sort of... That's the natural end to something. And then something else will start from that. It does strike me that the only people who are genuinely optimistic about the future are... those guys in Silicon Valley and their idea of the future is quite weird. I think their idea of the future is like I'll be on an island and I'll be immortal.

1:07:40And you're like, yeah, but have you got like a vision Like that guy who's trying to live forever. A billionaire. Isn't he injecting his son's blood into him or something? I'm sure there's a guy who's got his son involved. Yeah, I think he did do that. Did he? That sounds like witchcraft or something. It's funny, it's just gone back to being, it could almost be something from the middle ages. To be fair, he does look much better. He looks a bit weird. He does look weird, don't get me wrong, but he looks better now as an older person than he did when he was younger. But I don't know if that's because of the way he's living or if he's just had some sort of surgery or something, Botox and things like that.

1:08:23Yeah. Because your outside doesn't really reflect your inside a lot of the time. You said something to me, and I'm sure I spoke about this podcast because it's a thing that I don't think I go for a day without thinking this. You said to me once, the better you look on the outside, the worse you feel on the inside and vice versa. Yeah. Because I've been through bouts of depression where I'm not sleeping or eating and stuff like that. But I look fucking jagger thin. and I look like a sort of rock star or something. The worse you feel, the better you look. I've had sort of times in my life where I'm really, really happy and like I'm happy now.

1:09:01Like I'm married to Claire, I've got my kids and stuff. So I love sleeping, I love eating. But I look like shit, but I feel great. I'm in that phase as well. I know I could lose a bit of weight, but my self-esteem is high enough that I just don't really give a shit. I don't really think it's my job. It's not my job to lose weight. It just honestly isn't. Like if I'm tired and I can eat and have a better thought in my head and like sort of come up with an idea, then I should do that because that's sort of my job. It's not most people's job to be thin. And it's not what makes human beings special.

1:09:33If you were looking at a history of all the animals, you wouldn't go, oh, and then this one animal came along and they were human beings. And what was amazing about them was how they looked. Bollocks. It's ridiculous, isn't it? Don't worry about how you look. Do you know what, Joe? It's what's up there. You are dangerously close to tapping into something quite meaningful there, which I will have nothing to do with. Let's move on. Let's, listen, I don't have a fact. I was looking at my facts and they are just rubbish. Like one of them was like Bono gave up listening to music that he likes for Lent.

1:10:05Like I couldn't, I couldn't find anything. Like that was the most interesting thing. But for Lent one year, Bono. What point is this? He's not helpful. I assume Bono really loves music. He's a musician and stuff. so for Lent one year he was like I'm not going to listen to any music that I like so what was he listening to I don't know if he was listening to music that he hates I've got a Peppa Pig album he can listen to if he wants to listen to stuff now because that is on all the fucking time in my car and it's mental that was honestly as far as I got and I'd spent a long time looking into stuff and that was the only thing I remembered from my research I think that's we've got an episode well there you go we've done an episode we've got to the end I'm all fact out I'm fucked out.

1:10:51What have we learned today? Shattered. We have learned that if you want to live a long, healthy life, don't just eat baked beans. We have also learned that Bono loves music. We've also learned that – what was your one, Joe? That you can get by 40 days just having four beers a day and five on the weekend. That is a dangerous lesson. So thank you so much for listening. We hope that you've learned something. and you've had a nice time. We'll be back next week to have more facts, chats and giving up acts. What was that? Yeah, giving up stuff. Giving up acts. Giving up acts. Come on. Come on. It's okay.

1:11:34I love you. It's not the worst. Yeah, it's the worst one. Fine. Yeah, okay. Oh, it's not. Yeah, you need... Thank God Kate is here to remind you that you've done stuff shitter. Don't forget you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact chat something that feels true to you. fucking the bringer of doom looming over us it's been a long episode he's just slacking us all don't forget you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us by emailing us hello at joeandjamespod.com whatsapping us 07822034330 and our social media handle is at joeandjamespod so head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details that was a podcast joe we've got another two more to film right now yeah come on

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1:13:13It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't Think So Somehow. Every time I get a message saying I'm loving the new podcast, I'm like, why? Why? I like it. Yeah, yeah.