Do They Have Dog Poo Bags In France?

0:01I know you want to get into this episode of Facked Up, but just before we do, you're going to want to hear this first. On Help I Sexted My Boss, quite the mystery is unfolding as Jordan North's microwave has been stolen by one of his mates. It's not exactly something you can sneak out of the house easily. You're going to want to hear how the boys unpack this drama. Search for Sexted and get the episode lined up to play next.

0:30Cha-ching! That's the sound of Lowe's Labor Day Savings. Get up to 45 % off select major appliances and save up to an additional$100 on select laundry pairs. Plus, get three bags of Miracle-Gro.75 cubic foot garden soil for just$10. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9. While supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. The soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. This summer, wherever you go, take your favourite podcasts with you. I downloaded the Surgeon of St Helena series for the flight. Well, I bet you finished it. Yeah, before we landed.

1:09We put the Jack and Ash show on for the road trip and somehow we took the wrong exit because we were laughing. Worth it if you got to finish the episode. Well, I listen to the Holiday Expert show every week. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're always trying Chelsea's tips. They've saved me a fortune. Wherever summer takes you, hit follow on your favourite podcasts and search Audio Always on any podcast app to discover your next favourite listen. Every other week there's something going wrong and I assume it's the fact that I turn 40 next year and I'm at the point in my life now where the body is... You can feel it dying.

1:50You're always dying, aren't you? The body's always dying But now once you get to a certain age, you're like, oh, no, now I really am. Like, what have I got, 30? 30 years? I feel at the moment like I can see the beginning and the end. Like when you're in the English Channel, and it is the English Channel. And you can see. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking cunts. And you can see England and France, and it's a bit weird. You can see Dover and Calais. I feel like that's my life at the moment. I was born in Dover and I'm going to Calais to die. And I'm on a boat. Yeah. And I'm halfway along. That is what it's like.

2:34It's weird, isn't it? And I feel the same about fatherhood. You've left lovely Dover. Lovely, beautiful Dover. And France is waiting for you. Yeah. There's a lot. We were talking about how much we love. We've got so many cheeses. We were talking about how much we love France. I love France, yeah. There is a lot of dog shit there, though. Yeah. Is there? in Paris. Yeah. I think, yeah, yeah. I went to Paris. I was in my early twenties. So about 20 years ago when I went to Paris, I'm sure they've cleaned it up now. I went there and I just, I was just like, there is a lot of dog shit. There's a lot of dog shit.

3:10And I, and to be honest, do they not have those bags to, to, to pick it up in? I don't know. I mean, you, if I could put a positive spin, cause you know, we're like killing the planet and we're doing everything wrong and we're all a bunch of arseholes, selfish pricks that are killing the dolphins or whatever. You don't see dog shit much these days. There are some things that we've... You don't see dog shit much these days. The stuff that we have got on top of. We've sorted out the dog shit thing. And I think those little battles, sometimes you need to give yourself a little pat on the back. All of us collectively.

3:48Go, yeah, all right, maybe we are still burning too much fossil fuels or whatever. But I'm not really in charge of that, to be honest with you. I don't really have much say in what goes on. But, you know, the dog shit situation, we've really fucking mastered it. Well, I think, yeah, I, I hate littering, right? I can't stand it. If you litter, you're a cunt. I can't stand it. I don't care what you say. It's so selfish. If I... It's like, it's a tiny thing. And, but I think that most people wouldn't litter. Most people don't actively want to destroy their environment. So if you could tap into that instinct, almost everybody...

4:25There's bins everywhere. If it could... There's no excuse for littering control. And you're quite right. It's because the other things they seem like, they're so huge. They're out of your control. And it does seem a bit much to feel like you're being kind of personally shamed for them. Because all you've done is be born at a certain time in history and joined in doing what everyone else is doing. That doesn't really make you a bad person. I just... I do. I need a car. I do need it. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. And also, like, most people's morality comes from, like... And the fact that my car runs on ground-up dolphin is...

5:01You've got too many dolphins anyway. They're annoying. They're fucking... Shut up. Just irritating. What are you smiling about? Shut up. Yeah, I know. Why would that smile off your face? Also, they're evil dolphins. They are evil. They do do some weird stuff, don't they? They do. I was watching a thing the other day of... because they have culture as well. They have different cultures and things like that, like different pods do things differently. It's like France and England, right? We clean up our dog shit. But there are some dolphins. There are some dolphins. There are dolphins that keep prisoner dolphins just for their whole lives.

5:40They keep them like a sort of Fritzl-esque where they're not allowed to leave the pod and they're not allowed to go anywhere. And they've not been given a trial date or anything. The dolphins, don't let them fool you. I mean, keep them. Save the dolphins, of course. You don't want dolphins getting trapped up in nets so you can have a tuna sandwich or whatever. No. But just keep your eye on them is what I'm saying. Yeah. They're not those smiley, happy clowns of the sea. Well, I think the reason we think that they're happy all the time is literally because their mouth is in that shape. My dog's got the same thing.

6:21I've got a statue of all terrier. He just looks like, I'm convinced he's smiling at me all the time. Yeah. It must be unfortunate being a dolphin if you're actually in a really bad mood. Yeah. You're not able to. I know, yeah. Yeah. You used to be sat there going, oh, it's so annoying. Oh, what my wife got. And the teacher's going, wipe that smile off your face. It's just there. And I get out. Oh, no. My wife got caught in a net yesterday. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God. I had a huge tax bill this year.

6:56It must be annoying for them. Yeah. Yeah, no, I flipped. I feel sorry for the dolphins again. Well, no, but I mean, I... Can we Google? Can we find out if there is an unusual amount of dog shit in Paris? Okay. I know. If this is an observation that other people have made. I know dolphins have sex with turtles. They have sex with anything dolphins. They are little... You can't kink shame them. They're kinky dolphins. They are kinky, aren't they? Yeah. It says dog waste in Paris is a famous cultural and urban issue rooted in history. Yeah. Knew it. Right. Okay. Knew it. Interesting. They tried to use a specialised fleet of vacuum motorcycles to clean it up in 2002 Yeah Vacuum motorcycles Feels like it's not that complicated an issue You don't need like vacuum Just pick up your dog shit Just pick it up and Yeah Pop it in a bin They say they're waiting for the street cleaners to do it rather than them doing it themselves Right So they think they shouldn't have to basically Yeah Arrogant yeah I'm not sure about that it's been a while since we've had a little ruck with France isn't it could this be this is it is it let's try and do a 200 year one this time let's try and beat the record the 100 years war 100 years that is that is high that is high that is a bit high but how is your foot though Joe can you get through this um I was about to say I'll try and keep it brief, but we did a whole bit on dolphins that came from nowhere.

8:47No, my foot's... I have had some paracetamol and it seems to be subduing it down a bit. But all I'm just saying is it is just a wound. I mean, there's no two ways about it. I saw inside my foot. It's just a good job you're not walking through Paris right now. Yes, exactly. Get infected as fuck. Yeah, it does feel like... Unless the street cleaners have been. So it is actually a cultural thing, isn't it? It's like saying we shouldn't have to.

9:17No. I say not. But why is it just dog poo? Like, just chuck everything on the ground then? Just throw all your litter on the... Where do you stop, Joe? Well, yeah, if it's a street cleaner's job, then... Where do you stop? What you were saying about littering, if I... I mean... Say if I saw my kids on the street and they were hanging out with their mates or something like that. because I remember when I was a kid, like I remember my mum called me swearing. I was with my mates and I was just like, I was about, I don't know, 11 or something, 10. I was just like, oh, fuck off. James! And I was like, look behind me.

9:51I was like, oh no. If I saw my kids littering, I genuinely, I think I'd be a bit heartbroken. I would be so, so ashamed. I'd be like, that's not, that's not on. But I don't think they would. I don't think I think they've got a bit about my boys isn't it it's so needless it makes everything look fucking horrible and yeah I just yeah someone's got to clean it someone comes and picks it up I just don't understand it it's like saying I want to be a dickhead in my life that's what I identify as yeah fuck you lot don't do it I wonder if there's something we can, some sort of movement. This is something I would get behind.

10:44Again, it feels like something we'd be able to tackle. But this is what I mean. I feel like in general, most people don't litter because most people say, all things being equal, I'm not going to deliberately make the world worse for other people, just sort of for no. Because how difficult is it to just find a bin and put something in it? It really is just not, essentially, it's nothing. it's putting something carrying something around and putting it in a job in is a non-experience that isn't suffering it isn't trouble it's nothing it's nothing i just wouldn't it doesn't even qualify as an effort i wouldn't physically be able to do it i think i wouldn't be able to do it and walk away i think i'd be like oh i've got to go back and get that i got i can't just let that i know it's just i've dropped things out of my pocket that is rubbish yeah and like i've got i can't just i can't leave that yeah it's just a really really weird kind of perverse acts of cruelty to litter i just don't know why you would do it but what i mean is like it feels as though in general what i'm saying is if it was as easy not to litter as it is if it was as if it was as easy to kind of reverse climate change as it is to not litter people would do it no one no one deliberately wants to fuck stuff up but it's just because people are part of like gigantic systems that they probably rightly feel they don't really have the power to right the The eyes are closing.

12:06All right, fine. Before we move on, do we want to talk about the podcast nomination? Yeah, we've been nominated for... Yeah, what is it? That's a great question. Well, shortlisted. I keep saying nominated, but shortlisted. I mean, is that nominated? Yeah, it's a nominate. Yeah. We've been nominated for Best Comedy Show at the British Podcast Awards. Is that right? Right. I've seen the other people that are nominated. We're not going to win. I don't think we're going to win, no. I don't think we're going to win. We're not going to win. First of all, my favourite podcast that I like, or we're up against.

12:38Is that Film vs. History? Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. That's my favourite podcast. First thing I was like, well, it's not like that. Yeah, that should... But then, if that's not bad enough... No, there's loads. Partridge. Oh, yeah. And I've got a history of losing out awards to Coogan. I mean, it's not... It's nice to be nominated. Absolutely brilliant. It's brilliant. I'm very happy with that. But also, again, I'd be like... I feel like the integrity of the competition... like this shouldn't be nominated for a award. Well, yeah. I mean, even friends of mine were messaging me being like, it's quite prestigious considering the content of your podcast.

13:13And I'm honestly like, 30 % of the time, I think we're literally talking about like wiping our bums. Or dolphins fucking. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's really, yeah. And it's limited. We've only got about four topics. And we just talk about them over and over again. Or we just repeat stuff that we heard off the Ricky Gervais podcast. Yeah, there's that as well. Also, it's just a kind of, it's like a tip, really, of shit, recycled stuff. I think it'd be hilarious if we won, though. I think it'd be so funny. Because I would go to the other, if we won, I'd be going to the other nominees. You must be furious.

13:45You must be so angry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But the other podcasts, objectively, the other podcasts that have been nominated are better. I'm not saying that we're shit. We are shit. This podcast is shit. Like, I'm not. I'm not under any pretense we try our hardest I'm honestly trying I don't want anyone to say that I'm not I really am trying hard I just know now that even if it's an experiment in how good I could be if I try and this is how hard it is but I'm not so far away with the fairies that I can't look at what we do objectively and go well that shouldn't be going anywhere near an award yeah yeah you know I don't really I don't put any work into this or what I would say is that there are like there are grown ups who make it seem like it's that's it yeah I think it should be a production awards yeah the people I mean I think it is I mean if really when I saw that I thought that is basically some people have managed to take a load of dross and make it look as though if there's anything good about this podcast it's not down to me no exactly that's what I mean it's really it's like the pet guardiola problem or the whoever it is what are we talking about Nolan we're saying like Nolan he's like guardiola like he just starts with brilliant people and then oh well of course it's brilliant whereas the producers of this have taken some real shit basically and like they've made it seem like it's quite good The Clists are like Sam Allardyce.

15:27That's exactly it, yeah. They've come in. We're in the relegation zone. They've kept Hull up. It's January and we're in the relegation zone. Yeah. And we need to now defend. Yeah. We need to park the bus for the next couple of months and we might scrape through and stay in this league. So they've signed, you know, a journeyman defender. They've got Jermaine Defoe back in. They've got Jermaine Defoe back in. They're going long. He's 42. But he still nicks a goal. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Well, look, I mean, it's, you know, I'm both surprised and proud. Yeah. But primarily surprised. Yeah, yeah. I mean.

16:05Confused, I'm confused. Confused, surprised and confused. Yeah. But is it a judge or judge and jury? Yeah. Judge and jury. Is there a board or something, a committee? Yeah, a committee. Right. They don't like us to start with. They might do. I don't know who, I don't know who they are. the problem is I don't know who anyone is I'm not sure who's in charge of anything just for fun I might go down the Trump route or something ring up no just be like oh it's a fix oh fine this is Russia's fault Russia voted for VIN versus history we'll have that in the that's our backup plan I bet they've been doing lots of stuff on Rasputin and things like that Catherine the Great Catherine no Catherine she was the great wasn't she?

16:56Catherine the great Ivan the terrible that's yeah they won't touch that if they want their Russian bots to get them the award oh I see sorry that's what you're yeah yeah Peter the great is the one Peter the great he was Norwegian Swedish no he fought he beat he was invaded by Sweden Peter the great sorry I'm thinking of Frederick the bloke that he was up against Frederick of Sweden. Yeah. Is it that? Yeah. Didn't he sort of... Peter the Great defeated a Swedish invasion. I think it was Frederick. By Frederick. I think so. Am I wrong there? I think it was something like Charles the somethingth of Sweden.

17:39That's what I think. Didn't Frederick, didn't he have like two of them on the run? what's that bit around sort of Norway and Sweden that little because you know it looks like a limp dick yeah and then there's that sea in the middle of it what that what's that what that sea called Baltic Sea Baltic Sea yeah the Baltic Sea yeah yeah so but he was he was trying to get some ports back Peter Peter was trying to get a port in the Baltic isn't that where Leningrad is now yeah I think maybe that was part of Sweden or something yeah it was something like that and this is award winning stuff no this is great listen and in our defence right because I like talking about history a lot and you're let's face it a historian you've got a Cambridge degree in history I do that is true Finn and what's his name Horatio which is a pretentious name well yeah I mean it suits you yeah but I do genuinely quite like that name actually but when they do their bits because I did it you were supposed to do it as well but I didn't think you could make it or something oh yeah you went on it and I couldn't do it all it was loads of fun and they are really really funny But they've got a TV screen, a little TV screen underneath the camera that talks about all the history.

19:16Oh, OK. So they've got all that stuff that we were doing then. What was his name? Frederick, Peter, who's that? What's that? They've got it all there ready for them to go. So listen, leave me out of it. I'm just saying. It's just. I'm just saying, if you're going to give them an award, let them know. Just let me know they're cheaters. Yeah. And maybe the little helper should get an award. They're dirty little liars. As old Jeremy Carl used to say. Of course he's the child's father. Because you're a dirty little liar. It was great when that bloke smacked that card off his head. That was one of my most favourite clips on the internet, that Jeremy Carl.

19:59And his hair sticks up. I love it. Jeremy Carl was a daytime TV show, Joe. Right. So I know. That working class people would. No, no, I know Jeremy Carl. Can I have a tiny, I'm sorry, my foot's hurting so much. Can I just, just for two seconds, can I just have a tiny break? Let's have a little break because Joe is struggling with his foot, bless him.

20:24I'll get through this, Joe. Thank you. You just sit there and look pretty. Okay. Okay. Right. Let's actually do this podcast before Joe passes out. Yeah, I think I'm all right. Yeah. We'll be okay. Yeah. Welcome to Joe and James Facts Up, a podcast loosely about facts, but there's more about the chats. If you want to get in touch with us, our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330. Or you can follow us on our socials at joeandjamespod. and you can watch our full episodes on YouTube and Apple Podcasts. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up. Now, let's get fact up.

21:25mums for just$8. A fresh look and savings? Even better. Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's. In-store and online. Valid through 9-9. While supplies last. Mums sizes vary by location and exclude Alaskan Hawaii. See store at lowes.com for more details. This summer, wherever you go, take your favourite podcasts with you. I've downloaded six episodes of Help I Sexed With My Boss. That's a long flight. No, that's just getting through security. Our group chats basically You become Get A Grip. Every week, someone's sending clips from Andrew and Vicky. I'm on UK True Crime. Walking the dog, heading to the pub.

21:59Oh, it's totally become my thing. Well, I listen in the hot tub. I haven't dropped my phone in. Well, yeah, anyway. Wherever summer takes you, hit follow on your favourite podcasts and search Audio Always on any podcast app to discover your next favourite listen.

22:17You guys have been sending us some really fucked up stuff for us to discuss. Oh, Joe, here's one for you. I believe we've got a pun believable. Lovely. Should we play the jingle? I think the band Boyzone is a pun on boys' own. Of course it is. Match of the day is a pun on catch of the day. Fucking hell. I didn't realize that Girls Are Loud was a pun for a while, as in girls are allowed in this club too. And people say, you know, there's no new land left to discover. Well, in the mind there is. Is. Is.

22:56Great. So we've got one here from Julian. Oh my God, my mind's been blown, Joe. No, I've just read that this is a really good one. Yeah. Wunderbar is a pun on the German word wunderbar. Yeah. German for wonderful. Yes. Can't believe I just figured this out yesterday, said Julian. That's a brilliant one. There's always nothing more to say about that. It's just a really good one. It almost is... It's the kind of thing that could get the feature going on its own. Yeah. It's a leader. That's classic. Classic Pum-believable. That's classic Pum-believable. Well done, Julian. And you used the form...

23:29Vintage. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I think I've got another one here from Shane. Shane says, hey, gents. Big fan of the lid. Is that meant to say pod? Big fan of the lid? Is that just... I think that's your hat or your hair. Yeah. I think he was meant to say pod. I think it probably is because we don't have one. Even if it does mean hair, we don't have one hair between us. No. Big fan of the lid. Hey, John James, I like your head. After hearing your new feature, I stumbled onto a pun. I never realised was a pun in the... This one's good as well. Sorry, if I can read, we'll get through this.

24:10I stumbled onto a pun I never realised was a pun. in the name of the album Take Off Your Pants and Jacket by Blink 182. Jacket has two meanings. I knew that one. I didn't know that. I think it's a bit spoiled by the fact that taking off your pants is not exactly a double entendre. It's like take off all your clothes and jacket. Yeah. They are silly boys. They're silly boys. Blink 182. Blink 182? I think it's Blink 182. I can't remember. There was a... Yeah. I remember there was a definite at one point. I think I'd been saying it wrong. I think 182 is good. Thanks for that, Shane. Yeah, jacket does have two meanings.

24:56Yeah. It's either a thing that you put on if you're a bit chilly outside or wanking. Wanking off your penis. Which is brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. Is this another one from Lee? Yes, it is. Hi, Joe and James. not sure if this falls into the category of pun believable but we'll be the judges of that but I had no idea that the drink tango is named as such because they aim for it to be tangy that's a shame because we've had two really good ones there and Lee's fucked it it's a go at getting it to be tangy now Lee I don't think it is a pun believable is it never took the time to read a can i've always just thought it was a wank fanta blew my tiny mind anyway thank you both for making my commute to work my mildly more enjoyable five stars cheers lee go tango yeah yeah go it's got the word tang in it it's got a tang tango it's tangy i don't think there was any uh ambiguity with that one i think it was I see because it's supposed to be but is he saying that it's a pun as in it's they're having a go at making it tangy or is he not saying that I think you're trying to help him out no I think I'm actually not helping him out I think it's fine no it's not if he was saying that I'd say that's too much of a stretch if he's just saying that it's tangy tango I think you're trying to help out Lee here no actually I see well tango's a dance I think I think we should just have a moment of silence and just let Lee's message hang in the air

26:40hello hello hello anyway i don't know it's no we appreciate that message lee thanks it's just really nice for anyone to write to us absolutely absolutely and also i'm glad it blew your mind yeah i'm glad you took something from it um but i do prefer fanta as well not the american fanta that stuff's glow in the dark have you seen that no oh my god if you could I don't know what situation you'd be in. Oh, there's videos on YouTube about it. If you can get a bottle of European Fanta and American Fanta. You can locate them in a dark room. You put them side by side. They look mental. The European one looks like a nice fizzy orange drink.

27:24You've got dog shit in it. Well, it depends. If it's in a Paris bottling factory, then probably. Well, it's not their job to get the shit out of the bottles. It's the street cleaner's job. How many French people do you think listen to our podcast? Probably not many. They're quite classy, aren't they? I don't think they're... Like, we're not. They won't be like... I mean, yeah, they are. They're meant to be classy and all that. Just because it's the street cleaner's job, it doesn't mean you just shit all over the street. You know, why? So what? There's other stuff. No, no, you're not going to put them out of work if you don't provide them with dog shit.

27:56That's something that fucking...

28:01Move on. I can't remember his name. Okay. It's time for facts. I'm lucky for him because he was about to get skewered. Whatever his name is. Yeah. It's time for fact check where we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Then we're going to have a good think during the break. We'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us and to decide whether it passes our fact check. So this week's fact check comes from Rory, who sent this in this very straightforward statement. Boiling water freezes faster than room temperature water. Go well, sweet peas. Rory.

28:40I love that. Because peas are frozen as well. So he's kind of connected it together. It can be. It absolutely can be. Can be. We're going to get on the case and we'll be back with the facts. Stats. Stats.

29:18We'll be right back. valid through 99 while supplies last selection varies by location see lows.com for more details soil offer excludes alaska and hawaii this summer wherever you go take your favorite podcasts with you i downloaded the surgeon of saint helena series for the flight well i bet you finished it yeah before we landed we put the jack and ash show on for the road trip and somehow we took the wrong exit because we were laughing worth it if you got to finish the episode well i listen to the holiday expert show every week. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're always trying Chelsea's tips. They've saved me a fortune.

29:54Wherever summer takes you, hit follow on your favourite podcasts and search Audio Always on any podcast app to discover your next favourite listen.

30:06Right, welcome back to Joe and Jones Fact Up. We were just fact checking on the behalf of Rory, who wanted to know if boiling water does freeze faster than your standard room temperature water. Now, I've heard the same thing, and that's usually what I go with. If I've also heard a similar thing, but... Why would it be true? I don't know. Oh, I think I know why it's true. Is it something to do with things moving? Molecules or atoms? This is just one. This is my only guess. This is all I've got. is that in general things expand as they get hotter and shrink as they get colder but water is an exception water expands as it gets colder so yeah your pipes burst if you sometimes say you put a bottle of wine in the freezer do you want to chill it down quickly if you forget about it.

31:10I've done it with beer. Yeah, and it pops out. So maybe... No, I'm tripping myself up here because I'm saying it's also expanding because it's heating. So maybe it expands if it heats and it expands if it's... Maybe water, does it expand when heated and expand when... Water doesn't expand when heating. It evaporates. In the steam, doesn't it? Yeah, I think I've... I don't think I've... No, keep going. Okay. My idea was going to be it's already expanded a bit because it's boiling. So why doesn't it expand all the way and freeze? Right. It doesn't sound right, does it? What are we saying? Is this fact up?

31:55I'm saying that boiling water is already a little bit like snow, essentially. Right. Okay. That's what I'm saying. It doesn't sound right. If it was, we would have solved climate change. Here's where my brain's going at the moment. One, I've heard the same thing. but also why would it not take longer to cool down if you took a boiling cup of water and a room temperature cup of water and put it in a freezer surely the cooler water is already halfway yeah i i heard that basically like if you put have you ever seen those things where people get a cold bottle of water and they like tap it and then something happens to it and it just becomes frozen.

32:36It just sort of blooms. Oh, wow. Because it's just one notch away. Maybe. And then there's something about, well, again, something about moving it, jolting it. And I assume when you boil water, it's all flopping about, isn't it? It's all bubbling about. Yeah. So the stuff that's in the water, I think it's atoms. The atoms are already excited. Yeah. And therefore, it's easier for them to freeze for some reason. I'm willing to believe that this sort of has the feel of something that's true. But I don't know. I'm going to say it's fact. It's a weird world out there. Yeah. And I think based on that, it's fact.

33:17It's unbelievable sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes it's unbelievable. It's a bit round the twist, this fact. It is. It's a bit like, whoa. It's weird. It's weird. You're going round the trees, trees, trees, trees. You ever, you ever felt like this? And strange things happen. You're going round the trees. Going round the trees. Eerie Indiana. Same show? Some of the same stories. Some of the same stories, surely. What are we talking about? Just stinging so much now. Just. Right. I'm going to go. Let's. Have we got any actual... I think it's true. I think it's true. I'm going fact. I'm going fact. Flora, what do you say?

34:06So what it says is that it's a phenomenon called the Mpemba effect, and hot water can sometimes freeze faster than colder water. And that's mostly because hot water evaporates into the air, so there's actually just less water to freeze. Right. Right. So fact. I'm going fact. Okay. That is fact. That is fact up. it doesn't actually well done Rory I'm not sure that after that well how badly is your foot hurting it really really really hurts so we can just say it's fact and move on yeah okay fact up well done does oh okay right I'm worried about Joe's foot so I'm going to move on and present my fact to you Joe okay um it's a quick one okay it's a quick one a well shuffled deck of 52 cards pete gave me this fact just before we started recording um a well shuffled deck of 52 cards have never fallen in the same order never can we say never yes well or just it's unbelievably unlikely let me okay there's now i don't i'm gonna say some numbers now which didn't make sense to me but then i managed to find something on the internet that did explain it to me in a better way yeah oh um there is about eight times ten to the power of 67 possible arrangements okay now well i know what eight times ten is yeah so 80 that's 80 all day long yeah why didn't they just say 80 to the power of i don't know just say 80 that's easy um if every person who has ever lived had shuffled a deck every second since the big bang about 13.8 billion years ago which is actually uh i watched something the other day that's actually being disputed because there's some things that we thought there's some stars that are far too big to be the age they are with it with the big bang with the beginning of the universe i think it was further back they're starting to think maybe the old universe is even older.

36:35Bloody hell, even further back. Imagine that. How far back you all go? How much time do you need? If every person who'd ever lived had shuffled a deck every second for the last 13.8 billion years, we'd still have only explored a tiny, tiny fraction of all the possible deck holders. I mean, that is absolutely staggering. I guess it's some sort of big flow chart, isn't it? So your first card is whatever it is. Your second card, you have 52 options. So now you've got 52 times 50. Even with two cards, you've got 52 times 52 because your first one could be 52 different options. And then for each of those, you've got 52 different second options.

37:22So you've got 52 lots of 52 and that's with two cards. So it is going to get high quite quickly, isn't it? It is, I think. Is it just 52 to the power of 52? I don't know. I don't know what any of that means. I feel like something's coming out of my foot, but it feels like a mixture of sort of energy and air. Okay. Well, I'll try and wrap this up then, Joe. No, I don't want to change people. It's just that I actually don't know whether I'm going to get sepsis. Yeah, I want to go home as well. Yeah. My heart rate's raised. Right, I'm going to be quick. Before we go, we've got an extra little message from Freddie.

38:02Now, we've got to read this because it's called Bin Laden's porn. Yeah, we should. And there's no way that I'm not discussing. How is he in my search history? Bin Laden porn. Bin Laden porn. Yes, Bin Laden porn. What are you into? I'm really into Bin Laden porn. Bin Laden porn, yeah. Just like in a cave. Yeah. Right. Freddie says, hello, I know this treads the fine line between fact and celebrity gossip. He's not a celebrity. It's not a celebrity. There was a thing that came up on my Instagram. It was like, last pictures of famous celebrities. And there was like one of John Lennon. And I was scrolling through it.

38:43And then it was one of Saddam Hussein. And I went, he's not a celebrity. No, not really. That's not a celebrity. Like if he was still alive, he's not going to end up in the big brother house.

38:57Hello, I know this dreads a fine line between facts and celebrity gossip. uh but the 3am girls are talking about this um but i'm going to submit submit it anyway because i think it raises some interesting discussion i remember when seal team six slotted poor old bin laden is he a bin laden fan well he's a celebrity celebrity yeah um i wasn't there i remember seeing it on the news thanks freddie anyway the reports were uh the reports after this was that he was found with an immense library of porn in his possession. Would love to hear your thoughts as to the validity of this. I mean... Well, no, and he's put some potential talking points.

39:41What else did he get up to in his spare time? Oh, yeah. Cluedo? This is him, actually. He's actually helping us structure the podcast. Do you think he was a magazine kind of man or a DVD chap look forward to hearing your thoughts i promise i'm not a weirdo or pervert love the podcast i find it especially funny that bit you guys seem to dislike the most is bringing facts to the pod yeah no it's keep up the good work you both never fail to make me laugh freddy thanks freddy hey listen and it's nice that he's actually he's actually doing a little bit of the um he's written this as if he's like helping us i did i have seen things that sort of allude to this i wonder whether there was an attempt i mean this is turning into a sort of bin laden defense forum yeah i wonder whether there was an attempt to sort of rubbish him after he like and also by the way he wasn't like wasn't it there's a line in the simpsons where like they all get their skateboards confiscated and they're like and you know the police are just playing with them like down the station.

40:46So it's like the idea that like, and he wasn't even, he wasn't even within his own terms, you know, virtuous, even in the way that he. They did the same with old Boney. The same with Napoleon, didn't they? Ah, okay. That he was short. He was short. Whereas if you do, it was famous propaganda. Ah, okay. Yeah. That he was definitely, I think he was above average height for the time. He wasn't a short man at all. and this might be although I don't know if Bin Laden really needs to be smeared anymore yeah no it's fine if that's the one where it's like well you know I could probably see where Bin Laden was coming from you know he had all that porn no way not my Bin Laden well I know that I doubt he had when he says magazine or DVDs does he mean pornographic magazines Yeah, that's what...

41:43Well, I think it would have been magazines because I think they had to live really kind of under the radar. I'm not sure they had... He was very wealthy, Bin Laden. I know, but didn't they also... In order to capture it... They would have had those little portable DVD players. I saw an article where they were saying, basically, it was like hunting somebody from the past because they were all not on the internet. They were all very kind of like... Well, just... I'm not saying... You could have a DVD player. I'm not saying he was on the... He was on the internet, no. I'm not saying he was on the internet.

42:07I think low tech. But I think he could have had one of those portable DVD players. He might have had a portable DVD... Yeah. One of them. When DVD players first came out, the idea was that they all came with a screen. It was like, what's that? It was a DVD player. Yeah, it opened up. I've got a little thing that slots onto the back of my original PlayStation 1 that's a portable screen. Oh, interesting. They brought those out for a bit. Yeah. I've got one of those because I'm a little nerd. Well, maybe you have one of those. You had a PlayStation 1. Maybe. What else did he do? What else did he get up to?

42:43he was what else did he get up to do you like my spare time cludo i've got cludo i've got the cludo app on my phone and i you i play it quite regularly it's a great board game it's a good board game yeah because it's actually about logic and like yeah yeah and you've got to whittle everything down yeah yeah yeah and you can make kind of double bluff accusations yeah like just very briefly with cludo the idea is that you take two things that you know to be true and then you test it's the classic you control the variables yeah you're just there's one variable that you can that that you're well you've got your cards others that are fixed yeah so you do and also but you could double bluff that you could pretend you keep going also you got a look you got to pay attention to what everything's in the room what are other people doing because they might say the pipe in the library kernel mustard and you might have kernel mustard in the pipe well that's and then and then the person then shows the shows secretly shows the card and then you go well i've got the other two so i know there can be double bluff so like if somebody keeps saying uh i think it's plum with the lead piping in the in the conservatory and then the next one it's plum with the lead piping in the library and then it's plum with the lead piping you're like they must have plum and the lead piping yeah but they could be double bluffing as well they might not have it they've they yeah they might have worked out who it was and what with do you remember when you're a kid and you're obsessed with like whether it was you or not it was like it can't be me how could I'd be the murderer.

44:04Because it can be one of the characters. Because you play as the characters. There's no punishment for if you solve it and it's you. You're like, well done. I always loved Colonel Mustard. I liked Plum. Professor Plum. Professor Plum. I think I always thought I was going to be a marine biologist when I was young. Miss Scarlet. Sexy. She was, wasn't she? But beware. She was sexy. Because, you know, that's when she kills. I think she was sexy in the 90s and then in the 2000s they updated the Cluedo box and they gave them all weird little heads, really thin necks to make it look like the pieces that you played with.

44:40And I was like, well... Yeah, like a Pez dispenser. Yeah, I haven't got a portable DVD player like Bin Laden. I need to use Miss Scarlet on the Cluedo box. Or, you know, Mrs. Peacock, more of a sort of milf. Mrs. Peacock, more refined, yeah. Was she elderly? Was she elderly? Yeah, she was grey-haired, but she still had a body on her. Great bod. Yeah, really good. You know, she... You keep the pearls on. You could tell she looked after herself. And what about the cook? Mrs White. Chef White. Mrs White. No, yeah, she was a bit more... She wasn't the bit of me. I wouldn't have had it off. I would have gone scarlet first, then peacock.

45:25And then if I've still got... Or imprisonment. In the rec room. If I've still got some energy, then I'll give up. All right, don't take Miss Scarlet to the toilet, you dirty brother. Bring it back. I'm not going to do anything. A likely story. Bring it back to the table. Right. I'm all fact out. Yeah. I mean, I think I need to go to the hospital, genuinely. Like, it really, it feels, it's getting to the point where I can't work out whether it's pain or pleasure. Right. Okay. What have we learned today, Joe? I can't even remember. I can't remember a fucking thing. Can anyone remember what we've learned?

46:00I'll tell you what we learned. I did a fact about those cards. Oh, the boiling water thing, maybe. I don't know whether that... I wasn't actually totally sure that that... Oh, we had some really good pun-believables. We did have some good pun-believables, yeah. That wunderbar. Yeah. That one. That's the highlight of this week's episode. Yeah. We hope that you've learned something or had a nice time. It doesn't necessarily need to have been both. But we'll be back next week armed with more facts. chats and stuffing packs of cards. And don't forget you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us.

46:39Our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330. You can also follow us on social media at joandjamespod and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. Bye guys. Thank you. See you next week.

46:58Joe and James Facts Up

47:26savings even better labor day deals are on now at lowe's in-store and online valid through 99 while supplies last mum sizes vary by location and exclude alaska and hawaii see store lowe's.com for more details this summer wherever you go take your favorite podcasts with you i downloaded the surgeon ofst helena series for the flight well i bet you finished it yeah before we landed we put the jack and ash show on for the road trip and somehow we took the wrong exit because we were laughing. Worth it if you got to finish the episode. Well, I listen to the Holiday Expert Show every week. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're always trying Chelsea's tips.

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