Happy Battle Of Hastings Day!

0:01I know you want to get into this episode of Facked Up, but just before we do, you're going to want to hear this first. On Help I Sexted My Boss, quite the mystery is unfolding as Jordan North's microwave has been stolen by one of his mates. It's not exactly something you can sneak out of the house easily. You're going to want to hear how the boys unpack this drama. Search for Sexted and get the episode lined up to play next.

0:30I'm Claire Buckley and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed, then you are going to love my podcast, Pretty Scary. From terrifying true crime, haunting ghost tales, creepy alien encounters and anything weird, it's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything. Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness. Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley. Here we go. This is it. Okay, we're ready. Are you wearing a seatbelt, Joe? I'm not only wearing a seatbelt, I've got a fucking parachute under my chair.

1:11Things are about to get fact up, mate. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James. Fact up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James. Joe and James, fact up. Welcome to Joe and James fact up. Each week, we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting. And our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. We'll unpack it, debate it, and then probably wander off and, you know, start talking about something completely unrelated. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but can't be bothered to do the research yourself in a segment that we're calling Fact Check.

1:51So if you do want to send us your facts, our email is hello at joandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822 034 330. You can also follow us on our social media account, which is at JoeAndJamesPod. Is that TikTok and Instagram? Sweet. Love that. Unified. And also you can watch our four episodes. Please, can we just get everything more efficient? Nothing else matters in this country. Listen, this podcast - Just efficiency. This podcast might not be interesting or funny, but it is efficient. It's fucking efficient. I'll tell you what. You can also watch our full episodes on YouTube. Just search for Joe and James Fact Up and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details.

2:42And I have. Or if someone talked over them. Yes. Sorry about that. Don't you worry, Joe. I mean, you're here to talk, aren't you? It's good to talk. Oh, I'll tell you what. That's what Bobby Oskins used to say. It does, you know. Dead? Dead, of course. But not forgotten. No. I can agree with that. I feel like he is forgotten. He is, actually. I feel like if you asked a 17-year-old girl, what do you think of Bob Hoskins? Yeah. They'd just gob at you. Yeah, I agree, actually. They'd probably get pregnant or something. Is that all right? Anyway. Okay, goodbye to all the female listeners. How are you?

3:20How are you, Joe? You all right? Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Yeah, I'm back in this T-shirt. it's the only one that fits me. Right. Yeah. I'm 23 % fat. I just... 23 %? 23. There was a time in my life where if I was 16 % fat, I was like, God, I was worrying. God, I saw that out. I went on the machine. I was like, stop going up. Yeah. I've not been looking after myself for about a year. I need to get into some kind of routine. You're telling me you've got some special trousers? I've got some special trousers now. Where they look like trousers. They look like nice, sort of smart chinos. Yeah. And then you look at the waistband and it's just elasticated with a little drawstring.

4:03I'm going to call them lockdown trousers. I know that's retro, but I think that is when everyone really went south. I've not recovered from lockdown. I drank so much during lockdown. There was nothing else to do. Yeah, I know. Yeah. All I did in lockdown was like buy like speciality booze over the internet. You're right. I've still got all this kind of like stuff that sort of like lychee liqueur and stuff. Yeah. For cocktail hour. You're right. Because it was cocktail. It was like living on a submarine. It was like, we'd go at one end of our flat to sleep. Yeah. We'd wake up. We'd be like, if you go to the kitchen, we'd be like, not yet, don't ruin it.

4:36Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I was just like, me and Claire were just like, for some reason, four o 'clocked seems like the acceptable time. Fucking great time to drink. And it'd be like one o 'clock in the afternoon. Yeah. And we'd be like three hours to go. Yeah. If it's after midday, you're golden. However... If you go to the cricket, if it's after 10, you're golden. Well, this is my theory, right? Yeah. I always say it's a Saturday. Yeah. It's a lovely sunny day. Yeah, yeah. I'll have a pint at 11. It's fine. I always go to... Well, the pubs are open now. Pubs are open. Don't open them then. Pubs are open now, so we can have a pint now.

5:12Do you remember when in COVID, they were like, don't panic, Britain. We're getting the pubs back open. And it was like, how's that going to help? It was like, well, we'll be drunk. I remember. So we'll feel better. I remember pubs were doing sort of drive-by. Yeah. You could just sort of swing by on your car or something to get a pint. It was brilliant. They'd have a hatch. It was like prohibition. Yeah. Yeah. You had to go around the back and they handed it out, like out of a barn window or something. Oh, I drank so much beer during lockdown. There was nothing to do in famously. I'm not the first person to say this.

5:49I believe it's there to quite significant political shifts but there was nothing to do it was like our Blitz yes and it felt a bit like the Blitz to begin with and then everyone got a bit fed up yeah everyone got bored of it the first one was good and also do you remember when you thought when it seemed like it might change society like it'd make us sort of talk to our neighbours yeah and it did make it seem like it would we'd all have allotments or something we'd grow our own veg and like it was gonna and there were all those videos one of those videos were like the it was like oh, look at this.

6:19It's like a deer just walking down Oxford Street because no one's there. Nature's reclaiming. Nature's reclaiming. Yeah, as if it was 28 days later. I thought it was amazing. If you were nature, if you were like the voice of nature, you'd be like, these people are fucking destroying the planet. And then, and the only thing we can hope and pray for as nature is that one day they'll just stop. Like they'll stop flying. They'll stop driving. There's no reason to think they will. And then during the pandemic, nature must have been like, fucking hell they've done it they've stopped things have come right down and then they've been like oh no they haven't stopped no they're carrying on no they had to stop for a bit but then they carried on a break they had to take a little break but now that's that's what people they always say whoever they are yeah like the best thing for life on earth would be the if humans went extinct yeah because then the rest of life would yeah but then all those deers maybe they'll evolve over the next they might do years or something yeah and you'll have a load of deer people not on my fucking watch no i'm sick of the fucking dear people joe you're not having i know coming over here i don't women i don't want like in our jobs well i think i think what you're talking about is um centaurs are you and it's about yeah time because i've seen them around yeah i don't like them no i don't trust body of a horse head of a man yeah you know oh but if you mention it anyway to tell you one thing about the centaurs Joe bloody good archers they are good aren't they they're good with a bow and arrow I suppose they are what are we talking about

8:06I feel like me and you are scared of the is scared of the present yeah terrified of the future yeah the future is scary yeah because it's also because it's so unknowable. But I do like the idea, and we will eventually get there, it's inevitable, that if you do, you have an accident or something, you lose your leg or your arm or something like that. Or you shit yourself. Or you just shit yourself. Yeah. One day it's a cycle that we're so advanced that if you shit yourself, it'll be dealt with really quickly. By the end of the day, you'll wear new trousers. Well, that's why I've got those trousers up.

8:40Yeah, of course. They just come off straight. They come off straight away, they go straight in the washing machine. no but you lose you lose a leg or something or an arm like it will come to a point where it's like you'll have something better we'll put something better on yeah of course completely and I think people will you better hope you lose your brain because look what's coming in it's the latest I genuinely think people will because you know you mean they'll deliberately slice stuff off I think people will just be like I'll get rid of these arms and can I have some arms that are just quicker and faster and stronger while i was researching facts this week my research is a book it was published in 1890 it's a book of facts from 1890 sure and um it said that the philosopher zeno uh committed suicide when he was 98 because he broke his finger and he was like oh fuck it that hurts i'm gonna die soon anyway like probably by the time it's healed i will die naturally anyway This is what I don't like about philosophers.

9:40Yeah. It didn't say that. Yeah. They claim to sort of care about stuff and wonder and think a lot, right? They're always thinking, these philosophers, and they can't stop bloody thinking. And it seems like the inevitable conclusion is always just, oh, nothing matters. I might as well be dead. And you don't want to go down the pub with a bloke like that. No, you don't. No. Sometimes I worry that - If you broke his finger coming back from the bar, your drinks wouldn't arrive. Because you'd just go back out to look for him. He's just a body. He's killed himself. Oh, he's killed himself. He's like, I've spilled.

10:16He'd be like, I've slightly spilled that pint. Yeah, I've ruined this shirt. But I'm 98. I've ruined this shirt. I'm 98. I can't be bothered to buy a new shirt. I'm going to be dead soon anyway. Imagine killing yourself. I sometimes try and take a sip of coffee from a cup with a lid. and I don't know why but like when it's full it goes a bit down and it kind of blods back up and then a bit goes down and you're like I'm honestly like it doesn't just go down I don't even want to go out have you ever had it where it's just gone straight in your eye yeah I have that actually yeah I've had that it's like a bullseye it misses all around your eye a little blob will just like you drink something and it will plop back in the cup yeah I've had that and a little blob will go straight in you fucking winds me up Joe yeah what can we do we can sort that out it is weird you alright?

11:06has it happened? yes just happened oh no that bit was fizzier than I thought they will fizz up did you ever use the thing where you hit the end with yeah you can sort of razz your mate yeah you can do that with a pint yeah I don't know what it does listen shakes it all up probably it is currently now I don't want to like let people peek behind the curtain too much yeah but as of what episode are we on now episode 4 as of recording our podcast has just gone out this morning. Yeah. For us. Yeah. Thank you. Um, bit stressful, isn't it? It is stressful. Do you know what I mean? Like, you don't know.

11:43We still don't know the words. We haven't got word back whether people like it or not. Um, but we were, we did do a little promo video, didn't we? With the, with the, with the in-betweeners car and stuff. Which I really liked. And that was really fun. I thought it was really fun. Fucking posting that shit. Yeah. is a pain in the arse. I had to post it to TikTok. Yeah. Right? So I posted it on TikTok and it just said this video is ineligible to be, you know, for people to see or something like that, right? TikTok are not going to push it. Yeah. And I think it's because... Is it because of all that vaccine misinformation I put into it?

12:21I think that might have been it. Oh. But it was also... You know, it's too important to me, man. It's really important to me, man. Because they lied, man. And I'm going to fucking get it out there. because I also think it's, you know, anyway, go on. I also think it's because we also posted it on the Joe and James Fact Up TikTok account, right? So TikTok have gone, whoa, wait a minute. You can't post the same video. You're posting the same video as this other account. So you must be like, they're treating me like I'm nicking content or something. Is this, oh, or is this one of these, are you a robot situations?

12:56It's like, well, are you a robot? Well, I'm not. well how come you've managed to set up two accounts yes well listen so it knows i'm not a robot by the way tiktok because there is someone else on tiktok called my tiktok account is called james buckstagram right right it's a long story i can't be bothered to get into that it's all right but it sounds a bit like instagram doesn't it yeah well that's where it comes from one would have thought sort of that you would have done like james o 'clock tiktok yeah i should have done that But there's another account called James Buckstagram with no S. This fucker is still takes everything that I've ever posted and just reposts it constantly.

13:42They're allowed to repost everything that I do. I do the same video. They've got the backing of TikTok. I do. They have. And therefore, the Chinese Communist Party. I've also flagged it up to TikTok and said this person keeps nicking my content and stuff right don't tell them so TikTok don't tell Lenin but TikTok were like why who are you basically well I am James Buckley I am the guy and TikTok was like well you're not verified so listen social media our social media works you want people take all my fucking take all my content repost it like do whatever you want we want to get it all out there listen and if it earns you a few quid like from views or whatever brilliant like I've not got no problem at all that whatsoever What you don't want.

14:26But just say you're a fan account or that you're just, don't just pretend to be me, James Buckstagram. Please. I've tried to get rid of you. You've blocked me now as well. I know for a fact that you've fucking blocked me. Right? Because when I just search for you without using my, without logging in, I can find you. But when I'm logged in, I can't find you anymore. Right? I know that you've blocked me and you know what you're doing. and I know you're watching this. Probably recording as well. Just keep doing it. Keep doing what you're doing. You can use my content as much as you like. I don't have a problem with that.

15:03And if it makes you money, brilliant. That's really cool. I'm pleased for you. But stop like replying to people in the thanks. Like when they go, oh, you're a legend, bro. Just go, oh, it's not really him. Just say it's not really him. And look, James, look, I know how these things happen, right? You tell one lie. You've been swept up. And then suddenly you have to tell more lies. But it's never too late to do the right thing. It's never too late. Jane. Jane Buckstagram. It'll be easier than you think. Yeah, thinking about it, it'd be a hell of a coincidence, wouldn't it? It was like, I've got one thing going for me.

15:46It might be a bloke called Jane Buckstagram that looks exactly like me. that has just done the exact same stuff as me. You know what? I, yeah, it probably is that actually. Anyway, the podcast has gone out. Yeah. And I thought I'd give it a listen. Like a, like. Yeah, that's all right. No, yeah. Right? I didn't really listen to it though. I just let it play on my phone while I was getting ready. Okay. For about 15 minutes, I just left the phone in a different, completely different room to what I was in. But I wanted it to get a listen. Like I wanted like some sort of statistic, right? Do you know what I mean?

16:27You gave it like one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was listening to it. So adverts come on. Like I was listening to it on Spotify and you get those sort of automatic ads that come on. Yeah. What's going on, guys? Right? They were all American. They were definitely not for our audience until whatsoever. Like the algorithm still hasn't, because it's brand new, I guess. I see. There was one advert called Tocovis Forever West. They're a cowboy boot company. Literally a cowboy boot company. It was like, you like your boots shiny? Go to Tocovis Forever West. We'll make sure you get the rad boot. It was all stuff like this.

17:08I was like, anyone listening to this right now does not need cowboy boots. Well, look, but maybe that is our market. Maybe. And can I just say, do head down to Nebraska State Fair for all your saddling needs. There was another one, Wild Alaskan... You know, moonshine. Wild Alaskan Company. They're a fish delivery service. Oh, it's great. I mean, I am in the market for some cowboy boots. Cowboy boots and fish. And I feel like you do have quite sort of American tastes, perhaps. do you think? Yeah, sure. You know, you like an American car? Yes. I do like an American car. Yeah, could be that. Should I get some cowboy boots for next episode?

17:56I think you have to now. Well, it's a Covis Forever West. If you want to get in touch and hook me up with some cowboy boots. I mean, I've mentioned your company a couple of times. It's already been advertised on our channel. And it's been advertised to you as well. Yeah. So get in touch. but yeah yeah it was good is that a good is that a good is that a good chat happy yeah alright right then I'm just going to have a cup of tea I'm going to have a swig of beer we'll be back in a second

18:33I'm Claire Buckley and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed then you are going to love my podcast Pretty Scary From terrifying true crime, haunting ghost tales, creepy alien encounters and anything weird It's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley

19:06Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Jo and James, Facts Up Just quickly, Joe. Yeah. Currently, as of speaking, we are in the top 10 comedy charts on Apple Podcasts. Pretty good. We have had six reviews. Right.

19:29And one of them gave us a four star. Okay. Okay. But the rest of them gave us five stars. That's very good. I'm quite a fan of the mid numbers. Oh, I'm going to give a five star. Why don't I do that? Yeah. There we go. I've given a five star. Hmm. There we go. But that's not bad, is it? That's pretty good. Five, five. Look at this. Four, five, five. Six five stars. Six five stars and one four. Yeah. Something like that. If you like this podcast, give us a review. Five stars would be smashing. Also, I do really like, I listen to podcasts on Spotify, I'll be honest with you. Yeah. And you can comment.

20:08Yeah. You can comment on episodes of Spotify. Yeah. So if you've got anything that you want me to read, you don't have to read it out on the podcast if you just want to get a message to me. Yeah. I'll read them all. Yeah. I feel like you won't, will you? I'm not really a comment. Well, no, I mean, I want to be. You're not a techie. You're not a techie guy, are you? You just told me that your research for our podcast is from a book from 1890. Yeah, I've got a book of facts from 1890. Is it? Right, hang on a minute. So is it a reprint, though? No, it's from 1890. The book is... Yeah, I got it from an antique bookshop.

20:45The book's about 130 years old. Yeah, it's falling apart, actually. I bet it is. Yeah, the spine's fallen off. Yeah. And I think quite a lot of the facts might not be true. They might be dated, mightn't they? They're a bit out of date. They're all things like... They're all like, what a half century we've seen. The telegraph, the steam engine, the automatic printing machine. truly there are very few wonders that seem beyond the reach of mankind well of course it's all that it's all that kind of thing they said in 1900 all the great inventions had already been made it's funny it is that it is genuinely it's funny it's it is like late victorian hubris we do need to talk about our fact we've been told yeah okay um i believe it's you first joe it's time to give me a fact right um just quickly the day that this podcast goes out the transmission date of this podcast is the 14th of October, which as we all know, is the day, it's the anniversary of, and everyone's saying it, listening, of course, the Battle of Hastings.

21:49Yeah, we all knew it was coming. 14th of October, 1066. What are you doing for it this year? Oh, God, I've still got so many presents to buy. I've got to know, what am I going to get? Oh my God, and my dad That's hard to buy for on Battle of Hastings Day. I'm going... I can't give him another sword. I'll be going door-to-door singing songs of people. Yeah. Talking in, like, Middle English. I've got a little eye patch. I've got a little eye patch with an arrow sticking out of it. Yeah, that's good. The kids love it. I'll tell you what. Do you know what? To be honest, Joan, I don't want to be a bit of a downer.

22:28I could take or leave Battle of Hastings Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's for the kids, really, isn't it? It's for the kids, isn't it? I know, that's the thing. They can't get enough of it. I know. And obviously, it's just, it feels like it's a day for retail now, though, doesn't it? It's gotten very commercial. I went into a shop. This won't work because we're saying it's today. The joke would be, oh, they already had all the Battle of Hastings stuff up. They had it a month ago. And it's mid-Shammed. I know, it's insane. I know, it's like as soon as summer's over, they're like, get the Battle of Hastings stuff up.

22:57I saw people because they do all the Battle of Hastings sales, didn't they? Yeah, yeah. And people trampling over each other. It is disgusting. Yeah, yeah. It's ridiculous. It makes me feel really ashamed of society. Yeah, yeah. But Battle of Hastings. And they start the post-Battle of Hastings sales before the Battle of Hastings now. Yeah, these days. It's ridiculous. I know, yeah. Yeah. I'm in the 15th of October. I don't leave the house. I don't go down the high street. Yeah. I love that part of the year, though, don't you? Oh, no, it is nice. With all the stress. It's like you've done the big dinner.

23:27You've done, and then you're like, you know what? It's just two or three days, you know, when the family's finally left. 15th October, you'll see me on the couch. Yeah, I'll be there. Watching a classic Battle of Hastings film. Yeah, absolutely. And just thinking, oh, that's it for another year. The only annoying thing, Joe, is that obviously we're recording this ahead of time. The actual day of Battle of Hastings. I want to know who's going to be Battle of Hastings number one. I know, I know. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. I know it was, yeah, it was Mr. Blobby one year, wasn't it? It was. Hopefully it'll be a genuine, you know, not just something that's been, you know, not just Cliff Richard or something.

24:06I think it was so solid crew a few years ago. Yeah, you never know. You never know. But yes, no, of course. It's worth Googling, actually. Battle of Hastings number one, you'll be surprised. It's one of the biggest days of the year. Always five minutes. The 14th of October. It's a big day. So we have, we've got some Battle of Hastings facts that we're going to present to each other. Yeah, yeah. Joe, you were up first this week. Yeah. Yeah, well, it didn't take place in Hastings. There's a town called Battle. Oh, you're one of those, are you? No, I'm just saying. You're one of those. It's about the Hastings Day and you go, it didn't even take place in Hastings.

24:42It wasn't even on this date. It was in Easter. Well, it took place in Battle and, yeah. And who's from Battle? Keen are the band Keen. The band Keen are from Battle. They're from Battle. So the Battle of Hastings wasn't in Hastings. It was in a town called Battle. Is the town called Battle named after the Battle of Hastings? Yeah. That didn't take place in Hastings? I think so, yeah. Is Battle near Hastings? Yeah, it's quite near. Right. It's still in the phrase, isn't it? The Battle of Hastings. Yeah. How far away? It's like it was in a town called Of. How far away is Battle from Hastings? That's a good fact, though, Joe.

25:22Yeah, thank you so much. I know I was being silly and stuff. No, no, it's all right. and also I just you know I think interesting the keynote from there I don't know I've never have you been to Hastings yes I had a caravan holiday there yeah loved it it's nice it's a good old cobbly beach though if I remember rightly yeah you kind of want sand ideally I might be misremembering if the people of Hastings are listening to this and going no we don't we have a sandy beach I have I'm going back to when I was like 7. Yeah. You're saying that it might have eroded Chinter Sand. It might have done. It might have done.

26:01I'm going back a few years. It's probably sandy now. Yeah, it would be. Yeah. Imagine that. It's an 18-minute drive. It's an 18-minute drive. Okay. Yeah. And also, I think we would say that in terms of that's a long way in 1066. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if Harold had said, don't worry, it's an 18-minute drive. Yeah. They would have said, well, you mean what? Do you reckon that was the problem? Harold turned up at Hastings. Harold went wrong. Because he read the flyer and it said Battle of Hastings. It said Battle of Hastings. And so it was like, right, we better set off to Hastings because he'd just come from up north, hadn't we?

26:38It was probably one of those. What was he doing up north? Was it Vikings or something like that up north? He was fighting Harold Hardrada. I did this in junior school. Yeah. And, yeah, the. Because he wasn't that secure, was he? His place wasn't that secure, Harold. and that's where William the bastard came in because a lot of the noblemen and stuff were like yeah you've got like a very loose claim but come on over we'll support you yeah that's true Keane released their single This Is The Last Time on Battle of Hastings Eve yeah so they were trying to get Battle of Hastings number one I see you Keane you make out like you don't care about Battle of Hastings number one why are you bringing it out on Battle of Hastings Eve?

27:21Joe, should we move on to fact check? Yeah. This is the part of the podcast where you send in something that feels like a fact. I love that saying. That feels like a fact. My brain says that to me so many times throughout the day. Basically, you send us in a fact that feels like it's true and you'd like us to verify it. Yeah. Because we're the fact boys. Yeah. We are the fact boys. The FBs. Yeah. So we'll be reading a fact that you've sent us or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. Bums. Oh. And then. Pun intended. We're going to. Pun intended. We're going to have a good think during the ad break.

28:02A good think. We're going to have a jolly good think. A good think. And we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us. And we'll decide. We won't look anything up. In the first episode, I think we like actually did some work, didn't we? now we're just going to discuss and decide without any kind of research. No, you need to think of me and James as like, when like Galileo was hauled before the Inquisition, and he went, well, I'm saying this is true because I've proved it scientifically. And we're going, well, we're saying it's not true because we're in fucking charge. Yeah. And so think of us like that.

28:35Do you know what, Joe? I don't think you needed to say that. All right. I think everyone already, when they listen to this podcast, in the back of their mind is Galileo being hauled in front of the Inquisition. Joe, do you want to read this week's fact? Okay, here we go. So this week's fact check comes from Cy. Oh, my namesake. Interesting. Hey, Joe and James. I like to be conscious with my calorific intake. Me too. Yeah, you know, these days we all think about it. I haven't been lately. It's all right. Okay. And I heard once that Guinness was the healthiest beer. I told you that. And it has the least calories.

29:17I've never checked. But now, well, you're checking now. So you won't need to now. But now always order a Guinness based off that fact. What do you reckon? Well, Sire, thank you very much for your message. We're going to have a good think. And that is an interesting fact. What do they call Guinness? They call it a pint of, there's an Irish. We'll discuss. We'll discuss after the break.

29:48I'm Claire Buckley and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed then you are going to love my podcast Pretty Scary. From terrifying true crime, haunting ghost tales, creepy alien encounters and anything weird it's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything. Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness. Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.

30:21Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James, Facts Up! Okay, we are back. Welcome back to Joe and James Facts Up. Just before the break there, we had Si, who gave us a fascinating fact. Yeah. He decided that Guinness was the healthiest of the beers. he heard that there was a low that it had the least amount of calories. Yeah. Okay. I feel like, just thinking about this, I feel like it's quite a thick beer, is there? Guinness. Yeah. I don't like Guinness. However, I feel like he might be getting mixed up with the fact that it's hot. There's a lot of iron in it. Yeah. Well, no. So one, two things occur to me straight away.

31:07One is that... If you're anemic. Yeah. Well, I said, for example, I feel like my mum told me that she had a pint of Guinness a day when she was pregnant with me. Pregnant, yeah. Because it has the iron in it. Yeah, Claire was anemic throughout. I think she's just anemic anyway. Yeah, yeah. But it became a problem when she was pregnant with both our kids. Yeah. And she had to take these little, I mean, they've updated it nowadays. Yeah. It was a little sachet that you rip open, you powder and you put in water. Whereas back in the day, it was have a pint of Guinness. Yeah, absolutely. and uh so i mean it's got iron in it i mean i have to say the other thing that occurred to me was that when i was a teenage boy the urban myth was that it had as many calories as a roast dinner so i so i've heard so i suppose what i'm saying is i've heard the exact opposite about i think the i think psi is definitely off the mark with this calorie thing yeah i think i think i think it um perhaps it is good for you what's the thing they call it a pint of in Ireland it's like a pint of brave or something oh is that right it's stout isn't it yeah it's a type of stout but there's a slang for Guinness where it's a word not the black stuff something else it's like no it's like a pint of pride or something is it a pint of pride is that right do you know pint of plain I think it's that a plan plan pint of plan Yeah, that's it.

32:40Is that it? Point of plan. I'm saying false. We found out it's a point of plan. I'm really happy with that. That was really good. That's something I wanted to know. Yeah. In terms of what Si wanted to know, it feels, I'm going to say, actually highly false. I don't think. It doesn't feel true to me. I would say not only is it the lowest calorific intake. It's one of the highest. I believe it is perhaps the highest. Frankly, I think the only point of contention I've ever heard with Guinness is we know it's the highest, but just how many fucking calories are in this shit. I'm not going to eat shit.

33:14It's really nice. But, but, but, but, um, so yeah, I mean, quite, yeah. So you're saying there's more calories in a Guinness than, than a lager. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think there are. I'll go with that. Yeah. When I was temping, um. It's the second time you brought up how you were temping. Yeah. In this podcast. I used to, I used to have a, on a Friday. Yeah. When everyone would go to the pub. Sure. I used to have a Guinness. A little Guinness. Good for you. Guinness and black, a little drop of blackcurrant, maybe? Oh, maybe, no. I've never had that before. Because I kind of thought it was like, it's like lunch then, isn't it?

33:48Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Sorry, Sire. Hey, listen, man, come back with another fact if you've got one for us. But that hasn't passed our fact check. No, no. That one. No, sorry. Is that the first time that we've not passed one? Feel bad. Should we just say it's true anyway? I don't want to make Sire feel bad. If he wants to carry on drinking Guinness, then I support what you're doing. But you need to be proud of the fact that you're drinking Guinness and not shy away. Not be ashamed. In fact, it makes you sound like you're a bit ashamed that you're drinking Guinness. Because it's like, well, I drink Guinness because I've heard that it's less calories.

34:23Just fucking enjoy yourself. It's fine. Don't worry about the calories. Don't you worry about the calories at all. Yeah, I think, you know, you've come to us with this, Si, but I think there's something else going on. so let's know write back in let's know how you're getting on be more honest yeah let's know how much Guinness you're drinking actually yeah yeah how healthy are you being because too much too much of anything yeah because if you're if you're if you're thinking is well there's less calories so I can drink more yeah then maybe yeah maybe we need to have a little chat yeah but it's all fine whatever's happening you can tell us JT we'll read it out we will on the pod JT can I give you my fact for the week yes please of course it's a it's the Battle of Hastings of course it is B-O-H B-O-H-F just a quick one and this is brilliant William the Conqueror yeah ripped his helmet off during battle oh ouch oh you mean accidentally He ripped his helmet off during battle.

35:34Do you mean the end? Oh, I see. Oh, I see. Oh, okay. Okay. No, at the Battle of Hastings, William the Conqueror literally had to prove to his own men that he wasn't dead in the middle of the fight. There was a rumour going around that he'd been killed. So to keep morale up, he ripped off his helmet. Either one would get morale up. Road along. I mean, that would fire me up. I know. It'd be like, fucking hell. Well, fair enough. I guess I'm not hurting compared to that. If he just ripped his helmet off and went, follow me. Come on. Fuck it. That'd be the ultimate fuck it, wouldn't it? If he ripped his helmet off and rubbed it over his face and covered himself in blood.

36:21Like, look, nothing matters. Look, I've ripped that off. Yeah. Nothing matters. What would that guy do, that philosopher? What would he? Oh, Jesus Christ. What did he do? He broke his finger and he killed himself. Yeah, I know. I know. What if he'd ripped his helmet off? I mean, unbelievable. I mean, I think even now, I'm only 38, and I think if I ripped my helmet off, I'd go, well, there's not much left to live for anymore. Yeah, exactly. I'll be honest with you, Joe, I've not got much to rip off down there, so I'm fucking... Yeah. In a way, you'd be reassured. I'd be gutted. Yeah, yeah. So they thought he was dead.

36:53They thought he was dead. He ripped his helmet off, and I've got to stop saying ripped his helmet off. No, you don't. I was just doing that for a joke. No, honestly, you know what? But he took his helmet off. He took it off. He took his helmet off. And he shouted, he was riding along, going, look, look, he was shouting, look at me, I'm alive. Oh. There you go. William the Conqueror. William the, well, William the Bastard, he would have been called then. Ripped his helmet off. Yeah. Mid-battle. Oof, that's going to sting, isn't it? Oh. Oh. Oh, sounds like he was a bit keen. Just try to do a keen pun.

37:31Sure. Just try to do a keen pun. Sure. They weren't there, were they? If they had been there, they could have banged the drum, don't they? The drummer. Yeah, absolutely. That would have been his job. Well, he wouldn't, the morale wouldn't have dropped. A drummer and a singer are both things that you have in an army. Not so much the bass. Is Keen the band that doesn't have a guitarist? I think they've got a piano player. Yeah, they're sort of piano ballads, aren't they? Right, yeah. Yeah. I imagine that doesn't wash with your sort of - I need a guitar. You've got to have a little guitar in there.

38:03Hey, also, Keane. They can't afford one. Well, I'm your guy. You've got to be careful these days. A lot of bands - Hang on a minute. I'm going to try and get in the band Keane now. Okay, okay, okay. I've heard you need a guitarist. Yeah. I'll come. I'll be the guitarist for Keane. Right. Dominic Scott. Dominic Scott. I bet he's kicking himself now. Yeah, absolutely. I bet he was going, somewhere only where you go. no one's going to listen to that. Yeah. Yeah. And to be honest, I've heard the song and I'll be like, yeah, I don't think anyone's going to listen to it either. Fucking massive, fucking massive hit.

38:38Yeah. What do I know? So he left and they just, the wound just kind of closed up around him. They just, they sutured. They sutured the wound and carried on. Who could leave? I don't know what point I'm making here. Go on. Is it interesting to say which instruments could leave and it wouldn't matter or which would matter? It's not really interesting. I think you know the answer to that question, don't you, Joe? Hey, have we done enough? Have we done enough podcast? Have we done enough? I'm getting from you, from your vibe, from the way that you're sighing and stuff. No, I'm not. I want to carry on.

39:17Well, I'm glad you have that attitude because we've got to do another episode straight after this. Yeah, yeah. But I don't know about you, Joe, but I'm all fact out. Oh, I'm absolutely fucked up to my tits. I have had my brains fucked up. I'm just lying back. My brain's been fucked up and now I'm just lying there, like, just fucking ruined. Absolutely. We've been destroyed. Thank you to Sire. God, my husband's been away on an oil rig. Thank you. And he's come back and it's the first night and fucking hell. Thank you to Sire for getting in touch with your facts. Okay. Just because we didn't verify, just because we didn't back your facts up this week, doesn't mean you have to stop getting in touch, Si.

40:02It was a good fact. Keep getting in touch with whatever else you like. Sugar's the healthiest food or something, whatever. We do hope that you've learned something this week, dear listener. We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and fats. Oh. That's the worst one. No, I always thought with the facts. I thought facts worked on many levels. Oh. And you were both saying how fat you were earlier. Good point, actually. Thanks. It's fair enough. Hurtful. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you. Yeah. Or whatever nonsense that you want to, whatever nonsense message you want to get to us.

40:43Our email address is hello at joeandjamespod.com. We've got a little WhatsApp group going on. Yep. Our number is 07-822-034-330. And, of course, you can follow us on social media. You can find us. Our name is at JoeAndJamesPod on all the socials. And if you didn't understand anything I said just then, and I wouldn't blame you, you can check the podcast description for those details. Anyway, Joe, should we go fact off? Yeah. I think we'll go to Hastings. don't worry about it yeah we will hey guys thank you so much for listening we'll be back next week with another episode and of course happy Battle of Hastings Day to all you all happy BOH day happy BOH day yes God bless us one and all yes yes Joe and James Facts Up

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