James Buckley Fancies Seagulls?

0:00This week on Help, I sexted my boss. Some lad on one of those line bikes had gone into the back of me car. I've chased him halfway down the street in just me shorts. Why have you not told your bank? You have moved house. Who does that? I'm speechless. You have not done that. He disappeared for a moment, then returned with a suction cup d***, firmly attached it to a book and climbed on top and rode it like he was trying to qualify for the Olympics. Listen and watch wherever you get your podcasts.

0:32I do these evenings sometimes where I sort of kind of answer questions about the in-betweeners people love that though they like it and one of the questions was it was a really good question it was if the in-betweeners was being made now what four young comedians do you think would play the four leads and I was like well that has totally fucked me I mean I can't even tell you I mean I was honestly like well this is I just had to say I don't know any I don't know the names of any young comedians I'm really sorry I guess I'm just not To give us a little bit of credit I think that was a part of the ingredients a part of that little lightning in a bottle thing I don't think anyone else could do the way we did it because we're not good at like I sometimes think as a foursome right I know that's between us between me and you and the boys and stuff yeah some of us are better at some things and some of us can't do other things but us together i think that's the in-betweeners was us at our best i think yeah i think that was like that was what we can do we were greater than the sum of our parts and we can yeah and i said you're a shit really good together part yeah like well i'm just i'm just a lever it is on my own with nothing to lever or a crank or something it's another example because we just we laughed all the way through that yeah there wasn't a point where we weren't crying with laughter we were constantly struggling to do scenes took us take after take after take because we would just uh keep making each other laugh we were constantly being told come on guys sun's going down and stuff like that on like to the point where like when it came out and they edited it together yeah into like little stories yeah called episodes i was like why the fuck you done that why'd you get rid of all the funny stuff that was like a hobby or something you've made a little story out it's weird isn't it of all the mucking around you've made it a kind of it's like a little scrapbook isn't it you've taken bits i wonder if like a sort of patchwork quilt and you've kind of made it into little stories you know how directors do their own cut and um I always wanted to see that cut of like the shittiest takes.

2:51That'd be my... You know, like you get films, it's like the Zack Snyder cut or something like that, or the Richard Donner cut. It's quite a famous one, I think, of the first or second Superman film or something like that. And it's, I don't know, it's always like an hour too long or something or... Is it just all that actor? Ridley. Ridley's always doing his own cut of stuff, I feel like. I've seen the... I wonder if Ian and Damon could go through the rushes or whatever and create a whole new series of the in-betweeners, completely different storyline. They did that with Anchorman. A whole other storyline.

3:31There's an alternate – I might be wrong. I might be talking absolute bollocks here. But I think there's a complete alternate film, Anchorman film, because so much stuff is improvised. And, you know, I did a film with Andy Samberg and The Lonely Island Lot and Judd Apatow. And it was... That's some pretty... And when I was making the film, I was like... And we were doing the scenes in completely different ways every take. And you were really encouraged to just be funny, just try and be funny, just, you know, do whatever, do whatever you want to do. um and when i made that when after i made finished making that film i was like i don't know what they could go in so many directions with this film it could be there's about four different storylines that they could that they could is that yeah i mean and that is kind of more the american way of doing it yeah but i mean is that just because they've got like more time and i think so yeah i think that's what it is that's definitely what it is yeah you you definitely have a lot more um it's literally like first take is like oh just get just sort of what's written yeah and then then they do that in one take yeah and they're like right we got that so that's fine that was the problem with the imitrinas though was the to get to that one take that was a problem i mean they they did spend quite a lot of time and money but it was just to get to that base level yeah the lines yeah so that was the flaw and when you went you just quickly do it as written yeah well we won't quickly do it as well yeah well i remember i kept what do what is written i kept getting told off um for saying that well it's the gist just a bit yeah they're like can you ian did not like that so it was like can you just um say the lines that are written and i was like well it's the gist of it isn't it yeah that's pretty much what you're trying to say yeah yeah but yeah i suppose i've got mixed feelings because like on on one hand i know they have been through like eight or nine drafts of each script but then on the other hand the lines were just stuff like probably up the arse and stuff yeah like well i think maybe you are allowed to just say the gist to be honest you know that's precise yeah yeah and they would have uh and you know for a fact that they would have like fought for having stuff still in the script they would like they would have been they would have battled with channel four the whole way and they're like right great we've made we've gotten to back down we want this line in it and then i'm just going well it's the gist of it you know i mean it's just doing it yeah my favorite battle that they had was about whether one of the films was going to be a 15 or an 18 and it all came down to whether you had to see that man's helmet and arsehole yeah or just one of the two yeah i mean that's weird i think there is i think there's two so you get the you get the helmet at 15 i think they brought out an 18 15 you get the choice yeah and then at 18 you get the package yeah but that is weird i was like i think it was genuinely it was either or that was a weird day You weren't there.

6:45You and Bird weren't there, were you? That was me and Blake. Oh, man, that was really weird. I don't really – I've got a really, really bad memory with stuff. I remember that day when we were shooting that. This is the man who could suck his own penis. Yeah. Yeah. And he bent over in front of me and Blake to get the shot, like to make the shot look funny. Like our faces were so close to this man's arsehole. and me and Blake did just look at each other and were like, what the fuck are we doing? What is this? I remember going, I remember genuinely having like really ups and downs during that first film.

7:25That first film was just as terrifying as it was to me because it was fun. And I think a lot of people have forgotten what a risk it was for us to do that film because nobody had made a film off the back of a sitcom for decades. It was almost a bit of a joke and how it probably wouldn't work. That was it. The only show that had done it at that time, which I kept bringing up on interviews, was Sex and the City because it was a point of comparison. Right. And I liked Sex and the City. I'd seen all the episodes. Okay. And it just did seem, you know, there were four of them, four mates and it seemed like...

8:12One of them's a bit of a pervert. One's a bit pervy. One's a bit of a nerd. Has one got glasses? One has got glasses. Miranda's probably got glasses, hasn't she? Who's Miranda? The lawyer one. She'd have glasses, would she? I've never watched any Sex in the City. Sex and the City. Maybe she thinks it's Sex and the City. What is it? That's a peep show, isn't it? Yeah, a peep show. And she did think it was Sex and the City. but that was the only one and I kept saying I kept bringing so the interviews about the first Inbetweeners film were people that we were talking to trying to bring up on the buses and me countering with Sex and the City oh wait can we actually cast you guys as Sex and the City because I'd like to see that story we'll do a script read but I mean also it's got the voice over of course So you've got Carrie, I suppose that's Will, really.

9:09I mean, you'd be Samantha, you know, the one with the, you know, the sassiest one. Yeah. Sassy. But the one with the closest proximity to Carnal Affairs. Right. Right. Oh, and who's left? You've got Charlotte and Miranda. I suppose I'm Miranda. Yeah. That's the lawyer you said. Yeah. Yeah, Neil's not a lawyer. You know, it's more that Neil can't beat Miranda than that Simon is Miranda. It doesn't, I'll tell you what, it doesn't quite work. It doesn't quite work. The comparison of the Inbetweeners to four sort of get up and go professional ladies in 90s New York. But. It doesn't quite work as a comparison.

9:54But to give us a little bit of credit, because I know we, you know, we certainly don't give each other credit, especially for something like the Inbetweeners. Never give an A. It's just fucking nonsense. Yeah. But I genuinely think without that film, without us making the Inbetweeners movie, you wouldn't have had Alpha Pepper. You wouldn't have had, do you know what? That's the best example. That's right. You wouldn't have had the Keith Lemon movie. Yeah. I don't know if I want to be blamed for that, to be honest. Without us doing our film, our TV show, quite a lot of quite bad films. Wouldn't have been made.

10:30Wouldn't have happened. So you're welcome. No one's ever thanked us for that. No. for bringing you know oh there goes the in between us must remember to thank them yeah we don't do it we don't do it for that do we I don't do it for that I didn't I don't do my career because I want to be thanked for the Keith Lemon movie absolutely not and yeah I never saw the Keith Lemon movie to be honest with you did you see it Lily May no it's not crossed my desk Lily May really likes comedy

11:03bean worked of course yeah bean yeah completely forgot about bean that's a great film that first film is incredible bean um bean seemed to me that it worked because it seemed that the it felt mr bean always felt like more like a sketch show than a sitcom which I think is it so it felt like these are the preliminary building blocks for something bigger anyway it felt like you kind of go sketch show sitcom film like and I think whereas with I think with sitcoms you do have an arc of sorts it's just it's a different arc to the one that you would get in a film whereas if you so Bean felt like a more natural move to to film keep talking keep going Mr Bean played by Ryan Atkinson directed by Mel Smith directed by Mel Smith the first Bean film and I just remember it had the guy from Ghostbusters 2 in it I think he was in what's that drama, that American drama 90s drama it was quite big, it was about like a lawyer that was just sort of having sex and stuff, I don't know, I never watched it no Ally McBeal Ally McBeal that's it I think he was in that I miss those shows that sort of didn't have a hook you know a show that I really think should I mean it has just because it has been put back on iPlayer recently but This Life right it was just sort of about some people yeah I feel like everything's very kind of Andrew Lincoln yeah yeah I watched it everything feels very kind of concept-y now it's like I just would like to Ally McBeal it's like what's the person called Ally McBeal what do you want me to tell you yeah That's a woman's name.

12:53She's called Ally McBeal. The show's called Ally McBeal. And it's about Ally McBeal. Fuck you. Either watch it or don't. Exactly. But I like that. It was just like, well, you know, we'll make it. I assume it was interesting. Should have been. I think it was quite a big show. I'm watching. Calista Flockhart. I'm watching ER at the moment. That's a long way back. Yeah. You're trying to sort of. It's just quite good. Yeah. There's some great characters in it. Some brilliant drama. Some brilliant stories. like a really good ensemble. It's almost like a soap, but more of a sort of aesthetically higher looking sort of soap.

13:36I was about to say, do you know what the interesting thing about ER is? I think that George Clooney could really go on and do something. But then I thought about what I was about to say, and it's not interesting, but it was it was shot it was produced by here you go it was produced by Steven Spielberg to begin with I tell you what my favourite sort of fact is a fact about who people who've produced things yeah and it's it's created by Michael Crichton that actually is quite interesting Jurassic Park yes and and it was originally shot like a film you okay bless you it was originally well you snosed it over there they shot they shot it like a they shot it like a film so they shot it widescreen on proper film and stuff like that okay so obviously it was like that what do they call it four by three or something back in the 90s so if you watch it now it's all on netflix now er if you're interested um but it's it fills up your whole screen oh because the original um that is interesting i think that is interesting no and i knew it wasn't interesting it was interesting i shouldn't have started that sentence with here's an interesting thing about it yeah spielberg had enough of a kind of house style that you could tell it was a spielberg production when you watch something well it was the tv even when it was television it was the tv arm of his production company sort of thing is it just that he did that i always thought i had this kind of really good read on what was spielberg i was acting but is it just because he had had the the four by three or whatever it was the 16 by nine yeah um But it was...

15:11Two by four. But it's all... There's so much stuff that's just one shot. This is why Claire hates watching TV shows with me and stuff as well. Because I've got a little idea of how things are made. And I can sort of appreciate what the actors are having to go through at that point. I'm not really watching the drama unfold. I'm watching it going fucking hell. You're just trying to help Claire appreciate that as well. Does she not appreciate it? I'm watching stuff... What's she doing just trying to follow the story and stuff? I'm watching stuff going and I'm thinking, fucking hell they've been on this same shot for four minutes and it'll be like different scenes because it's so fast paced in the emergency room of a Chicago hospital so they'll be in like one room and then they'll be like oh Dr.

15:52Green we need you over here and then the camera just follows you to the next room and then there's a whole other scene that they're doing and I was sitting there going fucking hell he's had to learn a lot of lines yeah there are bits when I watch that sort of shot where I'm like yeah I'd be out now yeah where you're like okay keep going yeah i couldn't be in this yeah so there's a specific point i'm like yeah that's what i'd i'm doing something at the moment where um the way it's being shot the way it's being shot is like scenes are happening at the same time so you'll be doing one scene yeah and and it will be like 30 seconds and it will cut to the other scene and then we'll come back to this scene fucking hell what are they doing in the 30 seconds do they just sit down or freeze so when i see the when i see the sides for the day do they just go on their phone so it's basically one scene that's split up into four so I'll just go oh here's the first scene of the day oh I've got two lines I've learnt that oh god I hate that I know exactly what you're talking about and then they go we're going to shoot this all as one scene and I go oh no I've not learnt all of it no of course I've learnt all of it I've learnt the bare minimum I've not done it all yeah yeah that's what's going on in my head but on the outside I go yeah yeah cool yeah yeah great I'm probably a little bit I'll shoot this all in one scene I might know the bit I know most of it I'm more at the top I know the gist yeah let's crack on the first two lines no problem at all whatsoever yeah I'll get those down yeah let's maybe let's maybe just lay those down first have you seen Victoria no it's anyway if you do see her just say alright I said I don't know just honestly honestly honestly man that was a dad joke yeah do you want to hear another dad joke I've come up with do you know who Ottolenghi is Yotam Ottolenghi he writes loads of cookbooks no okay well anyway I think he should be is that important to know I think he should be called Ottolenghi his recipes take longer to cook than you think they're going to it's one for the some people will get that I think it's well known I think it's a thing people the otolenghi i have to say brilliant chef and like yeah and a good i've he's my favorite food person a fine actor a fine actor he's affectionate yeah he's like my favorite food person but his recipes do take a lot longer than you think right and you want to know why because you're doing them yeah it's because a lot of method is hidden in the list of ingredients so you think that So you'll just be like, and then it'll just be like top with the herbs.

18:40But then when you see the list, you see the herbs and the list of ingredients, it's like two tablespoons of thyme leaves removed from that. Well, that's method. You've buried, you've hidden the method. Is this the sort of material that you were using when you and Hannah first started going out? No, this is more like my 2021 Edinburgh show. Right. Just sort of stuff that I happen to. This would have been, I would have put in like, try and do 15 minutes on the herb stuff. It's good. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, I'm liking it. Yeah, yeah. What I did do when me and Hannah first started getting out is I did actually take her to a herb garden.

19:17I think you've told me this. You told me this on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. All your stuff's herb stuff. It's all herb stuff, isn't it? It was very much, I know, a cracking owl sanctuary. Yeah. Anyway, Victoria. Sorry. I'm so sorry. no no no I do honest it was Victoria no I derailed myself Victoria is a film done in one shot and it's really amazing right and it's all on the course of a night out in Berlin

19:50I'm Claire Buckley and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed then you are gonna love my podcast pretty scary From terrifying true crime, haunting ghost tales, creepy alien encounters and anything weird, it's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything. Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness. Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley. I'm a very unique looking person. Do you ever get muddled with me? No. I tell you, you do look like... We spoke about it. You said it just then.

20:32The bloke from Suits. I do get that, yeah. I do get that. I've never really seen Suits, but it's got Meghan Markle in it, hasn't it? Old Marky. Markle's in it. Marky Mark. Not that Mark. Not that Marky Mark. Meghan Marky Mark. Meghan Markle Marky Mark. Mark Bosnich. She... Voduka she would have loved um she would love being on a set with us yeah we're right up her street oh absolutely I can tell that that kind of refined very sort of hypersensitive kind of California mindset yeah would have gone down really well she would have loved us yeah yeah do you remember one time well I say do you remember of course you do um it's what this is one of the things that i'd like to talk like when you know when you when people go oh can you tell us any funny stories from set with you know when we after we've done the in-betweeners like pr people like if you're any funny stories from set i'm like with loads of funny stories but they don't make any fucking sense i'm not gonna be able to i'm not gonna be able to yeah it's again or they're a bit weird oh they're incredibly weird um again it's like watch this video So it's really funny.

21:51Whereas if we were to say a funny story, you know, like one of the times we were making the second Inbetweeners film, we kept getting told off saying, stop laughing, stop mucking about. And then you said, don't hire a tiger and complain when he roar. Yeah, that is true. That was my best work on that film. And then we spent the next hour laughing at that. Yeah. You guys have got to stop mucking about. Come on, we've got to do a film. You're just mucking about. And then Joe just went, and then there was like two seconds of silence. And then Joe just went, don't hire a tiger and complain when he roar.

22:38And I don't know why you said when he roar. Well, I suppose I was, yeah. I don't know, really. No. But that's not funny to anyone else really, is it? Well, there was stuff that I thought other people would find funny. Savourite story that I've heard you tell is about your love for birds. And the seagull thing. First of all, it was the scene where a seagull was attacking Simon Bird for his chips. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of animal stuff in it, isn't there? Yeah. And we got a seagull in. it was a special seagull was it they always say it's a special animal and then when it gets on set you're like it's just an animal the thing with the seagull thing yeah was go on we were we were doing the read-through and it was like a seagull attacks it was great in the read-through a seagull a seagull attacks simon bird what was his name in the show will will a seagull attacks will and um and i just said oh um i was and they were like oh we're getting a proper seagull in And I was like, oh, is it, you know, those seagulls with the little red lips?

23:50All right. If you look at seagulls, and this is just a memory that I had. I remember when I was at school, when I was supposed to be paying attention to whatever the teacher was saying. I was looking, we had a load of seagulls at our school for some reason. We weren't near the sea. Well, you can't, I mean, you can't be expected to concentrate on a class if there's a few seagulls outside the window. But there was all seagulls outside. I know. And this seagull came right to the window. And I was like, fucking hell, they're really big, aren't they? And then I looked at their beaks and I was like, oh, look, they look like they've got lipstick on.

24:21And I was just trying to make a joke as if to say, oh, don't seagulls look like they've got lipstick on. I don't know why I said little red lips. I did say little red lips. I don't know why I said that. That was where I went wrong. It sounds like Gok Wan. Right. And the problem is when guys are together, no one can say anything without everyone jumping on it. Right. So I said, I accidentally said little red lips. In hindsight, I should have chosen different words. But it wasn't just that. It was more the kind of the way, like, the way your sort of your eyes lit up. I don't know if they lit up.

24:57This is all conjecture. And then it turned into, oh, what, do you fancy seagulls? Oh, Buckley Fancy Seagulls. Buckley Fancy Seagulls. And then for some reason, I went bright red. Yeah. I was really, really embarrassed. And it looked like I did Fancy Seagulls. and that was what was really bad and then i'm then what made things even worse was after that had all happened and then that joke has gone on for years because jokes never die with a male friend group they go on for years and years and years i think it was literally like a year or two after that i think we were making the film or another series or something and i was uh you know those days where it's like i'll all come in but you've all got at one point or another you've all got to go and have a costume fit in or you got to go and get your medical done and then i was left in the production office on my own yeah right and um i remember this i was in i was in this i was in a great big office on my own i was like i'll just jump on someone's computer and just start looking at the internet or whatever and what would have been less weird was if i started watching porn started wanking or something yeah that would have been more normal but i'd read i i picked up a metro on the tube on the way in and they were talking about this bald eagle.

26:18And again, I looked at it and it was next to a bloke. And I was like, fucking hell, they're massive. I don't know what it is about birds being big around me as well. It really impresses me. You don't expect birds to be as big as they are, but some of these birds are really big and it's really interesting. Yeah, it is interesting that birds are big sometimes. So people came back into the office and was like, oh, Buckley, what are you looking at? And I was like, oh, nothing. Don't worry. And I was like Wikipedia-ing bald eagles. Yeah. So it was just like, Buckley, you've got a really weird thing.

26:51Yeah. That is true. It was like you just saw the image of the wings before it went blank. Yeah, I was like, oh, nothing. No, nothing. Yeah. It was. I don't. I don't have a bird. Don't have a bird fetish. It was unfortunate that those two things happened in close succession. It was unfortunate it happened around you lot. Well, I think it's not – you're allowed to take an interest in the natural world. I was genuinely interested in this bald eagle. Yeah.

27:30Do you think that's ruined your love affair with birds? Are you still into it? I still do like birds. A couple of years ago, I bought a special bird feeder. I bet you did. Because the squirrels, I did have a bird feeder, but the squirrels kept eating the food. And I was like, that's not for you. That's for the birds. Yeah. I'm going to end up in one of those paedophile hunter videos. I've come to meet a Robin or something. And they're going to ambush me. They'll be like, who are you meeting? I don't know. Just the friends. We've got some of the text exchanges here. you sent you sent this finch a picture of your penis you kept going on about blue tits I don't know I'm going to lose my job my wife's going to find out about this I don't have a bird fetish I don't I just find them interesting in a normal way in a normal way if you're going to go Go after Bill Oddy.

28:37Don't look at me. Yeah, that's true, actually. Go through his search history. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? He was probably on some island with some underaged birds at some point. Some eggs. Bill Oddy, yeah. Yeah. He was probably feeding little chicks, vomiting in their mouths. Yeah. Because he gets off on it. Yeah. Yeah. Is Bill Oddy still alive? If he is, that probably can't go in I think it's funny No, he's still alive He's still alive Still going B.Oddy Still active B.Oddy This is Bill Oddy That's not a rude name I just thought it was Body What's rude about a body? Tits

29:30Anyway Anyway, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Hi. This is the podcast where each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting, and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true, but don't want to research in a segment we're calling Fact Check. So we want you to send in our facts. Email us, hello, at joeandjamespod.com. WhatsApp us on 07822034330. Follow us on our socials at joandjamespod And you can also watch all our episodes in full on YouTube Just search for Jo and James Jo and James Factor They're also available on Apple Podcasts to watch video in full now You can watch video full on Apple Podcasts Yes, I know that because I've seen it on my Apple Podcasts Thanks Jo Thanks Let's get Factor Factor Factor Right, so So now a few weeks ago, I asked for you to send in basically puns that you didn't realize were puns.

30:39Yeah. And I mean, I have just actually, I was thinking about the podcast the other day and I realized that one of our world up had a pun believable in it. It had one of the puns you don't realise are puns. Go on. And it was obviously Obi-2. Like is it Obi-1 Kenobi, Obi-2 Kenobi? Yeah, but I think you get that pun straight away. No, no, but I didn't. So what I'm saying is I didn't, so that I was late to the party on that one. Right. I just thought it was like, oh, okay. A bit like if you were Daniel Craig's brother, you'd be like, oh, Bond 2. Right, 008. Well, see, that'd be clever. Yeah. But I just thought it was like, or, I mean, yeah.

31:25if you're Harrison Ford's brother you'd be like Indiana Jones 2 and so I just thought it was that I think that's why I was less interested in it in fact the Temple of Doom that's why I was less interested in the Temple of Doom would Harrison Ford's brother be called the Temple do you reckon I don't know I've just thought of one though and then the third brother would be called the Last Crusade yeah I've just thought of one Mystique the band is spelled how do you spell mystique normally is it got one s because I think the band has I think the band has got two s's in it so it's sort of like miss they're girls mysterious ah okay is that the sort of thing that's quite good that has helped I might be wrong about it all the ob2 thing maybe just makes me think that I don't notice when things are jokes.

32:27That's fine. But that's, you know, that's fine. Yeah. It's not your job as the receiver to get everything, I suppose. No, and it's not. I've never seen any money for any of this work that I'm doing. So it's called Pun-Believable anyway, the sort of the section. It's a segment. It's things you didn't realise were puns. I think it's pretty strong. We've got a jingle, haven't we? I think the band Boyzone is a pun on boys' own. Of course it is. Match of the day is a pun on catch of the day. Fucking hell. I didn't realise that Girls Allowed was a pun for a while, as in girls are allowed in this club too.

33:11And people say, you know, there's no new land left to discover. Well, in the mind there is. Unbelievable, Jeff. So we've got a couple of pun believables from some people. Yeah. So this one is Mark on the fact up form, which I mean, I also approve of. I like people using the form. Right. He says, I have something for pun believable that I've literally just realized at age 40. Is the song Californication by Red Hot Chili Peppers. he's actually abbreviated to RHCP. A lot of people do. Who can be bothered to type red hot chili peppers every time? I wouldn't know what that was unless I had Californication.

34:01I mean, that's right. I mean, in this context, it's fine. I'm not sure it's fine. Is a pun of California and fornication, i.e. shagging. He's put that down. Austin Powers. What do you guys think? What do you guys think? No, I think Californication is a thing that's in, I'm going to say a word now, but I don't 100 % know what it means. Lexicon? Yeah, the lexicon. Yeah, it's the sort of, because California is where Hollywood is, and it's the sort of, it's almost another word for Americanization. i think it's i think because americans can't say americanization they'll say californication yeah if something's a bit too hollywood and a bit too sort of dramatic and bizarre and oh everyone's uh having plastic surgery and and everyone's got um the drug problems and stuff and it's like oh that's that's hollywoodized that's californication i think that that's and i think that's what the song is about i can't remember the song off the top of my head but i think the lyrics are very much sort of um space space may be the final frontier but it's made in a hollywood basement that's it yeah so can i do my impression of every red hot chili pepper song yes and this is gonna really this is rage baiting everyone but here is every red hot chili pepper song

35:37And now the chorus comes in And we sing a little song I mean,

35:51I have to say And I don't hate Red Hot Chili Peppers, by the way I think their By The Way album's brilliant It's well good really really good yeah i think most you know popular music has tropes that it kind of yeah deploys i can objectively understand why people like red hot chili peppers by the way i'm not taking the piss out of them i know people get very passionate about music i'm one of those people and it's awful when you hear someone take the piss out of a band that you like i don't know It really annoys me. Almost every band that I grew up listening to is, I think, seen as an unfortunate choice by people.

36:34I'm not sure. I don't have cool taste in music. I don't know. I think in retrospect, I think your bands are like, oh, very much like, oh, he must like music then if he likes those. He must really like music. That's not actually. He must really like music if he can put up with those bands. That's not actually true, though. They're just bands that happen to be around a very, very specific. Yeah, but there's loads more. Because I like the same. My bands that I really like are in the same time frame as the bands that you like. Yeah. But I've gone with the obvious choices, and you've gone for a bit more niche.

37:18I think in my own way, I went for the obvious choices as well. Well, you think so, but no. I mean, Longpigs. Longpigs. I've never met anyone else that is a big Longpigs fan. Some of our listeners will like Longpigs. The Sun is Often Out is a great album. Neil Hammond. You love Neil Hammond, don't you? Is that his name? Neil Hannan. Neil Hannan, sorry. Yeah, the kind of – Richard Hammonds. He's the – Brother. Neil Hammond. Hamster 2. Yeah. The gerbil. Yeah. Oh, is it gerbil? Is it gerbil? Well, there we go. Hamster. Oh, Gerb, I see. Sorry, he's called hamster, isn't he? Yeah, but that's a pun believable.

38:00Again, I didn't really realise that either. He's Hammond, Richard Hammond. He's small like a hamster. Yeah. The hamster. Yeah. Do you want to go on to the next... I'm going to spend a moment with... I'm not absolute... Don't rush the man. We're trying to work out whether Californication is a pun or not. I wonder if it's maybe, if it meant sex in California, then I would say, yes, it's an intentional pun. But he doesn't sing about that sort of stuff, does he? If the lyrics to the song were like... The lyrics to the song, if I remember rightly, are very much... Do you want to come around my house for some Californication?

38:44Because I live in California and you work out the rest. Then I would say yes. But I think in this case, it's just that it kind of trips off the tongue. And I think it's an unintentional pun believable. An extra layer of meaning is being created inadvertently. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't obviously enrich the meaning of the word. I think this is a projected pun. It's a projected pun. I think that's exactly right. All right, next. But I still like it. We've got one from Tim. Oh, I know this one. Oh, okay. I did actually know this one. Well, no, I knew Flo Rida. I knew them both. And I didn't know Neo.

39:23Do you want to talk through them both? Okay, so Flo Rida. Why has the listener not read what we've got in front of us already? Imagine that. Imagine this was live. Imagine this was live television. And we're just like, let me read it. No, no, that's not a pun. Yeah, I haven't gone around handing out papers to every listener yet. Or if a newsreader, it was just somebody silently reading a newspaper. and they just went oh dear yeah you just saw them you just saw them you just saw them raise their eyebrows oh that's not good well anyway it is it is Tim Tim from YouTube is the comments presumably yeah obviously I don't know he doesn't he works at YouTube loads of ways to get in touch with us you can comment on the YouTube comment comments on Spotify you can email text WhatsApp Give it to a carrier pigeon.

40:18That's the best way to reach James. Pop it in a little. I wouldn't mind a little carrier pigeon. Little carrier pigeon. I don't mind. Well, if it's a wood pigeon, that's fine. I don't want any of your filthy sort of gutter sea pigeons. Quite fussy about your birds, aren't you? Oh, yeah. Listen, I've got high standards when it comes to birds. Yeah. So, yeah. No, we do need to read it. Okay, so Tim's - Yeah, no, you do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

40:51So Tim from the YouTube comments, his suggestions are Flowrider. Yeah. I mean, I did actually know that one. So Flowrider is an artist. It's obviously, it's a pun believable on Florida. Good stuff. And then Neo. I'm going to say, I don't know who that is. Neo. I do know who it is, but I couldn't tell you one of his - And that is... Closer. Do you remember closer? Get closer. And is that... Yeah. I'm not sure that is definitely a unbelievable New York. Well, I've heard the same thing. And if we're going to follow the rules of the podcast, then that is true. Because you've heard it's true. I've heard the same thing.

41:34But I don't... I've got to be honest. I don't have much respect for those. I don't have... I have to say, I don't have respect for Flo Rida. Because it's not obvious that you pronounce it differently. Yeah. You haven't changed the spelling. So you're just like, well, so you, so. He's put a gap. He's put a space between. That's just Flo Rida. Yeah. What's your name? Flo Rida. Do you want to hear my. Change the spelling. Then maybe I'll listen to some of your music. You know when. Spelling first, music second. You know when your dad or your granddad would watch the TV and someone would come on the television and he would just have an irrational.

42:08Oh, I'm not this person. I've got that. And, again, not really done anything offensive or I've never met them personally. But there's someone that I've just got it out for, for no reason whatsoever. Yeah. Will.I.Am. Just because it's an annoying name. Right. His name's William. He's put some gaps. Yeah. And he's Will.I.Am. Yeah. And that just annoys the fuck out of me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like it's fine if you're an 11 year old boy yeah I think I sometimes felt that the implication of him doing that was that it was supposed to like literally blow your mind ducking hell what's happening to language it's coming apart this is what I get from Will.I.Am is that he constantly thinks that he's pushing some kind of boundary and he's fucking with you but it's so route one it is a little bit i remember do you know that um what's that really famous sort of surf song i think um oh no here we go again i've got to think of a name that everyone knows who it is that director that did kill bill and all those films what's his name tarantino tarantino yeah so you know he uses the he uses this song i think in the Kill Bill films I might be wrong but it's that sort of surfers like ding ding ding yeah yeah yeah right so um I remember I don't know how I was watching this it was like a documentary was the it was it was on television this was before like YouTube or that I watched it watched YouTube or whatever and it was like and it was about the black-eyed peas that I think are terrible I just do I think they're so bad they're such a bad band I don't think that that I don't really really bad.

44:05Their music is all stupid. And, uh, and there was a bit where they were like, yeah, will I am was in the studio and he had his headphones on and he was just going, so they couldn't hear what he was listening to. And he was just going louder, louder. And we were like, he's onto something. He's onto something. And I was like, what do you mean? He's onto something. He's taken a song from someone else and just shouted the word louder over and over again. Um, The Black Eyed Peas lyrics in all of their songs. It does sound a bit like what my daughter does when she's asleep. They're so bad. They're lyrically so poor.

44:43They're so stupid, their lyrics. But Will I Am, I see him come on the television and I turn into 50s dad. I just go, oh, God, get him off the television. Yeah. No, get him off. Will I Am. It's William. Your name's William. Stop trying to make yourself seem more interesting Than you actually are It's completely rational Never done anything to me He just made some songs But I do, I get hangry For no reason I love Boom Boom Pow Boom Boom Are they My Humps? They did My Humps My Lady Humps They also did I've got a feeling Just can't get enough That tonight's gonna be a good night Tonight's gonna be a good night Tonight's gonna be a good, good night Fucking, how long did that say?

45:45It's good stuff Come on, man It's good stuff And the guy's so rich off the back of that shit Yeah, it's good That felt like it was a song that you could play at all sorts of special occasions Well, because it's just like, let's make a song about a good night Yeah And that's where they stopped We're out. Shut up. Do you like shut up? Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up. Shut it up. Yeah, you can't get away from them. You cannot get away from them. They infect your brain. Just shut it up. Just shut up. Shut up. It's like, well, I wrote this song. You know when you're talking to someone, you're just like, I just want you to shut up.

46:21There's no nuance at all whatsoever. Like you could go, you could spend the rest of your life trying to, you know, projecting your own conjecture and stuff into Beatles lyrics and Bowie and just going, what does that mean? They are quite simple, aren't they? They're a bit like the sort of Peppa Pig songs I listen to all the time where it's like, when George is crying loudly, we say shut up. Yeah. You're like, yeah, okay, that's fine. Or like, there's one that my daughter likes about like, when you need the potty, you have to shout out potty. And it's like, yeah. That is a black eyed peas. It's a theme.

47:05Should be writing songs for CBeebies. That's what they should be doing. They should be writing songs for Teletubbies or something. Wait for the green man. When we're at the roadie, press the little button. When the green man comes along, then we can walk. That's a black eyed peas song. Mummy says to hold her hand. Yeah. Like it's, it's a kind of a thin, there's a thinness, but then maybe it's just that, you know, we need stuff that we can hold on to. Yeah. Maybe it is going to be a good night. But, um. And maybe that person did need to shut up. But just for Tim, for Tim's benefit. Sorry. Tim, I went on a real rant there.

47:40We went on a bit of a rant there. But. Okay, so Flo. But I'm going to say, I've heard both those things, so they must be true. Okay, NEO can be pun-believable, but Flo Rida, I realise it's a pun on Flo Rida already. A lot of people don't. But the definition of pun-believable is whether I realised. Right. Okay. That can't be true. I didn't think that's why we said, I thought you were asking for other people. Yeah, we can't ask for other people. Oh, yeah. To know what you think. I just find it really hard to empathise with us. Yeah, you and who I am, it seems. So they're having an experience that I'm not having.

48:19Yeah. How does that work then? I don't know. But they haven't got brain as well. It's all a simulation anyway. They don't exist, Joe. I don't exist. No. You're just here on your own, mate. When you blink or you leave the room or something like that, I cease to exist. Oh, I shouldn't say that to you, should I? That's all right. No, I'm... That's all right. I shouldn't say that to Joe. No, it's fine. I should be brought back into the world of everyone else. and actually so neo they are no they're both unbelievable yeah right world up they're well hang on a second okay yeah hang on a second let's have a little breather maybe some adverts or something i don't know because we're about to get into um this competition that's already run too long as far as i'm concerned but we've got lots more to do it hasn't run too long um we're gonna get into world up stuff in a second hey it's your ceiling vent so i'm dripping could be the rain could be the upstairs bathroom yikes you could hire the guy your neighbor recommended but i'm pretty sure that's just his cousin do we know if he's licensed or does he just own a ladder Listen to your home.

49:43Go with Thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack. We know homes. Hire the right pro today. Hi, my name's Alistair Green. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel. Yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't think so somehow. And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you.

50:25Don't think so somehow. Every time I get a message saying I'm loving the new podcast, I'm like, why? Why? Oh, dear. Right, Joe, it is time to kick off the most exciting tournament happening this summer. It is the World Up 2026.

50:48There are so many facts, but which one is the best? Only the world of, has the power to decide.

51:14In the world of We can find out The greatest Is George by James and Drew At no point could we look at where the first beat of the bar was Here's a question for you In two years time What are we going to do for the Euros? How are we going to make that into a Your right The European up? Yeah. Oros. Uppos. I don't know. We'll get Will.i.am to work it out for us. He's a lyrical genius. Yeah. For the next four weeks, we'll be pitting your facts against one another to crown the ultimate Fact Up fact. We'll have five knockout rounds with each winner earning a slot in the Fact Up final where we'll put the facts under even more scrutiny before unveiling the winner of the World Up.

52:08We've got a wall chart and everything. It's just behind Joe. Well, we're saying everything. We've got a wall chart. And that's it. And everything is a thing I say quite a lot when I'm trying to make things seem like a bigger deal than they are. To be honest, a wall chart is a big deal. They're always fun. You shouldn't need anything else. Yeah. You should need all your fancy other things. Let's do our first fact. This comes from Sandra. Yep. I'll do it. It's all right, Joe. Yeah, you do it. You do it. Yeah, yeah. It's time for our first act. I keep saying that. First act. I hope it's not our first act.

52:47It's time for our first fact to be presented. This comes from Sandra via the Instagram. That's what's written down here. Yeah. Via the Instagram. Yeah, the Instagram application. I remember, I think it was, not to keep banging on about Will.i.am, but I think it was on The Voice. Yeah. Where Tom Jones, no, I think it must have been before The Voice. Tom Jones was being interviewed or something, and he was being asked about what contemporary music that he likes. And he was like, oh, I love the Travis. I was like, the Travis?

53:26This comes from Sandra via the Instagram. A sneeze droplet can travel up to 100 miles per hour. that's a genuine fact I learned while sitting on my nan's lap back in the 80s reading a book she gave me for Christmas called The Giant Book of Amazing Facts. I wish I'd kept it. Well, I'm glad that she had a book. I've got a book as well, my book of facts. Yeah, but yours was written in 1890 or something, wasn't it? Yeah. Which I like because it makes it precarious. yeah it's it's um but i think yeah those little fat books i mean that they were they were i i think i i think i i probably had had one of that as well um and yeah i don't know it's nice to i think i think there's a sense that like you know when the internet came around it's like we don't need anything you know in a physical book anymore but actually i still think there's something kind of i don't know i think maybe they have more value than people think sure my one my one is my one is is you know so old that some of the facts are i'm saying yeah yeah they're not really well no a lot of a lot of them are facts but they're not anymore well also a lot of the things that are supposed to like blow your mind are like there's a train that can travel at 60 miles an hour yeah they're sort of things along along those lines pretty good going these days as well oh yeah yeah i mean we're recording this on the day of a tube strike i went um i went sorry mate and he wasn't looking at me i was like i was closer than me and you are now yeah i went sorry mate and he was just looking at the floor and i went excuse me and then he looked up and i went is the elizabeth flying running he went yeah yeah yeah Yeah.

55:25That's why. I assume that's just some guy. He had a high-vis on, but he was wearing his own clothes. Some people do just wear high-vis. He had a high-vis on with the little London Underground logo on it, but he wasn't wearing a uniform. He was wearing his own clothes. I'm guessing they got those guys in. On clothes day? It might have been. It might have been non-school uniform day. No, but I'm guessing it doesn't really work for the London Underground. Yeah. So even when he said, even when he went, I went, I was at Elizabeth line running. He went, yeah. I went, I still don't know whether I believe you.

56:00It's interesting. And I was just about to tap in. And I was like, if I tap in now and I walk all the way to the Elizabeth line, which is about a mile underground than all the other lines, it's going to take me about 20 minutes to get there anyway. And I find out there's no Elizabeth line fucking coming back for you. Yeah. It's funny to wear high vis, but then not want to look someone in the eye and not want to engage. I used to know someone who, well, I say I used to know, I worked with someone once, I didn't really know them, who was an actor who told me that when he has to take his car in to get fixed or something like that, he wears, like, dirty overalls.

56:40Okay. And he says things like, oh, would you be able to just take this off my hands? I'm a bit, like, I need to, like, would you be able to just look at this? I'm a bit under it at the moment. like he comes across as if he himself is a mechanic he runs another garage yeah okay oh that's interesting and he said he said i never get sexy he said i never get like screwed over i never get okay because mechanics to me like i'm not a mechanic like you could tell me anything's fucking wrong with the car i never get screwed over either like it's always just a straight two thousand pounds for every job just a really yeah and they're very straight with me and just a flat fee two thousand pounds yeah yeah yeah um and they're like oh yeah you need new window wipers on that they get me to take it all out in cash so it's convenient for me yeah because it's really convenient to take out two thousand pounds in cash yeah because i only have to go to four cash points so so it's it's really handy for me my bank doesn't even let me take out money pretty much i've like i start to sweat if i've ever had to take out like a larger i say like like a thousand a thousand pounds or two thousand pounds for something if i'm trying to sort of put a deposit down on a car or something like that yeah and you paid me a lot they're like they're like what what are you doing this for what would you what do you mean you want to take your money out what are you talking about why where's it going what are you doing what are you doing drugs is it drugs is it drugs are you spending this money on drugs i'm not spending money on drugs i just want to look at a look at the king yeah sometimes you just want to have some money in your hand yeah Yeah.

58:09It's all right. I'm trying to impress some friends. I just want to have some money in my pocket. Yeah. Can I, can you, also, can you put it in a briefcase for me? Yeah. Can you line it up in a briefcase? I'd love a briefcase amount of money. Has anyone ever done, has anyone ever really given anyone a briefcase of money? That's what I'd really like. On the million pound drop? Yeah. That was out in deck, wasn't it? Not sure. Yeah, it was, wasn't it? Probably. Of course it was. who else is it going to be well it was actually Davina McCaw the other one oh Davina there we go Davina Davina Davina Davina Davina what are we going to do with you div I I don't know anyway you haven't spoken much about this fact is that because it's not very good no no no it's just because it is again I've heard the same thing and 100 % true.

59:08I think it's true. Do we think it's a good fact then? It is a good fact. I mean, it's a... It's a fact. It's a good fact. It's a fine fact. I think it's... Kind of... I think I might have heard it, but actually thinking about it, it is pretty remarkable that like... I suppose it's a very short distance, isn't it? I mean, it's not, it doesn't. Well, if I can. It doesn't sustain it. Yeah. I have to say, I don't, it reminds me a little bit of like, of, you remember you get those adverts where it's like, if you sneeze, look where your germ goes. And it's got like green luminous stuff. Everything else is black and white.

1:00:00Yeah. And then everything you touch is like, and it's basically going, you're covered in filth. You filthy little bear. try not to touch anything at all a mum like wipes her nose and then kisses their child goodnight and stuff and then their child's lying in bed and the infection is taking over all I'm saying is that like if you wanted to give people OCD you should show them that video I would honestly say as someone who's had OCD to a kind of debilitating level that sort of video shouldn't be fucking allowed it's genuinely, I'd rather my child gets a cold than that I or my child lives with that level of OCD.

1:00:36OCD destroys your life. A cold doesn't destroy your life. I genuinely hate those videos. Can I do a little sort of stacking up a Jenga fact type situation on top of Sandra's or Sandra? Should you be getting involved though? I said Sandra there. I've been hanging around with Lily May too long. Sandra? You said it the right way. Sandra. Come on, man. Sandra. Can I – What's on the beach? Sand. Just talking about – molecules. Again, I keep saying words that I don't. It's all right. I'm not qualified to say. Particles. Particles. Yeah. Yeah. Travelling. So, you know, there's that thing why Europe is actually quite warm, probably warmer than what it should be.

1:01:22Because the jet stream. Is that, well, it's not the jet stream. That's wind, isn't it? Oh, yeah. It's that thing that goes around the Atlantic. It is called some kind of stream. I can't remember what it's called. If I did remember that, I would look so clever right now. What is that cold? But it goes right down to the South Pole and it comes right up to the North Pole and it sort of swirls between America and Europe. Yeah, it brings hot water up. Yeah. And it's a lot to do with how salty the water is and salt water sinks, I think. It's heavier than... And it's why Europe is a bit more temperate than...

1:01:57Because Europe's like, a lot of the European cities are like on the same latitude, longitude, as northern Canada. Yeah. Right? But it's this stream, it's this water that brings us... The Gulf Stream. Is it the Gulf Stream? It might be the Gulf Stream. Let's go with it. Yeah, it's what came to my mind, but I don't know if it's true. But... I think it's the Gulf Stream. I hope it is because that would put me back on track They've tried to measure how long it would take A piece of water to fulfil That stream So a particle of water to do that thing And it can take at least hundreds Possibly thousands of years To do a complete circuit And also there's a big panic at the moment That it's coming to an end that it's going to collapse through climate change and through other sort of things and bits and pieces going on, that this thing that keeps Europe quite warm is going to stop.

1:03:06And that would be really bad for Europe. It would make them sort of – we'd be a lot colder, which would have a huge impact on food, on growing food and stuff like that. So it's quite a bad thing. and for and if we if we could be like right let's if it stopped today and we were like right we better stop burning all these fuels and stuff and let's try and get the this stream back in business it could then because of the knock-on effect and because of how long it takes it could take hundreds maybe thousands of years for it to kick back in again bloody hell I'm just thinking of wet particles travelling and that's what made me think of that again might not be true might be completely bollocks well no but maybe what we need to do might be completely bollocks is if we do need to sort of speed it up a bit fans put some fans in the water well sneezing is what I'm thinking sneeze the water around so we get some pepper yeah how fast do you think of fart travels?

1:04:08that's what I want to know well they don't travel away fast enough but that's the thing isn't it with a sneeze it's all over and yeah you know you don't really I mean apart from those videos saying that it stays around like a ghost but like I mean obviously it does but like just don't yeah anyway um I just I genuinely hate those videos because it's like well okay well let's just all never ever go out or ever touch anything or any other person ever and then we'll be safe but it's a good fact it's a good no it's a good fact it's a good fact but But 100 miles per hour. Farts come out at seven miles per hour.

1:04:43Seven miles per hour. They're so gross. Do you know what? That sort of makes sense. Because they are just sort of like. Yeah. There you go. Oh, you're a come. Yeah. 100 miles an hour. So that's the same as like a cricketer bowling gets up above a heart, don't they? Imagine if you farted as quickly as you see. Oh, my gosh. Well, I was about to say you'd probably propel yourself, wouldn't you? Yeah. But you'd do the same if you sneezed, wouldn't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah, but a fart feels more substantial. You'd get like whiplash every time you sneezed. The holes are smaller, maybe? But if you, your nose holes have got to be bigger than your arse hole.

1:05:26Are you sure? Your arse hole can get quite big, I think. It gets poo out, doesn't it? Yeah. And they can be quite big. Well, but I don't think your arse hole gets that big when you fart. nobody could if it was powerful or if anything blow your bum if anything the smaller the more powerful the more concentrated the because it's like a hose isn't it yeah yeah when you put your thumb over a hose you'd have very little control though I don't think you'd be able to balance if it was that I've got a thing that I genuinely would like to know and you'd have to wear no trousers sneezing or farting applies but if you were in space and you farted or sneezed would it be enough to just keep, propel you and keep you going.

1:06:10And how long will it stay in your suit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing as well. You don't want to use a suit after me, do you, Jack? No, this is... And you could call the new stream the guff stream. The guff stream. The guff stream is excellent. Well, listen, I think we've spoke about that fact a lot. Yeah. I think we need to... In fact, it gives some much-needed glory to the sneeze, which is an otherwise, it can seem a bit humdrum. But actually, it turns out, you know, record-breaking speeds. Let's have a little ad break, Joe, and then we'll come back with, and we'll find out what 100-mile-an-hour sneeze is up against.

1:06:52Yeah.

1:06:55Right, welcome back. Hi. We're right in the middle of World Up. The halftime whistle is gone. we're back for the second half yeah um it's time for fact number two and this one it's a strong contender i've just read it i don't want to you know i've read it as well and i think this one could go this is this this is one of the facts i feel like could go all the way in the tournament if true that let's well we decide whether it's true or not yeah we do and i'm gonna be honest i want this to be true so much i can't see how it could be well anyway should Should we say what it is? Go on, Joe. Can you present us with this fact?

1:07:33Yeah, so this is from Adrian on Instagram. Original raspberry flavoring comes from beaver anal glands.

1:07:44What are you thinking, Joe? Why would, well, why would raspberry flavoring come from beaver anal glands? Here we go. That's what I'm thinking. So you know how flavors are artificially created. I do know that. And perfumes and things. is they use a lot of weird shit that comes from animals. Is it whale snot or something? Ambergris or something like that? Yeah, ambergris. Is it just something they cough up or something like that? Yeah, it is. It's worth a fortune. I think, yeah. Did they used to use it? I only know that because of Bob's Burgers. Is ambergris the stuff that they would get from the heads of whales?

1:08:22And there was a sort of whale called the right whale. where they were sort of hunted, I think, to extinction or nearly to extinction. I think that's an old whaler's joke. What good joke? What good whale? I think the slightly poignant fact is the reason they were hunted so extensively and were called the right whale is because it was the right whale to kill. Yeah. But it's almost like it feels a bit sad for this whale because they couldn't even be bothered to give it a proper name before. Or like its name was basically the one you kill. I think sperm whales, and by the way, hilarious name. Yeah.

1:09:01It's humiliating. I think. Yeah. I think. They all produce sperm. They all produce sperm. Yeah. They're all doing it. Yeah. But like. Why is the sperm whale called the sperm whale? Yeah. Why does he have to carry the can? I don't think it looks like. If it had a little. If it was. If it had the same head, but like a snake's body. I'll tell you what should be called a sperm something. Go on. A sperm tadpole. A sperm pole. Sperm pole. Well, I mean, that looks like a sperm. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. More than a tad like a sperm. Yeah. We've got tadpoles at the moment in our garden. Yeah. Yeah.

1:09:36I think they're tadpoles. Sometimes you've got to be careful. One time we had a... Might be sperm. Might be sperm. We've got loads of tadpoles. I think they're tadpoles. Might be sperm. I don't know. Listen, there are... There's more tadpoles on the front doorstep of our house. There are three lads in my house. So they've got these anal glands. Yeah, but maybe they're a bit raspberry flavoured. I've heard that perfume comes from anal glands quite often. They love a bit of anal gland. You wouldn't make a fucking perfume out of my dog's anal glands, that's for sure. Jesus Christ. Unless it was egg.

1:10:24Fire, Paco Rabanne or something. Yeah. I have heard about, I mean, anal glands have come up before in the context of particularly smell. And it feels like it's a very potent, do we have anal glands? Yeah, we must do. Human beings? We must have some anal glands going on somewhere. And I suppose what I'm saying is what smells might I mind? Isn't that what piles are? Humans do have anal glands. Isn't piles your exposed anal glands? I think piles is just sort of prolapsed. I don't know. Like a blood blister or something. Yeah, I don't really know. I am going to Google it, but I don't really want to know.

1:11:03And I'd be interested to know if anything useful can be extracted from the human anal gland. Maybe we could give a little back. The beaver gets to wear a perfume made from, or, you know, eat a sweet. Have they reintroduced beavers yet to Scotland? I remember reading about that. Sorry, I'm just reading about piles. They're swollen, inflamed blood vessels located inside or around the lower rectum and anus. Yeah. Are Pals hemorrhoids? Yes. Do you want to know how to spell hemorrhoid? H-E... I think it's the hardest one. There's two M's in it. Is there two R's in it? Do you know what's a really hard word to spell?

1:11:45This is... This is absolutely... This is high-octane stuff. I think this is going to be one of our longest episodes. Spelling. Spellings. I don't want to get into the subject or anything, obviously, but just stating a fact here, a really hard word to spell is the word paedophile. I knew that was coming. It's not that hard, is it? P-A-E. Well, some people leave out the A. They're just going to go pedophile. It should just be, you know, because sometimes if you're trying to take the piss out of your mate on text and you want to call him a pedo or something. Yeah, yeah. You do just want to put P-E-D-O.

1:12:22I find that quite annoying, actually. I'm a bit of a pedant. I think you should put the A in. You're a bit of a what? Pedant. But also, isn't it that A where - What's the thing that Mark says? I'm a pedophobe. Pedophobe, that's it. Right, we do need to. This is the longest episode ever. Yeah. We need to - I mean, look - We need to - 100 mile an hour sneeze is going up against beaver's anal glands. It's one end versus the other. Now, I don't think I've made any secret to what I'm leaning towards. Yeah. And if Beaver's anal glands is not in the World Up final, I mean, I really feel bad for Sandra.

1:13:03Said it again, Sandra. Well, I like the – I'm more like where the sneeze fact comes from, which is that it was read, you know, from a book. Oh, it's a beautiful story. There's a lot of ingredients there. I like, you know, she was on her nan's lap. The 80s. A fact book. A fact book. It's all brilliant. Probably got it for Christmas alongside a pino annual or something. Adrian, let's not, listen, Adrian hasn't spun a story. Adrian has literally just said the words, raspberry flavoring comes from beaver anal glands. Yeah. It's quite a sort of, it's quite, it's honestly quite, it's quite a Hemingway actually.

1:13:46It's almost like for sale, baby shoes, never worn. Cole Hemingway. Wayne Hemingway. Wayne Hemingway. Ernest Hemingway. Ernest Hemingway. Wayne Hemingway is the dancer, isn't it? Never heard of him. Isn't Wayne Hemingway a dancer? I don't know. He's a designer. Oh, yeah, fashion designer. That's right. Oh, founder of Red or Dead. Didn't he do Red or Dead? Correct. Yeah. Yeah. I like Wayne Hemingway. He wears some good glasses and he seems like a bit of a dude. It's hard. I sort of agree. I think it's quite hard to argue with original raspberry flavoring consumption. Are you going to go with it or do I have to play my golden buzzer or something?

1:14:35No, no. Look, I think I'm happy to go with it. I like Sandra's fact. I particularly like the story and the world, but I think it's come up against... It's come up against Beaver's anal glands. I think Sandra would be sitting there going oh I'm gutted yeah it is like it's she's got an unlucky draw it's the Faroe Islands against Brazil at the moment yeah it is really yeah and like it's brilliant for the Faroe Islands to be there yeah or it's like it's like a and they've given a good account of themselves as well it's like a conference team being drawn drawn against Man United in the FA Cup yeah I'm sure Sandra's gonna make some cash out of this yeah and it's good for the club and whatnot.

1:15:16But inevitably, beaver's anal glands are going through. All right. Well done, Adrian. Well done. Adrian on Instagram, as you're known. Do we check if it's true? It's completely up to you. I have given you information, further information before. If you're satisfied with the information you have. I'm still making up the rules in my head as we go along. Well, I don't know if we hold off until the final until we get into that sort of stuff. Yeah, we can do that. Yeah. Maybe we should make that a rule. It's a bit late. We're changing the rules. We're fortunate for the first two games, but why not?

1:15:49But maybe we should make it a rule that we don't actually have some actual information until we get to the final. Okay. Hey, stay our podcast. We can do whatever the fuck we want. And also, it's the world up. It doesn't matter. It's meaningless. It's absolutely meaningless. Hey, we'll all be dead soon. I don't know about you, Joe, but I'm all fact out. Me too. What have we learned? What have we learned today? what have you learned? Sneezes are fast and beaver's anal glands smell like raspberries that's pretty much it guys we need your facts get involved in the world up our email is hello at joanjamespod.com we're just trying to bring the world together our whatsapp is 07822034330 I should probably just say if you leave us a voice note because I like a voice note you're likely to get on because it saves us from reading there's not been many world up voice notes so that's the problem.

1:16:44Get a world up voice note here. Do it. Do it. You might go. You'll probably definitely get on the podcast and then you've got a better chance of getting into the final. Also, our social media. Put it this way. You won't not win the world up. Our social media is at Joe and James pod. If you don't not win the world up voice note. And head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. We'll be back next week with another one of these. It's a podcast. Bye, guys. Bye.

1:17:29Hi, my name's Alistair Green. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. and all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't think so somehow. Every time I get a message saying, I'm loving the new podcast, I'm like, why? Why? Oh, dear.