Joe Thomas Made Me Miss My Train

0:00Hi, this is Brooke DeVard from Naked Beauty. I am always looking for ways to elevate our daily rituals, and the Kohler Smart Toilet is proof that design changes everything. It's this stunning sculptural piece that feels like quiet luxury for your bathroom. It totally transforms your daily ritual into something elevated, with customizable cleansing and touchscreen controls. It's functional art that makes your space feel cleaner and more intentional. A modern home deserves a modern toilet. Experience the difference of Kohler smart toilets. Find more at Kohler.com.

0:58feel good about the quality of the ingredients shop back to school must-haves at whole foods market in-store or online there was a comment i saw on spotify joe yeah um and it was from a guy called alan and he said i had a lovely conversation with joe at a railway station once but he did genuinely make me miss my train because I couldn't leave.

1:28I'm really sorry about that. That does sound like... Yeah. Completely believable, don't it? Yeah, that does... Yeah, that does... It does ring true. Yeah. Oh, God. Well, I'm glad. I wonder what the conversation was about. Do you know what I think our problem is? because what was that last week's episode? You didn't say what station it was or anything. We don't know how long last week's episode came in at, by the way, by the time it's edited. But we spent two and a half hours recording it, right? Is that fair to say, Queen Lily May? Yeah, what was that? Sorry. We spent two and a half. No, it's definitely, it's amazing.

2:13Everyone here is just absolutely rapt. They're like, you cannot... It's like one of those things where like a great actor walks on set and like everyone's kind of around the monitors just to watch them work. I think that because the Inbetweeners is one of our, collectively, all of us, our sort of earliest experiences with working full time with television, where we did just pretty much do whatever we wanted during the day. and there were people going, come on guys, can we hurry up a bit? There were people trying to. But what happened was, was that then the in-betweeners became a success and we were like, oh, you know, all this mucking about stuff that we do, that's all part of it, man.

3:01That's all, you know, that's part of our process. That's the magic. We were like those musicians who were like, no, no, we need the drugs. Yeah. And then, and then they're like, yeah, but the quantities keep increasing and you haven't done anything for five years. If I work on other stuff and I'm trying to have some fun and trying to enjoy myself, they're like, do you want to hurry this up? I'm like, no, no, no, that's not how I work, man. That's not how television works. And it's crept into our podcast career as well. I've had similar moments of thinking that. Yeah, I've found it surprising. on other projects that there isn't time.

3:49There isn't just a muck about time at the beginning so you can get out of your system. Absolutely, yeah. So when are we going to muck about then? That helps us get the energy. It gets us to where... Exactly. It gets us to the point where you think... Half an hour muck about time. Then maybe, maybe then... If you're... Yeah. If you're not looking at me like that, if you're a good boy, you might get a TV show at the end of the day. Yeah. Or maybe not. Maybe you won't. I mean, it's... Because in the end... It used to be... Why should we have to do anything? Back when we were making lobby show it was like oh this will be good extra dvd extras yeah you don't get the dvd extras anymore i know i know and i like you don't get director's commentary on stuff well what you get is i suppose all that stuff is now on social media that's where you get the adjacent no i don't think you do i've seen it i've seen the bridget and people having a laugh well like yeah Yeah, that's fine.

4:39I don't give a fuck about that. But, right, if you've got the Garth Marenghi DVD and they do director's commentary and they're all in character, it's absolutely brilliant. It's really, really good. It's the same with the Alan Partridge DVD as well. Is it? There is. What's Partridge is there doing it? There's Partridge and Lynn, like, talking about the show that they've made. But then there's also like additional directors commentary where they are just themselves talking about the show. And you don't – that insight was so exciting for me at that time. And I don't know why because there is definitely a way with streaming if you buy – I buy a lot of films off of Apple TV.

5:29I just buy them and then they're part of my catalogue or whatever. but there is definitely still room to be able to go oh can i watch this with the commentary of the people that made it um there's no bloopers there's no deleted scenes like you rarely get to see that stuff anymore it's interesting the stuff that just gets dropped by the wayside because the technology just slightly moves on yeah you might say album album artwork but it's not really yes Yes, but I feel like that's a step backwards. I'm like, yes. Yes, I agree. It's instant and it's there and it's there straight away. But there was so much stuff.

6:10The DVD. What's the DVD lifespan? It must have been like a couple of years. It went from being literally like the most futuristic thing in the world. And it was like, I've got the Matrix on DVD. Yeah. I'm a man from the future. And then it was like, yeah, it felt like a decade. I remember talking to my mum and dad and going, well, they've got a DVD player in their house. You sort of never really needed one. It just came... It was just so quick. It just came and went. Yeah. Do you know your first DVD that you ever got? I know mine. That's a question. Don't. Mine's The Gladiator. I had that on video.

6:57So that would have been... When was the gladiator? 1999, I think it was. Isn't it just called Gladiator, James? I'm not sure it's called The Gladiator. It is called Gladiator. It is called Gladiator. The Jurassic Park. The Gladiator. Sorry, I'm not... Sorry that I'm such a film buff. No, I'm being really pedantic here. Because I'm not on the emails and stuff like that. But, you know. It's Queen and the Queen again. It's 2000. 2000. 2000. Yeah. That was exactly as the DVDs were coming in. Yeah. So, yeah, your story checks out. Yeah. But that was the first film. Or you've been told a very convincing lie.

7:44No, that was the first film that me and my family as a collective had on DVD. We had that on video. Still good. Video was still good, yeah. Yeah. Had to rewind it, of course. Yeah. Imagine that. Again, I don't want to bang on about the XFM shows, but they're like, they're sort of like 2002, I don't know, 2004, something like that. Yeah. That sort of space. And they're constantly taking the piss out of Carl because they're like, not even on DVD. It's on video. Yeah. Come on. And Carl was like watching it last night because he hasn't even rewound it. It's so good. But you're quite right. It was a, they seemed to, CDs and DVDs seemed to, in a way, be quite quickly outstripped, but without really preserving the charm of like a cassette or something.

8:42There was something about cassettes I liked. You could record your own. Vinyl records. They were around for ages, the vinyl record. Yeah. DVDs don't, they don't look nice, do they? they're not and and the dvd packets are not pleasant things they always get cracked cd cases always get cracked as well it's like little um because they had like especially i'm thinking specifically about my old pc games or or old playstation games yeah station one games the little teeth in the thing in the in the middle that would hold oh yeah they'd always the disc tight yeah they'd like there's one on the xfm show again where they're like they've got the dvd but it hasn't even got a box it's just like a loose frisbee just like yeah but they would yeah every every car of that era would have cds it was like oh i've got the cd oh it's not fucking in here where is it oh here it is down the side of the seat like or the boxes smash you were constantly getting in the car being like and you're like that's a cd case like they were never they never were in good nick there was just uh i remember my dad got a cd rewriter and i was like fucking hell man this is we're future proof yeah you're like my dad's in the fucking is it mi5 i was like this is it yeah yeah like i could copy playstation games and stuff like that well yeah it's interesting when you can copy music because um i just used to put like there would be two drawers i'd put a seat I'd borrow a CD.

10:19I'd borrow an album from someone. I'd put it in my PC. It would go in and there'd be another CD drawer, the CD rewriter. Then about five minutes later, I'd just copy that whole CD and I'd go, boom. Yeah. It felt, I suppose, like, I suppose the word we'd use is it was disrupting the industry. Yeah. But also it was just sort of, it just felt like the future. It felt like, yeah, this now and in five years, anything. In five years, we will just live forever. It was like, we've already got that. Yeah. What will we have next year? The CD rewriter must have been around for seven years max as a thing that became a part of our lives.

11:05You're quite right. These short-lived - And I feel like I'm being generous there with seven years. Yeah. These short-lived technologies. I would tell you what, the real one, the best exemplar of this was the minidisc. It just came and went. Came and went. And it was really cool. That looked quite cool. My mate had a minidisc, a minidisc Walkman. Yeah. And there were tiny little CDs. Yeah. Brilliant. You'd get an album. Yeah. And he was like, oh, you know, stick it on the minidisc. Yeah. I think that was exclusively Sony Maybe I think that might have been the only brand That was doing the mini disc thing It's a big It was developed by Sony, yeah Yeah But that was That was a year Yeah The mini disc That was like That was just like My brother had one Because the CD was already brilliant It wasn't, yes it wasn't the mini disc felt like a thing it was like well we haven't moved on from the cd for a while so we better do something something it was it was just it was it was totally unnecessary and it's like oh but it but it but it's it's not it's not as wide as a cd yeah and but it was like but is it is it as thin as a cd it's like well no yeah so it was almost like if you if you do it if you chop if you chop up a cd into quarters and just folded it that was the thing that annoyed me That's all they did.

12:37That was the thing that annoyed me about the mini disc as well. Because it wasn't like something that I'd assume was from Total Recall or something like that, where it was just a tiny CD. It was a tiny CD, but it was encased in a cassette, basically. Yeah. And that annoyed me. Yeah, because it was like, well, hey, little one, come out of there. Yeah. Right? What are you doing in that case? Come on. Why can't I just get... It's like you've gone into a supermarket and you've tried to buy something. What's the light encased in the, well, again, XFM show? Condoms. Johnny's. Johnny's. It's like you've got a box of Johnny's and they're still stuck inside the box.

13:18And you have to go. You have to go to the till. Yeah. It's always embarrassing. It did seem like that. It seemed like something that, why can't it just come out, man? Yeah. What are you doing in there? but yeah CDs out your big brother's out but the gladiators what are you still in there the gladiators that was my that was my first DVD that I bought bloody good one as well it's a great film how route one is this a couple of years ago me Claire and the boys went to Rome for a holiday and I watched gladiator on the way just to get me in the mood what in Rome exactly that's what I was that's literally what I was thinking I had it on my iPad.

14:05I just watched it. I think I was on a Jet 2 flight. Do you get the boys... Nothing beats a Jet 2 holiday. Do you get the boys all training before you went there? Like the wooden sword? No, but I'll tell you something. We went all the way to Rome and I think we were a 17-minute taxi drive away from the Coliseum. Claire just was like... The day that I said, oh, we'll go to the Coliseum, Claire was like oh I can't be bothered me and Harrison went Claire and Jude were both my other kid they were just like we were there we were there we were like we were so close we were so close Claire's never seen it Claire literally did a Pilkington she was like I haven't seen it on TV and I was going no you're wrong like you are wrong because I was saying to her I get what you're saying because I do I'm very much like that myself.

15:03But me and Harrison looked at this thing that's thousands of years old, this huge structure, and it was like, I can't describe it. It was like, that's fucking amazing. That is absolutely incredible. Imagine looking at it in like, you know, 1200 AD. When it's like, we don't know how to do that. Yeah. We don't even know how to do that. I'm going to Rome this week. Oh, yeah. Are you really? you've got to see the Coliseum see it on TV me and Harrison didn't do the tour or anything like that, we didn't even go into it we stood outside it and just looked at it and we were like that's absolutely incredible and people were trying to scam us while we were outside as well it was like it was definitely like unofficial unaffiliated tour people going we can take you in we can take you in there we'll have like yeah I'll be safe yeah don't how long are you going to Rome for I'm going Thursday to Sunday my friends are running the Rome Marathon so I'm going to support them yeah well this is all linked up isn't it Rome Marathon we had marathons last week yep it's all happening anyway should we do the matrix mention the matrix matrix yeah take the red pill or the blue one I can't remember my friends at school were like I can't even explain to you what The Matrix is about mate you just gotta watch it and I'll be like is it that it's like a simulation and I can't even so it is that yeah yeah it is that okay fine so it's that but that is like what's great about The Matrix and I don't know if it's because people fucking love The Matrix I don't know if it's because I was 12 at the time when it came out it's because it's like entry level but I was just like yeah that could be true as I've gotten older I've gone like well I don't know To be fair, as I've gotten older, I don't care.

17:02Yeah, I think that's so true, isn't it? Like, the only lesson I get from the Matrix, when they're in the Matrix and that bloke, that bald fella's having a steak and stuff like that, he's going, oh, I can't believe my luck. And then when they come out of the Matrix and they're all wearing rags. Yeah, they've got a big thing. Are they covered in gloop? There's some sort of gloop involved. It's still gunge, isn't it? It was the era of gunge. I'll get some gunge. Even the Matrix needs it. Yeah. I was like, I mean, if I am in the Matrix, it's better than these lot. That's so true. Then they're eating like slop and stuff like that.

17:38Yeah. And I'm just like, put me in the Matrix.

17:44But I guess the moral is, you know, I'd rather something that's real and shit than fake and good. I didn't take that from that film. Fake and good for me. I agree. Well, I'll be happier. Yeah, you'll be happier. It won't be real. I don't care if it's real or not. Yeah, I totally agree. I think what you do as you get older is you just don't care. So that's exactly correct.

18:14Anyway, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. It's a little podcast for you. Each week we'll be bringing facts to one another that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. we'll also be digging into the weird facts that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research yourself in a segment that we we call fact check so if you do want to send us your facts our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com our whatsapp is 07822034330 you can also follow us on our socials at joeandjamespod you can also watch all our episodes in full on youtube just search for joe and james facts up now let's get facts up

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21:20So, I've already noticed here that Willish and Shitehawk have been back in touch. Because we asked about the origins of Shitehawk's name. Did we? We did. I don't remember. For whatever reason, we didn't need to know about where Willish comes from. I don't know why. Willish just sounds like a name. Shite Hawk Shite Hawk is not Have you landed on that Yeah And you'll be pleased to know James Yes That we have Had a voice note From Willish Thank God Who else I mean who else Regarding the origins Of Do you think it's because He's a bit like Will From the Inbetweeners It might be But we haven't But we haven't asked that No we haven't But I'm just thinking Oh he's a bit Willish It might be It might be actually I'll tell you he is A bit Willish Simon Bird anyway

22:16so Willish has sent us a voice note regarding the origins of his right hand man Shite Hawk's name right let's find out why is Shite Hawk called Shite Hawk hi JT and JB it's Willish with the Shite Hawk here the origins of why Shite Hawk stop it Shut up! Sorry about that. He's currently running a bath, but he likes to eat boiled eggs in it, and... No more than two! Put one back! Get egg bound! Sorry about that. So, the origins. He was on a trampoline, like a kid's one you get in the back garden, jumping away. Got quite confident, a bit cocky about it. Started jumping higher and higher. Lost confidence.

23:16See where this is going. Got so scared, it literally shook a couple of little turdlets out. A few little chocolate bum slugs were literally wobbled out. And then, yeah, got off the trampoline sheepishly with a bit of a smelly leg. Shitehawk caked knickers. Explains nothing.

23:51Only creates more questions. What's all the stuff about the... The bath. Can we hear it one more time? No, I can't slip through that again. All right. But every single... Can someone send something in that isn't just about shit? I suppose he is called Shitehawk. We are for it. It's called Shitehawk. Shitehawk. So it's because he shit... He likes to eat boiled eggs in the bath or something. Yeah, but he's only allowed to. He's only allowed to. Yeah. We've not found out the origins of Shitehawk's name. Apart from he shat himself up on a trampoline. He was airborne. He shat from a height. He shat from a height.

24:26So I'm guessing that's sort of like being shat on by a hawk, I guess. Right. Yeah. Well, you know, I think he's the hawk. Yeah, he's the hawk. He shites. Okay. Right. when he's saying not now not now was he talking to I thought I thought he was talking to someone else no I think Shite Hawk was in a bath eating his boiled eggs right and then I think he was getting greedy with the boiled eggs right so Willish was telling him not to have too many because he's only allowed two I'm assuming there'll be consequences I thought I thought at the beginning the idea might have been that that Shite Hawk was actually a dog that was like one of those riddles that Romeo and Juliet are actually goldfish right yeah yeah His horse was called Tuesday.

25:08Yeah, that's it. But it sounds as though... That's an annoying riddle, by the way. Yeah, it's just a pun. It's not a pun, is it? Oh, I've got you. Yeah. Got you there. Yeah. Rode into horse on Tuesday. It's like one of those... Stayed for three days, left on Tuesday. How is that possible? His horse was called Tuesday. Oh, well done. It's like one of those jokes where I've got the best shake in the world. Now, before I tell you it, there was this bloke, right? And his name was Fuck Off. well alright I wonder how this is going to go well it was an amazing voice note I mean I have to say I think I still feel I'm not less confused it's not cleared anything up well I guess that's just Willish's way he shat himself on a trampoline yeah that was so okay I feel like that could have been the voice note this whole he's in the bath stop it all that stuff where did that go from you can't plan when you start a voice note you don't know what's going to happen that's true it's true actually yeah it just it was just what happened in the moment it's just what didn't have time to re-record another one yeah exactly exactly it's just you know life happens and shit happens as Shite Hawk knows so go on Joe wrap this bit up okay well I've got to go for piss okay so thank you for that we do know it's kind of in the area I assumed it would be and not me and we probably I mean in a way we've probably got more questions than before we heard it but do you want him to follow up?

26:41yes yes oh okay please do about the eggs and all that yeah Willish I feel like I'd quite like to receive a voice note from Shite Hawk I'd like to hear from Shite Hawk it would be nice to hear from Shite Hawk I'm not sure on the dynamics going on there I mean to say he's enigmatic barely covers it but I mean this is a man with sort of Rasputin levels of sort of mixture of sort of mystery and all the sort of like quite bodily stuff. Like it's, who is this person? Who's got a guy basically sort of, you know, helping him with his bath. Right, Willish, get back in touch. I've got to go for a piss. Off you go.

27:23Hey, JT. Today's theme for our facts is tech. as we've been flirting with the tech world. Well, I've been saying that could be like Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah. Which I'm still... Which one, I'm still confident I could do. And two, don't think he's a brag. I don't... I'm not a tough guy. And I noticed that he hasn't, you know... He's been very quiet. He's been very quiet. So we've been doing... He can't be that busy. So our facts this week are going to be about tech. And I have gone all the way back for you, Joe, to something that I'm not 100 % sure of the pronunciation. The Antikythera mechanism. You must have heard of that.

28:17Antikythera? I don't think so. Antikythera? Or she just comes over on Boston, Dave. Antikythera? Antinora? Nora? She's got a tennis ball. That's a tennis ball. Fair record. It's the ancient Greek time machine.

28:37It's often touted as the first ever computer. Amazing. And even though I've got some facts about it, I'm not 100 % sure we actually know what it actually definitely did or how it was built or how they even knew to build this thing. But it was made of sort of spokes and gears and stuff like that. It was found in a wreckage, in a ship wreckage, I think in the Mediterranean or something like that. And it baffled historians for a long, long time. Um, because it can tell you things like when eclipses will happen, where planets will be, their alignment and stuff like that. And even, even the dates, it has the dates of Olympic games sort of in it.

29:37It will tell you, you crank something and it gives you information. Wow. Okay. Um, it was built over 2000 years ago. So there we go. So there's another sort of, there's another thing also that's like, they call an early computer, but I think that was like the 1800s or something like that, which looked like a big clock almost. A mechanical sort of. But this was over 2 ,000 years ago that this was built. And they found it, did you say, in a shipwreck? Yes. I don't know when they found it. That would have been a good bit of information. I've not got that. But it was built over 2 ,000 years ago. It has over 30 precision gears, sort of like a luxury watch.

30:31But again, thousands of years ago. And nothing that advanced shows up again for over 1 ,000 years, at least. So it was just a weird anomaly. There was obviously some clever clogs that had built this thing, didn't really explain it to anyone or document it that much. And then it went down with the ship at one point. And yeah, and to not make any kind of copies or for there to be no... Instructions or anything like that. That is strange. But it's... Now, is this a case of, was this clever clogs? actually from a galaxy far. Was it aliens? Was it aliens? I hate that. That's such a cop-out. It is a cop-out, I know.

31:25Because I do love history and I do have some... I have a tiny bit of faith in humans, right? And I hate the... As soon as we do anything good, they lie about aliens. Yeah, the pyramids. It's like, must have been aliens. you can't like give us some credit we do we do a lot of awful stuff as a species and a lot like we do so much terrible shit we do something genuinely quite intelligent and smart and incredible and amazing and astounding it's like well it must have been aliens couldn't have been us look at us yeah we are really we are a bit kind of down on ourselves couldn't have been us Yeah. But it's the equivalent, Joe, of finding an iPhone in a medieval castle.

32:21That's how advanced the technology was back then. What I find most amazing is the fact that nothing like it was then found for another thousand years. That I think is... It was just lost. But we are guilty of that, human beings, of losing technology. Of just being like, oh, I've lost it. And also, we often destroy things because they belong maybe to another civilization. So we'll burn down someone else's library. Yeah. Well, that was the Middle Ages. Constantly burning down libraries. Don't burn down libraries. It was just loads of people from Europe going to the Middle East and just burning down libraries just all the time.

33:16It was in like Alexandria or something, the famous one. Like if you were a merchant or a scholar or something like that, you'd be allowed to come in. You'd be welcome in. By all means, come on in. Don't care what religion you are. Don't care where you're from. Come one, come all. we're just very much interested in learning and sciences and stuff like that every book that you've got on right on you right now we're gonna take we'll give you a copy of it back like that was like one of the the rules i think it was in alexander and that's pre-printing press so that's that's how it was done at that time and then that library where they've been collecting all this information and all these books and all this knowledge you know we turn up don't we fucking football hooligans.

34:07It does seem like they were basically like, I'd like to hope that outside the walls of Jerusalem we were just going, England. Oh, God. But yeah, that's what happens, doesn't it? Someone does something good and then we sort of go, oh, let's not worry about documenting that. But there's your tech fact for you. I feel like I have gone. That's an amazing fact. I've gone as far back as I can do with a tech fact I like that I was I am unless you wanted to just talk about the wheel but I don't even know where to like I wouldn't even know where to begin with that well the Incas didn't have wheels that's a fact about the wheel did they not?

34:52no didn't have wheels but they're quite they're not as old no they were yeah they were very kind of cut off I think they had lots of mountains around them and the will didn't reach him didn't didn't reach him no no well there you go Joe that was my little fact the Antikythera mechanism look it up it is interesting it's way more interesting than what I just said then I loved how you put that it would compute stuff it would work things out for you you'd give it some information and it would it would spout the answer out at the end. And it was primarily, it was sort of like stuff about the planets and like navigational stuff, I guess.

35:40Yeah, time, yeah. I mean, it was on a ship. Do you think it was being used by the ship? I assume so, yeah. It must have been. Because time, they're obsessed with time on ships, wouldn't they? If you sail this, I assume they still are in planes and things. If you travel this far at this speed for this long, you will be around this area. I think a lot of... I think that's where the watch came from. Really? It was from shipping because it was so important to know how long you'd been going in a certain direction because you'd have to measure your speed in knots, which was literally knots as well. Did you know that, Joe?

36:21Yes, actually, I did know. So you're letting out a rope. Yeah. So that's your distance. Yeah. how many, how far, so yeah, how far apart are those knots? And yeah. This is very fact heavy so far, this episode. Let's stop that. Yeah, it's too. Speaking of which, it's time for fact check. Let's go. This is the part of the show where we read a fact or question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're going to have a little think during the break and decide how true it feels to us. Have you got this week's fact check, Joe? Yes, this week's fact check comes from James. Of course, yeah.

37:03Very funny. Now, we're excluding... Hang on, that's not... You've got to see the rest of his name. There's many iterations of this name that's incredible. This is incredible. So first of all, his full name is James Cameron. Yeah. And he's put not the director. He's also referred to himself as JC. Yeah. God bless. Hi, JT and JB. So this is from James. He's sent us a WhatsApp. Basically, if you want to get onto the pod, you just have to say your name is James or Joe. No, I don't want that to be a rule. No lying. And you can't lie. What an unbelievably prejudicial policy. Anyway. Willis and Shitehawk got on.

37:41Shitehawk's on. Shitehawk, yeah. James Cameron has got in touch with us. James Cameron. Hi, JT and JB. JC here. Long-time listener. First-time messenger. Nice. I recently rewatched all Peaky Blinders. and one phrase that kept cropping up was killing someone in cold blood and I've always wondered where that saying comes from humans are notoriously warm blooded I don't know about notoriously but I'd say famously but I'm not sure I'm not you know I don't think people like watch out for them you know what they say about them suspiciously warm blooded yeah so shouldn't the phrase be killing someone in warm blood would love to know your thoughts keep up the good work cheers It's James Cameron, not the director.

38:25Right. I like this. I'm looking forward to getting my teeth into this. Let's have a little break. Obviously, I'm married to a woman obsessed with murderers and serial killers. And I will tell you where that phrase comes from. And it will be fact. And it will be cut and dry. It is going to be the quickest fact check we've ever done in our lives after this break. Joe and James, Facts Up!

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41:10We were just fact-checking on the behalf of James, good name, who asked, where does the phrase killing someone in cold blood come from? Right. Here is my, and I believe this to be cut and dry, no ambiguity, there's no discussion. So killing someone in cold blood, which is an evocative phrase that a prosecutor in an American court case would throw around, killing someone in cold blood. It means that not only are they a killer, but it was premeditated. It wasn't a hot-blooded, you didn't just walk in on your wife having an affair and you just lost it and killed someone. A crime of passion. It wasn't a crime of passion.

42:02Which in French law literally gets you a reduced sentence. I think that's still true. Well, they're passionate people, the French. They are. You're like, oh, come on. They're sacre bleu. Yeah. But killing someone in cold blood is cold calculated. It wasn't emotional. It wasn't passionate. You just did it. And for some reason or another, that's worse than just a spur of the moment. The red mist came down. Something else took over me and I killed that person. this is more almost sadistic possibly torturers involved um so yeah killing someone in cold blood is that's where that comes from it's it's it's methodical it's not a crime of passion as you said i that i think that's that sounds exactly right to me i was also thinking i know for a fact if Claire listens to this which she doesn't that she'd be very proud of me right now.

43:10You did really well there. We can clip it just for Claire if you want. We could do, yeah. We do a special little package just for Claire. Yeah. It'll take you like honestly 10 seconds. She'll go, good boy, you've learned something from me. We could invent a new genre of like incredibly short podcasts in just 10 seconds. A little, I don't know, what do you call that? A pod minnow. Yeah, a mini pod. Mini pod. have you got anything to add to that joke so i feel like i've i've covered well only really that i was also thinking about that idea of i think i suppose the kind of um not good but the the more kind of oh i might do this myself uh version of this is um revenge they say revenge is a dish best served cold so this that's an idea that you sort of turn the tables somewhat that maybe but there is this sense of uh the hot bloodedness yeah if it's yourself doing it hot blooded will mean that you make poor decisions, you're ineffective.

44:07What does rugby play say? Like, fire in your heart, ice in your brain, something like that. The brain should be cool. If the brain is cool. Calm, collected. There's a thing in the book, Tristan Shandy, I think. I try to read that. I don't read many books, but I try to read. It's a weird read. Cock and ball story. It's a weird, it's a strange book. I do own it. There's loads of stuff about 40. I don't know if that impresses anyone. But I own that book. Well, at least, I mean, you know, we were saying, you haven't burned it to a cinder like some people have done to books in the past. So, you know, it's all right.

44:55That's the start. There's a bit in that where I can't remember. There's a reference to making decisions twice. once I think it's like once just before you've had sex and once after you've had sex so like once when you're passionate and once in the cold light of day it's called post nut clarity is that true? yeah I sort of that's what it's called you heard of that? post nut clarity but I guess the idea is that so if you're being if you're being self-seeking you should be maybe you should brainstorm when you're in the heat of the moment but then it's in the cold light of day that you need to go okay we're loaded this it's just bollocks but we could maybe do that my advice would be if you were like if you did find your wife cheating on you or something like have a wank first yeah i mean and then and then see then you see how you feel while while watching it i mean i would i'd i I wouldn't be able to stop myself, Joe.

45:59Yeah. It's my ultimate fantasy, of course it is. But is there also, here's something like just to, because I do think I've nailed that. I think I've absolutely nailed that. I think you have. Killed in cold blood. Yeah. Is there something that lends itself to sort of biblical,

46:21reptilian, serpentine, cold-bloodedness? seems more evil, seems more sinister. We don't, I mean, it's, it is true that there is something watchful and chilling about seeing a reptile or a snake at all. I think, I mean, as I say, I went to the zoo recently. there's um they've got a komodo drag do you have a season pass no i should because it's cost me a fucking fortune every single time i go there they go keep the receipt ring up you can take that off the price of a season and by the way the season ticket is like 70 quid yeah and the one-off ticket is like 50 quid so it's like it's genuinely mental and every time i go i'm like well i suppose it's for a good cause and i'm like what is it a good cause i'm sort of just locking the animals up but like it's like you're paying a prison you'd be like oh that's for a good cause um you know get some more put more electric fences in um and and keep them switched on yeah turn them on honestly because we know how that ends with the fucking goat leg coming down on the car yeah exactly you know we don't know what's that but there's a got with a got komodo dragon there and actually as it moves you are like us fucking chilling that like it's like it they're terrifying the komodo they're terrifying that's that that bears attenborough's name that house that can run they can run really really they can't that's then they suddenly strike they've got uh poison in their saliva so they bite the poor deer yeah i've seen that that is then it just waddles after it for four hours they just all just sit around and wait for it to slowly die yeah and that is cold blood isn't it there's something yeah we don't we don't mind a hothead do we you know give me give me xinadine zidane yeah okay even yes the headbutt perhaps you You shouldn't have done it.

48:16But look, as we've come, he's French. It's a crime of passion. Sure. It's a crime of passion. Exactly. And the other guy, he was whispering horrible things in his ear about his mum, I think, and all sorts. Can I take a little second to stick up for the French? Yeah. Just a moment here. Yeah. Because I do think that famously throughout history, the British and the French, we've We've not gone on. I don't really understand why. I'm going to be honest. I feel like it's flirting. I think it's flirting. I feel like - It is. It's the playground, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you're so annoying.

48:51You're so annoying. But I think the French, because like the most recent world wars were basically on French soil, right? I think they get a bad rap for, like, they're called chickens and they're constantly surrendering. Like the joke is, oh, the French will surrender and all this. If you, and there's a chance, there's a small chance, Joe, that I might be wrong. But if you go, if you ask Google or whatever, who has won the most wars in history, it is the French. They've had some very good victories. They have won the most wars in history as a nation, is the French. so let's give them some sexy respect and let's stop all this and let's just get off of each other.

49:54We're not the British and the French just going to stop all this silliness. We're not rivals, are we? Let's just hop into bed together. Absolutely. But no, I think the French Queen Lily May, can you back me up on that? I can back you up on that. I've had a little look and I don't know if it's necessarily like people have got like cold hard stats but it says it's widely considered that france is the country that have won the most wars in european history yeah while you're um looking stuff up yeah we didn't actually i know this is incoherent because this is actually from the previous episode okay that's fine why does stat mean oh christ yeah we never got to the bottom about that, do we?

50:36No. We never... You better put that in the description. In this week, we get to the bottom of why Stat is Stat. Something... Yeah, we said we... This is so incoherent. We forgot. We just lost our train of thought, finished the episode. It was fucking long anyway. Yeah, where did Stat come from? What is it short for? What's it an acronym for? Should we try and have a guess quickly? Have you got any ideas? No, I genuinely don't. And it's something I have thought about before. I need 20 cc's of this Stat. Right, do you want me to reveal? Yes, please. Oh, please, for the love of God, put us out of our misery.

51:06So, it actually comes from, it derives from Latin. The Latin word statim, which means instantly or immediately. Right. Okay. Do you know what, Jo? I feel a bit stupid now. We never would have got that. Because, no, I think between the two of us, if we'd have spent a little bit of time, because there's so much Latin in medicine. Yeah. Yeah. we may have got to that actually we might have got to that and we would have looked like geniuses we should have thought of Latin but no we don't we look like the fools that we are yeah you're right but you're our fools should we get to the bottom while we've got Queen Lily May with us should we get to the bottom of someone in cold blood I feel like I've described that as perfectly as possible I don't think there's any debate there at all it was described very well You did describe it very well.

52:01You've done a very good job. Yeah, it is a sort of generally kind of considered a sort of characteristic and a trait in terms of like it being cold blooded. There is a little bit of extra stuff. So it's the sort of earliest uses of this is around the 1600s, early 1600s. 1500s um and they believe the first book it was ever used in was commentaries of the divers pieces of a service and it said a resolution framed in cold blood um and again it's sort of just linked to the um characteristics when people sort of temperature rose but then when you're angry you kind of take a step back and then you act in cold blood once your blood has cooled down um but there is another idea speaking of the french um there is a french word called sang freud which means in cold blood but in the french meaning it's kind of calmly with composure which kind of generally is given a more positive spin so you acted with composure and it's seen as a positive thing however the translation for us is uh more negative yeah so it's in yes so cold bloodedness really we like it in ourselves but we don't like it in other people i think that would be my that would be my analysis of of of that or well no actually maybe that's true because that doesn't work with this if you're doing something worthwhile it's good to be calm if you're doing something bad it makes it even worse if you're calm yeah to further add i've actually just seen as well uh there was a general belief in doctors that your emotions and your actions were closely linked so if you acted coldly you were maybe believed to genuinely be right there was a physical that they believe those two things were linked so why do people say you're getting hot when you're angry that is interesting that is sort of because you do you do i don't know if you do or not actually to be fought but to be honest with you but you do feel physically hot if you're angry if you're yeah there is there is there's some it's it's very base it is very base it's like how maybe probably your blood supply you're probably your pulse has gone up so more blood is reaching i don't know you're the extremities of your body and therefore you are maybe literally hotter do you think because maybe well your if you have an elevated pulse yeah when blood's hot blood is going around your body more quickly so the body works so hard to keep you at a constant temperature it does yeah um but it is interesting that that you do feel a physical um it's not just in your mind or just anecdotal whatever you do feel if you're angry you do you get your face can go red you can i think that when you're feeling really angry about something it's quite a good time to make a decision about something else so often if you have if there's something that you're really really hot up about yeah then you're like i don't want to do about that and you just want to sort it out it's quite good to use the energy to sort out completely unrelated matter right so So like, I think you can see, so I think basically anger will distort your ability to see a problem clearly.

55:31Yeah. But it will make you completely disinterested and disinterested in the positive sense. It will make you completely neutral and objective on an unrelated matter. If there's something that's really, really winding you up and you're like, I just really, really want to sort that out. Don't sort that out because you'll make a bad decision because you're a head up. Sort something else out. I'll be honest with you, I don't get that one. Okay. I genuinely feel... I don't get that one. Let's say you need to write a difficult email and you've been putting it off and you need to turn something down.

56:07Yeah. Wait till you're really, really worked up about something else. And now your difficult email, you say, well, in comparison to this thing, I'm genuinely upset about the moment. The difficult email feels like nothing. This doesn't seem so bad. Right, I've got you. I'm back with you. That's a little bit of advice from Planet Joe. Right. Well, there we go. That is, what did we say? What did we just be talking about? So that was fact up. That was fact up. That was fact up. That was, well, it wasn't fact up. Oh, cold bloodied. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, it wasn't. No, I enjoyed that because. Yeah, it's true.

56:38Fact up. Yeah, but James Cameron was asking us what, wasn't asking whether something was a fact, was just asking where the phrase comes from. Where does it come from? And I enjoyed that because it gave me license to go, well, I'll tell you where it came from, boyo. So thank you very much, James Cameron. James Cameron and good luck with the forthcoming avatar. Quadrilogy or whatever it is. You've got some amazing tech there. How many avatars have come out now? Two. Two. There's only been two. Oh, yeah. Famously techs from ages. I went to see the first avatar. But, you know, one save made one. You've got a sort of slightly weird thing about some blue people.

57:16So it's really worth it. The first avatar, right, I'm not joking. and I support film and television. And I admit that I'm on shaky ground. I'm on thin ice. I can't start calling out other films, right, or other projects. That film is shit. The first Avatar film is so fucking boring. the only reason i went to the cinema was because 3d was the thing and it would it was just this it was like 3d is going to take over the world so i went to the cinema i got those little glasses and they gave me those the annoying thing is i've got a lazy eye yeah i've got a lazy eye and i cut at this eye is i can't see very well i've only got one good eye so that doesn't help when you're trying to watch a 3D film.

58:14So I was watching a 3D film that was sort of blurry to me anyway. And also the film was shit. And I was just like, this is so long and boring. I went to see a 3D film with Ian Morris once in LA. And the only film that was available in 3D was this children's film about like action rodents or something. Like it was, a man had taught rodents how to speak in a lab. If you say an anecdote, right, Joe will top you. Joe will come if you go oh this was this weird thing I did Joe will go oh you think that's weird yeah well no but I just the only thing I remember about the film is that like the scientists are taught like chipmunks how to speak or something and his boss came into the lab was it Elvin and the chipmunks?

59:00no it wasn't no no no it was called something like what are they what do they call themselves they're like prairie dogs What? Chipmunk S? Hang on, no. It was called something like, I'm just trying to think of a pun.

59:19No, hang on. It was called like the CIA Modillos or something, or like the FBI Rodent or something. Was it Spies in the Skies? Something like that. Was it about pigeons? No, they were definitely rodents. basically this scientist I need to talk about spies in disguise this scientist who was supposed to be working for either FBI was it G-Force probably and it was guinea pigs yeah guinea pigs yeah so he's what are you and Ian Morris going on I don't know because it was in 3D right by the way so basically by the way before you carry on you and Ian Morris look like pedophiles there was no one in there there was no that makes it worse

1:00:07it was in 3d it was in 3d we went in and stop saying it was in 3d and all i remember is that there was this scientist he was supposed to he's used government funding and he was supposed to be doing one product uh one project but instead he'd used all his funding and all this time to teach guinea pigs how to speak and his boss came in and was like what the hell are you doing you wasted all our money he was like he's fucking taught guinea I know yeah that's pretty good that's the biggest scientific breakthrough ever you stupid idiot you wasted our money you've wasted you've given us nothing and the guinea pigs were like what he hasn't turned they were like you shut up as well it was ridiculous and then occasionally like a big beam of wood had come out or something and I just kind of go oh god and it just made me feel kind of squeamish and like as I've got the lazy eye as well so I could barely fucking see anything anyway I think we just left I was like I feel sick I don't like I've just written down the word fire up dead right but this is interesting because this this leads I mean I don't think during that story I wrote it down no but what are we doing we've moved I've got my fat I think we've transitioned into Joe's facts it's my facts so you also because my facts we go it's your facts but my facts hang on let me my fact is related right well let me just tee this up a little bit oh sorry yeah yeah so what was that cows lying down what was it no that was the last episode that was the last one that was oh my god in cold blood we've got to get out of this room we have to get out of this room that was us talking about in cold blood we've done that we've done fact check now's the time the point of the show where Joe presents us with a fact and apparently all that weird stuff that he just mentioned is going to lead into his fact it is actually going to lead in and also we should say if there's something you'd like us to fact check head to our episodes description for all the ways to get in touch oh nice one yeah pretty slick from me and as i uh just promise you it is a related fact it's tech fact we were speaking about 3d uh films and so on my fact is about smell-o-vision which is something that i've me and you are both obsessed with this We're both, yeah.

1:02:23We're both sort of like, we both think about smell-o-vision quite a lot. It's interesting. I feel like it was a thing in the 60s. It's not a very sexy area. Like, I'm always like, why is my fucking printer so shit? And it's because no one wants to work on printers, do they? I'm sure we could sort out printers. Tell you something, I've got a shit hot printer. What is it? I've had it for about 10 years. I'm not even joking. it is don't get me wrong it works one times out of ten yeah I don't know what but that's just printers right they never want to work printers never want to work ever it's amazing how it's a how in favour of this printer you are but when it does work it's brilliant what the fuck does that mean it's a that's like that's like something they say what do you mean it's brilliant what is it it's a HP I've got an HP inkjet 200 200, I think it's called, right?

1:03:22It's also a scanner. Well, get it. It looks like a mini. When you have a moment, have a proper check. Do you remember when you were a kid in primary school and your teacher would go, can you make 20 copies of that? And you felt like the luckiest person in the world because you got to go to the copy machine. Yeah. And the copy machine was taller than you. It was an incredible thing, the copy machine. It's a very sort of diluted version of the copy machine, which I think is probably why I love it so much. Because you've actually got a glass thing on it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's got that. But it's an, it's a, what do they call it?

1:03:56It's not a, it does color, but it's a, it's not a scanner, but it's a, oh, what's the word called? It prints like fucking, like nobody's business. It just fires out. It doesn't do that thing where it's like. Yeah. It just like shoots it out. Is that like a normal thing these days? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I would say actually most printers are less temperamental. I'll be honest with you, and it's held up really well. It was one of the first printers that connected to your Wi-Fi. So I can print when it does decide to work. I can print from my phone. I can be like downstairs and I'll have something that I need to sign and I can just send it to my printer.

1:04:45but like I say nine times out of ten it won't connect it won't do it it doesn't want to do it and this printer is shit hot but it's so good it does sound amazing it is so good can you remind me to get a picture of it and we'll no don't you will go what the fuck's he doing well I'll ask her to print one out now and then there'll be a one in ten chance no I'm going to make sure there is a printer if you're watching this on youtube you'll you'll see a picture of it uh and it's a really good fucking printer i can't wait it might i mean i've got when it works it doesn't work all the time is the only problem no but i so so i am i am interested in in smell of vision because i feel that it's we've never really bothered to you know there's no way that like laser jet sorry it's not an hp no it's hp but it's laser laser jet that's what it's called okay back to smell the vision but it's in it's in color yeah no no but i'm also i'm also interested in printers and and for example i had a samsung once and it never bloody worked and it turns out that it's just because samsung and apple don't get on yeah they don't they hate each other what you're meant to be you're meant to be like you're meant to be what the fuck talk about some cold-blooded this from you guys please like the french and the british they just need to suck each other off and just get over and i really it and who who pays the price we do we do as per right okay fact for us so smell-o-vision You know, it's not one of those technologies where President Kennedy would have stood up and said, we will show we're the greatest country in the world because by the end of the decade, Americans will be smelling their television.

1:06:49It's just not a showy technology. We will smell television and do all the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Yeah, exactly. So, and as a result of this, really hasn't really… Smell vision. So a chap called Mike Todd Jr. in 1960 founded a company called Smell-O-Vision. It was available as a name. Good. And the idea was that as you watched films, the film reel would trigger the release of bottled scents, allowing the audience to smell the film. Only one film was ever made using this technology. Using Smell-O-Vision. It was 1960s. Was it the creature from the bog or something like that?

1:07:40Yeah. It was the 1960s film, Scent of Mystery. So they're covering all their bases. They're like, if they get the smells wrong, they're like, yeah. What's that smell? Exactly. Yeah. You decide. It was the only film to ever make use of the technology. and that is really that as far as i love that though i love that sort of uh you know sort of late 50s i know late 50s to late 60s what a bizarre sort of pioneering yeah anything's possible i know i know time to be especially i i feel especially if you were in america i believe I believe so as well. I really think they had a sense of like, there are no limits here at all.

1:08:34We're going to have like the Jetsons, like we're going to live like the Jetsons in the next couple of years. Like I genuinely think like that was what was in their heads. I know. Again, specifically if you were in America in the 60s. I agree. Well, I think after the Second World War, Europe was just totally bankrupt. We were on our ass. Yeah, we were on our ass. And they'd emerged basically fine and had lots of money. Well, they'd funded a lot of stuff. But certainly they had the money. Yeah. And it must have just seemed like an unbelievable time. Oh, God, yeah. It was great. I remember there's a bit in American Post-A-Roll where - Say what you like about the Second World War.

1:09:11It was great business for America. Right. It was fucking brilliant. It really did just set the tone for the next hundred years. Well, they were just the only ones earning money after it. Yeah. There's a bit in American Post-A-Roll by Philip Roth where he's saying, He's saying, let's remember the energy. And it's amazing. America was paying for everything. It was just doing everything. And that is summed up by Smell-O-Vision. But the only other, as far as I can tell in my life, the only other time this has briefly come back is there was, I think it was a comic relief one year where the Radio Times had, I think, a little scratch and sniff where you could at various times.

1:09:49Well, PlayStation used to do scratch and sniff games. I had, I can't remember which one it was, Gran Turismo 2, I want to say. What, so you could smell the... It might have been one. The CD was bobbly and you sort of rubbed it and on Gran Turismo you could smell burnt tyre. I think there was a FIFA game as well, one of the FIFAs that smelled like wet grass. That's interesting. You say it's interesting. Did it work? I don't know whether I just made that up in my brain. I've got a memory of that happening It is real Thank God for that Otherwise you will need to put me in a straitjacket So there you go And as far as I'm aware Megavision is still Sort of To be fair it does make sense And if you're 1960 in America Where you feel like Anything's possible Where you feel like some real technological advances are going to be made any minute now with nasa and things like that that's going on um then you start to you start to look at cinema if you work in cinema and you go well you know the the idea is to is to be is to evoke emotion and uh and then you go well what's what's one of the most evocative senses smell it does it seems like a logical sort of step yeah to include that in the experience of going to a cinema.

1:11:25Yeah. Smell is definitely the least sort of noble of the senses. I think it's probably the most kind of... I can't really think of... It's linked to memory, isn't it? But yeah, it's incredibly... Well, Proust, his Remembrance of Things Past is basically just... I haven't read it. I think almost no one has. But you've smelt it. I've smelt it. I got a whiff of it and I thought yeah I get it but he smells some Madelins does he is there some like these cakes I know the name and it takes him back it takes him all the way back and he's like oh god I'm back there right and that's the gist of it fair enough he goes oh god I'm back there fair enough hey should we he writes it all down and then nothing goes to the publisher we do need to wrap this up we've got to wrap it up we have got to wrap this up so it's the end this is it I'm all fact out I'm definitely all fact out by this point.

1:12:24What have we learned today, Queen Lily May? What? But we don't even know. You thought we were doing the cow one. Do you know what, man? That was the last episode. I'm going to ask that you sum up what we learned from every episode from now on. Right. So from now on. I can't remember. Did you hear that? He said from now on. No, but I can't even remember my own facts. You've done a good job. I'll do it. Oh, go on then. Well, no, because we want to finish this now. I'll do it. No, all right. I'll be able to remember. So. What have we learned? So we've learned that there was. Cows lie down. No. We've learned that there was an astonishing computation machine discovered on a shipwreck that appeared to be, that was 2000 years old.

1:13:06I forgot that. Yeah. That was my fact. We learned that. What's the fact check? Also, can you put. We learned that in cold blood means killing somebody with a lack of emotion that is really more evil than killing them in hot blood and we learned that there was only ever one film made that released smells into the audience. And what was it called? It was called Scent of Mystery. Brilliant. Alright. Well, carry on, Joe. We hope you've learned something or had a nice time. Doesn't necessarily need to have been both. We'll be back next week armed with more facts, chats and the latest apps because it's tech.

1:13:46Absolutely, yeah. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something um that feels true for you we'll do the research me and joe will talk bollocks for a bit um or whatever nonsense that you want to get to us our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com our whatsapp is 07822 034 330 and you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod and head to the podcast description podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. Thanks, guys. That's an end of the episode. Goodbye. Let's wait for some more of this bollocks. Bye. Bye.

1:14:24Joe and James, Factor.

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