Soorrrryyyyy!!

0:01I know you want to get into this episode of Fact Up, but just before we do, you're going to want to hear this first. On Help I Sexted My Boss, quite the mystery is unfolding as Jordan North's microwave has been stolen by one of his mates. It's not exactly something you can sneak out of the house easily. You're going to want to hear how the boys unpack this drama. Search for Sexted and get the episode lined up to play next.

0:30I'm Claire Buckley and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed, then you are going to love my podcast, Pretty Scary. From terrifying true crime, haunting ghost tales, creepy alien encounters and anything weird, it's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything. Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness. Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley. I've got like this little list of what I call in-betweeners memories. This one isn't really in-betweeners memory, but it's just, I thought it'd be fun to talk about the time we went for dinner with Stephen Merchant.

1:11Oh yeah, and I think we were quite weird, weren't we? Yeah. That doesn't tell me.

1:18Oh, God. It's week two. Oh, come on, look. I am so close to completely falling apart mentally. Joe and James.

1:37Hey Joe. Yeah. We're sat in a podcast studio, right? Yeah, man. We've got microphones in front of us. Yeah. Here's some cameras there. Yeah. Fancy doing a podcast? Yes, please. Okay. Well, welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Each week we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting the more true it is we'll unpack it debate it and then probably wander off into something completely unrelated we'll also dig into weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research in a segment that we're calling fact check so look after look look out for that yeah in the show you're not going to want to miss that so it'll be very clear when it's if you do want to send in your facts to us so that we can give it the once over.

2:24Email us, hello at joeandjamespodcast.com or you can WhatsApp us 07822 034 330. And also you can get in touch with us on our socials, which is just at joeandjamespod. Yeah. And I should say the email address is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Oh, what did I say? Podcast.com. Oh, no. That's a bit of important information. Yeah. Well, it's, you know, maybe it might still work. Okay, I'll just say, don't email hello at joeandjamespodcast.com. Do email hello at joeandjamespod.com. Yeah. I feel like that's made it more complicated. It was, I'm quite confused now. Send it to both and BCC it to my dad. BCC it to jamesbuckleyatgov.co.uk.

3:18Right, let's get fact up, shall we? Let's get fact up. I've got a little beer here. I'm ready to get fact up. Yeah. How are you, Joe? I'm fine, thanks. Yeah, I've got a little coffee here. Gone for the coffee? I'm in a coffee. Yeah, I can already tell it's a mistake. I've gone for the beer. I've gone for the beer. Sorry I was late to the studio, by the way. I was just so busy. You know what my life's like. Yeah, what were you doing? Just doing some charity work or something. I was dropping off my Rolex to get fixed. Awful. Awful. But we all know, we've all been there. We all know what that's like, don't we?

3:49I know. It's good. It's something that everyone can relate to. Yeah, exactly. Me, Harry and Megan. Yeah, absolutely. We're just dropping off our Rolexes because we're just men of the people. Yeah. And it's hard, isn't it? Because you've got to find, yeah, you've got to find a good specialist, I suppose. You do. You can't muck about with a Rolex. Hey. It's a real, it's a real sacrifice you make when you get a Rolex, isn't it? It is. To be fair, I've only got one nice watch and that's it. Like, I'm not like a watch guy. However, I'm not a watch guy. I'm a Bond guy. Yeah. I'm a Bond nerd. Yeah. And the watch that Sean Connery wears as James Bond is a Rolex Submariner.

4:28And that's why I bought that. A no date Rolex Submariner. And that's why I bought that watch. No date. It doesn't tell you the date. It doesn't even tell you the date, Joe. So it was, it gave me less information than my gold Casio, which I don't think was real gold because it cost me 30 quid from Topshop.

4:50It worked. It didn't work as well as that one. But I liked feeling like Bond. So is the idea that if you're a submariner, you don't really need to know what day it is? No, because you can get a date. You can get a date. You just didn't. Yeah. Do you want to know the date? No. But do you want to know the time? Yes. That was it. What an odd combo. I need to know the time, but not the date. I just wanted to feel like Bond. Yeah. That was it. That was all I wanted to think, which is really tragic. And they're really expensive. But I think we've discovered I'm not Bond. I'm not Theo. I'm not Theo James.

5:33Well, I was going to say, we did talk about Theo James last week, and we heard James from somewhere, possibly a dream, me from James, that Theo James had got a Bond audition. That now is locked in as fact. And it annoyed us because we're jealous. Because he's got too many things going. He shouldn't be allowed to be handsome and nice and funny. We touched on that last week. And talented. He's a good actor as well. And he's a good actor as well. And talented, of course. Do you know what, Ryan? I bet he's good at football. I bet he is. I bet he's good at football as well. I bet he always seems like he's got loads of time on the ball.

6:15Do you know what I mean? That's always the thing that I think. I don't get enough of the time. I don't get any time on the pitch. It's now got to the point where I can tell that people who I used to turn up for when they were a man short, now I sometimes offer myself when they're like, yeah, yeah, just waiting on a couple of those. But yeah, maybe definitely, yeah. Yeah, maybe definitely. Yeah, I mean, it's just like five-a-side teams. Yeah. I'm now getting to the point where I'm turned down. for a man's five-a-side team in London. They'll take anyone. They'll take a duck or something, but they won't take me.

6:47And you're standing there on the sidelines going, I still go, yeah. You haven't got enough players on the pitch. I know. And I try and get on, I try and come on and then I get him on and they call the police. And I'm naked and I've, you know, and I've, and I've just written on my chest, please. Yeah. Well, this is an opportunity for us, right? Yeah. Where I thought that maybe we could do a little Bond audition right now. Good idea. Maybe just a line or two. Just a line or two. Just down the camera or something where we can just throw a hat in the ring. Yeah. We've not been considered yet for Bond, have we, the pair of us?

7:29No. And it's because they've got a very, very cliched idea of what a secret service agent should be. Yeah. Oh, it needs to be somebody who doesn't panic. Yeah. Whereas really, if you did, you know, intelligence, counterintelligence and all that sort of stuff, they're little nerds. They're little nerds. So if you wanted to make Bond gritty and realistic, which I think is like, you know, because we don't want like a sexist Bond anymore. And we don't want sort of, we need in realistic, a Bond for now, a Bond for this day and age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's a little computer nerd? I mean, I completely agree.

8:06and I think a Bond is not afraid to fail as well. That's why, you know, people would be like, I could see him, you know, really fucking it up. Yeah. And actually ending up just needing a lot of therapy. Yeah. But I think that that would be something that modern men could actually, you know, benefit from. You know, we don't have to be good at anything. No, of course. Yeah. so yeah do you reckon i could just do my little my bond audition right now just i reckon i think yeah i think so i think you should do a little bond audition right i've had a little tussle with some geezer in a okay bathroom right right yeah um all right

8:48i've thrown him in the bath yeah he's always having he's always just getting out the bath for the shower is bond he is and he ends up having a fight yeah and then he uses his towel in some kind of deadly way. So I've done all that, thrown the bloke in the bath, I've chucked something electrical in the bath, right? He's fried. And I just look to the camera and I go, absolutely shocking. Perfect. Barry, you're in. That is a Bond line. That is from Bond. And yeah, that's, I think that's, well, it's a lot about puns, isn't it? It's more about like. What's the one where Conor is? And there's no one to hear it.

9:23The bloke's dead. There's no one else there. He's just doing it for himself. He's just doing it for himself. psychopathic. Yeah. He should be on social media, shouldn't he? He should be able to be like. He should take a picture of it. Then absolutely shock him. Oh, he should be on TikTok. He's just trying some bloke in the bath. He's electrocuted. And we've gone, absolutely shocking. And he's fighting him with one arm. Yeah. You're not going to bother after that. Do you want to? You don't have to, but. I'm going to, I'm going to try. Those things I grew up with, the Pierce Brosnan bond. Yeah. Yeah.

9:51I thought he was pretty good, actually. He was great. Yeah. Great bond. Just so you know, Piers, I thought you were pretty good. Piers, I thought you were brilliant. So, and he was more of a kind of metrosexual kind of, he was a little, had a slightly more feminine energy, I think. I quite, he wasn't - I've got a theory about bonds, right? You're either Roger Moore or Sean Connery. Daniel Craig, serious guy. Yeah. Serious. And I think what the world needs right now is a little Roger Moore type bond. Yeah, I agree. A little sort of wisecracky sort of, yeah just a bit more suave a bit more makes a joke yeah absolutely well let's just say so I recall there's a line I liked in well I'm going to say I can't remember go on I might remember for you which one is it what's the first Pierce Brosnan one the first Pierce Brosnan is GoldenEye yeah what's the second Pierce Brosnan one second Pierce Brosnan Tomorrow Never Dies is it Tomorrow Never Dies yeah I think it is yeah and he's about to be and then it's The World Is Not Enough that's right right I like the bit where he's going, there's a guy who's kind of a sort of, he's a kind of media baron.

10:55Yeah. And he's going to start a war. Absolutely. Just so he can report on it. Guy with the glasses. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's right. It's a long, he's playing the long game, isn't he? Yeah, and I remember he's got a big screen and he's writing to Morey's News and he's going. Yeah. On a little, and actually that just looks incredibly difficult. He's like, just get a keyboard.

11:17I don't like those things in movies. I don't like all those computers that surround you, where it's like, bring it up. They're just sort of like bringing stuff to them and like swiping it away and stuff like that. I know. Yeah. I often feel, I feel like I see, I often, I literally see even on sports programs where they're like, let's just get the clip up. I know the one you've just, I don't need to see. Also, you can see. It's like watching your dad trying to Google something. You can see that they've just drawn around players on like an iPad. Yeah. It's like these players here. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so he's doing that.

11:57And he says that they're about to be tortured. Right. And Pierce Brosnan says, I'd have thought watching your TV shows was torture enough. And actually, it's so funny. The guy actually goes, fuck you. Right. Yeah. It's good. So that's what, that's my audition. That's good. That is really good. Good luck, Theo. How do you like doing a podcast, Joe? I quite like it. Is it good? Are you enjoying it? We're episode two. We're the second episode in. I really like it. Obviously, mine and yours reference to podcasting is, of course, probably the greatest podcast ever made and will ever be made. It's the Ricky Gervais show, right?

12:33Perfect. And I was thinking the other day about how we went to dinner with Stephen Merchant one night. Yeah, I remember this. Yeah. It was us and the other boys from The Inbetweeners and Ian Morris, who's the co-creator of the Inbetweeners and we were in Los Angeles and like we're such huge fans of The Office and extras and all that and Ian Morris kept saying we're going for dinner tonight I've arranged it I've got a little special companion who's going to join us you're going to love it our expectations were extremely low weren't they? anyway fucking one of our heroes oh I mean yeah yeah definitely Definitely.

13:18Little fact. There you go. Little fact for you. There are two characters. Fucking, it's everywhere. I know. Yeah. There are two characters in extras that work for the, I think they work for the BBC. Yep. And they're called Ian Morris and Damon Beasley. They're called Ian Morris and Damon Beasley. And they are named after the guys that wrote In Between Us, Ian Morris and Damon Beasley. That is absolutely right. But yeah, we went for dinner in LA with Stephen Merchant and the problem I had was with that evening yeah was that because I had listened to the Ricky Gervais and also all the XFM shows and stuff before that yeah I've got them all like I've downloaded them all off of some weird website somewhere or something and now you can get them on Spotify and like you can get like the best of like I think I think XFM have like volume one volume i'm not sure about those no i'm not sure about those i'm talking they're they are available they're they anyway the xfm shows you had them on a kind of yeah i managed to i managed to find every single episode pretty much they ever made and um and so when he was when first of all when steve merger was telling us an anecdote i didn't but i wanted to go i've already heard this i've already heard this like a hundred times um because he was telling us about when he got um when he lost his trunks or something in Rio de Janeiro.

14:41Yeah, I was like, yeah, I know. And there were the pretty women on the beach and the wave came in. I wanted to like finish. But I wasn't sitting there going, oh, I've already heard this one. It was like I was listening to like a greatest hits live. And I was like, yeah, go on, go on. Get to the bit where you lost your glasses at that point. Yeah, I was trying to skip forward. Yeah. But also a problem that I've got with that podcast, right, is that because I've listened to it so many times, I now say anecdotes from that podcast. Yeah. Because it's in my brain, I can't differentiate from real life.

15:19So I'll say, oh, what was it? My mate, actually, he was in Rio de Janeiro and this thing happened to him. And then someone's gone to me, isn't that from the Ricky Gervais podcast? And I go, yes, no, that wasn't my mate. That wasn't my mate at all. That was a podcast I've listened to over and over and over again so much. I now think they're my friends.

15:46But now we've got our own. We've got our own now. Will it be as good as the Ricky Chavez podcast? Don't answer that question, Joe. No point. There's no point. It's obvious. I think it's obvious. I think we can all agree. We know what the answer is. Absolutely. And I don't want to offend either party by actually saying it out loud. I wouldn't, Joe. I wouldn't. I wouldn't because they're heroes to us. And I wouldn't want to... I don't want them to worry. Is this podcast better than Richard? Leave us out of it. Yeah. Collective of Charity. Come on. Come on. All the money collected was for both dancers.

16:20I mean, well done again on The Office. Hey, should we do a fact? Yeah, let's do a fact. All right, let's do a fact. Oh, shit. Okay. You ready for a fact, Joe? Yeah, am I going first this week? I think you might be. But hold off one second.

16:41This summer, wherever you go, take your favourite podcasts with you. I downloaded the Surgeon of St Helena series for the flight. Well, I bet you finished it. Yeah, before we landed. We put the Jack and Ash show on for the road trip and somehow we took the wrong exit because we were laughing. Worth it if you got to finish the episode. Well, I listen to the Holiday Expert show every week. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're always trying Chelsea's tips. They've saved me a fortune. Wherever summer takes you, hit follow on your favourite podcasts and search Audio Always on any podcast app to discover your next favourite listen.

17:25Right, now we said that last week our facts were going to be about tubes. Week two. Yes. already on tubes. Have you thought outside of the box on that one? Because I haven't. I have. If thinking about the London Underground is thinking outside the box. I knew you would do that. Yeah, because it's the tube. You know, I use the tube. I, you know, I use the tube. I just, there's not a second part to that. I suppose I know, but you know what it is. So I don't know what distinction I'm making. The London Underground. The London Underground. There you go. And it's trains, they go on to London and they take you where you need to go.

18:10Yes. And I have got a quite good fact, I think. So, you know, the thing on the London Underground that says Mind the Gap. Go on. And then for a while, it was actually, it was all done by this actor called Oswald Lawrence. Mind the Gap. Mind the Gap. Yeah. And then it began to get digitised, right? And for whatever reason, they stopped using his voice as different stations became like, they had this digital voice instead. Yeah. And eventually it was only at the Northern Line embankment where you had Mind the Gap. And that's this - The original. Is it still there? Do you know? Well, interesting.

18:51So - Go. He died. Yes. And his widow used to go to embankment station every day just to hear his voice. That's heartbreaking. Which is really - And then one day she went - So sad. One day she went and it wasn't there. Finally, Embankment, the last station on the line to be digitised, had been digitised and they'd got rid of Oswald Lawrence's voice. But, and she was heartbroken. She was like, well, I can't hear him. But there's a nice ending, which is that TFL went into the archive. They found Oswald Lawrence's voice. The recording of it. And they have reinstated it at that station. So if you go to the Northern Line Embankment, And you can hear Oswald Lawrence, who is a rather trained actor.

19:38And he's got that kind of received English mind. Yeah. The gap. Yeah. Almost like a sort of like RP, kind of BBC 1950s kind of voice. Yeah, I love it. Yeah. And I mean, in a way, just have it everywhere. I don't know why. I don't quite know why. What does digitised mean? I don't know. I keep saying it. But also like. You've got a vote. What do you mean? I feel like that's why people go to London. They want to hear. They want to hear that sort of thing, don't they? His voice. Yeah. There's also a fact about the tube map. This isn't my fact. Yeah, go on. But, and I'm reaching right in the back of my brain here.

20:15Yeah. We might need to get someone who's got a laptop near us to sort of help me out a little bit. But the guy that made the tube map that we know and love. because tube maps went through different sort of iterations where they were originally more sort of squiggly and would fit a genuine geography map. Yeah, that's right. And then this guy came up with this idea of just making it like really super simple, all straight lines and da-da-da. And I think they screwed him over or something. I think they like, I think they gave him a tenner and was like, oh, cheers for that. And then it became this iconic thing that ended up on T-shirts.

20:55Yeah, I feel like that's the kind of thing that used to happen quite a lot. And I think he did sort of go, hey. Hang on a minute. Is there any way I can get some kind of royalty here? Who's the guy, by the way, that made that tube map? His name was Harry Beck. Harry Beck. It was originally, so he submitted it to the London Underground in 1931 and it was considered too radical. Yeah. But he continued to distribute it anyway. And then it became so popular that they basically did a version of it, but not his. Yeah, I see. And then he tried to gain control of that, basically claim it as his own, but he never basically managed to do it.

21:34And then he was posthumously recognised in 2022. Very good. Another interesting thing that I find about our country is that we have to do quite a lot of posthumous, like, oh, sorry about, like sort of Alan Turing, where it's like, I think he might have invented the computer, but it seems as though all you guys are doing is chemically castrating him. Oh, sorry. Thanks for inventing the computer. It turned out to be a good idea. Sorry about ruling your life. It was the bloke that did the Enigma Code. And that was a big sorry. Yeah, no, that was him, Alan Turing. Yeah, basically, he cracked the Enigma Code, but they were like, yeah, well done, but what's all this gay stuff?

22:15No, no, no, we'll talk about the Enigma Code in a minute. What? We've heard. And then it took fucking ages. and that's probably I mean in a way like we haven't got a very good you know IT industry in this is it called IT? yeah information I have conversations with my mum about AI quite a lot and she always calls it IT right it's quite sweet I think she's like are you worried about IT? I'm getting annoyed with people just calling everything AI now yeah I know it's become a bit so like it's kind of the new mindfulness like people are going to start people are going to start going typing 2 plus 2 in a calculator and it gives you the answer and go fucking AI fucking AI yeah no I know I know there is a difference between between CGI yeah just computing yeah and AI is a completely different thing it's a different thing yeah

23:01right we should probably move on Joe yeah because like did you like that fact though I thought that was a sweet fact right I'm gonna yes I've just remembered it yeah yeah I thought that was a good one it was a good one yeah and also and I will say this I really want to stress this they won't all be good no that's fine that's fine that was a good fact but I will say this if there's any way we could start some kind of movement what was his name oscar oswald lawrence oswald lawrence yeah if we could get oswald lawrence's voice back on the entirety of the tube of the tube network yeah i think we i think that's something i think it would i think it would uh boost morale in london a much needed boost yeah i think because london is quite grumping around well everyone takes everything so seriously yeah we do need to move on that was a wonderful fact joe i really enjoyed that man thank you um but it is time for fact check yep um this is the part of the podcast where you send in something that that uh i'm gonna say this part is i'm quite fast and loose with this phrase here feels like a fact that's what this whole podcast is about to be honest with you yeah um it feels like a fact to you and you'd like us me and Joe, the authority, to confirm if it is true or false.

24:20Last week, we tried giving it a look up on the internet, but we've decided that we've probably know better. We're going to find out what fact one of you have sent in for us to check, and we're going to have a good old ponder during the break. And we'll come back to you and let you know how true it feels to us, and then decide whether it passes our fact check. Absolutely. Because that's how the world works now, Joe. That's how it works. Come on. we're not going on the internet ever again. There's no such thing as fact and fiction. It's just whatever you feel. What do you feel? You create your own reality, don't you?

24:55Exactly, exactly. So bear with us because this week's Fact Checked comes from Matilda and she's asked, what was named orange first, the colour or the fruit? So we're going to get on the case. and we'll be back after what I can assume would be some some adverts or something you could probably just skip ahead through just press that sort of go ahead 10 seconds you can do that and if you overshoot just come back 10 seconds back you come or maybe you like to hear the adverts maybe you just want something in your head to drown out your own fucking thoughts

25:42This summer, wherever you go, take your favourite podcasts with you. I downloaded the Surgeon of St Helena series for the flight. Well, I bet you finished it. Yeah, before we landed. We put the Jack and Ash show on for the road trip and somehow we took the wrong exit because we were laughing. Worth it if you got to finish the episode. Well, I listen to the Holiday Expert show every week. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're always trying Chelsea's tips. They've saved me a fortune. wherever summer takes you hit follow on your favourite podcasts and search Audio Always on any podcast app to discover your next favourite listen

26:27I know I seem very he's just so he's so focused and chinked in he's Joe just like unbelievably relaxed he's a machine he's Joe yeah yeah yeah it's basically ai yeah imagine you like imagine if for some reason right they'd never want me as an ai it's some kind of like terminator yeah style sort of film yeah the ai was used off the back of your brain i think in a way it's very it's an interesting idea i suppose in a sense it's the um paranoid android i think it would destroy itself It'd kill itself, yeah. Oh, no. I'm back to that again. All right, so you're not allowed to talk about... I'm not...

27:08I just... You know, it's not going to stop happening just because I stopped talking about it. Hey, I feel like we're back into the swing of things, Joe. Yeah, we're back in. I feel like we're back in podcast mode. So, Matilda wanted to know what was named orange first, the colour or the fruit? And I assume... Well, I'm guessing it was the colour. Yeah. I assume the fruit didn't have, and again, this is what you touched on earlier, Joe. Yeah. And I don't want to get bogged down in this sort of thing. No, no, you're gone. I assumed it didn't have an English name, the fruit, whatever. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

27:45Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. Because of all my talk about language and things. So. No, but just, you know, us constantly apologising for colonising the world. Oh, this, yes. But I don't feel it's my responsibility, to be honest with you. I've colonised nothing. My fucking upbringing was awful. I was poor as fuck. Don't you worry about that. I think I was actually probably going to go the other way. For some reason, I think perhaps it's actually the fruit, because I think that - Surely the colour. The colour. But maybe there was, obviously the colour was there. Yeah. But that maybe there was another word that was used to mean orange before.

28:32Like, I don't know, like. How quickly can you look up when did, where do oranges come from? Is there anywhere in Europe where they grow? I guess the Mediterranean, I think like North Africa, Spain. because north africa historically is sort of europe well it's i suppose what you mean is did it did it fall into the kind of sphere of interest of the roman empire yeah yes yeah and and um and it's part of that mediterranean like morocco all the way world yeah i mean you know they they that i think as far as romanism is going that that was the world yeah sense the the the Mediterranean Sea. Well, that was it, man.

29:18And everything round about, you know, no, no America. The, the, um, the war against Carthage. Yeah. Those wars they had, they were literally, they were considered the first world wars. Cause it's, yeah. What did they call them? What was the wars called? The Punic Wars. Punic Wars. Thank you. Yeah. Punic. Punic comes from, oh, I had this. I would have sounded so intelligent right then, Joe. Punic. I don't know where it comes from. It's from another word that got garbled throughout history. Right. Because Punic has nothing to do with... Penetian, sorry. That's the word I'm looking for. As in Phoenician.

30:01Phoenician, which was pronounced Penetian. Penetian. Which then became Punic. Nice. Look at that. That's why you're fucking... That's some fucking podcast right there. That's good. And also, we didn't need to go on the internet to do it. No, that's all from our brains. You know, so it was all in there. You know, don't go on the internet. It's already in your head. Exactly. Most of it is. You don't need it. Also, all of that might have been wrong. There's always a chance of that. But look, we have to settle this because this, like we're kind of the, we're the arbiters in a sense. Absolutely, yeah.

30:35With this judgment that we hand down, this is going to set the truth. This is going forward. And what's, yeah. And what's difficult is at the moment we have a bit of a split within the Supreme Court. You know, Justice Thomas and Justice Buckley. Would there be a Supreme Court if Rome didn't win the Punic Wars? Well, there's another question. So, you know, it's important. And there's a split, obviously. Well, this is good. You're saying the fruit. I think probably what it actually came from, you know, you're saying the colour, I'm saying the fruit. I think probably it comes from a region. There was a place that had a name called like Aranja.

31:18There was a Spanish, it's like Aranja or something. Right, go on. Orange. So they were like, what are those things that have fallen off the trees in that place? And they just call them like Chelmsford's or something. This is classic fact up. This is classic fact up. Because what you've said there, I know that you've just made it up. Yeah, but. But you said the words like, there's a region. there'll be a region exactly made up a region that's what i do yeah yeah that's right yeah and i just go that's got to be true it's got to be true isn't it yeah that's how that's got to be true that's how people like me operate you've backed it up yeah back to it sounded plausible do you know i have so many discussions with my wife claire like that yeah where i say things exactly like that yeah yeah then i just go about the rest of my life yeah i never say to her by the way i just made all that yeah i in my own my brain i have a conversation with my brain yeah my brain goes say this and then i go to my brain yeah that sounds right brain i am and he goes there you go james enjoy that i had an early uh date with hannah where i we went around i don't know why but a herb garden of course classic first date it was like sort of adam and lady it was like adam and eve was like do you want to go and see the herbs was it a horse and carriage around the herb garden um of course joe you dog yeah i know some that night she wouldn't been able to resist i know i know you wanted yeah and i was like smell that smell that i know that you're nice isn't it you know you're getting involved with a tv a comedy tv star at the moment yeah the biggest comedies on tv right now yeah you're probably expecting to go to mayfair or something yeah shut your little face for a second i'm sorry baby i'm talking around a herb garden but i was telling her what all the herbs were and um after a few times she saw that there were little placards that told her what the herbs are and she was like you're getting them all wrong i didn't know what any of them were i was like that's uh you know it doesn't matter is it if you say something with a certain time yeah if a certain confidence yeah so yeah what was your point joe because i'm going with you now man because i think i think what it is is that it's a region and that it's named after i think things often end up getting named after like the place where they're from right like if something's from russia it's just called like the fruit of the russians only they're just called and that obviously that's i can't back that up because yeah yeah the russ you know that famous fruit that we've got and uh i think that it became so the fruit was like what are those things called they're called like seville's or whatever sure although they're called seville oranges so it doesn't work and but then that and then that No, that just feeds into it.

34:17That feeds into it even more. The Seville version of the orange. Yeah. Right. So we don't need to know whether we're right because we don't check, but that's what we're saying. Are you happy to write? Yeah, you don't have to. I've got information if you want it. I'm quite interested now to know. I'm interested in listening to some information. Yeah, let's hear. Because I'll be honest, I'd put my mortgage on JT right now. Bloody hell. I think he's absolutely correct. Don't. My manager's saying don't. that's why that's why she looks after me oranges first came in southeast china and northeast india okay and that's where they originated from right oranges were called oranges because the fruit came first right it was because of the origin origin language used to refer to them as naranjas or naranjee and then old French adopted like orangey yeah and then they sort of adapted to English which became orange absolutely yeah so so basically what Joe just said basically correct yeah so thank you Matilda for that that was that was did you it's like we're calling you Matilda I know Matilda who got in touch with us yeah that listen say what you like that was a fascinating conversation about fucking nonsense I enjoy I mean I think so in a sense it was was I right listen I think so I'll go with that Joe was right well there we go well we were both right because I flip-flopped didn't I you flip-flopped in the end you convinced me it was a unanimous decision yeah you were holding out but I was saying no so Joe and James hang him Joe and James didn't fact it up we didn't fact it up we didn't fact it up um oh I believe Joe it is my fact for you Hit me with it.

36:07First of all, though, I am just going to go to the loo. Okay. Push some urine at the end of my penis. Okay, all good. And I'll be right back. Perfect. Okay.

36:18Right, Joe. Yeah. I've just had a little piss. You've been for a wee. I've been. I've been for a wee. Yeah. And I just, I was just, I was just, I sat down, enjoyed myself. There's not a, there's, listen. I took it easy while I was doing it. I sometimes sit down. mate I don't why wouldn't you I I love sitting down I just fucking love sitting down from the age of 18 yeah I've been sitting down to wee unless I'm I mean I don't unless I'm in a pub or something like that where you don't want to really touch anything some of the stuff that I've walked into in a gents is fucking shameful mate what the fuck's going on I would I tell you what I've got a little theory there about piss on toilet seats yeah well all that it takes because I suppose maybe I'm I will clean up my own piss I feel a bit like I shouldn't have to clean up somebody else's piss but here's the problem it only takes one man to get his urine on the toilet seat and then that's it because the next guy comes in so the next guy's me I would clean up my own but I'm like well there's already some there it seems really weird to clean up my own and not clean up his but I don't really want to clean up his so now I just leave mine and now we're away and now it's the fucking end of the fucking world that's it society's falling down eventually that won't even be a toilet it'll just be a tank full of urine what we need to do is just start swimming around we need to just start cleaning up just clean up our own piss clean up your piss if you piss on the seat clean it up yeah for heaven's sake and there's toilet roll there you can scrunch it up into a ball you don't have to touch anything but this is the other thing I know that they're doing it because they're like they worry about hygiene but I'm like what about my hygiene I do believe it's my turn to have a fact yeah and I've got it on my phone here yeah now I went I did go route one.

38:03Yeah. And my fact's quite boring. And we're not going to get as much chat. Yours was really good, Joe. Thank you very much. Thank you. I was happy with that. So I do have, it's a fact about the pneumatic tube, which is the, what I was talking about last week. Yes. But I couldn't, I didn't know it was called the pneumatic tube. That's right. I should remember that you referred to it as a dildo, which, because you were um i don't want to tell you joe yeah i don't know that one it was just a hat that was just yeah but it's i think that these are fantastic contraptions thing is i could have said it looked like a penis made of plastic but we all know what that is yeah exactly an efficiency efficiency at all times yeah please nodding away there please can we live in a am i okay okay yeah see yeah exactly so um right so here's here's a little fact for you and and i don't think i don't think this is interesting i'm glad that your one was so interesting i think this is gonna save the episode i have a very unusual idea of what's interesting there's no discussion about this one okay it's just a fact okay well i just have to take it and yeah in the late you have to eat it in the late 19th and early 20th centuries yeah which people still need to get their head around late 19th yes so the 1800s the late 1800s and the early 1900s yes new york city had a pneumatic tube mail system that could shoot canisters between post offices at speeds of up to 35 miles per hour at its peak more than 95 000 letters a day zipped under the city through these tubes it was so efficient go on and this is where i think we've missed a trick yeah that some people thought pneumatic tubes might one day replace surface mail delivery entirely yeah and i feel like that's where we've had a schism yeah and are you talking about as they say a sliding doors moment yeah yeah where we could have gone one way but we went the other we went the other right but imagine in your house in the kitchen there's a little pneumatic tube i feel like i was living in the first harry potter book it'd be like or the jetsons or something like that i'd be like oh good morning so the postman doesn't turn up anymore the postman's the postman's at the depot sorting out all the posts and just and then maybe it goes to another place to then yeah oh it's on this street yeah and then someone sorts it into the into the numbers of the show imagine that Imagine that was our lives.

40:48We would be, honestly, I think if we would have carried on going down that road, we'd have all had hoverboards right now. You wish we had got rid of the entire postal system to replace it with a network of... I suppose the pneumatic tube system was like, we would have gone, we got the, what do they call it? The penny black or whatever it's called. We're fine. Yeah. Is that what it was called? You're a historian. Yes, it was. the first it was it was a penny's the first stamp it was the penny black yeah and uh it cost a penny i assume but i mean post was really that would have been well exposed was a poster now now now we see if it is this kind of like dusty old thing but actually like the victorian postal network was incredibly efficient and very very impressive you could get letters up two or three times a day and um they and i know an interesting another interesting fact about posts there's a book about jack the ripper that i go on like um and it's uh i'd recommend actually it's called uh They all love Jack.

41:45And it makes quite an audacious case for who this person thinks Jack the Ripper was. And quite convincingly. Someone in the royal family? Someone in the public eye, actually. Oh, okay. A kind of, well, I don't want to, I read it. It's very interesting. But one of the interesting things about just the insight into like the Victorian world. And one of the things that they had was Jack the Ripper kept sending all these letters to the Victorian police, taunting them. Yeah. And lots of people say these letters are forgeries. but this guy's this writer's opinion is they're not forgeries they're not forgeries and they come from all around the country and some of them come from america and he thinks that what happens is that you could send a letter on board a steamer to america and it would get posted as soon as the steamer so if you're on the titanic say yeah you could post a letter you're not going to get to america well you're not yeah your letter's not getting to america on the titanic but So you're on one of the other Titanic-style ships.

42:40There's a postbox there. There's a post office on the ship. So when you get to America, a little boat comes alongside. Before even the passengers have disembarked, the letters are off the ship. So this is when it docks in New York. They are then given an American postmark, like out of New York. Right. And if you post it to England, it goes straight back to England. Right. And this writer thinks that's how Jack the Ripper, this person, acquired these American postmarks for his letters. It was like a primitive version of a VPN. It was exactly right. It's exactly right. And he... But that would have taken...

43:20But he thinks that part of it... That would have taken a couple of months or something, surely. Well, no, because I actually think, because the fastest steamer was... Was it three weeks, maybe? Yeah, but there and back. yeah you're looking at a month and a half at least well yeah but there was but it did go on for this it went on for this thing at the time and these were not i think i'm right saying that these are not the letters that well actually i'm not i'm not actually sure but but imagine if we had if we'd had all the if we'd had a global network of these pipes yeah yeah yeah call it the internet no no yeah okay right so this is what yeah pre-internet right yes global like you'd have been able to have just thumped a thing to New York in like less than a day or something.

44:07And that's what, because she, like, do you remember? You know the first opium war, right? What are you laughing at, Katie? I think she's laughing at the fact that you were going to go with the phrase, do you remember the first opium? Yeah, I was about to say that. Well, I remember that. Well, we were filming the first series of the Inbetweeners and like we were in China and we were kept on saying, can you hold the traffic? The first time I knew more, there was this bloke captain something again captain something can't remember his name yeah you look up the the captain from captain yeah type in google captain something from the first yeah right yeah so he martin something he was he was constantly trying like yeah britain was like we're spending too much money on tea and we're not getting we're not getting anything out of it you need to tell those chinese people we need to start doing some fucking trade right because this is getting nuts Right.

44:56So then Britain started sort of illegally just selling opium. They got the Chinese addicted to opium so that they could sell it to them. So there was this go-between guy who was sort of representing the British at the time. The British Chief Superintendent of Trade in China, Charles Elliott. That's the guy. Charles Elliott. Very, very good to get that from Captain Something. Yeah. So Charles Elliott, right, he was sort of like the go-between. He was the man on the ground, right? Yeah. Yeah. And he's going, and even him, he's going, it's a bit out of order, isn't it? We're just sort of trying to force opium onto China.

45:30Like, yeah. So he, he, he decides to negotiate and he basically does get nothing that Britain wants. Yeah. But then he carries on working there for about six months and some bloke turns up and he's like, why, what are you still doing here? He was like, well, I'm trying to stop a war between Britain and China right now. because everything's really fucking heated. And I'm really trying my hardest not to make this turn into a war. And the bloke goes to him, well, you've been sacked for the last six months. And he's like, oh, right. He was like, well, here's the letter here. So he was just sat there waiting for a letter.

46:06He was doing all this work and stuff. Well, this is the thing is that, you know, you might not. I like what you're saying in as much as it's almost, it's making, it would have made them think about networks. underground and just it would have unhooked their thinking from the sense that everything just needs to be by like the pony express or the ways of travel that we're already familiar with uh and it might have i suppose they would be thinking outside the box is that what you're sort of saying also what i'm more concerned about what i touched on last week yeah was all was the company behind all the little, the big dildo things.

46:47Yeah, yeah. They would have, that come on. Well, I think we know what happened. Five shares in that company. Where did they go? It's what I'm saying. Well, they started making dildos last year. Oh, right. They just went full dildo. They were just like, well, what else can we do with these? Well, we know what people are using them for anyway. Well, exactly, yeah.

47:11Don't think if I didn't have a little. If I had a little tube If I had a little suction tube In my kitchen I wouldn't be You know Putting either my Cock or bottom Yeah Yeah Hear it Just be saying Just send a Just out of curiosity Just send another letter now Maybe that's why Maybe that's why I didn't take off Anyway You could have kept Breaking one day I suppose What have you learnt this week? Because I cannot remember What we've just spoken about I'll tell you what we've learnt I've instantly forgotten about it We've learned that oranges originally came from northeast. No, it was from China and Asia.

47:50And then that word was then kind of bastardized by European tongues and became orange. I told you about the announcement on the tube and we are going to try and bring that back across the tube. I'd like to make that a thing. Yeah, yeah. It's Oswald Lawrence. Oswald? Oswald Lawrence. His name is Oswald Lawrence. Yeah. And he says, mind the gap. Right. Let's get Oswald back in our tube stations. And at the moment he's only available to here at Embankment, but it'd be nice to get him throughout. And then we also learnt that in New York, they used to have a system of pneumatic tubes that deliver the mail.

48:33That's right. I forgot about that. Yeah, that was your fact. And, well, you've passed it on. You don't need to retain it anymore. Well, that's it. Yeah, it's in the cloud now. Yeah. Stop there. I'm the cloud. Yeah. And if I need to remember that fact, I'll just, I'll do what I did the first time around. Ask AI, is it? Yeah. Yeah. We do hope that you've learned something or at least had a nice time. Doesn't necessarily need to be both, of course. But we will be back next week armed with facts, chats, and underground maps. Oh, okay. Okay. So you've started something now. Very good. This is only going to get more and more difficult.

49:09You didn't even know I was doing this. Did you come up with that during the episode? There you go. Well, that's it. So you've, you fucked yourself. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us. We're now going to try and get stuff that you can't get.

49:26Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like to, if you'd like us to fact check something that you feel is true and that you need some kind of stamp of authority. And you can do that by emailing us. hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07-822-034-330. And our socials are joeandjamespod, at joeandjamespod, which you can, I assume you can DM us and stuff in there. Also, you can head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details, which I'll be doing shortly. Anyway, thank you so much for listening. Thank you, James. are you not still to me no

50:12that's alright that was so earnest oh that's alright no I'm listening I'm talking to the listening I'm getting listening listening to the talkers I'm talking to the the handful of people that have listened to this yeah and thanking them because we do appreciate it yeah and we'll be back next week with the fuck knows what like god knows what we genuinely don't know because we haven't planned it have we absolutely bonkers goodbye bye oh yeah oh yeah clap clap

50:44Joe and James Facts Up

50:49this summer wherever you go take your favourite podcasts with you I downloaded the Surgeon of St Helena series for the flight well I bet you finished it yeah before we landed we put the Jack and Ash show on for the road trip and somehow we took the wrong exit because we were laughing Worth it if you got to finish the episode. Well, I listen to the Holiday Expert Show every week. Oh my gosh, yeah, you're always trying Chelsea's tips. They've saved me a fortune. Wherever summer takes you, hit follow on your favourite podcasts and search Audio Always on any podcast app to discover your next favourite listen.