The Worst War Horse Audition Ever

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0:29The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show we recommend. Hi, I'm Ronnie. And I'm Ben. Our podcast is Watch What Crappens.

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1:42Podcast time. All right, here we go. JT, how are you today? I'm good. I say, how are you today? We've just recorded. No, don't. I did. I bought another t-shirt. I forgot to change it. Do you know what? So we did that. Yeah. We did that the first, because we record a couple of episodes a day, right? Yeah. And I was like, we were both like, oh, we've brought like a change of clothes or something, if that helps. I mean, not that it fucking matters at all, really. And the production team were like, no, it doesn't matter. Anyway, first comment on like one of our episodes on Spotify was some bloke going, wearing the same clothes two weeks in a row.

2:22that's a bit gross so we got away with it I told you they'd love to comment about it no but you were like no one cares no one will notice it's fine people do don't they well but you've talked about it which is also why they'll be commenting about it right yeah in a way we encouraged it if we're trying to keep it under the radar we should stop bringing it up I suppose just I don't know I mean I'm I'm not in PR but I don't I feel like I'm tapping my finger against my nose but also So, like, we... Where did that come from? That's a good fact. We'll get to that. We'll get to that. We'll get to that in time.

2:58Not next week, but maybe the week after. Maybe the week after, yeah. Where did that gesture, the tapping, you know, keep it to yourself, tapping your finger to your nose? Yeah, yeah. Do you reckon it's war? Joe and James. Joe and James. No, Joe and James. Joe and James. Facts up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James. Joe and James, facts up. Welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Hi. This is the podcast where each week we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting. Yeah. I'm worried that what I find interesting isn't what the rest of the world finds interesting. Well, I find it interesting and that's all that counts.

3:41Thank you, Joe. Our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is. That's it. That's the rule. We'll unpack it, we'll debate it, and then we'll probably wander off into something completely unrelated. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research in a segment that we're calling Fact Check. Got to stop down in beer just before I do stuff. Yeah, I've said I can do the first bit if you want. Go on, you take it away. Okay. Can I drink more beer? You can have some more beer and I'm going to take over. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research in a segment we're calling Fact Check.

4:17so we want you to send in your facts for us email us uh at hello at email see see email us using the following address as our address hello at joe and james pod.com right i will say this right in your defense then and mine as well because i always read that bit at at's confusing because it's two at's email us at hello at email us on I just say email us email us that is what we have that's in the script that's what we have yeah no it's true actually yeah no it does yeah you be careful you'll be finished in this business come on I know I'm joking and stuff but you know like obviously like the last sort of 10 years or so there has been like lots of like people going do you know what like blokes in powers of position yeah let's call them out let's start calling them out for being dickheads right yeah and i'm i'm up for it like i'm well yeah sure yeah so if you like if you're a dickhead you're a dickhead yeah but then i also think i've never been in a position of power so you feel that you shouldn't be called out because you haven't done the power bit i don't have the power bit yeah like i made a joke then to lily may but i genuinely don't have any power No.

5:40I've got no – No. I've never been in charge of anything. No. And long may that continue. I never want to be in charge of anything. Imagine me in charge of – imagine me calling shots. Yeah. Imagine me if I had the power to sort of fire people or something like that. Yeah. What would I do with it? Yeah. I wouldn't use it willy-nilly. I'd do the opposite. We'd probably end up – no offence, Lily May, with some idiot working for us. and I'd be too I'd be like oh no I'd be awkward wouldn't it I couldn't fire anyone how awkward would that be firing someone are you fucking joking I had a thousand lifetimes before I was ready to fire someone firing someone anyway what are we talking about our email is at joeandjames.pod.com no it's not no it's not it's hello I wish I could fire someone

6:30fair enough fair enough do you want to go back to you no I'll do it okay can you do it please I'm gonna do it email us hello at joeandjamespod.com whatsapp us on 07822 034 330 follow us on socials at joeandjamespod and you can watch all our full episodes on YouTube search for joeandjamesfactup and head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details now let's get fact up How are you, Joe? I am very well. Thank you very much. And I was remembering something I wanted to mention last week and didn't get the chance to. But do you, again, I don't know whether you're comfortable with this.

7:20Do you remember when we auditioned for War Horse together in that hotel room? That was unbelievable. Look at that. That was unbelievable. Well, Joe, that was incredible. I've not thought. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wasn't that extraordinary? Yeah. Yeah. No, because now I know why you've said I don't know whether you're comfortable with me talking about. Because I did something really embarrassing. We did a fucking terrible job. Like, it was... Oh, no, the pair of us. Yeah, yeah. So we were making... When was this? We were making the TV show. We were making the second series of The Inbetweeners. The second series of The Inbetweeners.

7:54So during making The Inbetweeners, me and Joe, we were making the show during the day, and then all four of us would usually be in a hotel or something like that in the evening. so we were always with each other yeah work eating together and then also um me and joe had both got an email from our agents our different agents saying there's this audition that's come through it's for warhorse the film yeah um could and we were like oh god yeah i've just got that as well yeah we'll we'll we'll we had to film and this was before you had your phone and you could just fucking film saying on the phone.

8:32Yeah. Yeah. Did we ask production for a camera? We must have got a camera from production or something. But what, so what I remember is we, first of all, we went. Oh no, this is embarrassing. I remember that first of all, we went like, we went to the bar and we had like. Yeah, you gotta have a couple of drinks. We had a couple of drinks. We had a few drinks. Oh God, it was so bad. So we went in, I was like, oh, bloody hell. And in my mind, I was like, this is so bad, but like, I didn't think it was that good a project. I thought it was like a horse. It was boring, man. I was always like, oh, come on.

9:15I know about the play and stuff. It reminds me, honestly, because I was like, it's based on a children's book. Like, give me a break. By the way, it was Steven Spielberg. It was just like. It was a Spielberg film. I mean, I've been nowhere near anything like that since then. So I should have taken it more seriously. So we were a bit drunk. So we were drunk. I completely forgot about this. And what we did was we, I can't remember who went first. I think you, what's funny, I still wasn't even really completely au fait with the idea of self-taping. So I remember I - That was odd, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

9:59That was a bit odd. So I remember I did it and I was like, oh, I wasn't that happy with that. Oh, nevermind. Well, it's gone now. That's it. You went, do you want to do it again? And I went, no, I'll leave it. I was like, I just wanted, because I only see in my head, I was like, well, that's honest. I mean, that's what I'm like. like what point doing it again a weird attitude a weird attitude for self taping we've already established that the first thing you do is always your best yeah exactly in a way I was right whether it's theme songs it will always be the best I dare say if I had done 200 takes it would not be the case that I would have gone on to be in War Horse and then I remember you auditioning do you remember what I did I do yeah right listen in my defence you made you made a trench you said I'll be in a trench and the side you were crouched down on the floor of the hotel room and you were like at the end of my audition I'm going to go over the top and you said you crawled onto the bed but what was funny is you wanted to leave shot but I kept following you with the camera and you were like well don't follow me because now I haven't got any lines left and now you're just filming me crawling across a bed.

11:15I thought it'd be a really good idea if I was set up against the bottom of the bed. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And I was like, and then at the end, I'm going to crawl over the bed as if I'm going over the top. Oh God. Also, like, I'm not sure it said in the script, like, go over the top. You were just like, Listen man, I was so drunk. Because we were World War I, we're like, in World War I, every conversation ended with them going, let's go over the top. alright there's the whistle anyway see you later over the top like and over the top we go like every every 12 minutes over the top anyway I do remember that that was that was no I just remembered it because we were talking about the dominoes thing where we got the dominoes and that used to be a bit of a tradition it was the bloody hell there was always football on whenever we whenever we were making the in-betweeners it was always like Champions League or something like that and we'd all decide to meet in one of our rooms and we'd all order a pizza and just sit on a bed like cross-legged and eat pizza together.

12:18It was great. But I do remember Blake used to get annoyed whenever I'd have dominoes because, well, you all would. I don't know why I've just singled out Blake. But Blake was the most vocal about it. It did sort of play Havoc with me belly. Oh, oh God. I mean, the set sometimes was just like, because to be fair, I feel like you were the worst I mean but like there were times all through the day the next day it'd be like and like you couldn't really come on like crew would come onto the set and be like when we were in the yeah we know yeah we know it's impossible when we were in the common room which was a great big massive room and there was people at the other side of the room going Jesus yeah people like the pool table yeah back of shot yeah they were getting it but Blake used to go like oh no you haven't had the dominoes have you oh i remember blake used to say that yeah i did i did get a dominoes

13:20oh god and then obviously in the car i used to the car in the car i don't know the car but i do think that that those little things do end up being in the show sometimes because i think that's where that because there's a scene with us and hannah in the car oh yeah and blake neil is farting yeah he's going oh sorry there's the hash brown yeah sorry it's the mcdonald's breakfast yeah this one yeah and i think that's where that stuff yeah i think yeah i think stuff found its way there's a very thin membrane between things that were just said and the script of the in between us um but yeah no i i um anyway i just thought you'd enjoy that after our bond audition so we've got a we've got a track record yeah man so like I've never a question that gets posed to me quite a lot go on is like why like the in-betweeners was really good and stuff like I thought you would have done more off the back of that yeah and I just maybe I might start I might find that audition I did for the Steven Spielberg film War Horse just have it on you and just go this is why this is why I never okay alright why not we shouldn't have had a few drinks before we did that it was pretty I mean it was amazing how like casually in my mind I think listen I know you and you know me yeah we got an audition for a Spielberg film yeah there was no way the pair of us were going to take that seriously no of course not we're not going to be the Spielberg I mean it's why would I'm not going to yeah what the world's got There's something wrong with the world if me and Joe turn up in a Spielberg film.

15:00Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. No, I agree. They'd have to have just run out of... Yeah, if they've run out of actors. It had to have been some weird incident where Theo James and James Norton were all on the same aeroplane. Who else would be on there? I don't know. The other Theo. what's his name the Theo Barkham Theo Barkham Biggs yeah but he's more comedy as well isn't he yeah but even he's just fucking he'd be in the army though wouldn't he I don't think we just don't look like we're in the army if we're in the army you're just that's a disaster we had another Theo in any sense by the way just we had he played Richard he played Richard in the Inbetweeners film yeah that's right who was a guy that came up to us and he was just like oh I've just turned up can I use your shower yeah Which, by the way, was the actual thing that happened to my mates.

15:56And I told that to Ian and Damien. They were like, my mates went to Ibiza. Some bloke came up to them and was just like, just fucking jumped on a plane two hours ago. Now I'm here. Fucking mental, isn't it? Anyway, do you reckon I could stay with you? And they were obviously like, no, no, go away. Yeah. No, that is, yeah, that is true, isn't it? Yeah. No accommodation. But he's going to, he'll be in a Spielberg film. no problem yeah yeah we're not we're not spill back material are we i don't think we are

16:36the more you listen to your kids the closer you'll be so we asked kids what do you want your parents to hear i feel sometimes that i'm not listened to i would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at soundedouttogether.org. That's soundedouttogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Jo and James, Facts Up! It is time for a fact. we should mention that it's the night before bonfire night yeah when is that day I always forget er I nearly got you I wish you were about to say the rhyme yes yeah well it's bonfire night eve yes and it's bonfire night tomorrow so we we're going to do facts about um what bonfire night Guy Fawkes what was that called the parliament Guy Fawkes and some other conspirators some rabble rabble rousers well some people that some people that just should stay in their lane yeah as far as I'm concerned yeah they tried to blow up the houses of parliament silly boys is what I'd call them a few silly boys went out and you know they had a few beers and they thought well I'm glad you touched on that oh okay right okay you've brought me nicely onto my fact so in May 1604 Robert Catesby the plot's ringleader who I didn't I don't know his name do you know what I know like the other names more than Robert Catesby met with Guy Fawkes Thomas Wintour Thomas Percy that's one I was remember for some reason John Wright and Christopher Wright at the Duck and Drake Inn who was in a private room where they swore an oath of secrecy and began to plan the now infamous gunpowder plot their attempt to blow up the houses of parliament, just blow it up.

18:46Yeah.

18:50It's quite a simple plot, isn't it? I feel like there's, listen, right? I feel like there's some middle ground there. Yes. If you're like, do you know what, right? I'm not happy with government. Yeah. Blow it up. Yeah. I still think there's like still a couple of steps you can go before. Maybe they felt not, maybe they felt they couldn't. They didn't try and take power democratically. However, so the Duck and Drake itself, which I believe was on the Strand. I read it. I didn't write it down. I think it was on the Strand in London. It no longer exists, but is remembered in history as the place where one of England's most famous conspiracies was hatched.

19:29And I just wanted to do a little fact about beer. Oh, okay. Lovely. Because beer is so culturally important. important. I totally agree. And public houses and things like that, they've sort of shaped civilisation. Absolutely. But I just wanted to quickly talk to you about the history of beer. Please do. Beer is one of the oldest prepared beverages in human history, dating back over 5 ,000 years, probably longer. Probably longer. Okay. The earliest known recipe for beer was found on a Sumerian clay tablet from around 3900 BC, written in cuneiform. Yeah. Is that those little etches? I think it's the etches, yeah.

20:20So marks on a tablet. It's actually a hymn to Ninkazi, the Sumerian goddess of brewing. So that is how important beer was to civilization. they would have a song, a hymn that basically listed the ingredients of beer that you would sing to the goddess of beer, basically. The Sumerians made their beer from barley bread, which they fermented in water, and it was often drunk through straws to avoid the floating grain residue. And that's another thing as well. So what we would say, what we would call a beer today is almost completely different to what it was thousands of years ago. It was very thick.

21:07Yes, yes. And it was almost classed as almost like a type of bread. So if monks would fast, for example, and stuff like that, they could still drink beer and they would class that as almost like a meal, like sort of hule. Yes, yes. Like a sort of medieval hule. It was sort of Huel, wasn't it? Yes, that's right, yes. And probably quite low alcohol as well, I imagine. Because it was just kind of – because I know, for example, also the English army marched on beer. Yeah, well, you had your IPA, didn't you? Yeah. Which lasted longer and would last all the way to India. So you would go with the East India Company and it wouldn't go off or anything like that.

21:52But also in the days where we didn't have, I'm going to say filtration. No, totally, yeah. I don't know what I'm talking about. But clean water. Completely. I had a friend at university who said that you could, it's probably not true, but he said you could trace all the differences between like Eastern civilization and Western civilization to the fact that one group of people sterilized their water by boiling it and another group of people sterilized their water by fermenting it. Yeah, alcohol kills the bacteria and stuff. Yeah. Which also, another personal favourite character in history of mine is a guy called John Snow, who I think I've already spoken about.

22:33He was very much involved in the cholera epidemic. Yeah. And he, but during those times, which is obviously much more recent, we're going back maybe 200 years now, beer was still so important because water was just so dirty and stuff like that. People would drink beer instead of water. that would be their their liquid um but like you say it wouldn't be like it's not some stellar unfiltered five percent yeah it would be not export strength it would be yeah like a shandy sort of strength of alcohol but it would be enough but you wouldn't get pissed you could still you know ride a horse or whatever um but it would but it would uh it would take all that away now haven't they?

23:15I know, yeah. They would kill the bacteria. So yeah, I just wanted to give you a few facts about beer. Well, I think that's... Do you like that? How I went from Guy Fawkes to Guy Fawkes and I managed to go to beer. And I like the idea of this private room that they had as well. Posh. Little back room. Yeah, posh-o's. Yeah. Little back room. And that's where they... Hatched it. That's where they hatched the plan. That's where they hatched it. The plot. It's a shame that it's not there anymore i think our sense that we need to kind of look after old buildings is quite recent i think i think sort of until fairly recently it was like we'll just get rid of it yeah um and i think even as like it's like the 1960s like i think there was a sense of like well it's old like fusty old like i don't know i've said this before but like my my granddad was an architect and he worked for courage the brewers right and so he used to design pubs and i always thought it was quite a romantic idea the idea of him sort of designing these the interiors of these pubs my dad said what he was actually doing because it was like the 1960s he was basically going around taking out all this lovely old like victorian panelling right and putting in like formica like asbestos yeah but in a way i think i speaks to the fact that i do think the 60s was a more optimistic time they were like well we're moving on we've got better stuff it's better like whereas So now we're very nostalgic because we're like, well, the future is going to be fucking terrible.

24:44So let's try and hold on to as much old wood as we can. And I think that's basically right. I don't want to go down that road, but that's the famous sort of thing about the end of civilisation. Let's not go down there. But another thing they did, another thing about lack of nostalgia, my dad told me almost in a kind of like shame-faced way that like in the 60s they'd have parties where they'd smash up pianos. They'd get an old Victorian piano and they'd smash it. And it's like, I'm sorry, I may have said this before, but like, and now it's like god that's just such vandalism but part of it is like well we're moving on we've got better so we don't need all this old shit well that's it because like you'd have like a you'd have like a 1960s film wouldn't you and it'd be like about people colonising Mars or something like that and it'd be set in 1997 yeah no we haven't and they'd just be like well that's what we're going to be we're going to be in Mars in a second yeah I know I know we've um yeah some of it's happened and some of it hasn't and um yeah but it was just it was just a time of optimism wasn't it It was a time of optimism.

25:39Whereas now we're a time of, oh God, wasn't it better? Even when we were growing up, even the 90s. Still quite optimistic. It was like, oh God, I'd like it to be the 90s. My kids say to me things like, God, I bet it was great being around, which does make me feel really fucking old. Oh God, I know. My kids are like. What was it like? What was it like? I bet it was so much fun. Yeah. Euro 96 and all that. Yeah. Yeah. I know. To sum up, my fact is that beer is the oldest prepared, one of the oldest prepared beverages in human history. We know it's over 5 ,000 years, but without sort of empirical evidence or whatever.

26:20Like we can assume it went on for a lot longer. Right, let's move on to fact check. You send in something that feels like a fact that you'd like us to either confirm or poo-poo. So we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're going to have a good old think during the break and come back to let you know how true it feels to us. Joe, have you got the fact? Okay, so this week's fact check comes from Paddy. Paddy Carr. It's Paddy Carr. Is it Paddy Carr? Our friend Paddy Carr. It's our friend Paddy Carr. He said, the average glass of water that you drink out of the tap has already passed through about seven people before you.

27:02right I'm ready to let's take a little break because I'm ready to jump on this straight away we'll be back after these messages

27:16the more you listen to your kids the closer you'll be so we asked kids what do you want your parents to hear I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org That's SoundItOutTogether.org Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions! I have sold my chariot on Carvana. It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer.

28:04They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up these mail. Bye.

28:19Joey James, Factor. We are back. Paddy. wanted to know whether this following statement is true and we all decide whether it's true together the average glass of water that you drink out of the tap has already passed through about seven people before you right I'm gonna go true at least well I'm gonna go if not more yeah I was gonna say why is it seven now when I was a child I just gotta stop drinking gotta stop drinking I'm just getting a problem When I was a child, the fact that I was told was that there is just as much water on the Earth as there is now, as there was back in the dinosaurs. The amount of water on planet Earth has been constant, right?

29:14Liquid water, right? Or just in ice or whatever. and that the water that we drink now has probably passed through dinosaurs yeah of course you say yeah so i don't know what so there's seven people i don't understand this seems like a very small number it would surely be billions yeah why yes i agree i don't know seven seems like extremely low yeah would yeah so i mean i'm yeah i i'm i'm with you that it's the same water i believe it's the same water what do you think about my statement that we're because that was the joke when i was at school was like oh you're drinking dinosaur wee oh yeah okay well i suppose it's in a sense it's true i mean i suppose it's like if you know but that's it and and if you eat if you eat vegetables you're you know eating you might say oh you're eating animal shit because it's been fertilized so i mean i guess it's you know now now we're getting on to uh this is philosophy really well exactly and and with you and me and we're always very close to yeah philosophy and The film that I pretty much take all my philosophical thoughts from is a little film called The Lion King.

30:21Yeah, yeah, yeah. That speech at the beginning of the film. Yeah, yeah. The antelope eat the grass. Yeah. We eat the antelope. Yeah, yeah. Then we die and our bodies become the grass. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Thus the circle of life. Absolutely. And then I think Rafiki also said some stuff as well at some point. Whereas this is more like a sort of septagon of life. Yes. Because it's just got seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's only seven people involved in this, apparently. Yeah, it goes through seven people. You go seven and then – So what are we going to do? Are we going to say that Paddy's correct or are we going to go, do you know what, Paddy, you're not correct.

30:59It's even more people. I think we're going to say thank you, first of all. Of course. but we do think it's higher yeah a lot higher let me just build on your fact then Paddy not only has it passed through seven people the water that you drink you're actually drinking dinosaur wee you're drinking dinosaur wee as well Paddy you're drinking dinosaur wee gross you've probably got zits as well oh yucko no So I'm not going to say it's not a fact, but I'm going to say it's even more fact. Yeah, it's even more of a fact. Because sometimes things can be a little fact, can't they? Sometimes things can be a little fact and then they grow out and then you're like, hello.

31:53So on the fact spectrum, I'm going to say that it's 200 % fact. Yeah, yeah. and it does feel like it's got a little bit cross pollinated along the way with the seven degrees of separation fact I think that's maybe where it feels haunted by that fact you can get to anyone in the world yeah for example Nick Cage Nick Cage who's going to be coming on the podcast as soon as have we got Nick Cage yeah we're texting yeah yeah okay so is he confirmed yet or are we still waiting to hear about it he said he wants to listen to this episode to decide whether he wants to associate with this fine okay Hey, well, no problem.

32:29That's a yes then. So when did we start saying Nick Cage? Well, I say Nick Cage now, but it was always Nicholas Cage. I say, is it like St. Nick and St. Nicholas? No, it's not. It's like David Ginola. Yeah. When he first turned up, he was David Ginola. David Ginola, yeah. And then that got... Yeah, yeah. and then Britain sort of went oh hang on a minute we better start saying David Ginola yeah well I don't I mean is that going to make it this is Anthony all over again isn't it oh okay right

33:11look we've done the fact check and our answer is it's not true enough it's true it's even more fact It's even more fact. It's a kind of... Than what Paddy has said. Yeah, yeah. It's so fact that it's gone past. It's a bit like saying there's about seven people living on the planet. Yeah. And we're saying... No, no, no. You need to... There is a bit more. Add a few zeros and then we can talk. So that, for the first time in Fact Up history, we're going to class that as so fact. So fact. So fact it hurts. Feels like it needs a jingle. Well, that's... you've said that now I can imagine what the comments are going to be they've already bullied Joe into changing his shoes now they're going to start on you to make another jingle no thank you very much for that Paddy for that effect do you want the information that I found are you happy with where you're at we didn't go to Lily May last week no we didn't but maybe should we do it this week well I think we would because I would I'm quite I'm a bit more confident I already know I already know that that Paddy is so right so right so right it's wrong he's almost being a little bit modest with the fact it's like come on go on Lily mate let's hear what you've managed to find so you guys are correct which is good it's so fact so basically seven to ten is usually what is spouted as the general form of like how many people it's gone through but it seems to be a number that's been plucked out just to show that it's recyclable yes so basically you know any water you excrete in any way and any water you use does get recycled into other weather or the water streams and eventually we'll all end up basically infiltration so okay you guys are correct and it is it will be more than seven so fantastic it was great we got it we got it we were we were right and i don't think we need to repeat that like that just proves that we're always right.

35:21We checked once, we were right. That's it. And that's that. So we can draw a line under that. We won't be going to you again, Lily May, for the rest of the series. So we're going to carry on. And it's time for my fact. And are you ready to get really fact up with what I've got for you today, James? I am indeed. Okay. So my fact for you is that after, let's say in light of the attempt to blow up the House of Parliament the gunpowder plot Parliament is still checked once a year for conspirators by the Yeoman of the Guard and they go down there I'll tell you something right if you're not watching these podcasts the look that Joe gave me when he said Yeoman of the Guard the yeoman of the guard yeah yeah it was a bit of a fruity look yeah uh because when i think of a yeoman of the guard i'm imagining a really a pretty fine looking fellow i mean i i i he's i think he's got plumes yeah i think he's got the big yeah yeah sort of like um the the white rabbit in alice in wonderland yes what's that thing it's sort of like a i can only describe it as a cloth sandwich board.

36:47Yeah, I think, yes, that's right. It's a sort of apron. It's a ceremonial apron, I suppose. Like a weird sort of poncho that doesn't go over the arms. Yeah, yeah. Do they wear that sort of thing? Yeah, it is that kind of thing. They look like a playing card, basically.

37:06Or like the Swiss Guard in the Vatican. So these Yeomen of the Guard. So what I love is that they go down, they have a look around with lanterns and just because obviously it was a parliament nearly got blown up so obviously that can't happen again so to make sure it won't they check once a year once a year once a year so that's good so i mean it's like airports uh will screen your baggage once a year just to check yeah and uh obviously you know it's it's it's purely ceremonial now what do they do it on bonfire no they do it no they don't they do it before the state opening of parliament them.

37:42So I guess maybe because that's when the most people are going to be there. Also, they're not dressed like Jeremy Renner in the Hurt Locker with those big sort of blast suits. They're dressed as yeoman. So what are they going to do? My question is, what will they do if they do find a bomb? They'll say, excuse me. And unless it is kegs of powder. Yeah. And I like the idea of the lanterns as well. They're like, oh, hello. If they forget the lanterns, they're like, oh, we forgot the lanterns. That's good. Shall we use the torch on my phone? No, lanterns or nothing. I like that, Joe. That's a good fact.

38:22Thank you very much. Ah, it's a good time to be alive. It's a good time to be alive. Bygone era. Should we call it a day there, Joe? Yep. That was a really good fact. Thank you. What have we learned today? We've learned that beer is millennia. old yep and we also learnt that the what are they called the yeoman of the guard the yeoman of the guard once a year just go around parliament just check no one's trying to blow it up and that's good facts we hope you've learned something or had a nice time doesn't necessarily need to have been both no we'll be back next week armed with more facts chats and Guy Fawkes blasts see that only works in your accent it's alright blasts blasts it doesn't work in our right accent.

39:09Okay, we'll be back next week. Facts, Jacks and Guy Fawkes Blasts. With more Facts charts and Guy Fawkes Blasts for Joe and James Farked Up. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us. You can get in touch with us if you'd like to fact check something that feels true for you or if you just want to get a message to us and think that it might be just start a conversation between me and Joe. Our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com Our WhatsApp number is 07822034330. Leave us your voice notes. And you can also follow us on social media at JoeAndJamesPod and you can watch all episodes, full episodes on YouTube.

39:48Just search for JoeAndJamesFactUp and if I said that too quickly or what I said didn't make sense, it's all in the description. Anyway, that's it. That's a podcast episode. We've done it. Bye! Bye! Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Go on the Chiefs. JoeAndJamesFactUp.

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