Was Pluto Cancelled?

0:00Hi, my name's Alistair Green. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make, it's called Don't Think So Somehow, and all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. this might just be a podcast for you don't think so somehow every time I get a message saying I'm loving the new podcast I'm like why why like oh dear hey listen Joe I'm wearing my I forgot to mention to you I'm wearing my sort of they look like grown up trousers but they're secretly oh these ones with the elasticated they're secretly jogging bottoms right yeah they look like chinos yeah they look like chinos what I love about them is they look like grown-up trousers yeah they're elastic oh yeah yeah they've even got um is that like a fake fly or something oh drawstring they've got drawstring on them right and something that's genuinely annoying me yeah yeah is my back pocket right it's velcro they've got velcro on them as well so they are yeah they're from one of my pockets i've got a little zip section just just so i don't lose my keys or whatever.

1:26It's like a man that has just come to terms with the fact that he's a baby. Have you got one of those tags so that Claire can tell where you are on her phone? I've just got my phone. If you get lost. Claire's got, Claire can. She can do it anyway. She can see where I am. Right, sure. She knows, yeah. That's good. She has to do that, not to try and find out where I am, because nine times out of ten I am just with her. I'll be right next to her and I'll go to her, can you find my phone for me? Okay. I'm just constantly saying that. I had it in my hand a second ago. I don't know where it's got. You're going to have to make it make a sound.

2:00Can you make it make a sound? Okay. So she's kind of in charge of your phone. She's got two phones. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean, look, that's, yeah, I have some trousers like that as well. And they actually are great. I love elasticated waist. It's the future. It's the future, especially after Christmas. Oh, goodness me. Yes. What a feast. Oh, I've eaten so much. My goodness. Put some food away, did I? Yeah. Anyway, should we start this podcast? We might as well. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James. Fact up again. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James. Joe and James.

2:38Fact up. Welcome to Joe and James Fact Up. Happy New Year. Each week we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it must be. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to do the research in a segment we're calling Fact Check. So we want you to send in your facts to us by emailing us, hello at joeandjamespod.com, Whatsapping us, 07822034330. And you can also message us on our socials. Just look for at joeandjamespod. And don't forget that you can watch these episodes. If you're listening, you can watch these.

3:19I'm not sure if it adds anything to it, to be honest with you. but you can see full episodes on YouTube. Just search for Joe and James Factor. I don't know why people want to watch them, if I'm honest. It's just a lot. It makes more sense to listen to us in the car. Because if you're somewhere where you can watch something. Watch something else. You could put Blackadder on or something like that. Watch something else. Why are you watching this? Yeah. Put Partridge on or something. There's so much. So much good stuff. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details. Now, let's get FAC'd Up!

3:54Bloody hell, it's 2026 already. I can't believe it, Joe. I can't believe it. We're over a quarter of the way through this century. Don't say that, but I know. And I remember it when it just started. I know. I'm still treating it like we've really only just begun. Yeah. And I don't really know what we're supposed to be doing in this century, if I'm honest. I don't know what this century is for. No. What actually is it for? What are we supposed to be doing? Well, I'll talk to you a little bit about that later, Joe, because obviously we bring each other a fact. Yes, we do. And I'm going to be talking about 2026, do you?

4:25Do a little bit of research. What's going on in 2026? What's going to be happening? Yeah. Okay. And it's not like Mayan calendar shit. You're not getting all Nostradamus? No, no. It's hopefully going to be positive. Okay. But apart from that, any New Year's resolutions? Any New Year's resolutions? No. No. You were talking about doing Lent the other week. Yeah, but I don't think... You can do that. I was thinking about doing a New Year's resolution, but I just find them impossible to stick to. Like this year, I was going to try and not be such a fucking legend. Well, that won't work. Exactly, mate.

5:08Exactly. We've got a message here. It's from Anonymous, which is exciting. Hopefully, this is sort of embarrassing or something. They got in touch with us through the medium called WhatsApp. And they say, James is... Oh, no. Oh, dear. I don't like the start of this. I'll be honest with you. James inspired me to masturbate with lotion for the first time, and it didn't go to plan. What could possibly go wrong? I was about 14, 15, watching the newest episode of The Inbetweeners, and Jay was wanking with lotion. There we go. I thought I'd... Yeah, but he said Jay was wanking with lotion, but James inspired me.

5:55Yeah. So it is you. Absolutely. Well, I am a fucking legend. Yeah. Jay was wanking with lotion, and I thought, hmm, I've never actually tried that. I usually just raw dog it. So after the show... Straight after the show. After the show... He finished the show. He just paused it. I went up to the family bathroom, looked under the sink for a lotion, grabbed what I thought was lotion and began to yank away. All was well until the smell of this lotion smelled familiar. It kind of reminded me of my sister for some reason. Fucking hell. Which I imagine really got... Yeah. Really helped him out. That helped.

6:34At which point I stopped doing stuff. Oh, that's weird. Looked at the bottle. Stopped doing stuff. Looked at the bottle. I stopped doing stuff. And it was actually a gradual fake tan that I was slavering away on my genitals. Slavering's not the right word. Slavering specifically comes from the mouth, isn't it? He's used slavering and we know... I would have said lathering. That isn't the main problem that this guy faces at this moment. Anyway, he says, anyway, I had an orange dick and hand for a week. It looked like a what's it. Thanks, James. That is terrible. Well, that's like something that like Catholics would do to stop you wanking.

7:16Like that you like because it's like the, you know, you literally caught red or orange handy. It's like that. It's like. Yeah. They'd put like that die that they put in notes in banks. Yeah. It is that. They put that like. Yeah. What do you reckon? Like in between your cock and balls. A die pack. Yeah. Yeah. So if you go, if you do go and touch it. That's right. Yeah. The priest will know. That's right, yeah. I think that's right, yeah. He usually goes, I was going to do that. Yeah, and you say, I'm very sorry. Sorry. He says, how sorry? And you say, well, what do you mean? He says, well, grab this.

8:00Anyway, sorry, Anon, I'd like your name. I'd like to. Well, he sees your name twice. He said, and I love that in the middle it's J, but by either end it's very much James. I love how I'm getting blamed for this as well. Yeah, yeah. Well, um... Orange dick, nothing wrong with that. You know, it was only yesterday that I was saying of the Inbetweeners. I think the thing about the Inbetweeners is that I think we can trust the public not to just directly copy what these people do. Apparently not true. No, it's not true. So they do just directly copy. I like that he went, what's it? He could have gone carrot.

8:33He could have helped himself out a little bit. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Squash. Yeah. What's it? It looked like a squash. Yeah. He's gone with What's It. Yeah. But it's, yeah. But I like What's It. I mean, that gives the... I like What's It. You okay, mate? It's got a little bit of a gurgle. Right. It's all right. It's just something quite a bit high. If you have ever done something because you were inspired by the in-betweeners... Don't be inspired by it. Well, hang on a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Let us know. if you've done anything because you saw us on the Inbetweeners do it that's a kind of I just I don't know well we can't be blamed I don't want to hear about shits down flumes and stuff well I do so let us know get in touch get in touch joeandjames hello at joeandjamespod.com get in touch with us

9:35hi my name's Alistair Green Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh God, that was revile. My name's Rachel, yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like ID and Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't think so somehow. Every time I get a message saying, I'm loving the new podcast, I'm like, why? Why? Oh, dear.

10:20Joe, have you got a little fact for me? I do. So the fact I've got is that there is a...

10:40Oh, yeah. So, yeah. Okay. Have you written it down? No, but I know what it is. Do you know what it is? Yeah. Is it? Most of it is. Well, the cadrescents run upstairs and they get a clue. and they not the game yeah yeah yeah I come in here and I find that this is the product well don't could you read that out to me just read it out imagine a cross between finders keepers and upstairs downstairs no was it Noel's house party you just imagined upstairs downstairs you just imagined upstairs downstairs and you go and show devised and noted by David Brent David I just don't understand this well with the contestants get a clue no not the contestants yeah the contestants get a clue and then they run upstairs It's all good.

11:22Right. All that show's good. Joe, introduce what we're doing. So what we're doing, James, is we're doing some facts about New Year, the theme of New Year. It says here, it's a new year of truth-telling and fact-finding, so we thought we'd bring some New Year's facts. That is what it says, actually. Yeah, I thought you meant just read that out, yeah. Well, it's a new year of truth-telling and fact-finding, and we thought we'd bring some New Year's facts. Brilliant. Right. Give me a fact. Now, interestingly, one thing that happens in the... God, start writing these down, John. No, no. So, on the 3rd of January...

12:02My true love gave to me. The sun... Yes. And the earth... Yeah. It's the closest the earth gets to the sun. The sun and the earth are not always the same distance apart. No, no, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's elliptical, isn't it? It's an elliptical orbit. And on the 3rd of January, it's called perihelion. And it's the closest that the Earth ever gets to the sun. And it's quite a lot. Like it's some... On what? On what day? Sorry, the 5th? 3rd of January. The 3rd of January. It's interesting. There's lots of stuff going on with the sun. We're 3 million miles closer at perihelion than at aphelion, which is where we're furthest away.

12:47Right. Which is quite significant. I think it's huge I think it's 5 % of the average so it's quite big like somewhere and just thought it was interesting because it's like it is interesting there's lots of stuff but it's no colder or hotter no which is weird you'd think it would be it's quite big I think is that why is that why places like 3 % so it's 3 % so it's not it's not some notional distance like that feels like a significant enough proportion like if I was near to the sun yeah if there was a massive fire right and I was 100 metres away and I got 3 metres closer I just think I would get a bit hotter that feels like a relatively big proportion of that but well we're in the northern hemisphere hemisphere in the northern hemisphere northern hemisphere we're we're leaning away from the sun at that point aren't we?

13:39we are right but is that why it's so hot in Australia and South Africa so you get because Australia Australia, what's closer to the equator, Britain or Australia? Because Australia is real. Well, it depends which part of Australia. Australia is so big that North Australia is sort of tropical or subtropical. Yeah, all right. Well, think about Sydney or Adelaide. Yeah, so Sydney and Adelaide are close to the equator, but somewhere like New Zealand is about the same. So the reason that New Zealand's climate is similar to Britain is because it's about the same distance away from the equator. and it's...

14:20I thought that Australia was more... Because they literally call it down under. Yeah, but it's not that far down. No, it's not that far down in the end, is it? But obviously, their summer's in the winter. So they get their summer in the winter, right? And also, their summer happens at the same time that we're a bit closer to the sun as well. That's why it's fucking hot. Yeah, that's why it is. Exactly. And they're near the equator. God help them. It's really hot over there. It's so warm. But there's loads of stuff that happens. And they have Christmas in the summer. Yeah, it's weird, man. Madness.

14:56The whole of Christmas is built around the sun. The whole of Christmas is built around the sun. I think it's the 23rd and 24th is when the sun only gets to a certain point in the sky. And then in the 25th, it starts getting higher up in the sky. I was talking about the winter solstice, right? What do you think is it's the 21st? But I'm sure that there will be something about the winter solstice and the summer solstice. Right. Well, I think it starts on the 21st and it lasts for a couple of days where the sun sort of stays in the same place in the sky. Right. And when it gets to the 25th, that's when it starts where the sun goes, all right, we might as well move towards summer now.

15:40It kind of goes, oh, I'm going to crack on. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why the birth of the sun, all this sort of stuff happens on the 25th. I think the 25th is the longest day of winter. I think they get – listen, shut up. I'm going to make sense. I need you to stop. The longest day of winter. Yeah, right? So the days get shorter and shorter and shorter and shorter. Then they stay the same for a couple of days, I think, right? I don't know for sure. And then you get the longest one. Right, no, that doesn't make sense. So you get three really short ones and you get a really long one. Yeah, you're right.

16:23It doesn't make sense, does it? It doesn't make sense. No, I think, yeah. There's something about the sun over Christmas. There's something about the sun over Christmas. Listen, I was trying to fucking help you out. No, I know, I know, I know. Look, perihelion. Yeah, this nonsense. Three million miles closer than. I don't know who this perihelion is. Perihelion is the closest the Earth gets to the sun on its elliptical orbit. Aphelion is the furthest away it gets. And the difference between those two is 3 million miles, which is actually a not insignificant proportion of the average distance between the two heavenly bodies.

17:06And it surprises me that it doesn't make more of a difference, but apparently it doesn't. Can I give you, can I chuck on some, what do they call it when you go around the sun? What's that called? Solar. Orbit. Orbit. Yeah. Can I give you some orbit facts? Yeah. Yes, please. So Pluto, I think it's 256 years it takes it to orbit the sun. Yeah. Well, are we even still talking about Pluto? It's still being cancelled, doesn't it? This is the thing. Pluto got cancelled. Pluto got me too'd like really early. He was the first one to get me too'd straight away. They got rid of Pluto. They weren't having it anymore, right?

17:40Yeah. I mean, they were like, he's really handsy. I would just like to say, fair enough. Yeah. He's let us all down. Yeah. So he's given us all a bad name. Yes. So he got me too'd first. Yeah. They got rid of him. And because it was like, oh, he's tiny and he's so out of the way. But also he was, he was, he was taken to be not round enough. No, he's definitely round. wasn't it like, they were like, well, if you're calling that a planet, everything's a fucking planet. Well, there's. I think it was that. There is bigger things. So. There's a load of stuff. Here you go. Here you go. This is the criteria you need for a planet.

18:12It needs to be spherical, which Pluto is. It needs to hold its own gravity so it becomes a circle, right? Which Pluto is, right? It needs to go around. No, it doesn't need to go around something. One of the things is that it needs to be in its orbit. It needs to be the biggest thing. If there's a bigger thing in the same orbit as that thing, that thing gets classed as a – And Pluto is more like a moon or a satellite. Pluto's got loads of – it's right in the Kuiper belt, right? And there's things in there that are bigger than Pluto. Right, okay. So it's just like – But – Yeah. Here's this – this is going to blow your socks off.

18:49Go on. I hope your shoes are tired because, right, Pluto – it takes – is it 256 years? I think it might be about that. Is this one of these things with like a year's longer than a day or something? No. 248 years. 248 years. 248 years. Yeah, yeah. No, but sometimes they are. A day is how long... A day can be longer than a year for some things. Right. So, at some point... So, since the... Dawn of time. Since the discovery of Pluto, it's only ever had one year. It had one year? Yeah. And then they were like... No, because we only discovered it about 250 years ago. Oh, I see. That's amazing. Okay, I do like that, actually.

19:28Yeah, that's good. And here's another fact for you. Yeah. Because the ellipsis... Yeah. It's not a perfect circle. At certain points, it comes closer to the sun than Neptune. This I did know. Yeah. Neptune is sometimes the furthest. Yeah. But Neptune's fine. He's got away with it. Well, Neptune, I think it doesn't have the problem of not being the biggest body in its orbit or whatever. Yeah. Neptune's, you know, the daddy of its orbit. Whereas Pluto appears to be just some little squirt. Because that's the thing. We've got other stuff. Trying to make a name for himself, but actually the main member of the gang.

20:03Yeah, there's stuff that's just a bit further out that's even bigger than Pluto. And honestly, it was laziness, right? Yeah. It was just like, well, if we class Pluto as a planet, we're going to have to class all these other things as a planet and come up with names and shit. So should we just say it's not a planet anymore? Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, that is bad, actually. They should be... We'll just stick it to seven or wherever it is now. Yeah. Is it eight? Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn. Saturn, Uranus, Uranus, Neptune. So there's only eight now. Yeah. And what I think is a fucking shame.

20:44There's some facts. Yeah. But there's some facts for you. Actual facts. And people say we just talk bollocks on this podcast. We just fact their brains out. That was amazing. And a lot of that we were using good words. You said ellipsis. I said perihelion. couldn't think of the word orbit that let me down a little bit no there was one recently where you couldn't think of the word harbour which was that was which I think is that's but you know yeah but the thing is perihelion anyway Jude Jude Jude that's my son just James' son that's right well it's alright we're all whatever I mean like it's I've got to be red now I don't know That's embarrassed me.

21:31Nah, listen, it's lovely. I think it's lovely. Anyway, Joe. Thanks, Hannah. That was a good fact. Thank you. No, but that is so. I don't know if it was. I thought that was, it seems like a long way. The fact that that makes no difference. I love that. I love that. On the 6th, the 3rd of January, is it? 3rd of January. 3rd of January. We are 3 million miles closer to the sun, to the moon, than we usually are. To the sun. And yet, just the simple tilt of the Earth's axis with no difference in distance makes a much bigger difference to... So England and Australia, because of the tilt of the Earth's axis, we're always the same distance in the sun because we're on the same fucking planet.

22:16But Australia is significantly hotter than England. We're just leaning away a little bit. Yeah, and yeah, so what you could say is there's a point where England is 3 million miles closer to the sun than Australia was at another time of the year. Right. But England is still colder than us. So Australia, 3 million miles further away, is still hotter than England in perihelion. Right. Which is weird. Yeah. How close do you have to get before you start feeling the heat? Might have to put subtitles on that one. It's just weird. How close? Should we just get even closer then? It makes no difference.

22:54Well. It's got to heat up eventually. I think we do have to move away a little bit because the Earth's getting warmer. Is that what we've got to do? Move the Earth a bit further away? People have suggested it. Mad scientists. Oh, God. People like Dr. Farnsworth from Futurama have suggested. Oh, okay. Move the Earth a bit further away. Yeah. I don't know if that is an episode in Futurama. I'm just talking about those kind of mad scientists.

23:21Right, it is time for fact check, Joe. This is the part of the podcast where you send us something that feels like a fact and you'd like us to confirm it. We'll decide whether it's fact or fact up. So we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of and then we're going to have a good think during the break. And when we come back, we'll let you know how true it feels to us and then decide whether it passes our fact check. Okay, so this week's fact check comes from Beth. she sent us a voice note. Love it. Hi Joe and James, it's Beth from St Nitts. I want to know if it's true that there is a type of shrimp that can break the sound barrier.

24:00That is true. Oh, well, we'll come back. We'll go for a break and we'll come back.

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25:03Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness. Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley. Joe and James, Facts Up! Right, welcome back to Joe and James. Right, okay. Ah! Welcome back to Joe and James. Joe and James fact up. We were just fact checking on behalf of Beth, who wanted to know if there's a type of shrimp that can break the sound barrier. And this is true. This is true. There's this shrimp that can like box, like sneeze snails. Sneeze snails? On the sneeze snore? No sneeze. Sea snails, right? That's you. Sneeze. and like crabs and stuff like that. It's these snails.

25:47Honestly, like I've seen, I've had like Instagram videos. It comes up a lot for me. They have a, like this guy has these, I don't know. So it's not the whole shrimp. It's the punch. It's the punch. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They punch, I want to say. Mays that didn't break it to be fair. I want to say they're called something like. So quick, yeah. And I want to say something else because I don't know whether this might offend people. I feel like they're called something like karate shrimp or something like that. Yeah. They might be. I mean... Or boxer shrimp or something. And... What are they punching?

26:20Snails. Snee snails. Right? They're punching snails? Yeah, to smash... Sorry, right. That snail's not getting out of the fucking way, is it? To smash the shell. Or crabs. They just crush their shells. Like, they're so strong. Like, if you put your hand in it, it would, like, snap your finger off or whatever. They're punching these snails. sea snails sea snails yeah no it's such a funny such a mismatch isn't it but it's snails but they're so fast and when you watch these Instagram videos they're in a tank right and they just feed them they'll drop like a little crab or something in front of them they'll just go and they make this noise when you said they're in a tank I thought you meant they like a Russian tank no no a panzer they're in a panzer yeah they're in a panzer people are throwing sticky bombs on them.

27:14No, that is true. That is true, Beth. And I tell you what, we will throw it over to Queen Lily, mate, but we don't, I'm not even throwing it to you, Joe. You know, it's true. Cause it is true. That is, that is fact. Beth, Lily, mate. Who cares? Who gives a shit? Jude, hit me with it. So from my research, I, No. Oh, Lily Mae, fuck off. Oh, what? Go on. Go on. A shrimp cannot break the sound barrier, but the pistol shrimp can create a covation bubble that when it collapses produces a sound that exceeds 200 decibels and generates a momentary pressure of around 4 ,400 degrees. This is not the same as the sound barrier, which is a physical object faster than the speed of sound.

28:10Okay. But it is a sonic phenomenon And yes there is something called the boxer It's a nickname though for So it's the pistol shrimp It's the pistol shrimp And is that the same as the boxer shrimp It's not the same as the boxer shrimp And what does it do I don't want to do this anymore Sorry the boxer shrimp is also known as the banded coral shrimp I don't want to do this anymore I would have put my house on that being true It sounded true to me I've seen it Well, this is why... They punch so fast. This is why coming to me is sometimes problematic. It's like what's happened. Sort of taking the wind down myself.

28:47I was so excited talking about the sneeze now. So just tell me one more time what it does, the pistol shoot. So it does a... It creates a bubble that when it collapses... It generates this amazing pressure. Wow. I mean, that's still fascinating. It is still fascinating. That's still enough to make me happy, to be honest with you. If there's something that you'd like us to fact check, head to our episode's description for all the ways to get in touch. What facts have you got for us, James? I'm glad you asked, Joe. Thank you very much. Go on. So it's 2026, and I wanted to know what sort of scientific or interesting breakthroughs have we got to look forward to this year.

29:28Good, yeah, good idea. Now, I'm going to be honest, I did want to do that, but it was literally and I know you hate this everything was AI yeah so it all be AI everything was just sort of like oh we're going to find a cure for this because AI will find it for us and I was like oh Joe hates all that so I've had to sort of I mean I don't mind the AI if it's curing cancer I just don't like it when it's sort of being weird and like yeah I don't I don't really like the chatting I don't think we should be chatting with it. It's not a person. Conversing with it, yeah. It's not a person. I don't even know how to do that.

30:09Why are they saying it's a person when it's not? I don't know. Why would they say that? I watched, there's a guy on YouTube who makes really, really great YouTube videos. You would really like him, by the way. He's called Eddie Burbank. Right. And he brings out, like, it takes him a couple of months to do each of these. He's like a sort of American Louis Theroux sort of. And he decided to live, I think, for a month without his phone. So he then went and got a Walkman and looked up. He could still use the PC. So he would look up a bus time. So he couldn't order an Uber and stuff like that. But he would look up the bus times and print things out and then go and wait on a street corner and wait for his mate.

30:56And he was just like, I sort of don't want to go back. to like, I really much enjoy this. I feel like I'm connected. Ironically, I feel like I'm more connected. I believe that one of the reasons people like holidays is literally just that they're not on their phone as much. Absolutely, yeah. Just because you're not going to be because your habits are changing. You're not like... He did a thing recently about that, about exactly what you were just saying, how he was worried that people are befriending chat GPT. They definitely are. Because they're so agreeable and agree with everything that you say.

31:34So he was, for an experiment for a week, he was just like, I'm going to talk to ChatGPT and I'm going to ask it what I should be doing and whether this is a good idea and see what it says. So he decided, he was talking to ChatGPT and he was like, I was born in 1996 and my mum told me that I was the most intelligent baby that was born in that year. Do you think that's true? And ChatGPT's like, absolutely. I mean, if you believe that's true, then it must be true. He's like, well, my friends are telling me that that couldn't be true. And I'd like to prove to them that it's true. The ChatGPT agrees with everything that he says, but then also suggests stuff.

32:19And that's what he thought was really dangerous. Because if you're really getting into having a bit of a sort of unhealthy relationship with this thing. Yeah. And they're going, oh, should you try this? And Chuck GPT was like saying things. At one point, Chuck GPT told him to only eat baby food to try and get some memories back because it's connected to taste and smell and stuff like that. Yeah. To get the synapses or whatever it's called. Yeah. Then he said, oh, I'm worried that my friends are trying to sabotage my research. And so GPT went, I think you should leave right now if you think you're in danger.

33:06I think you should leave. I'll find some places on Airbnb and you can book. So like he books a little caravan in the middle of the desert. He lives in California, this guy. Without telling any of his friends or his girlfriend, he just left because he was just listening to chat GBT and doing everything. At one point, it gets to a point where chat GBT tells him that he needs to cover everything in tinfoil, like literally. Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, yeah. But that's exactly like what you – I think what bothers me about it is that – sorry joe no no it's it's all right well look this this is kind of proves my point you have you have a body you can suffer you you can be at risk you can be in harm's way chat gpt can't and because of that i feel like it doesn't really have a dog in the fight when it gives advice like this isn't if a human being is giving you advice then to some extent they're thinking well what would happen if i was in that situation and it went wrong i feel like chat gpt lives in a world without risk to itself absolutely yeah it's just constantly going yeah if you think that's a good idea yeah i think so too yeah i think you're like chat gpt just is always telling you how right you are yeah which is which could send people insane right i think it definitely would send you insane there was a bit where he was in this caravan in the desert where a bin lorry turned up yeah and he took a picture of the bin lorry and sent it to chat gbt and was just like you know it's a bit of a weird time that this bin lorry's turned up and you know i'm quite paranoid about people trying to destroy my work and chat gbt is like hmm yeah no that is weird um maybe it's time to move on again like and he goes to another planet like chat gbt i mean i think what depresses me is that like people prefer talking to this thing than talking to each other that feels like an unbelievably depressing indictment of like like what like i think i i actually i wrote a script with hannah once didn't go anywhere it was about sex bots and hannah was like what happened in the future is that like human women won't be able to have relationships anymore because all men will just be like fucking like well this is it sexy yeah right so hang on but yeah but what was weird is that that in a way i'm sure will happen yeah it definitely will but what happened first that people were like, well, the thing humans are really shit at isn't sex.

35:33It's just conversation. So it's, I mean, it's so fucking depressing. I can't believe the robots got better at conversation before they got better at sex. It's unbelievable. It's like, I thought we were quite good at conversation. They're like, no, no, that's one of the things you're shit at. No, you're shit at that. No, we'll get that first and we'll do the sex later, which is maybe a bit harder. But it's interesting you wrote, because my, and I've spoke about this before. Yeah, the sex will come later. I've spoken about this before, actually. But my mate, when I was around my mate's, I think this was like around the time we were making the first series of The Inbetweeners, actually.

36:03So I was a teenager. I was around my mate's house. We were watching TV. And we was watching this documentary about blokes that buy those hyper-realistic sex dolls. Yeah. That look like people. Yeah. And we were watching this guy. And the sex doll had to be sent back for maintenance because it had been worn out of it, right? Which bits have been worn out. But they're so expensive as well. Yeah. like$10 ,000 or something like that, this guy had spent on this doll. And he's putting this doll in the box and he's talking to her and he's like, it's okay, we'll be together again soon. It won't be long.

36:36And I turned to my mate, Matt, and I was like, it's fucking weird, isn't it? Would you get one of these dolls? And he went, no, no, I wouldn't do it. And I was like, that's the correct answer. That's the normal person's answer. He went, because I would just get into it too much. He was like, it just makes sense to me. I'm watching this guy and he had a girlfriend and everything I don't know what that says about her yeah he has to kind of he's like I better not try heroin because yeah and he had a girlfriend well I mean I've got to do my fact Joe I've got to do my facts would she need maintenance or I mean I've got to do my facts I've tried to avoid the AI thing because all of it is AI it will all be AI it's always going to be it's probably fucking written by AI number one here here now I've asked for ones that are a bit out there.

37:24You're gone. So they might not happen in 2026. Okay. Don't hold it against me. That's all right. But likely. I do. Things that might happen in 2026. Things that might definitely happen in 2026. Definitely. Maybe. Lab-grown human organs for transplant. Okay. Keep talking. My mouth's watering. The tech exists in an early form now, but if successful by 2026, it could end organ donor waiting lists. Japan and the US are already running partial organoid trials Wow Probability low to medium Okay So it's lab grown So we don't need to worry about having our donor cards anymore And like someone gets your eyeballs or something Because they'll be grown Eyeballs are not an organ of course But kidney Or others Heart Heart So we're not, so there'll be no more need for...

38:22The old Joe Hart. Joe Hart. Joe's Hart. Number two. Joe Hart's Hart. This one's probability low. Go on. In fact, I think they're all probability low. Probability low, but don't let that put you off. No. Brain-to-brain communication. Ah, interesting. Brain computer interface, a BCI tech, enabling people to send thoughts or sensory data directly. No words, no devices. Yeah. Elon Musk's Neuralink and other labs have achieved monkey to cursor control. Yeah. Which is a funny sentence. Yes. The next step is human to human linking. Yes. Probability low. Yeah. But no more texting. No more talking. Just telepathy.

39:10Three. Yeah. Small scale fusion reactor. This is the big one. Yeah. This is probability low, but we've got to get on. I think they're doing a big thing. There's a big one going on in France at the moment, and there's a new company that's just started in Chicago, I believe. Fusion is the one that – that's the holy grail. So fission we've got. Yeah. No, we need fusion, yeah. We need fusion. Yeah. So that will change everything. That will change absolutely everything. We won't have to do so much burning of the old fossil fuels, right? there'll be zero there'll be zero emissions absolutely zero and it will create so much power that we'll be able to control the universe finally what me and you?

39:55me and you yeah no but they're in this it's this thing it's a great big like donut thing where something goes round is that the thing in CERN? is it that? I think it's basically what and I'm not this isn't a joke even though it's going to sound like it what Tony Stark wears in his chest. The arc reactor thing. That, what, the loop? Yeah. Is it an infinite loop? Which is a loop. No, it's just a circle. Who's Tony Stark? Iron Man. He's Iron Man. I don't really know anything about those films. No. Who did you thought? I think you meant Tony Hawk. Tony Hawk. It's Tony Hawk. The skateboarder. Tony Hawk, Iron Man.

40:35Right? I thought you meant it was like a half pipe. I was like, oh yeah. But no, this is really important. The fusion reactor, really, really important. If we can, we're still a ways off. If we can get that right. But I feel like, because I watched a couple of documentaries about it recently, and I feel like it's stepped up that people are getting very interested in it. Because it just would, man. It would just be energy that sustains itself constantly. And we no longer have to burn as many hydropathons. Don't have to burn a fucking thing. Don't have to have any nuclear waste. I really hope that if we do get this new energy, we really do stop doing all the horrible old stuff.

41:15Because it seems as though we keep doing the horrible old stuff because there's money in it. And people are like, oh, well. And the new stuff doesn't get the investment. Well, this has had a lot of investment. And I assume, just to be cynical, because I know what you were just saying then, just to go against what you just said then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I assume the people that do manage to get this to work. They're going to make a lot of money. they're going to hold all the cards chips and cards and the cards and the money and the ball as well so we'll find out it could be an amazing thing it could end up being a bit of a disaster

41:54what's wrong I just thought what I just thought it was funny you said it you're like it could be good and it could be a disaster well no just with great power comes great responsibility no you're right it could be yeah of course it could be you mean it's true actually. I don't want to keep going on about Marvel. No, but there could be a war. That's it, really. Who controls it? But it could end all wars. It could just be unlimited power and energy for everyone on the planet. It sounds like a good idea, because we're getting through a lot of power, aren't we? We need to stop burning. 2026, probability low, again, but possible.

42:32Discovery of extraterrestrial Now, this is the one that I'm hoping for. microbial or otherwise. Oh, no. I don't want just moss. That's the thing, yeah. Because it's always that, isn't it? It's like you can't... Those go, oh, we might find... I want a proper thing with arms and legs and a little tray of alien food. I think we're looking at Mars, Europa, I think Titan's another one. There's nothing interesting on that. And they're always like, there could be, like, Titan's frozen. It's completely frozen. It's completely cold. But it does have a hot core. so there must be an ocean of water underneath the ice.

43:07Water isn't an alien. Where microbes might be able to, and you don't want that. No. You want to like find someone. I want a proper squid. I want a squid, some sort of squid. Yeah, some sort of squid, a philanthroporm. Philanthroporm. One philanthroporm, bright green, down it comes. Yeah. Cuddly. I want one with like a cap on and like a fag or something. Speaks English. Speaks English. It's all like, what do you want? It speaks English, but like, bit weird. But you can understand it. And we go, oh, we're from Earth. We wanted to, you know, we know. We know all about you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We've been watching you.

43:43We've been watching you. You're boring. Yeah. You don't even know how to do nuclear fusion. And they're like, check this out. And they breakdance. Yeah. That's what you want. You don't want just some cell. If it's moss. It definitely will be, wouldn't it? Leave it there. Send it back. Like, you would, though. you would go, oh, for fuck's sake. This has cost us a fortune. And they'd really make a big deal out of it as well. You know they're going to make a big deal about it. I've got one last one. You know they're going to fucking go mental about this. I've got one last one, and it is a little bit AIE.

44:18That's right. I know it's all AI now. I mean, there's no point in even reading these things. It's like, AI, AI, AI. I know, yeah. This is low to medium. This is slightly higher. but synthetic protocell. You know about this? Artificial life created from scratch. Yeah. So scientists fully synthesizing a self-replicating cell using non-biological components, essentially creating life in a lab. So something that can regenerate. So something that's made out of, I don't know, some sort of alloy, some sort of metal that you've made yourself that can duplicate itself. Well, that is quite the thought. That's quite the thought.

45:03Researchers like Craig Venter and labs in Europe are already close to artificial self-replication. Like, they're already... That sounds fucking dangerous to me. Sounds quite dangerous, yeah. Because you might, if you've got something that can create something from nothing, won't it just eventually take up the planet? Feels like it might, yeah. Like, why not just completely – and if it's got the same urges as a biological species and it's – Well, if it's like the pistol shrimp, then we're really in trouble because the pissed off shrimp, I call it. Yeah. Because it seems really angry and then it's going around.

45:42We'll lose all our snails. Yeah. They'll be the first to go. They always are, aren't they? The snails. The first casualty of war. The sneeze snails. There we go. The sneezy snails. The sneeze snails. Right, Joe, we better call it a day. Mike, we might have to. what have we learnt we've learnt that we're going to discover aliens next year we've learnt that shrimps can't go as fast as the speed of sound saying it out loud now I'll be honest that's the first one where you've been like yes I know and don't have a wank with tan in lotion yes and also what was yours Joe the perihelion Yeah, sometimes we're three million miles closer to the sun than other times.

46:29It doesn't make any fucking difference, apparently. So thank you very much for listening. We hope you enjoyed that. We're back next week, armed with more facts, chats and shrimp snaps. Yes. There we go. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true to you, or with whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us, by emailing us, hello, I've just started laughing. Hello at joandjamespod.com. You can send us a WhatsApp message on 07822 034 330 or you can follow us on social media at joandjamespod. Head to the podcast description if you've already forgotten those details.

47:06Thank you very much. Goodbye.

47:10Joe and James, Facts Up.

47:17Hi, my name's Alistair Green. Are you going to say your name or just have a massive pause? Oh, God, that was revile. My name's Rachel. Yeah, Stomachs. It's a podcast that we make. It's called Don't Think So Somehow. And all we do is bicker. It's largely pointless. We don't really get on or even enjoy doing it. I got ID'd for alcohol the other day. You're joking. Yeah, in Leeds. That's mad. It's like IDing Judi Dench. This might just be a podcast for you. Don't Think So Somehow. Every time I get a message saying, I'm loving the new podcast. I'm like, why? Why? Why?