What's Scarier Than Joe Thomas' Trainers?

0:01I know you want to get into this episode of Facked Up, but just before we do, you're going to want to hear this first. On Help I Sexted My Boss, quite the mystery is unfolding as Jordan North's microwave has been stolen by one of his mates. It's not exactly something you can sneak out of the house easily. You're going to want to hear how the boys unpack this drama. Search for Sexted and get the episode lined up to play next.

0:29The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show we recommend. Hi, I'm Cara Berry, host of Everyone's Business But Mine.

1:08Think of me as your new friend and fellow busybody as I talk about everything under the pop culture sun from the best way to detect a celebrity breakup or pregnancy to recapping your favorite reality TV shows from the Housewives cinematic universe. Welcome to Plathville Kardashians and so much more. So check out Everyone's Business But Mine, airing multiple times a week, everywhere you listen to podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Friend of mine. I say a friend of mine. No, it wasn't a friend, was it? That's a shame. A boy at my school turned up.

1:52He went to a disco wearing a Puma t-shirt, two-stripe Adidas jogging bottoms and shiny school shoes.

2:04And this is the song that followed him throughout the whole of school. It was to the tune of Let Me Entertain You by Robbie Williams. Right. And it just became a thing. whenever we saw him. We just went, people too strapped, shiny shoes, people too strapped, shiny shoes, people too strapped, shiny shoes. Come on, come on, come on, come on.

2:33He didn't know we did that. So it was, it was sort of bullying, but it wasn't, there wasn't really a victim. Yeah. Wow. Because he never knew. Because he didn't know. He didn't know. And the thing is, he was ginger and we could have gone after that and we didn't. Exactly. So in a way, you were, you were sort of inoculating him against worse stuff. Exactly. Joe and James. Joe and James. No, Joe and James. Joe and James. It's fucked up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James. Joe and James, fucked up. Welcome to Joe and James, fucked up. Each week we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting, the more true it is.

3:15I shouldn't have drank a big gulp of beer. Yeah, do you want me to do it? I'm more than capable. Okay, fine. It's fine. I don't mind. I just shouted I'm more than capable. I'm more than capable. All I'm doing is proving that I'm not. Yeah, you shouldn't burp during your kind of... Carry on. Listen, we'll unpack it, debate it, and then probably wander off on something completely unrelated. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research yourself in a segment that we're calling Fact Check. so we want you to send your facts for us you can email us hello at joeandjamespod.com you can whatsapp us on 07822 034 330 you can follow us on our socials at joeandjamespod and you can watch all our episodes on youtube just search for joeandjamesfactup and the youtube videos come out the exact same day as the audio ahead to the podcast description description if You've already forgotten those details.

4:16Now, let's get fucked up. Now, Joe. Yeah. Here's something we need to... Yeah, we've had some messages. Yeah. So we're now properly caught up. A few episodes have gone out now. Yeah. I've been keeping my eye on the old... On the old... The mailbag. On the comments and such. Yeah. That'll be a comment. Don't let Buckley burp anymore. it's the beer it's not my fault it's the beer you got to be you're a human being mate I've been keeping an eye on the comments and I'll tell you something Joe it's a sort of I'm not one of those guys where it's like listen I'll make what I want to make and if you like it then that's cool and if you don't you can fuck off neither am I I'm not one of those guys neither am I I think you've got to remember that you're making some you're trying to you're making something for people aren't you right yeah you can't be that stubborn Ideally.

5:15And we've had some constructive criticism. Yeah. All of it I agreed with. I just read it all. I was like, yeah, you're right. You're absolutely right. The main one is that more me than you, but even you were getting it in the last couple of episodes, is that we need to stop talking over each other. Yeah, I know. But that's a problem that we've always had. Yeah. We do need to stop it because it doesn't make for a nice listening. Is that a sentence? Yeah, it doesn't make for a nice listening. Yeah, no, I agree. And I've been aware of this as well. And I've seen that it's, I say seen, people have told, I'm too much of a coward to read the comments.

5:54So like, people have told me. I think it's important to, because I think it helps. I know what's in them, but I have, well, yeah. I already know what they're going to say. I know what they're going to say. It's not like, it's like when you go on an exam, you know how well you've done. It's not going to come back. Oh, you aced it. But I'm confident. I didn't. But, yeah, I know that we are interrupting each other too much. Yeah. I had an idea that we could get a conch, which is a big shell. Yeah, you pass the conch. You have us holding the conch. And it talks. Yeah. And they have one in Lord of the Flies.

6:32Right. I think we'd just be wrestling each other. We would be trying to get the conch. The conch would be smashed up. But this is our thing. This is what we've always done. and it did remind me of when we were making the show, the Inbetweeners. Yeah. And I don't know, like, let's get the other boys in and then they can really see what I'm... Because while we were supposed to be making a TV show or a film or whatever, most of the time was us spent trying to talk over each other, trying our hardest to make each other laugh. And that's all we did when we were making... If there was a TV show or a film at the end of the day, they were lucky that they got that out of us.

7:07Yeah, I was kind of surprised they brought the first series out. I didn't think they'd have the footage. I was like, oh, you've actually... And they didn't actually, did they? No. There was one episode that was 16 minutes long when they edited it together. They're like, we... And I mean, that feels like something you should be on top of as a production, like making sure that you've got enough television. That's interesting. No, it's fine. The things people do, I don't know what... We do it too much though. I did try. I had to stop listening. I was trying to listen. I was trying to listen. I was like, oh, this is well.

7:46This is so irritating. Okay. We'll just try. We'll just let, we'll just, we just want to let you guys know that we are looking at your comments and we are listening. We are. Lily May. We're listening. We're listening. We are listening. And you can hear that. The people have spoken. Hello. The comments were like, get that bird. microphone not out only for the facts only for the facts so I should shut up oh I don't agree with that at all and they like the cackling they like the cackling well speaking good for Halloween there's more cackling we're out the cackling because it's Halloween we'll get on to that in a second but no we are listening to your comments and we do agree you're right there's loads of things that we could do to improve this and we'll get there eventually I'm sure we will we are trying our best though we've got some reactions to our jingle oh I keep forgetting we've got that jingle

8:47memexo on Spotify says interesting jingles I thought the jingles on the Buckleys were shite that's a that's a podcast I do with Claire yeah I know that is how that scans isn't it I thought it was two separate I read it as like interesting jingles new paragraph I thought the jingles on the buckles were shite but actually it's saying I thought I'd heard shit but now I missed the jingles on the buckles fucking hell I was spoiled yeah okay well that's good you know I was born listening to those jingles yeah wow dude thanks seven nine six two on YouTube says it definitely mirrors the show's tone but what makes podcast jingles stick in your head is a catchy iconic sound.

9:35The words have a ring, but nothing beats an obscure short earworm. Keep up the great work. Okay. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Well do. Thanks. Yeah. That's interesting. It's quite a lot to unpack there. Yeah. It kind of, I'm not sure where that lands. The objectives on Instagram just says it's like a fever dream. Are you going to entertain or haunt us? Halloween. So fine. You're welcome. Amber Gallagher, straight to the point on Spotify, just says you need someone, You need someone better to do the jingles. Yeah, fine. Yeah, makes sense. No, I don't mean, I just mean the sentence makes sense. I think you seemed sceptical.

10:15Erica Ann has gone the complete opposite. And this is one of the comments I don't agree with, to be honest with you. On Instagram, she says, I think we need a full three-minute version on all streaming services. Challenge accepted. Maybe we could do a wrap. Maybe there could be a sort of wham rap in it, Joe. Oh, I'll tell you what. We could write that. Something a little bit political. Yeah. What else have we got? And the rest are just quite nice. They're less funny. I'll read it a nice one. Well, Ian Gilmartin says, it's terrible, but that's what will make it so iconic and memorable. Harry Booth says, this has made my year.

10:56The jingle does need some work though. Yeah. And Ding Dong Accountant says, best theme song of anything ever. Oh, well, that's good. Thank you, Ding Dong Accountant. You are in the minority, Ding Dong. Ding Dong Accountant. That's all right. Well, I don't, I mean, I think that seems okay. I think we can keep it. Yeah. Well, are you going to make a jingle? I can't. I don't know how to. I don't know how to. So that'll be it then. we've also had um a message from anthony about the pneumatic tubes yeah uh or just before you do can i just put my phone on air phone mode is that right you can do whatever you want mate sorry this is your this is your podcast you can put it on loud if you wanted to no one's going to tell you to turn your phone off here mate i know but i just feel like i should try and be whatever Professional.

11:52Sure. Sorry. Here we are. Right. That's that done. Right. Here we are. Anyway. Yeah. Go on. Loads have got in touch with us about the pneumatic tubes or for want of a better word. For want of a better word than pneumatic tubes. Yeah. This is. Dildos. This is of the dildos. Oh, yes. Of course we called them. Yes. Here's one from Anthony. He says, hi, Joe and James. Listening to your first podcast. And James was talking about his mother working in the home office and using a shoot, brackets, dildo to transfer documents. I think I can top this one. I'm from Dublin and there is a local shop in an area called Neilstown.

12:28Due to the amount of thefts of chicken fillet rolls, a staple of Irish lunches, from their deli, the shop set up a shoot system that would transport the deli-prepared chicken fillet directly to the till. Just think about how many rolls must have been stolen for them to for this idea

12:51FYI next time you're in Dublin try yourself a chicken fillet roll my personal favourite is a spicy chicken fillet lettuce, cheese and taco sauce anyway going strong with the podcast the first one was brilliant and we haven't heard from him since what are we on? episode six episode six now yeah it's yeah I wonder how many he listened to do you listen to six and he was like the first one was brilliant yeah Yeah, going strong. But you wouldn't say going strong. Going strong. Thanks for that. That's great, though. So this chicken fillet roll is coming along through a tube. Listen, man, this shop, right, they're selling these chicken fillet rolls that are so good that they've had to come up with some kind of Wallace and Gromit style security to stop people from nicking all the chicken fillet rolls.

13:42Yeah. I've got to try one. Is it all right by the time it's arrived? Because it's not all going to be torn apart by the G-forces or whatever. No. It's Newton's first law of... Every sandwich has an equal and opposite sandwich. No, it's right. It's like when you jump on a train. You're saying it's like already there. If you jump in a train carriage, you're not going to fly back, are you? Newton came up with that. Don't have a go at me. it was Newton's fault you might fly back it was going really I'm just saying if it is too fast are you going to end up with no filling or it's just going to be like a well that's the thing yeah it depends on the acceleration and deceleration yeah yeah because if it's going too fast because that's a misconception as well because people think oh god if we ever learn how to travel the speed of light learn yeah do you mean like we do know but nobody can be bothered to read the book so we haven't revised so he's in a book I was like, I'm not reading that.

14:44No, but if we get really fast, we keep running and get better and better at it. Yeah. If we learn how to go the speed of light, people think, oh, God, but you'll just be like sucked back into your chair. Like if you were on the spacecraft, right? Okay, yeah, on the rocket. But that's only – it just depends about acceleration and deceleration. Once you're constant – I see, okay. Even if you're going the speed of light. Yeah, okay. It would feel like you're just on a train or something. I understand, yeah. So you just need to gently get there. Yeah, you'd have to very slowly get to the speed of light.

15:21Just work through the gears. I assume that would - Now, how many gears would you have, though? Do you know what I mean? Oh, nine. Nine, probably. Let's move on, because Stephanie's here as well in the USA. I love that roll thing, though. That's really good. Stephanie says, she's from America, by the way. USA. Which means she's better. Yeah, so - I don't know why, but if I hear that someone's from America, I do sort of go, oh, really? Oh, okay. Because the in-between is... Oh, okay. All right. But just because... Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, okay. Get a bit flustered. Hi. No, but you know the in-between is so big.

16:01Did you fly over or... Where'd you come from? This is why I have to interrupt, because Joe will just do this forever. No, but like, I know he has to interrupt. You should be allowed to interrupt me. That's another thing as well that I did want to say to every single person that commented saying, can James stop interrupting James? He has to. I do need to because you will just keep going. You have to interrupt me to save me from myself. A little bit, yeah. Because eventually I will have spoken about everything in the world. Yeah. Like a monkey with a typewriter. It is like that. You have to try and come in and just do something.

16:34Like now. Yeah. No, but you know the in-between? It was big in Britain, right? But no, outside of Britain, no one gives a fuck about the in-betweeners. I think all that, yeah. When I hear someone from America goes, oh, I'm a big in-betweeners fan, I do sort of go, oh, hello. Sorry. It is a bit like that. No, it is. It's good. Anyway, Stephanie says, so for want of a better word, the dildo tubes in the States are pneumatic tubes and we still have them in use at drive-through banks. At least where I live in Austin, Texas. Shout out to Austin, Texas, by the way. Shout out to Rudy's. I've been there.

17:13You drive up, put your check in, or what have you, in the tube and send it inside. Not sure who actually uses them, but they exist. Thanks for making my day with a delightful podcast. Well. Well, thank you, Stephanie. I tell you what, you've made out a day. You certainly have. And I'm interested in these drive-through banks. Yeah, I've been to one. Have you? Yeah. Drive up? You do. It is like a McDonald's, but it's a bank. Wow. It's proper odds.

17:45The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Joe and James, Facts Up! Joseph. On we go. As I live and breathe. Well, happy birthday. Thank you. Thank you. Is it your birthday the day this goes out?

18:30It's my birthday the day this comes out. Right. I remember when I turned 40, there was a little meme of me going around, kind of going, oh, can you believe this, lad? It's 40. Yeah. So if nothing else, I'm a kind of reminder of death to people. Yeah, that's it, yeah. They're basically like, death comes to us all. Yeah, Simon from the in-between is his 40. Yeah. Feel old yet? Yeah. So I don't know what's going to happen now because I'm even older. And it's going to keep happening, but there's nothing I can do. You can't stop it, can you? I really can't. No. I can't. and i shan't i shan't yeah exactly i cannot and i will not i cannot condone and i will not condone and i cannot condone yeah anyway so i'm 42 um and uh don't know really just you know how's it feel like i don't know what the fuck i did in my 20s the amount of time i wasted the whole years i just didn't do anything we were busy in our 20s that was it that was when we did all our work pretty much.

19:33I was busy in my 20s. The 30s is the one where I'd like to I'd like to haul my 30s in and be like, sorry, what have you actually been doing? Yeah. Have a word with yourself. Yeah. You know, I come in, I see that this is the product of your labours. Imagine a Cross Street and I was house playing. Explain yourself. The contestants run upstairs and get a clue. No, not the game show. So, no, I mean, I don't, yeah, so the decade I've got an issue with is my 30s. I don't know what I don't know what was happening there. I was still working a bit, but I feel like I was working. And now I feel like I'm working loads.

20:07Right. But I don't like the look of some of the numbers that are coming up. No. And I really don't like the look of them. What, the ones that are coming around the corner there? The one with the five at the front.

20:24Oh, okay. Well, but yeah, I'm 42. and I actually have to say I'm really enjoying my life. Good. And the 40s have been really good so far. So far? Yeah. Good 40s, the naughty 40s. Well, tell you what, just a bit. No, I don't do anything. But no, I'm enjoying them. I was going to say the only decade that could possibly be better, I guess just the first decade, like zero to ten. Zero to ten. Zero to ten because you're just in a wonderful world where your parents protect you from all the bad stuff. But considering I've now got full exposure to the world, I'm enjoying it. I like it. I have a nice, you know.

21:16I didn't appreciate zero to ten at all whatsoever. Yeah. I didn't appreciate it at all. Yeah. Because I guess it's all relative, isn't it? Yeah. Everything's relative. Yeah. I was just as stressed out. Yeah. Like when I was seven about stuff as I am now about like mortgages and things like that. Yeah. I was like stressed about not getting the right sticker for my Panini sticker book or something. Like that was like, that would keep me up at night. I'll never get that sticker. What the fuck am I going to do? Yeah. Right? Yeah, no, I know what you mean. And in my head, that was just as serious as all the actual serious stuff that really keep me up at night these days.

21:50I never had a point in my life where I was like, oh, isn't it good? No worries in the world. I was diagnosed with stress when I was eight. Went to the doctors. I was having really bad stomach cramps. Did you check yourself in? I had to go to rehab. Hello. Oh, hello. No, my mum took you. I was like, I was having these really. Were they like, right, you've taken the first step by coming here. Yeah. The hardest part is over. Well done. So your mum took you in because you were stressed. Yeah. They took all my little, I had those little chocolate cigarettes. Okay. Little chocolate cigarettes wrapped up in paper.

22:27Oh, so yeah, they took them away. They took them away. Oh, so sorry. They took them away. Yeah. No, but literally, they were like, oh. They took one of your cowpole. This eight-year-old child is stressed. I'm very sorry to hear that. And what happened? So what did they, did they, did they, did they drug you? No. No, they. No? I think I did get some medicine, but they were just like, he's stressed. This is a symptom of stress. Yeah. They'd ask me what I'd been doing and what I'd been up to, and I was talking to him about it. I'm like, oh, God. I mean, I think what's – I was definitely stressed out as a teenager and at university.

23:09And I think the thing is the stress is – you're right to say the stress is at the same level. It doesn't really matter that it's what it happens to be about. if someone's you know if someone's suffering they're suffering aren't they like if a girl broke my heart at 12 years old yeah i'd i'd feel exactly the same now if claire my actual wife yeah my kids yeah when oh this it's over yeah like i'd i'd still like it's it's all relative isn't it yeah and i think i say that to my kids as well i'd like i'm like i do say things to them like please don't stress about this now yeah please don't yeah because otherwise you will just because there's loads of stuff to to be stressed over in a few years time there's stuff to yeah but i mean it's funny because it is just you have to just take it on trust from your parents like you're like they'll just i remember my dad saying like you you will feel better and it's like i didn't i really it was just because i thought well he probably knows what he's talking about but he couldn't really demonstrate it to me from first principles.

24:10But I'm genuinely – I'm sorry to hear that you were, you know, suffering from this anxiety as a boy, James. You must have done. Yeah, I did. My teenage years were the big one. Well, no, actually – My teenage years were just me worrying about robots, man. Yeah. That's all that was.

24:28As it's your birthday, I thought that you could go first with your fact. Oh, thank you. For the day. Well, thank you very much. So our facts this week are about Halloween. Well, yeah. We'll wait until we get to the end. Well, yeah, loosely. Hit me with your facts, Joe. Right, here's my facts. So I was thinking about scary films, Halloween. Brilliant. Did you know that the Blair Witch Project, when that premiered at Sundance, in the production credits, all the actors were listed as like deceased and missing. Right. Which I think is quite amazing. Yeah. Because it was at a point where you could do that.

25:22Well - You know, it wouldn't work now. That's - The Blair Witch Project is an incredible film. It's an amazing film. Unfortunately now, because I was - I was maybe, I knew of it, but I was too young at the time to really appreciate what that film had done. Yeah, yeah. I've got friends that are sort of 10 years or so older than me. Well, I'm a bit older than you and I think, and I went to see it in the cinema. Right, you went to see it in the cinema. And it was that genuine, is this real? Is this actually real? Yeah. There is a film that did that for me called The Fourth Kind. right okay and that's a brilliant brilliant brilliant wow okay um but with the blair witch project what was interesting is that they really really leaned into it like they had they had famously i think they had missing posters for the three actors they had the whole marketing of it was incredible it was very very clever and also it's a really really great film and also yeah if if art, I suppose, is supposed to provoke.

26:29And it's incredible. And it's sort of, I think it wasn't literally the first film to do that kind of. Operation Good Guys. Operation Good Guys, of course, did come first. That's always what happens when I have a conversation with someone about the office. I know they're like Operation Good Guys. They're like Operation Good Guys. Yeah. And there was, yeah, yeah. But,

26:52yeah, it's, But it really, really did kind of push things forward in that respect. They had, they said, I was reading an interview with the two directors and they said that at one point, a member of the police who'd used to serve in that area got in touch with them to be like, do you want some help with the investigation? And it was like, so, and they were like, uh, what are we doing? but it was it was genuine it was amazing and um the actors were i feel a bit sorry for the actors as well because they made them shoot it themselves as well so everything in that film is shot by the three actors and there were times where the directors were saying yeah we just wouldn't give them you know they they'd be times where the rest of the crew were like having dinner and what are the actors doing they're like we don't know they're in the forest but they but But they've probably found those models that we've made.

27:46Because they would wake up in the morning and they wouldn't, and the directors would have just hung those stick things around the tent to just completely freak them out. Right. As an actor, that sounds horrible. Yeah. That sounds absolutely horrible. But whatever they did, whatever the process was, like it completely worked. They just sailed on the right side of, are you actually maybe mistreating these people a bit? But actually, I mean, the advert that they initially put in to audition for it, it was like very, very challenging. I would just say in hindsight that it was worth it. If I was an actor in that film, I'd go, this is absolutely worth it.

28:35And they're all amazing at it. And that's what I'm saying. like when when that when was that 98 1999 99 when that came out it was it's it's easy now 25 26 years later to sort of maybe go oh yeah they all do that I mean I've been in a found footage horror film right I forgot that I've been in one it's now to the point where we're just forgetting we've been in them you're you listening 50 % of you have probably been in one yeah already Yeah. Cast your mind back and you'll be like, oh yeah. I think it's just easy to not appreciate how groundbreaking that film was. Yeah, absolutely. And I would suggest, I don't know what the certificate of, the age certificate of Blair Witch Project is, but if you are 15, 16, 17.

29:31Yeah. It's a 15. It's a 15. It's a 15. It's amazing. If you are around that age and you've not seen it and you don't know anything about it, go and watch it. Yeah. It's incredible. Yeah. It's so good. It was shot for - And then go and watch The Pyramid afterwards. It's just as good. It's just as good. It's got me running around. Don't watch The Pyramid first because then - No, don't watch The Pyramid first. Your expectations will be so high and then Blair Witch will be a disappointment. But yeah, amazing. Made for like 25 grand or so. It was made for basically the minimum that you can really get anything done for.

30:11That's what's so brilliant about the genre of horror. Yeah, it's brilliant. Is that it's, I genuinely think it really brings out creativity. Yeah. Because usually there isn't a big budget with horror films. Yeah. But they can go on to make more money than other genres. It's absolutely incredible. So, like, the Blair Witch is one of those paranormal activity, the first paranormal activity. Yeah. Absolutely incredible. It's genuinely terrifying. I don't know. Like, how much do they spend on paranormal activity? That would have been the same. Like 60 ,000. Yeah. Basically just allowing for inflation.

30:48It's just basically the same amount. It's basically just no one's really getting paid. Yeah. You're just meeting your overheads. And then it goes on to make like – It was 15 ,000 US dollars. 15 ,000 US dollars. 15 ,000. Yeah. That is amazing. But it's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. And I think I love how horror, I love how horror can do that. It can just make a virtue of scarcity. Yeah. We haven't got anything, but that's why it's so good. Like we haven't even got a witch, but that's why it's so good. No, it's not that so much. It's like, oh, we need the, we need the door to slam here or something like that.

31:26Right. Yeah. And if you were making a Marvel film, a superhero made a door slam, It would just be a mechanical thing or just digitally made, like a CGI thing. Whereas you can imagine them. They go, well, I've got some fish in line. Yeah. But with so little, they create so much. It's really ingenious. So your fact, Joe, is that to keep up the hyper-realism of the Blair Witch Project, in the end credits of the film - In the production credits at Sundance when it first - when it first premiered. They'd written that all the actors are deceased. Deceased or missing. Yeah. Incredible.

32:11Joe Thomas as I Live and Breathe. It is time for fact check. This is where you send in something that feels like a fact to you that you'd like us to confirm. Or not. Yeah, or not, yeah. We'll discuss it. Because we're the authority in that, right? We're the ultimate authority. Yeah. So we'll be reading a fact or a question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of, which we're always doing. Oh, have a minute. And then we're going to have a good thing during the break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us and then decide whether it passes our fact check. Yes. So. I think you've got the fact this week.

32:52I've got the fact check. This week's fact check comes from Rachel. She said, thank you so much for making this podcast. Not only does it make me proper belly laugh, but I'm learning new things. That's not true. Yeah. Is Rachel a real person? Did you write this? This is real. This is real. I'm happy with the idea that she's real. I don't mind if it's really like a chatbot or something. It's fine. My facts check. Eating cheese at night gives you nightmares. The husband is adamant that the above fact is incorrect, even though I'm a massive cheese fan, I'd love to prove him wrong. Thank you again, Rachel.

33:34All right. Well, let's have a quick little break and we'll come back and discuss this further. Yeah.

33:44The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Hey, it's your ceiling vent, so I'm dripping. Could be the rain, could be the upstairs bathroom. Yikes. You could hire the guy your neighbor recommended, but I'm pretty sure that's just his cousin.

34:29Do we know if he's licensed or does he just own a ladder? Listen to your home. Go with Thumbtack. Upload a photo or voice note and we'll diagnose your project and match you with the right pro for the job. Thumbtack. We know homes. Hire the right pro today.

34:50It's a small town, isn't it, Hollywood? and it's it's full okay so we're back we were just talking about Nicholas Cage during the ad break there so um Nicholas if you're listening we want you on the podcast because we think you're fascinating yeah because we've got a couple of your posters on the wall there Con Air Sleepover Classic that one yeah yeah go in a mate's house watch Con Air oh it's an 18 don't tell my mum stick it on Was Conair an 18? Stick it on. I suppose it was. I think it was, actually. I think it's quite violent. Anyway. It doesn't bother me. Conair is a 15. It's a 15. Thank you.

35:32It's a 15. Rachel wants to know whether eating cheese at night gives you nightmares. I'm going, I'm just going straight in for it without even talking to you about it. Yeah, yeah. I'm going with it's true. I well they do say that the gut is the most sexiest of the organs that's right when I see a lady walking down the street with a nice big belly I think yeah imagine the intestines it's the most erotic it's definitely the most erotic but I think don't they say that what what's the word i'm looking for it's the most underrated organ underrated doesn't get enough well i think as in like people are like you know you don't get enough respect the gut like if you feel like we've we've we've if you are feeling stressed people you know a lot of people are like oh it must be in my head it must be you are what you eat people say that a lot yeah you are what you eat what you're putting into your body yeah is what is so it will be the result of Yeah, exactly.

36:41So there is a connection between the gut and the brain. Yeah. I think that – well, I feel like your diet affects your mind, doesn't it? It must do. And if you were – we've all had times where we maybe haven't – well, maybe that's more if we're just ill. But like what you're putting into your body is going to affect your mental state. Yeah. I think I'm going to say that this is, I think, basically...

37:14Am I, though? I'm saying... You're saying yes. I don't know why they're eating... But why cheese? Why would it be cheese? I don't know. Is it just because... The chemical compound of cheese? Dairy? I've had a lot... If you're finding it hard to digest... I suppose what you're saying is, if it's hard to digest... Humans maybe aren't really designed to digest cow's milk. Although, weirdly, cheese and butter, apparently, are better for you than just drinking milk. So maybe it's milk that if you just have... Imagine the nightmares then. But I... You just mainline some milk before you go to bed. Okay, what I'm going to say is...

37:48Get a milk IV. Yeah. This is what... Is that what you're suggesting? What I'm going to say is Rachel is... Okay, I'm actually going to zoom in on this bit. I'm a massive cheese fan. Yeah. That's what Rachel said. She's a big cheese fan. She's clearly a cheese fan. She's clearly having nightmares. Yeah. Ergo, cheese gives you nightmares. Yeah. Done. I've had a late night pizza. Nightmares? And I've had weird dreams. We used to get a little Domino's, didn't we, when we were doing series two of the in-between? I say a little Domino's, an enormous pizza. And then just for no reason, we get like a litre bottle of Coke each.

38:19Yeah. And we just drink all that. No, because it came with the meal deal or something like that. Have I already said this about the tip? When I left the tip, the non-tip, I can't remember whether I've said this. I remember we were in the hotel room and you know when the pizza's like... This is when we all just sat on a bed, didn't we? Yeah, yeah. Like the football would be on a match. Yeah, and I remember another thing about this hotel room, which was... But I'll come to that. But like we... You know when the pizza's like 37 pounds? Yeah. And you give him 40 and go, keep the change. Keep the change.

38:50There was one day where it was 43. Yeah. And I just got a bit muddled and I gave him 40 and went, there you go, that's 40. I went, there you go, that's 40. And just closed the door. that's how it works that's how it works well you got the extra three last time and then you had to say to me you know what you just did I was like what and you were like well you just didn't give him enough money I was like oh he's gone now but like because I was confident because it hadn't occurred to me he was yeah he was just like that is how it works sometimes yeah I know you just do it confidently you win some you lose some yeah and but the but imagine that like you're you're like working for dominoes or something and the four in between us boys are just i know talking constantly talking over each other in a hotel room yeah so if you do go yeah simon from the in between has gone there you go that's 40 he probably was just like so freaked out anyway yeah yeah it was like it was weird but the other thing i mean i don't know whether i can um but i'll come back to this let's finish let's finish the fat check so the fat check is i think we're gonna say yes because i think rachel you know she's she's done the research effectively she's clearly having nightmares she's clearly eating cheese she wants that to continue so i say who am i to tell you that your experience is not valid she would know better than her she knows she literally says that she's a massive cheese fan yeah does the husband eat cheese do you want to know what's a weird fact about me yes and to do with cheese yes i don't like cheese unless it's melted okay what's that all about if you gave me like a cheese and ham sandwich yeah i'd go oh no thank you if you gave me a cheese and ham toasty i'd go amazing i think it does slightly change taste when it's melted it becomes i think some of the sourness goes out right i don't know why okay okay um so we're getting lily may yeah we're saying that we say the fact is correct We're saying that's a fact.

40:50And now we have had some comments that have said they would like to know whether it really is true or not. See, this is where I don't know. And so Lily May does know the answer, and it's about are we going to get the answer from her now or are we going to choose to remain in our palace of ignorance? Is it okay for us to just decide that it's fact or not? Because that's what this podcast is. Or is it really so unsatisfying to the listener? honestly i'm so paranoid about the comments i think we're gonna have to i think we're gonna so paranoid i think you know you've changed your shoes today because yeah i know you felt bullied wearing your old trainers speaking of the comments sorry the the trainers were like i don't know i mean yeah i didn't i didn't realize we were such a shallow group of people but yeah so yeah yeah i was yes they were a bit threadbare is that a crime apparently it is you won't see them again and I'm very sorry that you had to look at them and I will be honest Joe right you have put some shoes on yeah they also do look a bit knackered they're not knackered these are alright the lace broke actually to be fair I don't know they need re-soled can you see that don't they need re-soled no your soul's coming through we're seeing the other layer of your soul and the shit on the bottom there.

42:16You don't look at them. I'll get you some new shoes. We'll tell you about shoe shopping later. All right. Do you want to know the fact? Do we want to know? Do we want to know? I sort of do. I think I think for today let's let's try let's see what it feels like if we find out. Let's see if we feel better or not. Or do you want to not find out? Only if I'm right. Okay. so no because I know what's going to happen because Elie Mae has got a laptop in front of her she's going to get the actual and he's going to say there is actually no proof but anecdotal evidence says otherwise that's how I feel exactly I've got a laptop in front of me as well and Rachel says that she's eating a lot of cheese and she's having crippling nightmares and she wants that to continue and I don't know why we have to kind of listen let's just do it eating cheese at night gives you nightmares.

43:14Fact. Right. We're not going to Lily May. Fab. Sorry. That's all right. Can we do it? We fought for women's rights. No, I was just going to, I was going to just say, can I, can I find out if it's true or not? No, I don't think we can know. I don't think we can know. I do want to know. You can't. This is going to kill me. This is going to niggle me like a loose tooth. Well, what you need to do is you need to start eating cheese unmelted. Okay. Go to sleep. See what happens. If there's something that you'd like us to fact check, head to our episode's description for all the ways to get in touch.

43:54Lovely. I sort of went arm over that. Do you want to do it again? That's fine. The people are used to it now. Okay, fine. Right. Right. It's my turn to give you a fact, Joe. What spooky fact have you got for us, James? I panicked. Go on. I've got two little facts and then a story. Okay. That's great. Because it's Halloween, I thought I'd give you a spooky story. I'll tell you what. It's a true story, by the way. It is all about the stories. I was interested about how other countries celebrate Halloween and if they do anything odd. This is interesting. I don't know why you're feeling in some way bad at it.

44:31I've got a couple here for you. This seems interesting. In Austria, they leave out bread and water for ghosts. Hmm. Right. Austrians sometimes leave out bread and water and a lit lamp on Halloween night. The idea is to welcome dead souls visiting Earth. Interesting. Interesting. Bread and water and a lit lamp. Yeah. It's not like, it's not a feast, is it? I mean, bread, like. I'd be a bit gutted. I'd be a bit annoyed. I've crossed the divide between dead and living. And in return, I get some water. Some bread and water. It's like prisoner's food. It is prisoner's food. Is it deliberately? Water.

45:13I would have thought that one of the advantages of being a ghost is you don't really need to eat or drink. Yeah. And a lit lamp. You just exist. Well, it's nice. It's a kind of – it has a sort of modest beauty, this image of the bread, the water, and the lamp. And I, for one, think that that presents quite a charming tableau. Thanks for that, Joe. Okay. Have you got... I've never... Joe said tablo. Anyway. Tablo. In Japan, they have the Kawasaki. Yeah. Other motorbike manufacturers are available. The Kawasaki Halloween Parade. It's Japan's biggest Halloween celebration. It has over 4 ,000 costumed participants, but you have to apply it months in advance to join.

46:03No costume, no entry. Okay. It is described as the Met Gala of Halloween parades. So I've never heard of that. So I guess it's like the sort of carnival of Japan. 4 ,000 participants. Yeah. Sponsored by Kawasaki. Sponsored by Kawasaki. Always? Is that just like sort of - It's called the Kawasaki Halloween parade. Is that just like the Worthington Cup where it's just their sponsor and so - The Worthington Cup. Does it just - Do you call it the Worthington Cup? It was the Coca-Cola cup when I was... And then you get people going, it's the milk cup. The milk cup. How can milk sponsor something? Milk's not a company.

46:44I know. It's just milk. What, cows? It's like the Trees cup. Yeah. This is brought to you by Trees. That's my little fact for you. But also I've got a little story for you. Yeah, yeah. A little story for you. The only thing I'm confused about this story is how old the bloke is. Okay. I'm just like, really? I'm sure that'll turn out to be a minor detail. No, it just sort of makes it a little bit... I don't know why, but when I read the story, that's the weirdest thing that I took from it. Okay. How old he is? How old is he? 8 ,000? No. Okay. Giles Corey. Eh! I don't know why I laughed at that. Giles Corey.

47:28I'll begin. Giles Corey. This is during the Salem... That's what I probably should mention. Okay. Now it's making sense. The Salem witch trial things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Giles Corey was an 81-year-old farmer. Okay. How much farming is he getting done? Is that your question? Yeah, well, that just stuck with me. Yeah. When I was reading this story, I was like, he's 81. Tilling your own fields, are you, Giles? Giles Corey was... Or is your grandson doing it? We're getting told off for this. Let me do my story. Giles Corey was an 81-year-old farmer, gruff, stubborn, and a bit of a local troublemaker.

48:04So, do you know what I mean? I was like, how much trouble is an 81-year-old? This is meant to be quite spooky, so I think... This is spooky, sorry. Sorry, I'm brewing in there. He'd been fined before for fights and disputes, but nothing that hinted at witchcraft until the hysteria hit. When his wife, Martha Corey, was accused of being a witch, Giles stood by her at first. But when he publicly questioned the court's logic, the afflictive girls afflicted girls sorry in quotation marks turned on him too so for some reason he was trying to stick up for witches and the the afflicted girls that's what they called it yeah had a problem with him and suddenly Giles Corey was branded a witch now I'm not 100 % sure what happened but he stood by his wife and it yeah and then they turned on him then the afflicted okay So during his interrogation, he refused to enter a plea.

49:08Not guilty. Guilty, not guilty, nothing. He refused to enter a plea because he was all about the logic of the courts. He'd seen what had happened to others. Confess and die, deny it, and still die. But if he said nothing, his property couldn't be taken by the court, meaning it would go to his sons instead of the colony. so Giles chose silence and silence became his weapon interesting that's it that's good no it's okay so his property he neither denied or confirmed that he was a witch and because he didn't put in a plea okay okay so how on because he knew he knew at the time it was like well if you're going to get accused of being a witch then you're fucked if you say you're a witch there's no winning there well it's that thing isn't it where you go, I'm not a witch, and they go, that's what a witch would say.

50:04That's exactly what a witch would say. So what can you do? I think a witch was just a code for, like, a woman that, like, had an opinion. I think that's basically correct. That's sort of what they did. I went to see a horror film once, and it was like, oh, centuries ago, they hanged a local woman as a witch, and now the area is cursed. And I thought the denouement was going to be, she wasn't a witch because there's no such thing as witches. They just hanged an innocent woman and now she's haunting them. Yeah. Not at all. The denouement was. What do you keep saying there? Denouement. Sorry. As in, as in the kind of the bit where you kind of realize, realize what's, what's.

50:48You said it once. So yeah. Yeah. And I was like, I must just stop listening. The ending. Because you said a word there. It's kind of the ending or the bit where, the bit where all the threads come together. Yeah. So I thought, you can say premise. Premise. Well, it's not really the premise because the premise, it's more like it's the bit where the, it's the bit where the premise is, it's the bit where everything comes together. Sorry. So basically. The denouement. The denouement. I thought, I thought it was going to be the, this, this lady who hadn't done anything was wrongly hanged and now was sort of justifiably haunting them.

51:20For, for revenge. And it wasn't that at all. It was like, no, she was a witch. Right. And now she's back. Well. And it was like, well, hang on a minute. We did a similar thing in the Inbetweeners. Yeah. Because there was always like those rumours when you were at school. Yeah. You know, there was, you know, oh, that teacher is a pedo. Oh, yeah. And that was what the whole episode was of the Inbetweeners. Yeah, it was like, of course, he's not really a pedophile. Obviously, he's not a pedophile. Your kids are just calling him a pedophile. Yeah, yeah. Turns out, the teacher that we did keep calling him a pedophile in Inbetweeners was just a pedophile.

51:53And still to this day, I go, where's the joke? Like, where is the joke there? Because I thought it was like rumours around school that everyone says. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. They're definitely not true. Yeah, yeah. You know. And it was like, oh, that teacher's Bedo. But then in our episode of The Inbetweeners, like that teacher, what's he called? Peter Kennedy. Peter Kennedy. He ends up like. They should have known with that when he applied. Wait a minute. Okay, so thanks for coming in. He starts stroking Neil's legs and making sure he's tucked in at night. Oh, the joke is that he's a bit of a fault.

52:26Yeah, no, we flipped on that. It was in the end. So it was that sort of thing? Yeah, it was. On that note, should we say goodbye? I'm all fact out, Joe. I'm all fact out. What have we learned today? We have learned that in the premier screening at the Sundance Festival, with the Blair Witch Project, to keep authenticity. Yeah. The credits, when they rolled the credits, they wrote that all the actors were either deceased or missing. Yeah. And we've also learned that Australians leave out bread and water for ghosts on Halloween. Was it Austria? Austria. What did I say? Australians. How did I say Australians?

53:05Doesn't matter. Also, I don't think it was... Literally a joke from Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. Oh, no. Also, I don't think it was when they rolled the credits. It was more like when they submitted the documents for them. but it might have been because in the end because with credits you don't actually put like still alive. We hope that you've learned something or had a nice time but we'll be back next week with some more facts, chats and vampire bats. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you would like us to fact check something for you. Just a little recap there. Eating cheese before bed does give you nightmares.

53:39Fact. That is a fact. Email us. Hello at joeandjamespod.com or you can send us a WhatsApp. Have we had any WhatsApps yet? Loads. Have we had any voice notes? Yes. I'd like to encourage that. I think voice notes are funnier for some reason. Yep. Our WhatsApp number is 07822034330. And you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod. And if you've forgotten that, just all that information is in the podcast description. Thank you, Joe. Thank you, James. And thank you, Lily May. You're welcome. And we'll see you all next week. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.

54:27The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be. So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear? I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to. I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success. Listening is a form of love. Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org. That's SoundItOutTogether.org. Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal. Thumbtack presents Tile Trouble. Every single time I use my sink, I make eye contact with the uneven grout on my kitchen backsplash.

55:06The crooked corners eye me and I'm haunted by more tiling questions than I thought possible. What kind of pro can fix a backsplash? Can I replace one cracked tile or should I replace them all? What? What if I just use Thumbtack? I can hire top-rated pros, read reviews, and compare prices with a tap. All on the app. Thumbtack knows homes. Download the app today. A-Cast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show we recommend. You want to believe you're safe in the heartland. And it just changed. On the Murder in the Heartland podcast from ID, We'll examine true stories that happened in a town a lot like yours.

55:44I regret not telling the police. I knew who did it. I wanted the person to pay for what they had done to her. There was a sense of bloodthirst. We have to get revenge. Listen to Murder in the Heartland, wherever you get your podcasts. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.