Which Tech Bro Could James Take?

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2:03James, did you see all those comments on the, not today's episode, but the week before, I think it's episode 20. Do you know when you said you could be up Zuckerberg? Yeah. Everyone said he'd bat you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? yeah yeah i did yeah no i do want to write to reply to yeah i think we should i do want to write did you see those comments joe um no i didn't see them what did i say exactly because i can't remember exactly what i said i think you said sort of out of all the tech bros you think that zuckerberg's the one you could you could take yeah and if he was sort of giving your jip you wouldn't mind yeah i stand by that there was a lot of people like he's been training jujitsu for right so what like he's gonna cuddle me and pull me down to the ground also there is this thing right there is a there is listen there is a class thing right i did i grew up where i grew up with the people i grew up with i'm not saying i'm a tough guy at all whatsoever because i'm definitely not compared to all the people i know in my life i'm the weakest out of all of them but You're probably more streetwise than, say, me.

3:14I mean, many, many are. Possibly, yeah. But I don't give a fuck how many jiu-jitsu lessons Zuckerberg has had. Do you know what I mean? And can I also say, the clue is in the word lessons. But also, I don't think that lessons is not hard. Exactly. Also, I don't think that's something to be proud of. I don't think that's a bar to be like, oh, well, he's tough. I wouldn't mess with him. He could probably knock out Mark Zuckerberg. I am saying I am not tough at all whatsoever I still fancy my chances against Zuckerberg very confidently I don't think the geezers had a punch to the face when you've been on the wrong end of an arse kicking as much as I have it does sort of you know I reckon one bop to that bloke's head straight in the nose he wouldn't know what day of the week it was he'd be like oh no I've not been in this situation before and that's it I'm not saying I'm a tough guy.

4:11I'm just from where I'm from. I've been beaten up enough times to know, do you know what? I'd rather, if I was given a choice, I'll go, I'll go, yeah, and I'll take Zuckerberg. What's the Mike Tyson quote? Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face. Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face. That is true. This reference to his lessons puts me in mind of that quote. That is true. Everyone's had lessons until they come up against Buckley. Maybe we should have brought this up in the last episode where I was bragging about my Irish heritage. There was a really great story about my granddad Paddy, who was shorter than me.

4:50He wasn't a tall guy. He must have been about five foot eight if he was lucky. And he spent a lot of time. He married an English woman and spent a lot of time of his life in Ireland. then in London working then back in Ireland it's a whole complicated thing my lineage to be honest with you like my past story like because my dad's English but he also grew up in Ireland like there's a I don't know do you know what I've not even asked questions I've just been like right sure it's like the history of a family that's trying to sort of lose a trail or something it's a little bit yeah sure yeah yeah like my cousins my cousins who grew up in England they've got Dublin in their passport and stuff like that Because that's where they were born.

5:36But I've never bothered really sort of tugging at that thread. But there's a really good story. Grandad Paddy was in a pub in Ireland where they felt that his accent had become a bit English. Oh, okay. And I'll be honest with you, for the first sort of eight or nine years of my life, I found it really difficult understanding what he was talking to me about. Because it was so Irish. He was very Irish to me, to my ear. Yeah. But apparently when he went back to Ireland, he sounded very English. They were like, oh, hello. Yeah, so he got a bit of stick for that. And there was one great big bloke giving him stick all night long.

6:18Yeah. And he put his pint down, turned around, smacked him in the face, and he went down. And that was like, like you say, everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the face. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Joe do you reckon you could take Zuckerberg or any of the other tech girls? Joe could take Zuckerberg Joe's a maniac by the way Joe's a maniac, we used to talk about stuff on the Inbetweeners set where we were like who do you reckon is the hardest out of us four, imagine that conversation and we were all like Joe's insane Joe's terrifying I'm quite determined I think that unless there's something about I've heard about this jiu-jitsu stuff.

7:03What? Who cares? What are you talking about? No, I think you'd scratch and just go mental Joe. I think you'd just go mental Joe. I think if it got to the point where we were fighting, I'd be so well-motivated for that fight. I remember when we were making the first series, like we all got on well straight away and I really liked you and compared to me you were quite posh. I don't, again, I don't think that's anything to brag about. And I described you as, I remember talking to you, I was like, Joe, do you know what you remind me of? You remind me, right, of those officers in the trenches in World War I that have probably got their, I don't know, commission or their stripes because they were sort of quite well-bred.

7:57Yeah. But I would still follow you. I know you'd be the first over the top. I know you'd get your little revolver out and listen to the whistles and just go, right, men, come on, follow me. So even though you were quite posh, I was just like, I still think you'd get your hands dirty. I still think you'd get involved. Well, I think I do have quite a strong sense of duty. So if I'd been ordered to attack something. You reminded me of George from Blackadder Goes Forth. Yes. Yeah. This idea of like, oh, he's hard now. It just makes me think of David Brent. Yeah. Against Karate. Just makes me think of that.

8:36Yeah. And it's, you know, let's be honest. It's like, it's a nerd who's never been hard. And he's now like, I've got some money now. So I'll try and buy the stuff I didn't have. Yeah. I'll tell you what those things were. hard cool popularity access to photos of girls are you going to set up an entire company just so you can see pictures of girls yes yeah I am so yeah those of you in the comments I'm not proclaiming because I don't want to fucking start something here at all I am trying to start something no I don't mind starting something with Zuckerberg at all I just don't want to start like that I'm trying to sort of tell people I'm tough or anything.

9:23I'm not. That's clear. We're all very aware of that. I'm not trying to be anything I'm not. One of the ways of signaling that we're not tough is by saying, if for us to beat somebody up, that person would have to be so utterly feeble that we're talking about sort of Mark Zuckerberg characters. That's it. That's all we're saying. Yeah. And if you're commenting, congratulations, you could take him as well. I don't think there's anyone else that couldn't. take Zuckerberg. I just... My wife is... I think she's five foot. She'd knock the fuck out of him. Yeah. Yeah. And, yeah, as for this... This kind of...

10:05I don't know, these kind of hype men. I think they're either Zuckerberg bots. They sound like bots to me. And also, do you know what? Do you know what's worse than being weak and feeble Zuckerberg? sucking up to him I know I mean yeah oh no oh I reckon you could take him Mark you did all that jujitsu yeah it's really come on get a grip of yourself it's not a good look get out of Zuckerberg's arse just looking at a picture though he's quite rich these days oh whatever it doesn't matter so he's got a nutritionist or something yeah exactly whatever I'm not impressed by shopping it doesn't matter it's shopping if you're rich every activity is just shopping I do genuinely think if you're rich and you're thin what happened is you went shopping for I'd like to be thin I'm just not impressed by it I do genuinely think there is that like if you if you grew up in the ends do you know what I mean yeah to just sort of going to Harvard and then getting fit like I do like I was born into this Zuckerberg alright come down here come down here join me down here come down here see how you get on see how you'd survive you wouldn't last two seconds Joe and James Joe and James Joe and James Joe and James It's fucked up again Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James Joe and James, fucked up Joe I don't know about you mate but I fancy doing a little podcast Let's do a little pod I fancy doing a little podcast Which one do you want to do?

11:37We'll do this The Ant and Dec one I had a little go at that last time didn't I? Wasn't convincing Should we do the Ant and Dec one? I've not listened to it I'm not good at pranks no what I mean is I try to do the tea thing I've not listened to the Ant and Dec podcast I will just say this though right the reason I'm doing a podcast is because I can't get on fucking television okay because there's people like Ant and Dec that take up all the television time yeah so I'll go alright I'll go and do my little podcast then and I'll keep myself to myself now they're doing a fucking podcast as well greedy little jewelly bastards it does remind me a little bit of it's a sort of it's a sort of landlords actually when the British were in Scotland like they took all the they took where the English were in Scotland yeah well they're gonna what do you want do you want to have sex with my wife it does feel a bit like that it's like honestly so there's bits of Scotland where like the English were there and they'd taken all the good land and the sort of native Scots couldn't do anything so they had to basically go down onto the foreshore and collect seaweed and make stuff out of the seaweed but the seaweed stuff started becoming quite profitable and then the English were like oh we do oh no that's ours as well yeah thanks And that's what it feels like.

12:46And, you know, what's that film with Mel Gibson? And it's like that, isn't it? Where they've got his arse out. Yeah. So it's like that, you know, we moon you, Ant and Dec. Absolutely. We moon you and don't you moon us. Could you Dec, Ant and Dec? Well, this is interesting because there was. Well, that's the thing. Would it be a paintball thing? That's the thing. Because I know that at least one of them is very vicious when it comes to, and someone was blinded. I saw that when I was a kid and I thought it was PJ and Duncan and I remember the transition from PJ and Duncan to Anton Deck I remember that happening and for a while they were trying to get people to call them Anton Deck and they've you know fair play they've done that they've achieved that but that because it was a sort of cautionary tale on Biker Grove but I thought the cautionary tale was don't get involved in this new trend called paintballing so I thought paintballing was like glue sniffing I thought it was like it's something that all kids are doing they think it's cool but is this cool?

13:45Is this cool, kids? He can't even sing anymore. Am I cool? Yeah, I honestly thought, yeah, yes, exactly. I thought it was that. I thought it was like, don't get involved in paintboarding. I thought the paintboarding was like, it was like we've closed, the police have seized packages of paintballs that were coming over in a shipping container bound for a forest in Thetford. Luckily, they will now not be used. On the nine o 'clock news, We had another update on the paintballing incident. Yeah, the paintballing incident. That's honestly what I thought it was. I thought that the Geordies had invented paintballing.

14:21And it was this thing that was going on out there. And we had to put a stop to it. Actually, it was just don't take your mask off or whatever. I would just like to say that I like Ant and Dec. I like him as well. And I love seeing him on my TV. And fair enough. On TV. Fair enough. Yeah. You've done very well. Yeah. Can you just let us lot who've been elbowed out of the TV game have our little podcast corner? That's all we want. That's all we want. Don't come down to our little cottage and set the thatched roof on fire and then gallop away. Yeah. I don't think I'd be able to have them, though. No.

14:56They're Geordies, aren't they? That's what I mean. They've lived a bit. Yeah, that's it. They've lived a bit. They're Geordies. Fair enough. So somewhere between Zuckerberg and Anton Deck is your level. It doesn't get much tougher than Geordies. Because they're Geordies. if we fought them would they both have their tops off? I hope so. Well that's what I'm that's what I'm sort of thinking about. That's what I think about. When I'm in bed with my wife that's what I think about. Yeah. Just as a means to an end. Otherwise I'm not going to be able to complete. You've got to do what's necessary to.

15:25I wouldn't have children if I wasn't thinking about Ant and Dec. Well exactly. It's not like it's a means to an end. It's just a means to an end. It's like just do what you've got to do. Exactly. And Who is it that said just lie back and think of Britain? I think it was Queen Victoria. No, I think that's... Ah, here's a little fact up thing for you, Queen Lily May. I think it's a misconception. Apparently, because you know, Queen Victoria was quite stern. And also didn't believe in lesbians. Didn't believe in them? She said it's not possible. She just said it's not possible. What was she doing?

16:02Was she like... Because they just... Yeah, she was like, well, it doesn't make sense. but doesn't make sense apparently because because his fella died didn't he died yeah and she became a right old misery got us after that apparently so get back out there love get back out there I've heard go on exactly well yeah get yourself out there yourself out there I'll take you out come on with me head down to Yates I'll take you out see what the action is soon find you a man apparently that was a misconception and that she wasn't like that And she was quite humorous. And because there was a quote where someone asked her about her wedding night.

16:43Yeah. And she said, oh, I just laid back and thought of England. Okay. Because like sex is so abhorrent. Yeah. But she's actually been quoted saying that she quite enjoys it and doesn't mind having it off. So that's the real quote. Yeah. It said, what do you think your wedding night? She said, I quite enjoyed it. I don't mind having it off. But I think Queen Victoria was all right in the end and she wasn't this sort of serious, miserable woman. But I think she's been painted differently in history. She looks quite... I've actually got a picture of Queen Victoria. Well, there's that picture of her just sort of sat there looking like...

17:20I've got that picture and I like it because it's like, at least I'm in a better mood than she is. And in a way, maybe that was her job. I quite like somebody being like, I'll be the miserable one. Was you looking up some stuff there about Queen Victoria, Lily May? Well, what I actually was doing was looking at who the, quote, Liebacking of England was associated with. And it was actually associated to Lady Hillingdon. Hillingdon? Yeah. Who's that? She was just basically married to a banker and businessman, Charles William Mills. So I think she was... Yeah. Banker. And so I think they were just sort of in high society, and that's where they believed the phrase originally.

18:00But obviously, these things are hard to track. Because, of course, it would make sense for a monarch because you are literally thinking of your country and you're trying to produce an heir. So he's literally, think of the succession. Yeah, apparently it came from a diary entry of hers. Maybe she said, lie back and think of the Bank of England. I don't know why that would... Just think of all the coins. Think of one pound coins. Well, that wouldn't work for him. She's not going to get what she wants out of that situation. I mean, it would work too well for him. I know. He'd be like, oh, well, no.

18:30Oh, God! Oh, no! Government funds! Pound notes! Guineas! Red Needle Street! I don't know. That's stupid. Anyway.

18:48Don't say stupid. No, I know, but... No, because then you've... They know. We would have had about 50 comments then saying how stupid we are, right? But the idea is to let them tell us we're stupid and we get some traction and it becomes a thing online. We're not supposed to call ourselves out. Let other people say we're stupid. We're going to provoke them and then fight back. So, no, we're not. The only thing I've disagreed with is the Zuckerberg thing. Every other criticism that we've had, every other comment of criticism, you go, yes. Anyway, welcome to Joe and James Factor. Hello. this is a podcast where each week we'll be bringing facts to one another the ones that we deem interesting and our policy is the more interesting it is the more true it is we don't verify these facts we'll dig into the weird things that you'd like to think are true but don't want to research in a segment that we call fact check so if you do want to send us your facts our email is hello at joe and james pod.com our whatsapp is 07822 2034 330.

19:50And you can follow us on our socials at Joe and James pod, and you can watch all our episodes in full, in glorious color, in technicolor on YouTube. All you've got to do is search for Joe and James fact up. Now let's get fact up.

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23:12okay we've got some correspondence here joe um you guys have been sending in some fact up stuff for us to discuss and we've got a little message uh from matthew from our backed up form use the form use the form which i don't feel like i talk about enough there is a form how do people get to that form it's in the description there's a link to the form in the description so those who know no nice you go to that form in the description yeah if you want to get into the form club it's in the description on YouTube wherever you listen it'll be in every description you can find it there the form is just it's just like it's the long number on your card and yeah we just need your postcode long number of your debit cards and the security code at the back name of first pet yeah and we just use it yeah and we just and a few things might pop up on your account but like it's just it's fine it'll be stuff that you want to see uh anyway we've had a message from matthew matthew says hi joe and james not a fact more of a question absolutely fine fine my wife asked me the other day do you think more things have been pulled or pushed in the history of the world for example you can push out a shit you can pull on a night out well i know what i've done more in that situation also you can push I know I've done more on a night out also you can push and pull a door think about all the things you push and pull what do you think you have done the most and what has been done most in the world's history definitely pull push

25:00I love a man who knows his mind Push. Definitely push. Definitely push. Definitely push. Push. Because you've got to remember, there was a couple of hundred thousand years before a door was even invented. Yeah, to pull you need a handle. That's pull. I don't know what the difference is anymore. Pull a rope? No, it's definitely push. It's definitely push. You can push a boulder up a hill. Yeah. So you think because pull implies a level of technological advancement, if minor, push. You push. You're always pushing. You're pushing. What are you pushing? This saber-toothed tiger. Or a stone or a rock or something.

25:48Cave paintings? In cave paintings, do you ever see pushing or pulling? Usually just standing around. They're standing around, aren't they? They usually get a yak. Yeah. They liked painting... It's always pictures of yaks. It is, isn't it? They're quite good, aren't they? That's Pilkington. Oh, they're yaks, aren't they? He's always like... What does he say about American buffalo or American bison? Decide what you want to look like. Yeah. Oh, you've seen one. Jesus. Yeah. So, okay, so... Weirdest looking things. They are, yeah. It's definitely push. Well, let's just go through... Let's just, you know, let's go through, you know, our days today.

26:24I'm going for... And then compare it to the life of a caveman and then just come up with our own... Don't talk about the days today. I feel like it's 50-50 today. But... You're saying in history? In history, the door, the hinge of a door... But as Matthew's covered, you can also pull a door. I mean, push a door. Why is it flubbing? I don't know. It's really confused, isn't it? It's the better of us, isn't it? But it is... But the door, what? The door... What are you? 10 ,000 years? I'm being generous there. that the door appeared. But let's just think about the life of a Roman. Let's think about the life of a Roman.

27:01Go on. Yeah, but they had stuff, didn't they? They had a bit of technology. They had ropes. They had things to bind. So we're talking about wine. They'd pull the cork out of the bottle. Yeah. They would... You'd pull a string of a bow. Pull on an oar in their galley. Yeah, yeah.

27:27I'm going a little bit before that. Like when you watch like... But you're saying within humans, you're not talking about like bacteria. I think you said that. The history of the world. The world's history. So by that we mean homo sapiens. I don't think... No, but the history of the world. The history of the world, we're in all sorts of trouble. We're talking about like brachiosauruses. Yeah, I don't think a T-Rex is pulling anything with those arms. Do you know what I mean? But it was pushing out a shit. But it might have pushed some stuff. Yeah, it was pushing out a turd. Well, you're right.

28:01If we look at Jurassic Park... To quote Goldblum, that's a whole lot of shit. That's a big pile of shit. Yeah. You're right. And it pushes the car over a bloody waterfall, actually. It does, yeah. And they're going, oh, no. But it's all right in the end. It is all right. And thank God they can't pull, because... Vision based on movement as well? Although, didn't it pull down the fence once the electric came off? It sort of like put its hand... It kind of went... I know it didn't really... Not it. The Raptors can't... They can open doors. They push them. Well, they did sort of... They did work the handle out.

28:46They pulled on... They pulled... No, it was all pushing. That was all pushing. It was pushing. and then it came in. They pushed the handle down and yeah, in it comes. Horrible thing, isn't it? And they breathed up the glass pain for a bit. Horrible looking crit, isn't it? Oh, don't do it. You did that. Horrible little gang of fucking little raptors. Yeah. Fuck me. Definitely. Nightmares. Definitely pushed. It's definitely pushed, Matthew. It's definitely pushed in the history of the world. I'm still not quite sold on this idea that like pulling is I can't really get it in my head what like can I add something into the mix go on and I don't want to say this but I just think was it Germania no I just think figures wise it might put something you can decide whether you think this counts yeah what about pulling yourself off

29:42because I do think that I think that changes the past well listen if you're just if I'm a cross section yeah of the human race that does tip the scale a little bit That's true. That's true. That's not... Yeah. No, that's true. That's true. I've pulled myself off. More than... A thousand times more than I've had children, at least. Yeah. And also, people were pulling, weren't they? People were still getting off with each other. Even... Yeah, but that's not the physical... That's just... But you can pull on a... But they've included it. Figurative. I'm just... Well, the history of the world. There's more pushing going on than pulling.

30:27The history... It's the world's history. I'm reading what Matthew said. Okay, I know. So pulling off, pulling doors. You can pull on things without them... Is there anything you pull on in nature? No. A vine? But again, like, you go... Then you talk about... You have to then go to the monkey. and in the history of the world, that's still very recent. I don't know what you mean by you then have to go to the monkey. Well, because they're on the vines, aren't they? There was nothing before the monkey that was swinging on vines or pulling them. They're not even pulling them in that sense. So we are literally doing the history of the world as in Big Bang.

31:11It says here, yeah, it says here, do you think, right, here's what Matthew's saying. do you think more things have been pulled or pushed in the history of the world that is a direct quote okay fine so what we're saying is like a big blob of molten whatever it is at the beginning of the world and that's even as soon as that begins to call start the clock who's pushing who's pulling and then we go all the way up till now and for a long time it's just like I would even maybe argue meteorites or something or do you know what I mean that's the Well, they're pushing. But are they being pulled? They're also being pulled.

31:54By our gravity. They're being pulled as much as they're being pushed. Oh, my God. Gravity's pulling us all. Gravity's pulling. Fuck. The continual pulling of gravity since the Earth's formation. There we go. We've got to the bottom of it. We've gone right back to its logical conclusion. If we're saying that in the end, it's everything. Oh, no. Is it pull? No, I was saying push. No, it's got to be pulled. Everything's pulled. Oh, no. No, no. It's all right. But it's all right. Listen, like you approached it as a scientist. You had a dearly treasured. I went where the information took me. And I think it's Paul.

32:30And I think it's Paul. Purely because of gravity. Because of gravity. Yeah. Everything is constantly being pulled. Brilliant answer. We're right now. Everything in this room, everything on this planet is being pulled right now. It's a fabulous answer. Wow. And. God. And a good prompt from Matthew and wife of Matthew. Not named, but... I'm not reading anything into that. I'm just... I'm not saying that he's trying to write her out of history or something. I'm just saying that, like, it's... It's like Curly's wife. She's not named. Me and my wife argue about this all the time. Her name doesn't matter.

33:12I'm not saying there's anything sinister in this or that, you know, know she doesn't have a name or he's had a you know removed from the register or something i'm not saying that but yeah no i was i was pushed but now i think about it we are constantly being pulled all the time otherwise we'd just be floating around wouldn't we we would there'd be no entropy at all and what a fucking state entropy so what is that from something it's from Partridge. Entropy. I think it's when him and Lynn have a little car crash. I might be wrong. That sounds familiar. What's the episode where and Lynn, and he's like, your airbag went off.

33:56You've got minor women's whiplash. Lynn, you've got minor women's whiplash. But I think as they're crashing, he's got his seatbelt and he goes, entropy!

34:12Right. Right. That was a big debate. Thank you very much, Matthew. We went everywhere with that. We went everywhere. It's good. I think we almost went mad, but then we brought it back again. We did. Like Descartes. Is it time for my fact? Yeah. We have been given free reign this week where we don't have a theme. Yeah. And before we started making this podcast properly, I was just jotting down things in my notes on my phone about weird facts. We were doing that a bit as well. That I'd learn about organically. And one of the ones that I wanted to talk to you about was the gay bomb. Yeah. Well, we've touched on this briefly.

34:55Yeah. But it was a genuine thing that the military... I honestly thought it was like in the 60s or the 50s. You know, like the American military went mental, like just after the Second World War. They weren't a bit mental. They were like, we better start giving our soldiers loads of drugs and stuff like that. They did go fucking mental, I think. And they did do really dubious stuff because they were like, well, you've signed up to the army. So that means we now own you. and it doesn't matter what, you know, they were like infecting people with syphilis. Yeah, there was a little bit of too much of their old testing.

35:36Yeah. And sometimes with people who didn't really know they were being tested. No, they didn't know. They had absolutely no idea. One of the things, but I'm going all the way back to 1994 here, Joe. Well, a retro cut. in 1994 like I say I thought this was the 50s or something where they were like maybe we could make oh I see so this stuff was still going on yeah so the idea was essentially was oh if we could drop some or if we could turn the enemy army gay yeah they'd all be so obsessed with getting off of each other that they wouldn't put up much of a fight yeah ludicrous now to think something like that.

36:22Absolutely insane. Well, we were talking about it earlier. It was like, it was like saying men and women can't work in the same, straight men and women can't work in the same office together. It's madness. Because they'll inevitably start having sex. Well, it's like, it's like saying that if a man's gay, he wouldn't, he's not able to have any relationship to another man other than trying to immediately begin having sex with him. That's it. Straight to the bum. Yeah. Yeah. That's what they do. Obviously, we know that that's silly now in 2026 to think that. But back in 1994, we had a different attitude.

36:54Yeah. In 1994, scientists at the Wright Laboratory, part of the U.S. Air Force in Ohio, submitted a proposal for what they called a non-lethal chemical weapon. The idea was to develop a chemical agent that would supposedly make enemy soldiers sexually attracted to each other, disrupt unit cohesion and morale, and reduce combat effectiveness without killing anyone. So their heart was sort of in the right place. It was like... What's a peaceful... Yeah. What's a peaceful way of... The media later dubbed it the gay bomb. It was part of a broader non-lethal weapons study. Yeah. The proposal was included in a report titled Harassing Annoying and Bad Guy Identifying Chemicals.

37:47Is that an acronym of some kind? Harassing Annoying and Bad Guy? No, I don't know what that... The Air Force was exploring unconventional psychological and chemical tactics during the 1990s. Other bizarre ideas in the same report included chemicals that would cause severe bad breath, attract swarms of stinging insects, induce flatulence. I mean... Just be like, oh, they've got wind. I suppose they were just sort of like any because you know like if you're an athlete for example yeah like 1 % can make the difference yeah like if you can get a 1 % edge yeah so they were just sort of like imagine if they were just sort of like really farty that would that would put you off if you're like trying to take a shot and you're like oh god I've got it like I've been in situations where I've been like oh if I could just let this fart go but also if everyone else was farting it would be unpleasant.

38:46Another one was to make skin extremely sensitive to sunlight. So the gay bomb wasn't a standalone project. It was one of many speculative concepts. There was $7.5 million requested in funding over six years to research possible compounds. However, the proposal was never funded. no such weapon was ever developed and it never progressed beyond the proposal stage that we know of oh yeah isn't it that we know of because I've got to say since the 90s there's been a lot more gays Joe there's been a lot more farting there's been so much there's been so much gassy gays going around yeah it's if there's one thing that we can point to but it became public in 2005 when the documents were obtained by a Freedom of Information Act requested by the Sunshine Project, an organisation monitoring biological weapons research.

39:54Well, no, we called it the Sunshine Project. We're all good. It won an IG Nobel Prize. Oh, an IG Nobel Prize. Right. It's the equivalent of a Razzie. Yeah. In 2007, the proposal earned the IG Nobel Prize for Peace, a tongue in cheek award given for unusual or amusing scientific ideas. And then also scientists say it was not scientifically plausible. There's no known chemical that could reliably alter sexual orientation. human attraction is not something that would be triggered in that way and the idea reflected outdated and simplistic assumptions right and i thought that going in when i heard about this thing i did not know that it was going on in the 90s it's extraordinary that it was going in the 90s and i think that's the most interesting part of my fact because i mean yeah because i think as late as that 1994 was the problem is remarkable was the proposal i was that was when definitely maybe came out yeah anyway and if you play that album backwards it says it says it's just a load of fart noises I don't know play it forwards no it's my favourite album it's my favourite album it's my favourite album I love that album from my favourite band so there you go there's your little fact for you Joseph that is very good actually it's a very good fact mental it's insane absolute madness the people like I'm not educated but if I was in charge of the air force or not in charge of it obviously but like was a scientist in the air force say I was a private in the air force and a scientist in the air force came up to me and went we're developing a gay bomb I'd go I don't know mate I don't think that's the way it works it feels like it doesn't it doesn't appear to pass the sort of common sense test just very, very immediately.

42:06Yeah. Right. Let's get into fact check. It's the part of the podcast where we'll be reading a factor question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of. And then we're going to have a little think during the ad break and we'll come back and let you know how true it feels to us to decide whether it passes our fact check. Yeah. This week's fact check comes from Joe. It's another Joe. What's happening now? By the way, so is it only Joes that you're letting through now, Lily May? Just to be funny. There's quite a lot of Joes sending in some interesting fact checks. I've not actually seen as many Joes as I would have liked, so it's nice to see them.

42:51There isn't as many Jameses, actually, no. There's not as many Jameses? I think we've got more Joe listeners than James. I think James might be one of those names that are dying out, I think. Is it a Gary? I don't know why it would be. It doesn't seem to... I don't see many baby Jameses. I don't see many babies, I'll be honest with you. When one of my mates does turn up with a baby or something, I'll go on. I'm only letting the good Joe questions through. It's not just any old Joe. No, of course. Not Joe Public. No. More like Joe Pesci. The standard of... Definitely not Joe Starling. The standard of Joes that we let through to get on is...

43:38The bar's set a lot higher than the presenters of this podcast. Yeah, you can see that there's... Yeah, they have to do a lot more. They have to really impress us. That was it. Because Joe and James fact up was already a concept. and they're like, we're going to have to find a Jo and a James. That's it. And we just sort of slotted into that, didn't we? Yeah, I said there are no other Joes. Don't even look. Just call off the search. Shall I read it, Jo? Do you want to read it? It's up to you. I can read it. Go on, go for it. So, well, I think it's fitting that I should, if you know what I mean, because of...

44:17You've got the same name. Because I've got the same name, yeah. Sure. Okay, so hello, lads. Can you fact check something? my granddad once told me regarding the origin of the single-story house named bungalow. I can already see that this is not true. He told me that some - Well, don't stop. We need to discuss this after. He told me that some builders ran out of bricks halfway through building a house. And when the question, what are we going to do, was asked, one builder replied with, fuck it, let's just bung a low roof on it. my granddad was very sarcastic and full of one-liners so there is a very good chance yeah that this is totally made up but i struggled to think where else the name could have come from either way i'll never forget my granddad telling me oh that's nice we're gonna we so we're gonna get on this case we're gonna have a little ad break and then as soon as we're back i'll talk about uh germanic stuff yeah and um we'll be back with uh the facts

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46:42working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University, set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. Back to school is busy enough. The last thing you need is shopping that makes it harder. Whether you're moving into a dorm, your first apartment, or just getting organized for the semester wayfair makes it easy to get everything you need in one place furniture bedding storage decor study essentials all at prices you'll love with fast shipping before move-in day get everything you need for back to school season shop wayfair.com today wayfair every style every home joe and james fact up all right welcome back to joe and james fact up and we were just fact checking on the behalf of joe not you no another joe who asked why are bungalows called bungalows now he said it was because they ran out of bricks halfway through uh someone said what we're gonna do and a builder replied with fuck it let's just bungalow roof on it yeah i mean i have to say that is straight out of pilkens this is very much of the um was it lego yeah let go let go of that Let go of that, whatever it is.

48:13So, well, I am going to say bungalow. So I don't know what this says about me, but I once spent an afternoon on YouTube. I can't remember the name of the channel it was, but it was someone that has some sort of degree in, not ancient, but the sort of languages, the English language. Okay. Middle English or something. And they I was watching these videos and they would also, they would say oh, this is the phrase what would you like for tea tonight? Yeah. And this is how it would sound. I think the way it was, the concept that was actually presented to me was imagine if you got transported back a thousand years ago yeah and would you be able to communicate yeah it's like chaucerian like we did a bit of chaucer school and it was you know it seemed a long way away from what we would like it it felt like you were almost reading german or something yeah so it was germanic so it was uh so but it was like what would you like for tea tonight and then it was like this is what it would sound like in 1066 for example because we love and it was all like

49:40right and i think that i think that bungalow like sort of sounds like that i just think it's a very ancient word that has carried on. I don't think a builder said, fuck it, let's chuck a let's bung a low roof on it. I mean, it's these builders running out. Builders have got no access to bricks. There's no way they can send away. They ran out of bricks. They ran out. Exactly halfway through. When you build a house, you turn up with everything you need straight away. You put it in a massive pile and then And then if you've even one brick short, if you've even one brick short, you're like, I'm great, there's just a hole in your house.

50:22There's nothing we can do. And then the person that commissioned that house went, what's going on here? I wanted a two-story house. Yeah. No, we ran out of bricks halfway through, so we bungalow the roof on it. Yeah. He went, bungalow? Bungalow? Yeah. But I do think... And what do you call this house? I call it, fuck it, let's just. I call it, fuck it, let's just do this. I don't think it's fact but I am interested to know where the word bungalow comes from because like I say it does sound like when I was watching those videos they did sound like honestly it did sound like they were saying bungalow over and over and over again bungalow bungalow bungalow bungalow bungalow I'm going to proffer that this is perhaps an Indian word like pyjamas and some other ones that I've forgotten.

51:18I think it might be an import from India. That's my guess. Queen Lily May, we throw it over to you. It's not fact up, by the way. We've decided that. It's not true. We should probably say we've had some suggestions if the fact isn't right. Fact off is most popular in our comments section. Well, in the last episode we did about Ireland, one of the things I was looking at was Irish insults and things that maybe aren't insults. So, like, fuck off. Like, if someone says you're in Ireland, it means more like you can't be serious. Like, do you know what I mean? I don't know. Well, it's more casual. Oh, fuck.

52:08Yeah. Fuck off, really. Fuck off. Well, I thought the opposite. that they were so offended by the word fuck, which is why they say the word feck. Ah. Because it was like, sort of, your mammy would... Okay. She wanted to tell you to fuck off, but she wasn't swearing. She was telling you to feck off. Well, that's... I mean, well, there's lots like that, aren't there? There's... Your ma and da. You know, cheese and biscuits that Bluey's dad says. Is one. I don't know, Bluey. Bluey was just that... I know what you're talking about. Bluey wasn't a thing. My kids were just before Bluey. Bluey is a show about...

52:45Is he Australian? It's a show about a family of dogs in which the two dog parents do more good parenting in a seven-minute episode than I manage in an entire week. That makes you feel good, doesn't it? That's what Bluey's about. Is it Australian? Are they Australian dogs? They're Australians, yeah. Yeah. I was watching a video today, actually. Yeah. Like, on the way in, I was just, like, scrolling through Instagram and I watched an Australian tell a crocodile to fuck off. there was some rope in the they were on they're in the sea i think it was a saltwater crocodile and uh they're on the water in a boat and there was two boats connected by a rope and i'm not 100 sure what they were trying to do but they were trying to do something and a crocodile came up and started like nipping at the rope and an australian went oh fuck off i was like that is that's the most australian thing i think i've ever seen in my life telling a crocodile to fuck off like it go no fuck you mate tell me to fuck off but we have had some suggestions if the fact isn't right fact off is most popular no facts given it's quite good it feels complicated that one and unfact which I think is boring sorry so I think we'll have to go you're boring mate you're boring no fact off I think is probably the best one yeah you're boring mate that's what I said did I tell you about that I said that in a road rage incident I was quite like that I said that in a road rage incident I cut someone off right I pulled it out in front of someone I was a little bit absent minded and I was in the wrong yeah and I did I did the thing where I was like, oh, mate, sorry about that.

54:37That was my bad. I wasn't trying to have an argument with someone. So then, this was on the motorway, so then they pulled alongside me and undid their window and started shouting at me. And I was like, I don't want to have an argument. There's no argument here. You were right. I was wrong. There's no argument here. Like, I'm not going to turn around and say to you, because I get that on the other side as well, where someone does something bad to me, and I'm like, oh, fuck off. And then they want to have an argument with me, and I want to go, but you're in the wrong. Like, what do you want from here?

55:10Yeah, I don't know what people think is going to come out of. So this person started shouting at me. We're driving along on the motorway, both windows down, hurling abuse at me, and I just went, you're boring. You're boring, mate. You're boring. I don't know why I said that. That's what I went for. I think it's quite good. Do you want to hear what I think about road rage? I don't think cars should have horns they're never used in a useful but they're never useful they're only ever used to express anger like you might as well have a button that just goes fuck fuck fuck fuck they're never so this is the argument and also sometimes I'm in a traffic jam and like I can't move and then somebody behind me will beat me and I'm like what what I can't do anything but sometimes they're like if someone's just fucking not paying attention or whatever at a green light and you're behind them.

56:03I know, but I've never... So I think we should be able to have a little polite option. There should be a polite version of the hall. A little beep-beep. I'm not having a go. It is green light. I don't want to get into a thing. I'm not aggressively beeping. I agree. But I'm just saying, wake up a little bit. There should be a polite beep. Yeah. Like that, the beep to me, because also I just instantly panic. You can't tell where it's coming from or where it's going to. Beep anxiety. But it honestly is okay for you. That's from Larry David. That's from Kobe Reducism. But that's what I think. Like if I'm in a big, I always assume they're booping at me, by the way.

56:38There could be like 20 cars and obviously they're booping at me. Yeah. And every other person who is of my disposition is also thinking the same thing. And probably the person who's actually doing something wrong is so like arrogant and entitled that they don't think it's them anyway. I do find it pointless. I just feel like it's... Driving can be a bit of an anxious thing, can't it? Like I've got a problem with, apparently the technology of the siren because you remember it used to be Neenor Neenor but you can't tell where it's coming from but now it's like all these weird fucking Star Wars noises so that you can you can tell where it is yeah apparently you are I hear that I'm looking in front of me I'm looking in my rear view mirror I'm going where the fuck is that siren coming from because I don't know where I'm going to have to move on I don't think the siren this whole thing where you're supposed to tell where the siren's coming from I don't think it's working Well, the horn is basically just giving normal people a form of siren that they don't need.

57:36They get like, yeah, a member of the emergency services has some kind of right to disrupt and make anxious people who haven't done anything. They're trying to get through. Just a regular person doesn't have any right to kind of start making somebody go, what the fuck is it? Like, you just, you shouldn't be allowed to just do that to another person. Well, do you know what, Joe? I think you should go back to Soviet Russia. Yeah. No, you're right. Freedom of speech, baby. No, it is. If I want to toot my horn. No, it's true. And if you don't like it, then you can fuck off. No, it's true, actually.

58:08Freedom of speech. Without horns, you wouldn't have the Beatles. Exactly. We wouldn't have the Senate. Yeah, exactly. What was it? So, yeah, Queen Lily Mae, where does Bungalow come from? We decided it's fact off. It's fact off. If it's not true, it's fact off. And this one is fact off. Great. Can you make a note of that and remind us that when it's not fact, it is officially fact-off? Yeah, okay, brilliant. I will make a note of that. That was the most popular. Well, I suppose also it means that we're a bit fact-off with it because we like facts. Yeah. No, because I don't want to put people off.

58:46Okay, no, we're not fact-off. I don't want to discourage people. Actually, I know I like... And also, I'd like... It's very honest. That was a very honest... He was like, listen, I don't know if it's true. Something my granddad used to say. And he used to be quite sarcastic anyway. and I want those messages to keep coming I don't want to put people off and of course I do have a feeling that

59:06the grandad I think probably also he might have he might have known he might have been in on this one yeah that is the fun thing about children you can get them they are little idiots you can tell them all sorts I remember for a while I was trying to convince my eldest son Harrison that was a bank robber because I was like you know how like you go to school and the other like dads like they go to work every day and stuff and like I'm at home quite a lot but then sometimes I go like I disappear for a couple of months because I'm going to work or something like yeah and that's because I'm bank robbing yeah yeah and during that period of time like a bank robbery does happen somewhere when I was at school there was a boy who told everyone that his his dad was going to be playing Luigi in the new Super Mario Brothers film.

1:00:00Because he looked a bit like him. That's good. Shall I tell you what I've done? Queen Lily May, where does bungalow, where does that word come from? So, Joe, you were getting pretty hot. It's a Bengali word. And it basically, let me look at the exact translation, but it comes from Bangladesh. and it derives from a Hindi word for Bangla and basically it just means belonging to Bengal which obviously was back then but now Bangladesh and it basically is just what they had as their traditional low-roofed huts that they lived in. So it's a Bengali house in a sense. But it was the fact that the house belonged to that person.

1:00:49It was their property. and it was known as a bangla brilliant lovely love that well thank you very much Joe for getting in touch with us not you no that's ok I wouldn't thank you for anything

1:01:11but we it was fact offshore but we also got to the bottom we got to the bottom of it and it was quite interesting so that's that I think it's time now for Joe not the Joe that wrote in my Joe it's your fact for the day well my fact for the day and again today is a random episode but we're from Essex aren't we sure I grew up there I wasn't born there well I was born in Chelmsford and did you know that Chelmsford the birthplace of radio birthplace of radio but here's a less auspicious fact about Chelmsford executed somewhere between four and five times as many people for witchcraft as were executed in Salem perhaps the so the most famous witch trials in the world Chelmsford's very much was it hold my beer yeah absolutely yeah And including 15 in one year, there was a particular year where they were, really thought they'd found a lot of witches.

1:02:25I've spoken out for Essex a lot, but this is not Essex's best. I think Matthew Hopkins, the Witchfinder General, lived in Mistley, which is a village. I don't know why it was Essex in particular. Because it was like the whole witchcraft thing. Witches don't exist. No. Right. We know like and I find it difficult to believe that even back then that people for which is existed. But it was just always code for women that were maybe too smart. Yeah, I mean, I don't. I don't know. I mean, I can't work out whether people did really think this stuff or not, because you think. like I think it was just men I'm sure it was that I mean they'd come home from the pub and they'd have a wife they'd go where have you fucking been did it anyway right yeah witch she's a witch no I mean there's no doubt that it's that it's misogyny but I can't work out whether it's purely cynical or whether they there was a kind of supernatural element to it as well um i think it was just misogyny like the more i look into sort of the like people being tried and tried for witches like the whole thing's all just a setup it's like like and the trials would be things like right we're going to dunk you in this water if you drown you're in a and if you survive you're guilty and we'll kill you yeah i mean it's classic well it is the trial is are you a witch and they say no and they go oh well that that's what you would say it's just ridiculous like and i mean yeah it does that is that is essentially the the where where we would get that expression but it was always like a witch hunt it was always like women the um i think there was one story i can't remember the name of it exactly i remember i remember seeing one story and it was a woman that who's uh who was widowed and was basically like well and by the way like until very recent history being a widowed woman was the worst fucking thing you could ever want to be on this planet because you weren't allowed to have property or to own businesses and stuff like that um but she ended up um basically growing vegetables or something like that and they were quite healthy and they had some sort of health benefits and she became quite popular in the community where people were ill and she'd go oh i've got something for that and you can and it was like really really helpful and then she started like making quite a lot of money out of it and that was when it was that tipping point yeah it was when she sort of started becoming self-sufficient and making money and being quite like not even making money but being quite wealthy that people started going well hang on a minute yeah i think that hang on a minute yeah and then she was done for being a witch yeah it's not always helpful to get a bit of wealth in the status because that's when you attract attention and yeah but yeah so that's yeah that's um that's my fact i mean it's a bit of a sad fact but no it's a good one but you know i like the essex facts i'm very six and you know i'm trying to show the the light and the darkness of absolutely and um absolutely the pull and the push yes was that last no that was this episode anyway joe i don't know about you but i am all fact out i'm yeah i mean It barely covers it.

1:06:00What have we learned today? We've learned that... Everything's constantly pulled. Everything's constantly pulled. We've learned that... What was my fact? No, in 1994, they thought that the best hope for peace was to make all soldiers either gay or... Flatulent. Or farty. Yeah. And... They cancelled each other out, Because if you were suddenly attracted to the other soldiers, then you'd be like, oh, but I'll tell you what. That's a bit of an ick. Yeah. I really fancy that fella next to me. He won't stop farting. Yeah. So we've learned that everything's constantly pulled. They tried to make a gay bomb in the 90s in America, by the way.

1:06:48And didn't get funding. And it seems like it didn't get funding because they were like, we can't do it. Do you know what? It's not possible. Yeah. No, I genuinely think it was when it got to the point were trying to get funding that they were like, don't be so fucking stupid. Yeah. Which sort of does give me some hope in humanity a little bit. Yeah. And we've also learned, we learned that bungalows, the name isn't because someone said, fuck it, let's bung a low roof on there. No, that's... And we learned that way more witches were killed in Essex than there were in Salem. Yeah. We hope that you've learned something or had a nice time.

1:07:25We'll be back next week, armed with more facts, chats and fart attacks. And don't forget that you can get in touch with us to fact check something that feels true to you or whatever nonsense you want to tell us. Our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp is 07822034330. And you can follow us on social media at joeandjamespod. And if you've already forgotten everything I just said just then, all that nonsense is in the podcast description. There we go. That's an episode. We're done. We're out of here. See you next week. Bye guys. Bye-bye.

1:08:01Joe and James, Facts Up!

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