You've GOT To Be Careful With Acronyms

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1:15Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. I'm thinking of doing a three-day fast. Are you? Just water. Apparently after two days... You don't feel hungry anymore. You don't feel hungry anymore. Yeah, and then after 40 days you really don't feel hungry anymore. You don't feel sad. You don't feel worried.

1:57Joe and James. Fact up again. Joe and James, Joe and James, Joe and James. Joe and James, fact up. Welcome to Joe and James fact up. Each week we'll be bringing one another a fact that we deem interesting. And our policy is the more interesting it is, the more true it must be. We'll also dig into the weird things that you'd like us to look into that you think that might be true, but you can't be bothered to do the research yourself in a segment that we're calling Fact Check. So if you want to send your facts to us, our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. You can also contact us on WhatsApp. That's cool, isn't it?

2:35It's not a group as well. Some people think it's a WhatsApp group. It's not a WhatsApp group. Can we start a WhatsApp group? I don't think we should. Just let them get on with it? That'd be fucking chaos. Someone's got to moderate that. It'd be like a social experiment. Nah, I think that's fine. It would be like Big Brother when it first came out. Big Brother was so good. Yeah, but it'll just be me watching and it'll be hell. No, but can I? Oh, yeah. How would I be able to watch it without giving anyone my number? Yeah, it's not really doable. Did I give the WhatsApp number, Lily Mae? I think you did, but I don't know if you can do socials.

3:08I'll just go. I'll do the WhatsApp number one more time. 07 822 034 330. Our socials are also Joe and James Pod. Joe and James Pod. Although you're pushing back against the app, aren't you? I'm pushing back against the app. But I think you're a bit early to remove it entirely because it's still... The app for me feels like if someone said to me, oh, check out my website, it's www. Right? Don't worry about the www. The longest letter as well, www. Yeah, yeah. It's so long. Yeah, World Wide Web. World Wide Web. I think World Wide Web is quicker than www. It genuinely is. Don't even get me started on fucking acronyms, genuinely.

3:47if you use an acronym to me that isn't fucking obvious and I mean like BBC level obvious the use of acronyms when you know full well the person you're talking to doesn't know the acronym Are you having a go at Amy from last episode? Oh yeah No that's great No she explained it No I'm talking about if you ring up somebody who's supposed to help you and they go like that's all PRS now mate and you're like you know I don't know what that means PRS that's a guitar make isn't it well I don't know but what I mean is also every acronym is everything because there's not that many letters so every acronym is actually the acronym of like 25 different organisations just don't use them don't use them so yeah so I had never saves time because you have to explain what they mean anyway I used to do and I might bring it back I don't know depends how I feel I'm allowed to do whatever I want you can do whatever you want but I used to I used to make a lot of I used to make a lot of video game content on YouTube yeah and to lean in to the in-betweeners and why people would know me, that sort of thing, and video games.

4:51Yeah. I called my channel Complete It, mate. Yeah. And so for all my sort of like my Xbox account and my PlayStation account and all these things, like if you're playing a game online and you see someone's username. You can see their avatar and their handle. Yeah, their handle, right? That's what it looks like, isn't it? Mine was CIM Buckley, right? And after a little while of doing this, someone pointed out to me that CIM is a sort of shorthand. If you, apparently you can look at porn or something on the internet. I wouldn't know. No, no. Right. But apparently you can. Right. And CIM just means come in mouth.

5:37So, and I'd like, like all my accounts were all CIM buckling. and he was like well like that's it now that's great that's so good and I think it's only until recently because of like security issues and because of like how much time do you need to save if you're looking at porn and I haven't got time CIM CIM CIM now CIM now because you get straight home from work you're just off the train and stuff and you get straight on CIM yeah efficiency oh that's good right it's really going in the mouth oh god almighty straight in the mouth please I mean but yeah you do have to be careful with the old acronyms well that's lovely also I do want to remind you you can't watch full episodes

6:28on YouTube just search for don't search for CIM Buckley that's for sure search for Joe and James Fact Up and the episodes come out on YouTube the same day as they come out on audio so Every Tuesday. Every single Tuesday. So let's get fucked up. We've got some admin here. We've got some correspondence. Jesus, we've got a long one here, which I believe Lily Mays just told me it's to do with the... Well, you said umatic tubes, but we all know they're called the dildo tubes. The dildo tubes, yeah. For want of a better word. It says DadTube I've just given Oh you've done that I give the letters A little name Okay good Does it say who it's from In the end I can't see I'm going to see If I can find it for you now Because I'm just trying to Well by the time I get to the end Of this message I'm sure you'll even know Whether they did leave A name or didn't Anyway They say Whoever they are Hi Jo and James Just been listening To episode 6 Where James reads out A listener story about the old dildo shoot systems.

7:42I felt compelled to share my experience. My son was born through IVF. So tube. Test tube baby. Yep. I had a friend that was a test tube baby. His nickname was test tube baby. And as you can imagine, this process involves producing your sample. Yeah. Yeah. So... I mean, come. I've already said come once on this episode, so we can just, we don't have to beat about the bush anymore, do we? I've already broken that seal. Come on, come on. You said that. Right. So there I was in the hospital's dedicated wank room. Right. So why? Funny to shy away from one and then. So there I was in the hospital's dedicated wank room, a grim little box with a plastic chair, a sink and a suspicious smell.

8:39No, there's no suspicion there. We know what the smell is. It's spunk. After managing to do the deed, I spotted an old pneumatic tube on the wall. Hang on a minute. Is he going to be his knob in it? On the wall. With a sign saying, deposit sample here. It looked dated, sure, but I figured the hospital budget cuts. Like, because you do. Like when you go, so things like hospital, like I mentioned about NASA and the Soviet sort of yeah did I mention that on no I know what you mean or was this a conversation I just had my wife was the pencil yeah the pencil thing right where it's sort of like let's make every penny count and I don't mind that with like hospitals and stuff like that if it works then great if it works keep using it yeah absolutely we don't have to just waste a load of money on like on this side and the other so I get where he's coming from you see a pneumatic drill drill yeah drill yeah If you want it to be.

9:33Yeah, if you like. You seem to like chew. I'll tell you what, right? It's because I've only heard the word drill come after the word pneumatic. That's the thing they do with roads and stuff, right? Yeah. Big old loud. Yeah. Love doing them early in the morning. Oh, get it done early. Anyway, whoever. Simon. Oh, we got the name. Nice one, Lily, mate. Simon was in the wank room. and he so spotted an old pneumatic tube on the wall with a sign saying deposit somewhere looked dated sure but I figured hospital cuts hospital budget cuts I don't even think it's about budget cuts I think it's just about spending sensibly so in goes the pot what?

10:18he took it upon himself to use the tube yeah I wouldn't have done that I would not have felt qualified I would have given it I would have handed it to someone but he's using his initiative yeah um well i suppose it says deposit sample here yeah it's just very obedient it's just a obedient man it shot off up the tube but then there was a jamming noise i could see it stuck no more than six inches up the tube just out of reach i had to walk out and tell the lady at the reception she stared at me and said you were supposed to hand that to me sir those tubes haven't worked since the 90s. Oh, God. In a way, why leave it there with a sign saying deposit sample here then?

11:00Budget cuts. Budget cuts. I would say get a pen. I would have changed the sign. I put the word don't in before the other words. Do you know what? And then, you know, jobs are good and horrible. In Simon's defence here, a bit of sticky tape over the... Yeah. Do you know what? And Simon was trying to not bother the busy NHS, because he knows they're busy. They don't want to answer every fucking question about, like, should you put your spunk in here or should you put it in there? He's going to put it in here. That's it as well. Like Simon and his partner, they're trying to have a kid. That's stressful.

11:32He's trying to do his best. He's asked to fucking come in a cup or whatever he's got to do now. He doesn't want to put more people out. Having a wank in a room that smells of other men's spunk must be fucking out. Yeah, it's terrible. It's just honestly. I can't just do it somewhere else. I can't just go and do it in a private cubit. I mean, that'd be better. I assume it's all got to be fresh, isn't it? Don't they all die within, like, if they just... Can't you just go... I mean, if you need a urine sample, you just go to the toilet. Yeah, but... Is it weird then? I mean, maybe you shouldn't go and wank in a cubicle in a...

12:04It's pretty right. I don't know. But this is what's going through our parents' heads right now. He's not in his right mind, really. He's all over the place. He's trying to do the... He's trying to not bother people any more than he has to. Yeah. And he's getting scolded. You were supposed to hand that to me, sir. Those tubes haven't worked since the 90s. Meanwhile... Why was he supposed to know that? He then goes on to say, Meanwhile, my other half is in theatre waiting for the eggs to be collected. Oh, God. So time is critical at this point. And I've effectively... This is his words. I've effectively yeeted my genetic material into a defunct hospital relic.

12:44That's brilliant. Next thing I know, maintenance are called. I'm standing there like a plonker. Oh, not maintenance. Whilst they're not very successfully trying to fish out my pot of jizz. It's like a bad porn film. It's how they turn up and they're like, oh, you understand you've got a problem with your plumbing. But that's the thing as well. Simon's already there. And I'm trying to... I'm not taking the piss out of Simon at all whatsoever, but he's in a position where he's genuinely probably feeling inadequate. Yeah. Like not doing the thing successfully that you're supposed to be able to...

13:14You're in a vulnerable position. Yeah, like it's awful. You've broken an expensive machine in the 90s with your scum. Yeah. And now... I mean, that's something to brag about, if anything. Yeah, I know, I'll tell you what. The sample was too big. If anything... You got stuck in the tube. Not being funny, Simon, you sound like a fucking legend to me. Yeah. They were like, the tube's always been widened up before. Well, hasn't encountered me before. I hate this sentence. After about 10 minutes, they finally get it out. And he gets rushed off to the lab. I tried to forget about it, but word had clearly spread.

13:48What's going on at this place? There's supposed to be data protection, isn't there? This is such a delicate matter. This is so personal. How's word spread? This is so incredibly personal. Simon, I want to buy you a beer, mate. I've got to take you for a pint. This is unnecessary stress. Yeah. Then finally word gets out and it gets rushed off to the lab. What is spread? I tried to forget about it, but word had clearly spread. every staff member I walked past gave me that look as if to say that's the bloke who got his sperm stuck in the tube. That makes it sound like he'd kind of got it sideways on or something.

14:27It makes it sound like he did what I was talking about. He put his knob in the... Wank up the tube. Long story short, the eggs were fertilised, the cycle worked, my son's here today. Thank fucking God. Because if you had to go through all that... Oh, that is a relief. I realise it's going to be too long to read out this story. No, I read out every single bit, but felt compared to share it. Anyway, great work on the podcast, that's Simon. Simon, thank you very much. That story, right? First of all, I mean... I don't think it is too long, because every bit of it is necessary. Absolutely. The story there, Simon, is absolutely incredible.

15:06It's a great, great anecdote. And also, it's... It has a happy ending. It has two happy endings. It has one happy ending, and then it has another happy ending. with your son being born then there's a bit of confusion and worry and stress it's great and then eventually there is another happy ending it's fantastic and how that is not in a rom-com I don't know but I mean that's that is a sitcom man yeah it's crying out like that's something like if the in-betweeners are middle-aged and that was like that's Will yeah that is what Will would be getting up to yeah it's brilliant I mean it's brilliant thank you thank you so much Simon and good name as well name of course yeah Close to my heart.

15:46Absolutely. Right, Joe, it is time for my fact. Again, it's the thing that fucking stresses me out most in my life. It stresses you out, doesn't it? And it's... Our idea to do a show about facts. Well, it's not going anywhere. Could have done a show about anything. I know. We've gone for this. I really regret it. Yeah. I like it. I like other people's facts, but then when we're... Yeah, I like everything that they do, I really like that. I feel really stressed. But can you believe it is December already? I don't want to be that guy, but that is insane. But yeah, no, it is the start of Advent. So we decided that we were going to do facts about Advent calendars.

16:27When chocolate-filled calendars appeared in the 1950s. Yes. 70-odd years ago. Yeah. Right? And I feel like we're going to go back to this any minute now. Yeah. Some people thought they were too indulgent for the holy season. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Almost blasphemous or something like. If Twitter was around in the 50s, people that had got chocolate calendars would have been cancelled, right, for being too indulgent. Yeah. But now, of course, they're sacred in their own right. I mean, you – It's an interesting thought that if Twitter was around really in any era, it would have been really fucking horrible.

17:10The irony is, right, even though – I'm so good we've got it now. Even though Twitter is around now, I feel like we should be the most liberated and the most sort of, like, come one, come all sort of attitude. Not that again. No, well, steady.

17:30Just don't shove it. As long as you don't stick it in a pneumatic tube, then we're all cool. We're all gravy. That was how I wanted to start my fact, that the 1950s chocolate calendars were poo-pooed. people look their nose down look down their nose at them but of course I knew when I had read that fact that it wasn't going to be good enough so I panicked and I've got I've got at least three extra facts you fact stack this is this is your tactic now you know a guy that I like to bring up every episode these days is is a little guy called Hitler oh Hitler yeah But during World War II, the Nazis banned religious advent calendars and replaced them with winter calendars.

18:18Okay. That featured tanks, soldiers, and Nazi symbols instead of angels or baby Jesus. That does feel like you're doing the wrong thing. Now, that is so Hitler. Yes, it's not. In hindsight, I think there's other things that he did that you could go, that's really Hitler. That wasn't the worst thing he did. No. Yeah. No, it's not. No, it wasn't. It's really down on the list, isn't it? It's a long way down. It's a long way down. But yeah, they were banned. He wasn't into religion, old Hitler. The world's largest advent calendar. I'm just moving on, Joe. No, no. Listen, that's... Here we go. The world's largest advent calendar was a building.

19:02And I feel like, I found this out, but I feel like this is something we should, like I should have remembered. It sounds like Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Yeah, but listen, in 2007, St Pancras Railway Station in London What? turned its 69-foot tall Victorian facade Did it? into an advent calendar with 24 numbered windows. No, it didn't. Officially... I don't think it did. Wow. Well, let me say this next sentence. Officially recognised by Guinness World Records. Well, that has been unbelievably under-promoted. As the world's largest. It's well under-promoted, isn't it? I don't have fucking clue about that.

19:42They need to get in touch with America's PR company. Yeah, we've spoken about America, just the fucking stop sign is world famous. In 2007, where I was definitely. What do we have to do? I was definitely an adult and living my own life. I mean, I was 20. I was definitely going about my stuff. I was out and about. I was always walking past. Did not see this. Dear old St. Pancras. Yeah, King's Cross. like there all the time I fucking live there mate I basically live there did not know about this at all but that's the that's the world's largest advent calendar recognised by Guinness World Records and just a little quick one no go yeah go go go sticking with Guinness World Records the most valuable advent calendar and I think this is cheating I feel like me and you could do this if we wanted to like how this has been given a Guinness World Record like it's true and everything but it's paid to win that's a That's a phrase in video games terms, Joe, that you might not know.

20:36Paid to win. Paid to win. So there's these games that you can play online where you're playing against other people and they'll be free to play. Right. You don't have to pay for this video game. Okay. But maybe if you pay us a bit of money, you get a really good gun or something like that. Oh, okay. Okay. And then it becomes like, well, you're not good at the game. You just paid more money. Yeah. This is going to be like one of those cocktails that's got like gold in it or something. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're almost word for word. According to the Guinness World Records, the most valuable advent calendar was a piece by Octagon Blue GVC, brackets Belgium.

21:12I don't know what that is. Oh, Belgium. Oh, sorry. Yeah, no. Is that also what Belgium's known as? That's the issue I'm saying. That's the official title. Belgium's a nickname. Yeah. And the real name. It's like Netherlands, Holland. Yeah, so if you look at Belgium's passport, It'll actually say like GVC, Capital Blue or something. It was valued at 2.5 million euros, 3.3 million dollars at the time. Yeah. Right. It consisted of 24 glass tubes, each containing packaged diamonds. Who gives a shit? What a load of fucking nonsense. Like, do you, I mean, honestly, get back to the good old King's Cross.

21:53St. Pancras. That's what I say. Which no one. No one knew about it. I think literally no one knows about it. No one knows about it. No one knows about that. But that is a world record. That's an actual world record. Turn a building, turn a fucking massive train station into an advent calendar. Yeah. That everyone, like, if you're on your morning commute and you go through King's Grass and you get to see a new thing every day, absolutely brilliant. Like, just... Just getting a load of diamonds and putting them in a bag. It's like when... That was a world's most expensive bag. It's like old, what's his name, made some soap out of his fat.

22:24It is a bit like that, isn't it? Berlusconi. Berlusconi. Berlusconi, yeah. No one even wanted that. That was the thing. No one even bought that. But there you go. There's my little facts for you, Joe. Yeah, yeah. Hopefully they were interesting enough for you. They were great. I feel like this is me going forward now instead, unless I can really get a really juicy fact. I think you're too down on yourself. I thought they were all really good and stood on their own feet. They were great. As you know me, I had to include the hit, the thing, because I can't go half an hour about talking about Hitler.

22:55Yeah. should we move on to fact check yeah yeah it is time for fact check this is the point of the podcast where you oh god you you can't say that out loud at least it's not at least it's not yeah listen listen I'll promise I'll make it a promise now to not mention Hitler so much we don't need some more Hitler stuff it's gonna kill me I've got a good anecdote as well about Hitler no not about Hitler no I've got a non-Hitler anecdote not about Hitler no about myself you know you had one ball you do yeah Yeah. Please. The other was in the Albert Hall. How did he get there? Yeah. On the Carl Pilkington thing where they get him to read about Hitler, Carl Pilkington reads a book about Hitler and he's annoyed that it doesn't mention the one ball thing.

23:37Yeah, not true. It's those little books that... Those little books you get at the checkout at Waterstones, as I believe they say word to word. Che Guevara is one of them, wasn't it? Yeah, he does Che Guevara, yeah. Shout out to all the people listening that a proper sort of OG, the Gervais podcast and also the XFM show. The XFM show is amazing. There's loads of people that know when we're referencing them and understand when we're also accidentally referencing them. Yeah, they know when we've just muddled up work that they did with work that we think we're doing now. Sometime later. We do need to do fact check.

24:13We do need to do fact check. This is where you send in something that feels like a fact to you that you'd like us to confirm. we'll be reading a fact or question that you'd like us to get to the bottom of we're going to have a good think thanks Joe and then we're going to have a good think during the ad break and we'll come back and let you know how true we think it feels to us to us and then decide whether it passes our fact check so Joe have you got this week's fact check yes I have so I thought we'd do the ad break now but I've got muddled but we're not no we mentioned the fact check we mentioned it first then we do the ad break otherwise it's ridiculous I'm saying Okay So actually this week's fact check Comes from Tom in Torquay, Devon God's country Yes And he has sent a voice note Which I will play for you Got another voice note Love it Hi guys Hope you're having a nice day I just wanted to ask you guys Whether you think Pissing on jellyfish stings Actually alleviates any pain Or whether you think that The human race has just been Mindlessly pissing on each other For decades with no real evidence that it actually does anything.

25:23Right. Good question. Good. Good question. It's in our consciousness as a society. Yeah. Anyone that's watched Friends in the 90s, remember that you need to piss on someone if they've had a jellyfish sting. You're quite, yes. Let's have a little break, Joe. Yeah. And we'll come back and we'll really get into this one. We'll get into this one, yeah. Okay.

25:51This message is brought to you by today's sponsor, Walden University. Set a course for change. Now is the time to make a real change in your life, career, and community. At Walden University, we give you the support and flexibility to get the W. Walden's online programs are designed for working professionals like you. You'll gain hands-on skills to take on real-world challenges and succeed. Your future is waiting, and Walden is here to help you achieve it. Take the first step to make your impact. Visit waldenu.edu. Walden University. Set a course for change. Certified to operate by Shev. In a world where AI is changing every role in every industry, knowing who actually has deep expertise matters more than ever.

26:34Upwork connects you with the highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records, so you can hire with confidence. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise, so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount. With Business Plus, you can access the top 1 % of talent on Upwork. AI-powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours. No endless searching required. Thousands of growing businesses already trust Upwork to hire highly skilled freelance professionals for everything from one-off projects to ongoing support.

27:12It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Upwork.com. Thumbtack presents Uncertainty Strikes. I was surrounded. The aisle and the options were closing in. There were paint rollers, satin and matte finish, angle brushes and natural bristles. There were too many choices. What if I never got my living room painted? What if I couldn't figure out what type of paint to use? What if I just used Thumbtack? I can hire a top-rated pro that knows everything about interior paint, easily compare prices, and read reviews.

27:54Thumbtack knows homes. Download the app today. Joe and James, Facts Up! We're back. We have come back. So, who was that? It was Tom from Devon who wanted to know whether pissing on jellyfish stings really works. Right. So I think this is... Well, hang on, Joe. I need to say this, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. We are not doctors. And obviously, this is not medical advice, by the way. Okay. Now we can say anything, right? Yeah. Yep. I think this is... Is this like an acid alkali thing? Yeah. Yeah. There's... It's trying to neutralize the sting. The chemical sting. So bees and what? Is it bicarb for bees?

28:37vinegar vinegar for wasps i was uh that's what they say in germany so they say yeah yeah so the idea being that the the bicarb is alkaline and bees things are acidic vinegar is acidic and uh wasps things are alkaline so you're neutralizing i didn't even know that by the way that is apparently true i love that um so in terms of jellyfish are we saying i've only been stung by i don't know what it was whether it was a bee or a wasp i've only ever been stung once yeah and it was it was when we were in australia oh yeah i remember that we went jet skiing oh yeah on our on our day off oh god and uh first of all what's really funny is um it sort of became a weird tradition we went when we did the first in between us film um one of our sort of little days off us four boys and ian and damon who are essentially the other two in between the tween basically yeah uh we went jet skiing and we had such a great time and it was so much fun that they wanted to recreate that again in australia and um obviously there was a bit more budget in the second film and like we went all the way to australia and it was going to be bigger and better and all this and the money people were like we don't want the boys jet skiing and ian and damon who were who wrote it produced it and also were directing the second film so they were properly in charge they were like they were the mum and dad of the of the production right they were like absolutely no this is a must we need to go jet skiing this is a thing that we do we'd only done it once before but it was like we're not making a film unless the boys are allowed to go jet skiing absolutely not so we did we ended up going jet skiing and I felt what I thought like I was behind like I think it was either you or Blake or something and I was like and you get it's a jet right obviously it's a clue in the name but I felt like it felt like you know it's like you're driving behind a big car and one of the stones get caught up in the trees and it hits your car and you're like jesus what was that yeah that's what it felt like hit me in the head i thought i'd got hit by a stone yeah and i was like god that's way more painful than i thought it would be yeah and um this is right in the middle of filming by the way like this was like we were filming the day before we had a day off we'll be filming the next day and i was like oh I think something hit me.

30:59I'm going to be honest. I feel like it's a sting. Like I can still feel it. And my forehead went all big during the filming. And Spencer, the producer, looked at me and was like, yeah, I think you've been stung by something there. And I can only assume it must be a bee or a wasp. Yeah. Because we were out at the sea. And I don't know how many bees are out at sea. They might be out there, I suppose. I don't know what the hive is. You're more likely to get stung if it's windy. Yeah. And we were going through wind. Yeah, it is. You are, aren't you? Yeah. It's just because they get blown into you and then they panic and - But I don't know what, to this day, I can't get to the bottom of it.

31:39We decided, again, in very fact up sort of mentality, must be a bee. Yeah. But apart from that, I've never been stung by a wasp or a bee. So I don't know. like I'm one of those people it's like when people when we're out and there's a wasp I do get a bit freaked out they're annoying they are well annoying especially wasps because they just they don't get the message they do it for the fun they don't get the message when a bee sting is like this they're like I've only got one of these yeah and then I'm dead yeah so I'm only going to use it for the last minute and bees also I feel like they they make honey like very important fair play really Do you think when you were jet skiing, you were going faster than the wasp or bee, and so you kind of just flew into its ass?

32:27I think I just rear-ended a wasp or something, like a bee. No, definitely a bee. Because they're quite fucking, they flop about, don't they? They just sort of float bees. The phrase busy as a bee, they never look busy. They're always just swanning around. Well, not bumblebees, but I think if you look at the, we end up working sort of high. The honeybee. Now you're talking. Right. Now there is work there. I don't know what the big sort of fluffy bumblebee. I don't think they're that important. I don't think they are. I don't think, they might pollinate. I don't think they're doing as much as the honeybee.

33:04Well, the honeybee. The honeybees look like wasps. The honeybees, yes, they do. Again, they need to get in touch with America's PR people. Yes, exactly. everybody who thinks of a bee is thinking of the nice fluffy, yes, yes, with the little woolly jumper on. Yeah. What did you do with your bee stung forehead? Did it go down? It just got all big and it did become a little thing where it was like, oh shit, we don't know what we're going to do here. Also, I fell off by jet ski. You did, yeah. Was you connected to the, did you have the key or something connected to your wrist? I did. Yeah. Yeah. So I fell off and I was like, it's all right, it's all right.

33:45And then all the Aussies on the crew were going, no, there are bull sharks in the harbour. That's what we kept forgetting as well. So they were like, well, no, I mean, do actually get back on because... There was a point where me and my son, Harrison, not Jude, obviously, he was only three months. Harrison was just under two, something like that, where we had a day off. So we went on Gold Beach, which is just fucking miles and miles. It was this beautiful, beautiful golden sand beach. We were like, let's jump in the sea. And the waves were massive because they loved surfing. It was literally called Surfer's Paradise, the place that we were at.

34:21Is that the name of the town on the map? Yes. Yep. Again, it's Big Beautiful Bill again, isn't it? It's just like you can't have that as a name. I think you can be from Surfer's Paradise. So it's a name. I think it could be in your passport or something, Surfer's Paradise. but I was like huge waves and I was having fun with my son and like the waves were coming over us and we were like choking on the water and almost drowning and stuff we were like oh fucking hell what are we going to do oh and that fun and then I pulled him out and then we were like then we were in a battle the rest of our lives and then it was like years later where I was like that was mental yeah that I did that we were two yeah yeah yeah that is young and I thought we were just at like South End like yeah yeah do you know what I mean you're actually just She's going for a paddle.

35:08Treacherous, presumably shark-infested. Like box jellyfish, to start with. Yeah. Just those. Just those two. There's a lot of poisonous. All over Australia. Yeah. They can't get enough of it. But anyway, with Devin's question, sorry. Tom from Devin. But Devin, if you're Devin, just call him Devin. That was so Partridge. All right, Devin. That was so, knowing me, knowing you, that was Partridge. Oh, Devin. Anyway, Jackie, Jeanette, whatever.

35:45Anyway, Tom from Devin wants to know, pissing on jellyfish. I believe it does work. I believe there's science there. Like what you were just saying just then. It's about neutralising the acidity. Yeah. However, I have read that that is a misconception. Right. And that it doesn't work at all. I think I'm going to go with this, right? I think it does work, but there's other things that could work. There's other things that are better and are maybe more ready. Is it actually, you know what, I've heard, you know what, it might be hot water, doesn't it say hot water, warm water, for some reason is good.

36:21So maybe it's just that your piss is hot. Is it that? Is it just that it's - I've not heard that. I'm going with the chemical thing. Yeah. Speaking of piss being hot, when I was on - It certainly is. When I was on, I did - Thanks again, NordVPN.

36:41they're getting their money's worth they are they really are I don't know why they want their money's worth but they're getting it as a brief aside when I did celebrity bear hunt there was a bit where oh for god's sake the losing team got pissed on had to drink bear's piss nearly sort of they had to eat a meal heated up by his piss and I thought that what they meant was it was literally just put in a bag with the body heat generated by his piss and kind of swished about. So it was put in like lukewarm water. What it actually meant is that there are these crystals that you activate with liquid and he pissed on the crystals and then that goes...

37:22And it's an exothermic reaction and that heats the food. But it could have been any liquid. It could have been any liquid. So it wasn't necessary for it to have been his piss. And the losing team did speak to me afterwards and they were like, yeah, loads of the piss was just in and around the food. like just kind of on the on the rim of the thing they had to eat from like they were like it was it wasn't it wasn't sealed it wasn't sterile it was like it might so it is a tv show and i do i i do understand how television like yeah how things can be dramatized yeah could have just said it was did you see him pissing yeah you saw him do it literally saw him do it yeah did you see his penis and the pit and the urine coming out of his penis i wasn't there because i hadn't lost that challenge i'd actually won that challenge so i don't know i'm not so you just got straight piss.

38:05You got a shot of Bear's piss. We got a shot of his piss. The losers don't get the piss, but they get to have their meal. Yeah. Because you're so lucky to be in Bear's presence. Anyway, that was so with this, I think it might be the heat. It's possible that it's the heat. We're saying fact. We're going fact? We're saying yes to an extent. We're saying fact. Okay. so it's up to you if you want to continue asking for the Queen's consent but we do want the Queen's consent we would like the Queen's consent we always want the Queen's consent we always want the Queen's consent I do enjoy that thank you okay so what say you ma 'am so apparently peeing does not make it better but it does make it worse but what it's can't hurt might as well It doesn't make it better but it doesn't make it worse.

39:07I thought you were going to say but it does make it worse in which case that's a really really bad bit of misinformation. Because that's the first that's the first thing I'd know. It makes it worse. If I've got stung by a jellyfish and it's piss. With my limited education I would if I got stung by a jellyfish the first thing I'd do is go I've got a piss on myself right now. Okay. Let me say that again. Go on. It's not advised and it can make it worse. It can make it worse. It can make it worse. Well, this is good. This is what we need to know, to be fair. So the salt and other compounds that are in urine can trigger the stinging cells, which release more venom, increasing the pain and irritation.

39:48Right, so it's terrible advice. So don't put milk on it then or anything like that. They say rinse with seawater. That can be helpful and that can help deactivate the stinging cells. if you've got any vinegar nearby. Okay. So basically, a jellyfish... It's the opposite. A jellyfish is a big wasp, essentially. That's the thing to... Is piss alkaline? I think we're then... Well, no, what confuses me is don't piss because it's got salt. Rather, use seawater. That's not salty, is it? Well, listen. That's a good point, Jo. I mean, I don't want to criticise... The Queen. The Queen. Thank you. Careful.

40:25You've got to sometimes. Careful. Watch yourself. Don't question the Queen. Don't question the queen. Don't question queen. Queen. Yeah. If there are any tentacles on you, you've got to remove the tentacles. It also says, try and immerse yourself in hot water. Okay, so I've got that. But that's after initial treatment. So, you know. So once you've fully recovered. That could be piss. Yeah, so then you can piss on yourself after that. so once you've fully recovered celebrate but it does say see a doctor what do I definitely have to do what do I definitely have to get stung by so that Joe has to piss on me I think seek initial treatment and then piss all you like yeah basically but you don't have to be stung to be pissed on I'll be stood by and once you've recovered if you could just stand over me that's fine yeah I'll be lying on my back I'll be in fetal position

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42:13Upwork connects you with the highly skilled freelance professionals with proven track records, so you can hire with confidence. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise, so you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount. With Business Plus, you can access the top 1 % of talent on Upwork. AI-powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours. No endless searching required. Thousands of growing businesses already trust Upwork to hire highly skilled freelance professionals for everything from one-off projects to ongoing support.

42:51It's free to sign up and posting a job is easy. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com, Upwork.com. I'm Claire Buckley, and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed, then you are gonna love my podcast, Pretty Scary. from terrifying true crime haunting ghost tales creepy alien encounters and anything weird it's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything lock your doors get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness just search for pretty scary with Claire Buckley Joe and James Facts Up Joe I believe you got a fact for me I have yeah okay so we're doing amazingly Advent.

43:48Yes, forgot about that. The fact I've got for you is about hymns. So people who take Advent seriously, they don't start singing the Christmas hymns. Hang on, I thought you were talking about the hair loss. I'm not saying gender, no. The hair loss thing. Oh no, not that. It's a men's hair loss brand. Hymns as in songs. Yes. And if you sort of follow Advent properly, you don't just start singing the Christmas hymns straight away. There are specific Advent hymns. And you only break out the Christmas hymns on Christmas Eve. I've got a question for you. So when does the... So All Your Heart, The Herald Angels Sing, all the classics, all the bangers, right?

44:36Then not until Christmas Eve. And Advent is a different thing. So obviously now there'll be Christmas songs on... When do you start partaging the pear tree then? I think again probably just Well that's another That's the 12 days That's after Christmas That's what the song's actually called isn't it 12 days of Christmas So I don't know whether that's Advent either So for example A hymn like A good hymn I think Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel Do you know that one Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel No I don't know that one I know the Oh let's Let us adore him one Is that just a hymn? I think that's That was a fun one at school Because it got louder and louder Yeah Oh come let us adore Oh come let us Oh come let us Yeah that was That was always good So yeah there's Christ The Lord Yeah Just to Christ Yeah If you had a Really hammer that home Yeah If you ever had a In case there was any ambiguity I used to I used to be in chires when I was little and they would always try and really get you to announce it and it would be like Christ and then it was like Christ the Lord yeah there was a lot of that that was when teachers made themselves out as if they were doing something I don't know what that means no I know what you mean yeah because it would be like the Christmas play or whatever or something like that and like there'd always be one teacher that would take it really seriously oh okay yeah it was like everyone knows the words to this song the parents are singing along and everything like christ yeah yeah and they're like no no let's go again let's go again um and then you'll be like i really don't think anyone's gonna notice this i was just speaking of school plays basically advent is a specific thing it's got its own songs for example oh come oh come emmanuel which i think is quite good uh him but just on plays uh i was in a play when i was doing my a levels and i was so fucking stressed out and my whole throat was like ulcerated with like ulcers but i think it was caused by stress and all my all through my a-level i just had horror like a throat just covered in white blobs and i was doing a play and basically i got i can imagine you stressed don't worry about it i got a twitch and i just hoped that no one would notice and after the director noticed immediately and was like um and he was like um he pointed out did he he pointed out he went did that help he said um You've developed a Twitch.

47:11Did that help with the old anxiety? Well, no, the Twitch continued. How would you approach that? Because it's like, I can't mention it because that's not going to help. That's not going to help Joe's Twitch. Yeah, he was a guy who, he didn't have a Welsh accent, but we always thought he was Welsh. So whenever we did impressions of him, he always had a Welsh accent. So in my head, he's going, Joel, you've developed a Twitch. Right. And we need to deal with this. and I can't remember whether I dealt with it for that play or not but I remember that when I was at university I was in another play and I was in I was in Animal Farm and I was playing Boxer the Horse and I kept on doing that and the audience thought that it was in character and people after us were like that horse is fucking good he's really deep he's proper deep and then backstage I was going oh yeah thanks very much and I'm like oh no no it's no it's not that You've been through a handful of Twitches since I've known you as well.

48:07I've had some bad Twitches. Yeah. Unfairly, I think, this became a DVD extra at one point where Joe was having a breakdown. I think it's on the first Inbetweeners. Yeah, my video diary. No, no, no. The first Inbetweeners film. Oh, right. In the DVD extras, this is an outtake where Joe's having a breakdown and they go, right, they call it and they go like, right, scene, take one. and then Joe's having a panic about something maybe he's spoken to an Italian or something like that and he's suddenly thinking about that and he goes, sorry, can I just have 10 seconds? And he gets 10 seconds, he goes well that did absolutely nothing.

48:51That was like a blooper. Yeah, I was always asking for these short breaks where I try and really, really, really quickly try and get my entire head together. It'll take about six or nine seconds. Can I just... I can't do it. Can I get two seconds? Yeah, it was... That's changed nothing. Anyway, carry on. No, I was... No, it was quite a pretty... It was stressful. It was stressful. As much fun as we had making the in-betweeners. And we did have such a laugh. We really, really did. It was the best job in the world. I've not, and sadly, I've not... I just haven't had as much fun working on anything else than I have done on The Inbetweeners.

49:33No offence taken. No, no, no, no. No, I mean TV. Oh, Lily May. For goodness sake. I mean, if we're talking about making podcasts, this is my second favourite podcast to do.

49:47The Fellas was a good episode, wasn't it? Yeah, I mean, yeah. But we had so much fun. But we also did put so much pressure on ourselves. There was such – and it's really ironic when you think about it, such a pressure to be funny. It's the biggest pressure. We were obsessed with being funny. Feeling like you were supposed to be funny and you weren't funny and then the scene being over is the worst feeling in the world. But the script was always there and the script was really good and there was always funny stuff in the script. But it was always – and I think you'll agree with me. I think you'll agree with me.

50:22Even when you're not saying lines. Yeah. I just was like, well, I've got to be doing something funny right now. Even if I'm just listening to you doing your lines, I need to be doing something funny. And there was just this immense pressure of being like, that's got to be funny. There was loads of pressure. I felt tons of pressure. I also just had crippling OCD. And I kept thinking I'd fucked up the continuity. So I kept going. I kept visiting the different department. I kept turning up to sound being like, so sorry. Just worried that I might have made a noise in my chair. And they were like, you know what, Joe?

50:52Yeah, we'll let you know. It's fine. And then I'd go and then they'd see me coming back and there was another sound. No, you would say things like, I think I made a noise over James' line. Yeah. Which is not your responsibility at all whatsoever. Like, they'll let you know. If they need me to do the line again, they'll tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I mean, just genuinely like just astonishing OCD. Did that develop from the first series or was that something? No, I had it when I left university and it had been worse. and then when I was on the in-betweeners it was really bad really really really bad to the extent that they paid for a therapist to come to set and she thought it was a joke because it was a channel four show she thought it was like a candid camera show and it was like a stitch up chris moyle was gonna come out yeah like yeah and um but it was just like and also it wasn't that much discussed at the time so I was just like I'm completely insane and I need to deal with this privately in these little nine second breaks that I was asking for and somehow pull my head together and then do the thing.

51:55And yeah, actually, if to be fair, many other jobs, they just wouldn't have been in the atmosphere that was sympathetic to that kind of stuff. Especially at that time. Especially at that time. Yeah, yeah. But Ian kind of could see what it was. And there was one bit where I was kind of going like that. He kept blinking really harsh with one eye. Yeah, yeah. And he went, he said, either where have you gone or where did you go? That's what he said, yeah. I remember that. And I was like, I suppose what I'd say at that point is I felt like seen. I was like, yeah, that is what it is. It's like I'm not.

52:34But it was funny. Interestingly, remember there was an England cricket team who did a tour of Australia and they all had mental health problems? Yeah. Like trot. And I remember somebody who was a bowler saying, when I'm running into the wickets, my mind is on anything other than trying to get those thumps. And I was like, that's what it was like. There were times where I was just annoyed we were making the show because I wanted to get back to my own private worries. I think it peaked during the first Inbetweeners film. For me personally, I think the second Inbetweeners film, we had a lot more fun.

53:08Yeah. Because I don't think we were all very much, we were all like this is the last time we're going to do this so let's have fun yeah let's enjoy ourselves let's not get so wrapped up in all the stuff that we usually worry about yeah um but it definitely peaked in that first in between this film because one of the main reasons was was before that first in between this film there was already this stigma which i think i think we have not only like managed to crush that but like people have completely forgotten about that yeah where if you had a British sitcom and they made a film about it, it was the death of that sitcom.

53:46The film was always going to be rubbish. It was the jump in the shark of that sitcom, like On the Bus is the Movie or stuff like that. And we had that pressure because it was just like, and at the time, like just getting funding for that film was so difficult. Even though Inbetweeners had gotten really, really popular at that point, lots of people, distributors and Channel 4 and stuff like that were like, yeah but you know it's sort of a kiss of death isn't it like you make a film of a TV show and it usually ends up really rubbish no it's true so we also we also had that constantly during that first film yeah then we did that first film and then all of a sudden you've got Alpha Papa and all these people like Lee Francis what was his did he do like Keith Lemon the movie or something like that suddenly the industry was like oh yes we want to do films off the back of It sounds like the way to crown the series rather than it being.

54:43But before the Inbetweeners, and to our credit, it was a poison chalice. It was don't do it. Don't ever do it. Don't ever make a movie of a successful TV show because that will kill it. And we turned it around. Yeah, that's true. And that was through us fucking stressing out and Joe twitching all over the place. It was stressful. It was fucking stressful. I mean, I found the series quite stressful. I mean, it was like, yeah, it was hard. I mean, I don't think there was much – there wasn't – if it hadn't been for that particular set of writers, I'm not sure. I think another show. I just don't know whether I would have had any one to go to at all.

55:21Maybe I'm being unfair on other shows, but it didn't really feel like – No, I think we're getting to nearly 20 years ago. Yeah. There wasn't really a record. It was 2007 when we were making that. Yeah. And it was still very much loaded nuts. I mean, we got a nuts award and stuff like that. That was very much like lad culture. And there was the idea that you basically do your work and then you do various forms of like leisure. And then that was it. That was your entire life. And the idea that there might be this third space where it was like, well I'm doing a leisure activity but I'm not happy so maybe I need to go to work well I'm going to work but I can't do it that maybe there's a third area here that needs to kind of be opened up between these two ways in which you might spend your life I think it wasn't really there I think it wasn't I think we're there or thereabouts nowadays oh we're definitely there now yeah which is really good I like that it's now flipped it's like it's like well now people are taking the piss out of everyone to want mental health all the time but like no no no I don't no I wasn't going to say that I think no because that was what it was like it was like fucking what like even like it was like well no I suppose what I mean is it's now I think I wouldn't have a dream of seeing a therapist I'd just be like yeah what what are you talking about yeah yeah like it wasn't part of my life I thought I thought it was ridiculous I genuinely thought I thought it was like but now I like that we've come out of that sort of you know loaded nuts yeah lads mag sort of guys now it's all like quite manly to go and see a therapist.

57:02Now you're sort of like, fucking, all right, well, I'm going to see a therapist. I love all that. I'm into it. That's an interesting discussion and I'm not sure if that's our vibe, but it is what it is. Could be a vibe. Listen, should we... I'm definitely all fact out. I'm fact out now. I mean, goodness me. I'm definitely fact out. What have we learnt today, Joe? Joe, we learnt that Hitler didn't like religious calendars. What? I just think whenever you mention Hitler, I'm going to sigh. I think that we just got to accept it. Hitler didn't like religious calendars. He banned them. Or the world's largest calendar was when they turned St Pancras into an advent.

57:42But no one knows to the extent of, did they? We've also learned that, learned or learnt? We'll get into that next episode. So we've also learned that pissing on jellyfish stings doesn't help. Doesn't help. Can make it worse. Can make it worse. So that's good. Yeah. That's good that we all know that. Thank you, Devon. Devon, yes. Devon from Tom in Torquay. And we also learned that Christmas carols, your genuine bona fide Christmas carol. Shouldn't be sung until Christmas Eve. Shouldn't be sung until Christmas Eve. You need an advent carol Well thank you very much For listening guys We hope that you've learnt As much as we have We'll be back next week Armed with more facts Chats Bees And gnats Not my best Well I did have it As facts chats And nativity fasts But Because advent Is also known as Nativity fasts Again The problem is Is I say fasts Yeah So I did change it It's not as good But I tried my best Listen You can only do You can only work with what your materials you've given.

58:53Then no one's going to blame you, Lily May. Don't forget that you can get in touch with us if you'd like us to fact check something that feels true for you. For you, to you, or whatever nonsense you'd like to tell us. Our email is hello at joeandjamespod.com. Our WhatsApp number is 07822 034 330. And you can follow us on social media and you can slide into our DMs at joeandjamespod. head to the podcast description if I've not explained that correctly alright there we go Joe that's another one done bye guys thank you so much for listening we do appreciate it thank you sorry about that bye oh my god Joe and James Facts Up

59:39I'm Claire Buckley and if your idea of relaxing is listening to seriously unsettling stories before bed then you are going to love my podcast Pretty Scary From terrifying true crime, haunting ghost tales, creepy alien encounters and anything weird, it's the stories that leave you staring at the ceiling afterwards questioning absolutely everything. Lock your doors, get comfy and prepare to dive into the darkness. Just search for Pretty Scary with Claire Buckley.