Ep 300: Ed Gamble and James Acaster (with special guest genie AJ Odudu)

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2:07Welcome to the first episode of this Off Menu series, taking all of the meals, all of the ingredients from 299 episodes of the best podcast on planet Earth, mixing them in a pot and seeing what comes out it's episode 300 of off menu james happy birthday

2:27James Acaster: to you ed happy birthday to you james very exciting 300 episodes i mean mad mad just mad ed and i when we started this podcast thought we'd only do 10 you and here we are now 300 who would have thought it who would have thunk it uh and we're very excited because as regular listeners may well know, James and I do our dream menus. Yes. And they have changed over the years. Yeah. And we have a special guest host in the past. For 100, we had Claudia Winkleman. For 200, we had Rylan. And we have another fantastic broadcaster to host this episode 300 of Off Menu. The guest genie waiter is... AJ Adudu.

3:11AJ Adudu, of course, has been on the podcast before. We love AJ Adudu.

3:17James Acaster: Absolutely love AJ. really excited to have her be the genie waiter yes this evening this evening this evening yeah yeah I've just decided it's the evening that's the setting for our actually our celebration mine's a lunch oh okay I prefer a lunch so AJ's gonna be a big boozy lunch yeah yeah yeah yeah okay well no spoilers is it gonna be boozy Ed's menu spoilers yeah yeah I like the balls very excited AJ of course is gonna be hosting Big Brother once again and Dress the Nation later this year. So be sure to tune into those. And I'm also very excited, Ed, because this is the first episode of the new series, which is always exciting.

3:58James Acaster: But for the last few series, I believe the first episode has been someone who has gone on to be in these Beatles movies that they're making. Yes. The guest. And now we're the guests on the first episode. Benito furiously tapping away on his little archive to work out whether that's true. I think it's true. I think we've had as the first guest of each series Harris Dickinson Paul Mescal and Joseph Quinn Is that true? They've all been first episodes of series those Beatles Now are you suggesting James that that means one of us is going to be in both both are going to play We'll be in the Beatles film I think they've already cast Barry Keoghan though They've cast Ringo but I mean we'll be in the film Oh right okay Surely it would only make sense if we both played Ringo Rotating like one of us played him young and one of us played him old yeah yeah I suppose we could play maybe Ringo the car park app I don't know if that makes an appearance in what's the there's a car park app called Ringo I'm just trying to find a way we could play a character called Ringo I mean we could I mean you know or maybe we could play when Ringo voices Thomas the Tank yeah we could play just Thomas Thomas the Tank together yeah we could be like Thomas and Henry and people both with our faces squidged up at the front of a train that would be horrifying yeah it would be but this is what happens when you open a series of off menu yeah who is the other person we've had open a series in between them who hasn't been in a row are they in the Beatles movie if they are then it's looking good for us Sophie Willen I'm not ruling out Sophie Willen being in the Beatles film yeah who's she gonna play Yoko

5:38yeah

5:38James Acaster: I'd watch Willen as Yoko I'd watch that but you know what I'd listen to our 300th episode yes if I was the listener yeah who's tuned into this I'm very excited about this James we've done our dream menus there's been a lot of discussion leading up to it on what hacks we're going to apply and what courses we're going to put in there I'd expect it to be a feast again yes we've got a feast on our hands so let's not dilly dally no secret ingredient for us no secret ingredient for us please we're going to get kicked out of our own restaurant you're kidding me and also we'd know it yeah we'd know this is episode 300 of Off Menu

6:26Welcome Ed Gamble and James Acaster to the Dream Restaurant with guest host AJ Adudu. Hello! Thanks for having me. Finally, a proper host on this show who gives it some energy at the top.

6:40James Acaster: Yeah, that's what it sounds like. I give it energy when it comes out the lamp. aggressive energy AJ coming out the lamp there were you in the lamp just now? yeah basically I'm just a big northern genie yeah poof I'm here yeah yeah how many is the northern genie community a large one or are you I think it's quite quite prolific actually yeah but you have to be in the inner circle to like really know but you know I'm letting you into our world our genie northern world yeah you also did for people just listening the podcast you also did genie hands as you said hello there as well hello yeah properly like you really presented yeah yes coming out of the lamp exactly it's got to be visual as well i know that obviously everyone's listening but you gotta you gotta pack a punch yeah come with the hands give it some rally is that what when you're when you're hosting big brother for example are you very aware of your hands i am actually uh i hold a microphone when i'm holding uh when i'm hosting so gotta have good mic control yeah gotta have people hear me do you mean sure gotta make sure i'm coming in your ears and then the other hand can't be too distracting so it's on my hip it's also grabbing that's nice because you also you can't just have a completely dead hand next to you right it can't be limp sometimes i watch myself do stand up i'm holding the microphone and the other hand is just like a completely useless appendage just hanging around yeah flapping about like it's got no feeling in it.

8:13It's like an elephant's trunk.

8:15James Acaster: It's like an elephant's trunk, AJ. That's why he sits down for traitors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He just flopped that dead arm on the side of the sofa. That's why I got an iPad for traitors and cloaks because there's nothing on that iPad but it's just something to hold, isn't it? Just something to hold. Sometimes you need something to hold. I've got a mic. Not everyone has a mic. Yeah. That's it. What dress the nation? Do they give you a mic there? Do you get to? Don't have a microphone there. So then, with my hands, I'm very aware not to cross my arms don't want to look standoffish want to look very approachable still hand on hip or just like you know natural hand gestures but nothing too much do you know what I mean?

8:53this would be too much I'd love to do hand on hip but I don't feel like I've got hips

8:58James Acaster: no I notice that I I sometimes you've got hips man I've got hips for days but like but when I'm not when I'm on stage but when I'm around the house sometimes when I'm sitting down we're sitting down I just have a hand on my hip and my girlfriend will point it out and I wouldn't have even realised I was doing it I'll be like why are you sitting like a little teapot why are you doing that I'm like I don't know the teapots have it right though we should all take a leaf out of the teapots but do you know what I mean it's a good pun take a leaf out of the teapot we've worked together two days in a row now AJ both days you've had peppermint tea I have you love a teapot I love a teapot you do think they got it right I love a brew So I don't know what, basically I'm trying to reduce my coffee, up my water, peppermint is the way forward.

9:46James Acaster: Yeah. And it gives you a minty fresh breath as well. It's nice. It's like hot mouthwash. It's the best of all worlds. Wow. I'm going to get on the peppermint tea train if it's like a hot mouthwash. What a lovely description. That only sounds good to someone who is like, like you said, you're a very healthy person. So to you, hot mouthwash sounds like, oh, that's the best drink. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll clean my mouth at the same time. I've made your fresh breath and that's more important to me than something that tastes nice. But yeah, well, good on you. We're very excited to do our menus, AJ. Episode 300.

10:20I mean, honestly, congratulations. Thank you very much. Happy birthday. Thank you. You're 300 years old.

10:30We've done one a year since we were born. If an episode was a year, that's how old you'd be. Yes. That's amazing. How does it feel?

10:39James Acaster: It feels, you know what, when we sit down to do these 100 episodes, it does feel great. Yeah, it does. It does feel really cool. And like the rest of the time, I just think, what a pathetic life, hosting a podcast. But then like, when we get to do these episodes, it feels like a nice little, what would be the word? A milestone. It's a huge milestone. Something that you should be obviously very proud of. And I'm so delighted to be doing your dream menus with you. Yes, thank you. Because the tables have turned. The last time I was on here, it was all about me, me, me. And now it's about you, you, you.

11:15So I want to kick things off and ask you what you're having when you're walking. Are you having an alcoholic beverage? Are you having still or sparkling water? What are we doing? You know why I love this, AJ? It's because you didn't just go still or sparkling. You've offered the option of an alcoholic beverage. So now this doesn't feel like a hack that, yes, I am going to have an alcoholic aperitif. You're doing a hack. It's not a hack because AJ's offered me an alcoholic drink. I just thought, why not?

11:41James Acaster: Is this for your water course? Yeah, I guess so. Or is this before our water course? I'm thrown off now. Uh-oh. I'll also let you know, on the last time we did this, James put in multiple extra courses that he'd not okayed with me first. So I had to come up with stuff on the fly if I wanted the same amount of food as him. Gotcha. Last night he texted me saying, I'm not doing as many hacks this time. I'll read out the text actually, because I just... He kept saying... This is last night. what time was this text sent please it was an alright time actually 8 o 'clock 8 o 'clock it was 5 past 8 oh wow pretty good pretty good memory for make after there so he told me previously he's not doing loads of hacks this time it's going to be pretty much straightforward format yeah yeah and then 8.05 I get this text firstly hello ed which is always a bad start if James just sends hello ed you know something annoying that's the text on its own by the way hello ed and then I follow it up hello ed you press send yes would you like to know the hacks I'm employing tomorrow so you don't have to do it on the fly again long story short fish course cheese course pre-dessert putty four those are all extra courses so then the next two hours of my life at home was spent scrabbling through my brain trying to work out what to pick what's the catch of the day going to be I am going to have an aperitif and this is addition to the water course yes would you like to know what my aperitif is Yeah, go on.

13:05It's a drink called a Manuela from a tapas bar in Madrid called Taberna La Concha. It's the only place I've ever had this. I don't know. If you look it up online, they seem to be famous for it. Okay. It's in a little sort of martini style glass. They do three sprays of gin from a little spray bottle. Oh, right. First of all, it's sounding quite pretentious. It's not pretentious at all. This is like... We can't just pour our alcohol. We've got to spray it. We're pouring on top, but you just want the flavour of the gin, not necessarily the full whack of gin. Okay, a perfume. A perfume, yeah. Three sprays of gin, then vermouth.

13:40Okay, love that. Yeah, pretty much like sweet vermouth all the way up. Then a dash of Campari bitters, or a few dashes, served with an olive and orange peel on a cocktail stick in there. Punchy. Me and my wife had this when we went to Madrid to go and see Metallica. That's what you were up for, Metallica. No, no, that was the day before. So what we'll do is we'll go to European City. Metallica aren't spraying their gin, I'll tell you. We go to a European city for a gig or something or wrestling. And the night before we'll get there and have like a fancy day where we go to nice restaurants and do a bit of touristy stuff.

14:12And the next day will be full, dirty, grebo, grunger day. That's nice. That's balance, that. That is balance. And the Manuela at Taberna La Concha was a real highlight. I think I had about three of them. Oh, nice. So delicious. I bet. Very Moorish. Quite strong as well, no? The mood's, yeah, a bit strong. I think that's what I want for an aperitif. I want to be pissed before my arse hits the seat, basically. Before any water, before the water goes. I'm not drinking water until I've had my vermouth. You can't fill yourself up on hydration for that. Exactly, a complete waste of time. You know, like those funny coffee signs where they're like, don't talk to me until I've had my coffee.

14:55Don't give me water until I'm wasted. Until I need it. So you're gasping. That does actually sound really nice, to be fair. Have you ever had that?

15:06James Acaster: I've not had that. I would like to have that. I'd like to watch someone make that and spray some gin. And they make loads of them as well. So, I mean, it's like, it's a proper tapas bar. So it's quite small. Everyone's stood up. Yeah, cute. But everyone knows that drink there. So they often have like 20 of those glasses lined up, ready to go, and they're just spraying in. Have you tried to recreate this at home, outside of Madrid? I've not, because I enjoyed it, and I didn't look up the recipe until last night. Okay. So I will try that. I was going to say, this is really good knowledge, you know, when what drink is being poured into the glass or sprayed onto it.

15:41So I will make it at home, but I don't know what vermouth to buy, so it'll probably be a disaster.

15:45James Acaster: I think if I was a bartender at that place, I'd be spraying gin in my mouth every now and again. Surely they've just done it. They've just done that. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. They must have all done it. Everyone who works there must have sprayed gin in their mouth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Again, like a little breath spray. Yeah. kind of I'm big on oral hygiene yes AJ's here to promote Big Brother Dress the Nation and oral hygiene if you're having an aperitif I will have as my aperitif the Oyster Shell Martini from Brat yes from Brat called Brat okay I thought for a second I thought you said Prat it's on the secret menu at Prat I was like what yeah you can go and order a martini at Prat and you have no idea it's really good real proper French martinis.

16:31James Acaster: But back to Brat. Oyster shell martini. It's one of my favourite drinks anywhere, actually. And I'm actually really glad Ed's done the aperitif hack because I didn't find a home for it in the menu. Actually, I think it's going to fit quite well with other things I've got planned. I've never been sure if it's either gin or vodka, actually, the oyster shell martini, because it's so... I've said about it before on the podcast. The amazing thing with it, because they do use ground-up oyster shells in there somewhere. I don't even know how they make it. But it means it tastes dirty and clean at the same time.

17:03James Acaster: So it's got a bit of a saltiness from the oyster, but it's just got a really clean taste. And I think I like it better than any martini I've ever had anywhere else. Wow. I do like it so much that I've just realised I don't know the booze in it, which is like, that is a real sign that I love it. Because normally if I'm ordering a martini, I'm like, it has to be vodka. I think it is. I think it's vodka. and I do think it is but now I'm doubting myself because I've just had so many and never asked if they taste so delicious well I mean that's it and also when you go in you don't need to know it's the experience isn't it that's the point well usually I do need to know because that's part of the experience I love it but with this I didn't even realise until just now that I don't know if it's vodka or gin it is vodka Ben's nodding his head I'm glad to discover it's vodka because normally I order it and I make sure it's vodka or whatever I order other martinis and i was going to be quite distressed then if i just discovered i mean it tastes like my favorite martini is a gin one but uh surprise but i'm glad i'm glad that it's uh we went to um brat recently they've got they got two uh two restaurants we went we went to recently and we booked quite late and james was like it's all right i go in there quite a lot i'll sort it out and they how this sounds like something from goodfellas they sort of just put a new table in for us wow felt amazing thank you so much to the people of brat if you're listening yeah how many martinis have you had there a lot i've had a lot they're like right come on let's get the table out of the basement yeah there's a few things that i regularly order there that they almost there's one thing called roast chicken rice which is a incredible dish i thought that was going to come up later on your menu no it's not on this menu it's this nice real nice opportunity to shout it out because it is one of my favorite dishes anywhere um just amazing like the roast chicken uh the different bits of chicken like there's a chicken sausage a chicken drumstick in there loads of different ways that chicken's been cooked in the rice itself love that and then you just stir it all together but you put some salad in as well so the salad comes along that's like got a vinaigrette on it and you put it into the rice and you mix them all together and normally they come along with a spiel and tell you this is all the different parts of the chicken we've got here and here's the salad and what you're meant to do is put it in here and now when they bring it over to me they just laugh and then walk away because they know he knows how to do it all he knows what to do he knows the vibe I've got him helping out other tables around him with the roast chicken rice.

19:27He's so used to it. In fact, when we went, there was someone there who James was like, he's new, I've not seen him before. And he came over and he didn't do the full spiel. And he left and James was like, he should have said to mix the salad into the rice. Yeah, it did get to me. It did. He's not going to last long. He's not going to last long, are you? But I don't want the salad mixed in because I don't want cold salad mixed into a hot thing. Right, because I was going to say, it's quite controversial that I think you know hot and cold you know you're wilting it then it wilts yeah it makes the salad a little bit soggy but it works for you does it James?

20:02it works

20:02James Acaster: the vinaigrette in there with everything and the salad adds that bit of the only thing I'd say is that sometimes you get a big salad leaf that's in there with everything else and that can take you by surprise yeah when you try to put the fork full in either of our menus no but it's good to shout out but it's good to share It's a hall of famer for me. Yeah, now I want to go. I've never been to brat. That does sound quite dry though. Is the rice not dry? No, it's really moist because it's got all the juices from the chicken is all in it. And also it comes in a skillet so it's kind of still cooking a little bit.

20:37James Acaster: So it's still crispy. Get some crispy bits in there. And then that's at the brat that I go to quite regularly. There's the other brat. They do roast duck rice. Oh my gosh. Now we're talking. Same dish but with duck. And that's amazing as well. so like wow maybe do them on the same day do a little just do a little brat crawl yeah brat rice crawl okay well they're nice drinks great start both martini boys yeah yeah well when Ed was saying that I know what would go perfect I will have a martini and I can cheers Ed from across the yeah across the aisle I love a martini I love a martini I love the lychee martini oh oh my gosh treat yourself to him please it's the 300th episode genie thank you here it is have a lychee martini yeah cheers

21:26what water are we washing all of this down with I mean I'm not going to try and hack the water I've done a pint of Guinness before as the water but I feel like I've got my aperitif now I think I'd just like some lovely water a classic still just a classic still like we've got here just a jug of still it can be tap I like to have it constantly constantly at the table you know talking about hydrating I'm trying to I'm trying to keep my hydration up yeah and may I say you look splendid for it exactly bless you bless you both um yeah I like to hydrate hey sue me it's good to hydrate I used to be a cool kid who was like water sucks man but now I love water water does a good thing it's here for a reason that's a really what a journey it really it really is I mean obviously last time I was on I was bigging up Blackburn water because it is absolutely delicious I was just up north at the weekend actually and I was guzzling it down.

22:21Maybe I'll have that then. Appreciate the shout out to just a classic tap water. It's very underrated, especially in certain parts of the country. London tap water, questionable. I'm not going to lie. Sure. But you'd still do London tap water. No, I wouldn't. Must it be filtered? Because I like London tap water, but I feel like maybe then I get some Blackburn tap water. Oh, yeah. Treat yourself. Because then I'll taste the difference, right? You really, really will. You really will. You will, Ed. Thanks. water from up north is better. Yeah, yeah. And no ice, just tap water. Just as it comes. Rim temp.

22:55Why is that? Sensitive teeth? No, not really. I just feel like ice gets in the way and also it's just the same thing, isn't it? But different. Sure. You want one form of water at a time in a glass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't be pretending that they're different things. Yeah, let's not dilly-dally. Yeah. I'll say that. If anyone ever brings me ice water again, I'm going to go, let's not dilly-dally. Let's not dilly-dally. two types of water in one glass please come on come on are you trying to get what about you james

23:24James Acaster: i just like it actually i'm very excited about this because i actually got a water course for the first time the the last two i've hacked them and said like colston press and then i had a kombucha for the last one i actually had a water that i'm really excited about uh i had it at um scoff in manchester nice again this is just an opportunity to shout out a whole restaurant i I mean, probably favorite restaurant in the country at the minute. So it's just like such an incredible place. Everything on that menu is brilliant. Tom Barnes is the chef there. But the water that they, well, I had the non-alcoholic pairing last time I was there.

23:56James Acaster: And one of them had this hop infused sparkling water as one of the ingredients in the like little non-alcoholic cocktail. And I really got the flavor of that. And I was like, this is this, whatever that flavor is, is really great. And they said, that's what it is. And then they gave me some cans to take home of just the water. so they're from track brewing right so describe this flavor so it's a hot infused sparkling water yeah so it's like well it is yeah just like the hops that they make beer with but it's like infused in but it's not like an alcoholic flavor really it's like weak beer no joe what the my description of it is going to make it sound bad right uh okay glad that you know that hot smell if you smell you can smell hops I'm saying this because I grew up in Northamptonshire and in Northampton there's a Carlsberg factory and everyone knows what hops smells like okay yes okay because Black Banana Threats Brewery right as well and Edinburgh's very like if you get off the train in Edinburgh you are hit by the brewery smell pretty quickly so I guess it's a bit of a almost a stale water smell hmm and I guess what I would like is that in my drink because it does have this kind of like I think that's why I like it so much is because I can't even fully put my finger on it and describe it because I haven't had it anywhere else is it nostalgic for you as well maybe it does remind me of walking past the Carlsberg factory in Northampton and going around trying to do gigs with my band but like yeah that kind of like it's almost I don't want to say the word mildewy because that again doesn't sound good but yeah and it's sparkling as well I would never think I'd go for sparkling water I generally prefer tap water or still water but it just really worked and this company Track Brewing never heard of them before really excited to get more of this I mean basically next time we go to Scarf I'm going to have some more cans of that Weren't you sort of them from Track Brewing?

25:50James Acaster: As I'm saying it now I'm realising I should do that Weren't you be a grown up and buy your own stuff from the place that you know it is? They'll send it you surely I've gone out of my way to say who they are The subtext of this always AJ is send us some stuff Yeah yeah yeah always yeah i mean i can't i personally can't wait to try scoff in manchester the next time i'm up north you should go there mate it's like so many things that on that menu are so good the tiramisu also there's this like cashel blue cheese course that they did the first time i went and it's like a sweet cheese called like a bridge over into the desserts which is my i really like it when people do that in restaurants do they're like savory to sweet course love that and uh i I loved it.

26:36James Acaster: Said to the head chef, this is my favourite feeling, I love it so much. Next time I went there, it wasn't on the menu. And he was like, yeah, we took it off. But then he made me a little special one. Oh my gosh. Rolling with yous to restaurants must be like rolling with the big dogs. Tables are coming out. Menus are being adjusted live. It doesn't sound great. Nip to the shop to get ingredients. We do feel like mafioso. It's so good. As I was saying it, I was like, oh no, we've already said someone put a table out before. Now I'm saying this is bad. Yeah. Yeah. You're reviewing stuff. Yeah. Knuckles Acast is coming.

27:16James Acaster: Get the table. Did you get the blue cheese? Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. He's going to go fucking poop shit. You heard what he did to the last chef. Can you tell us not to swear? Please do not swear. Thank you. Beautiful. although it is your podcast so you can do what you want thank you thank you AJ but we've got water courses this is a first water courses that's good I just said water to be fair yeah I've got water I've got sparks and water yeah but I just went I just went that what's in front of me really what's that you've got blackburn water though yeah I've got blackburn water yeah you upgraded it yeah yeah to be fair yeah I did yeah and you've made yours fizzy with hops in it which you're right it doesn't sound nice but I'm up for trying that from track brewing

28:05right come on what you're having for the next bit are you having poppadoms are you having bread are you having crisps do we count crisps as a bread or a poppadom i think people have in the past hacked this course and had crisps some people have even had crisps as their starter

28:22James Acaster: i'm thinking about rosie jones who had a lot of different types of crisps as a starter but uh Yeah, I think you can, especially with dips for this part of the course. Genuinely, I mean, I know that this is your dream menu, but I've been in Ibiza recently and I went to Casamaca, this amazing restaurant, gorgeous ambience, like beautiful meats. And one of the starters, my mate ordered crisps. And I was like, come on, we're on a holiday. Let's be classy about this, do you know what I mean? But they were great. these like homemade crisps and they were like lightly salted and they were just so good with like a baba ganoush.

29:01James Acaster: Were they quite, oh baba ganoush is so good. Oh my God, so good. I just spooned that in my mouth on its own. Baba ganoush is so good. Literally so good. Was it thick homemade crisps? They were a combination of the two. They were like not chunky, but not thin. They were the perfect consistency. And also freshly done. And freshly, so they were warm as well. They were warm. Great, great, great. So good. something similar at we went there James after we'd interviewed Jeff Goldblum what a life what a fucking life yeah Agora do they do it or did we demand it and they did it for us they do like fresh potato chips and they do incredible dips like a baba ganoush and stuff so huge shout out to Agora as well yeah nice they've not made my dream menu but you came very close maybe next year I mean we're doing as many shout outs as we can at this point oh yeah yeah just before poppadoms or bread I do have a quick chef's welcome.

29:53You motherfucker. A chef's blooming welcome. I did a chef's welcome last time. He's got me. He's got you. A chef's welcome, but this is a genuine chef's welcome that exists in that position on the menu at the hand and flours. Everyone gets a little sausage roll. You sit down and they bring you this perfectly sized, like homemade, obviously it's a restaurant, sausage roll. It's absolutely incredible. Okay. Nice. Nice pastry. Nice pastry. Beautiful, like crispy, golden, it flakes but also it's got that fatty taste to it as well I love that it's a little bit of grease not too heavy on the sausage roll though not too in terms of yeah I mean it's like it's quite because the sausage roll I love them yeah but they can be quite girthy and to have that as a welcome yeah it's not too girthy we don't want it to ruin the appetite you want a girthy welcome it's not a girthy welcome not too girthy no no no just the perfect

30:45James Acaster: and it's your friend sorry I've got to stop saying that which is relative which is relative to people to what you'd enjoy. But yeah, it's a beautiful thing. And it's exciting to sit down and not know you're going to get a sausage roll and then you get a sausage roll. But do you get a sausage roll every time or did they change that on the menu? I've only been once. Right. When you went, did you get a sausage roll? I actually don't think we did. I went once and it was earlier this year. It was just a couple of months ago. Okay. Did you get a welcome? It was my partner's birthday. So you weren't concentrating on what was happening?

31:18James Acaster: So when we sat down, I think we were given our lives are going to sound so bad now are we giving champagne? Oh! It all comes out! Because I texted the chef in advance to let them know that. Oh my god. Oh my god. This can't go out. We can't put this out, Benito. You've changed. We sound awful. You've changed. You'll be able to track it. How our lives have changed during this podcast. Your partner is not eating pork, right? Yes, she's not. Did you tell them that in advance? Yes. So maybe that was it. That's why. That's it. That's why. So what did you have? They were very nice and gave us a couple of glasses of champagne.

31:53James Acaster: Oh, champagne. Happy birthday. That was the chef's welcome. It was an edible. It was a drink bowl. Yeah, yeah. It was a little drink, which they might do for everyone who's their birthday, to be fair, if you tell them ahead of time. Oh, yeah. I don't know that. Oh, God. But if I had to do it as chef's welcome, I'm going to do a chef's welcome. Yeah. And I went to a friend's... Well, actually, Paul Feig, who came on this podcast, invited me to a get-together he was having. And we arrived he said he's got his own chef. Oh my God. Yeah, so some of us are not doing as well as Paul Feig. Yeah, yeah.

32:25So Paul Feig's doing better than us. Yeah. And I just want you to know I was invited to that too but I couldn't go.

32:30James Acaster: Yeah. Yes, he was invited. Yeah. And Ben might have even been, no, he wasn't. He wasn't invited. Ben didn't make the cut. No, he wasn't. But when you arrived at that party, you were instantly given a little chef's welcome from Paul Feig's personal chef. And it was called Steak and Chips. But it was, I would say it was a cocktail stick and on it was these tiny little like fried potato like mini chips very small almost like a patatas bravas yeah but little like the chip they look like chips like crispy chips nice like little matchsticks in their own right and then a bit of like a very thin bit of steak that was like a ribbon that was like in an almost M shape on the cocktail stick the way it was folded on there lovely and it was like the perfect mini mouthful of steak and chips.

33:19James Acaster: There's a salty, really juicy meat. The crispy, salty chips. It was, I was really into it. I was actually quite disappointed. It was just, you get it once on the way in. How could I keep on doing laps at this place? Yeah, exactly. Because I was really... Also, it was on a boat, wasn't it? Yeah, I didn't want to mention that bit because like, my lives were already sounding too bougie. You was on a bloody yacht, weren't you? It wasn't a yacht, it was a boat. But make sure, in the restaurant recommendations on the website, make sure you write down, you've got to go and get the steak and chips from Paul Figg's personal chef on a boat.

33:49James Acaster: Oh no! Oh no! I wasn't ever going to do this! And then Ed goes to the chef's welcome, and then I just was like, what's the nicest mouthful I've ever had when I've arrived to somewhere? And it was on the private boat party! Oh no! Oh no! Oh my gosh! That sounds... Kettering boys! So dreamy! It was delicious though. it was absolutely one of the best mouthfuls of food I've ever had especially upon arrival sounds like it fit for royalty that let me tell you the problem is this podcast has really changed James and I'm fine because I've never been relatable so no one expects anything less from me he's come up to your level yeah finally welcome here I am the weather's great up here feels uncomfortable sorry so we've done the chef's welcome I do like that I've got that chef's welcome on my menu because that was so good.

34:44I mean it sounds amazing but should we get you back onto dry land? Yes. Talk about papadons and bread.

34:51James Acaster: Thank you, still got my ceiling. Yeah, you know what I mean? Just by myself. James, do you want to go first? Well, I'm going bread and I always respect it when someone goes bread basket when they come on the pod. And I always think, why don't I do that? So like, I've got a little bread basket so I would like the charred flatbread with whipped Bataga which I think is a butter thing I don't know it tastes like butter from Soon in Hackney so it's a it's a quite new restaurant S-U-N-E nice I think it's run by someone who used to work at Noma in in Copenhagen and has now got this place it's really great the whole restaurant's great but this charred flatbread so I can't tell you how much I love stuff that's charred these days I love it burn it just burn it flame grill it yeah and it doesn't sound it's something that doesn't sound on the menu you see charred flatbread how good's that gonna be and again I'm going to describe it and make it sound bad but it's like you've been making those American style pancakes at home and you've accidentally taken your eye off the pan and you've burnt the pancakes they smell like that when you smell them they smell like burnt pancakes like some sweetness to them and I've always liked that smell but never liked the taste of burnt pancakes and these smell as good as they taste They taste as good as they smell.

36:13Right. But they smell burn.

36:15James Acaster: Yeah. By the way, butaga is fish, right? Oh, it's fish, right? Yeah, I mean, it's quite close to caviar. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's like a gorgeous, buttery caviar. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. I'm even eating caviar, not even aware of it. That's how bougie I am these days. Yeah, I think it's butter. I think it must be butter. I just slather it on there like it's butter. Must be. sometimes it falls on the floor get it all over my lap I don't care I let my cats eat it just a bit of butter Jesus Christ oh my gosh whipped caviar that I have on my charred flatbread and it is absolutely delicious I bet it is it's so good where was that from sorry soon in Hackney yes so that's first thing in the bread basket next thing in the bread basket I've shouted out on the podcast before the daigle the daigle from the Doha in Leeds First fist bump?

37:11James Acaster: First fist bump. Come on. Because that's my bread course. Yes. Oh! We've got the same bread course. Oh, my. Okay. We're cooking on gas. We might tell you about this. Yeah. Let's go, boys. What's so good about it? What do you think the daigle could be? A daigle. Is it like a bagel? Mixed with? Combined with something daigle. So, like, egg? Donuts. Donuts! It's a donut bagel. So basically, you've got the dough of a donut. Oh, nice. Filled with sour cream and chives, like a bagel. And cream cheese sort of, yeah. Sorry, cream cheese and chives. Yeah. And then on the top is everything bagel seasoning and sugar.

37:52James Acaster: And salt. They roll it in sugar and salt. Yeah. So you get that. Whoa, it's sweet and savoury. Yeah. AJ, it's incredible. Is it? It sounds interesting, not going to lie. Like, usually, sweet and savoury, I reserve for, like, popcorn. Mm-hmm. or, you know, cheese with a bit of pear and honey. But this is what we're doing. This is how we're tipping up, boys. Honestly, I think you would like this. Because I'm sort of the same about sweet and savoury. I don't like it when people have pancakes and maple syrup and bacon. I don't like any of that sort of stuff. But this is... It's a mindfuck as well, because it's like bagel, donut, sweet, savoury.

38:32And the first time I had it, the first bite I took, I had full body goosebumps.

38:37James Acaster: Me too. I remember well. I was. I was in my hotel room. I was in my hotel room. It was brought to you. By a servant. We had the Doha set up a new brunch within my hotel room. So I could get daigles on tap. Quite conveniently, the Doha in Leeds is opposite the hotel I was staying in. So I was able to get one straight to my hotel room. I remember biting it and having to stop everything. I was just having a freeze and taking what was happening to me. Oh, wow. Because I was like, I've never tasted anything like this before and I couldn't get enough of it. I wolfed it down. I was there for like four days.

39:17James Acaster: I probably had about three of them while I was there. And then he started talking about them on this podcast. So I was like, that does sound good. Next time I was in Leeds on tour, I went there maybe noon and I went, do you have any daigle? They went, no, it's sold out because James keeps talking about them. So I had to go back at 10am the next day when they opened to get a daigle. Yeah. and it was worth the 24 hour wait was it my god yeah well I had a chocolate one the day before just because when you're in there which is excellent also yeah so much custard in there but yeah the daigle is also my bread course that is amazing that sounds so hearty rich and confusing it sounds like we shouldn't like it they do whip the cream cheese a little bit so it's like light and fluffy in there it's not just like thick cream cheese it's like it's a beautiful mouthfeel nice it is gosh what a what a bread basket there's one more thing in the bread basket okay wow I just remembered how long these episodes go on no no no come on I'd be loved to talk about food by the way I did have four things in the bread basket and this morning I thought no come on let's write it in I'll put it down to three yeah yeah and lastly I would like from Family Mart in Japan which is just a just a hop skipping a jumper bear a chain of soup of like little convenience stores I would like the peach pineapple and tangerine sandwich.

40:39James Acaster: So those, you get loads of Ed's shaking his head, but it's... Sugary. I like it so much. Sweet and soggy. Yeah, so I would eat these breads in the order I've said them in. I would have the charred flatbread. Okay. And then I would have the daigle that would cross over. And then I would have this sweet, which is basically a cake, really. It's white bread. Yeah. And then you basically get like a tinned, a little tinned peach in there. I love. So a little tin pineapple and a little tangerine segment. And it's cream like you would, but it's not actually, the cream itself isn't that sweet, I would say.

41:14James Acaster: But it's still a bit sweet. There's all in there. And that's the little sandwich you get from the shop. And they do loads of savoury sandwiches. And I worked my way through them when I was there. Yeah. But when I had this one, again, I remember, I was literally sitting outside of a shop where my girlfriend tried to find some trainers. I just really wanted these trainers. and I was like sat just on the floor pretty much and eating this sandwich and was like, it's the highlight of my holiday. Wow. If I'm honest. I would put Family Mart at the bottom of the convenience stores in Japan apart from, and they're very, very famous for this.

41:47They're fried chicken. They're fried chicken. Okay. Famicic. Family chick. Famic. I would say famicic. Famicic. Famicic. Famicic.

41:54James Acaster: Yeah, that is top. Yeah. Top tier. Yeah. Top tier energy. Extremely good. that bread course honestly sounds like a lot of ingredients yes a lot a lot of ingredients going on with that bread course I'm taking the same amount of time most people would take for a meal right because that was a three course bread course a lot of cream in it as well there's a lot of cream there I'm going to the toilet before I start eating anything else after that anything else but like I'm enjoying that bread course like it's a little meal I do appreciate a bread basket though I do I do I also appreciate a popadom basket.

42:31Have you had like the popadom basket at like Jim Conner in Mayfair?

42:35James Acaster: Yes, with all the different types of popadoms in there. It's good. Yes, because even like a popadom like breadstick. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah, there's so many different types that we're not like, you know, we're not always privy to in the UK. When you get that and it's like a whole bunch of different ones, you can really take your time with one of those. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you for them. I'm full. I'm full. Yeah, I mean, I'm glad I held back and only had a full donut for my breakfast.

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44:58I'm absolutely stuffed but there's still room for a starter yeah so what are we having? I am going to have from the restaurant Mountain which is the same I love Mountain well the chef at Mountain is the same guy who runs Brat so if you like Mountain you're going to you're going to love Brat I'm going to love Brat okay this is good to know Thomas Parry I am having the spider crab omelette from Mountain wow it's delicious which excellent good I'm glad you've had it so good it is incredible isn't it how do they get that consistency it's so perfect every single time it's amazing you just cut it open and it's just perfect and they say you've got to cut it open quite soon because it's going to keep cooking in there and you cut it open and it just I mean it feels like you're almost doing some sort of disgusting surgery but it just peels back and you've got that sort of perfect consistency not too liquidy not too solid and then very generous helping of spider crab meat in there as well yeah they're not stingy with it do you know what I mean yeah yeah the spider crab have you had that with that bread with their bread that they do I can't remember what it's called but it's like this big dorm of bread and then you just pop your knife in and then the bread flattens and then oh that with that omelette together 10-10 experience and there's so many great dishes on that menu anyway yeah but every time I go there straight to the spider crab omelette yeah is it quite juicy it's pretty juicy It's the omelette.

46:23Yeah, yeah, yeah.

46:24James Acaster: It's rich as well, yeah. Any sauces coming in? No, you don't need it. It's self-sourcing. It's self-sourcing. It is. It does sound really good. Is it big? It's a decent size, but you're sharing everything anyway. And they order a lot. It's almost got, you know when you see like, I can't remember the name of it, in Japan where they did the omelette on top of the rice, omni rice, and then they cut the top of the omelette and it just sort of folds and sort of spills over the top. Like Orpans. It's a slightly less liquidy version of that, I'd say. so you don't need any sauce in it I wonder how they make it sort of like hollow in the middle as well I don't know it just honestly it blows my mind I'm like it doesn't make sense it's like a folded omelette yeah but then you open it and you're like oh that was hollow inside I'm busy I'm busy there's a little spider crab waving it yeah surprise welcome to mountain please don't eat oh no yeah that was that was the easiest choice that's a good start after that.

47:22James Acaster: I want to eat that now. I can't, I can't, too late to put it into my menu. Well, you can try it some other time. Yes. What do you want for your starter? Well, it's not ideal given the narrative so far. Okay. Okay, here we go. How many stars has this place got? Come on, King James. What are we saying, your majesty? And I wasn't, don't know what, already with this one, when I put it there, I actually wasn't happy about it because I didn't want to put a dish from Noma, which is like seen as being three Michelin star regularly voted the top restaurant in the world yeah I went there earlier this year how many times have you been there?

48:01James Acaster: three times wow one free star you can always get a table you can always get a table Jerry these restaurants hard to get in but somehow they leave one empty for him at all times oh yeah this is the one that's attached to the side of my house so yeah when I ate this I was like oh no that's going to go on the menu this is one of the best things I've ever had I've got to put it on the menu I've got to have no more on my menu it's king crab crab it's almost worth a fist bump I think I've got to go fist bump this is crabs crabs go all here it was like these crab legs really thick they may as well have been sausages these crab legs they were so big big and meaty try selling that to a crab the girth the girth of Liz Crab if you want to talk about the girth of these these crab legs served with frozen quince that you then Quince Quince The poshest thing You could possibly say Quince I'm not happy about it Can you Can you explain Quince to me please I'm actually not sure What it is It's a fruit It looks like a They'll often serve Like a Quince based things With cheese Like a quince jelly Quite often You'd have with cheese But it's sort of This has looked like A little Sour and sweet It's got that Like the end of a lemon It looked The way they cut it Yeah Okay And then you squeezed it So it's a citrus fruit Yeah Right So then I squeezed it Over the crab legs lovely it was like it had been frozen taken out left for a bit and then you squeeze it over but it didn't taste like lemon they couldn't they just used a lemon no it was citrusy I think yeah and sweet okay gotcha and then to brush over it was a savoury fudge so it was this like it came with a brush it almost looked like a shaving brush okay lovely your descriptions are so appetising yeah yeah you got all the savoury fudge on it and then you spread it on top of this big juicy crab that already had the frozen quince on it.

49:50James Acaster: It was just so melt-in-the-mouth, crazy, delicious. I felt very emotional while eating it. It was so nice. But like I say, I was like, oh, no. I'm not going to have to put number one restaurant in the world on my menu. I'm not going to appear very relatable here. It's too late for that, man. Yeah, but to be honest. It sort of loses the whipped caviar, which you thought. Yeah, I mean, that one blindsided me, if I'm honest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and the little steak and chip situation on the yacht. And actually, looking down this menu, I'm not redeeming myself anytime soon. Well, but I'll look at what I've got coming up.

50:26James Acaster: My menu's less posh than James's. This is it. This is where we jump the shark. What a day. What a day. But, you know, got to admit, it's the nicest start I've had. Yeah. Exactly. I mean, listen, it's your 300th. You know, go all out. Splash out, right? Yeah, exactly.

50:47What are we having for me? Hack! Oh!

50:52James Acaster: Boom! Fish course. Oh, before, wait a minute, we've had starter. Yeah. And before we have the main, we're going fish course. I'd like a fish course. Yeah. Okay. Because you're the one who called the fish course. You texted me last night about it. Hack! Catch! Pull some fish out my arse for this. Not surprising anyone we're not going to be moving away from the Michelin guide. Okay, okay. But, do you know what start as you mean to go on yeah so it's a restaurant in nottingham called alcamilla okay a-l-c-h-e-m-i-double-l-a i think that's how it's pronounced and they did an aged gilt head bream it was just very you know simple just like fillet with fish now i'm gonna annoy myself here because it basically it was the best fish i've ever tasted like ever in my life and i my memory of it is that it had like a bit of a crispy skin and just really juicy fish but the flavor was amazing i'm not going to be able to do a great job of explaining it aside from i was like well fish has just never tasted this good okay but why why yeah why was it so good was it the texture was it the crispy skin i mean definitely fell off the ball was it the aged thing maybe it was because it was aged but like it was definitely it was just the right amount of juicy so like uh it wasn't wasn't too dry wasn't too wet okay it was just this really nice meaty juicy fish i love a crispy fish skin yeah and it was done to perfection and there was also it was a tasting menu and uh it was a good amount of it as well it was like the main course pretty much okay um and also i think and the people of nottingham who came to see me that week probably know this but it It was one of the worst weeks of the tour.

52:34James Acaster: And it was like, I'd done four nights in Nottingham and it wasn't going great. They weren't, they weren't really enjoying the show as much as I'd like. But then that's probably on me. So I was like, oh man, not performing the show very well this week. And then just found this place last minute on the final day for me and my tour manager to go and have a meal. And yeah, it meant that the last show was probably even worse. I was full of food. Yeah. A massive bit of fish. But especially on the last tour, I really wanted to find as many places to eat around the UK as I could. If anyone texted me saying, where should I go and eat in this place?

53:11James Acaster: I could say, this place is great. So if they're in Nottingham, I'd have somewhere to signpost them to. And I'd recommend everyone go to Alcamillo. It was so delicious. All these little bites at the beginning were insane that they just brought out that weren't even the main dishes. So yeah, the whole meal was great. but that fish is like it was one of those ones where I just said out loud like a boring person this is the best fish I've ever had to my friend and he had to listen to that but it was did he also enjoy it he enjoyed it a lot yeah he really liked it although he was tour manager as well as my friend so he was also thinking we've got to get to the venue he's clock watching yeah we've got to do this this and this and how many more courses are coming out now so I don't know your shit face rolling around yeah what was it that martini but like yeah I don't speak on his behalf but I think he enjoyed it yeah sounds exquisite it was exquisite and I'm just going to have to lead into that now because I'm looking at what's coming and I'm not going to yeah you're bougie now at no point am I going to look any less bougie yeah well I'm down to earth AJ yeah so for my fish course I'd like oysters charantes please wow wow down to earth wow I thought you were going to take us to Chippy he's going to have a You're battered cod, just to balance things out.

54:29I did think about that when I was panicked sorting my fish course last night. I was like, what about fish and chips? Because obviously, you know, one of the best ways to have fish is battered. It really is. I decided on Oyster Charentaise, which I believe is popular in the Bordeaux region of France. I had it in, never had it before, never heard of it. Then I had it in Rick Stein's restaurant, seafood restaurant in Padstow in Cornwall. Oh my word, which one was this? Because I just went to. To Padstow. to Padstow but I went to the Chippee oh nice and that he basically runs that town it's like he's like the Godfather it's like so good yeah I mean that battered

55:07James Acaster: Ben just laughed because he imagined it in his head the Codfather I guarantee that's why he laughed it is isn't it yeah yeah he laughed to himself when Ed said Rick Stein is like the Godfather yeah Ben just did a little laugh to himself I knew he'd imagined the Codfather and that is what he did it's a very popular name for some fish and chip wrestlers to be fair yeah yeah Yeah. No, but that, that, the chip-eating pad start. Oh my gosh, the Rick Stein fish and chip on the sea. Beautiful. He knows what he's doing, that guy. Ah, everything battered. I had this massive platter there actually. Yeah.

55:39And they had all of the catch of the days, like little fish bites. But honestly, the batter.

55:45James Acaster: Wow. Next level. Yeah. It's so good. The guy knows fish. The guy knows fish. You know, I went on to cooking with the stars. Oh. Jack Stein, Rick Stein's son yes and he's amazing so I met him that night actually did you how nice is he what a nice guy lovely man he taught me how to make this amazing fish burrida oh yeah yeah and it's really good what's a burrida I thought you were going to say burrida it's almost like almost like a French soup oh so there was like loads of loads of different fish in there nice you'd love it it's right up your street yeah yeah sounds nice you'd love it really fancy yeah lovely that Imagine all of your favourite fishes in basically a caviar bowl.

56:31James Acaster: Savory fudge, man. Yeah. Music to my ears when they said that. Yeah, of course. When I heard the phrase savory fudge, I was like, hey, Caster, things have worked out well for you. This is what you always dreamt of as a kid. This is the dream. Anyway, sorry, hijacked your course. No worries. So I'd never heard of this before, but it just played into just my dreams, like savory fudge. Yeah. Oysters, very simple. just shucked ready to go raw plain oysters on the side three spicy sausages so like chorizo or merguez style sausages so those bright red super spicy sausages beautiful and you just have them together and what I was doing was oyster in the mouth keep the oyster in the mouth bite the sausage so they're in there together and just enjoy that and you get the fatty spicy sausage and then the salinity of the oyster cutting through that fat it is such a delicious combination and the ideal starts because it still feels light but it's decadent as well yeah I like that very decadent yeah yeah yeah oh my gosh that sounds so delicious and I went with my gang of mates who have a little club where absolutely reprobates these guys oh yeah yeah way to hear about these we're reprobates we're not reprobates we're very polite it's me my friend Freddie Bulmer who works for the Wine Society Pierre Novelli the comedian Phil Wang the comedian and Ollie Smith the television wine expert okay and we go on little trips around the place.

57:54We go to restaurants and we call ahead and we say, do you mind us bringing our own wine? What? And we turn up with, I'd say, between five of us, 10 bottles of wine. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. So you mean to tell me that you guys can just tip up to a restaurant, pull out tables, you know, have meals that aren't on the menu served up and in addition to that, make everything a BYOB. To be fair, we pay corkage at most places. Oh, we pay corkage. Oh, sorry. You've got to pay corkage. You can do that in any restaurant. You can take your own stuff. You just have to pay corkage. Wow.

58:32He's paying corkage. And I'll be honest with you. And they don't mind paying corkage. You guys, what a life. Most of the time, the restaurant's right off the corkage.

58:41James Acaster: There you go. You have some corkage written off anyway. Gratis. You know, every time he's out with those reprobates, at some point in the evening, I'll get a selfie from him. Just him and all of them just looking absolutely fucked. just sitting in a really nice restaurant, just all of them, none of their eyes are completely open, just completely like, thinking that they're looking cool. Exactly. Don't know whether they paid corkage or not. Who cares? Who cares? I just throw the card at someone when I get in there. Yeah, that's four people. Remind me you've got that at the end. I trust your ways of corkage.

59:16My brain. Gosh, that sounds amazing. No, we're very polite diners. And this is a very hit and miss, aren't they, for some people? some people don't love it I personally love oysters so I can't wait to try that yeah I think and it's something you could do at home yeah sure but we've rolled into our main course yeah so what are we having well we've had mention of this restaurant already today oh yeah it's our friends at Scoff oh yeah lovely Manchester restaurant Michelin star only recently it's the it's so desperate it's only recently

59:51James Acaster: it wasn't even when we went there. When I went there, I did have a Michelin star. It was just, it's just a really nice place. Yeah. Just a nice place that the guy, the head chef of Long Gloom started through Michelin stars. It is the duck main course from Scoff. I'm going to read, it's the dry, dry aged Slades Down duck. It's this beautiful bit of duck, just the most perfectly cooked duck you can imagine. Like pink, it's got that deep dry aged flavour to it as well. The sauce is what is perfect. this shiny beautiful like decadent sauce which has got tapioca balls in it which gives it a little bit of texture and little flicks of fig leaf as well which sort of lifts the whole thing just an amazing sauce you know when you have a sauce at a restaurant you're like i don't know how you've made this yeah or how long you've spent making this yeah you feel like it's gone through so many reductions they've added so much stuff it's been reduced again they've put it through one of those big conical sieve things yeah they've spent days making they've strained it they've reduced it they've stirred it they've boiled it they've done it all yeah it's been horrible for them yeah and that's what I like to taste the pain and effort the pain and effort but here's the killer with this it comes with another bit of bread oh my gosh this tiny little wholemeal perfect loaf and you tear open the loaf and inside is the leg of the duck that's been confied down what so you've got confit duck leg meat inside the bread and then you're mopping up the sauce and there's bits of duck falling out of the bread into the sauce you're scooping it all up and it's the perfect size because it's part of a tasting menu it's not like you're going to be dead after you eat that yeah it's delicious and if you are um me or james they'll bring you a bit more duck as well yeah yeah yeah bring you out pate duck anyway you want it yeah yeah if anyone is going to scoff you just have to work in a disguise so you look like even me or that so depending on who you look more like you want to start from there just lean in try and go in a disguise and then key points go excuse me where's my extra portion but yeah i just thought that was a and rarely on tasting menus do i enjoy the the main meat selection sure this is where we are in our lives now yeah guys don't you agree with me text in if you agree yeah but i just think it's phenomenal and what a restaurant and i'm glad i got to give that a shout out yeah that sounds so Oh, good.

1:02:13Yes.

1:02:14James Acaster: I'm also excited to shout out this place where I'm having my main. It's Greg's. Yeah, it's Greg's, isn't it? Yeah, it's Macaday's. It's MacDonaldson. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to have the Beef Wellington from Ron Gastrobar. Hang on. Is this third year in a row? Huh? Yes. Third time in a row. Wow. I haven't found a better main course. You're taking a court over it? The Beef Wellington at Ron Gastrobar remains... In Amsterdam. In Amsterdam. Damn. Remains the finest main course I've ever had. I had it again after the second. So I've had it twice now. I had it again after the second tasting menu. My girlfriend took me there for my birthday.

1:02:52James Acaster: I was nervous about it. Why? Because I was like, I've really run my mouth off about this, you know? Okay. How good it is. So you worry that the memory of it is better than the actual thing. Yeah. And I knew that people had been there because of the podcast as well to try it. And I was like, what if they've been there and they've had it and been like, this is rubbish. Yeah. the pressure's on if anything it was even better than my memory actually I've had it three times for the first time I went twice in one week I'll tell you what I recommended this dish to De Niro did he have it on his menu in the end it was one of the many things actually Joe I should have just said I'll have whatever's good yeah why don't we do that for this menu we should have just said we'll have whatever's good because that is no way to treat the format oh nice yes I did pitch this to De Niro but he changed it for Wagyu beef in the Wellington.

1:03:40James Acaster: Okay. But he still was going to have it from one gastrobar. Okay. I've had the Beef Wellington in Estelle Manor. Have you been there? No. Oh my gosh, delicious. It's in Oxfordshire and beautiful, beautiful ambience, beautiful vibes. But sometimes, you know when you go to these, you'll know when you go to these posh places sometimes, they focus a lot on the dining experience and then sometimes the food's lacking. Yeah. Whereas this, you get a 360 experience. It's like, you're in a gorgeous manor house. You've got beautiful service. Like, everything's decadent, old, lovely. Yeah. And then the Beef Wellington raved about, talked about that, paired with a gorgeous little pinot noir.

1:04:26Stunning. Smashing. And the Beef Wellington, honestly, the meat was thick. Yeah. But like, so, like, succulent. And pink. And just, oh, just so good and the pastry on the outside next level like so good you know golden but stays together hate it when it crumbles off the edges don't like that at all a beautiful gravy to go with it do you know what I mean what about that that little rim in between a little rim just full of flavour yeah just so so good not too much but not never too much so was yours comparable to that yeah because actually

1:05:04James Acaster: you just described one gastropole i need to go that's where i need to go i'm gigging in amsterdam towards the end of the year so first thing i'm doing is booking rongastrobar yeah i can't wait although one thing i did do i had to warn our good friend bob de niro about uh about the rongastrobar because i was like look i had it it's amazing every time i've had it but i sent a friend there and they put loads of black truffle on it which wasn't there when i was there and then they put like a smear of like sauce on it it didn't look very appetizing. He said it still tasted delicious, but they seem to have changed it.

1:05:39James Acaster: Then, when Ben went, he sent me a photo of it and it was back to how I had it. So then I had to text my friend and be like, I think they were punking you. They weren't punking him. He's really famous. He is quite a famous guy, I guess. They were like, let's absolutely give this guy the truffles. Oh, yeah. They're not breaking out the truffles for you. This guy's living a better life than we are in restaurants. It's hard to even imagine that. Yeah. It's hard to... I mean, the dizzying heights that you guys are, I just can't even imagine anyone. Someone is. Someone's getting truffle. Getting truffle without even asking because they want stranger things.

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1:08:18Side dish? You first? Can we squeeze anything in?

1:08:21James Acaster: Oh yeah, I'm dead by this point. Yeah, sure, dead. but yeah so I've got two side dishes we've let people do that feels like you should pick one what do you reckon AJ you're the host it does feel naughty but I think we're feasting aren't we let's just binge when you hear what they are I'll have two as well then yeah when you hear what they are it's like more yeah so because one is just the lime pickle slaw from Mildred's oh okay of course so that's like a fine yeah that's quite a light side just some slaw yeah and the lime pickles I mean it's exactly what it sounds like they've stirred lime pickle into some coleslaw it's next level it's outstanding I can't stop thinking about it lovely and I'm very disturbed at the minute because it has temporarily I hope disappeared from the takeaway menu on the app and I'm like where the fuck is it because like that and the artichoke and Caesar salad has gone as well which is my other favourite thing from the menu and I'm panicking at this stage yeah it's awful when they do this to us do you know what I mean they get us hooked on these delicious things and then they go oh yeah we've changed the menu completely they used to have a thing bring it back they used to have a thing with artichokes and like charred bread and this whipped creamy garlic sauce and i used to have that all the time and they got rid of it yeah this is what i'm going through like i've only just discovered this lime pickle so i think i've only had it three times this is the most accessible thing on your menu for listeners and it's about a small train in London.

1:09:47Yes.

1:09:48James Acaster: Yeah, I mean. So you just have to catch the train or fly in. Yeah. Every man, James Acaster picks the lime pickle slaw from Mildred's. And then, I guess the headliner for my side dishes are the Kentucky Fried Mussels from Ox Club in Leeds. Oh, nice. Back in Leeds again. Yeah. But like, Ox Club, one of my favourite restaurants in the country. I think it's incredible. Again, just keep sending people there because it's so good. And I mean, that was definitely one where the gig I did in Leeds that night was so bad. Because I went in just, I was going to get one little thing. And then they, we really do recommend you have the Kentucky Fried Mussels.

1:10:26James Acaster: They're really good as a starter. Had them, they're exactly what they sound like. Perfectly cooked mussels with this amazing like Kentucky seasoning on them, the Southern Fried seasoning on them. Eating them with a toothpick. Ed always does this gesture when he's copying, when he's making fun of me. But how I always talk about food. Yeah, you always mind. He always minds like, He'll have a bag of something. He's walking down the street, just throw them in his mouth. Like a cartoon character would eat. That's definitely what I was doing with the Kentucky Fried Mussels. I was throwing them all in, exclaiming after every single Kentucky Fried Mussel how good it was.

1:10:58James Acaster: Every time I've recommended to a friend and they've gone, I was like, if they're on the menu, you've got to get them. But the menu changes quite often. They haven't been on there. So I'm hoping shouting them out means that they'll get back on the menu. Because sometimes I like to bully a restaurant into putting my favourite things permanently on the menu. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they can't just, you know, I'll reserve these dishes for you when you walk in. I don't mind that. Just trying to bully restaurants. I'm just trying to bully them in to put it on the menu permanently. Bring it back.

1:11:25Bring it back.

1:11:27James Acaster: And then, yeah, that whole meal was amazing. Had this amazing duck breast and then they had a baked Alaska. And then I was absolutely full and no one in Leeds laughed that night. They do a different baked Alaska, don't they? They change the baked Alaska. Baked Alaska's different every time you go. It is a great restaurant. I've had the muscles I can back James on this. They are fantastic. Yeah, really good. Okay. I do have a couple of choices for side here. So I will just say both of them. This is something I tried to make recently. So I want it when I've made it, but I've got it exactly right.

1:11:57I didn't quite get the balance right at the flavor. So I want to do this again. It's a barbecue miso butter hispy cabbage. So hispy cabbage, really simple, split in half, and then miso and butter mixed together. put it on the cut side get it onto the barbecue down like really really grill it until you've proper charred it then set up the other side of the barbecue for indirect heat so basically just sticking it on that side shutting the lid for like 15 minutes 20 minutes and then constantly basting with the butter you've got left over and it's soft and delicious and sort of almost meaty but it was just too salty when I did it I think I used salted butter which I think was a mistake got to go unsalted butter not as much miso and then a bit of some sesame seeds over the top right at the end but I love burnt vegetables wow you too like burnt things

1:12:49James Acaster: love burnt things and may I say Ed is doing some superb food descriptions today I'm all over the place I'm saying stuff is mildewy I'm trying to make it sound appetising it's like a burnt pancake Ed this is mouthwatering stuff that was mouthwatering stuff you can taste the barbie you can taste the smoke especially if you get it shut the lid and get all the smoke rolling around it while you're cooking it absolutely fantastic but i want to nail it and then my other side dish is salt and pepper chips right delicious where do you have them from i everywhere i get everywhere i get them from they're good i've never had bad salt and pepper chips but from from chinese restaurants basically yeah yeah it's amazing and i like anything salt and pepper i love the salt and pepper chicken wings i love all of that but salt and pepper chips for me that's the best how do they do it so good it's that seasoning I mean I guess it's like MSG and sugar and salt and garlic and chilli and sometimes there's like the spring onions in there that have been fried a little bit but they're at the bottom so they're almost steaming in there as well and you'll get like onion and spring onion and chilli just collecting at the bottom and I'm having that on a big spoon just having it yeah it's so mouthwarming stuff salt and pepper chips and a glass of Riesling that could be my whole meal oh yeah well bad luck because you got about a billion things yeah exactly

1:14:10I'm glad that you mentioned that drink because we are coming on to our drinks course you're right so what are we washing all of this loveliness down with? I'm not having a Riesling I had a Riesling last time I'm having a rosé actually alright but don't get ideas in your head about what kind of rosé this is this is not and I've been known to partake in an echo falls not an echo falls

1:14:37You're not that relatable The news agent is for vapes only He couldn't even take that as a joke He couldn't even pretend I don't want people thinking

1:14:44James Acaster: I was furious as soon as you said it I buy dusty bottles of Echo Falls From the news agent I do not do that Whispering angel I've been known to I've been known to I've been known for the angel To lean into my ear on occasion A whispering angel at a Patti Smith concert Thank you It is Got three tickets Because I knew the driver

1:15:07it is the Lopez de Heredia Vigna Tondonia Rosado Grand Reserva that's what it is

1:15:14James Acaster: but he has few as he's got to look up how that's spelled it's a Rioja Rose a Lopez de Heredia Vigna Tondonia Rosado Grand Reserva they make fantastic Rioja white and red but the Rose which I believe they've stopped making so the latest you can get vintage wise I think is like 2012 so now coming it's hard to come by It's the colour you wouldn't know it was, you wouldn't know it was a rosé. It's not pale. It's got a real deep, deep pink colour. Otherwise known as red. No, not that deep. Not that deep. Benito, get me a picture of the glass of it. You've got to finish spelling it. It's going to take him an hour.

1:15:51James Acaster: That's orange. There you go. So orangey, reddy. It's like whiskey. This is a bottle of whiskey, actually. It does, yeah. It's got a full flavour. It's not quite a lot of the time with rosé. If it gets hot, I'm like, I really crave a rosé because I just want to get that super cold. And then you're almost necking. It's just like water. You can barely taste it. But this has got a flavour. You take time over this. It's hay. It's strawberries. It still tastes summery, but it's still warming. It's just got body and it's exciting. Wow. So good. That does sound so good. As I was saying, I'm just trying to think about how I'm just describing my drink and all I can think of is nice.

1:16:25James Acaster: Yeah. And I would urge our listeners to go and get some. Okay. About 120 quid a bottle.

1:16:35apart from me who's going to get it sent for free now yeah yeah he's going to get it sent a crate of them yeah end up on your doorstep no I've had it very very rarely because it is hard to come by it is expensive but this is the dream this is the dream menu this is the dream menu can you get it by the glass or it's a bottle situation it's mainly a bottle situation once we're getting into the three digits for a bottle it's it's a bottle or nothing really isn't it unless you're going somewhere that's using the Coravan system where they can extract a glass without taking the cork out. Yeah, that's nuts.

1:17:05Well, that sounds nice. It's delicious. I can't wait to have it again one time in the future. Okay. Got to be crisp and cold. Cold-ish. I mean, we're getting into the area now, AJ, of where I start speaking. I realise how boring I'm being, but also I do need to finish the thoughts. Yeah. I mean, I asked. Personally, if it's white wine or rosé, you really should be getting it out of the fridge 20 minutes before you drink it. Because if you're having it ice cold, you're missing out on all of the flavours. if it's a nice bottle of wine, it's out the fridge 20 minutes before. Champagne, fine colder.

1:17:37With red, some reds benefit from 20 minutes in the fridge before you drink them. Because of course, we all say wine was meant to be drunk at room temperature, but what we're not taking into account is room temperature has changed over the years. So yes, when wine was being stored in a stone cellar and people were drinking it in castles, room temperature was perfect. But now we have central heating, AJ. So room temperature, no thank you. I'll have fridge temperature there you go sort finished sorry everyone thank you thank you

1:18:09James Acaster: it's actually annoyingly helpful yeah it was actually very helpful and now I've envisioned myself having a a nice glass of Pinot Noir in like a castle yeah a castle temperature get yourself on the traitors yeah yeah they're drinking loads of Pinot I'll put a word in for you AJ cheers love for my drink we're going to a restaurant called Behind behind in hackney i think behind opened during the pandemic okay didn't stop it from getting a michelin star pretty quickly oh wow it's a seafood restaurant okay and at one point and so i'm going non-alcoholic for this as well it's so delicious a cardamom and coriander lassie right i don't know what this means so luckily like yo like i mean a lot of people say like lassie like mango lassie or whatever okay yes I do know what that means yeah James is doing the thing where you're saying something for your whole life then you're told it's something different and now he's acting like he's always got it right yeah right well no I'm just trying yeah a lot of people say lassie but I say lassie Krishna Guru Murphy corrected us on the podcast yeah and so especially when I'm on the format I'm on the thing that I got corrected on yeah sure but we still say poppadoms don't we

1:19:23James Acaster: it was a super refreshing it's really light as well and I just wanted more and more of it. So I think that's why it's on my menu. Yeah. It's because I had four decent glugs of it and it was gone. Yeah. And then I just wanted to keep drinking it. I've wanted to keep drinking it ever since. Is it like a nice thick consistency though? Like almost like yoghurt-y? It's thick, but it's not too... No, it's not like a... Milkshake-y? No, it's not like you've got a thing of yoghurt there. No. Like more of a lighter milkshake, not like... A smoothie. A juice. Maybe. Well, no. In between a juice and a smoothie?

1:19:57James Acaster: In between. Like smoothie consistency if it was yoghurt, but it's not yoghurt. Oh, no. I mean, it is yoghurt. Another one making my mouth water. Jesus. I'm not doing this. I apologise to all the restaurants that I've shouted out because I've made it all sound disgusting. It's the most delicious things I've ever had. It's a probiotic in your fridge. It's a big yakult you had, wasn't it? Actually, that's more like it. Yeah. but it was it was really refreshing it's a very good palate cleanser as well and it went with all that seafood I've got quite a lot of seafood on my menu even though I went for the you added a fish course because I added a fish course and I had the crab I had the mussels unknowingly I had whipped caviar caviar yeah so like you know that adds to it yeah it's quite a nautical theme as well yeah yeah given the fact that like you've had some of this on an actual bowl yeah Jesus yeah yeah yeah so that'll help so yeah that Lussie is absolutely delicious and that's what I would like and it bridges me nicely from all those mains into the next hack that I'd like to do a hack before the dessert come on then I absolutely love I love the hacks by the way thank you yeah I do I love the hacks it's like a bonus isn't it exactly I could use a little bonus round and I'm able to do both of these hacks the cheese course and the pre-dessert kind of in one because I had them in the same place last week.

1:21:29James Acaster: So before, last week there was no hack here. I was going to go straight to the dessert and be a good little boy. Right. But then I went to Asteria Giorgione de Massa in Venice. Wow. Who did you go with? George Clooney?

1:21:45James Acaster: I probably did. Ben absolutely loves that. Yeah. I went with my girlfriend. but we met our friends there who lived there and and they were like this place is amazing gotta go the whole meal was delicious and then for dessert they were like we should order all the desserts because they were all brilliant and now here's what I'm worried about is that I've not done very well at describing food yeah until up until this point and straight in there yeah and looking at what I'm about to describe I don't think I'm gonna do these justice okay listen there's still time a piece of shit on an old log but god I know it sounds bad but you can really taste all the shit when you're eating it so my cheese course is blue cheese ice cream from this place how are you feeling about that AJ?

1:22:36right you've lost me you've lost me I love blue cheese I love ice cream but together sounds criminal trust me incredible

1:22:46James Acaster: I'm calling the police looks like a scoop of that yellow vanilla ice cream when you get the vanilla ice cream from shops, it's yellow. Yeah. Looks like that. Really generous scoop. It looks bad. It's delicious. Yeah. Looks very cheese-like. Please, please. Sorry. It looks like bad ice cream. Looks incredible. Would it convince you, AJ, if I told you that the cheese flavour is incredibly strong?

1:23:12James Acaster: Because it really is. It is so strong of blue cheese. Is it one of the sort of things you eat it and your brain's like going wild, going, why is this happening in my mouth? What I'm looking at, yeah. I couldn't stop eating it. It was so good. No. No. No. You might, I know you're saying no. No. But trust me, if you like cheese and you like ice cream, you'd be surprised how much you'd like it. Right. It was, both these things I'm shouting out, I immediately ordered them again. I had them both again immediately. Do you know what I'm going to say here? I think you're one of those people who's like, who's loving that trend of ice cream and salt and olive oil.

1:23:52Yes, correct. Oh, I love that. That was on my menu last time. Which I do not like. I nearly did it again. Wow, no. You see, I've tried it and I really tried to like it because I was like, everyone loves this. Yeah, yeah. Come on, AJ. You know, broaden that palette of yours. It's just not for me. Oh, you would hate this, actually. You just can't be tampering with ice cream like this. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. What's ice cream ever done to you to deserve this?

1:24:15James Acaster: Well, actually, and I know this because I studied it for my mastermind round. One of the original flavours of ice cream was cheese. Yeah. And then it pretty much got abolished and transformed to vanilla and chocolate and strawberry. James loves ice cream. Because that's better. No? He loves ice cream. But it's got to the point now, you know, when you hear about porn addicts, where they've been through all the standard stuff. It doesn't do anything for them anymore. So it needs to get more and more extreme. yeah to the point where everyone else is disgusted at you yeah this is like hardcore yeah yeah this is this is beyond hardcore ice cream yeah this is triple x rated yeah i mean big trouble if people find out i've been eating this so i had that but then since this is like my head was spinning because there was that but also there was grappa panna cotta that we had wow and the grappa I would say had been free poured in there by someone who did not give a shit is this your pre-dessert now by the way pre-dessert so blue cheese ice cream is my cheese course that bridges from the mains to the desserts and then my pre-dessert is the grappa panna cotta also from the same place these were on the same table at the same time I was going back and forth going these are two of the best desserts I've ever had I can't believe I'm eating them at once two more immediately please and I ordered them again the grappa in this it is the most boozy thing I've ever tasted it again Then when I put it in my mouth, I was like, that is way too much.

1:25:43James Acaster: That is incredibly, that is ridiculous. Also, that's one of the tastiest things I've ever had. And I'm going straight back in for another one. I cannot emphasize enough how much this was more grappa than panna cotta. Like it was still a solid, solid panna cotta, but it just tasted like pure grappa. It was mad. And I loved it so much. And that having two things on the table at once that were 10 out of 10s and then being able to order them again immediately because I didn't want it to end. felt great and I knew I've got to get them into this menu now and I've got to do the hacks do you know what I love that for you I love it for you thank you you enjoyed it you loved it emphasising the word you a lot yeah you you really really like that and I do love that for you do you think the booziness of the second of the panna cotta you know influenced the taste of that very cheesy ice cream.

1:26:40James Acaster: No way. No way, because I think I started with the ice cream actually and then was going back. But like, maybe it did. And that's why I want them on the same menu as well. Yeah, you need them together. You experience them together, you want them together again. So even though they're separate courses, I would like them on the table at the same time. So I can relive that. For you, emphasis on you, for you, a match made in heaven. A match made in heaven. I was in heaven and I love heaven. I panicked here AJ because I didn't know we were doing a cheese course or a pre-dessert I was pretty happy with what I had so far I was struggling over a couple of the main ones anyway so cheese course I mean I should be the one who knows what I want for my cheese course but you're going to have a cheese drink no was that the panic it wasn't the panic it was baby bell I always knew I was having baby bell but I think I do I do want blue cheese but in a more traditional format aka blue cheese yeah but stilton you know when you get a stilton in a jar yeah like a ceramic jar yeah for some reason i prefer that to slices it feels like a cut above it feels like a cut above and you can spoon it out of there yeah and i want a spoon and i want a big jar of stilton and i want to eat it like a yogurt what that's not traditional that's not traditional that's the twist but also for when i'm a little bit overcome with the blue cheese taste i want a plate of cold and crisp pear slices delicious that that we're back yeah you lost me for a second yeah and now we're back and i want to you know occasionally in between great gobbels of blue cheese i'll take a little nibble of the pear slice just to bring my mouth back to life exactly and then i'm back in with the spoon and now you're back appreciating that cheese yeah you know you never thought of just spreading it on a cracker?

1:28:35No. Or just spreading the cheese onto the pear? Now and again. Why must the spoon be so heavily involved? Now and again I will spread the cheese onto a pear slice to mix it up a little bit. Okay, right, right. But that'll probably make me think I'm going to go back to my previous method of spooning this blue cheese into my mouth and freshening my palate up with a cold pear slice. It's so good. This is dangerous though. Guys, I can't believe you're in such a good nick.

1:29:01James Acaster: well we don't actually do this this is the dream wow just like a ball of cheese this is christmas and i would do that at christmas yeah so nice oh pre-dessert so i didn't didn't know what to do for this obviously i've eaten many nice pre-desserts in my life judging great british menu we get pre-desserts as part of it but i sort of set myself a rule for not picking anything from great british menu that because i want people to be able to go out and have things. But also it's like, then you're picking a favourite, like one of your friends. And I've already judged, you know. Yeah, yeah, it's not fair.

1:29:37Now, when I went to Japan last year, the whole point of the trip to Japan, as James knows, is sure you go out and have some nice food, you see some great sights, but then at about 10pm, you head to a 7-Eleven or a Lawson's or a Family Mart and you just fill the bag full of stuff. Every night filling like cans of whiskey soda, ice coffee for the next morning, so many snacks and the thing I got every single night in Japan I had to remind myself of the name of the company and I did that by searching the picture of it that I sent to James when I was in Japan is a bag of dark chocolate covered frozen banana slices yes oh that sounds so good they're from a company called Tropical Maria are they frozen?

1:30:19are they room temperature? yeah so they come they come out of the well room temperature interesting you say about room temperature they come out of the freezer section so they are frozen but I think they're quite ripe so you get that proper banana flavour so you eat them frozen they're like little ice cream treats Edder and the

1:30:34James Acaster: the mine that I do just throwing them in yeah how big are they like how good is this for people with sensitive teeth not good do you like to like really chew no because they're more chewy than hard they're not like those like hard bananas you know like banana chips they're less than chewy because I think they leave them to ripen for a decent amount of time so it's quite intense banana flavour and also a little bit softer. And even though, you know, because you get them out of the freezer, you buy them, take them back. They're thawing a little bit on the way back. So they've got a softness to them.

1:31:06But honestly, AJ, I was going through bags of these things. Oh my word. How much in a bag? Is this like a one kg sack? No, God, imagine. Well, I just need to know. It's more of like a sensible portion for one person. Like a little crisp packet. Yeah, maybe like 10 or 11 little banana slices in there. oh nice it's a 30 grammer yeah and it's only a pre-dessert we don't want to go crazy oh yeah don't go crazy

1:31:34what about dessert are we ready for that yes always so we talked about cheese at Christmas I mentioned cheese at Christmas yeah but cheese isn't just for have at Christmas yes but what are you about to do now yeah I'm about to go Christmas oh my you're dropping the C-bomb I'm dropping the C-bomb well well well Christmas pudding. Christmas pudding. But I'm eating it the day after it was the main dessert. So Boxing Day traditionally, depending on whenever this dream meal is happening, the Christmas pudding was served the day before and this is leftovers. And I'm warming it up by pan frying it in butter.

1:32:13And then I'm adding when it's really, really warm and I pan fried it in salted butter, putting it in a bowl and I'm adding brandy butter, single cream and cart door ice cream. That sounds good. That sounds good. The day after as well. Vanilla cart door ice cream, yeah. The day after as well, because everything just hits different the day after. Yeah, and it's just, essentially because I'm putting so much stuff on top, it just turns into a big bowl of thick Christmas soup.

1:32:40James Acaster: Yeah. That time between Christmas and New Year, it's all just Christmas pudding and then I'm tipping custard and brandy cream over it at the same time. Like it's cereal, right? Yeah, mashing it all up. Just walking around like it's some special milkshake I got from McDonald's. This is like a McFlurry, but Christmassy. Oh my gosh, yes. Like a festive ice cream. So that's what I'm doing. That sounds so good. I'll allow the C-bomb for that. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was risky. I'm going to pair it with a quick drink if I may. Oh. Well, do you know what? Go on. If I may drop another C-bomb, Chateau Eichemps.

1:33:25the greatest dessert wine in the world. Wow. Considered by many to be. I've had it a few occasions. It is, this is pricey stuff. So this is not, this is, I'm not buying bottles of this. This is a present. This is a gift. This is a gift from someone who's pretty flush, I'd say. Right. But it is just the most gorgeous sweet wine. It's, you know, and it's got all those flavors you want in there from the sweet wine, the sort of orange peel, the slightly honeyed, but just an almost floral. So it's light and it's got that dessert wine mouthfeel as well of being a little bit thicker. If I were to push the bar out and treat myself to a glass or a bottle of this, what am I pairing it with?

1:34:07Not the Christmas pudding. No, it's hard to pair it with. That's too sweet. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. Because I heard someone say the other day that the pudding should never be sweeter than the dessert wine. So the dessert wine should always be the sweetest thing. I mean, you could have it with cheese, but maybe a lighter, a lighter dessert. Okay. Maybe like, and this is just off the top of my head, why nuts don't get angry with me. Maybe like a tartan-tart, a tartan-tart. Okay. A creme brulee? A creme brulee, perhaps. Yeah. But honestly, I would just, it's the dream meal. I'm not paying for it.

1:34:40So I'd say bring me Chateau Hikem from loads of different vintages and I'm putting straws in them and I'm drinking it like a yop. Just guzzle, guzzle. Yeah, I'm guzzling it down. Wow. So that's my drink pairing. Cheers to you. Cheers to you, AJ. Cheers.

1:34:58James Acaster: Well, look. Top that. Not a million miles away from what Ed just said. Are we in fist bump territory? Well, maybe half fist bump territory. I'm going to, I've mentioned it on the podcast before, and this is a successful bullying that I did to a restaurant where they had it as a special, and I bullied them into putting it on permanently. and it's from a restaurant called Core C-O-R in Bristol and they do this tiramisu that instead of using sponge fingers they use panettone and it tastes like Christmas pudding tiramisu it's not quite a fist bump I don't think it's not quite a fist bump but it's Christmas pudding the flavour of Christmas pudding is there believe you me yeah hints of Christmas they've got a great orange and nutmeg on it as well oh it's very festive it's incredible again it was one of those ones where as soon as it went in my mouth time stood still and I saw the world differently and I was glad that I'd been born at all and that I got to experience such a thing.

1:35:55James Acaster: It does taste exactly like someone has taken the best elements of Tiramisu, best elements of Christmas pudding and they've thrown them together. That's so good. You know, like a little brat, I was like, they've got to have that on the menu permanently, blah, blah, blah. Because my tour manager had gone the day after I'd had it because I'd gone on about it so much. And they weren't there. Not on the menu and they said, oh, that was just for yesterday. So I came on the podcast, run my mouth off enough and then same tour manager was back in Bristol with someone else because he sometimes pictures of the people and he went back and they remembered him and they went oh well you're glad to hear it's now on the menu because he bullied us that's great success really glad I put my bully in there yeah so yeah that's I mean that won't surprise anyone who regularly listens to this podcast because I went on about it so much the first time and shout out to my mum she tried to recreate it for Christmas and you know what Mum for a first go it was great awful and Dad it wasn't awful you were texting me saying how bad it was I was not doing that Mum he's lying about that he's making that up and you know that he's a stirrer and Dad said it's how he wants to in Masu from now on so Dad clearly preferred it to the regular to in Masu you said it was all split I didn't say it was all split Mum I didn't say it you said it was like cottage cheese on toast I didn't say it was like cottage cheese on toast Mum please make it again for Christmas

1:37:16well these desserts aren't just for christmas they're for all year round yeah i agree and i hadn't planned to pair it with anything and i probably won't i'll i'll i'll leave it at that i think fair enough that's nice well thanks for that boys that sounds absolutely delicious if you if you if i may oh i'm so sorry i'm so sorry how dare you it's like i've wrapped it up i'll tried to skip the main course. Yeah. The fish course almost got vetoed. Yeah. And now this. Yeah, so Petit Four. Where are my manners? How could you forget the Petit Four? Oh, my God. I can't believe. So sorry. The Petit Four.

1:37:54Let me tell you, if you were working at a restaurant, you'd be fired pretty quickly if you did that to us. Yes. We would get you fired.

1:38:02James Acaster: Now, again, I mean, I'm almost going out of my way now to get a further roasting because this is, not going to say again you're going to hear this and go that doesn't sound nice yeah but it is it's incredibly nice and i couldn't stop eating it i went to my friend uh jonathan's house in la and he was cooking people in la yeah it was unnecessary to add la it's just after the running yeah why did i do that yeah my friend jonathan's house in la yeah idiot absolute idiot added that i'm not do what for the listener i'm not i'm not going to retake it i deserve I've got a friend who lives in LA and went for dinner and for dessert this is from a cookbook called The Family Meal by and now you'll probably know this person Ferran Adria yeah Spanish chef watermelon cubed drizzled with lemon syrup and this is where I might lose you dusted with ground up powdered menthol cough drops cough drops Menthol cough drops.

1:39:08James Acaster: So they got a bunch of cough drops, smashed them up with a rolling pin to smithereens, and then dusted them over the top of this cubed up watermelon and lemon syrup. You've changed, man. This is experimental, to say the least. It was. Can you get the drops from Boots? Oh, yeah. Wow. It's wherever you buy menthol cough drops from. Smash them up. So very easy to make this. Did your mum try and make this for Christmas as well? No, I can't convince her to do it. She'd probably end up pouring cowpaw over a honeydew. Mum? ignore this man and by the way that sounds nice Ed yeah it does actually so sorry people might try doing that yeah yeah if you if anyone listening wants to try pouring cowpaw on a honeydew and letting us know how it tastes please do because it does sound good no contact stuff but yeah my mum I have mentioned this to my mum and she refuses to make it because she thinks it doesn't sound nice yeah yeah but It was so nice.

1:40:01James Acaster: Again, I've chosen another thing where I can't describe the taste because I've never tasted it anywhere else. And when I was tasting it, like a lot of things on this menu, my eyes just turned into spirals that were going round and round. And I wasn't thinking anything about how it tastes. I was just like on this other plane being like, well, I'm in space right now. This is crazy. And now when I try and explain how delicious it tasted, it's very difficult. But it is also, I guess it tasted exactly how it sounds. So if that doesn't sound good to you, you might not like it. What was the texture? It was like a watermelon.

1:40:31Because it was so powdered. Crunchy. So it was like,

1:40:34James Acaster: they were powdered to the point where it was like sprinkling sugar on it. So it was like, it's like, you weren't like getting these like lumps of like cough drops. You were having a crunch food. Right. They were dusted all over the watermelon. And the lemon syrup was spread nice and evenly as well. So it was just like, you were just like, like that. Throwing the watermelon. Just throwing it all in. Keep the watermelon in your mouth. And it just had this kind of, first of all, you just get the hit of the watermelon with the sweetness of the, of the lemon syrup. and then this wave of like menthol cough drops.

1:41:03James Acaster: Wow. Would just go through your head, go through your airways. It was something else, man. It was so good. Well, you know, anything is worth a try, isn't it? I'm glad that you explained the texture though because I was envisioning sort of like watermelon with like chunks of lockets on them. Yeah, no, no, no. Sounded quite aggressive. No, no, no, no, no. Do not do that. And I'm pretty sure actually the cough drops. the name of the place? Well, the family meal was the cookbook. Was it from a cookbook? Yeah, it's at my friend Jonathan's house. so Jonathan did it at his house. Yeah. Yeah, okay, cool.

1:41:37It's made at his house.

1:41:37James Acaster: Yeah, yeah. In LA. Got pettifours? Yeah, Madeleine's from the French house. Oh, yes. What's this? Beautiful, beautiful Madeleine's, freshly baked. I mean, I don't normally like spongy, cakey things, but there's something about Madeleine's. The smell, the smell when they come out of the oven, there's crispy on the outside, soft and steaming in the middle. Absolutely delicious. And I think I've shouted out the Madeleines from St. John before. They're still great, but we went to the French house for my birthday and got the Madeleines at the end and it is joyous. Yeah, they were really good. Lovely way to end a meal.

1:42:16Yeah. Right. And I will have a Papi Van Winkle 15-year bourbon, please, as well. Yeah, just throw that in there. Just casual. It was on a previous menu I did, the Papi Van Winkle. still haven't been able to have it I had it once way before I chose it before it's so expensive I'm going nowhere near it you know the recommended retail price of these bottles is like 160 quid but once the shops get their hands on them they're so highly allocated that they're selling them for two and a half grand AJ oh my god and I'm going nowhere near that because nothing is worth two and a half grand and I'm including cars

1:42:55and I'm just a down to earth guy yeah he's a down to earth guy they sound so good I'm glad we've got some like cakey numbers in there as well because you know like my favourite dessert still is like custard and cake it's very underrated but you know that texture unbeatable those flavours

1:43:15James Acaster: nothing else scratches that itch no it doesn't comfort you'd love those madden you'd love them yeah so I want to try that I want to try I want to try a lot of the menu I'm stealing clay from the cheesy ice cream. I have a feeling that if you had to eat a dream menu out of mine and Ed's, you'd eat Ed's dream menu. I would. I would. Yes. You know, you've got some bangers in there though. Yeah, you do. You know, your bread course alone is exceptional. The bread course includes my bread course and two other delicious sounding breads. Yeah. That's true. Well, thank you for that, boys. I'm now going to read your menu back to you.

1:43:50Fasten your seat belts because we've had an absolute feast here. I'm going to have to loosen my seat belt. Yeah, yeah, loosen it, loosen it. Your aperitif, Ed, you're having Manuela from Taberna La Concha. Beautiful, delicious drink. James, you're having an oyster shell martini from Brat. Yeah. Chin chin to you both. We're going to wash it down with some water, but not just any water. Ed, Blackburn tap water. Exquisite choice as a Blackburn native myself. And James, you're having the hops infused sparkling water from Scarf. track brewing in manchester track brewing sounds interesting thank you worth a try worth a try now you are both used to being welcomed by the chef and of course you're both having a chef's welcome as a result ed you're having a cheeky little sausage roll from the hand and flowers and james you're you're having steak and chips on a cocktail stick from Paul Figg's personal chef.

1:44:55James Acaster: On a boat. On a boat! Oh, get out. Jesus. Listen. It's alright for some, isn't it? It really is alright for some. This is how the other half live. Yeah. I'm just experiencing it. I've come out of the lamp to just experience this. Yeah. Thank you. Poppadoms or bread? You both went, bread please. Ed, you've gone for a daigle from the door hut. Yes. And James, you're having a bread basket. You're having a smorgasbord, charred flatbreads in there, a daigle from the door huts in there, and then there's peach pineapple and a tangerine sandwich from the family mart. It sounds sweet, a little bit soggy, but you said it's good, so that's in the basket.

1:45:44Starter, big on starters, both of us here. Ed, you're having a spider crab omelette from Mountain. I can highly recommend. James, you're having king crab legs with frozen quince and brushed with savoury fudge from Norma. You really are a man of the people. Oh God. You know, we're going on to the fish now. I'm following on with a man of the people, you know, persona that you've got going on here, James. you're having the aged gilt head bream from Al Camila. Yes. Okay, I just wanted to make sure that I pronounced that. Al Camila, that's what we're going with. Ed, you're having oysters. Yeah, oysters.

1:46:29Chalantes. With spicy sausages from Rick Stein's seafood restaurant. Delicious, boys. Delicious. Now we're moving on to the main now. We're not missing that, even though we've had all of this food. Ed, you're having the dry-aged Slade's Down duck with a wholemeal loaf filled with confit duck from Scoff. Yes, please. And James, you're having a Beef Wellington again for the third year running from Ron Gastro Bar. Cheeky little sides now. Yes. Ed, you're going to have some barbecue miso butter hispy cabbage and salt and pepper chips. from any Chinese. And James, you're going to take the lime pickle slaw from Mildred's and you're also going to chuck in some Kentucky Fried Mussels from Ox Club.

1:47:23Yeah. You're just going to chuck them into your gob. Yeah, I am.

1:47:25James Acaster: Chuck, chuck, chuck. One after the other. Drink. Ed, you're going to have the Lopez de Herida Vina Tondonia Grand Reserva Rose Rhyne. Yes. Thank you, AJ. And sorry for that. What a gorgeous pronunciation for my dulcet tones. James, you're going to have the cardamom and coriander lassie from behind. Yes, please. In Hackney. And we're going to get some cheese, a big cheese course now. Ed, you're going to have a big jar of Stilton eaten like a yogurt with a plate of cold, crisp pear slices. And James, you're going to indulge in blue cheese ice cream from Osteria Giogorne di Massa in Venice. Yes, please.

1:48:20We're going to have a pre-dessert, obviously. Ed, bag of Tropical Maria dark chocolate covered frozen banana slices. Sounds exquisite. James, you're going to have the grappa panna cotta from Osteria Giogorne. The Massey sounds boozy and pricey. Thank you.

1:48:41James Acaster: Actually, it wasn't that pricey that place. I just pointed that out. Shut up. Oh, really? You do have to fly to Venice. But you do have to fly to Venice. Probably get a boat to the restaurant. Thank you, Paul. See you next time. Dessert now. Leftover Christmas pudding is all yours, Ed. We've pan-fried it in salted butter with brandy butter, single cream and vanilla cart d 'or ice cream and a glass of Chateau de Chem. James, Christmas pudding tiramisu from Coeur. Yes. Nice, simple. And finally, you're both finishing things off with a pettifur. Ed, you're having madeleines from the French house and a Papa Van Winkle 15-year bourbon.

1:49:26Yes, thank you. Two and a half gram bottle, sure. Why not? And James, you're having cubed watermelon drizzled with lemon syrup dusted with powdered menthol cough drops what a horrible way to end it oh no

1:49:43James Acaster: incredible way to end it that pete foie James is from Jonathan's house in LA yeah what a sunny gorgeous way to end it we're on a holiday yeah nice stuff I'm happy with those I'm very happy with it and you know I want to encourage the listeners to try my dishes before, you know, writing them off completely. Because I know I've done a bad job describing them there, but they are nice. I'm going to give it a go, you know, the next time. I don't think you are. The next time I'm on a boat, a plane, LA, I'll definitely give some of those a try. Or next time you've got a cough. The next time you've got a cough.

1:50:25James Acaster: Yeah, that's a good way to introduce yourself to that dish, actually. Wait till you've got a cough, try it. You might like it. exactly AJ thank you so much for guest hosting Off Menu you've been fantastic you've been very patient with us AJ so the menus were so long and thank you for guiding us through them and and Joe what regardless you made us feel like you were interested I genuinely was interested I still am interested I'm going to try some of these dishes some of them I'll swerve but some of them I'll try they sound amazing exquisite very decadent yes very decadent boys and Joe what I think while we're eating our dream menus we'll be watching Big Brother hosted by yourself and also Dress the Nation of course so we'll look forward to watching those later in the year thank you tuck in and enjoy the shows thanks AJ thanks AJ thank you

1:51:19wow James I'm full baby

1:51:20James Acaster: I'm full up I'm so full yeah you know I learnt a lot about myself in that episode yeah I've changed you've changed I'm an absolute bouj lord yeah and all my favourite meals sound disgusting no I think everything on there sounds incredible and obviously I do the thing I want to try most now is the watermelon with cough lozenges and you can do that you can go home and do that you can make that yourself yeah but could you find out from your friend Jonathan in LA if he gets if he gets phone reception up in the Hollywood Hills what particular lozenge he went for yeah yeah because if it was an American-only lozenge, I am touring to the States next year.

1:52:05That's exciting. Yes, come and see me on tour in America, and I will pick up a big bag of lozenges for my watermelon.

1:52:12James Acaster: Well, if you're going to see one of Ed's shows, bring some cough lozenges with you, and menfold cough sweets, and give them to him. No, no, no. We'll find out from Jonathan which ones. Okay. Well, I think your menu's had a delicious, Ed. Thank you. As did yours. It's so beautifully described as well. Thank you, AJ, again, a fantastic waiter. Yeah, so good. Do tune in to Big Brother and Dress the Nation. Yes, AJ is such a good vibe. Yeah, absolutely fantastic. We should go out for a meal with AJ, shouldn't we? Yeah, I mean maybe one of your places by the sound of the reaction that... Well, we'll go to Mountain.

1:52:45James Acaster: She seems to like Mountain anyway, so yeah, we'll go to Mountain. I've never been, so I'll have a lovely time. We'll go to Mountain. We've been sent some food recently. The Flapjackery sent us some Flapjacks. Thank you for that. Yes, so we talked about them in Dermot's episode. and we're very lucky to have been sent some. Absolutely delicious. And Daisy Ridley mentioned This Isn't Sausages and they've sent us a lot of This Isn't Sausages and Benito's a vegetarian. He's a very happy little boy. Yeah. And actually, while we're on the subject, thank you Benito for another 100 fantastic episodes. Yes, thank you Benito.

1:53:14James Acaster: Editing them and recording them and producing them. We assume they've been well edited. We don't listen. We don't listen but we don't listen because we don't have to because we know we're in good hands. Yeah. And we were there. We were there which actually, you know, usually would mean I would listen because I was worried about if I sound like a Wally. Yeah, but you know you sound like a Wally. I know it. Roots Coffee sent us some coffee. Thank you so much. It's always good to have nice coffee in the studio and in the office for our wonderful guests and us and also the people who work here. Talking to the people who work here.

1:53:44Tokla's Bakery sent us some lovely pastries. Yes. Did we get a sniff of those? No, we didn't because the horrible little trolls who all work here that Benito chains to their desk and doesn't allow them natural light, they all snaffled the pastries because they needed to get their blood glucose levels up because they're working so hard yeah that is what happened we came in

1:54:03James Acaster: and they went we're so sorry we ate your pastries yeah well there we go and it's another 300 episodes yeah I guess we'll do another 100 more yes please and uh if we sound tired it's just because we had a massive meal just now yeah and also that episode was longer than normal that was a long episode that was so long AJ kept the energy up though is a professional yeah that's why AJ hosts live television We were tired because on our own podcast, we deliberately made it longer by picking way more things than we needed to. And we're tired and annoyed at that. Yes. Yes. That's why we're very lucky to have a podcast at all.

1:54:42James Acaster: Yes. Because, I mean, you do host TV shows, to be fair to you. But absolutely not. For one thing I learned from this podcast, day one, I'd be like, I'm out. I'm not hosting this TV show. This is exhausting. But thank you for listening, of course. Loyal listeners, 300 episodes. We hope you enjoy the ride of the next 100. See you later and keep things off menu.

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