Sara Cox

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3:50Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the microwavable melting middle chocolate pudding of humour, putting it in the microwave of the internet, removing it from the microwave of the internet, flipping it into the bowl of humour, trying to get it all out in one go. It absolutely doesn't do it. Then you've just got to fuck it out with a spoon of chat and it's just ruined. It's not melting middle anymore. It's just a big pile of chocolate podcast.

4:15James Acaster: Are you cooking it at any point during that? in the microwave put it in the microwave it'd be as soon as like close the door and then open the door and bring it out again yeah but sometimes I have to cut some of the process out for these because they're quite neat analogies that work perfectly so you just got to sort of you got to be economical with how you do it that is it Gabble my name is James Acaster together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and ask them their favourite ever start a main course dessert side dish and drink not in that order and this week our guest is Sarah Cox Sarah Cox radio legend such I'm going to say national trej yeah TV legend national trej so excited to have Sarah on the podcast we grew up watching Sarah Cox be one of the coolest celebs in the country damn right that's why we're so cool yeah because we grew up watching Coxie yeah and took a few leafs out of her book let's not tell Sarah that huh I don't want you to tell Sarah because you're cool that's why I'm cool but she'll think that's cool when she sees how cool I am that's yeah yeah okay man Sarah Cox is the host of the Radio 2 Breakfast Show.

5:19She's also an author, James.

5:21James Acaster: Yes, her latest book, The Truth of Us, is out now. And make sure to check out Sarah's podcast, The Teen Commandments. She got a pod. Must be nice to have a pod. We should get a pod. We should start doing a podcast. We should get a pod, man, instead of this TV show we do now. Yeah, yeah. Hey, you're on tour with Fresh Hell, of course. Yes, thank you. Starts January 2027. EdGamble.co.uk for tickets and dates. March is the date for the London Palladium shows four London Palladium shows count them one two three four tickets available edgamble.co.uk but listen I love Sarah Cox you love Sarah Cox yes but if Sarah Cox says the secret ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable we will have to kick Sarah out of the dream restaurant and this week the secret ingredient is Cox Orange Pippin Cox's Orange Pippin it's a type of apple that has the word Cox in it yeah and we don't know that could be her family's apples oh yeah so she might say hey that's personal I need that apple for my dessert because they're my family's apples yeah they grow on my family tree and we will say well you can go outside and eat that apple because you're not eating it in the dream restaurant so climb up that tree and you can jump out of the tree yeah you're a whole family yeah but hopefully she doesn't say that because I hate to tell Sarah Cox to jump out of a tree yeah this is the Off Menu Menu of Sarah Cox

6:50Welcome Sarah to the Dream Restaurant

6:54James Acaster: Welcome Sarah Cox to the Dream Restaurant We've been expecting you for some time Oh this is amazing, I've been waiting for ages Thanks for having me Can you tell when people have actually heard the podcast before Because they don't say hi to Ed When he does that they're just waiting for him You're waiting for the genie I was like, go genie Yeah, yeah. I'll be really excited about. This is good. Like, you know, sometimes you're on a waiting list for a restaurant for a while. Yeah. You know, you're waiting to get that reservation. And sometimes it lives up to it. And sometimes it doesn't. But I think the dream restaurant always lives up to it.

7:25Yeah, because it's your dream. Absolutely. It's always the dream is realised. I guess we could let Sarah down. We could let you down. Never, never, never. I mean, I've been preparing this. Well, I feel like my whole life's been leading up to this moment. because, you know, for the past, since I heard I was coming on, waking up like, oh, does that veg go well with that? Do I go land or sea? Do I traverse the land for the starter and then dive into the oceans for the main? Oh, wow. Yeah, that's a good way round. I guess sea to land would be... Sea to land is the classic, isn't it? That is the classic.

8:03James Acaster: It's like evolution, mate. Yeah, it is. Cooling out of the water. A little egg there. Is it an egg? little egg crawled out the sea the little legs sticking out the bottom of the egg and sort of going ha ha ha I like to think have you been running your menu by other people I sent it to my Megan who loves the pod there's other notes on there so it's quite confusing but she was enthusiastic she was like great can't wait to listen she was worried tell us about Megan Megan is my, she used to be my producer at Radio 1 back in the day and we became really good mates. We worked together on weekends where I'd sort of generally turn up but hung over.

8:46Yeah. Like chuffing on a fag. They had a smoking room back in those days. I mean, can you imagine? Wow. It's so weird.

8:52James Acaster: Bring it back. Bring back smoking. It's great. Who would be in the smoking room? Oh, I mean, I met George Michael in there once. Great. I said, you've got to be in the smoking room if you want to meet George Michael. It's where all the cool people are. And I was having a ciggy, get this, during my breakfast show, like really early. You know, 8 a.m. Shuffing on a fag. You like whack a song on, run for a ciggy in the smoking room. Put a long song on, go and spark a cup. Now, this is always good. I love speaking to DJs about the long song when you know you can go for a break. I got caught out this morning.

9:26I put on a two and a half minute song, went for a wee. Oh, what are you thinking? Day one of DJ school, it's got to be at least three and a half minutes because I'm quick. and also to make it worse, I got back and I could see they were flapping in the studio and it was Alex Warren. I opened my mic and obviously called him a lazy get for doing such a short song. And then the worst thing was that what I do is I let it all play out and then I open my mic and I didn't even have my cans on and I just went, every last second there of Alex Warren. Just got to let the music breathe sometimes. Every last second.

9:59And then the worst thing was, as I then confessed on it, was that I was seeing if I should do a French tuck or not with my T-shirt in my jeans. I was like fucking around on air. Six million-ish people. You did have the French tuck when you came in. I did. And I thought it looked great. Yeah, and now I've got rid of it. There's still a cool T-shirt there. Because of YouTube and stuff. I thought I'd... I didn't want to look potato-y around the midriff.

10:24James Acaster: Yeah, I'll get you in the comments for that. I go, that French tuck. But also, it's a food podcast. Yeah, so I can... Looking like a potato is perfect. Oh, yeah, true, true. It's my hair streaky. I was trying to think of other food-based looks. What did you chat to George Michael about in the smoking room? He complimented my bag. I had a sort of rubber bag and he liked it. Yes. He was on with Joe Wiley who was on after me in those days. And I think that was it. But I actually went to his house. He put on an art exhibition. This feels like a really weird cheese dream. It definitely happened. and I went to, we went to like a little after party at his house and he was with Kenny at the time.

11:06He was very protective of him, quite rightly. Kenny wasn't keen on me and my friend who was there, Tariq. And I could tell he kept eyeing us like these muggles we've let into our, you know what I mean, pop superstar house, quite right. Because within minutes, Pepsi was at the fridge of Pepsi and Shirley and I was showing her to get me a Coke. Get me a Coke, Pepsi, thinking it was hilarious. That is funny. That is funny. If you have that opportunity to say, get me a Coke, Pepsi, you've got to say it. I just couldn't resist it. I doubt she's heard that before. Looking back, I'm like, she definitely has.

11:43And he gave me a lift home in his Range Rover. Wow. The famous Range Rover. I mean, he was that desperate to get rid of me, he left his own party to be like, I'll take it home. And yeah, and dropped me off in that same Range Rover that ended up I think the same one in the window of Snappy Snaps remember he had a crash oh yeah I'd forgotten that yeah I'd forgotten that there's other things that if I'm ranking my George Michael knowledge yeah obviously there's things yeah there's things above that there's like the yeah music yeah the Elton John duet yeah amazing career and stuff before the Snappy Snaps incident

12:21James Acaster: I'm obviously thinking about the toilet oh it's a shame isn't it yeah Ed let himself down. I went on a bike tour in America. It's not my number one George Michael moment. I went on a bicycle tour once in LA and they take you to that toilet. Do they? Is there a plaque up? There's no plaque. No. But everyone knows. Everyone knows it's the toilet. They're all saying it out loud as they're weeing. And obviously in the UK, our equivalent is in Shepherd's Bush. The Ginglick venue is an old public toilet where the man from Stepton's son got caught cottaging. No way. Yeah. Well, here's another one for you.

12:55the back of the pineapple pub in Bolton where I used to live. There was a men's toilet there and my mum would be like, they're at it again. And you'd go out the back and it was like a proper backstreet, like Coronation Street style, sort of gin old backstreet at the back of the, I call it a beer garden at my mum's pub. It wasn't really, it was an area where my mum would be like, they're on the wacky backy again out there, Jackie, patrolling. And you'd go out and she'd be like, there's a builder's van and a posh salesman car. She was always obsessed that there was like a salesman, you know, going in there with like a bit of rough from a builder.

13:33That's nice. I mean, when are those two guys hanging out normally, right? You know, go on, you know. I didn't mind. I was like, pop a bit of Barry White on him, a couple of scented candles. Let him go for it. Good for them.

13:43James Acaster: Pineapple as well is like, that's like Cone at Swingers. That's the Swingers thing. Oh God, that's what it was. Yeah, it's the Pineapple Pub asking for trouble, really. I believe it's an upside down pineapple. Okay. Is what they do on the cruises. They'll put like an upside down pineapple on the door. Do they? And then before you know it, if the ships are rocking, don't come. If the ships are rocking, it's just normal. Yeah, it has to be. If you're on a ship, every time it rocks, you can't be like, who's having sex? Kind of like there's swingers on this ship. Yeah, yeah. People stop shagging for two seconds.

14:18James Acaster: I'm trying to enjoy my cruise. you got a new book out Sarah I have it's called The Truth of Us and I think it's the best one I've I think you said read that'd be big edit it's the best book I've read that would be amazing though no you should back yourself it's the best book you've ever read definitely yeah it is and what a privilege for you to read it as it was being written yeah there was all the twists and all the turns how am I coming up with this stuff but it's definitely the best one it's the best one I've written but it came out at the same time that I started the Radio 2 breakfast show.

14:51So I feel like I was like, I've got my dream job. Oh, yeah, I've got a book out. So it's really nice to talk about it now because I'm really proud of it. And you know, you've written books. So kind of like you work really hard on books. It's hard work, isn't it?

15:07James Acaster: Especially fiction. I mean, that's really hard. Yeah, the memoir was fine because, I mean, my family, they provided so many little tales and stories, but to make stuff up. but it's my third work of fiction my third novel and it's kind of like a love story it's two two best friends who fall in love guys these guys inspo and and they live next door to each other I kept that I was inspired by looking through into my next door neighbour Sharon's kitchen does Sharon know this? Sharon and Andy Shandy got them knocked to their face and she I did tell her at a neighbouring gathering and she was like don't write a book about me I'm like stand down Sharon it was just inspired by the window that's where it ends yeah um and so yeah they've they sort of fall in love but they can't be together one's got to follow a traditional path and be married uh there's a bit of a nod to my husband because he's jewish so there's like nice friday night dinners and rosh hashanah it's all food based yeah rosh hashanah lunches and and then on the other side sort of the little jewish girl looking through the window and seeing like the christmas trees and the decorations and you know so and there's Raven there's Ibiza there's a bit of me in there it's lovely I'm really chuffed with it so yeah the truth of us I remember the guy who directed Spirited Away he said that in every story you've got to make a moment or make time for a meal to be prepared and stuff like that so like when you're writing the book and you've got these moments in there when you're putting them in there what are you thinking what's it adding to the story or saying about the characters what are you like using that to get across?

16:40Well, there's a lovely bit where they are rustling up. So the mums become friends first and it turns out that the girls are born at the same hospital on New Year's Eve and you know when there's a big fuss about New Year's Eve babies and stuff. And there's a Welsh call, I think it is C-A-W-L, like a traditional Welsh stew. A stew, yeah. Yeah, that's being made, that's sort of salty and brings these two women together. But I mean, the Rosh Shanna food actually is lovely to write about because I go around to my mum-in-law's and it's absolutely delicious as meatballs and vegetable lasagna and so much food these like tomato salads and loads of challah bread and stuff so it was like you know it's what it's sort of just bringing families together and it's just it's really it's really pleasurable to write about food and it was nice with them I rang my in-laws and asked in the 80s what they'd be because we'd zip back to the 80s in the book what they'd be drinking and it'd be i can never quite say is it dubonet dubonet dubonet yeah sweet isn't it they were all on the dubonet in the 80s i imagine with a shoulder pad on the go yeah a clip on dangly earrings so yeah it's nice to nice to you know bring all of that in

17:51James Acaster: was there anyone at george michael's party called max she could have introduced pepsi to them so you're going back we're going back to something we talked about a while ago yeah it's interesting just to see the process isn't it it doesn't have to be linear this point so yeah we're doing full Christopher Nolan today did you think about the Pepsi Max thing at the time when we were talking about that or have you just thought about it now thought about it at the time but couldn't find a gap to get it in yeah it was like I didn't really know where I was going to fit it in there and then Sarah said something that reminded me of it yeah and then suddenly we're doing it now I was like I'll do it now I love it I thought maybe for like eight minutes, you'd just been thinking, hmm, Pepsi, Pepsi.

18:36James Acaster: I'd been thinking about, you know, the food in your book and all that stuff. But I had that there ready to go. Yeah. And I thought, do it now. Yeah, do it now. In other words, you know what reminds me? Did you ever see that brilliant birthday card? Is it the far side who do those great birthday cards? Yeah, Gary Larson. Someone talking to their dog. Yeah. And what did you say? Is that the... Gary Larson. Oh, really? Is that the cartoonist? Yeah, the artist, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, the artist should say. And there'd be a dog there, and if the dog's called Rex, and it'd be like the person talking to the dog, and the dog just hears, blah, blah, blah, blah, Rex.

19:10Blah, blah, blah, Rex. And I think my kids sometimes, so they hear me, and I talk to them, they just hear blah, blah, blah, and then their name occasionally as I'm wanging on them.

19:20James Acaster: Yeah, and that's how I listen to guests, is that what you're saying? Or you had blah, blah, blah, blah, Max. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for about 10 minutes. there wasn't a max, but there could have been. You know what I mean? I was too focused on Pepsi. Well, I'm going to jump even further back now to before we started recording. You said you'd had a handbag sausage. Yeah, I've always got a sausage in my handbag. Although I've had to cut down on them. On the handbag sausages. Yeah, because before I started the Radio 2 Breakfast show, I was like, I listened to Emma Barnett talking about food on another podcast.

19:59How dare you? And I'm so sorry. And she's one of my broadcasting heroes. I love her from the Today Show. Today Show, isn't it? And on Radio 4. And she was talking about when she gets up early to do that show, she gets up at three o 'clock and all this, and she recommended this sausage that she gets, right? So I was like, I love her. I'm going to copy Emma. Yeah. And she also sometimes, occasionally, will have a hard-boiled egg. So the first week or so of breakfast, I was bang on the hard-boiled eggs. And I'd have handbag sausages because they're sealed. They're like posh pepperamis. They're like grass-fed beef.

20:38There's no bad stuff in there. Where are they from, these handbag sausages? It's like keto something, it's called. Right. I mean, they're yummy. They've got summer sausage. They've got jalapeno ones. Got teriyaki. Quite sweet.

20:54James Acaster: jalapeno for me please yeah yeah they got a bit of a kick to them and I was just getting through them but I was getting through them like I probably would like having a tangerine or having a biscuit I was eating full on sausage like and after a couple of weeks I'm thinking I'm putting a bit of timber on here what am I doing differently I'm still going to the gym and I like to eat quite healthily but I'm like I'm a bit of and I thought it's a sausage yeah Timber Barnett sausage recommendations and I'd just been boshing through the sausages. How many were you on a day? How many handbag sausages?

21:25Knocking like three or four maybe. That's not healthy, is it? Yeah. I'd get in a bit of traffic. Sausage. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Put on a long song. Sausage. Yeah, just like if you were stressed. Sausage. Stress. Sausage. It's like having a cigarette, basically. It was basically, yeah. Did you have to go to the sausage room? Yeah. Me too. George Michael. Okay, about eight jobs. Yeah, there we go. real shame they do posh pepperamis in M &S now yeah do they and they're very very tasty but you're eating them going it is just a pepperami it's basically pepperami in a sparkly cardigan

22:04James Acaster: we've been saying this lately we will get into your menu in a bit but like M &S currently are knocking it out of the park yeah oh yeah you love it this is conversations we genuinely have off mic yeah we text each other being like M &S are really knocking it out of the park they're in a golden age right now like there was a time a while ago probably when we were starting stand up so it's like nearly 20 years ago now where they really upped their game and everyone was like M &S got some good stuff and when they got into the service stations that was huge yeah that was massive yeah it was massive it was when Percy Pigs were first I think now there are so many that the chocolate range is absolutely banging this pepper army thing I'm going to try that like the egg pots they really upped their egg pots the egg pots with the bean you like the bean the smoky beans I love it you like it because of Melvin with his hacks yeah I do a proper hack do some it is a hack yeah I make it eggier by adding more egg yeah Melvin drives to a car park to see someone and he says that's a hack to pick up his dinner I love that man so brilliant I'm worried about how okay it is to eat an odd boiled egg in the BBC okay because they whiff you don't know it's like when you're a smoker you don't know that you smell a sour sort of stale smoke they do stink and if you're eating eggs like you can't smell it but other people probably can yeah how are you transporting the eggs good question I boil them the night before yeah and then I try to put them in iced water which is a bit fancy as soon as they're boiled so they don't go grey because I'm getting up early enough without having a grey egg yeah and then especially because of the sausage ban I need to look forward to my breakfast and then did you go cold turkey with the sausages?

23:57James Acaster: it sounds like you're setting yourself up for a joke I know it really does but did you not try and sort of just like cut down on the sausages? yeah no I just stopped I thought you told us your own this morning yeah I did actually because I was thinking about today and I thought we've still got something so I promise we promise I'm really good now with the sausage I promise there's just still some in the pantry which is my son's recently moved out for uni because he was boshing through them as well I was like sausage doesn't fall far from the tree so I'm making the eggs nice I'm peeling them putting them in what was a form a takeaway tub I'm using a fistful as a buffer a fistful of kitchen roll so they're not boshing them yeah yeah and then in the morning no salt no salad cream nothing I'm just eating one during perhaps like just a naked salt and pepper no yeah naked egg I'm raw dogging it if you're worried that it stinks best thing to do at the BBC eat it next to Sally Traffic or near Sally Traffic she'll tell you if it stinks or not she ain't keeping it in her head do you know what I mean everyone else might try and be polite Sally Traffic will go just so you know that stinks James has got a long running feud with Sally Traffic I don't know if you know this I think I've heard you on air before when you've been on she knows she knows she knows I don't like her Sally Traffic knows how I feel about her we don't mince our words me and Sally to the point now where I almost like you know at the end of Anchorman when Vince Vaughn says to Ron Burgundy he says like I hate you with every fibre of me but god damn I respect you.

25:46James Acaster: That's how I feel about Sally Traffic. I think we're at that point now, Sally and I. I mean, she's wild, isn't she? You never know what she's going to come out with. You eat an egg near her, she'll tell you if that stinks. I'll say that in her favour. That is a good tip, to be fair. That is good. Unfortunately, the way I thought you were going with that was saying, eat it near Sally Traffic because she stinks so much that no one will smell the egg. Did you think that as well? I totally thought that. I know he's got a feud with Sally Traffic, but that feels like overstepping a line. Yeah, as much as I've butted heads with Sally in the past, I will say she smells nice.

26:19James Acaster: I'll admit that she doesn't stink. Have you sniffed her? No, but maybe next time I might try and have a little sniff. Have a little whiff, yeah. But I've never noticed a bad odour. And to her credit, she did, last time I was in, she used a key card to get me into the box so I could go to the toilet. that was a kindness that she didn't need to do because we'd got a fraught history did you get back in alright because there's one toilet where you have to go through a door that you can't get back you're just fucking standing there no Sally waited for me I still slagged her off on air as soon as I got as soon as I got as soon as I got on mic she waited for you to finish toilet yeah she just waited waited by that door what a woman I don't like that what type I mean how long were you in there for was it a Janet we call it a Janet on the show this is real inside in for because I once went and I managed to do a very speedy yeah well I'd say if you're going for I did radio for a bit if I was going for a Janet it would have to be November rain we'd have to put November rain on I thought you're talking about the quality of the shit I was like oh dear it it would have to be I'd have to be like on the verge of November rain if you put on a Janet Jackson you're sorted that's fantastic right okay because you're looking at four minutes 11 and so you can relax.

27:42Yeah, that's not relaxing though. Four minutes is not relaxing. No, I mean, and I'm washing hands properly as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't doubt it. Good to hear. And I like just that me and the team, we're like, I'm going to go and see Janet. And they're all like, okay. And Lizzie sometimes will be all go, Lizzie Frisbee, best name ever for a radio producer. That's funny. That's a real name. Yeah, Lizzie Frisbee. Isn't it great? It sounds like a cartoon character from the 90s. She kind of is like a cartoon character. She knows Penny Crayon. She reminds me a little bit. Have you seen Trolls?

28:18There's like a sort of slightly... It doesn't feel like this is going to be a compliment. No, it is. There's a cute sort of giraffe little character. Yeah. It reminds me a bit of her. She's a really enthusiastic dancer, but super clumsy. So she'll do a big dance move in the studio and like punch one of the overhead lights because she's quite tall. She's amazing. but she'll always be like send Janet my love I'm like that's just weird yeah we can't don't extend the analogy yeah it's too you'll stretch it too much

28:47James Acaster: we all start with Still of Sparkling Water yeah Coxie I forgot about that I'm such a mega fan you listen to every episode you forgot about Still of Sparkling Water we got you got excited yeah you totally got me I think I'd go I think I will just go still I don't mind occasionally sparkling I was trying to think what it makes you feel it makes you feel like you're rubbing your tongue on a doormat sometimes, sparkling. Yeah. Do you get that? Yeah, I get that. Yeah, fair enough. So I just like still hydrate. It's supposed to be like room temperature water. It's supposed to be good. Apparently it hydrates you more because your body doesn't have to be like, ah, this is cold.

29:22I've got to adjust it. Oh, so you'd be using energy. Your body would be using energy to warm the water up. Exactly. Got you. Yeah, and I'm a busy woman. Yeah, you don't have time to warm the water up in your body. Exactly. just need it Bosch get it in hydrate nice is that what happens yeah we've just decided oh that's cool if you say science stuff confidently people just believe it

29:45James Acaster: that's good what other science stuff can we make up so people believe it well we've got the the doormat thing it's like licking a doormat yeah even though I'm assuming I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that none of us have licked a doormat to be able to prove that I wouldn't lick my doormat right now I tell you it's what's going on it's bad stuff is it one of the cats yeah we've got to get a new one yeah my cats are obsessed with our doormat yeah yeah have you put Vicks Vaporub under it? we cleaned it and we but we've had to like my partner has put one of the litter trays on the doormat yeah to kind of like try and transition so now we've got this phase now that I'm dying to get out of oh have they been going for Janet's on the doormat?

30:25not Janet's

30:26James Acaster: no not Janet's but I guess whatever a short one is Blink 182's Blink 182's perfect what's my age again? and like so like all the small things that would work better so there's a litter tray on there now but it just means like it's the first thing that you know I open my front door that's the first thing that hits me so hang on is it on the door mat so is it moving with the door as you open the door you've got to gently open it it's a good question weirdly what do you think about this my front door opens outwards into the street no way that is that's mad it's mad and every time someone's leaving my house they think they're locked in the house.

31:05James Acaster: They think I'm like I'm like the Zodiac killer. And I've locked them in. And they're like what the fuck? And I'm like you've got to just calm down and open it outwards please. Have you ever hit anybody as you've pushed it open on the street? Hit once. Did you not go straight onto the street? Yeah it goes. Hit a football that a kid had kicked as I opened it. That's kind of cool. Did it score? Yeah yeah yeah I scored a goal. Everyone really respected me. Kids thought I was really cool. Yeah you're the champion of the neighbourhood. Yeah yeah. That guy's the coolest guy ever. That's what I ever say.

31:36We've had it a lot with our two. We've got three cats. Yeah. Two of them have been peeing on the doormat. So what does work, but you've got to keep it up. Your nose smells quite nice-ish. Is Vic's Vapor Rub or Vic's Bath Crystals underneath your doormat. I mean, the kids are just like, what are you doing? Because I'm on my hand with a poo bag on my hand. So you don't want to get Vic's Vapor Rub. And rubbing it underneath the doormat and dotting it on the doormat. because it's so strong they don't want to wear it. Or you cover it in tinfoil, but then you look like Watson chops off of EastEnders who went mad.

32:11James Acaster: Don't you? Don't know. Don't know what that is. Do you not remember Joe? It's still funny though. Joe. Joe from EastEnders. I do. He went mad and he decorated his entire flat in tinfoil. Joe Wicks. Was he a Wicks? No, Joe. Isn't Joe Wicks the exercise guy? Not the exercise guy, but I think, wasn't he David Wicks' son? Oh, yeah. I think he might have been called Joe Wicks. Was he? Maybe. Look it up. That's great knowledge. That's a great... And I remember this, when I used to watch EastEnders, this was, and Phil Mitchell called him the Bolton fruitcake. That could be my dessert today. It was Joe Wicks.

32:46Joe Wicks. Yeah. Brilliant knowledge. Thank you very much. I've done that. Thank you. But yeah, I remember that. Tinfoil and cats hate tinfoil. It's weird, isn't it? Yeah. I don't know. That's another science thing we don't, we could make up why. Oh yeah, good point. Yeah. Could be they don't like seeing their own reflection. Yeah. I mean, I think, yeah. They're ashamed of themselves. Do you like my science face? Did you like my science face?

33:09James Acaster: Well, I believed it immediately when you looked at me like that. Pop lums on bread! Pop lums on bread, Sarah Cox! Pop lums on bread! Yay! Now, bread. Bread. But I forgot to ask for an amuse-bouche. Oh, go ahead. Please, feel free. An amuse-bouche straight out of the fryer is a McDonald's hash brown in the paper bag, please but literally straight out the fryer in a little paper bag and I want to eat it holding it with both hands like a gerbil eats things because I last ate one at a service station when it was fresh out the fryer and I'd not had one for years and it was amazing coming back from Bolton and my husband just watched me like are you okay and I was like oh my god are you dipping it in anything no just straight in as nature intended no salt or pepper no second shout out to completely raw dogging a meal yeah no seasoning no Sarah Cox doesn't do seasoning.

34:00James Acaster: That's going to be the main... None of that, Mark. My condiment shelf, though, funnily enough, I do actually like a lot of... My friend once... It kind of makes the party sound boring. She spent a lot of the party looking at my condiment shelf. She was in awe at all the jars and the sauces and the chutneys. Oh, that's nice. That is a wild part. That's what I'd do at someone's party. Oh, a chutney on a hash brown, man. I'd love that. Yeah. Love a good chutney on a hash brown. Oh, yes, please. Do you love hash brown? Love them. They're great, aren't they? On the podcast in the past, he's been annoyed at me for saying that, for me, the hash brown is the best part of a full English.

34:36James Acaster: Well, I don't think it belongs on a full English. He gets annoyed. It's American. Don't argue. You're breaking my heart here. Hash browns are American. I don't like any other hash browns. I'm not really that mad on them unless they're the McDonald's ones. I think they've really cracked the sort of thinness of the crisp on the outside. I like tater tots are huge for me. Love them. If I see tater tots on a menu, I'm getting tater tots. Yeah, love them. Or the alphabet. What were they called? Those funny alphabet. Do you remember the alphabet potatoes? They're pretty good. Oh, yeah. Did they have a name?

35:09Were they like that? I know, because you've got alphabet is spaghetti. Didn't they have a more fun name? They did have a more fun name. Alphabites. Alphabites. We never had that. I was trying to come up with what it was. Oh, yeah, we weren't allowed that sort of stuff. All I had was alphabet potato. Too fun if it was in a shape. Yeah, same. My mum's like, I've not slaved over this, you know, know, ham shank all day.

35:28James Acaster: You have your alphabites. You have some trendy food, yeah. But that's educational, surely, because you could get the numbers as well. You could make little words. Yeah, exactly. That's why I wrote my first novel, was completely in alphabites. In alphabites. At the first draft. So yeah, please, if that's a little amuse-bouche. Oh, of course. Okay, exciting. It's going to be so fresh out the fryer, it's actually going to be dangerous. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I really like. Too hot. Yeah. Can I have a security man stood there with an earpiece going, just wait, mum? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he can cue me to eat it.

36:00James Acaster: 100%. Absolutely. The hand-run security guard, yeah. But you want bread? Definitely. So I'd love, please, a bread basket. And in it is, I have to have some hollow bread because I absolutely love it. Buttery, sweet, gorgeous, with some lovely salty butter on it. Very shiny. So shiny. Whenever I see it, I'm like, so perfect and shiny. So delicious. so delicious do you not think that whenever I see it do I think it's so perfect and show no it's nice that you think that every time you see it I do think that so show cat could see the reflection yeah cats would be terrified Daniel's in Temple Fortune best place to get your hollabread that I know of that's where I get mine from you've got to eat I don't know if it's I eat the bum of it you know like the just go and grab a little you avoid the shiny bit you go around the back yeah go around the back interesting okay yeah yeah you get to just pull away because it's sort of stretchy as well that's a pro tip because I think beginners for hollow bread would be like straight for the shiny bit right they're like a magpie with that stuff yeah but you got to go around the back you get busted immediately if you go for the shiny bit but if you take away a bit of the bum no one's going to notice no one's going to notice Sanzio local Italian does garlic bread that is really small like a 7 inch record quite thin and delicious.

37:25Always a DJ. Always thinking of DJ terms. Oh no, the pressure. A mini disc size. A little hat of butter. So yeah, shout out to Sanzios. Lovely little local Italian, northwest London. It's gorgeous. Nice. And then my husband's dad and stepmom used to have a place in Saint-Paul-de-Vence in south of France. Wow. It was stunning. we were gutted when they sold it I'm not saying it was the best thing about the marriage because that would be unfair because he's a lovely man one of top five would you say yeah top five reasons and the holler bread but husband is very very lovely and his dad had this place and it was gorgeous and we used to go and we'd go to occasion very special occasions go to the column door and I used to take my mates including Megan who I mentioned earlier on and we called ourselves the five go French

38:23so naff in it when I say that

38:25James Acaster: so up Ben's yeah he loves it loves it you called yourself that what's up is the five go yep and so we used to go there and drink I mean the first thing we'd do is go to the supermarket none of us really drink that much now but we'd go and get gallons of rosé of you know great beautiful and get a French stick from the local blongerie and we'd go to the Colum d 'Or and they'd do this starter which is really obviously iconic restaurant and Picasso used to pay for his food giving him little paintings and things and we'd be there just doing selfies with this starter because it was like a vegetable basket but you know for like 20 quid and they'd just be like a carrot stuck out not even peeled and like a bidder it was this funny we'd just be posing with the vegetables in it making a terrible impression so I'd definitely get a fresh steak Would you try and pay for the meals by doing them like a link?

39:18Yes you do I can be like, I can do them amusing. Yeah, yeah. Go like, it's 8.35, that was Dua Lipa, okay.

39:27James Acaster: I wouldn't have the confidence to like pay with a joke. No. Yeah, that's good. Because that's when they can just, because that's not like, if they don't find it funny, they're like, try again. Yeah, you'd pay for half the starter. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say how much, how long of one of your bits would it take to cover a prawn cocktail at a restaurant? How many minutes? It depends how good the prawn cocktail is, but if it's a decent one I don't know I'd be lucky if they found any of my stuff funny don't say that so much of it now you have to have seen all my other stuff to understand oh really I'd be fucked yeah you've got to be well immersed in the James Acastle cinematic universe not made it easy for myself so people who come see you know they've been at all the other gigs largely hopefully but some of them haven't and they bring people I'd be perfectly happy to receive a free meal in a restaurant in exchange for tickets to a whole show.

40:24I think that's the only way I could barter. Yeah, that's a great deal for them, to be fair. No, I don't know. It's a work in progress at the moment. Oh, is it? It's not a full meal at the moment. Okay, it's just... It's morsels. It's a light snack. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've got garlic bread, challah bread. I guess that's not a basket. French stick. Half a Warburton's crumpet. It's fresh out the toaster with the salty butter. But just half.

40:55James Acaster: We don't get enough crumpets on this podcast. No, we don't. Actually, the other day, me and my partner were going to basically have to be in all week. So I was like, I'm going to go and get us loads of quick snacks that we can just eat at home. And always, this is boring, but I'm going to say it. I forget about crumpets until I see them. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. Such a good observation. I just never think of a crumpet unless I'm looking at and we're like oh yeah they exist yeah and I was like so excited about getting them yeah delicious how are you doing your crumpets so they've got to be quite well done but it's a dangerous game that you're playing because they can go over they can go hard they can go hard and also like there is there is nothing worse than a floppy crumpet like an underdone crumpet is an abomination I actually don't mind an underdone crumpet oh no I'd rather an underdone than an overdone there we go I don't mind a bit of a doughy sort of consistency it's awful I smell a text in if people want a text in let us know we don't do that overdone or underdone people hang on are you suggesting stuff for Sarah's show we can both do it I guess no we can't we don't have a live text in text in now tune in tomorrow you know I'll be like crumpets yeah well today this morning I did I got about an hour out of bus routes and we got Honestly, it kicked off on the text from bus drivers.

42:17Look, text topics are an art form. If you launch one out into the world and you're like, that feels a bit silly and then suddenly all the texts start coming in. What a feeling that is. It's great. Basically, there was a bus on our road and we went wild because it's not a bus route. And seeing a bus on your own street when it's not a bus route freaks you out. We were driving behind it. My husband was speeding up to catch up with it. We were like, a bus, a bus. And it was at night and lit up. so it was a bit like the night bus on Harry Potter. We were like, what's it doing? Has it been nicked? Is he lost?

42:51Probably a bit lost. We had a few buses for the bus community getting on to us. It's so funny when community... Yeah. Bus drivers, essentially, really. Bus users. It's funny when a bus gets lost. Yeah, I mean, you must shit it if you're newly qualified. It's got to be day one. Day one. Yeah, because you would have thought by day two, you're going I know which way I'm going now yeah did yesterday I was on a bus once that went the wrong way and had to do a three point turn yeah awful see but fun when you're on it yeah and it was just me on it as well what? you were the driver that's his roundabout way of saying yeah I'm glad comedy worked out because they were not happy with me at TFL

43:32James Acaster: you're one day as a bus driver this guy got lost in a three point turn incident you fired didn't pick anyone up refused to stop anywhere did you get did you not get off and do a bit of left hand down and all that I'm always because my dad drove a lorry for years I always feel bad for lorry drivers there's been many times in central London especially where I've I've got got involved and tried to out like reverse an articulated lorry around a tight corner like giving it all the yeah whoa that's this is another I've said this on the podcast before with people but that is I'm gutted that Heat magazine don't do Spotted anymore because I think Sarah Cox directing a lorry around a corner I think would be perfect.

44:16Crumpet, sorry. Sorry, crumpet, yeah, butter. I had a cholesterol test. I'm quite competitive with my cholesterol and I had a cholesterol test that was four when I last had a test, which is really good. So I had one that was a little bit high when I thought I'm going to get my cholesterol down and to do that, because I said to the nurse, I was like, how can my cholesterol be high? I don't really have anything that bad. And then I just had a flashback, slices of butter on top of things like crumpets and hollering. It's genetic as well. Yeah, it might be. It can be genetic. Yeah, have you got cholesterol things going on?

44:50Yeah, yeah. But that's also lifestyle. Also eating like every eight or something. Yeah, butter just, I use butter like cheese. Yeah, there is, seeing the teeth marks in it, that German works now, lovely. And cream I love as well. so anyway I stopped all that knocked it on the head I rarely have butter now but because it's the dream restaurant I've kind of ruined butter for myself if you give up just a warning now to everyone listening if you give up butter too much when you next have it it'll taste cheesy it's so weird

45:23James Acaster: good warning yeah it's a good public service broadcasting it's just in me do you know what I mean to do a BBC warning that's the new I gave up Diet Coke yeah yeah yeah now it tastes like normal Coke yeah so yeah but in my dream restaurant I'll have butter and it won't taste cheesy and I'll have lots of lovely salty butter on there on the crumpet and it'll be really hot and just perfectly toasted I'm going to buy crumpets on the way home oh so nice crumpets with butter marmite and then cheese but that's called the Greg James it's not called the Greg James yeah yeah it is that's what it's called yeah no way you can't have that that's his thing that's his thing you have a Greg Cheese as well.

46:09He does cheese. Does cheese. Does he melt the cheese? Yeah. Yeah. I don't melt the cheese. Do you not? The Ed Gamble, you don't melt the cheese. You raw Greg it. Yeah. No, it's not. Greg's not involved in it. No, okay. Yeah, that's the difference. You can't call it a raw Greg.

46:21James Acaster: For everyone at home, if you melt the cheese, it's a Greg James. If you don't, it's an Ed Gamble. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. For everyone at home. It's all about the cold and the hot. I would never melt the cheese. Disgusting. Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by Cozy, the home of possibilities, James. Oh, man, Ed, Cozy has everything you need to make your home feel like it has a plan. Do you know what I mean? I know what you mean. Cozy is a wonderful furniture company. It makes furnishing your whole home easy. Sofas, dining, storage, rugs, bedroom, even outdoor, all designed to make your space feel put together without the usual furniture stress.

46:59And James, we talk about dream meals on this podcast. But you know what? We very rarely talk about where we want to eat this dream meal.

47:05James Acaster: Sure, yeah. I like it when it does come up. It is very important. It changes the whole meal, the setting, the vibe. And Cozy's modular, customisable furniture for the whole home does just that. And the meal, James, doesn't necessarily end at dessert. We've often talked about wanting to take our maybe final course through to a comfy room. And I think this is where Cozy can really come in handy. Go and relax on the sofa. Maybe even eat your meal at a lovely, beautiful, cozy table. linger a little bit, move through with coffees and dessert to a lovely couch. But I know what you're like, James. You're a mucky pup.

47:38I'm going to spill stuff everywhere. Is that going to ruin the cosy furniture? No, don't worry about that, James, because it's highly washable, James. It's sauce, wine, sparkling water, dessert crumbs. You telling one of your big stories and sloshing a coffee everywhere. Don't worry, you can pop it in the wash. Oh, so you're saying cosy banks every day at home feel like my best day? Absolutely, that's exactly what I'm saying. And with Cozy, your home can grow with you, adapting to new spaces, new styles in every era of your life. James, I think it's so hard, especially when you move somewhere new, to immediately make that place feel like yours, that it's been put together well.

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51:40James Acaster: Dream starter. Dream starter, please. Okay, so Honourable Munchens for ordering an Indian takeaway, then you just get the chicken, the lamb tikka starter, and a big wedge of lemon and the shredded lettuce, and you make your own little kebab with a ciapatti. You used to love doing that. That's great. Chew yin ribs from Singapore Gardens in Swiss Cottage lovely tiny little salty crunchy porky delight yeah are you eating that like a gerbil as well yeah right if no one's around I do eat like a anything like a gerbil do you want this whole meal just like in a in like a tank full of soil and you can burrow around and find your different courses everywhere no thank you though thank you no the offer's there so they're delicious I love them but what I've gone for I've gone back I've gone into the sea into the ocean and I would love please when I used to go camping when I was a little girl so it would be I was born so it'd be like 1982 when I was like eight years old maybe my uncle Trevor no longer with us used to go deep sea fishing out with some fishermen in Cornwall nothing happened to him he died in a different way by the way it sounds like i'm building up to a shark attack or something yeah and he'd go and you got your jaws t-shirt on as well yeah oh no what happened to the uncle a lovely uncle trevor would come back and he'd caught some mackerel and he would make them on the barbecue and and and i have spent my life searching for that taste again and i don't know if it's because we've been you know when you're little and you play outside and it's all they say oh that fresh air gives you an appetite and we'd be on this campsite and he would just grill these mackerel on the barbecue and it was just the best thing I've ever eaten and I get through a lot of mackerel tinned in tomato sauce frozen I've got my son into it his son is very easy influenced food wise just tends to copy whatever his mum does yeah you've got to watch the video of this by the way because Sarah went so serious and intense when you said I get through a lot of mackerel I get through a lot of mackerel you look haunted by the amount of mackerel It's so important that we...

53:53Like I've been sent... Like some sort of Greek mythology where we've set the task. I do now... I think mackerel's probably top fish for me now. What the hell? That's a scoop. Yeah. That is a scoop for the fish community. I didn't know that

54:06James Acaster: Ed's top fish was mackerel. Yeah, I think just... Just when you're talking about it being grilled, amazing. Love smoked mackerel. Yeah, lovely. Smoked mackerel pate, hello. Put that on a grumpet and go to heaven. And mackerel sashimi, delicious. Yeah, really good. Really good. Because it's oily. it's so flavoursome it's so good for you as well which I think as I get older I'm like stuff that is delicious and good for me you're like ring-a-ding-ding yeah exactly so I'd love it to taste like it did when I was little but I would like on the same plate some of the scallops and bacon from the Devonshire if that's alright as well of course because that's sort of sweet salty with the bacon delicious they come in the shells don't they yeah and every time I go I'm like I'm not going to have the scallops I'm going to try something different and I just it's just nothing as good as that so lovely yeah even the shells that used to be ashtrays back in the day what they used to put scallops in ashtrays the scallop shells used as ashtrays that makes more sense than what I was thinking was that at the Devonshire they used to present scallops in an ashtray yeah there you go it's the new yeah like slates yeah yeah yeah well that'd be good because those old those old pub ashtrays you could rest your knife and fork in the little bits where you would put a cigarette That is true.

55:21That is true. My mum's pub, I used to have to clean them out at the end of the night. It was the worst. You'd go around with a bucket and a tin bucket so it couldn't set on fire and you'd empty the ash tray and you'd have a little paintbrush to get all the ash out.

55:33James Acaster: It stinks really horrible. Disgusting. George Michael there put his cigarette out in there. Go on. All right, Colt, we'll see you again. Pepsi. That sounds very nice. Yeah. I mean, I hate to be going back and forth again, but when you said ring-a-ding-ding,

55:51James Acaster: every time someone says ring a ding ding it just reminds me in my head immediately I say that's the bell because there was a kid in my school who wrote a poem and he had to read it in front of the class it was about going to school and one of the lines was ring a ding ding that's the bell and it's still to this day in my head every time someone says ring a ding ding I hear that kid say that's the bell afterwards because I remember thinking it was so funny that he clarified it was the bell we know it's the bell it's amazing how that stuff sticks in your head but it's just every time someone says ring a ding ding and then I have to remind myself that not so I was like oh someone's going to say that's the bell now like I always think that we're all thinking it because it's so in my head and then I have to remember no it was that one kid it's the one kid who wrote that poem did you write a poem as well?

56:39James Acaster: I wrote a poem about winter and it's a sad little boy well I've told you the darkness is coming Well, actually, we were told we had to write about one of the seasons. So I guess I chose winter. Yeah, I chose winter. Little goth kid. I'm in primary school at this point. The teacher thought it was great and said I'd read it in assembly. And I remember the first line, this is how young I was for this to be called great, was winter's the time when it's cold. Winter's the time to be bold. And the teacher was like, but the thing is, I had written that not actually knowing what the word bold meant. I was just rhyming.

57:16Yeah, yeah.

57:17James Acaster: And I actually then thought that people were going to think I was talking about having no hair. Because it's the worst time to ever. And then I felt like... It's awful to have no hair. And then I felt like that was really silly. And I got really embarrassed about it. And I said to my teacher, I can't read this out in front of everyone. They're going to think I'm talking about people with no hair. And she was like, what are you... It was the first time I remember a teacher looking at me and being like, what are you talking about? Like, proper like, are you mad? Like, no one's going to think that.

57:45I'm so enjoying the first time a teacher. It makes it sound like...

57:48James Acaster: It's the first time I remember the teacher not humouring me at all. Yeah, just being... What are you talking about? Just being like, are you... No, no one's going to think that. And I remember reading it out in assembly, and after that line, rolling my eyes at everyone. Like, putting that, like, oh, God, what a line. And everyone's sitting there, obviously, just like... Just get through it, mate. Yeah, okay. You said it's cold? God forbid you ever stood on the stage after that and said anything silly. a kid wrote a story in my in my school we all had to write a story the boy was born in a bubble god really yeah the boy was born in a bubble like a medical bubble no i think we could interpret it how we wanted to i don't think it had to be a medical bubble okay i think most of the kids including me went with a flying like a big flying okay nice boy was born in a bubble everyone else wrote maybe three or four sides i think i wrote three or four sides about the journey in the bubble and stuff.

58:40My friend Jack just wrote, this is the whole story, he went, one day there was a boy born in a bubble, one day he landed on a pin in France at the end. In France. In France. In France. That's genius. Yeah, that's good. It's absolute genius and he got really told off. He really told off. But you don't need anything else in a story, that's perfect. Because you can just imagine the journey yourself. Yeah. One day he was born, one day he landed on a pin in France. I know what's happening, I know where it is. the end it's travelled yeah I used to always get in trouble because I would write in creative writing I'd finish every story with and then she woke up and it was all a dream yeah I did that a lot as well yeah yeah or I would do it and then everything went black what?

59:26so someone the person would die in the story everything went black? yeah and then everything went black and that'd be the end of the story that's really dark and then everything went black yeah I'm not going to go into what one of the stories was but I got in real trouble for it the teacher wrote sick across the top of it that's good that can be positive

59:45James Acaster: yeah no no no it wasn't in the time that was not that was not the terminology yet this is sick thank you so much miss yeah no yeah thanks man yeah that would be so good this is fat yeah that's what I was going for maybe this is how this podcast will end everything just this episode you'll be halfway through your dream drink and everything goes black and everyone's like wow I guess that's the end of the story I used everything went black so many times wow even like a happy story and then you were like how do I end this or then I'll die but maybe there's something wrong with the whole school one kid wrote a story that was clearly the entire storyline to Last Action Hero yeah you gotta do that yeah you gotta try some plagiarism see how it works out just a little yeah yeah I was at a wedding not so long ago and the son of the bride got up and did a speech.

1:00:45James Acaster: Nice. And it was amazing and it moved everyone to tears. Really, really nice. And then afterwards, I was thinking that was really nice and moving. And then all the other adults were going, is you stay high? Really cynical. All of them going, is you stay high? And going up to him, you write that yourself? No. And he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they were like, did you now? That's so mean. Going over to his mum's just got married he's used AI no there's no way he wrote all that himself he's used chap GPT he's put in wedding speeches for your mum that's what he's done no everyone very cynical what's your what do you think he did there what's your verdict I think he used AI no

1:01:35James Acaster: your dream main course Sarah okay Okay, main course is little char-grilled delicious lamb chops from a restaurant called Roka. Or is it Roka? Somebody said it was Roka the other week. R-O-K-A? R-O-K-A. It's in town. It's on Charlotte Street. It's quite naughties, this restaurant. It was massive back in the day. But I've not found sort of lamb chops quite like that. They're kind of fresh off the griddle. This sweet and spicy and salty and Korean sort of spice on there. Absolutely delicious. My most favourite thing. Charcoal with lamb chops are so good. So good. Lovely bit of fat on there as well.

1:02:23And they're not too thick. I don't really like a lamb chop that is... You don't have to open your mouth too wide to get it in. I want to be able to pick it up by the bone and eat it like that. Yes. So if it's too thick, you can't do that. Yeah, it's got to be. It's got to go back to cave times. I broke my first ever tooth on a lamb chop bone. That's when I pushed through my very first tooth. And I think that stayed with me clearly somewhere in my mind. Because we're youngest five on a farm. Give her a bone. Keep her quiet.

1:02:56James Acaster: it just throw you the bone it wasn't like you were eating a lamb chop and bit into the bone i was in a little cage by the table yeah no i think you know what i mean just delicious yeah so i think everything did you break yours on a chop bone one bar another reference to george michael yeah oh um but like you oh i mean broke a tooth as in like my first ever baby tooth came through on a lamb chop bone yeah yeah i lost my my tooth came out on the Wamba on the Wamba and yours came out on the Lamber mine came through as in like when you've got no teeth as a baby but a little your first ever tooth comes through your little milk tooth and they go oh they've got a tooth it was from chewing on a lamb chop bone hold on you were just gums and they threw you a lamb chop bone to chew on yeah I think I was sucking on a lamb chop bone and you grew teeth because you were chewing on a lamb bone and I was chewing and I'd been probably just sat up at the table whatever like 10 months or something I forget my kids are so big and I forget what they do at what stage I'm like when they're a year I'm like can they drive I don't know what they do anymore yeah and I think I was sucking on they must have given me like my mum or dad given me a lamb chop bone it sounds disgusting now doesn't it it doesn't sound great and I think I was like just sort of chomping on that I was teething that's what it would have been and the effort of chewing on the lamb bone pushed a tooth through pushed my first tooth through yeah so it was ready to come through when you're teething you know when babies they dribble they bite on anything because they sort of soar they must have given me the land chopper to just chew on and that's when my first tooth came through so I didn't lose one through it but you lost a tooth to a whambar yeah the whambar wasn't how your first tooth came through that's what I thought no I wasn't there with all gums and my parents handed me a whambar that's what I thought and I'm there I'm gumming on it ten months old full set of teeth they look around adult teeth it's completely perfect thank you parents talking now giving the whambar back yeah I did think that I was like wow with the whambar first ever tooth tooth came out ate it swallowed it oh blombin' it did you didn't realise did you try and get it back not worth the juices no I was like that's gone that's gone the tooth fairy can fly up there if she wants to get in there overnight I slept on my stomach just to see if I wake up have some cash in the old well is she leaving a coin up there or is she leaving it on the top of the box that's what I try to shake out in the morning into a little penny jar.

1:05:25You even did a little movement there. Yeah, yeah.

1:05:27James Acaster: Like that. Trying to shake it into the jar. What's James doing? Very odd, child.

1:05:35Winter, it's cold.

1:05:37James Acaster: I've got to recite in my own poetry. Yeah, you're trying to shake a coin at your butt. Time to be bold. You're going, time to be bold. Yeah, that is time to be bold. Yeah, that is time to be bold. Maybe it did happen in the winter. Carrot, second tooth. Second tooth, I was eating a carrot. Oh, God. Your parents have tried to healthy up your diet a little bit. Yeah, like, who kind of happens to you in one bar 24-7? Blimey. So this is when your milk teeth were going out and your big ones were coming in, okay? Yeah, I was chomping on stuff all the time that was falling out. It just... I think a lot of mine were just like, I was running through a corridor and just fell over and smashed my face.

1:06:13Different lives, I guess. A lot of them were like clumsy, clumsy teeth. Yeah, well, you were a clumsy child. Yeah, big time. You shouldn't run in corridors. That's all you get shouted at. I was busy, you know. Teachers were upset. I was a busy kid. I was a busy kid. I had stuff to do. Science to get to. Deadlines. Deadlines.

1:06:29James Acaster: You know? Yeah, no, Ed was like a different kid to me. Yeah, and you weren't friends when you were that little, were you? No, wouldn't have been. That'd be a good sitcom. Wouldn't have been. A good sitcom, though. What, us as kids? Yeah, friends. Friends. Friends as kids. Yeah, nice. Yeah, going around and you're like, yeah, like you've got a suit on, but you're also running around and like falling over and smashing your face. As a kid. I'm trying to shake a corner out of my butt. Writing poetry. Writing my poems. One day we'll do a food podcast together.

1:07:04James Acaster: Your dream side dish, Sarah. Mashed potato that my mum made when I was little and she's only four foot ten and a half so she'd have to do it on the floor. And she's only little Jackie so she would have a big pan, huge pan on the floor in the kitchen and giving it some welly with the masher both hands on the masher and I was like the official taster of the mash if it was too salty if it needed a bit more butter or milk and to me my mum always makes the best mash so I definitely have some of that please fantastic mash queen and I really love you know when you get the spinach and sesame it shouldn't work it doesn't look like it doesn't sound on all the things at a Japanese restaurant like it's going to be the most incredible thing the cold one But the cold spinach in the sesame sauce is just so incredible.

1:07:49Can I have some of that, please, as well as more smash? Yeah, I love that cold spinach. And the sesame dressing stuff is great. We've had bottles of that in our fridge. It goes in everything. Oh, gorgeous. So good. Yeah, there's a really nice dressing, actually, a salad dressing that mimics it a little bit. Quite a posh salad dressing. And they do like a house, and they do that one as well, the sesame, delicious. That's great. Yeah, that's a really I think it's nice to have a little cold side as well, you know I like I like the hot and cold mixed together I'm just smiling because of the Melvin I do Well, you came up with that idea so we'd like to thank Melvin for saying thank you for coming up with Hot and Cold Copyright Melvin Mixing hot and cold

1:08:31James Acaster: things together I nearly crashed at that point because he was really set up each one So proud of himself With the Nandos and the parking in a car park waiting for his delivery You must have met Melvin before you and Melbourne must have worked together yeah was it surprising at all when you heard him on the podcast and that was his choices and those were his those were the things he was saying I was surprised that he goes to a car park and waits for a delivery it's a hack and thinks that it's a hack and sometimes he has to chase the person yeah if they're not stopping at the right place I mean it's a shame it sounds quite I mean it just must be delicious what food was it he was waiting for Caribbean food it was the macaroni pie wasn't it yeah yeah yeah he couldn't believe you'd heard of that anyway sorry i was just it was really making me laugh kimchi from south korea can i have some of that as well please because i modeled there and that's where i met my best friend claire who i do the pod with so i do the teen commandments podcast my best mate claire and we met when we were like christian podcast pardon a christian podcast teen commandments yeah no it's that it's about teenagers and And it was about that, but it's kind of annoyingly.

1:09:44Our kids are getting older. That's what happens. So we're sort of running out of teenagers a little bit. So it's more just, it's got a lot onto Claire's love life or lack of until recently when she went to Crete. Things have picked up. Great news for Claire. Congratulations, Claire. Congratulations, Claire. With a French man. Good on you. With a French man. Yeah. French man in Crete. 36 as well.

1:10:09James Acaster: 36? Yes. I've done it 36 times wee wee woohoo is that Tromte Seas? yes something like that anyway well done Claire and I met in South Korea she came over she's from Manchester I'm from Bolton I'd been with some Mormons from Hawaii who like we just didn't have a lot in common these are the models they were really nice but like what do I talk to them about opposite of them you know Claire walks in she's from Whitefield up the road and I'm just over the moon to have someone that I can just relate to. And I've actually got this on a mug. She got me a mug made saying, do you drink coffee? Because that's the first thing I said.

1:10:47Do you drink coffee? Do you smoke? You can share me coffee and I've got some fags in bed. And that was it. Friendship was born out of that. And of course, we were 18. We didn't want Korean food. We were in Seoul, in Itaewan, in the really sort of quite touristy bit near like the US air base. So we'd be going out partying and we'd go out with clients after shoots. And, you know, we just didn't appreciate how amazing the food was because we were 18 and we were ungrateful and we were just like, God, I wish there was a McDonald's and there'd be all this amazing food. But kimchi, I didn't get it then, but I love it now.

1:11:24It's so good kimchi. Yeah, good kimchi. It's like crumpets. A badly done crumpet is as disappointing as a bad kimchi. If you get a supermarket kimchi and it's just not right. When my wife was younger, She told me that she tried to make kimchi at home. Oh, yeah. And it stunk so much that her dad took up all the skirting boards because he thought a rat had died under the kitchen. That's incredible. She came back and he's like a crowbar just getting all the floorboards up. What are you doing? He's like, that smell! He was like, no, I'm making kimchi. Yeah. It's in a tub in there. He's like, bah! That's brilliant.

1:12:09else good stuff.

1:12:09James Acaster: Yeah. Smashing holes in the walls. Yeah. Did she really say it was because I'd have just been like, Ronda just got the kimchi and made me laugh. Yeah. I think she probably admitted it in the end. Sally Traffic pokes her head in the window. That stinks. I love it. Thank you, Sally. Take the Skype board off and Sally Traffic comes out the hole. Bit of a pong in here.

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1:14:09James Acaster: your dream drink okay I've stopped drinking I keep saying for now because I don't know if it's forever but for now the last drink I had was a margarita in Barbados at February half term it was delicious I would say the way that you just lit up when you said that drink means it's for now it's for now it's fine that it's for now for now I don't want to put pressure on myself I don't know if it's for now or not, but the last one you had was a margarita. February halftime in Barbados. It was delicious. Yeah, I do slash did love a margarita. You do? Yeah, I do. You still do. And I've got the non-alcoholic ones, and it's not quite the same, because I do actually, I mean, tequilas.

1:14:56Yeah, yeah. But straight after that margarita, we went to the beach, and me and my daughter got rolled by a massive wave that came out of nowhere. Like it was absolute chaos on the beach. It was at this posh beach. And I saw this wave was a bit fruity. And I was like, whoa, that nearly went over my face. I looked behind me, I kid you not, this like, I don't know, like four metre wave and people were trying to get out of the sea and me and my daughter, and she's 16, my daughter, and like I just looked at her and I got older around and I went, it's going to take us, but we'll be okay. Right? And I'm not good in the sea anyway.

1:15:32It was totally calm before this and it caught loads of people out. And it took us and we just, it was that really humiliating where you just get rolled and you don't know which way is up. And then we landed, you know, we just sort of half landed on the beach and you scrabble out. And then I was like, oh shit, my husband, because I didn't even look where he was. He was fine. He got out. But it came all up the beach, washed everyone's bags away and stuff. There was a woman walking up and down. Whose crock is this? And it was my husband. He lost a crock because it wished up. So maybe that's something to do with giving up booze was the kind of like...

1:16:08So you connect that with...

1:16:10James Acaster: That happened and you went, I've got to stop drinking. Yeah. Because you were worried that if you were drunk in that situation, then you might not be able to get out of the wave? Well, I just wonder... Or is it connected in your head? Maybe it's connected in my mind a little bit, but it was a delicious margarita, but they're getting rolled. I was like... Sure, but I don't think they're connected. Yeah, I think that would have happened anyway. What we're trying to say is like... Yeah, the gods weren't unhappy with me having a margarita and sending the waves to punishment. Yeah. I presume not. But is it just maybe like a synapse thing where it's just connected in your head and now the taste of the margarita is still in your mouth and then getting rolled by a big wave?

1:16:46Yeah, maybe that's what it is. If I drink, I'm going to get rolled again. Yeah, a little bit. I think just if you do want a drink, just don't immediately go in the sea afterwards. Just don't get in the sea. I think just don't get in the sea. Yeah, no, that's good, Tim. Thank you. Yeah, it was mad. There's an Aussie girl, Ozzy Ann who works on the show sometimes. She's brilliant. She's got absolutely no boundaries or respect for authority. She works at Radio 2. She goes up to the bosses and punches them on the arm and stuff. She's hilarious. I love watching her in action. It's chaos. But she was like, you're supposed to duck down because she's from Australia, so she's used to big waves.

1:17:19Apparently you ducked. Did you know this? I didn't know this. You ducked right down. So for everybody listening at home, again, a health and safety thing. I think if you really ducked down and it doesn't take you then, just goes over you. I stand up with a big wave. I face it.

1:17:35James Acaster: When have you ever been in this situation? All the time. All the time. I say bring it on Poseidon. Yeah, that's what I say. Most of the time, 90 % of the time, I say that and the wave just settles down. And then it all goes black. Yeah, and then everything goes black.

1:17:56Yeah, oh God. Anyway, so, they don't do a good booze-free one. I tell you what they do, a fever tree, let me first tell you this, fever tree do a really nice thing that feels like a treat on a Saturday night.

1:18:09James Acaster: This might be the first shout out to fever tree on the podcast. Yeah. Fever tree do a really nice ginger beer. I love a ginger beer with loads of ice in it. But they do something, if you're thinking of laying off the booze for a bit, a non-alcoholic Italian spritz is what it's called. It's like an Aperol spritz. Oh, great, yeah. Same colour, same little what is it it's not sour is it bitter same bitter kind of like kicking back of the throat delicious I'm really into Bativo all the Bativo spritzes and stuff that you can get now they started doing a canned soda that a place near me sells and like I started today with it but like I love those kind of like bitter soft drinks lovely because you don't really know that there's no booze in there I mean you don't There's another one as well that's like a Aperol Spritz.

1:19:00A Seedlip? No, it's like an Italian one. It's like an Italian soda. Cradino. Cradino. Cradino I tasted recently at an Italian restaurant, and that is very, very good. I also quite like a really nice cold non-alcoholic beer. Sure. Also, when I was saying I put on a bit of chub, I was on the sausages and the non-booze beer. It's all coming clear to me now.

1:19:21James Acaster: Yeah, handbag beer. Handbag beer. I add Bativo to non-alcoholic beer at home. I have a Lucky Saint and some Bativo. Lovely. Because a place near me was doing that at one point and then they took it off the menu. So is Bativo the non-alcoholic thing that you mentioned? Yeah, like bitter thing. Oh, is that nice in some? It makes, I think it makes non-alcoholic beer taste more like a beer rather than having, it gets rid of that weird aftertaste you have with a non-alcoholic beer. it gets rid of that and adds a bit of a like fruity, bittery kind of I'll tell you what that is nicer that's a hack that's a hack if Melvin's listening that's a hack that is a hack yeah there's also a beer called Outside that is non-alcoholic and you can get it with some lemon in it but I don't like that but what's quite funny is the regular Outside non-alcoholic beer it's they've it's isotonic so it's that I'm such an advertiser's dream do you know what I mean I'm doing that shit and I'll wrap it up I can't get enough of it I'll hold it as soon as they start putting protein in non-alcoholic beer you're going to be all over it I'm like I'm doing myself good I'm non-alcoholic but you know the funny thing is before I stopped drinking I was only maybe having like a glass of red a week but when I stopped I thought I'm going to get really trim now no because you replaced it with 18 sugary drinks and loads of sausages a bag full of sausages yeah so which one of those is your dream drink by the way out of all of that I think I will go for the Italian spritz, a non-alcoholic Italian spritz.

1:20:54Delicious with some icing.

1:20:55James Acaster: I'm quite disappointed, Coxie, because I grew up with you being a proper, you were getting on it. I know. You were an inspiration to so many teenagers. What has happened to Ladette culture? It's good. What's going on? I've let everybody know. And you've come on and you've chosen a non-alcoholic drink for your dream drink. I genuinely... I didn't see your face light up when you said about that fever tree drink, the same way when you said the margarita. You know what? Real talk, my husband hasn't drank for about four years. And anyone who's with a partner who doesn't drink, you know that it gradually wears you down.

1:21:28Because when you do have a drink, you feel like a massive lush. You feel like Cat Slater, like you are off the rails, and you're not. So it does gradually, you just think, oh, you know.

1:21:41James Acaster: One crock, sober as a judge. And so, you know, you get out of the habit, and then you drink so little that when you do drink, you don't think oh i feel relaxed you think oh oh i feel a bit dizzy yeah weird because your body's when you drink regularly your body's so used to it it's a relaxing effect i used to love a little half a glass of merlot or a malbec on a weirdly on a tuesday night i used to quite fancy my tuesdays were hard and now hump day just yeah pre-hump yeah and now like it just makes me feel a bit dizzy and weird so I'm like why bother but I feel like with drinking it's like if you imagine your social life or your life is like a fish tank with all those little pebbles at the bottom and I think I just I know when to expect a what and that was I could absolutely see that in my life I was like we're getting a what right now imagine your life is like a fish tank with all those pebbles across the bottom well let Sarah finish and every time you have a drink every time you know you're out at the Met Bar bumping into Wyclef Jean in the 90s every drink you take out a tiny pebble and I literally feel like I just that last margarita was my final pebble okay and there's none what

1:23:07I'll let you finish what like I was so That makes less sense I was so amazed in my analogy that if you said

1:23:20James Acaster: that if you said well yeah you have all your drinks in your life but you know when you have your final drink yeah that would have made more sense if you were just like you know I had a load of drinks and then eventually I just that was my last drink rather than a fish tank and you're taking the pebbles out your whole social life is a fish tank with pebbles in it Whitecliffe John's there yeah that threw me out of nowhere sorry but there is a unnecessary detail with me you met Wyclef once yeah I did a picture for the paparazzi sat with him on his motorbike on his Harley Davidson outside the Met Bar in like the most 90s shot ever taken great yeah weird did he sing I'll See You When You Get There no that was Julio oh damn that would have been he sang Gone Till November and of course he was in the Fugees and had the classic album The Score that was good your winter poem the Gone Till November Gone Till November I should have done that I'll be gone to November I'll be gone to November that was mostly the lyrics of that song be bold I'll be gone to November I'll be gone to November what was the next bit?

1:24:24James Acaster: I literally all I can remember is I'll be gone to November I'll be gone to November January, February March, April, May yeah and then he must have done the others you gotta do the others he must have completed the others yeah when did he slip surely someone would have pulled him up on that yeah you've not done July Wycliffe Wycliffe as a whole like summer months you've skipped them you've missed summer man you've got to do the summer so in my head I thought I'm buzzing with this analogy that it's going to be that right I do understand what you mean maybe we're you know maybe it's us maybe people listen to this podcast and say that was a really good analogy and the lads gave Coxie a really hard time for that and they shouldn't have so like each pebble yeah is each if there's thousands of drinks through your life each drink is a little pebble and then done the final pebble and then you've not got any more It's like having internal drink tokens that you use.

1:25:16You know a woman is only ever going to be born with a certain number of eggs. Maybe a person is only born with a certain number of drink urges. Yeah. Fantastic. I like that you tried to pull back the last analogy by doing an even more confusing one. Yeah. I think... You know how a woman's born with a certain amount of eggs. Well, also, you're born with a certain amount of drink urges. Yes.

1:25:39James Acaster: I know what you mean. also because of what you've already been talking about literally what I thought originally was you're talking about the hard boiled eggs that you wrap in the kitchen and this is my last one I knew that this was my last egg because Sally Jaffin told me it stinks and stop bringing it in I also just don't think that's true that a woman is born with a certain amount of egg yeah well I think they're assigned they're assigned sorry assigned by biology I'm really losing faith Do you think the drink are the drink tokens assigned by biology as well? Because I'd say some people have got an endless supply of drink tokens Yeah Are you not drinking at the moment at all?

1:26:20James Acaster: Yesterday So Yeah I had about a month of not really drinking not it wasn't deliberate I just had like a hectic month I was like I can't be doing with that as well and then last night I went out and had only two drinks but a really nice place called Cafe Kowloon and they'd done a collab with a brewery, I can't remember now, a cocktail bar. And it was this cocktail, it was like, it was lager and some orange liqueur, tequila. Wow. Wow. And Szechuan, this Szechuan stuff. Wow. It was delicious. It sounds so good. This little bottle. So I had two of them. Two of them. And felt pretty smashed on my way out.

1:27:04James Acaster: Yeah. Straight in the sea. Straight in the sea. I got rolled. wasn't even wavy in London walking around London they got fucking rolled completely come see James just rolling around out of nowhere and you know what they say if James is a rockin don't come knockin you know who's giving up booze Andrew Lloyd Webber Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber because he was on the show yesterday about time he gave up booze those musicals are mad every time I see one someone needs to lay off the sauce he must have been pissed when he wrote Cats technically a dream yeah come on Cats you're joking how much he had to drink he wrote Cats you know he got a dog because of the Cats movie it was so bad it made him get a dog that's what he said he got a Havanese oh funnily enough it's called it's not I think it is called Margarita the dog yes because drink or pizza after the drink because she the dog is from Havana the breed Havanese I think it's margarita it's called margarita oh damn close yeah I thought the dog can sing and he is love a song about his name he's done well for himself Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber he gave up booze and he raised loads of money for a children's charity to give you know schools to help them with like the arts and things all these different projects by selling some of his wine collection oh I should have got in on that oh I should have got in there before he gave up the grog some Lloyd Webber wine Yeah, lovely.

1:28:37He had like a proper, proper collection. Yeah, but I would, you know, when all those auctions, like celebrity auctions go mad online and like people are bidding, bidding, bidding, bidding, I would have been like, I'm just going to get something. I would have ended up with a Jacob's Creek or something. Just something he had at the back of a cupboard. Have you been on them and looked at them? Yeah, whenever there's like a big one, like the Freddie Mercury one or whatever, I'm like, I'll go and have a look. Wow. I'm not buying anything. No. But I find it fascinating to watch what's happening on them.

1:29:03But yeah, I'd get something that someone had brought over. to a barbecue at his house. And he'd be like, thank you, and just stuck it in a cupboard. Still in that, like, blue plastic bag. Yeah, exactly. The longness or whatever. Box wine. Lovely. Barefoot Chardonnay. How lovely.

1:29:21James Acaster: Your dream dessert. Dream dessert. Okay. I was thinking about you, James, because I thought you'll be fuming if... What? Like, don't worry. I'm not going cheese board. Good, good, good. Okay. There's a couple of things going on here. Originally, I was going to get plump, room temperature, slightly furry, sweet, not sour, perfect raspberries with loads of double cream on. And maybe actually when you whip the double cream and you put a little bit of icing sugar in it and it stiffens up. What's that? Delicious. Whipped cream. But I will also... It's a fancy French name for it. Is it creme panties?

1:30:00I don't know what it is. Yeah, there is a fancy... It's got a name for it. It's got an airway and it's incredible. But I won Bake Off with a cake. I know this is a sore point, James. Now go on. I won Bake Off with a cake to do a cake of a celebrity friend and I did Jeremy Vine riding a penny farthing in a Biscoff sponge. And so I will have a slice of that because it was... Oh, that sounds amazing. It went so good that crew took a slice on for a husband. Oh, wow. yeah and the crew were going she only does that when it's really nice I've met that guy have you

1:30:36James Acaster: yeah I met him backstage at Jonathan Ross he was knocking about with her was he eating any cake yeah that's all he talked about he said if you had Sarah Cox's cake it's absolutely amazing that's why I'm out of the house I'm looking for more of it on the streets just going around trying to score some of that cake I tried to take a bite out of Jeremy Vine the other day come here Vine I wouldn't mind I got pictures off Jeremy because he's my mate I'm like send me some pictures and he sent me all these detailed pictures of the bike. I'm like, I don't think he realises. I'm just going to be making it out of, you know, sugar icing and stuff, all that.

1:31:09James Acaster: I did his radio show once. No, his TV show, his Channel 5 show or whatever it was. I only did it once. So I'm on my way there, right? Yeah. And they tell me he ain't going to be there. We've got a stand-in. And Ireland? No, not and I'm, thank God. Got previous with her. She's not got previous with her. got beef with her though. No way. She bullied me on House of Games. But I was on my way there. They said Vine's not going to be there. It's a replacement. I was like, okay, fair enough. Get to the building. Runner meets him at the door. Go in the lift. Goes up a few floors. Door's open. Jeremy Vine's standing there.

1:31:47James Acaster: Looking at me, hands on his hips. And I'm like, I'm like, I thought you weren't here. He went, I'm not. I'm not doing it today. It's my daughter. My daughter's getting her A-level results. So I've taken the day off. I was like, What are you here for? He went, I couldn't have you come in and do the show and not be looked after. I'm here to look after you. And he said to the runner, you can take the morning off. I've got this. And then the old guy was like, but Jeremy, you're not doing your show. You don't come in and he still went in. You're here for the duration of the show, but you're not doing it.

1:32:21James Acaster: It's like your A-level results. It's like, yeah, she's here with me. I brought her with me as well. But you can forget it. So you go away. Wow. The runner's like, okay. Jeremy Vine takes me down the corridor and goes, where are we going? I said, I thought you would know. He went, I don't know where you're meant to be. I was like, Jeremy, you've just told the runner to do one and you don't even know where we're going. And we were walking around that building for ages into different rooms, going into the makeup thing. Do you need James yet? No. Okay, well, we don't need you here. Over and over again.

1:32:52James Acaster: Eventually, he puts me in a green room with his daughter. He said she's a big fan, talked to her about her A-level results. I had to sit there and make small talk with her lovely person no disrespect but it was the last thing I needed lovely Martha and then he made me do a TikTok with him in my mind he's wearing a bicycle helmet with a camera on the front absolutely the whole thing wow that's amazing yeah yeah do you want to hear my Jeremy Vine anecdote oh yeah sat next to him in a theatre the other night end of anecdote didn't say anything probably wasn't even meant to be there yeah but the raspberries isn't your choice well it's your cake I will have the cake it's the Vine cake And I will have some beautiful raspberries on the side.

1:33:30Chantilly cream? Chantilly. Yeah, because it's like the song, isn't it? Chantilly.

1:33:35James Acaster: Chantilly.

1:33:40James Acaster: I'm very conscious of Benito's camera running out. You would like, Sarah Cox, we'll read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. Room temperature, still water. You would like a McDonald's hash brown as an amuse bouche straight out the fryer in the paper bag. No sauce, no salt, no pepper. You would like a bread basket with halibut, from Daniel's garlic bread from Sanzio's French stick from La Colombe d 'Or well the boulangerie to be fair half a Warburton's crumpet with salted butter starter barbecued mackerel plus scallops and bacon from the Devonshire but your uncle Uncle Trevor is making that barbecued mackerel main course char-grilled lamb chops from Roca or Roca side dish mum's mashed potato and cold spinach with sesame sauce and some kimchi drink your fever tree non-alcoholic Italian spritz and dessert a slice of the Jeremy Vine cake right in a pair of Penny Farvin with perfect raspberries and Chantilly cream that's a great menu that's a great menu I'm pleased with that actually that's delicious that was making me hungry just to even it back thank you I am starving now I'm really hungry my stomach has started going yeah I want to go and barbecue some mackerel immediately and I want to crump it enjoy all of that thank you so much It's been the absolute dream.

1:34:55I love this pod so much. So thanks for having me. Well, thank you for coming on. Thank you for coming to the Dream Restaurant, Sarah Cox. Sarah Cox.

1:35:07Well, there we are, James, the wonderful Sarah Cox. What a great menu. What a great chat.

1:35:11James Acaster: Great hang. Great hang. Loved hanging out with Sarah Cox. Loved hearing her menu. Glad that she didn't say Cox Orange Pippin. Yes. That apple, which Benito wants you, the listener, to know that he thinks it's funny that it's got the word orange in it, but it's an apple. Yes. Like it's misleading. For context, Benito doesn't find us funny. No, he doesn't find us funny, but he does find it funny that an apple is called an orange, which now I've said it out loud, that is quite funny. It's funny, actually. Good point. That's funny. Yeah, that is funny. Please make sure that you buy Sarah's book, The Truth of Us.

1:35:44James Acaster: Yes. And listen to our podcast, The Teen Commandments. And listen to it, as if this needs a plug. As if this needs a plug. Listen to the Radio 2 Breakfast Show. The Radio 2 Breakfast Show. for God's sakes. And every time Janet Jackson comes on, you know what's happening. There's a plop happening. A plop happening. Sally Traffic, if you're listening to this, I know you got short shrift again in this episode. But you know, you know that there's love between us. I'd like to invite you to come on this podcast as a guest one day. Benito's shaking his head. Yeah. He's vetoed that quite a few times. The great Bovito.

1:36:17James Acaster: Danny DeVito. Ed is touring fresh hell. Make sure you go and see him. tickets at edgamble.com no .co.uk yeah go to Craig Simons Live I don't know I'm pointing you it's not you go to Craig Simons Live at Craig Simons Live on YouTube thank you very much for watching and listening goodbye goodbye off menu

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