John Cena

0:00Hello, it's Ed here from the Off Menu podcast that you are listening to right now. You'll know that I'm doing a brand new stand-up comedy show on tour next year, Fresh Hell, and we are delighted to announce that we are doing two more shows at the London Palladium, Friday the 19th of March, Saturday the 20th of March. You've got to come to these shows, they're going to be great, they're on sale now. Edgamble.co.uk for ticket details. Today's episode of the Off Menu Podcast is sponsored by the Expense Account Podcast. Now, we all know that eating out in New York has become an extreme sport. I was there recently, and boy, oh boy, there's so much choice.

0:36There's so much to see. There's so many new restaurants. You start to get a bit overwhelmed. And if you treat dining out like a full-time obsession, as I do, and care about the scene just as much as what's on the menu, you need to listen to Expense Account. Expense Account uses food as an entry point into bigger conversations about culture, identity, taste, and the way we live now. It treats every meal as a window into someone's life and the world at large.

1:00James Acaster: It's a bit like the Off Menu podcast, if it was clever. Hosted by Jay Lee, food critic at Emily Sundberg's Feed Me Media Empire, each episode features Jay sitting down with guests like writer Molly Bars, chef Carla Lally, PBS host Patty Ginich, and so many more to explore how food and culture are inextricably linked. You might also hear from musicians, writers, tastemakers, and even the bartender at Jay's favorite joint. Because everyone eats, everyone has a story, and everyone has a take. Like my one about Yorkshire puddings that I say on everything. Most food shows stay on the plate. Expense Account uses the plate as a springboard to talk about everything around it.

1:38Search for Expense Account wherever you get podcasts.

1:54Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the cheese of conversation, putting it in the fondue pot of the internet, applying the heat of friendship, bubbling that cheese up so nice and dipping in the bread of humour. It's a podcast fondue, Jimmy boy.

2:11James Acaster: Oh, that is Eddie boy. My name is Jimmy boy and this is the Off Menu Podcast. Every single week, we invite the guests and we ask in their favour ever, start and make your desserts. side dish and drink, not in that order, in our dream restaurant. And this week, the guest is John Cena at The Unseen 17. John Cena is a wonderful actor. Yes. Also pro wrestler. The goat. The goat. You heard it here first. The goat. What a hero. I've loved his performances in so many things. Suicide Squad, Peacemaker, Blockers. Very excited to have him on the podcast. Very funny in all of the films he does, I think. really funny known for his improv really commits to every role including his new movie Out Now Matchbox the movie on Apple TV Matchbox the movie is out now on Apple TV people can watch that yes we've watched it we had a lot of fun watching it we did inspired those little Matchbox cars if you remember them when you were a kid and if you are a kid and you're listening to that hey maybe you've got one in your hand right now while you're listening to this podcast let me tell you there's some big cars in that as well don't you worry all the cars are going to be little there's some mad stunts going on not just cars loads of vehicles yeah loads of vehicles if you like vehicles yes you want to watch it right now yeah yeah but John's fantastic in it Sam Richardson's in it I'm a huge fan of Sam Richardson so funny yeah so funny Sam if you're listening buddy come on the pod gotta get you on the pod Sam gotta get him on the pod but listen I love John you nearly said John Richardson I nearly said John Richardson because we're talking about Sam Richardson because we're talking about Sam Richardson and John Cena I nearly said listen I love John Richardson which I do yeah Hey, matter of record, I love John Richardson.

3:50James Acaster: And do not get confused. But that wasn't who I was about to talk about. But you also love John Cena. I love John Cena. And I love John Cena. But if John says the secret ingredient, which we deem to be unacceptable, we will kick him off of the podcast. And this week, the secret ingredient is matchmakers. Matchbox makers. No, matchmakers. Now, we love matchmakers as well. Box of matchmakers. But it's because of matchbox, we've made it matchmakers. Yeah. Mint or orange? I don't know if John's going to bring this up man and I'm happy about that the last thing I want to do is try and kick John Cena out at the dream restaurant yeah I really don't fancy our chances of doing that no matchmakers most likely to come at the end of the meal even after the dessert if anyone's going to chuck some matchmakers in they might just be like in a box of mint matchmakers please as a little after dinner but I don't know if he's crossed paths with matchmakers at any point in his career no it's not likely man if we try and kick him out he can do a double attitude adjustment on us.

4:47He's stacked up bigger men than us on his back.

4:49James Acaster: Yeah, I don't want to get in the way of a double attitude adjustment. You wouldn't get in the way of it. You'd be part of it. Oh no. You'd be on his back, probably on top of me on his back. Actually, that sounds fun. Next thing you know, we're being flipped over and slammed down onto the mat. Was Benito doing all of this? Watching and smiling like this. Yeah, yeah. He'd be smiling, nodding his head, really enjoying this finally happening. You don't get to see Benito if you're watching this or listening to this. so you never get to see Benito but here's what Benito does when something bad happens to us.

5:20James Acaster: Or when he himself makes a pun. He makes a joke and then he goes... Yeah, yeah. So those two things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you ever see him doing that either he's made a pun or something bad has happened to us. Watch this on YouTube of course as well and you can see Ed's face of Benito. Speaking of YouTube... And you can... Yeah, you can see my face. You can see your face. See my face and you should subscribe subscribe while you're on YouTube. You won't be able to see John Cena's face. You can't see me. At Craig Simons Live. Oh yeah, sorry. Subscribe to that channel on YouTube. Really big YouTube channel.

5:56James Acaster: Yes. It's popping off. Yeah. At Craig Simons Live. Subscribe to it. I'm going on tour next year. Brand new stand-up show. Fresh Hell. 2027 UK and Ireland tour. Starting at the end of January. Going right through till June. I'm doing four shows at the London Palladium. One, two, three, four. Count them. Hustle. loyalty, respect, and a Saturday show. EdGamble.co.uk for tickets. Shall we speak to John Cena? Oh, yeah, man, please. This is the off-menu menu of John Cena!

6:34Welcome, John, to the Dream Restaurant. Here we are.

6:37James Acaster: Welcome, John Cena, to the Dream Restaurant. We've been expecting you for some time. Thank you so much. this is a smaller restaurant than I thought but that's okay yeah that's I mean it's a very small studio certainly yeah but feel free to use the full expanses of your imagination it's cozy you like a cozy restaurant? I do I think there's something to cozy it reminds me of like hearth and home yeah I'm excited and curious good you guys sit in the corner you got a booth with your friends or you want to get amongst it in the middle I like being in the middle of it yeah yes If I go out, I know that I'm committing to go out, and I like still being in the middle of all of it.

7:17With friends or dining alone? I have the courage and self-worth to dine alone. I also love getting friends together. That's like my favorite thing to do, is to talk, reflect, listen over food and drink.

7:30James Acaster: I think my favorite part of this movie, the Matchbox movie, is the core friendship group at the heart of it. The Matchbox gang. It's us. Did you guys get on during the film as well? That is us. Whatever they had written on the page, which was very solid, really morphed into just us on screen. Arturo and Sam are nonstop bits. Tia is so very patient with everybody. Jess is such a pro, and she adds where she can. She's so beautiful and talented and funny. The toughest thing for me on this one was to just be the CIA guy and not get in on the jokes. Because, man, those guys are so quick and that's so much good material.

8:13And we fire on a lot of the same cylinders, a lot of nostalgic toys, a lot of pro wrestling. Like, it was a fun shoot. You know that Ed's wife is a wrestler. Did you know that? No kidding. Yeah, she's very early in her career, but I went to see her last night. Talk more about that. How long has she been doing it? So she's been training for a couple of years. Okay. And then is very involved in the sort of British independent scene. Love it. Doing like, you know, managing shows and stuff. Oh. I love that perspective. I think she's, you know, she's had a match, so she's performed, and she's working on the admin side.

8:44I think a lot of performers get selfish because they don't know what it takes to actually put on an event. Yes. We had talked about interviews, and sometimes people thinking, well, the job is just to put on the costume and say the words. This is the job. Yeah. Because you've got to know what it is to put on an event. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And at least she is experiencing all buckets of sports entertainment. Very much so, yeah. There's so many places out there to be able to call it. Like, this is my vocation. Yeah. This is what I do. Yeah. I'm very excited for a future. Yesterday was really fun.

9:16It was quite a big British independent show called Riot Cabaret. And it was like a gauntlet match. And she came in at the end. It's an amazing thing watching someone you love do it. Are you familiar with wrestling, sports entertainment? Yeah, so I was a big Attitude Era fan. Nice. Then came back to it a few years ago when she started to get into it. Okay, great. So she got into watching wrestling and then started to train. So you came back with the Tribal Chief and Cody Rhodes. Yeah, yeah. Excellent, excellent. And then, of course, your big final year as well. At least we got that in. Yeah. We have those moments.

9:48We went to Raw at O2 when you and Cody. The promo battles between you and Cody were absolutely incredible. I will say in relation to Matchbox, I had no one to bounce material off of except my wife, who is now didn't know anything about WWE. And it is now like she helps write promos. She would go over like our match finishes and be like, do you think you're not milking it long enough for the hot tag? I'd be like, oh, my God, that's exactly what I'm thinking. So over, you know, six or seven years, she has really dove into this exciting live performance. The only other person I could bounce stuff off was Sam Richardson.

10:21Oh, wow. And Sam would help me like he'd assess the promo. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then he would add. It was a great sounding board because I was shooting this and doing that at the same time. Really? Yeah. I would shoot all day and then take a flight. But I needed to be prepped. And I want to do my work. That way, when the crowd gives you something, you can pivot. We would write a lot of that stuff in between takes on Matchbox. Or I would come in with like, yo, I wrote this last night. What do you think? Oh, man. No, we'll just tweak it like this. And then we're going through the final boss, the wife.

10:50and then she would say, I think we're good to go. Put a stamp on it. See what you got. That's amazing. Yeah. When we went to Raw as well, we got a little tour backstage. Oh, cool. And we walked past you and you gave us a respectful nod and I thought, it's real.

11:03James Acaster: It's real. Hey, that's nice to get a respectful nod. I wish you'd have said hi, man. I wish you'd have said hi. I think it was sort of, you were locked in, you were chatting to people, but you still sort of just nodded when you walked past us in the corridor. My role now is way more lax and I'm still an advocate. I'll say it right here to give you guys some good information. I'm still an advocate to try to bring WrestleMania to London. Yes. I think London has earned the right to have the event. I agree. I am very excited about this year's WrestleMania because it is the first WrestleMania outside of North America.

11:32So it's like proof of concept that it can be done. I am still a strong advocate that this crowd, this city has earned the right to WrestleMania. Look, you've heard it here. Let's make it happen. I hope so. I hope so. What little stroke I have, I'll, I'll, I certainly, I tried to rile up the crowd a few times to say that London has earned WrestleMania and it did get people talking. Yeah. I don't know where those talks are at, but you know, hopefully maybe I can return to the O2 and stake that claim again. We'll see. Yeah. When, when you came out at money in the bank in London and said, I think London should have WrestleMania.

12:05I was thinking, I wonder if John's run this past anyone or whether he's just putting it out there himself. It's that was just me putting it out there. But honestly, it's just, it's just my perspective yeah i look around i see the energy and passion enthusiasm what a great city for people to come to wrestlemania is such a travel to event yeah it's one of my favorite cities in the world yeah i love london so i think it'd be a nice piece of culture for people to explore and experience wrestlemania you know the superbowl sports entertainment it we we need to do

12:36James Acaster: wrestlemania here just my perspective if it comes to london you should have like a really london centric wrestler I think at the heart of it and my wife loving this pitch does chips oh okay so her name's Charlie James her ring name is Charlie James but the other the other week she wrestled in a place called Hastings in the UK and it's a seaside town and they always have a match at the show where there's two wrestlers who play sort of local local legends or local folklore so her friend wrestled as the head of southern water like the water board who's a real bad guy okay uh and then my wife wrestled as a bag of chips what a what a stretch of the creative process yeah i know but i love all the really silly stuff as well yeah i love and i what i love about it is when performers invest in it oh she spent so long making her gear she had a newspaper newspaper outfit with chip crown squirt vinegar on herself people are going to those events to escape oh fully you know before in the early 95 is when they said it was entertainment before then you might feel like you've been sold to false bill of games it was 1995 it has been 30 years yeah you walk into the turnstile for a wrestling show you know you are there to escape yeah i love that stuff and i love when performers get into it i um i posted an instagram of like the pizza tossing wrestler yeah it was such a thoughtful thing and like he's all in on his is I can see the image, just a snap image and be like, get that.

14:09Let's see what happens. I love that. And man, God goodness. I hope she's, I hope she stays safe. Yeah. I hope she always has fun and I hope she, she finds a way to call the business or vocation. That's, that's the difficult thing, isn't it? Well, like I was watching her being like, I'm so excited for, I'm so proud of her that she's got to this point, but you're just like sick with worry the whole time as well, that there's going to be some sort of issue. Yeah. It's, it's a physical thing. and if we don't do anything physical, we don't do anything. I mean, the cool thing is we control the action, right?

14:38So you can mitigate risk as you want to. And I like, from a performance standpoint, I was never the most gifted as far as flipping and doing all that stuff. Every once in a while, I get myself in a good old fashioned car wreck just like everybody else. But I like the challenge of taking fundamental things in front of a crowd that's already interested and see how you can use that bag of tricks to keep them on edge for 45 minutes. Like that's the art. And in the meantime, being safe to the person you're working with. Yeah. Because we can go out there and just do some crazy stuff that genuinely hurts and is not, it doesn't put the math in our favor that we're going to be doing this for a long time.

15:19What I learned the most about live performance, especially in WWE, is it's not necessarily about what you do. It's about when you do it. it's about preparing so much before you go out there that you're able to pivot. O2 is famous for being like rowdy. Yeah. I had fights in the stands at an O2 event on television. We incorporated into the act. I had somebody get married. We incorporated into the match on live TV. They used to bring out the beach balls and gosh, management used to hate the beach balls and performers used to hate the beach balls because they're not looking at me. They're looking at the beach ball.

15:54Great. They're looking at something. we would look at the beach ball and then like the bad guy would get the beach ball and stomp it and maybe another one would come and i'd get to be fun we're gonna hit it away and then get hit like it we're all in it everybody's in it and the crowds in london like the the passion and the ability to i loved how they would challenge us with their chance you never know what they're gonna chance yeah because it's like they bring like that footballer vibe and you know like i I would always love it because I knew I had to be sharp. I knew I had to be ready. And I knew they were active.

16:27They're not saying like, they're wanting to be in. And those are the best things. And I think you can do a lot with risk mitigation, especially when a crowd, if a crowd is like this, okay, bring out your best stuff. But if a crowd is already at the edge of their seat and most crowds that go to, regardless of the size of the arena, most crowds want to be there. So just maybe pass that little nugget on. I will, absolutely. Risk mitigation. Risk mitigation. It's not about what you do. It's about exactly when you're doing it at the right time. Yeah. You know, and that's, you can say the same with Matchbox.

17:00We have so much comedy in the movie. Sam Richardson and Arturo Castro have great comedic timing. And it's not about the joke. The words when you say them on the paper, it's like, Jess, she made her stuff great, but she would often go to Sam and be like, how do I make this sentence funny? Because it doesn't sound funny on paper. and Sam would just be like, no, just go for it. Yeah. And Sam is such a master at like little nuanced things that might sound corny on the page. And he made the bit about the Leatherman work. Yeah. Like that's timing. It's not about what you're doing. It's about when you do it.

17:38Like that, there couldn't be a better example about like, they're setting this up for a joke or a bit. Yeah, the bit works. I like it. Okay, I'm satisfied. you know like it i hope she she takes that approach to her performance she's just enjoying it i think she's absolutely that's another thing and and you don't have to make it your vocation when i started out i was like i'm gonna keep this hobby as long as i can i think as long as you like doing it do it and don't worry about getting a goal from it just enjoy the journey yeah because man it dropped a whole ton of opportunity in my lap and each opportunity that got greater and I knew I had to make less normal life choices and lean into this crazy life.

18:17And that was all that was. It was like, okay, I got to put more attention here. That's all. Now I got to put more attention here. But I started just to do it on the weekends. And because the crowds are great. You get paid a little bit of money. You go on the road, you see a little bit of your home country or the world. You never know where it can lead you. But it was never like, I didn't lace boots being like, I'm going to be the greatest of all time. No, I just want to keep doing this. This is awesome.

18:42James Acaster: Let's start your dream menu now. We always start with still or sparkling water, John. Still, bottled still. Bottled still. Why bottled? Because today is day five of salmonella. No kidding. I am up against it, and I think it's because of some poor choices I made. Wow. If I had just gone bottled still, I might have been in a little bit of a place. Do you know what the poor choice that you made was? I might not have been asking for bottled still. Yeah. But a couple of days ago... back i think that was didn't you have the like premiere of this film like two days ago do you have salmonella at the like at the no no i'm in day five right now you're in day five yes so we've been we've been promoting for about 10 days ish you've been promoting this yeah i'm running a very nice temperature right now wow my joints hurt i've had salmonella before yeah which is kind of like day one or two i was upset like you know my body didn't feel right fever shakes everything trying to race out outside of your body from places it's not supposed to race and I'm like okay this might be just a 24 hour flu now that it's this is started day six yeah so I'm like okay I got two weeks of this stuff and sometimes you feel great and then sometimes it hits you and like we landed I had 90 minutes to myself I literally just crawled under a cover and couldn't get warm and then like after 90 minutes I was like okay make sure I'm hydrated get some electrolytes all right I feel good and here we are I don't think we've ever had a guest on the podcast is going to choose their dream meal while in it.

20:12What a teachable moment, right? Yeah, this is huge. If I had a take-back machine, bottled still. Hey, what water do you want? I'm going bottled still water. Are you going to be okay to talk about food for the next bit of time? Of course, man. I'm glad we're not digging into a hearty meal. Sure, yeah, yeah. I love talking about food. I believe food is not only nourishment, it's a need that we have. it's also been part of our culture where it's a conduit for connection yeah i love food i love the restaurant scene i also love a good home-cooked meal but man let's talk about food

20:44James Acaster: popadoms or bread popadoms or bread john cedar popadoms or bread what the hell is that first thing you're saying popadoms what is a popadom so if you're having an indian meal uh the big crispy sort of thin things they bring out gotcha so i gotta lean bread on that yeah and i'll tell you why i think uh papadums would be a form of bread right it'd be like a flat crispy bread yeah yeah yeah so i'm leaning into the fact that bread we talked about like food is a universal conduit for conversation bread like my wife is persian the taftun sangak uh variations of naan like the different types of breads and i grew up in my grandmother cooked italian food so like the breads you would get there um we just had i just did a bit where we did american thanksgiving we We had like Hawaiian rolls, like dinner rolls, the bread that represents the area.

21:36Bread, I believe, maybe tracing this back to ever since we became an agricultural species. That's the first thing that we're serving is bread. A great sourdough, my goodness. It's like, if you go fine dining, I'm a fan of fine dining. What I've noticed is a place I've gone, the bread course, they leave it in the middle because it's familiar with us. They usually give you a starter that shows what the restaurant can do. and the chef has like a free swing. Like this reminded me of Thanksgiving. My sister always loved this. This is what I'd like to serve you. And it's a bite this big, but it tastes, it's like WonkaVision.

22:10It tastes like the full dinner in phases. And then you go on to their offerings and right in the middle, you get bread. Yeah, I've noticed this because you would normally think that they bring out the bread first, right? Of course. They straight down on the table. Because that is also an approach for dining out. Yeah. The fine dining, I think, understands they have comfort. And sometimes they might have first timers who don't understand the experience. I'm going to give you that dose of comfort right in the middle. And that's going to warm you up for our mains, which you're probably going to be more familiar with.

22:39And then I'm going to give you a load of sweets to sit at home. That bread is such a universal language. Give somebody a good piece of bread. And I mean, I remember the first time I tried taftoon, I was like, this is dangerously good. I love a great croissant. I even classify that in the baked good bread line of like crispy, buttery, flaky, man. I think that's a hot take I think croissant being bread I'd allow it I'd allow it I allow it I think it's a hot take there's gonna people are gonna be popping off in the comments okay alright yeah they are that's what we're trying to do what do you think croissants are bread or not I would also go with a french baguette yeah that's definitely bread the chewiness of a baguette is different than like the crispiness of italian garlic bread and their places are so close yeah you know you get a different sandwich with focaccia than you do with a baguette like it's I don't know man And it's places so close to each other that will do bread different.

23:33In New England, it's like sourdough dominates the scene. And then you get towards the south and they love cornbread. Like even in the States, everybody's got a different way to do it.

23:43James Acaster: So for your dream meal, what bread would you like in the center of the table? Taftoon. I don't think I've had that before. So it is a thicker bread. Sangak is that thin bread that they throw against the clay oven. Oh, yeah. And Persians love sangak. For me, it's like too thin and crispy, but a lot of their great food is used with dips, like pheasant june and stuff like that. Essentially, my wife and my mother-in-law is going to kill me. Essentially, it's like hummus. Pheasant june is not. It's like a walnut sort of thing. It's fantastic. But a lot of their first presentation, their first round is bread with dip.

24:21I don't know. I like taftoon because it's fluffy. It's fluffy. It's glazed. It's spiced with like seeds. Persian food I learned was so big on spice. And I think spice, I think heat. No, spice is like saffron and barberry and like the really forward stuff that's aromatic. And it's not like an episode of Hot Ones. You know, it's truly spicy food. And there's beautiful, all the herbs they put into stuff of like gorma sabzi. It's spice forward, but a different sort of spice. Taftoon is a nice, soft bread that is addicting. And there's no cutting it. You just tear off the piece you want. You go into the dips.

25:02It's a good experience. I'll take that. Does your wife make this bread? She can. The relationship that I have and what I've learned of Persian culture is you get the good bread place. Yeah, okay, yeah. You get your bread. You go to the Persian bread place to get the bread. The food, the mains, are usually what is made with love. like that's the the tadik and the resh to polo and like that's where like the bottom of the pot saying comes from persian food where they they cook the rice in this huge pot and they butter it at the bottom and then you flip it over and it's this tower of stuff that has so many layers and this crispy buttery thing holds the pyramid together so you can slice it like a pie and there's meat and herbs in the middle or noodles and like it's it's really good it's good i love that that's usually made with yeah and you find the bread place you leave it to the x you gotta to go to the bread.

25:52James Acaster: Yeah. But I think that's true of all bread. That should be true of all bread. You find a better place. Like during COVID, during lockdown, everyone was like, I've started to make sourdough. I was like, there's a baker's down there. Yeah. I'm going to go to the guy who makes it. And attainable. Yeah, so attainable. An expert level sourdough is not putting you out. Yeah. Yes. I'm not going to screw it up time after time when this guy's down the road. But if it's something you wanted to pursue, that's cool. But if it's something you're doing just like, well, we'll do it homemade. No, let's put the equity somewhere else.

26:20Let's go to the bread place.

26:24James Acaster: Your dream starter, John? I tend to always go with like a tartare and it could be fish, it could be meat, but I tend to always go with like a tartare. And that's where I'm going to deviate from Persian courses. I tend to go with a tartare mixed with a menu small bite. Like I'll always ask the restaurant, like, what are you known for? and I'll try their menu small bite. Like for apps wise, you got to try this. Some places have crushed with like little sliders. Fried green tomatoes have been some of my favorite. But every place I go will have a variation of like a tartare. And I enjoy if it's a menu and I'm not, these are the courses we're serving.

27:05If I have a choice, I usually go in that direction.

27:07James Acaster: Beef, would you lean towards the beef? So it doesn't matter. Like if a place will just, I've done salmon, tuna, vegan, beef. Table side? Do you like when they come and do the tartar table side? I do. I do. I love a good table side dish because it is happening right in front of you. There's a great place in my home in Tampa, Florida called Roca who does a mozzarella table side. Oh, nice. It's about 2000 calories, but it is beautiful. And it's just mozzarella and the most wonderful tomatoes. And it's so simple and beautiful. And the presentation table side is great. I like the pomp and circumstance of table side.

27:41Do you think after being a wrestler for so long? and now doing films and being in Hollywood, can you still sort of see things and immediately calculate the calories in them and work out what you should be eating and what you shouldn't be? So I count my calories and I don't have an app or anything. My wife was like, how the fuck do you know what is in four ounces of tartare? I'm like, well, it's eggs. They probably use this percent beef or whatever. And I started counting calories when I bought my first weight gainer at 12. So I knew like two cups of milk, two scoops of stuff is worth like 2 ,500 calories.

28:16Then I got too chunky. I'm like, oh, got to pull back on the calories. I don't not eat high caloric stuff. I love high caloric stuff. And when I have a graph that shows like, man, too many days, just bring it back down. Just bring it back down. No more mozzarella for the next week. So if I have it, I'll earn it. I'll try to earn it by making sure I regulate. Have it, enjoy it. Don't feel guilt. I don't believe in the concept of a cheat day because I want to be accountable for what I eat. It's just I'm choosing to eat this. I'm not bending the rules because I did great this week so I can do whatever I want.

28:53No, I'll have cake. I just had banoffee pie. I love that. That's going to come up later in the conversation. I enjoy that stuff and I'm accountable for it. I know every – because they don't do pie cans in the U.S., but like every 12 ounces of Guinness, 140 calories. Every pint, around 200. Like if I'm going light beer, drinks count too, you know? So a glass of wine, 140, 240 calories, red or white, it's going to be a little more sweet. Like I do know that and it doesn't dominate my thoughts. I know some people that will, and I'm guilty of this too, because I started out really heavy on fitness, go to a restaurant and bring their own stuff.

29:31Yeah. Don't. That's a buzzkill. Just don't do that. That's not a good idea.

29:42James Acaster: Your dream main course. Dream main course. I would definitely say steak. And this is a meat follow-up with a meat. It's kind of a faux pas. Well, you could have fish for the starter if you wanted to. You just said tartar. And also like the menu wheel of fortune. Like, hey, what are you going to serve me? I mean, we talked about not caring about caloric stuff. A great ribeye steak. A great ribeye steak. It's the king of the steaks. and I'll, I'll go in on it. Like very rarely will I carve the fat off a ribeye. I will incorporate it into a bite and make it like a 50, 50. Uh, and I know like there's other forms, like the, the marbling of the Wagyu and stuff like that.

30:25There's something about a, a great effort on a medium rare cook on a, just a big old ribeye steak. And it's something I can share with my wife. I used to eat it all myself. I wasn't used to, I come from a family of five boys. wasn't much of a food sharing person. She's opened my eyes to dining experiences. Also like, hey, let's get something we can both enjoy. So that's something you can slice for the table. Everybody can enjoy a little piece of it. That's like the cornerstone right there. Yeah. I mean, it's nice that you share and I like to share as well, but if I'm mad at this, that's not true.

30:59I love sharing.

31:00James Acaster: You've gone on record many times this podcast saying that you hate sharing your food with people. Don't embarrass me in front of John Cena. sometimes you bonded very well with John I was at me for years I changed my tune six seven years ago okay so I've got time you changed your tune this morning did you yeah I changed my tune this morning just before I came in yeah okay but if I'm making the steak and I'm carving it and then I might be either laying out the whole thing but I will make sure that if I see a really good bit that's coming to me of course yeah yeah chef's treat this is this is glory and the choices I don't have to navigate because I don't cook.

31:38Yeah, okay.

31:39James Acaster: Is there a place you've had the best ribeye that for your dream meal you would like that ribeye again? I got to tell you, the Polo Bar in New York City, they have, it's a lot of fun, like spin the wheel of apps, right? They have a corned beef sandwich that's a shareable app. That's awesome. They have pigs in a blanket, which is pretty much hot dogs and mustard. That's fantastic. So they got a lot of different stuff that's like common comfort food done fancy. Fancy? Their ribeye steak, man, just crushes. And I mean, I'm from Tampa, home of Burns. That's an internationally known steakhouse. They do what they do.

32:19The steaks there are going to be great. the wife and I like to go to some specific places at home that specifically do steak meat market in Tampa. If you're ever in Hyde park, if you ever get to the States, you got to go see that place. It's great. But the steak at the polo bar and the ribeye steak specifically is like, I've been at a great steakhouse is out here. Um, goodness, like, uh, travels have taken me to the middle East to, to, uh, Morocco, where we shot for the movie to Hungary, which is a bastion of fine dining. The wife and I just went on a food trip to Copenhagen. Like there's some great stuff out there.

32:57That ribeye at the polo bar, man, I can't order anything else. I can't. And they have such a great menu. They do like a different burger every night when you're in there. And the regular burger on the menu is fantastic. All their fish is so good. I can't not order the ribeye.

33:13James Acaster: I feel like you and Ed bonded a lot at the start of this podcast because of Ed's wrestling wife. I'm going to try and bond with you now. You ready? Let's bid for connection. Here we go. By the way, James, just in future, when you try and bond with people, it's best not to announce you're going to bond with them. That's okay. I'm bidding for connection. Let's go. I think you've put a small wall up. Carry on. You and I have worked with the same director. No kidding. Kay Cannon. Oh my goodness. That's a great bid for connection. Yeah, that's really good. I hope to come back and sit down and talk about another menu when we do One Attempt Remaining for Netflix that's going to come up in the future.

33:49That's a Kay Cannon film. Oh, great. Me and Jen Garner. She did Blockers, and that was her... I might have been her debut as a full...

33:58James Acaster: And it's an amazing film. Director. Thank you so much. It's so funny. We have a great working relationship together. I truly care a lot, so much about Kay. Our relationship is far beyond professional courtesy. We talk about good stuff, and there's a lot of growth there. And man, she's so funny. she does not lack energy yeah or punchlines and gosh she uh i like being on set with her she really cares about what she's doing she's super prepared she takes advice like man it's it's good to see her work and i was i was gracious enough to be able to run it back with her so i i for the first uh well for all my time working with k on set i didn't know what her whole face looked like because it was during covid yeah yeah what a tough time i had no idea until we did the adr over zoom and then I could see her face properly.

34:44Did you not think it was a Googler? No, I'd like it to be a surprise. Did it fit the bill? Or did you have an image in your head of what she looked like and it was different?

34:56James Acaster: I assumed that under the mask, it was going to be another mask. So it was crazy to me. It was like a mouth and a nose and everything. Another door, another door, another door. I played John the Mouse. James was a mouse. John the Mouse in Cinderella. right on yeah I replaced John Mulaney at the last minute so my character's name stayed the same John yeah it's got a good ring to it it's pretty cool you're a great mouse man thank you mate yeah and I think that bonding went really well I do yeah we bonded we did here's another question for you sure as a wrestler what's my biggest fear I'm kidding as a wrestler turned out to what you say to people who think that acting is fake I think that's a good assessment of what we do yeah yeah I was quite proud of that.

35:43James Acaster: I thought of it on the way here. It's good. It's good. I will say, I've been answering questions for a long time. I've never been asked that question. I hope people don't ask that. Yeah, yeah. You've probably been asked this one before. In terms of going from wrestling to acting, the wrestling version of performance seems to have loads of different layers to it in terms of you're performing for the back row of wherever you're wrestling, but also like actual close-up cameras as well. So, So my thought process was to never worry about the cameras. And I know that that kind of goes against some of the teachings that are going on now.

36:20I always took, and we talked about the audience for the O2, I always take the audience as part of the act. And if I'm trying to talk to somebody at home and these people have paid money are seeing that I'm talking to somebody at home. Now I'm also infamous for looking in the camera because I do want to connect with that person. But if I work my whole performance to a camera with a crowd in the background, I'm not bidding for connection. I'm shutting them out. I always wanted to just make it look, if you were flipping channels and there's an arena full of people going apeshit, no, I'll check this out.

36:54I'll see what this is about. So you bring up a good point of like, where's the line? And I know a lot of the teaching nowadays is like focus on your audience at home because they're your largest audience. my philosophy is if the largest audience is like what's this about they want to see chaos they don't want to see people go get hot dogs yeah so i would i would really stress we wwe is adding more cameras every day somebody's going to catch it somebody's going to catch it and if you're working at a smaller place it only maybe has one camera my thing is to get another opportunity you want to make people like or hate you and that's in the building and if the people watching at home on like local access or streaming if they see people hate you they'll stick even though you might not be on the one camera so i would think it's way more way more grandiose and way more involved it can also be super intimate too i remember in some of the make-a-wish experiences i would talk and get tips from kids like hey you want to see anything out there tonight or what do you think it's going to help me win this thing and i would know the the curation of the evening they'd be like i think if you do this right at this time then you'll have an opportunity to hit them with the attitude adjustment you can win like i never thought of that and i would work it in and i would literally find out where they were seating and be like hit the aa and right before i go for the cover thank you and then hook for a three where it's like an intimate moment and then back to the show yeah so you can have moments here i just don't think you should play the whole thing here i don't think you should worry about the nuance that's the thing with making a movie there's no crowd so all i'm left with is this and you can't do this if we're doing close i got to do off those are the toughest things looking into your eyes i mean you can evoke emotion out of me looking at that brown spot on the camera and being like man that brown spot just did some real nefarious stuff to you.

38:56Trauma you've had. That's why I love watching pros.

39:06James Acaster: Your dream side dish, John. Sides. Love me the veggies. I also think people are doing such creative stuff with vegetables. It's not just steamed, boiled, like they're not flavorless pieces of fiber. People are having so much fun with broccolini and Brussels sprouts and cauliflower and seasonal stuff. Man, there's like a whole pea season over here. I went to find down here where everything was pea-based. It's amazing to see what you can do with your local produce and how you can incorporate in dishes. So I would say I'm looking at the green sides and leaning into that. That would be the accoutrement for the steak.

39:48And my crew likes fries. So I got to order some chips. I got to know the room. I got to order my crew some chips. You got a crew. Well, like I said, I have the courage to eat alone. I would prefer, if I'm going out especially for dinner, to be amongst friends. So if you're a dream meal, who's the crew? Who's coming with you? I would say there's eight to ten people in that circle. Wow. I like to say we do not protect the word love, but we don't waste it either.

40:16James Acaster: That's quite powerful. Yeah. We openly share our feelings, but it's not ad nauseum. Everybody knows where they're at. There's so many phrases that you said today, John, that I'm going to take into my life. And I think we can share our feelings, but not ad nauseum is definitely one of them. Right on. We got a takeaway. So we got some chips and we got some veggies. Do you know what veggies you'd like with a ribeye steak? I would definitely go for broccolini, and most places will put some heat on it, like some chili flakes. I would go for a sautéed spinach. Some places will throw mushrooms in there or like a garlic chop and like kind of wilt, yet heat the spinach outside of the sauté to give it a little burn on it.

40:57Definitely burnt cauliflower. I love like true – places will say it's grilled cauliflower. It'll come out without burn marks on it. Love the burnt cauliflower. Yeah, I think that's kind of where I'm at. Mushrooms. Whenever I go to – Russell sprouts too. Whenever I go to the States, I'm like, still, the States are doing crazy things with sprouts. Russell sprouts too. Yes. That can get away from you calorie-wise because a lot of places do like thick cut bacon inside the sprouts, but like the glaze on the sprouts and they are like little heads of lettuce, but it's like fire roasted little heads of lettuce.

41:27They're crunchy. They're crispy. Sometimes they serve the purpose of a good fry. Like when they deep fry them. Man, they're good. They're very good. That makes the list as well.

41:36James Acaster: Sometimes actors say that like, you know, There are certain characters they play that are quite similar to themselves. Of all the characters you played, which one would be enjoying this meal the most right now? My goodness. I would probably say I got to play the President of the United States for Heads of State. And he was a whiskey-drinking actor turned politician. I think he would enjoy that.

42:02James Acaster: Dream drink. Would he enjoy this dream drink of yours? So this is a flight. I would start out with an espresso martini. That is always the open. You got to go downers and uppers and have them crash. That's the fun of the evening. Then I would follow it with wine. We usually dive into reds and not, I used to like super bold reds. I'm getting old. It's a pal, it's a little softer. So we're taking it back a little bit. Like a Bordeaux or a Burgundy or even Chateau Neuf-du-Pape. Like something that's a little bit not as strong out of the gate, you know. And the great thing about wine is there's so many out there.

42:36So I'm constantly learning about it. Like, oh, this is kind of what I like. This is right in that lane. Yeah. Then possibly after dinner, if you're going with a single malt, I would love something like that. Like, I love the smoke. So anything from like Lagavulin, Freud, Ardbeg. I'm trying to remember the guys who do Peat Monster. There's a bunch of them out there that bring the smoke. And I love when you can smell it coming to the table. Oh, wow, yeah. My wife's like, your drink's here. Yes, it is. And then, of course, you got to do the nightcap. and I'm just shoehorning this in because of my love of coffee, flat white.

43:10That's normally a breakfast drink for me, but I got to get it on the program because I love a great flat white. I've heard this about you, that you're a big coffee nut. You love coffee. So it's weird. I would say I'm as much of a coffee nut as I am a wine nut. You get a real wine expert here, and I will be like, I don't understand a word you just said. And if you get a real roaster, a real barista here, they'll be like spitting out words I don't understand. whenever I go to a great place that has a variety of roasts, I always let the house choose. Yeah. Because I want to let the artist have control.

43:42I think that's a smart thing to do because I was like, I'm going to get into wine. I decided I was going to get into wine. And then you realize there's, what, 100 ,000 great varieties? And then there's no way of knowing wine. It's a cool exercise in asking for help too. Yeah. Like, hey man, can you guide me? I kind of, I had this before. I kind of like it. What do you like? And you can like put them under a press. What do you like that tastes like this? But I only have this to spend. and that like, Psalms don't fold. They like to have their goalposts and they always give recommendations that they feel strongly about.

44:14You know, so, and I think the same as with coffee. I love that, that get up in the morning and I'm just shoehorning in. I don't know if I'd do it at the end of the night, but I love that like two shots of espresso, five ounces of steamed milk, a little bit of art on the coffee served in a nice porcelain mug, maybe with a saucer. I don't know. You can have a saucer. oh, come on, it's your dream meal. We'll get you a saucer.

44:36James Acaster: I like it, yeah. My tour manager used to work for quite a big coffee chain and her job was to go around the world and source the beans. And now she's like tour managing for a lot of comedians and all of her friends are tour managers for bands and stuff. They all share this map where if they find a good coffee place, they put it on the map, which I've now got access to. And it's changed my life. I got the same map. Yeah, yeah. I don't have that map. I have my coffee crew who we do that. You got it. This one's called Wanky Coffee. Nice. I don't know if yours would be called that. We do not have a name for our group.

45:13You guys have cornered the market on Wanky Coffee. You can maybe go with Wanky Coffee too. Wanky Coffee also. Even also Wanky Coffee. Wankier coffee, yeah. More wank in this coffee? We'll workshop it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do you have places in London that you go to that you know is really good places man um i love the restaurant hide here and they got a small breakfast place called hideaway uh we me and the wife dig to walk in hide park there's a small place in one of the back alleys i want to keep it private that way i can keep it private i just went to a place called shot which is like a true beanery and they have like a 32 pound flat white oh yeah that is an expensive beverage yeah so much so that i went there and i'm like i'm can i just have the six six pound one like what the what the fuck it can't be worth it can it so you never know right uh what what i found in my journeys through all that is i don't have the depth of field to tell there's that level of expert right who can tell that's not me yeah essentially you're wasting it on me i fall right in the like the middle of if it if the work is good and you're confident about the beans, somewhere in the middle is where I should be.

46:32That's how I choose wine and all the stuff that has levels of expertise and a price tag associated with it. I know never go to top floor. And unless you get a true inside baseball tip, probably not the basement either. Try to get somewhere healthy in the middle because there are a lot of folks out there doing stuff. Man, I saw that and I was like, what must that be like? And I punted. I didn't go for it. But I got like a six or seven pound flat white. And it was incredible. So now I'm kind of curious. I got to keep going. They do have like the, they rope you in with incentives. There's like a 10 pound, 12, 15, 18, 22.

47:14And then it's like scotch. That's another thing. Because I talked about single mall. Like Lagabula in 16 is my favorite. You don't have to have something that's been in a barrel for 40 years. Somebody's going to ask you for a mortgage payment. to have an ounce and a half of goodness i can't tell the difference that that bottle of 16 man if i want to spring i'll go distiller's edition which is a great drink it's just maybe 1.5 times the bottle so you're still not going to the stratosphere and it it supplies me with what i

47:46James Acaster: need yes yeah i went big on a flat white in london where it was like about that price someone had told me like it is worth it you should go and it was like a there was like liquid nitrogen involved and all this kind of stuff and uh it said the notes on it so I thought I'll get that one and I walked away and it was delicious but what I thought was it tastes like a Neapolitan ice cream and I thought that means I'm probably not drinking it right and I did spend too much on this if I'm walking away going it tastes like a lovely ice cream then I'm probably to me it feels like if you're spending that amount on a shot of espresso, it feels like putting milk in it's wrong.

48:25James Acaster: Yeah, sure. I mean, well played. Well played. And a lot of the coffee folks I talk to always want me to have drip, pour coffee. Yeah. Because then you can really taste the aroma. I'm like, dude, I'm not here for drip coffee. Drip coffees, I've been drinking that stuff in America. Huge coffees are just watered down coffee. I get it. It smells like peach. That's fine. blueberry that's great i want the strong stuff yeah i want to be able to take that glass and milk it for 45 minutes this is this is where i'm living you know but a lot of the a lot of the drip stuff is where you can taste the notes yeah i i will say it is a cool discovery when someone says like here try a little bit of this you'll taste saffron in this and i've never been exposed to that before we had an experience with coffee where it was saffron coffee and because i now have a little bit of fluency there.

49:17I was like, man, this is, I taste it. There is that discovery of like, it's in there.

49:23James Acaster: More with coffee than with wine as well. When people say to me, these are the notes in the wine, I don't really pick them up. But with coffee. Rusty bolts. Yeah, sure. An old leather sock. Tennis balls is a genuine note for people. Yes, yeah. And I talked to a winemaker once and I was like, why, why that? Like, why do you guys do that? and he's like do you have a memory of a smell from a kid before i could even he hooked me before i'm yeah when my dad used to cut the grass with his lawnmower fresh cut grass in new england in august he's like yeah so if you had a glass of wine and you had that and you smelled it you wouldn't just tell me fresh cut grass yeah and say fresh cut grass in august i'm like yeah i get it yeah the people doing this have been around so much scent and earthy scent all of their life they're working in rhinoes with rusty bolts a lot of times old leather stuff so all of that earth and all their descriptors they've just been around it their whole life and when somebody was like oh yeah i i understand it i just don't have the depth of field to make the connection yet dream dessert we knew where this was going good night God save the queen God save the king thank you union jack this is the best dessert in the world for me I'm a New England kid who grew up on ice cream I love me some cookies banoffee pie man it is the best dessert I've ever had do you remember the first time you had banoffee pie I do backstage WWE WWE.

51:01And when we used to tour the UK and Europe, catering would be sustenance, but they're also feeding the grips, the stage hands, the lighting guys, the sound guys, the TV techs, the wrestlers, which they take up a bulk of the nutrition. They got to feed a lot of people. So we're cooking on mass and we're not exactly like, it's not a fine dining experience. And the catering crew would always put out sheets, like big bowl sheets of Banoffee pie. And we used to do tours over here for like 21 days. And you'd only get Banoffee in London or Manchester. So we'd do like Nottingham and then jump to Paris and then do Lyon and then do like some of the tents and like Blackpool, some of the seaside towns.

51:47Wow. And then we would be looking at London. Not for the show. Granted, the O2 would be packed, like 19 ,000 people. for the banana. So I think it was like that one sweet treat I knew I was going to get and it never, it always delivered. And then I would go back to the States and tell people about like, there's this thing over there and it's like crust and goo and bananas in it and it's clotted cream with chocolate on top. It's banana toffee pie. Do you know anybody that makes this? No. I didn't realize it wasn't a thing in the States. Dude, what a jit.

52:23James Acaster: This is why you're of a big WrestleMania here. Here's the best. It is. Here's the best thing in the world as far as a dessert. Wow, this is. See you next year. It's interesting. We had a guest on, Sanjeev Bhaskar, who's like, just a national treasure here, comic actor. And he chose Banoffee Pie and wanted it from, like, he was telling the story about this catering crew who did it on a TV show he was making. So it might be that catering Banoffee Pie, we've had it before. They know they got that ace in their back pocket. Yeah. A TV show we've both done, and James did it a couple of series before me, but said, when you're filming it, one day will be Banoffee Pie Day, and that's going to be the best day.

53:03It's the best day. It sure is. Yeah, it's a day that could tear you apart with Perotas.

53:08James Acaster: So would you like the catering Banoffee Pie? That, from those guys? Because, you know, that is definitely like my nostalgia. That is my pinpoint. Since then, I've tried various levels of Banoffee and found a few cool spots that do it internationally there's one in la that knocks it out of the park um there's one in tampa that tried it they missed uh i can get it in atlanta atlanta doesn't want uh you can definitely get it in new york i got it man they got me a great one in dc for my last match and like i'm pretty janky on gifts i mean i'm i realize how lucky i am in life and i've been awarded so much i don't want anyone to spend their resources on anything i got it but dude when they dropped that in the locker room especially after the match i was like everybody away from the fucking pie this is mine i'm taking it they got this for me that's mine try to pee around the pie so nobody takes it it is it is delicious did you do the whole pie in one sitting i have it is i've learned to share with my wife so we got into the locker room i'm still covered in post-match yeah in the jorts shoes are left in the ring so like i'm in my socks and we split that pie and crushed it so this has actually added a whole new perspective for me about your last match because obviously what an amazing final match and you smile before you tapped out.

54:39Yeah. Thought it was a beautiful moment, but now I know you're smiling because you were thinking about the banoffee pie. My goodness, we're going in. Yeah. I made it. I'm in one piece. I still have my taste buds. Let's go. Yeah. And that's an exclusive for the Off Menu podcast. That's huge. Yes. Yes. The normal post-match ritual is a few cold ones in reflection. And I got to tell you, Coors Light mixes with banoffee fine. Oh, yeah? It was great. American Light water beer

55:08James Acaster: mixes with banoffee just fine. And you're having no ice cream with this banoffee pie. It's just the pie. The pie itself is just a showstop. Like anything added is truly a hat and a hat. Some of the stuff, I just tried navel cake for the first time this morning. That needs like a British navel cake. So it's like a, kind of like a stout ganache with bits, crispy bits and fluffy bakery bits in it in almost like the checkerboard or that's the way it was served. chocolate dust on top and it was served with a scoop of alamode and you do need it. Sticky toffee pudding, you gotta have ice cream. Yeah, yeah.

55:44Like that, they complement each other well. The cream in Banoffee is the, like that's the hero. That's the ice cream hero. You don't need anything else on it. It's good everything.

55:55James Acaster: And just checking in, checking in at the end of the episode, how's your salmonella doing? After having talked about food for this long? So I gotta tell you, it comes in waves. Yeah. and sitting here, like once you shut the door, I'm like, there's no way I'll make it. Yeah. There's, I see it's a soundproof room. So there's a door and another door. Yeah. So I'm fucked either way. It's actually two. Yeah. One door, two more doors. Yeah. You're done. So I'm, I'm either going to not shit myself or shit myself. Yeah. And right now your chair is safe, but there have been waves of like, Oh yeah. Yeah.

56:25Yeah. Well, that'll be fun for anyone who's watching the episode on YouTube to try to pinpoint the moments where he was like, Oh, he is not thinking about food at all. He's just thinking about keeping the exit door closed and making sure nothing ruins the chair.

56:38James Acaster: It would be an honor if you, we would be honored if you had shat yourself. It's what the body does. And sometimes you just got to lean into it. But I'm glad I could not ruin any equipment as well as the smell of the studio would be changed forever. There's wrestlers who've done that, right? During matches. I've done that. Oh yeah? Yeah, I've done that. When I was still wearing boots and tights and I would wear like a different set of boots and tights every city I went to. Gosh, this was 20, 21 years ago. We had an event up in Moncton, Canada, and I was wrestling Scott Steiner and Bull Buchanan was with me for some reason.

57:13Like I had someone who could step in and save the day. The tights that I chose were like black with orange in the middle. And I had food poisoning. And I was of this old school thought of like, rub some dirt on it and get back out there. and keep in mind we get paid by performance you want to do you want to make the town because that's money in your pocket i'm still young in the business i want to get out in front of this crowd so i kind of not i don't tell anybody that i'm not feeling too well and i have legit food poisoning and i go out there and we start messing around in the first suplex he gave me i full-on shit myself and not only did i do that i shit myself so you can see like the you can see it yeah it's clear and then like it's smell-o-vision for the first few rows there's always a wwe live event representative sitting ringside deal communicating case of emergency boy was there an emergency so roll out i get on my hands as this brown pool of liquid is just making these shorts unusable and I'm like, where do I throw up?

58:20And he's like, what? Like, I am going to throw up. He's like, under the ring. So in the match, I crawled under the ring. I applaud Scott and Bull. Bull jumped in. They did a little match. I puked for what felt like months. And I don't know how much the human body can hold, but I know how much mine can because I saw it all. And a lot of it had come out the other end anyway. Yes, I couldn't believe it. Like, wow, this is impressive. And then I ran right back into the match, just in time for Scott Snyder to like, I'm going to give you my finish. I got beat. Boy, did I fucking sprint out of there.

59:00Needless to say, it was not on the next show.

59:02James Acaster: I mean, well done to Scott Snyder for actually agreeing to carry on wrestling you. So I took that one bump and lost. And he might have covered me with his foot on me, which is okay. Man, the refs had it tough that night. Big ups to my partner in crime, Bill Buchanan, for saving the day. I learned to always, it's okay. If you're not feeling chipper, leave it to somebody who that's their decision to make. And then they tell you what's going on. Yeah. Have you ever had that on a film as well? Been under the weather? And when you watch the film, you're like, that's the day when I wasn't feeling great?

59:38James Acaster: So many times, many times. And that's the nuance of the profession. You've got to compartmentalize that. um jackie chan who i admire uh and respect and i think he's one of the greatest physical storytellers of our generation i got to do a film with him and watching him work is spectacular the hours are long it was in china and uh the days are long and he knows when to pull back but he's always keeping himself busy and he is like this energizer bunny and i kind of tried to poke him for information he's like what am i going to do go to every theater and tell these people that I was tired that day, they're there to watch.

1:00:18This is what we do. And that is a very tough, hard-nosed lane, but you can never see it. He found a way to check it at the door, and when they said action, the character he needed to play was on screen. And I've climbed those hills. A lot of my partners, castmates have climbed those hills. We all know when you get a certain level in the movie business, we all know what a day of production costs. You want to just keep doing it. You know, if I don't want to lose this luck because I held up production, you know, so you want to press forward. You want to press on. I'm literally here with Salmonella.

1:00:54I'm running a fever. My joints feel like rust. Like my body feels like shit. Literally things are coming out of me that I'm like, how is I had that like two weeks ago? And it's in liquid form. What's going on? So like, but this is, this is why we do what we do. And not all things just because they're rewarding should be easy. And we talked this morning about like, hey, you want to punt on this stuff? And I'm like, no, I think I can do it. And if I need to pull the trigger, I hope people will understand. But I'm also going to speak honestly. Now I'm speaking to your audience and they know I'm sick.

1:01:28And that's a courageous choice because we want to look perfect for you guys. We want to look like I'm trying to sell you this movie and I want you to be, you know, have a sense of gravity of what I'm saying. so it's a brave choice to come on it's also a brave choice to speak honestly with you guys and now if I bolted out of there you'd have a good laugh because you know exactly what I was going to do but in seeing all those doors I would not make it not just it would be the scene in Bridesmaids where she's just shitting in the street

1:01:55James Acaster: yeah well John we will let you run now and get through all these doors nice and safe I'm just going to take a look at what you guys got for a restroom just see what it's about yeah it's okay we've got a choice of two It will not be okay in 20 minutes. So when you go in, there's two. I'd take the one on the right because I prefer the one on the left. So I'd rather... Okay, great. I'd rather you just do what you have to. I'm a right guy, so that's my day ruined. Enjoy the modern art. Thank you so much, John. I'm going to read your menu back to you now, see how you feel about it. Sounds good. You would like a bottle of still water.

1:02:28James Acaster: You want taftoon bread. You would like tartare, whatever tartare the restaurant has. You would like a ribeye steak medium rare from the Polo Bar. in New York City. Nice. Broccolini with chili flakes, saute spinach, mushrooms, garlic, burnt cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, fries for the crew. You would like espresso martini, red wine, Bordeaux, burgundy, Lagervillen 16 though, you love that. And a flat white, and dessert, of course, it's a banoffee pie. That's a great menu. That's a really good menu. That sounds really good. I'm there for every single menu. We appreciate it a lot. Thanks for having me on, guys.

1:02:59James Acaster: Hey, thanks for coming on. Wish you all the best with this film. Thank you guys. Watch Matchbox. I have gone through some shit today. Yeah. For real. He deserves it. Watch. No. Oddly enough, I want to end the interview with this. I have eliminated that word from my vocabulary. He doesn't deserve anything. That's right. And that's the way I feel. What do we really deserve, right? There are folks that are, I mean, people are up against a lot of stuff. What do we really deserve? I'd like to say that hopefully by sharing my story with you, I have earned it. And I have earned your trust. And I hope you watch Matchbox on Apple TV when it comes out.

1:03:34and I hope you enjoy it because I am putting all my holes into it. My heart and holes. My heart and soul. That was what I meant. My heart and soul. My heart and holes into it. John, thank you so much for putting all your holes into this interview. Thank you guys. Fantastic to talk to you. Thank you, John. And good luck to the missus, man. Absolutely. I'll pass it on. Right on.

1:03:59Well, I'm so happy we did that chat, man. What a pro. What a pro. What a guy. I feel like he engaged with us very well, but I feel like if we hadn't said anything, he would have delivered a fantastic episode anyway.

1:04:11James Acaster: Absolutely. And like, do you want to see a little impression? I'm going to do an impression for you. Yeah. Of me with Salmonella on the morning that I've got a podcast. Yeah. Okay. You be my PR. Okay. Ring me up. I'm not doing it. I would do an impression of me in a similar situation, but it would be the same as yours. yeah sure yeah you wouldn't even you'd text it I'd text it you wouldn't even pick up the phone I'd just send a picture of the toilet yeah not doing it yeah have a look at that you think I'm coming in thank you so much John watch Matchbox the movie on Apple TV now it's a hell it's a hell a lot of fun hell a lot of fun and he didn't say matchmakers of course thank you John but if you had we would have done nothing we would have done absolutely nothing we would have asked Benito to let us change the secret ingredient and re-record that beginning bit so we're cowards Also, we've received some goodies recently from the nice people at Rapscallion Soda.

1:05:07James Acaster: Thank you to them. I mean, they're very nice botanical sodas. Going down very well in the office, Benito tells me. Oh, yeah. Every time I see Benito's crew, they've got a can of Rapscallion in their hand. Yeah, they're a bunch of Rapscallions. They are, actually. We call them that. We complain about them every single, every AGM. Yeah. Look, if you're listening to this, do watch it on the YouTube because you missed out on a lot if you're not watching it. Like, I'm pretty sure I'm just making Google eyes at John Cena for the whole thing. You absolutely are. And while you're on YouTube, subscribe to at Craig Simons Live.

1:05:41That's really good content. Some really good content. That guy's a little weird, but I think there's some good stuff coming out. Come and see me on tour next year, Fresh Hell, edgamble.co.uk for tickets. And very quickly before we go, I just want to tell you about a joke James did that I really enjoyed while we were waiting for John Cena to arrive. Benito was on the phone outside and he was speaking to someone on John Cena's team and said where are you I can't see you and James said I'd imagine he's talking directly to John Cena there

1:06:07James Acaster: really happy with that yeah really happy with it kind of gutted it wasn't going to be on the pod yeah but he's look John Cena has heard all of these jokes before yes this is why we're saving these for after yeah I didn't want to bombard him with them I was pretty hesitant to say my little you know acting being fake joke I thought maybe he's heard that that's good man when he said he hadn't heard it before that was good because you can't be like hey, John, here's my joke about you can't see me. Yes. Or like, you know, attitude adjustment. Yeah. Or any of that, or the FU, which was previously known.

1:06:40That's like someone in an interview with you being like, what about cabbage?

1:06:44James Acaster: I mean, that's all that happens every time I get into it. They say, you've been cabbaged recently. Hey, James, started making it, had a breakdown. Bon appétit. No question. Yeah. At the end of that, they just look at me, want me to talk about that. and I guess nowadays it's going to be how you doing you fucking traitor thanks very much for watching and listening we'll see you next time remember share your feelings but not ad nauseam take care of yourselves but not ad nauseam you deserve you've earned it thank you

1:07:28Thank you.