Ixta Belfrage

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2:34Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the thin Melba toast of conversation, spreading on the chicken liver pate of humour. And what else have you put on that? Like a sort of sweet chutney, maybe? Do you like a bit of chutney with that, James?

2:50James Acaster: That is it, Gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant. And every single week we invite a guest to ask them their favourite ever start. A main course dessert, cider shan drink. Not in that order. And this week our guest is... Easter Belfridge. Easter Belfridge is a wonderful chef, James. Creates incredible cookbooks. And of course, created one of your favourite dishes. My God. And mine actually. The corn lasagna. So amazing. The habanero prawn lasagna. I had it on live television on Sunday brunch, and I wolfed it down, ate it all, and I think, I believe I even finished KSI's.

3:30What a celebrity life you lead, James. That's what happens when you go on Sunday brunch, man. So many showbiz anecdotes, finishing KSI's lasagna.

3:38James Acaster: What you want to be doing on Sunday brunch is ending up on the bill with people who, you know, have a very strict eating exercise regime. Is he training for his boxing or something? Yeah, so you want someone when they're like, okay, I can try everything, but I can't go nuts. I've got to eat at certain times. And you're like, great, because I love this. I'm having yours. I'm going to have your prawn lasagna, and you have no idea how much I'm the one who's landed on their feet. Good luck winning that boxing match. Yeah. But I'm the champ. Yeah, you're the champ. I'm very excited to talk to Easter, especially because that's one of my favourite bites of all time.

4:13Yes. Easter also co-wrote Flavor, which was an Ottolenghi test kitchen book. We, of course, have had Yotam Ottolenghi on the pod. Yes, and he was so patient with us. He was so patient with us. Will Easter be as patient with us? I think she listens to the pod, so I doubt it.

4:29James Acaster: We'll certainly be as trying. Yes, we're difficult people. Yes, so we will do our best in that regard, and we'll see if we do our head in or not. Yeah. Easter's latest book is called Mezcla. Go and get it, but go and get any of her books or any books that she's been involved in. truly wonderful stuff. But, if she says the secret ingredient, which we have pre-decided upon, she will be removed from the restaurant regardless of how good she is at cooking and that. Yes, and this week the secret ingredient is Easter eggs. Sorry. Easter eggs. So sorry. Easter eggs. Listen, this is like the 800th episode or something.

5:02James Acaster: It's said so many secret ingredients and Easter, your first name, spelt different, but sounds like Easter is an Easter egg. So, we've just gone for that and we don't think you're going to pick it. Yeah. So that's good. I do like an Easter egg. I love an Easter egg. It just tastes different. I love an Easter egg and they've come up before on the podcast and we say about how when we were kids we thought they would just be giant versions of cream eggs and be full of all the stuff. But you know what? As an adult, I'm glad they're not. I like that. It's just that. The perfect thickness of milk chocolate.

5:35James Acaster: I prefer dairy milk in Easter egg form and there's something about it. There's something about it that tastes... Pure nostalgia as well. It tastes different. Yeah. It tastes like that's an Easter egg, man. I could be blindfolded. You could give me a square of dairy milk and then some Easter egg chocolate. Yeah. Loads of different forms of dairy milk in different ways. I would be able to pinpoint that's the Easter egg one. Yeah, because they're different shapes. No, not because of the shape. But that's how you would pinpoint it. It would taste different. It would taste different. I quite like those fancy ones as well.

6:05Like the Hotel Chocolat ones that you need a hammer and chisel to get apart because they're so thick. Yes.

6:10James Acaster: Yeah. and they got like designs on them like they're not just a smooth egg it's like Calpity's not a smooth egg yeah but I mean like the designs on the posh ones are like that's why they're so thick it's like a paint like a self a whole medallion on there yeah and like a coat of arms yeah and then you're like that's when you know that's real that's real royalty royal egg this is the off menu menu of Easter Bellbridge Easter Bellbridge

6:46Welcome, Easter, to the Dream Restaurant. Oh my God. Welcome, Easter Belfish, to the Dream Restaurant.

6:52James Acaster: I've been spending you for some time. I've been waiting for that all my life. Yeah? Yeah. Did it match up? Yeah, I mean, it's more beautiful that I couldn't have imagined. Thank you very much. I'd imagine the bit of your life before this podcast was a thing was a very confusing time for you, waiting for that specifically. Yeah, it really was. I felt like I was blind and now I see yes everything clicked the moment this podcast came on the scene exactly a lot of people felt like that when our podcast came on the scene I think so I think you've changed many lives you've certainly made me laugh a hell of a lot oh yeah yeah this guy makes me laugh all the time so does this guy I'm actually really intrigued I can't wait to see your laugh because I don't know if anyone's ever told you that your laugh sounds really fake does it don't you think so whenever he will laugh it sounds really fake so I'm like I can't wait to see your actual facial expression to see if it's real imagine if at no point I laugh in this episode well that's going to be deeply embarrassing he could be in his own head now yeah yeah he could be thinking about it too much have you never thought that?

7:52that it's fake it sounds fake

7:54James Acaster: you obviously see his facial expressions when he laughs but like my face goes everywhere when I laugh as well all over the place he's part of a trio him and Tom Neenan and Nish Kumar who all went to university together all have big loud laughs and they really just like, their whole entire body and everything, there's so much joy. They're not just laughing and enjoying what has made them laugh. They're also just, you can tell the feeling of laughing makes them happy. And you can see all three of them on their faces are like, this is so lovely. I love it. Does the feeling of laughter not make you happy?

8:29James Acaster: Yeah, but you guys are like, it's like a drug. If you really see the three of you, you're just completely immersed in it. You let yourself go. I've had different laughs throughout my life as well. Do you work on them? No, I think the only time I consciously changed my laugh was I got really into laughing like Lou from Neighbours. Do you remember Lou from Neighbours? Do an impression? Yeah. Oh, the older guy. Yes, yeah, yeah. Harold Bishop's frenemy. Oh, really? Oh my God, Harold Bishop. What a blast from the past. What happened to Harold in the end? I didn't really keep up with it. I mean, it's still going?

9:02No, I think it's finished now because it went to Amazon and starred Misha Barton from the OC for a bit. You're kidding me. No, I'm not at all. She cropped up in Neighbours. What? So Harold Bishop obviously got washed off a rock. Obviously. Back in the day. I didn't know that either. He got washed off a rock.

9:18James Acaster: What do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean? Speaking of being washed off a rock, did you hear about the surfer guy who went surfing off the coast of Sydney and then disappeared and a day later they found him stranded on an abandoned island like miles and miles away. Anyway, sorry. No, that's impressive because that's real life. But for neighbours, that wouldn't cut it. No. But what was really funny is that I'd never heard of this island. And I looked up on Google Maps and people had already, like within hours of the news piece coming out, people had already started leaving reviews saying like, great place for a break if you get washed up at sea.

9:51James Acaster: Wow. Who's doing that? I know. I don't know. That's a very specific type of person. I don't know why. Anyway, he got washed off a rock. Yes. Madge just found his glasses in a little rock pool. It was very sad. I remember that when I was a kid. years later he turns up again he's completely lost his memory was it on that island Governor's Island it might have been on the straight to the island I think he just went a bit round the coast and then he thought his name was Ted and he was in the Salvation Army oh wow I should watch Neighbours we need to catch up on 15 years of Neighbours it's on like every day for anywhere but it has finished now so we know there's a finite amount of episodes we could start binging it I think that's a bad idea actually no no no I think that's a great idea.

10:34James Acaster: It'll be really good. That's a new pod. Of all the shows to watch. Yeah. We could do a pod, the three of us. You're out for great, Benita. We can do a pod, the three of us. And we just watch all of Neighbours from the start. But we have to watch the same episode twice a day because that's how they used to show it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, that sounds really fun. Like a really great use of my time. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. How have you been using your time though lately? How have I been using my time? Well, mainly always just eating or thinking about food, which is, as I imagine, you guys do as well.

11:08I just did a pop-up last night, and so I'm like slightly hungover from having only two margaritas after service, but...

11:14James Acaster: How was that? So you... Pop-ups are like... Was this the first night of the pop-up? It was one... It was a one-night-only thing at the Standard. Have you been to Decimo at the top of the Standard? No, I've been to the bottom of the Standard. You absolutely must go to the top. Okay, you've got to go to the top. You've got to go to the top. So there's a restaurant at the top of the Standard. Beautiful views, such nice decor. Kind of feels like 70s Californian Mexican like cactuses and anyway, really, really nice. The food there is incredible. It's like Mexican, Spanish and the head chef there, Paola, is just, she makes incredible tacos.

11:46Anyway, I did a pop up there last night so I've been cooking there for the last two days. I feel a bit mental actually.

11:51James Acaster: Yeah, lack of sleep and like elbow deep in prawns for the last two days. A lot of prawns. A lot of prawns. We should talk about prawn. We should talk about the prawn lasagna up top. Loved it so much. Best thing I've ever had to eat on Sunday brunch. I know that doesn't sound like a compliment but Honestly, I almost maybe I did. I shed a little tear when I heard that but honestly it is because I know how much you love lasagna. I have heard to hear that you loved it that much was actually like life changing. I think about it a lot. I wolfed it down. Every time there's any kind of lasagnas on menus I look to see if there's prawns in it now and there never is and I get really disappointed.

12:27But that's good. No one's trying to copy you. Not yet anyway. I've seen some like I mean there's obviously you can get like seafood lasagnas and I've seen some people do some crab lasagnas recently which sound really good but no I've also never seen a prawn lasagna but yeah it is I got a lot of flack is flack a word? yeah from the lasagna flack or slack? flack you got flack I got flack from people who are like a lot of slack would be them going like yeah go for it yeah do what you want oh okay flack flack from people saying like who do you think you are cooking a prawn for that long like prawns need to be just like pan fried and I'm like I'm telling you to make it into a ragu and I cook it slowly and people are like are you mental but it does work who's giving you flack there are the people lasagna people the people they say who do you think you are they say who do you think you are who the fuck do you think you are cooking a prawn for that long

13:15James Acaster: the prawn police yeah I suppose that's the thing that they're getting angry about I thought they were going to get angry that you're even putting prawns in a lasagna but it's how long they get upset about that too how long you're cooking it for is what they're furious about no that's I mean people get upset about a lot of things but they really have strong feelings about how long you cook a prawn. Wow. And I'm here to tell you, you can make it into a ragout. Anyone's job, you look at it and you just think, I bet they don't get that much grief from people. Or I bet I can imagine what the complaints are.

13:46James Acaster: Every time you speak to someone about their job, the things that people get angry about are absolutely beyond what you could have imagined or ever predicted. No, it is ridiculous. How dare you cook a prawn for that long? Who do you think you are? Who do you think you are is such a funny thing to say. Yeah, really funny. I actually feel like I've reached peak prawn now. I think I'm actually over them. There's actually no prawns on my menu, which is bonkers because everyone who knows me knows me as like the prawn lady. I hope that's not true. No one's actually ever called me that. But I mean, everyone knows I'm obsessed with prawns.

14:17And there's not, I only just realised there's not one prawn on this menu. Well, I think if last night you were elbow deep in prawns. Yeah, specifically. The last thing you want to talk about is prawns. You don't want prawns on your dream menu at this point, do you? No, absolutely not. absolutely not

14:29James Acaster: what do you think about you're the best person to ask this there's a few people in the podcast I think I've maybe asked this question too but never before I've been so excited about the answer what do you think about prawn cocktail crisps oh the flavour yes specifically how authentic is it as opposed to of course the flavour of course well the flavour okay prawn cocktail crisps I haven't had them in a really really really really long time I think the only ones I've had are just like the pink walkers ones used to think they were delicious. I don't think they taste anything like prawn. They're just sort of like a bit tangy, which is not really what a prawn is.

15:05Well, actually, no. Prawn cocktail, yes. It's supposed to be ketchup. Mayo? Prawns? Yeah, I guess. But it's that that it tastes of. It tastes of ketchup. I guess, yeah. It tastes of... Does it taste of prawn or does it just taste of ketchup? I'm not getting any prawn out of that situation. I think it's just like ketchup with like an eau de, like seafood seasoning. But it's not, like I'm not getting prawn. but I do like them I'm not a massive crisp person so you're a prawn lady I'm a prawn lady but I'm not crisp person you can't be both no I can't you're not allowed to be both actually I'm not a crisp a crisp guy no really you're not a crisp man you're truffle crisps you love them oh I do not like truffle crisps oh really see I like the Torres truffle crisps oh no I can't bear that smell really you in the same camp

15:51James Acaster: no I but my partner is in that camp so like horrendous now I'm you know anytime I do smell truffles or anything like that and we're together I'm like I've got to get her out of here because as soon as she smells that there you go there's hardly any emotion on your face you're right no I'm just enjoying it you got busted just trying to enjoy myself that did not look real yeah you didn't think my truffle anecdote was funny are you telling me I have had that I have been accused of that before for having for having dead eyes when I laugh but I can't really do anything about it. No, but I think hopefully it'll get more animated.

16:28No, no, no. That was it. That's as far as we go.

16:30James Acaster: Do a podcast about being told you've got dead eyes when you laugh? Yeah, that's good. Good idea. We could call it Laugh-a-Boy. Yeah. Laugh-a-Boy? Yeah. What? Laugh-a-Boy. Just ignore it. Laugh-a-Boy. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's a good one.

16:46James Acaster: We will start with Still or Spark and Mortar. Do you have a preference, Easter? I absolutely do have a preference. And actually, I'm going to have to steal someone's idea one of your previous guests one of my favourite episodes great it's only happened on one occasion maybe when someone's stolen an idea oh I'm stealing the idea and enhancing it to my taste is that right rather than the dish itself it's the idea it's the idea it's the execution so Mae Martin a living legend congratulations Mae they wanted I think water from a babbling brook and when I heard that I was like what better way to receive water yeah but I'm an absolutely a sparkling water girl obsessed with sparkling water inject it into my veins.

17:26So I would like sparkling water. That would be a terrible idea, by the way. That would actually be horrendous. Because famously... Sparkling water. Yeah. Famously bubbles going into the veins. Oh, yeah. Instant heart attack. Instant death. Instant stroke. Okay, so maybe not into the veins, but yes, the babbling brook. Yeah. So straight from the babbling brook, very cold, sparkling water, short glass, like this kind of thing. Yeah. Hate tall glasses. Despise tall glasses. Why? I don't actually know why. I knew someone was going to ask me that when I said I hate short glasses. One of you. But I don't have a reason.

17:57Who do you think you are? Who do I think I am? I don't know. I wonder why it is. I think I feel like there's less room for things. Like, get a tall glass and it's like, if it's full of ice, there's just not really barely any liquid in there. Yeah. But is that the only reason? Also, I just feel like I...

18:15James Acaster: Well, you know what people are going to come back with for that. They're going to go, what if you have a short glass and it's full of ice? Yeah. I mean, well, I actually have a note here on my note, say three ice cubes. Oh, okay. Standard size? Medium? Medium size? Like that? Is that medium size? That looks standard size to me. That's standard. Yeah. Oh, all right. Well, standard. Three standard ice cubes. Three standard ice cubes. Cold sparkling water from a bubbling brook and a bit of lime, but not like super limey, just like medium lime. Medium lime, medium ice cubes, medium glass. You love lime.

18:45James Acaster: You love the lime bikes. Oh, I love lime. Before we started recording, all these were talking about was lime bikes. and she was shocked we hadn't been online by the end all three of you the great Benito included who is not wearing a sombrero which you something else something else we put a pin in to come back to is you imagine when you're listening you imagine the great Benito to be wearing a sombrero I imagined him to be a Mexican man wearing a sombrero yes but no but the listeners will never know well they will now they know that he's not a Mexican man with a sombrero but they don't know much more than that they've got one thing to cross off the list yeah this is the longest game of guess who ever yeah okay so the Mexican man in the sombrero flip down the picture of the Mexican guy that's not him we've got a lot more to go I kind of agree with the tall thin glasses no but I find sometimes the short glasses if there's some ice in there if it's like a cocktail or something I drink it too quickly because of the big mouth hole but do you think that you drink a tall drink slower I think it feels like I do because it looks like there's more level in it do you know what I mean this guy no matter how big the drink, two gulps and he's done.

19:52Me too. I'm a gulper. Yeah, I'm a gulper too. Big sips.

19:54James Acaster: It doesn't even make any noise. It's just gone. No facial expressions, no noise, dead eyes. Literally, people say about people drinking like a fish, it's literally like a fish though. Just like, mouth opens and it's all just gone. Yeah. No noise, no nothing. What's the point in taking time over it? I want another one, I want to try something else. I think a medium amount of time is also good in this respect. You're obsessed with medium. I do, I am. I think medium is where it's at not too little not too much I tell you what the glass shots I hate these really trendy glasses you've been to loads of these places I'd imagine they're almost like completely shallow they're like little cat bowls no little cat bowls they are like little cat bowls I know what you mean it's like they've taken a glass like a standard tumbler yeah and they've cut that in half it's a demi tumbler it's a demi tumbler yeah no I don't like those either this I think is slightly too big for my liking I would like it to be sort of that big but anyway semantics you keep on doing visual references but isn't this is a filmed podcast he fucking loves it now he's filming it he puts it on YouTube it's a nightmare I don't know where the cameras are but this is the glass we're referring to one right there oh yeah we got it he's obsessed oh there's one there he's obsessed with it all he talks about is filming it now and you're playing into his hands by doing like it's this much and stuff like that he's loving it he's sitting there going this is why I started the YouTube channel awful pop lobs on bread pop lobs on bread Easter Belfage pop lobs on bread oh my god I've been waiting for that no you haven't I made you jump you did me I was literally staring right out at you and you got me fucking hell excuse me am I you're allowed to swear what is allowed come on you're a fan of the pod you know we let it fly god I'm slightly hung over and um yeah I really almost threw up my heart just then that's the ultimate episode when you you supply someone so much they throw up.

21:48James Acaster: Then I'd be like, Benito, you were right, we should film it. Yeah. She threw her heart up. And that's a clip. That's a clip. Bam, beating heart on the table. Eight million views. Yeah, we did it. Oh my God. Well done. Thank you. Well done, sir. Thank you very much. Number one podcast. I'm also sad that you're not dressed up as a genie, but I should probably go to one of the live shows for that, right? You do dress up, right? No. No? Never? We've got a lamp, we've got a big lamp on the stage for the live shows. I jump out. a lamp sure but I'm not dressing up no for the live shows we wear our own merch oh yes yeah yeah clever that is small because first tour we had our own merch on second tour we got the merch which is pictures of us on the last tour so we're wearing the merch from the last one oh the inception yeah we should keep doing that forever the next show next year it's going to blow people's minds they're not going to know where they are what do you have on the back tour dates I think good point I've never checked really I think it's been tour dates never checked I just put it on My heart is still beating, my God.

22:47James Acaster: Really? That's good, though. Woo, yeah. You should be. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You look very proud. Yeah, I'm really proud of myself. It's been a while since I've got people. Really? Series one, I was getting them every single episode. Yeah. And now it's like... I mean, I knew to expect it, I just didn't know when. Anyway. Poppadons or bread? Yes. I'm going to go... Well, I'm not really a massive poppadon person either. Not a bread gal or a pop... No, I do like bread. I'm going to go with like grilled, really grilled, olive oily, garlicky bread with chicken liver pate. But not like a whipped chicken liver pate, like a Tuscan.

23:24I know you love it, but I think you love the Frenchy, creamy, whippy one. Hello. I just love it. But I don't want that one. I want like a Tuscan style kind of like it's more sort of bitty and textured. Bitty and textured doesn't sound good, to be fair. That was a fair reaction. but do you know what I mean I know what you mean like sagey anchovy heavy I still love that chicken liver crostini but like cat food the bread has to be super grilled cat food it does smell like cat food not smell it

23:56James Acaster: but it just looks like it no but it does can you not talk about my my bread and poppadom starter like this please get ready I speak my mind I speak my mind yeah okay fair enough but I am obsessed with chicken liver yeah in a very very I'm actually liver full stop. I'm actually in a club called the liver lovers. Go on. Self confessed. How many people in the liver lovers? Yeah. For shout out, flick, melek, Holly and myself. Yeah. How did it start? Just a mutual love of liver, really. But did you know each other previously or did your eyes meet across a butcher's counter? Across a big piece of liver.

24:35No, we knew each other previously. We've known each other for a long time. Well, Melek less so, maybe like three years and Flick and Holly longer. Anyway, whatever. We all love liver. Like we bonded over like Turkish like lamb's liver with sort of like crispy fat, you know?

24:51James Acaster: Yeah. That sounds good. And then we did have grand plans to like visit every Turkish restaurant in London to try their lamb's liver. We've only been to one. But we are still... I know it's not good. It's not good, but we are the liver lovers and I do love liver. So I'm going to start with chicken liver crostini. How often is the really admirable attempt to try and move it off the liver lover group there, by the way? That's not going to happen for a long time, just to let you know. How often is it like a WhatsApp group? It is a WhatsApp group. That's really the most action that's happening, just like...

25:24James Acaster: Read us some stuff from the liver lovers, the WhatsApp group. I don't have my phone here. I didn't bring my phone into there. What? Well, I want to know how often the WhatsApp group's being updated. how often is someone dropping in liver relevant content? You're making me feel really bad now because we actually don't talk about liver that much. We basically just plan, like, let's all meet up and go for dinner and eat liver. Who's free on this date? And then it just never happens. Never happens. God, it's a terrible club, isn't it? It's a bad club. Yeah, it's a pretty bad club, I think. I mean, after this podcast, you're going to go on there and go, guess what?

25:58James Acaster: I talked about the liver lovers on a podcast. And the world's going to know about us, guys. I mean, surely you're going to tell them. Oh, God. I would love any listeners to maybe comment with their favourite liver so I know where to go. Oh, yeah, yeah? Yeah? Oh, well, they'll definitely let you know where the best liver is. I don't want to talk about the liver lovers anymore. I feel deeply embarrassed that we haven't actually eaten that much liver together. But we do all love liver. Do you ever talk about the sort of bad reputation that liver has amongst the general population? Yeah, yeah. We know we're, like, cooler than most.

26:28Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't say that. No, but I did. Yeah. I mean, you know, you have to have like a certain je ne sais quoi to love liver, I think. Not every regular guy. Most people don't love it.

26:43James Acaster: Yeah. Yeah. But the liver pate, when it is creamy and smooth, I think is delicious. It's so fucking good. Yeah. Oh, my God. It does smell of cat food, though. But that is not an insult. No, this is not going well. This is not going well. Hold on. Picture the scene. We're in Tuscany. I just made a confession. you went right over it because you're so we've got in your head about the liver but like he just said he wants to eat his cat's cat food wait what sometimes I'm feeding my cat and I'm like it does smell like cat food but it looks human looks like human food we've started giving our cat soup really cat soup cat soup made of I mean to me it just looks like chicken and this I think the one this morning was like chicken and pee you can actually see chicken and pee and there's like a lot of like Do they eat the peas?

27:32Yeah. My dog used to eat around the peas when we gave him leftovers. Right. No. No? Pigs eating the peas.

27:40James Acaster: Do you give him some bread to mop it up with afterwards? Like a gentleman? Yeah. Give him his little spoon? Yeah. Tuck his napkin in? Sweetie. Some cat food you see, or some pet food, you see it advertised. I still don't like cat food. Yes? Yes. Sometimes you see it advertised and it says tested by humans. And you're like, who has got that? What grim humans doing that. It is literally just a bit of meat. Yeah. So it's not that big a deal. But what is the smell though? Because if it is just a bit of meat, why does it smell like that? I think it's the gelatin that has the smell. We're adding vitamins and stuff, right?

28:15Vitamins. Yeah. Always smelly. They are. It's true. Smelly vitamins, smelly gelatin makes a smelly bowl of cat food. Yeah. Have you ever opened a little jar of multivitamins? It stinks like a farm. It does stink. Like a farm.

28:31James Acaster: Yeah, like a farm or hay. I kind of like the smell of vitamin C. Oh, yeah, that's great. It's like limey. That's lovely, but the malty ones, when they all get together, they stink. That is vitaminist. You've got to keep them apart. They absolutely stink when they get together, those vitamins. James is a vitamin segregationist. Yeah. I'll say it. Oh, dear. I think that sounds like a delicious bread course. You're just saying that. No. You don't really believe it. I would obviously change up the chicken I'd have a smooth one for my tastes but I didn't get to tell you where I want it so it has to be from the co-op in Rufina which is the town where I grew up near where I grew up in Italy there's a co-op there no but it's not like the English co-op it's not like the English co-op they have co-ops in Italy well in Tuscany they call it ho-op because they don't pronounce the co it's like a her but it's the best supermarket in the world and they make the best chicken liver, like figatini is what it's called.

29:29And it's unbelievable. So, but in Tuscany, when you get, it's a classic starter, the chicken liver crostini, but they always do it with unsalted bread because like hundreds of years ago, salt used to be expensive. But I'm like, get with the times. Like salt is no longer expensive. You can put salt in your bread now. But so strictly I would need it to be salted bread. Yes. Very grilled, very much like a lot of olive oil.

29:53James Acaster: Yeah. I feel like we should move on from the chicken liver you always want to move on from stuff yeah that doesn't work with us we've literally been talking about cat food and liver for about 40 minutes don't worry you're in good hands we know we're going to move on he'll edit it later you okay fair enough alright we'll move on now will we yeah yeah definitely we've talked about that for fucking ages we've talked about that yeah yeah

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31:55James Acaster: your dream starter well I forgot to ask you for a very special wish at the beginning okay if you may grant me one yeah yeah is I get full really quickly but I love food and it's all I ever think about it's all I ever want to do is eat so I get really excited about having huge meals and I get I have grand plans of doing bang bangs you know like when you eat one meal after another yeah but then I just get full really quickly so please grant me the power to just never get full. Yes. Absolutely. But no, actually, grant me the power to never get full, but then at the end to feel like perfectly satisfied.

32:29Yeah. Because you know what I mean? That's good because you nearly, it's like someone wishing for, you know, immortality. No, I don't want that. That's a curse. Never getting full is a curse. I do not want to be alive forever and I don't want to be not full forever. Yeah, you're right.

32:42James Acaster: You've never been so serious about anything on the podcast. You look to me, that's a curse. That is a curse. That is a curse. if you were immortal it would be it would be I would hate to live forever but it's very funny because immortality that's people often get tripped up on that when they wish for it because they're not they think they're wishing for eternal use yeah yeah but they're not they're wishing for immortality so one day they're going to be 200 with all their fingers falling off yeah yeah it is a curse yeah that's a curse good point Ed really good point yeah I'm like your thing about like you want a massive meal and then you get full really quick that's like me with a bath yes me too you drink the whole bath then I'm like I'm so full of baths I wanted a little sip I can't wait to have a lovely bath when I get home fill the bath really full really hot I get in five seconds oh this is horrible bored I am 100 % exactly the same I love the idea of it and I get in and I'm like just hot and bothered I'm like a bit of a waste of water but anyway yeah so great appetite throughout perfect satisfaction at the end so that's my one wish I may ask you want to live forever no that is a curse that's good okay sorry get my wires crossed my dream starter is many things if that's okay we're going to go for a Mexican feast as a dream starter but like starter things so a platter so yes maybe a platter yeah but it's going to be more than a platter it's going to be many platters okay okay so I actually was recently this earlier this year as a guest judge on MasterChef Australia.

34:19That's MasterChef. It is actually pretty good. It's mad. High stakes. Love it. I've just been to Australia and ended up talking about their MasterChef on stage. You guys are mental. They are mental. It is insane. There's so much going on. They start with like 8 ,000 contestants. It goes on for about a year. There's contestants dying of old age halfway through the series. It's true. It's true. It's a curse. It's a curse. You've wished for unlimited MasterChef. actually the one the the one that i was guest judge on was a series called back to win which was basically people that had already been on who hadn't won who were back so like trying nice so anyway it was the mystery box challenge so i don't know if you know what that is but like i got to pick like 10 of my favorite ingredients and then they 17 of them had to cook dishes based on my favorite ingredients it was a bit of like it's a bit like ready steady cook yeah but i feel like i had so much power it's like here's everything i love all of you go make something for me and it was it was very fucking exciting but anyway long story short there was a guy called jamie i forgot his surname but he made one of the best tostadas i've ever had so the actual tortilla itself he made with like toasted masa um like the nix symbolized corn flour so it was like really roasty toasty corny and then he fried it and then when it came out with the fryer he then like tossed it in more of that like roasty toasty corn so first of all like the actual to Thala was like sensational and then it was like raw Benito like what

35:46James Acaster: raw Benito not Benito I thought you were telling him to raw like a lion raw Benito I'd love to see him raw instead of the MGM line he wouldn't be able to do it it'd be like when Simba's a little cub and he's trying to do it he's never gonna raw he won't ever raw like the fish yes it's like a tuna Yeah. I think it's a tuna. Is it a tuna? Something like that. Anyway. They're smaller than... Smaller. Yeah. But equally delicious. I've caught one before. Oh, have you now? You caught a bonito? Yeah, I caught a bonito. You caught a great bonito. How have we never talked about this on the podcast? Caught a bonito.

36:24No problem. It's absolutely crazy. Go on, tell us more. Cooked it up later. It was fucking disgusting. Ah, no. They're very bony. They've got very, like, very thin, thin bones. They do, yeah, yeah. So you didn't remove those? No, no, no.

36:36James Acaster: So it was him. he's got thin bones you caught him yeah thin bones and no sombrero to be seen he's disgusted and he said to do you want to produce a podcast because I don't want to finish you I don't want to eat you oh thin bones sorry you've already said this is a many platters of Mexican food and we're on the starter and now I can see why you're trying to move us on from the cat food yeah because this is a long menu you knew what you had coming out the bed we didn't raw bonito yes raw bonito but really quickly like not poached what's it called oh my god what is wrong with me you know when you just like put some lime on it are you even a chef I don't think cured not cured like ceviche cured yeah but like really quickly so it was still like quite raw and then there was like a pineapple and scotch bonnet and pickled onion hibiscus situation going on and then like grilled pieces of okra oh my god it was insane honestly I've had my fair share of tacos and tostadas I've been to Mexico I have family in Mexico like this was honestly life changing wow amazing so that's gonna be on the table Jamie Fleming Jamie Fleming how did you do that he's very good at googling stuff with little weak boned hands tapping away at the keys he snaps a finger every time he googles something yeah it's a curse Jamie Fleming anyway shout out Jamie yeah best to start that I've ever had so that's gonna be on the table we're also gonna have like a platter of al pastor tacos so a pile of beautiful soft tortillas a whole spit of pork grilled pineapple all the salsas definitely a jamonero salsa a salsa matcha some just like chopped onions and lime that's going to be on there as well is that from anywhere specific?

38:23well I don't remember the name but there's a place in the outskirts of Mexico City it's kind of just looks like a car park and you kind of you can just drive off and people just eat on like the hoods of their cars can't remember what it's called though I wonder if the great Benito can find it you can find it see that sounds Google car park taco Mexico City that sounds so good Al Pastor Mexico City car park when you hear about somewhere like that in Mexico like in a car park everyone's eating off the hood of their cars and it's you think that sounds so great it's sort of a romance to it imagine if that was in England oh that would be horrendous I wouldn't go near that place absolutely not must be joking garage pork yeah yeah we wouldn't we wouldn't pull it off yeah eating a sausage on a Ford Focus awful that bit he's found it absolute genius he's found it that is it another finger shattered so good

39:13James Acaster: straight to A &E after this oh my god so yeah tacos al pastor from there what else are we going to have oh the pork tamales from actually an Ecuadorian restaurant in London if you haven't been you must go it's called El Inca Plebeo it's on Essex Road okay really good and they do pork tamales is like wrapped in corn husks and with just like the most soft succulent pork stuffed inside. And it's just unbelievable. And it comes with like a green coriander salsa with lime. And it's just sensational. So that's going to be there too. And then also like a really good guacamole, like the best one you've ever had, with like warm plantain, sweet potato and cassava crisps.

39:55Oh my God, yeah. And that's it. No, no, no. And the perfect margarita. Mezcalita, actually. I'm quite specific about my margaritas. Short glass again. Yeah. On the rocks. Hate margaritas in the, what are they called? Big cup. Big cup. I know what you mean. You know, like when they bring it to you and it's not on the rocks and it's in a, like a margarita glass. Yeah. You know?

40:18James Acaster: Yeah, yeah. So short glass on the rocks, mezcal, like a bit smoky. I really don't like it too sweet. So I actually prefer it with a bit of honey rather than agave, but like hardly any. And absolutely no Cointreau or triple sec. I hate Cointreau and triple sec. God, I'm saying a lot of hate. Anyway, and a bit of spice. Yeah. So that's my starter. I know it's a lot, but I've got the power. No, I respect it. I've got the power to not be full. Well, it's good. It's very specific. It all sounds delicious. Are you having one of each of them and then you're sharing all this with a bunch of other people?

40:50Yeah, I think you have to share this kind of food. I don't want to be sitting by myself in a car park. Are the liver lovers there? The liver, yeah. I do love the liver lovers. They're there. But no liver yet in the starter. We had it for the bread, but nothing knocking around in there. No liver here. No, I don't need liver here. Oh, I forgot. I also want a really good ceviche on the table. Liver ceviche? Nope. Definitely not. Definitely not a liver ceviche. That would be horrible. Even for a liver lover like me. What ceviche do you want? I do like just like a bream ceviche, that kind of thing.

41:26Or any sort of like whatever is like the local fresh seasonal fish of the moment from the sea. right there. So wherever I am, a freshly caught fish. I like it like when it's just like tossed. What am I talking about? What is it called when you put it in the lime juice? It's not cure. What is wrong with me?

41:44James Acaster: I actually know what it's called. I'm questioning everything. Yeah, I run out of ideas. Maybe it's just cured. But I thought cured with the salt, really. Marinated. There we go. We could just say marinated in lime juice, but really quickly, like not too long. Onions, tomatoes, coriander, lime, like chilies. I want it pretty simple, like a simple, really fresh, limey, salty ceviche with all of those crisps, the cassava, sweet potato and plantain and the guacamole. And it's like, it's hot, but it's not too hot. Probably on a beach. The water's lapping in, bare feet, water's lapping in, but the sand is not bothering you.

42:23Like the sand is there, but it's not getting in your crack or like pissing you off. That would be an issue. even when you to be honest even when you said bare feet and the water's lapping I thought that's going to get on my nerves do you think would that get on your nerves personally yeah yeah let me focus on dinner have you ever done that like table on the beach not so close that it's like waves but like just like a little every now and then it's a yeah but even just being on the beach on a table I'd be like no no I do not like that and it's got to be under were the legs like

42:51James Acaster: sinking to the sand not I mean it has to be like a bit further away from have you never eaten on the beach? Yeah, I have eaten on the beach. You don't sink. I mean, you could. You definitely could. Probably eating an ice cream on the beach. I think once in your lifetime, James, you should eat at a table on the beach with the water laughing around your bare feet. It sounds great, but you're talking about it like it's a common experience. Well, it's not. No, it's definitely not a common experience. But can I ask for one more wish? Yes. Yes. So, we're on the beach. It's really hot, but it's not too hot it's like the perfect level of heat the water's lapping but it's not annoying the sand is there but you can't it's not it's not annoying yeah and also your ass isn't sticking to the plastic chairs so it's just all is that the wish that your ass doesn't stick because the reality is when you do eat on the beach all those things like sand is getting in your toes and your cracks your ass is sticking to the plastic it's too hot and the water's probably pissing you off do you think that's the first time anyone's ever asked a genie for the wish of i wish my ass didn't stick to plastic chairs yeah surely probably surely most genies aren't getting that one oh my god I only get one more wish I just realised maybe yeah is that that's how it works right three wishes well maybe your other wish should be that no one gets washed off a rock during this meal because you're really or if they do get washed off a rock they will find themselves on a deserted island and be rescued yeah yeah because I think you're skating a bit close to the you could also because it's your dream meal not be sat on a plastic chair That is so smart.

44:27I didn't think about that loophole. That is really smart. You're clever. Yeah, no, I'm a clever guy. Yeah. Now, what is the most comfortable chair to sit on that's not sticky? See, this is the problem with sitting on the beach, isn't it? If it's warm, most chairs, there's going to be some stickage. But you're right that I don't. I could just ask for a normal plastic chair. Maybe just a nice wooden chair. Wooden chair. No slats. Wooden chair, no slats. A little cushion on it? No, not on the beach. It'll get wet and sandy. No, it won't because of my wish. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe a wooden chair with a cushion.

45:03my dream main course can I have a pasta course please thank you it is my dream meal so my favourite pasta in the world is a pasta called Pinna La Cornese so it's made in the village above where I used to live as a kid and they've been making this pasta recipe for like 50 years I think it's a secret recipe and people from all around the area always come for lunch and dinner there it's like a site of pilgrimage it's honestly the most delicious pasta sauce in the world it's kind of like creamy tomatoey peppery porky porcini-y and like it's all of those things but it's also like so much more i don't know i can't it's like it's a secret recipe that people are obsessed with like people who live around there will literally go there for dinner like twice a week for like 50 years really so they'll just like I have it all the time.

45:53It's so good. Everyone always starts their meal with, well, they'll get like crostini or like antipasti first. Then they'll get pinnale conese because you always have a pasta course. And then you go on to, and then you'll like either have a second course or a pizza. Like Italians are mental. I don't know how they eat that much and like still look so good. It's Olivio. Seen the adverts? They eat loads of Olivio and that's why they... What, olive oil? No, no, no. The spread, the butter replacement spread. That's not good. Have they got olive oil in it? Italians don't eat butter replacement spread.

46:20They do, that's why. Have you seen the advert? That is not the secret to their longevity. I'm telling you that margarine. They're not allowed to lie on adverts. Oh, is that so? They eat loads of Olivia and that's why they look so good. They eat back to replacement spread. They look so good. Well, there you go. That's the secret. Yeah. Maybe we should all start plastering that on our skin if we want to live forever.

46:41James Acaster: Although that is a curse. Yeah, that is a curse. That's a curse. You turn into a puppet. Yeah. Anyway, so I want that pasta. Yeah, that sounds great. That sounds so good. And there's like lumps of meat in it. It's like tiny. It's not like a ragout with like mincey pieces. It's like the tiniest like speckles of pork. And like the sauce is like luscious and velvety. And it just like coats the penne in the most. It's insane. Like it's the best pasta I've ever had. I've had it. I've been having it all my life, like since I was two. And it's always the same, which means it's always perfect. And it's just, it's life changing.

47:16James Acaster: How often do you get to have it now? These, I had it a couple of months ago on my birthday, which was very nice. Happy birthday. Thank you. It was April, but I appreciate that. And then before that, oh no, actually I've had it three years in a row for the last three years. But then before that, I hadn't been back for a few years. So like once every few years I have it. So it's even better now because you get into, it's spaced out. You're not having it all the time. Yeah. You know, it's so good. It's a tiny little village. And it's so good that as you enter the village, there's a big sign that says, Paese Natale delle Pinne alla Cornese, which means like birthplace of Pinne alla Cornese.

47:50Like it has a, anyway. So at least you know they're never going to change the menu. Yeah, no, they never will. Because they can't change the sign. And they'll never tell anyone the secret. Have you ever tried to recreate it at home? I have, but like versions of it. I've never like tried to like get it exactly right because that's pointless. It's perfect and I'm never going to be able to. But like it has inspired various recipes I've done.

48:11James Acaster: So your actual main course then? Oh, this was honestly one of the hardest. This whole exercise has been one of the hardest things, like Sophie's choice. Well, you're nailing it so far. Yeah. It all sounds delicious. And also what you've done is not really, you've just sort of said everything. Yeah, but I actually, yes, but also I have gone in one direction for my mains, but then I would like to talk about other options. Sure, sure, sure. Okay, fine. Right. So we're going to stick in Tuscany for the mains. Lovely. And I'm just going to, I think I'm going to have like a rabbit porchetta. Have you ever had one of those?

48:41No, never. didn't even know that was i mean obviously i knew it was possible because you can put two things together but that just sounds absolutely incredible it is i mean it's not a rabbit and a porchetta put together so like porchetta is obviously like rolled pork but you can also even though that word is used to describe pork you can also use it to the process it's a rabbit roll so it's basically like a whole deboned rabbit and they usually like stuff it with like sage sometimes with chicken liver loads of garlic anchovies pepper lemon or olive oil that kind of thing and then roll it up kind of like a porchetta and then like slow roast it and just like oh my god and it's like crispy and crackly around the edge and just like super moist and i mean i love a porchetta it's one of my favorite things in the world but i feel like a rabbit porchetta is just like just slightly how well does a rabbit roll i was i was struggling to imagine because like with a big bit of pork like you can have a big square bit right but if you're deboning a whole rabbit, does it look like a sort of rabbit rug?

49:43Okay, I'm going to be honest and say I've never actually done it myself. I have seen it get... So, imagine... People aren't going to want to imagine this. People don't want to imagine...

49:50James Acaster: People can skip this bit if they don't want to hear it. Trigger warning. Skip this bit if you don't want to hear about raw rabbit carpets. You've said it now. I thought that was too descriptive for trigger warning. Yeah. I don't think it can get much worse than that, really. Yeah. if you are triggered by that stuff too late it's too late probably should be listening to this podcast because you never know what you're going to hear yeah exactly I'm now just imagining I'm just imagining now Benito and a rabbit in a roar off oh that would be cute the rabbits don't roar what neither does Benito yeah things still be Benito in a roar off so imagine a deboned rabbit okay let's say he's lying that way with his sort of head and his feet that way, then you kind of want to...

50:40You would roll him not like this, but like that. Does that make sense? No. So kind of it would... It wouldn't be really long. It would be shorter. It would only end up being... So like if you deep-boned a rabbit, it would probably be like that long if it was like a decent-sized rabbit. But then you would kind of roll it the other way. From the bum to the head. Yeah. So then it would only end up being about that long. Yes, got you. It wouldn't be like... You could do it that way. But you want the layers in there rather than... Exactly. You want... the rabbit roll as you said yes there's actually did you guys watch the what's it the Stanley Tucci Italy show that just came out in one of the episodes he goes to like the home of where like colonnato where they make lardo did you watch that episode no anyway this he visits this lady who teaches him how to make this famous dish from that colonnato region and it's rabbit a deboned rabbit layered with loads of lardo which they just like get out of this beautiful stone marble, not stone, salt, salt marble, you know, where they cure it.

51:45So deboned rabbit, layers of lardo, and then just rolled up, and apparently the lardo just melts into the rabbit and just makes it the most moist, crackly, delicious thing. So maybe I'll put some lardo in there. Yeah, stick a bit of lardo in there, for God's sake. Why not? For God's sake. So a rabbit porchetta, a really good salsa verde. A really good aioli, which is not something you would usually have with a rabbit porchetta in Tuscany, but I make the rules here. So I'm going to have, I'm also going to have a peppercorn sauce with it because again, I make the rules. I like sauces, love peppercorn sauce more than life itself.

52:24I don't like them too creamy. I actually make them with like egg yolks and ghee, which sounds a bit gross, but without cream. And it's like fucking good. It's like a kind of like a, I actually, it's kind of like a high protein version. not that I'm trying to do high protein finally someone's made a high protein peppercorn sauce not that I'm trying to achieve that finally a sauce that will let me keep my gains pour that all over a steak peppercorn sauce for bros but it's actually a really good recipe and it's super easy like you just put like some melted ghee a couple of egg yolks lots of different peppercorns because I like you know mixed peppercorns a bit of mustard salt I could put like a bit of black garlic in there as well a bit of curry powder and then just use an immersion blender and like within seconds you have this beautiful like emulsified delicious sauce that doesn't have double cream in it

53:23James Acaster: Dream Sides Dream Sides so Tuscan roast potatoes like I really don't like English style roast potatoes okay okay here we go you better turn off your mentions for about a week I know This will be the clip we put out because it'll get a lot of engagement. This is where people will be asking me who the hell do you think you are? Yeah. More so than the prawns. You're getting that a lot. There's one clip we have that still gets loads of engagement and it's Ellie Taylor saying that she doesn't go to Italian restaurants because she can do it better at home. And it is constant comment. That is sacrilegious.

53:57I don't know that. Does she really think that? Yeah, I think so. Is she being genuine? But there's so many Italian people in the comments now. they are absolutely I mean fair enough they're going just because something says it's an Italian restaurant it doesn't mean it's properly Italian great true one person said the amount of people who haven't had proper Italian food is genuinely scary genuinely scary see sometimes

54:19James Acaster: it's worth reading the comments they're funny do you ever you don't have Instagram do you do you ever read the comments well now now we're on YouTube I can see the comments really funny so someone straight away was just saying like just complaining to Benito about the quality of the picture. Yeah. And can you please fix this, please? Really? And they're very disappointed. Disappointed? Don't tell me they use that word. I thought it was very funny. They were like, I feel like I have to raise this. Yeah. I mean, I know people say this all the time, but honestly, people have so much time on their hands that they can just like spend time commenting, telling you that they're disappointed in the quality.

54:57But you should be doing a better job, though. You should be doing a better job. He's doing a lot of things, though. No, man, it's good quality. All I can assume we have blurry faces because it is crisp quality. So talk us through why you don't like English, our beautiful English roast potatoes. That we eat in our car park across the world. Garage potatoes. Please tell me why you hated Her Majesty the Queen. Yes, may she laugh. She was only okay. Fair enough. English style roast potatoes, I just don't get what all the fuss is about. There's so much like, yeah, it's crispy on the outside sometimes.

55:28Usually they're just a bit flaccid, like not that crispy. so much fat you have to like almost like scold yourself like but like get a vat of like burning fat and make sure it's like and then like yeah it's kind of crispy it's not that flavorsome and then there's just like so much fluff inside now if you think about a tuscan style roast potato do you know what i mean when i say like a like they're like smaller skin on like squares i wouldn't say waxy but like really garlicky really rosemary super salty and just like golden brown olive oily like there's so much smaller so there's so much more surface area to get you know roasty toasty crispy caramelized and there's so much garlic and rosemary in there and like a bit of lemon on top it does sound good English style roast potatoes are just like whatever I will never I will never slag off the English roast potato I think it's a wonderful thing I will say sometimes people take it too far did go somewhere the other day for lunch it was a very lovely lunch they brought the roast potatoes and if you chucked one of those roast potatoes at the window you would have been done for criminal damage because it was like you couldn't get into it that's the thing most of the time they're either like kind of sort of flaccid and the crispy bit has gone a bit like not soggy but just like or they're like so hard that you can't even cut into them

56:46James Acaster: we're all chasing that memory of the best one we had I'm chasing the memory of the best Italian style roast potato sure but we just make them at home yeah no but that's the thing but that's the thing you can just make them at home they're so easy you don't need to parboil peel them parboil them fluff them like burn your arms with scalding fat listen this is why we won the war you know we just keep our heads down we don't need to bring that up not an episode goes by it doesn't bring the war not the bloody war again sorry no I know it is it is a lot it's a lot of faff but I like the pouring them into the hot fat and they're sizzling everywhere yeah fair enough Is it a case of if you're in a kitchen quite a lot working, you don't necessarily want when you're at home making roast potatoes to...

57:33100%. I cook so much that when there's a shortcut or when there's a quicker way of doing something, I'm 100 % going to take it. I love a food processor. I don't want to peel things. I don't want to pre-boil. I hardly ever parboil. Parboiling is so boring. Like, come on. Shortcuts, if it still tastes great, 100 % for them.

57:54James Acaster: Yeah. and you just literally just chop them up I mean wash them a little bit that's it that's all you need to do skin on chop them up loads of olive oil really hot oven Bob's your uncle or Roberto is your uncle yeah respect respect to Roberto so those potatoes I know that's not the last of your sides because I know you've got a few no I want a really good tomato salad just quite simple just really like the best tomato you've ever had or I've ever had you don't want the best one we've ever had you don't trust us the best one we've ever had would be rubbish no no no I do try I bet you guys know a good tomato I know a good tomato I would say I very rarely had a good tomato so you're probably right to go with the best one you've had the best one we've ever had combine the average combine the average even if you combine those a combined average best tomato salad like a roasted and raw artichoke salad really like lemony with some like pecorino and herbs and then some sautéed, garlicky, what do you call it in English?

58:59That cimadirapa, you know, that green, it's like slightly bitter. You get it in Italian. Can you look up what's that called? What's that called? What's that called? Can you look up what's that called in English? It's like greens. I don't think it's just greens. There's some things that are just greens, right? You definitely would have had it at an Italian restaurant. Yeah. Well, some sort of like sautéed, garlicky, olive oily, lemony green. Yes, bitter. slightly bitter not too bitter but yeah it is charred is it like charred it's kind of giving charred but a bit more bitter and not not as like watery okay it's giving charred write that one down kind of it's more giving like not chicory but like the chicory leaves do you know what I mean right no you guys don't look like you know what I mean

59:41James Acaster: I know chicory broccoli rabe that's what you call it oh great yeah yeah it's one of Andy Bernard's friends from the office that's it for my dream main but I have some honourable munchens if I may sure let's do them like a whole dim sum feast nice just all of it but specifically prawn chung fun and stir fried turnip cakes oh yeah I fucking love turnip cakes I fucking love turnip cakes have you had the ones from Tao Tao Zhu where they're like in little bits and like stir fried with bits of is it either Troy Sum or Morning Glory I can't remember I can't go in there anymore because James dropped me in it I did it dropped you in the lot I absolutely did it in the early days of this podcast I shouted out Tao Tao Jiu for their wasabi king prawns right up your street and then I gave them such a big shout out and then I went in again and I had them and I was like they've changed the sauce they've changed the wasabi sauce it's not as good and I had it a couple of times I was like that's a permanent change this is bad I've told everyone to come in so then and I never would do this now but it was the early days of the pod so I was like it came up again and I was like they've changed it it's not as good anymore you said that on the pod yeah I said it on the pod you're waiting for this then I went and then what happened then I went in there again and the waiter came over and I ordered them I was like yeah still not great what you said that to him no I was thinking that to myself oh okay then the waiter came over and went how'd I get prawns he gave you another one he said how do you like them oh are they nice and I was like uh oh so I thought I just need to be you think they spat in it no no I don't think how does you mean it's spitting in food no no no But I think he'd heard the pod.

1:01:21James Acaster: So I was like, uh, I went to answer. I think I probably even did say to him, well, it's not as a wasabi as it used to be. But he said, and he showed me his phone and it was the episode. And he went, put it on the screen. He went, Gamble said that there's not enough wasabi in it anymore. Gamble said that we've changed the recipe. Unbelievable. And I went, yes, he did. That is absolutely gold. I'm sorry that Gamble said that. I've not been in there since. That's hilarious. Yeah. Well done, James. and now I want these turnip cakes but I can't go in because Gamble said I'd change the rest of them but now that I think about it there is somewhere else that you can go for really good stir-fried turnip cakes thank you have you been to Phoenix Palace in Baker Street I can't go in there anymore what?

1:02:02what happened there? no I've not been you must you absolutely must and their stir-fried turnip cakes are sensation so that's one of my honourable mentions but also my like a really good Cantonese roast duck with morning glory window duck yeah Yeah, window duck. But I don't really like the idea of it being in the window. I love the idea of it being in the window. Really? Are you telling me I'm eating the duck from the window? I feel starstruck.

1:02:30James Acaster: Yeah. That's like getting the clothes for the mannequin. There we go. Look at all that expression. Yeah, I know. That's the first time I've found anything funny. There we go. And then my final honourable muncheon. Oh, I've got two more. Lasagna, the best lasagna ever. our combined average of a best lasagna ever well my best lasagna ever is the one you made oh that's really oh my god so what am I no but I don't I actually don't want it to be a prawn lasagna so yeah because what if my if yours is a prawn lasagna and mine's got pork and beef in it that means if we combine it all that's gonna be pork beef and prawn pork beef and prawn lasagna why would that not be delicious we're just thinking about it now okay so pork beef and prawn lasagna loads of layers yeah not too sloppy but not too dry crispy on the edges mmhmm mmhmm that's it I love lasagna I love lasagna lasagna actually maybe would just be my every course but I haven't picked it for any of my courses but it is right up there on the third honourable bunch what do you think about Garfield I don't really I know he loves the lasagna I know he hates Mondays that's pretty much the whole character that's pretty I know he's lazy yeah he's lazy yeah that's all I know what do you think about Garfield I love him I think you identify me, you and Garfield should be in a lasagna lovers whatsapp group you probably would actually eat loads of lasagna with him unlike me he probably wouldn't post very often on the whatsapp group because he's lazy yeah true especially not on Monday not on Monday it's absolutely silent yeah Garfield everything alright buddy thumbs down in everything yeah not even red buddy you gotta stop this thumbs down this is a lasagna lovers group we're trying to keep things positive I want to be part of that group yeah well there you go three of us on there I'd love lasagna I want to be on there thank you who doesn't love lasagna that's the four of us only psychopaths I think globally if you well maybe not globally I was going to Europe wide if you said what's the best food I reckon lasagna would win do you think could do have you guys ever done a poll Benito shaking his head but he doesn't know Benito you must have the numbers because you've asked so many people what your favourite food is but no one would pick it as as like officially as their dream thing on this podcast, I don't think.

1:04:47Not many people have, but as a go-to, what's your favourite food? What do you want to eat tonight? I reckon the majority of people would say lasagna.

1:04:56James Acaster: I reckon the food that the least amount of people turn down would be lasagna, number one. No one says no to it. Yeah. No, apart from what we don't eat, pasta. Yes. Delicious spring gatherings start at Whole Foods Market. Shop the Spring and Bloom sales event with yellow sales signs throughout the store. And serve your loved one's Whole Foods Market seafood. Always responsibly farmed or sustainable while caught. Explore vibrant seasonal flavors like their trending mango yuzu chantilly cake. Great for brunch or an after dinner treat. Speaking of brunch, check out their deviled eggs, cold pressed juices and more.

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1:06:16James Acaster: Dream drink. So I did have my mezcalita. Yes. So that is... That's locked in. Yeah, that's locked in for the starter. And then for this main situation, I'm going to go for a chilled red, which I feel like is just a bit of an obvious thing these days. It's very Real Housewives of Clapton. Yeah. Yeah. But it's good. But it's so good. So good. So like a light chilled red is what I would like. A specific red? Yes, actually. Seeing as you're asking. I like it when James sounds like an actual waiter. It just always tickles me. A specific red? Yeah. There's a producer called Mataburo, which is on the French border with Spain.

1:06:58I think it's in France, but it's like basically in Spain. I should probably get this right. and they have a wine called Idouane I-D-O-I-N-E and it is absolutely sensational like the first time I drank it the first time I tried it I was with a bunch of friends we were all just like gobsmacked at how delicious it was so I want that is it natural? it is natural but not like I sensed the way you asked that no I like you know I went through that phase no no I'm also not really a massive fan of like super funky natural wines.

1:07:33James Acaster: Yeah, yeah. I like them. Do you? Yeah. It can go too far. I'm not a wine connoisseur in general. So for me, whenever I'm having wine, it's just like rare that I'm having a glass of wine. So whatever it is, I'm like, it's a novelty. So if I'm having a natural wine, it's as exciting as if I'm having a. Yeah. No, there's really nice natural wines, but you're right, there's some that are just like super, super funky and there's bits in it. No, I don't want if it's super funky and super sour and like vinegary. Like I'm just not that adventurous. A bit boring. But this one is like highly coiffable. I didn't want to say that, but it is.

1:08:08James Acaster: I was like trying to think of another word. What's another word? It's the only one. It's the only one. So good. So yeah, that's, and that's going to go really well with the rabbit porchetta with the aioli and the salsa vidi d 'air and the popcorn sauce and the tomatoes and the potato. Oh my God. Do you find that because you're a chef when you're putting this like a, even though it's a hypothetical menu together that you are thinking like okay if I'm serving this what goes with that what goes with that I need a bit of this I need something like that are you thinking a bit differently to how other guests might think about it I guess so I do want everything to be perfectly balanced and when I say perfectly balanced for me I need it to be like super salty and super sour so like I want loads of lemon and loads of salt on the table and I want loads of sauces I want like something herby and I want maybe something a bit garlicky, something creamy.

1:09:00So yeah, I guess I do think about that, things making sense together.

1:09:05James Acaster: Yeah. Well, I mean, when you were describing your main course, I was like, this seems to be a proper meal that you could get. Well, isn't that the point? Some people don't take that as the point. That is not what everyone does. No? But it was when you were describing it, I was like, oh yeah, I could put you. No, but I would very gladly have that whole situation as my main, but with also a Cantonese roast up and a prawn chung fun and stir-fried turnic cake. I'm like, I mean, ideally, can I have that? Can that all be part... Does it have to be an honourable muncie? No, I think you've already called them out as honourable muncies.

1:09:35And you've already got the Mexican platter upon platter for your starter. I think it's a... But why... Shouldn't that be allowed... We've just complimented you saying it was very well balanced and you're trying to chuck a roast duck on top of it. Why would you not want to... Oh, God.

1:09:49James Acaster: I do think that there is an argument that in the future we should do like some one-off little episodes that are like banquet specials where we just let someone have a proper medieval feast of whatever they want on the whole table and we'll just see how long that episode runs for Dream Dessert I don't like this what? you're just eating like butt tons of food and then we get to the dessert and you're not full remember as well if you want to savoury this don't you worry Of course I'm having a dessert You're yanking your chain Jesus Christ I felt it You got me back For shouting pop-ups Yeah That's it I've got a bigger fright Than you did No I'm going to have both actually So Okay For dessert Is it okay to pick One of my own recipes Yeah Okay Just so you know I think you're the first person To do it How does that make you feel No loads of people Have created their own thing Oh but not First chef to do it I think But yeah I think you'd absolutely Choose one of your own recipes You should be backing Your own stuff And being like This is the most delicious thing Well I did make Okay Okay, so actually, it started with an ice cream that I used to love as a kid.

1:10:58Did you ever have a winner taco? A winner taco? Oh my God. Okay, so in Italy, they're like, it's an ice cream in a shell. In like a hard shell. Like a wafer shell. And then it's like filled with ice cream, then dipped in, it has like caramelly swirls and then dipped in chocolate and nuts. I know the one you're talking about. So it's like, you know, like a hard shell taco. But like a wafer. and I used to fucking love those as a child and then they just disappeared they like discontinued I was like what the fuck so then a few years ago I was like well I could just make my own and also it's called a choco taco so why not what it should be made out of an actual taco like a corn tortilla so I took like a soft corn tortilla and then like brushed it in like melted butter and maple syrup and then like baked it and it kind of ended up tasting like a giant crunchy nut cornflake.

1:11:51James Acaster: So to begin with that, when you're creating this, are you just doing the shells on the right? Are you like, first things first, I've got to sort the shell? Yes. And then you're doing that and how many until you got it right? You can't start with the ice cream in that situation. No, no, no, you can't start. It was, this was a process, let me tell you. You cannot start with the ice cream. No, it took me so many times to like, so what I ended up doing is like, so the tortilla at first when you put it in, And it's like bathed in butter and maple syrup. So it's quite like floppy and wet. So I hung it over like the racks of an oven.

1:12:21James Acaster: Yeah. Can you picture it? Yes. And then it like baked and caramelized like that in that shape. So it was like a hard shell taco, but made out of corn. Whereas, you know, originally they're just like, not wafer, but like just wheat biscuit. Anyway, so it's like giant country nut cornflake. And then like brushed with loads of chocolate inside. Because I fucking love chocolate. Milk chocolate? Dark chocolate? somewhere in between great like maybe like 55-60 % something like that Brexit what? nearly Brexit Brexit Brexit chocolate I know that was 48-52 but it was specifically not Brexit chocolate it felt so close it reminded me of Brexit sorry that's okay so then there's the chocolate there's the Brexit not Brexit chocolate yeah yeah and then the ice cream I did inside was like a kind of a coffee miso maple cinnamon ice cream with like miso maple caramel swirls so that goes inside great and then you dip it like you dip the edge in chocolate again yeah same chocolate same chocolate brexit chocolate yeah uh no i don't want to be quite with that not just 55 to 60 is that nerve-wracking when you dip it oh it's quite fun to kind of do it like so you've got the bowl of melted chocolate and you kind of have to go like that like a pirate ship exactly that's a perfect description james wow that was really good thank you you're good with words and stuff you really are do you refreeze it so the ice cream doesn't drop out yes yes i forgot that step smart yeah so fill it so i put the ice cream in a like made the ice cream then you don't want to set it until it's like super hard but like put it into a piping bag and like when it's at the perfect level of frozen that you can kind of pipe it then you pipe it into the shell the chocolate and it's like a thick layer of chocolate inside not just like a thin brush then you pipe the ice cream in and then you're right then you have to like freeze it again so the ice cream sets and then you dip it in the chocolate and then in loads of caramelized nuts so annoyed we can't eat this yeah that sounds absolutely amazing yeah yeah how the hell did you find that it looks absolutely the incredible actually if you go to the right you can see the dip there's like a dip the pirate ship dip oh it's going to be a little video of the dip oh yeah look at this it's great we're just scrolling through oh yeah piping in the ice cream piping oh yeah and it had nuts in the ice cream as well and caramel you know when you know when you know instinctively that you look at something you go if I tried that it would be a fucking disaster it would be such a mess but you really can only do a few at a time because it is a it is a nightmare to make and I did put it on a menu somewhere that I did a residency for and it didn't turn out like it's something that you need to do on a small scale like it just anyway but it's so good yeah and I want that not made by me though I want someone else to make it who do you want to make it?

1:15:20I mean obviously the genie can make it but you can have any I think I'd like the genie to make it

1:15:24James Acaster: I reckon that's the kind of thing that first try I'd nail it and I'd never do it well again I'd be so focused on the first go that somehow it'd be and there'd be luck involved as well yeah and then I'd never be able to do it again I mean I haven't really done it since it's a pain in the arse so that's why I'd want you the genie to make it pleasure thank you I will be eating them as I go so it's going to take a while for you to get one they're just so crunchy and you know when you have a Cornetto and like the best bit at the end is like the big chunk of chocolate that has a bit of ice cream on top you've got that all the way through because like the chocolate it's like the layer of chocolate inside is thick They've started selling those on their own, haven't they?

1:16:03James Acaster: The bottoms of the Cornetto. Shut up. I saw it somewhere in a bag. In your dreams? It's typical. But I was like, weirdly, I didn't want it. No, no, no, because you want, like, it's the reward for having finished. This is this new generation. Yeah, I don't know. They don't want to do any work. They just want to get straight to the tip. Yeah, they just want to get straight to the tip. On holiday last week, my partner got a Calippo. Put it in which? Orange. put it, well, fair enough. No, keep going. Put it in what she thought was the freezer in the Airbnb. It wasn't, it was the fridge. Then she came back to it and was like, oh, it's all melted now.

1:16:43James Acaster: And I was like, that's the best bit is at the end of the caliper when it's all juice. And she's like, I don't want to juice this. Do you want it? And I was like, actually I don't. And I really learned something about myself. Wow, that is one of the worst stories you've ever told. What? That's a good story. If you tell that story, it's got to end with you drinking it. that's a good story so what you just put it back in the fridge and left it we actually located the freezer and put it in there but then oh here's a story here's the end of the story okay when we left the Airbnb we realised we still hadn't had it it was in the freezer so no one had the caliper or whoever was in the Airbnb next time imagine had it now that's the good story imagining who ate your caliper like it could have been anyone yeah they would have found it in there I'd imagine the owner of the Airbnb probably did a quick scan oh yeah just a quick little Johnny if you're listening hope you enjoyed it brother Johnny?

1:17:33James Acaster: yeah Johnny his name Johnny I hope you enjoyed the clip and just like I didn't have the heart to write this on the feedback but you text way too frequently and we could have done with hearing less of you oh god I really hope he was listening yeah learn a thing or two about boundaries yeah fucking hell he doesn't care that guy he's constant then ask you at the end to give him good reviews did he text you asking for a good review yeah yeah whatsapped me no what was he texting you throughout the trip he kept on being like how are you today is it good today I've had that before anything I can do today everything's alright everything's fine Johnny we're all good we're all good here okay are you going to leave a good review well time will tell time will tell you said maybe something savoury as well I mean I would like cheese as well yeah sure I'm almost full at this point thank you Jeannie almost satisfied almost satisfied yeah that's right not full yeah almost satisfied but I will have cheese and I do like sheep cheeses.

1:18:28They're my favourite sort of variety. Like a Spenwood. And I did have like a kind of, it was basically like a Camembert but made out of sheep and I don't know what it's called but it was fucking delicious. So I'd like that. And a really good cheddar. Like a very mature, grainy, crunchy cheddar. Maybe a Conte. Is it Conte or Conte? Conte. With an M. With an M. Yeah, one of those. and then I am a fan of like fruit sweet and cheese fruit and cheese so I would like crazy I know absolutely bonkers first person to put it together but um in Brazil we have cheese with guava like a guava paste which is quite similar to like membrio what's that quince so I want that so like guava cheese maybe some like fruity crap fruity nutty crackers but not like a water cracker no that is a bit yeah I'm not I'm not into that or like those no any of those like Jacobs crackers or a water cracker horrendous no I like the digestive one we've talked about this before what like those digestives well they basically are but in like a big box of crackers like a selection box yeah there's always one that's in the shape of a loaf and it has Hovis written on it and it's basically a digestive oh I've never tried that and you put like it's rubbish really mature cheddar onto a digestive really good I love a little hunk of cheddar now I'm starving.

1:19:52James Acaster: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I was meant to make it so that you never get full and then get full at the end and now you're starving. Yeah. It's true. It's a curse. You failed. It's a curse. I'm going to read your menu back to you now and see how you feel about it. Please. Some of this I won't be able to say. You would like cold sparkling water from a babbling brook, shout out May Martin, with a short glass and three standard size ice cubes in it and a medium amount of lime juice. It's perfect. You would like chicken liver crostini from the co-op in Rufina? Rufina. yep starter he'll never go again Mexican feast for your starter Jamie Fleming's to starter raw bonito al pastor tacos from el vincito pork tamales from el inca plebeo which is Ecuadorian yep James you did the thing that basically every British man does where you can't pronounce something so you just give a bit of hand you just threw a bit of Hand in A bit of hand and a bit of Opacum A little gesture at the end Ceviche Some guac and a mescalita and a mescalita Pasta Duh This is going terribly Pena Alaconesse Alaconesse Pena Alaconesse Do the hand Pena Alaconesse Maine Rabbit Parchetta with Salsa Verde Aioli peppercorn sauce protein rich peppercorn sauce side a Tuscan roast potatoes tomato salad sauteed greens drink chilled red yeah baby dessert those tacos which are the best tacos ever your own recipe I'll make them and a bunch of cheese shit cheese and crackers and stuff doesn't really matter what they are and guava and guava and stuff a bunch of cheese shit you'd eat the guava huh?

1:21:48James Acaster: you'd eat the guava do you not like cheese at all? no I do I would have you'd have the cheese course I would have some cheese for sure especially I keep thinking about like and I know you don't like truffles you'd hate it there's truffle brie that I had and I just kept no actually you know I don't I don't mind a truffle brie I just don't like truffle scented things like synthetic truffle fair enough how do you feel about that menu? I feel really good about it but I do feel like it's missing roast duck lasagna and prawn chung fun. It is. And stir-fried turner cake. So we'll just add those in. Yeah, well, you can have that for yourself.

1:22:25Yeah.

1:22:25James Acaster: Yeah. You know, I mean... But this is for myself. Yeah, yeah. We'll give you a takeaway bag on the way out. Okay. We're kicking out the restaurant now, but you can have a takeaway bag with all those things in. And you can eat them on the way out. No, I don't want a takeaway bag. No, you'd like them. No, okay. But it's a takeaway bag or nothing, I'm afraid. Well, I'll take the takeaway bag then. Well, thank you very much. Thanks very much. Eat in the car park. thanks for coming to the dream restaurant easter thank you so much for having me it's been the honour of my life oh finally someone says it

1:23:01there we go James oh Benito's tummy's growling yeah that's funny isn't it it was a nice menu so I can understand why your tummy might be growling but he held it he held it like he was having a contraction

1:23:11James Acaster: yes yes he was very worried about it he couldn't believe it Benito's waters have just broken Yeah, he wasn't all relaxed like, I don't know, Zaltzman, Andy Zaltzman. Andy Zaltzman. I mean, Zaltzman must just be rumbling 24-7. It didn't face him at all. Yeah. Benito just looked at us there all worried and scared that he was going to die. Yeah, oh no, Benito's... Don't take him to the hospital. His tummy's rumbling. Thank you so much to Easter for coming on the show, and thank you for not saying Easter egg, and so sorry about that again. Yes, yes, thank you, Easter. Everyone should go and buy Easter's book.

1:23:41James Acaster: Mezcla. And also Flavor, which she co-wrote with Yota Motolenghi. Yeah. shout out Otter Lenge oh we don't give enough shout outs on this podcast Peter Piper shout out Peter Piper always always shout out Peter Piper always shout out Peter Piper Otter Lenge and I guess Easter so Jesus Christ since we were talking so much about Easter eggs earlier shout out Jesus Christ yeah yeah not because of Easter's name yeah but because of Easter eggs we were saying Easter eggs yeah yeah so shout out JC yeah thanks very much for listening without we're ending the podcast? I don't think so. It's you who's just shouted out Jesus Christ.

1:24:19Yeah. So what am I supposed to do now? So I'm supposed to clear up your mess and end the podcast. Well, I was hoping so.

1:24:25James Acaster: Yeah. Thought you could clear up my mess. Shout out all deities. Yes. Especially Jesus Christ. No, no, no, no, no, no. Thanks for listening. Goodbye. See you in heaven. When you get there. If you ever get there.

1:24:56We'll see you next time.

1:25:14watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against neo right now at globalgamingleague.com that's globalgamingleague.com everybody games the bleacher report app is your destination for sports right now the nba is heating up march madness is here and mlb is almost back every day there's a new headline a new highlight a new moment you've got to see for yourself that's why i stay locked in with the bleacher report app for me it's about staying and connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real-time scores, breaking news, and highlights all in one place.

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1:25:56James Acaster: Hey, I'm Alison Spittle. And I'm Fern Brady. And you might remember us both from our episodes of Off Menu. I think in my episode, I got very angry when I ordered toast in a restaurant and was presented with hot bread and then told that that was the nature of sourdough, that it simply doesn't toast as a bread. And I said that I'd take it in the hand and the mouth like communion. Did you? I did. That kind of brings us on to the topic of our new podcast, Ignore That Feeling, a show by two ex-Catholic girls who have never learned to acknowledge a single emotion ever. And the podcast is out every Tuesday, starting Tuesday the 10th of February.

1:26:33So please listen and subscribe.