Kaya Scodelario

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3:10Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, cracking the walnut of conversation. Just a walnut? Just a walnut, and there's nothing wrong with simple flavours.

3:18James Acaster: That's it, Gabble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant. Every single week we invite a guest, asking their favourite ever, start a main course dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week, our guest is... Kaya Scodelario! a wonderful actor James Skins of course is where many people discovered her talents The Maze Runner a huge movie series and now Kaya is in she's done other things as well but now Kaya is in The Gentleman the Guy Ritchie Netflix TV series season 2 is about to start yeah very excited to talk to Kaya about that and I don't know what food Kaya likes so this is going to be all new I haven't heard Kaya talk about food before.

4:01James Acaster: No? So this is a new chapter in my life. That's true of a lot of our guests, I guess. No. Okay. The Gentleman Season 2 launches 3rd of September on Netflix. Heard of it? Boom. Ta-dum. Oh, yeah. More of a da-dum. Very excited to have Kaya on the pod and have a chat to her about The Gentleman, have a chat to her about food, her dream meal, etc. But, of course, if she says a secret ingredient that we have pre-agreed upon, she will be removed from the restaurant which is which can be dangerous because she hangs out with some crazy characters in The Gentleman yeah yeah who might beat us up I guess Ray Winston Vinnie Jones heard of him yeah Theo James not a hard man I guess traditionally he's pretty tough he could probably beat us up oh oh god yeah yeah but that is not my ranking system for hard men whether they could beat us up or not because then I'd be going around pointing at little babies and being like, that's a hard man.

4:59James Acaster: And this week, the secret ingredient is cod skin. Cod skin. This is a combination between my idea and your idea. Yeah. Cod. Scott Olario, cod. Cod, that was my idea. Yeah, and skins because Kaya was in skins. Cod skin. We tried to figure out a way of getting maize in there because of the maize runner. And that was Benito's idea. That was Benito's idea. He said corn on the cob. As always, didn't really work. He said corn on the cob because of the maize runner, but I thought he meant calling on the cob because he thought she was called Kaya Scobalaria oh he thought it was Scobalaria yeah yeah yeah he thought it was Scobalaria oh that's embarrassing but you've been practicing Kaya's name because you've got to shout it and you're really worried about getting the name wrong yeah I'm always worried about getting people's names wrong on this podcast sometimes it's the first time I've said that name yeah I've never said it out loud before and I practice them all day and I have been practicing Kaya's name all day yeah so I really hope I get it right Scodalario Scodalario really good make sure you watch The Gentleman Series 2 and come see me on tour at gamble.co.uk.

5:59Fresh Hell, January 2027, it all starts. But now this is the off-menu menu of Kaya Scott - Oh no! Oh, James!

6:17Welcome, Kaya, to the dream restaurant. Hello.

6:20James Acaster: Welcome, Kaya Scott-O 'Lario, to the dream restaurant. We've been spending you for some time. Yeah, I didn't know this was going to be a shouty. I love it. Let's do it. You did say it in your eyes there when I said welcome quite loudly. I like it. I'm awake. Let's go. Beforehand, Kai, you did say to us, I haven't listened to this yet. No. I just want to react in the moment and I thought, uh-oh. I'm going to shout. Okay, good. I like it. I didn't not shout. No. And that was quite loud for me. You were just very on. Yeah, very on. That's good. And I'm aware it's quite different from us just having a normal chat before we start recording.

6:51I like it. Suddenly we're on. Yeah, we're on. but we're in now it's happening okay I'm going to switch on soon my match is kicking in any moment do you like that when you go to a restaurant I've been saying

7:00James Acaster: Scott O 'Lario all day well done perfect he's been practiced all day I've been saying Scott O 'Lario all day I watched a video of you saying it it's phonetic it's you'd like to say it how you Scott O 'Lario it's very easy but people get scared because there's lots of vowels in there yeah once you see all the vowels and all the letters lined up my brain goes don't read that yeah you might not have to say it out loud you should it's easy it's fine Kaya's a good one though Kaya's an easy one but it lulls you into a false sense of security do you think it's easy though because I get called Kaya 90 % of the time every supply teacher I ever had called me Kaya and the whole class would laugh there's my trauma should we talk about trauma?

7:36yeah it's that sort of podcast it's that sort of it's good that you haven't listened to it because this podcast is mainly about trauma okay great mainly about trauma I haven't done therapy for ages I need this let's go

7:45James Acaster: we're perfect that should be how therapy is actually what? two guys podcast you should speak to two guys so that you know straight white man yeah and figure all your problems out always yeah and then you know I can't believe you guessed we were straight yeah it needs to because then you get two opinions right yeah yeah because like you're always you're one therapist you're like I don't know you know but it could cost you so much more to get another one I'd rather have a tag team yeah and I can say something watch them disagree I like that yeah to be fair my last therapist actually got fired because he was sleeping with his clients.

8:25Nice. Wow. Can't trust them all. Pretty cool.

8:28James Acaster: The one on the skins, you mean? What? Well, this therapist does not sound like a gentleman. No. But you know what? Oh. Very exciting. Series 2. Yes. Season 2 for American listeners. Mm-hmm. I'd still call it a series. Yeah. I'd say Series 2. I think you've got to stay true. Everyone's calling it G2 and I don't like that because that reminds me of the security guards. Do you remember that? G4, they were the dodgy security guards. Yeah, I do remember that. That rings a bell. Yeah, G2 isn't as good. But G2 as in like Gentleman 2. Gentleman 2. Yeah. I quite like that though. Is it on people's like jackets?

9:01G2. Yeah, yeah. It's on like paperwork. Yeah. It's not as exciting. No, it's not as exciting. It's on set. We're doing G2. Tell us about G2. G2. Exciting to be back. Really excited to be back. It's a very fun show to shoot. And we didn't know what it was going to be the first year. We had no idea it was going to be such a good success. and to have the privilege to come back to a character that you love and understand and have fun with is always wonderful and it helps i get on with all the cast and all the creative team so yeah i think any opportunity you have to go back on a set that you just know you can get straight back into it the stories this year are a lot bigger a lot broader it's a little bit darker a little bit more intense um but still the fun silliness that people really enjoyed from the first season and it shoots here in london most of the time which is a joy i've spent a lot of my career filming in the arsehole end of canada somewhere and never seeing my friends or going to parties and stuff and now i get to be home which is lovely and uh yeah we go between shooting in boxing gyms to big massive stately manors and everything in between it's a lot of fun if guy

10:09James Acaster: richie was to make another tv series out of one of his films and cast you in it what would you hope what film would you hope it was? Well, let's not talk about Aladdin. Hey, I'll get cast in that as a genie. Yes, please. You'd make an excellent genie. Thank you. I think I would, actually. You'd make a very, very good genie. Would you go blue? Or no? Depends what you mean. I'd go blue, I think. Although it wasn't... People didn't like the blue genie, did they? Blue genie, like real life blue guy, to me doesn't make sense. Yeah, sure. The live action. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just makes me think of Blue Man Group or Tobias Fionke.

10:51James Acaster: Yeah, yeah. You could do just blue hair. Blue hair is nice. That's cool. Like a... Like a Just Stuff Oil protester. Yeah, I was going to say a Facebook whistleblower, but yes. I think similar vibes. I think he had pink hair to be honest. Yeah. I think an environmentally friendly genie is a really good idea. It's great. So like every wish that someone makes, like, I can't do that. carbon footprint is too big. Yeah, here's the impact on the environment. I'm not flying into the Maldives you're talking about. Yeah. Plant a tree. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, good guy. I think you'd be good at that. Yeah, so this has turned into who I'm playing.

11:26Yes.

11:26James Acaster: So I'm going to be the genie in the Aladdin series directed by Guy Ritchie. It's a pleasure. Disney's Guy Ritchie's Aladdin. I honestly can't imagine playing anyone but Susie in the Guy universe. I'm really, really proud of it. I think... She's a badass. She's one of the few kind of front centre female characters that's come out of his universe and yeah, I go to bat for her. She's my girl. Yeah, that's true, isn't it? Yeah. Did you have a conversation with him about that at all? So I auditioned, as everyone does, and it was quite a long audition process and it got to a point where I sort of said, let me just talk to him and explain that I know who this character is.

12:01I know what she is and I can hear her. I can feel her. And as the process kind of got closer towards me getting it, I sort of took a step back and said, I want to talk to the creative team and make sure, because you're only ever sent the first episode. for a tv show and then anything could happen right um and i know it's the gentleman i know i knew that theo's character was the lead but i wanted to make sure she wasn't going to just drift into the background um i wanted her to make her mark one way or another so i had a very frank conversation with the creative team and they reassured me that you know this is something that guy actively wants to do this time is to give this character a level of depth and a level of story and a level of progression through the seasons that he hasn't done before um so i was really reassured by that because that's always important to me um I've said it before but like I've never met a woman that isn't complicated so I've never wanted to play a non-complicated character and we are messy we are funny we are silly we are smelly we are gorgeous all of these things in one um and so if I read a female character that is just one thing um I just I can't relate to that I've never met a woman that's just one thing and I wanted to make sure that Susie had those layers to her like she's definitely a heightened character she doesn't kind of live in our universe maybe and we kind of see this stoicness to her for a long time but I wanted to make sure we have the moments where she's vulnerable and she breaks and and she's a bit all over the place and we've definitely done that a lot more with season two um we may or may not see her fall in love and what that looks like for her which is quite unique because she's such a boss and yeah so I kind of did insist as much as I can on making sure that she would be interesting and I find her very interesting

13:42James Acaster: and it must be reassuring as well because when you have that conversation with the team and they say yep don't worry that's definitely going to be the case but in the back of your mind on those things I mean you're full of shit I'm thinking this could be a trick Hollywood baby they lie they came through they did come through I did insist on it not to toot my own horn but I'm very I try to be very involved with the creative team with the writers beforehand and say, let's do something fun. It's okay if you don't know what. Let's figure it out together. So yeah, I kind of, I went for bat for her the whole way through.

14:13I'd have loved to have been in the meeting where you told Guy Ritchie that women can be smelly. That's probably what got you the job. Yeah. Well, I proved it to him too. I was like, listen, come over her head away.

14:23James Acaster: Over to his laptop, she stinks. Yeah. No, don't get focused on that guy. We never see her with deodorant. So you must have ideas for where you'd like the character to go already. Yeah. And I mean, you don't even know yet if that, you know, pairs up with other people's ideas or like where you're going to land on it. I'm not one of those actors that thinks they're a writer. I fully respect the writing team and I understand there's a process to it. I get a bit annoyed when actors are very protective of their characters because again, I don't want to play a character that I'm completely protective of or that I think is only good.

14:58That's not realistic. I like the messy sides of life. I like the edges around people. um so i'm not pretending like i plan what she does at all don't fire me writers i regret you um they kill me off like joey and friends in the elevator shaft um but no so i i'm you know they know me now so they bring a bit of me into her as well which is always quite fun uh but yeah they have their job i have mine we're gonna get into your dream menu in a minute are you much of a foodie yeah yeah but it's a bit wanky to say that now isn't it

15:32James Acaster: no not on this podcast we let go of all you don't think calling yourself a foodie has become a bit of a yeah but i just feel like on this podcast we talk about the joy of food we enjoy it and i think foodie is still positive within this world it's a safe place this is a safe place yeah yeah i definitely consider myself a foodie i grew up my mum's brazilian and i ate proper meals home cooked every single night we grew up poor as hell but she always made food from scratch and whenever i'd go for sleepovers at the english kids houses and i'd get like fish fingers and chips at 5pm I'd cry because I'd be so hungry because also for some reason in my house we didn't eat till nine every night um but yeah I love I adore food I've never been restrictive with food I yeah come on let's go always start with still a sparkling water sparkling does that make me sound like a twat you're very worried about yeah yeah so I want to come off like a twat no i like sparkling and i discovered it on airplanes because i would always want to have a drink on a plane and then was like listen you can't do that every time when you're traveling for work so i was like all right instead of a beer what can i have yeah this kind of looks like a beer let me try that and now i absolutely love a sparkling water no flavors don't be putting strawberry in it or or oh what are those new can things those ones yeah the ben's got benito is drinking a can of dash.

16:56That's actually quite, we have those on set a lot. Those are quite nice. I mean, they're called dash because they put so little flavour in them though. Yeah. All of these things, it's just like, I just want to fall. Just put that together. I thought it was good. Ed's so smart. I'm the smart one on the pod. Yeah. Smart one on the pod. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, a proper big size bottle of sparkling water at dinner. I don't think, what's the point of the little guy? Yeah. That's too small.

17:20James Acaster: Yeah. So give me a big bottle of sparkling water. And my kids drink it and they call it bubble water, which I think is quite cute. Yeah, that's nice. It's also a better description. Bubble water, yeah. And sparkling water. It's not sparkling. Yeah. We should bring out a brand of sparkling water that comes with a sparkler. That's incredible. Like a bonfire night kind of thing. Yeah. People can drink in the remembrance of the time. No, it's good. No, no, listen. Don't shoot this idea down. Look, this is good. This is an open forum. It's a safe space. Any business ideas you've got, you bring them out, okay?

17:52James Acaster: Just got to taste what it's like to be one of your writers on The Gentleman. Coming to Netflix. Coming to Netflix soon. Series two. No, you were right to shoot that idea down. Yeah. I took it in a pretty bad direction. Do you know what? I'm also completely fine with tap water, though. I think London tap water is quite nice. I'm happy with that. So do I. London tap water. Yeah, but there's a lot of chat about, oh, tap water is better in other places. But there's nothing wrong with London tap water. No, I don't mind not tap water. Do you grew up in London? I'm a Londoner. Yeah, see, that's why you both like London tap water.

18:19James Acaster: Yeah. Absolutely gross. what's gross about it you may as well drink out the toilet mate where are you from Ketman Northamptonshire and even that what is that that's a posh listen oh here we go no it's not a posh place London is a lot posher than Ketman I'm going to have to be on James' side no it's not a posh place okay it sounds quite posh no it's a small market town okay so you say market town that sounds fancy to me I'm trying to speak your language so that you understand what it is yeah it's just in the Midlands okay Midlands yeah yeah sorry that's where it is okay the middle bit nice water yeah the middle bit it's nicer water than here but it's not as nice as up north is that because of the peak district is that in the middle of it we're not near the peak district no but like I'd say like the best water is like yeah it's around that area I did go to Lake District once and had tap water there in the caravan and it was amazing exceptional it was exceptional we took we've got a litre bottle of Evian chucked it out filled it up with the tap water and took it back to London that's good stuff you see that's good stuff Yeah, I mean that's a nice thing to do.

19:22James Acaster: Take it home. It was really good water. You don't even need to drink it. You can just have it on display. This is district water. Yeah, they can see through it. Londoners come. Taste the outside world. There's no bits floating in it. Yeah. On the tap. Are there bits in your water? Huh? Are there bits in your water? It sounds like a plumbing issue. London water sometimes. I saw an American comic talk about how it's just like pouring a snow globe into your glass. Oh. That's what they said. Thanks for that. Ruined it for me now. I don't know. There's no bits in my water. You can't taste it because you're from London.

19:53James Acaster: You can't even see it. I can't see the bits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I'm sure you've got good water. Pop-a-dubs or bread? Pop-a-dubs or bread? Kyle's got a lario. Pop-a-dubs or bread? Bread. Any bread. All bread. Lots of bread. Particularly Brazilian cheese ball bread. Pong de casio. What kind of bread? It's called Pong de casio. It's cheesy balls. Cheesy bread balls. Yeah. You can have them for breakfast, traditionally. But you can have them any time. I've woken up in the middle of the night hungry, stuck some in the air fryer and eaten them. Lovely. Beautiful. Bread. 100 % bread. First time I had that bread, it absolutely blew my mind.

20:29It's beautiful. As a bread fan, sure. But a cheese fan first. I mean, two worlds colliding. Bread. Oh, a bit of bread. Tear it open. Full of fucking cheese. Yeah.

20:38James Acaster: Yeah. It's nice. It's nice. It's nice. Banana's good. Gorgeous. It's so good. That sounds very nice. How many balls are you having? I will stick a good 12 in the air fryer. You can pack 12 in there. Not in one go. Not an animal. No, but I'm saying it's more the capacity of an air fryer that I'm impressed by. How big are the rolls? We're not calling it a roll. We're calling it a ball. A ball. It's a ball. You do. You want to say how big are the balls? I do want to say how big are the balls. How big are the balls? Massive. No, they're like a medium, a good healthy sized ball yeah yeah not too big not like going doctors no one likes a big ball yeah yeah not too big no so they're going in the air fry how big is the air fry you've got one of those it was a Costco one not the fancy ninja one right didn't get that it was my Christmas present from my ex-husband which is you know Merry Christmas sweet yeah and it's got two little drawers you get a few in there but you don't want to overcrowd them because as they cook they'll melt into each other yeah yeah and that's not good because you want it crispy on the outside that bread choice is delicious yeah I don't think anyone's picked that before I think that is the first time yes it's very nice she's unique oh two people why did you ruin that for me let's hear who they are though are they Brazilian you can decide if you want to share these with these people or not okay who Nisha Katona and David Cross neither of whom are Brazilian but second shout out for David Cross in one episode we had the Tobias reference earlier oh yeah we did Cross making it in again yeah which is mad considering he didn't even remember you when you went on his podcast oh that's bad he'd come on and done this i went on his podcast and at one point halfway through say nice to meet you when he first saw you no he refused to talk to me when he first saw me because he wanted to save it for the podcast so that was interesting made it worse because if he said to me nice to meet you i could have said off mic oh we've already met yeah and there wouldn't have been awkward yeah normally i wouldn't do that yeah because it was on the podcast and it's been out in the public art yeah you have to be like we haven't met but he didn't do that so he's He said, no, I won't talk to you until we record.

22:43Okay.

22:44James Acaster: My girlfriend was with me at the time. I was like, she'd come with me because she's a big fan of him. Cute. And I was like, would you like to say hi to my girlfriend? He went, hi, without looking at her. Oh, dear. This is not good. I had to be like, okay, I'll see you later. And she went about New York on her own. And then I sat down with him. And then halfway through the podcast, he went, so this is the first time we've met. And I went, no. No, I'm sorry to bring it up. but you have done our podcast Good for you I'm such a people pleaser I wouldn't have said anything I would have gone along with it People would have been listening Yeah but then people would have been like they have met before It would have been so like much more embarrassing when people listen to it You would have looked like such a cuck I would have looked like a cuck I can't get cucked by Cross so like I said like we've met and he was he did say sorry kind of Did he claw it back?

23:29James Acaster: He doesn't really care about clawing it back I hope David Cross will mind me saying this but he's not a polite man Right or like a considerate man so like he won't mind you saying this yes he does not try and come across that way on his podcast so like yeah he didn't really he did say sorry but he wasn't really right but great taste in bread such good taste in bread this guy your dream starter I'm not a massive starter person yeah good on you you can skip it if you want we can have more stuff later on please don't skip it don't skip it do you know this is really basic I love a good a good by good I mean bad prawn cocktail that's no that's allowed that's totally allowed like a bad not bad like a proper like Wetherspoons prawn cocktail like 70s like prawn cocktail tiny little frozen tiny little frozen chewy prawns yeah I once had like a bougie prawn cocktail in New York at the polo club side note Kim Kardashian was there that night hey or in real life yeah ticked it off the list like seeing the big five in it you've got to see them all yeah in real life who's on hang on who are the rest of the big five the whole family the family it's like a game you've got to see them all in real life so hang on but surely Kim's like the Kim's up there I think Chris' manager is Chris Momager is the number one that you want to see in real life the Lioness the Lioness yeah anyway Kim was there and it was at the Ralph Lauren Polo Club bougie very nice and the prawn I said oh there's a prawn cocktail brilliant I'm going to order a prawn cocktail look at me I'm in New York having a prawn cocktail with Kim Kardashian it comes out and it's the most terrifying thing I've ever seen you know in America like the onions are bigger the chicken breasts are bigger because they're pumping them full of stuff I'm not don't want to get cancelled by America because I want to eat the one down that is true but it's true they've got different regulations everything's bigger you do well to get cancelled by America in this day and age yeah that's true I'm actually in four years time I'd like to go back saying that you think there's something in the chicken breast that's it you're done there's 100 % going on with the chicken breast but it was these giant prawns that were like coming out of the side of the glass it was in this obnoxiously large thing and there was full ice cubes in it and lettuce leaves and I was like this is not full ice cubes in the prawn cocktail this is not what I wanted I've not heard of that before like a seafood tower version of a prawn cocktail I got you and when they say prawn cocktail the cocktail sauce is like a tomato-y horseradish thing right yes everything was wrong about it everything was wrong about it so yeah I want a standard 80s proper English shredded iceberg lettuce shredded they've made the sauce with the mayonnaise and the ketchup minutes before they've just stirred it in and they've stuck it on there there is something I don't know whether it's like a British instinct where we quite enjoy things to be slightly substandard a little bit of shit even though we've tasted all the best versions of things it's because we have shit food let's be honest we are not a culinary country I'm not going to accept that we have nice restaurants but they're from other places they're other cuisines that's true don't knock a Sunday roast don't knock a fry up but that's hardly kind of chemistry is it it's hardly like breaking any boundaries.

26:36Depends how you do a fry-up. Go on. I don't know what you're looking at. Do you not fry it? My fry-ups. No, no, you are right. I just don't like saying it. But quality of ingredients in the UK is absolutely amazing. Listen, I'm saying I think that's a good thing. I think that we like something a little bit not shit, something that feels like home cooking, something that feels like something we can all enjoy and understand. and I love nothing more than taking my friends to a really fancy event and seeing their faces when foam comes out. It is one of my favourite sports because they look appalled.

27:10They don't know what to do with it. They're like, this isn't food. I'm hungry. What's happened? Why am I eating foam right now? And I agree with them completely. So I do appreciate our kind of staple dishes in this country and I think there is something very special about that. And the prawn cocktail is one of the kings of that. It's one of the kings of the staple dishes. What do you reckon Kim Kardashian's reaction would be to a 1970s British Braun cocktail? I mean, I think she'd say something like, this is iconic. I think she'd genuinely find it iconic. But with a really completely blank face and saying it's iconic.

27:44She'd be feeling it, but you can't tell she's feeling it. That's okay.

27:47James Acaster: Yeah. Do you want to star in something with Kim Kardashian? She acts now. She does act now. Lots of people act now. Lots of people do the acting now, don't they? Wow. Wow. What a... The biggest, like, sub-diss I think we've had on the podcast. It's true. Lots of people have a go. That's nice. Lots of people do have a go. I'm glad I didn't send in that tape for the Gentleman series too. Hey, you could play that guy's brother or something. I see you as like the posh nephew that comes... You've got quite a baby face. Yeah. And it's normally the posh ones I get sent. Yeah. I'll dig out what I was sent later, I'll tell you.

28:25Okay. Yeah, yeah. Give you some notes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, thank you. Give me some notes on the tape I didn't do because I was like, it's a waste of time. I'm not going to get it. You didn't do it. Would you like to do acting? I've done a little bit of stuff in the past, but to be honest, I find the rigmarole of filming tapes and then not hearing anything back too damaging. Yes, it's very, very distressing. So I don't, you know, I've got other stuff going on. Yeah, you have other stuff. I'm not putting myself through that. No, we're going to start a sparkling water sparkles company. The illegal sparkling company.

28:53James Acaster: James does acting. Not really. Saint-Mazade really just being yes you do being yeah just being yeah yeah no I've I've tried to do it I enjoy it a lot he's been in films Kaya I just don't he's trying to hide his light under a bushel I'm just acting like I haven't done it see those eyebrows that's an actor that was incredible wasn't it that's really impressive Kim Kardashian can't do that no doesn't move no yeah hey guys it's Drew from the comment section. Some days my skin just needs a little coverage and other days I wanna go full glam. For those everyday moments like running errands or grabbing coffee, I've been loving the Merit Minimalist Stick because it's a foundation and concealer in one that gives me a really natural skin-like finish.

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32:36your dream main course dream main course okay I was I was between a really good Sunday roast but I feel like that's definitely been said before hasn't it

32:47James Acaster: yes still still up to you do you want to hear this before you say it go on prawn cocktail is the most chosen start we have on the podcast well that gives me comfort because I said I'm not a starter. You can't have Sunday roast. No, no. I think I'm going to go for a rodizio, which is traditional Brazilian Sunday dinner where you have a buffet. See, I want lots of options here. I've thought about this. Yeah, this is good. I want it to be brought. So you go in. Have you ever been to a rodizio? There's a few in London. And so you go in, there's a buffet where you get your rice, your vejão, which is our traditional beans, salad bar, and kind of all the salty street snacks, the cheese bread.

33:29Cochininha, which is another Brazilian dish. All these kind of little bits. And then they come round with meat on a sword and they cut it at the table and you sit there for three hours, slowly comatosing yourself, trying every piece of salty meat they bring you. And it's my idea of heaven. I have been to those. I just didn't know the name of it. Yeah. What's it? Fogada chow. That's one in the States. That's a chain one. Fogada chow. Is that? Ooh, I've been saying it wrong the whole time. Xiong. It's that ang sound, which is very unique in Brazilian Portuguese, Ayo. Well, fogo. But you say it how you want, babes.

34:02I've been to that place. No, no, I want to get it right.

34:04James Acaster: You will want to get it right. Yeah, the one in LA is, are you talking about the one in LA? No, Philadelphia, actually. I went to the LA one with Aaron Chen. Shout out, Chenny. Nice. That one's a bit bougie. The best place for Brazilian food in LA is in the, what's the market called? The Grange. The Grove. The Grove. The Grove. There's a stall, a tiny little Brazilian stall, market stall, that does Brazilian food, best Brazilian food in America. Wow. Do you know what it's called, the stall? Brazilian stall at The Grove. At The Grove. And to think, when I went to The Grove, I had Danny Trejo's tacos.

34:36Oh, how was that? Well, it was nice tacos, but his face is on everything, which made me laugh. The best tacos made by Danny Trejo in America. That is such a good choice. I absolutely love those places. Oh, yeah. and yeah just the did you eat the chicken hearts yeah yeah good right I eat all of that anything that comes around on the skewers going straight on the plate it's a really good place to take a guy on a date because they get really impressed by it they're like oh meat wow having a lovely time lots of meat goes down well yeah I've been to one in Brazil as well actually sick in Salvador I know you've been to Brazil that's the first time yeah that's the first time I'd been to one of those places and went with my family and they kept bringing meat to my sister and me and my dad were like, this waiter's trying to chat you up.

35:24He only brings you stuff. And then we realised it was the red or green drinks coaster system. We all had all ours on red and ours was on green. Rookie move.

35:32James Acaster: Yeah, rookie move. Typical gringo. That's what I said. Typical gringo. They ignored me and Chetty when we were doing that. They kept on just bringing it. We were putting the red up like, we have so much meat now. They were like, no, you're not done. You need more. They kept on coming over, scraping it on our plate. Scraping it. They were like, yeah, yeah. You get very offended if you don't finish your food. It's one of those cultures where they'll be like, was something wrong with it? You didn't like it? You're like, no, sorry, I just can't physically eat anymore. But why? Especially the salad bar is so amazing.

36:00Yeah, but don't fuck with the salad bar. This is the number one thing I say when I take people. Don't even look at the salad bar. Get you a little bit of rice, a little bit of beans, and then do the meat. Because that is the trick. You fill up on the salad bar, they don't have to give you as much money. The one I went to at Foggede... Wait a minute. it had a whole like parmesan and like you cut chunks of it so I've done like you know half a kilo of parmesan before I even get to the meat

36:26James Acaster: what are your favourite meats to get at things like this go on you can say it I don't think so he's been practising scotillario I've been practising your name all day I've got another word okay fair enough you're doing well so I like the baby back ribs and then something called flaugina which is another cut of meat and the premium the number one is the picanha which is the one that kind of looks like swells and it's really it's just made with coarse salt and stuck on fire nothing else and it is delicious melts in your mouth juicy do like chicken hearts as well but when you see a load of chicken hearts on the skewer and you realise how many chickens it does put you off a little bit I do feel a bit of guilt in that moment there's not many things where it's one per chicken exactly Right.

37:13And that is one.

37:14James Acaster: Yeah. So there's about, yeah. That's one per chicken. Yeah, it's quite. Yeah, that's pretty bad. Did they know each other, all those chickens? Yeah, were they cousins? Were they in love? Mm. At least they're still together in some way. Yeah. Their hearts are still together. Hearts together forever. Hearts together. Yeah. That's sad. We keep landing on downers during this, don't we? Sorry. We feel quite sad. No, but that is mind-blowing that it's one per chicken as well. It feels like they should have more. Well, chickens should have more than one per. We've got two of everything else. What? Have they?

37:43wings feet thighs legs yeah it's true I see what you're saying breasts

37:52James Acaster: they've got one beak yeah but they're not bringing around a skewer of beaks are they oh sorry you mean the bit that you eat yeah people not eat the beak that'd be a nice snack maybe like a fried beak a crunchy thing at the end yeah yeah use all the animal yeah it's important yeah yeah a little some crunchy beaks maybe I'll start that up Crunchy beak business Yeah Like bags of beaks Bags of beaks Bag of beaks Bag of Brazilian beaks Triple beaks Yeah Or is beak like A Guy Ritchie thing For like cocaine though Yeah he would say that Yeah Probably Bag of beak Well we can get him involved You've got to stop You've got to stop Hanging out with him I think he's a bad influence And I don't think You should hang out With Guy Ritchie anymore Well I think Guy Ritchie Ray Winston's in this as well And Vinnie Jones He's my dad Ray Winston's been on this podcast has he?

38:43yeah

38:43James Acaster: love Ray loves Italy he does love Italy lives in Sicily he's got a place there absolutely loves it he actually bought me back a bottle of olive oil that was olive oil from his olive oil farm and I've got it in my kitchen and I've put in Sharpie Ray Winston's olive oil don't fucking touch so that no one's allowed to use it yeah plug it gonna keep it there can I imagine that being the name of it if he tries to sell it that's what I thought it's kind of a nod to him yeah would be called that is there an actor who you've not worked with yet who would like to put it out into the universe now that you would like to work with on the podcast?

39:15I get excited about young actors like new people what? no one knows they're losers they're nobodies no they're nobodies they've been a dream they've not jaded yet they still think it's all going to be great and I think that's magical to be around so you like to destroy that five minutes with me and they're like wow maybe I don't want to do this for 20 years she's not well you like crushing dreams crushing dreams no who'd I like to work with? I've always said Arnold Schwarzenegger, but that's because he was just like a personal childhood hero and I don't actually want to meet him in case he turns out to be a twat.

39:46James Acaster: Sure. Because you never know, right? You never know. So many people are actually... Do you know what? I will say most people aren't twats. Most people are just a bit boring. I know. There's loads of twats, man. Yeah, there's quite a few twats. There are, yeah. So many. Do you think I'm a twat? No. Okay, thanks. I just met you. I'm glad. We're just on the podcast together, aren't we? I'm going to ask you again at the end. I know. I could never, ever just draw judgment. Actually, some people burn on pulpit. No, you can immediately. Can you tell within like five minutes? Yeah, for sure. No, not within five minutes.

40:12Oh, 100%. Normally, when people show up, we can tell it's going to be awkward. Yeah.

40:18James Acaster: Sometimes you just want to say, I just don't bother. Just go home. We'll do an advert for your thing or something. Yeah, we'll just say it at the front.

40:32James Acaster: Your dream side dish. Dream side. What are we calling a side dish? whatever you want actually because people have hacked this before. So you can just have whatever you like. I mean you've got the whole salad bar at your disposal anyway. I'm not a salad person. No. Are you not listening? I've never enjoyed salad. But it's there. It's there you know. Listen to our guests. Yeah but there's other things on that salad bar. You can get a whole parmesan on there. Yeah. Cheese. Cheese isn't a side dish though isn't it? Isn't that more traditionally a dessert? Halloumi. A bit of halloumi. A feta. A bit of grilled halloumi.

41:03That's not bad. That's a good one. So are you not salad or not veggies at all? I like veggies. I don't like salad. I don't like cold food. Okay. That's a thing. Soup, I've never understood as a concept.

41:18James Acaster: Go on. It's not food. Say more about that. I can't chew it. It really annoys me. When someone's like, oh, I've got soup for dinner. I'm like, no, you don't. You've got a drink. That's not dinner. I do agree with that. Like when people have their little soup for lunch. That's so sad. Why do you hate yourself? I feel sad for them. I'm like, someone needs to love you and give you a real meal. I'm a very big feeder though. That's my, oh, this is wanky to say. That's my love language. Yeah, that is wanky. Yeah, that is wanky. But yeah, I'm a feeder. I love cooking for people. What's your love language, Ed?

41:51Hmm, good question. I like cooking for people as well. What's yours? That's a good question. I guess just... He has no love language. Yeah, we've suddenly made him realise something about himself. you've got to start showing your partner love man yeah what do you do what's your what do you do just love I guess yeah but what is the love language yeah

42:11James Acaster: just show her love yeah but in what way just love her so much just say I love you I love you I love you over and over again well that's that's words of affirmation right does that count as love language yeah I don't see him doing that either no no he goes I love you so much yeah yeah but you kicked your girlfriend out of a podcast and made her go walk around New York on her own that's how I interpreted that story as well me too I interpreted it as I don't want you here you're making it awkward I didn't say that she said to me I'm gonna go because you didn't make her feel comfortable and that's her giving you the opportunity to fix it and you didn't gifts she's one of the smelly women women can be smelly Kaya yeah she is smelly honesty I think maybe that's your love of language directness that's a good one you've got loads of them I reckon Yeah, yeah.

43:04James Acaster: Gifts? Yeah, I love receiving gifts. Your love language is you receive gifts, wow. Graciously. Yeah. You look after the cats. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's a good one. Caretaking. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I guess just love in general. Oh. Yeah, just loving people. Kind of love everyone, really. Oh, that's nice. That's not true. No. You just said that you had a bunch of cunts on him. That you can tell instantly if you don't like him. Yeah, yeah. Awful. Hate them. What's your signature thing to cook for people? Brazilian food. I do a moqueca, which is like a coconut fish stew thing, which sounds not as nice as it actually is.

43:46Sounds delicious. Coconut fish stew. It's very aromatic.

43:49James Acaster: Yeah, yeah. You've got a light cilantro or coriander, if you're dating me. Don't fuck with people that don't like coriander. It's a very important ingredient. What's with those people? I don't know. They say it tastes like toothpaste. It tastes like soap. they say it tastes like soap and it's like a lot of people you know we're special we all you know there's people who taste it it's become this like thing to brag about like you have a gene that you think coriander tastes like soap don't like it doesn't sound healthy to me something's wrong taste some soap what's that taste like tell us what if that tastes like coriander to them and then you've got to start shaving soap into your dishes yeah no that's why I said they've got like coriander I'm not gonna it's too much too much drama yeah I don't like making breakfast I find that stressful stressful.

44:31I'm not a morning person. Okay. So whoever I'm dating needs to do, needs to be okay being the breakfast person. I think that's a fair trade. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll do lunch and dinner happily, make desserts. But in the morning, I'm a Weetabix or toast kind of girl. So you're not asking for anything really in terms of cooking labour. No, I would love them to do it. Yeah, but you're, but yeah, you just, if you want Weetabix. No, I'm just saying that's all I'm offering. But you want them to do something more elaborate. Yes. If they want anything more elaborate than Weedabix or toast that's on them

44:59James Acaster: I can't even make a coffee isn't that terrible because I don't drink coffee or tea Ben makes a great coffee although we told him that the other day and he got angry why? he made us coffee yesterday it was really good and we I took a sip it was so delicious and I said Ben that's amazing and he went I always make good coffee I always do and I was like whoa and Ed had a sip and went this is really really good Ben I don't understand how can coffee be good or bad it all smells It smells horrific. The taste of it is that... It's the same thing. If the taste is nice, it's nice coffee. There's so many...

45:31No, this is a genuine question because I don't understand if you drink coffee. Does it actually taste different?

45:35James Acaster: Yeah, so when people say about wine... I'm going to let you back in Brazil. And I'm not saying these people are liars, but when people say that wine tastes... And they say all the different things they can taste in wine. Yes, yes. I can't taste it. Okay. With coffee, I genuinely can. When people say... I don't understand that. It smells the same. It's chocolatey or it's citrusy or it's got these notes in it. I'm always like... I used to be like, as if right as if love that like you're in the playground at school as if it does and then I'd have a sip and be like lately when I started drinking like filter coffees and stuff and the lovely coffee that Benito makes I was like I actually can taste all those things it's just that I was drinking espresso for years and that I can't taste the difference between although I'm sure there is okay but like yeah like filter coffees and stuff it's changed my life okay I'm glad I absolutely love it I'm glad one day if I ever jump on the coffee wagon I'll call you and be like, oh my God, you're right.

46:27This one tastes like nuts. Yeah. I don't know. What do they taste like?

46:31James Acaster: Yeah, sometimes nutty, biscuity. Biscuity. Okay. Yeah, next time there's like a batch brew or a pour over or something, like, honestly, I prefer the nutty and chocolatey flavour. To the citrusy ones. Yeah, to the citrusy. Citrusy coffee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can eat, there's some, you can get those. The whole world out there I don't understand, guys. But this is it, all this, you know, Brazilian food and, you know loving Brazilian culture and you know I think it's when I was little when I was growing up my mum drank such strong black coffee and the smell of it was really overwhelming right okay and I didn't have a like English family member in the household so I never grew up drinking tea and so I either drink water or alcohol I'm either hydrated or drunk there's no there's no in between respect no maybe an orange juice if I'm on holiday but that's it that's it that's the only middle ground between that's fair enough do we settle on a side dish we talked about halloumi briefly talked about halloumi briefly but I don't think we gave it enough attention I don't think it counts because I didn't no so I'm saying no to a side dish that's okay okay yeah yeah wait a really good cauliflower cheese not the shitty ones the good ones like actually make a roux do it properly with some like nice almonds grilled on top anyone in particular who's ever made one of those where you're like that's the best one and you'd like it for your dream meal well at my local pub but I'm not going to tell you where that is fair enough don't want to blow your spot up it's my pub yeah and I like going there but yeah local pub does a good one I'm sure they'll be delighted that you refuse to plug them on the biggest food podcast it's too close to my house no to be fair we've ruined a lot of people's like locals who come on the podcast who have said the place and then they can't get a table there in the next week yeah but then when you go in the restaurant they start acting weird with you and you're like no I liked it that you were rude to me that was nice I love it when they act weird with us

48:25I love it when we go in and they're all like oh they're here oh they're here yeah send them out some more stuff do you get like a special table no I mean now and again when we go in places they'll send out extra stuff do you know I will say whenever people are like what's the best bit of having the career that you do and I'm always like yeah none of it matters and blah blah actually when you get really good service in restaurants that is like peak I'm actually enjoying this experience of being mildly well known yeah because that makes the world of difference when they're like no come this way have this nice table and they send out extras I actually went to Guy Ritchie's pub Law of the Land with some mates and I'd texted his assistant because I don't have his number it's too important and said oh Rupert by the way we're going down to the pub not expecting anything and they were really generous and really kind and we had like incredible food really amazing wine and I was like yeah this is kind of ballsy yeah yeah I'm enjoying this moment in my life right now

49:19James Acaster: I have heard that pub's incredible it's good it's tiny as well it's not like you know it's just it's a bit I don't want to shit on it I'm not shitting on it it's lovely it's a bit Mayfair it's a little bit policy but that's okay we need places like that too but the food is incredible the staff are amazing I really really enjoyed it we should go do you think we'll get a special treatment text me I'll text the assistant he'll text Guy he'll text seven other people and it'll be sorted yeah perfect I can't wait hey guys it's Drew from the comments section. Some days my skin just needs a little coverage and other days I want to go full glam.

49:57For those everyday moments like running errands or grabbing coffee, I've been loving the Merit Minimalist Stick because it's a foundation and concealer in one that gives me a really natural skin-like finish. But when I want more coverage, I'm reaching for the Hourglass Vanish Concealer every time. I know I'm not the only one who struggled to find the right foundation or concealer shade, which is why I always shop at Sephora. They have the best brands all in one place with so many shades, coverage options, and finishes, plus expert beauty advisors, free samples, and shade matching tools both online and in-store.

50:29So whether you're looking for barely there coverage or full glam, Sephora can help you find your match. Hey guys, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Okay, can we all agree that hosting is so much fun? And I really do love it. Every weekend, it's come over for snacks, let's make dinner together, and somehow the second you put out a fruit platter, it seems that bugs show up before your friends do. This is why I have to have my Zevo flying insect trap. You plug it in and you let it do all the work. It's specially designed blue and UV light attracts the bugs you didn't know you had. And wow, did we have a lot.

51:03Like house flies, fruit flies, gnats. And then with Zevo, bam. Next thing you know, the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats without any mess or strong odors. The best part is the design is actually sleek and curved, so it hides the bugs it catches, keeping them out of sight, and when the cartridge is full, you just grab the no mess tab, throw it in the trash, pop in a new cartridge, and then you're done. No mess, no stress. So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends, and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zeevo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection.

51:42Plug in a Zeevo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home.

51:54James Acaster: So your dream drink. Dream drink. Is water on booze? Do you know what? No, I've been a bit basic already. I will elevate it and say a cocktail instead of a lager. Although nothing beats an ice cold pint of beer. ah heaven but actually a really really good gin and tonic simple but well made I'd stick some juniper berries in there why not maybe a sprig of rosemary you can jazz it up as much as you want I love a crisp gin and tonic but then yeah it's on a hot day my brain goes is it lager or is it gin and tonic that's the that's what I'm saying that's the struggle isn't it that is the struggle I do love a lager I love a cold that's the thing when I hear you talk about the cold lager I'm seeing more I feel like you can read me.

52:44You see me.

52:45James Acaster: I think when you watch this back, you'll see that anyone could read this. Like you're, you really love the lager. I'm like, yeah, I'm going to go with the lager. Like you really, you can tell that when you talk about it, you can taste it in your mind and you're thinking, oh, I want that. Yeah. Okay. It's a lager. So I want you to pick the thing that's your favourite. Yeah. Yeah. Being in like a pub garden with someone you fancy, having a lovely pint of lager is probably my happy place. Who do you fancy currently? Who's number one? Number one. My friends. My besties. Okay, good, good. Someone's media trained.

53:24James Acaster: Thought we were going to get a scoop there. Someone I fancy. But I don't know. To be honest, I do think being in a pub garden with your mates, especially during the World Cup, is heaven. And I'm really, really excited for that. You enjoying the World Cup so far? Loving it. I cried my eyes out watching the goalkeeper from last night. Yeah. Kate Verde. Oh, yeah. I haven't watched it yet. I don't watch football all year round. Just watch the clips of him afterwards. No, no, no. I'm watching the World Cup. I had a great time watching that. He's got World Cup fever. I've got World Cup fever now. You've got to know how unusual it is for Ed to have World Cup fever.

53:58James Acaster: He does not care about football. Yeah. At any time any football match is on, he thinks it's pathetic that everyone else cares about it. Yeah. He's genuinely got... Well, no. Yeah, yeah. I think you're all losers. But he's got World Cup fever now. Yeah, I got World Cup fever. To a degree that I've not seen. But I think it's watching the countries who you don't expect to even be in the World Cup have decent games. And the Cape Verde game with Spain was incredible. But even like the Scottish fans at the Red Sox game, that's amazing. Fenway Park's never had an atmosphere like that before. And it's just a load of Scottish guys being like, let's have fun, let's sing.

54:30I love all of that around it. I probably won't even watch the England game. Yeah, see, I root for Brazil the whole time. Of course. Nil-nil, Morocco. not that arsed okay wow the fact that he knows that now he knows everything yeah the fact that he knows that is astonishing who's pathetic now eh

54:46James Acaster: the old nil nil but they're good though aren't they good football team historically Pelé's injured Pelé's injured yeah Pelé's injured yeah Pelé's out Pelé's out Neymar's back no I it's always beautiful to watch Brazil play and that's what I grew up watching was seeing the young players play and the community around it So all the kind of Brazilians in London would gather together at someone's tiny flat. We'd have flags out the windows. We were never allowed to put the flags out until England had been kicked out, out of respect for the English. Wow. So we would hold back on putting the Brazilian...

55:21Listen to that.

55:21James Acaster: Any reform voters listening to this? Learn a thing or two. Respect. Put the flag away until it's time. So you're saying they should only put the flags out after they've kicked all the immigrants out. Oh, wow. Is that what you're saying? Yes, did not think that through. Did not see that through to the end. Clip it. yeah clip it put some clickbait over it I'm done but the podcast that video will do really well would you ever have Farage on? genuine question have done yeah we've shelved it for now we're waiting until these PM to put it out we try every week we have him in and he always says something we can't put out yeah so we just eventually we'll just have to leave it okay so Benito is saying that Brazil Morocco was 1-1 yeah sure yeah yeah come back at him go 1-1 you fucking moron okay ready it's actually 1-1 so you're an idiot there she's got one cut fever now still one point same goal difference well done good you've come out of that well with your dignity intact well done thank you well done brother I love that you were like we will get comments like that is the saddest part of your life yeah there's people who would deliberately make those mistakes to get engagement we should be doing that sort of thing yeah I did that that's why I didn't know I knew how to pronounce Vogo de Schwam de Schwam it's getting even funky I commented on a podcast clip of one of the guys from Inbetweeners talking about us Skins cast and I was a little bit salty I said well because he was trying to make out we were a bit rude at Tifa on the beach we weren't I said we thought you guys hated us because you didn't speak to us on the coach the whole ride there and then put some fun emojis to make it like light hearted anyway that got like 10 million likes or dislikes or whatever and I thought I've just handed that to them on a plate so you're welcome was there real rivalry between in between us and Skins we just thought they were a bit boring compared to us they were just they were just quiet they were older we were they were about 40 when they did it no they look great now one of them lives in my neighbourhood love you no do you know what we were just actual annoying kids we were 16, 17 on a coach to Tifa on the beach and they were taking it seriously like grown ups and sitting in the back quietly they were talking in the Skins crew this particular day so them telling the story was that we were all rowdy and crazy just having a laugh and they were sat in the back quietly.

57:35So that's up for debate for who's boring or not. Was Simon Bird going to T4 on the beach? Because that makes me laugh. They were all there. Simon Bird going to T4 on the beach. Exactly. So, you know, we weren't being rowdy. They were just being very quiet. But we did think that they hated us for a while. We were like, oh my God, in between us hate us. Yeah, but you were the cool lot, right? Well, we weren't actually. We were the ones that would get like bottled on the street and stuff. People were quite aggressive with us. We didn't go out the whole time we were on skins because it was kind of that laddie era still.

58:04And everyone assumed that we were going to be really crazy. And we weren't. We were kind of, we'd hang out together and joke. And we were quite chilled. We weren't nightclub-y people. But yeah, Tifa on the Beach was the one day of the year where we were like, let's have it. We're going to Western Supermare. This is going to be epic. They didn't let us out much. So that's why we'd get really excited. And Joe Thomas was at the back of the bus reading a book, right? Yeah. yeah genuinely with loads of sun cream on probably yeah with his eyes closed when he was talking well this is an opportunity to stick it to them so then and then they can comment on this clip yes and then we can go back and forth only through podcast comment chats perfect for the next 20 years whilst reliving the shows that we did when we were youngsters yeah no I do love them and I do think that their show was really really great The Inbetweeners yeah I loved The Inbetweeners you heard it here first And Theo was in the movie, Theo James, my work husband from The Gentleman.

59:03And yeah, I rate them. But we weren't being rowdy. We were just being fun.

59:09James Acaster: We're cutting all that stuff out. The more you say it, the more I feel like you're being rowdy on the bus. How rowdy can you be on a coach to T4 on the beach? It was six o 'clock in the morning from Victoria. How old were you guys? I was not quite the legal drinking age. You guys would have been cocoa bananas on that bus. That's the perfect age for drinking. Yeah, yeah. And it was that era where you drink vodka Red Bulls because you think that that's a great way to party. Oh my gosh, horrific. Could not force a vodka Red Bull down me now. No way I'm getting on that coach. If I'm Bird, I'm not setting foot on that coach.

59:41It was us and Brian Bellow from Big Brother.

59:44James Acaster: Which one's Brian Bellow? Brian. He won one of the later? No, no, no. Much later series. From Essex. Brian, he was lovely. Do you have a specific type of lager that you want? A blonde, always. High percentage. if we're going to do it let's do it we're going to get the calories we might as well enjoy this just cold it's very important and I do think we have an issue with that in this country serving warm pints I would like to change that if I was ever to go into politics that would be one of the things I'd run on and that's one of the main reasons you should not go into politics that's why you should I'm aware I'm fully aware that's why you should also way too many skeletons in the closet I have been on camera doing things you know for skins that would never get past but that's not a skeleton in the closet though No, but still, no one wants to relive all that, do they?

1:00:29And the hijinks on the bus on the way to T4 on the beach. That's where it really kicked off. Yeah, yeah. So I think all pubs should, certainly in the summer, be forced to keep the pint glasses in the freezer or in the fridge. Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Forced, yeah. It's a law. That's what laws are, mate. That's what I said. Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Do you want to be moraoning, mate? Yeah. We can do this. Absolutely. You're a bit posh, so that'll work well. Yeah, I think it will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your dream dessert. Sticky toffee. pudding.

1:00:57James Acaster: STP? Yeah. The STP. Although, made one myself recently. There is a fuck ton of sugar in that. No. Actually quite horrifying. Yeah. No way. Come on. Yeah, but I didn't think we talked about the same dessert. But now I'm like, oh, I'm going to have to cut down on those because it's a monster. It is always more than you think, isn't it? I had to go to Sainsbury's twice to get different sugars. In a wheelbarrow. Why are there three different sugars in this? How many sticky toffee puddings are you having that you have to think I need to cut down on these. Every time I have a roast, I would order a sticky toffee pudding.

1:01:30Sure. So now I'm going to have to rethink that. I do love a banoffee pie as well.

1:01:34James Acaster: Yeah. I've got news for you. What? Loads of sugar in there. Don't, don't. There's bananas in it. So, good try. Bananas. I don't actually eat the bananas. I only eat the caramel, the biscuit and the cream. So you just have an offy pie. I have an offy pie. Yeah. But I think the sticky toffee pudding is superior. But it's got to be done well. You don't want one of those microwaved ones that taste kind of crispy on the outside sure when it moist and with a bit of ice cream not crème fraîche I think that's weird have you seen the guy on Instagram who reviews sticky toffee puddings no did not know about this I think he's called like STP reviews or something but he takes it so serious STD reviews he's called STD that's what he used to be and then he's changed his life STP reviews I think he's called something like that Ben you better check that because otherwise people are going to flame us in the comments yeah yeah think about the comments think of the comments scorched in the comments stp.review okay he just takes it so seriously and I respect him so much it's not like oh here we are he's just like okay and this sticky toffee pudding it's a genuine review and gives it a good rating that's good I think we should do that yeah yeah good you'd really like him yeah I immediately want to watch that he's respecting the stp oh don't put any dry fruit in it no raisins no raisins no thank you yeah it's fine that's another thing we're going somewhere else there with that we're going into like Christmas pudding territory which I hate we're in spotted dick territory with that yes exactly if you don't mind me saying a friend's son he's what is he six or seven loves sticky toffee puddings how big is he he's about this big yeah he's about this six year old looks like yeah yeah yeah wide this is how wide he is his head he loves sticky toffee puddings but he he learned recently for the first time that he doesn't like it when there's fruit he didn't know there could even be fruit yeah he got given one yeah it's not fair to just throw that on someone like when they think they know a food and they know what they're about to expect and then you throw something else in there not a huge fan of that sorry Jamie Oliver with your what was it the treats oh man Oliver's catching so many strays in this pod yeah I quite like him not this episode but like so many episodes he catches Oliver catches a stray isn't that just a sign that he has touched so many people yes and he's taught us so much we love Jamie Oliver yeah he's part of British food culture I think that's a huge achievement yeah what do you do with the treats I don't know about this there was something about he was chewing a Spanish dish and he added chorizo to it and the Spaniards got very upset about that well then he probably deserves that one yeah or it wasn't a chorizo he used something else there was and there was the whole jerk rice situation yeah yeah okay there's a pattern form in here yeah so I'm just saying if you want the sticky toffee pudding to be a sticky toffee pudding let it be a sticky toffee pudding yeah yeah for sure yeah you do like the classics yeah yeah I'm realising that this is really fun because I'm actually kind of realising in real time but look But don't get me wrong, I love a seven-course weird-ass tasting menu with smoke.

1:04:29I will try anything. I'm very good about that. I'll eat anything. I love trying local dishes wherever I go in the world. But I guess it's more about home comforts because I travel so much for work and I'm away so much. I love cooking. That's what grounds me. I can't meditate. I can't do yoga or any of those things. Cooking is my way of resetting. A bottle of wine, cooking a really complicated meal and a podcast is heaven to me. this podcast obviously um so i guess it's those comfort foods that i actually genuinely really do find comforting and i do love the british culture of eating in the pub i think there's something really special about that and that that's kind of a family space or you know if you haven't seen a mate for a long time you're like let's go to the pub and have a lunch there's something so warm about that um so yeah i like the classics give me bangers a mash and a chicken tikka masala and and those things i've seen a lot like we've eaten loads of taste in many places as well and they're amazing experiences and it's like the cooking's incredible like mind-blowing but i never remember it like two weeks later i'll never be like i loved that thing we had that specific it's always like the big dishes where you're like sharing and that's that's the stuff that sticks in the mind i think yeah you do yeah i remember yeah anything anything nice yeah do you play up at the stove or on the table good question i mean at the at the stove if it's depends how many people are over see I am that's such a rule in my house the food all comes in on the table family style everyone serves themselves I love that but then how many people are around your table though if it's like family time it's four of us yeah but then I cook quite often for mates so there'll be like eight, nine, ten people at a time see that's yeah but I don't really do that so it's weird to be like yeah no but I love it even if it's just me and like one of my kids I will put the food on the table and serve it at the table but I think maybe that's culturally

1:06:22James Acaster: I think it's a Brazilian thing no but as soon as you said it I'm like yeah that's better that's definitely better like I'm plating up at the stove because it's normally just two of us or like maybe there's a mate round or whatever but like definitely just the thought of being at a table with all the different dishes there and everyone serving themselves and getting stuck in is clearly the best what's beautiful about food is it's so many senses right it's visual it's the smell it's the taste of it obviously but I actually visually love looking at food. I think it's really interesting when you put everything together and can admire the textures and especially with Brazilian cooking, which is why I love it so much.

1:06:54It's colourful, it's bright, it's interesting. There's a dish I make called bau bau de camarão, which is in a pumpkin. So I'll carve out a pumpkin and serve it in the pumpkin.

1:07:02James Acaster: Oh, nice. Which sounds mad, right? And like a huge waste of time, but I love seeing it on the table at the end and going, that's so cool that there's a pumpkin on the table. She took the pumpkin as well. No, pumpkin's not even one of the ingredients. So that's just there as a bowl. It's just a vessel. For the thing. So what are you doing with the pumpkin after? What do you do with the pumpkin? Well, I could empty it and put a candle in it in March. Just wait till Halloween. Wait till Halloween. They go moldy now, don't they? Yeah. It's too warm in October now. Climate change, should we talk about that?

1:07:34Yeah, let's talk about that. It's always fun.

1:07:35James Acaster: Ruining Halloween. Ruining my pumpkins at Halloween. I went to New York once like a couple of weeks after Halloween and everyone still had their pumpkins on their doorstep and they were rank. Yeah, melting and slushies. I was walking around New York, just like, what are we doing here? Well, that's spookier though, isn't it? It was really spooky. Really, you should put them out end of September and let them get really stinky by Halloween. I think that's perfect. Yeah, yeah. It's disgusting. I'm going to read your menu back to you now. Okay, great, because I've forgotten it all. Well, I've got it all written down here.

1:08:04James Acaster: You would like a big bottle of sparkling water. You would like, oh, I can't pronounce the bread. Yes. Go on, you can. 12. Power dig. 12, you got 12. Well done. Power. Power. Power. Pounder Kijos. Kijos. Pounder Kijos. Pounder Kijos. Yeah, that's good. Starter. Bad, but not bad, prawn cocktail. Yeah. Main course. Radiccio? Yeah, let's go with that. Side dish. Cauliflower cheese with almonds on top. Drink a cold high percentage blonde lager. Dessert. Sticky toffee pudding with ice cream. And no fruit. No fruit. And no fruit. Yeah. No fruit in it. No raisins. And no creme fraiche ice cream. What do you think?

1:08:46how do I how did I do absolutely delicious I'm glad you didn't pick the Sunday roast yeah because I think then that would have been like the top hits of all of the menus we've had but you've got to pick your truth yeah and I'm glad we got to speak about got to speak about the skewers okay cool I'm glad too yeah all of that's very nice really delicious where do I go for the bit where they cook it all and I get to eat it that's a different podcast yeah we don't host that one yeah well I'm hungry now yeah sorry about that that's good it's lunchtime well yeah we like to send people into the world feeling hungry yeah you gonna watch football tonight I'm going to well no I'm busy tonight I'm gonna watch the England game tomorrow

1:09:28James Acaster: tell the listeners what you're up to what am I doing tonight I'm going to the pub but non-football pub some blonde lagers some blonde lagers yeah sounds good to me if people wanna hang out with me I'm gonna go and see a gig oh you can see Grace Ives at the village underground. I'm going as well now. Ed's coming along because a friend of ours hurt his foot and can't walk. So Ed's took the ticket. Good for you. Yeah. Not good for him. No, no. Thank you very much, Kaya. Thanks, guys. Thanks, Kaya. Cheers.

1:10:06Thank you so much to Kaya for coming on the pod, James. What a wonderful, comforting meal. Yeah, nice. I want to eat all those meats. I'm feeling in a Brazilian mood now Oh are you? I want to go and eat Brazilian food Yeah that's nice While watching them in the World Cup Yes

1:10:20James Acaster: And with not a pubic hair in sight Okay So thank you Kaya For not saying cod skins as well Yes thank you Kaya Really happy about that Means we didn't have to kick you out And we can tell you that the Gentleman Series 2 Starts September 3rd on Netflix Go and see Ed Gamble on tour Edgamble.co.uk Starts in January fresh hell thank you James go and see James no my tour's over yeah but go just go see him don't go and see me give me some time on my own now pay the guy a visit I'm done the tour's done you can't see me anymore oh and a lot of shout outs to Benito's coffee making skills but of course the quality of the coffee is very important and Benito wants us to let you know that he buys the coffee from Elsewhere Coffee in Deptford yeah he loves it and it was very lovely and chocolatey the other day I'll be exclaimed upon it so go and buy your coffee from there I guess even though we're not sponsored by it he genuinely buys it from there so this isn't like a promo thing it's a clever name for a coffee shop as well Belito wants to recommend something it's a clever name for a coffee shop elsewhere it's when people storm out of other coffee shops I'm going to go elsewhere oh love it that's good isn't it that is good yeah yeah I'm going to go elsewhere oh yeah okay yeah I'm going there at gamble.co.uk

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