Why Self-Acceptance is the Key To Better Sex

0:00Emily Morris: I am so excited to finally share this with you. I am going on tour. It is the best sex ever tour. And I hope you'll join me. And the show is all about you, the audience. Every night, I'm going to be answering your questions, win prizes, and leave with secrets to have the best sex ever. Every night is different because the show is all about you. So here's the dates. July 7th in Rosemont, Illinois at Zaney's. then heading to Philadelphia on August 5th, Nashville on September 29th, and Austin on October 7th. More cities to come. Come with your partner, your friends, fly solo. You'll leave with practical tools, plenty of laughs, maybe some surprises.

0:43Emily Morris: Well, definitely some surprises. Visit sexwithemily.com slash events for tickets and tour information. I will see you there. Can't wait to meet you. Pleasure doesn't require perfection. It requires our presence. We have a lot of shame about being sexual, being turned on and wanting certain desires, and then dropping that critic who says that we are too much, or we're not enough. Your pleasure is not personal. Your pleasure is very personal. It's a personal thing to everybody. It is not performative. I shouldn't want this. I can't believe I want this to be spanked, or I want dirty talk. That judgment keeps us from accepting ourselves.

1:19Emily Morris: Safety is a really important part of us. really being able to let go in the bedroom. So if you felt safe and celebrated and revered, what do you need?

1:31Emily Morris: Hey everyone, welcome to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and my mission is to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate conversation around sex. This show is all about you. It's about you having better sex, expressing your desires, and knowing exactly what you want. Also, be sure to follow me on all social media. It's Sex With Emily everywhere. Subscribe to my YouTube channel for full episodes and my newsletter. You're going to love my newsletter. I've been told I give really good newsletter, if you know what I mean. It's sexwithemily.com slash newsletter. Finally, I am going on tour. And I hope you join me.

2:07Emily Morris: I'll be going all over the United States. And my first stop is in Chicago on July 7th. And the show is all about you. I'll be answering your questions live. We'll be playing games. There's giveaways. It's going to be such a good time. You can find that at sexwithemily.com slash events. All right, everyone. Enjoy this episode. One question I'm asked all the time is, Emily, what products do you actually recommend? And that's exactly why we created Shop Sex with Emily. Every product in the shop is something my team and I have personally researched and tested or recommended because we genuinely believe it can help you have better sex, stronger intimacy, and just more confidence in the bedroom.

2:49Emily Morris: Whether you're shopping for yourself, your partner, or both of you, we've made it easy to find products that actually work. Head to shopsexwithemily.com and discover your next favorite bedroom essential. Ultra running shoes are all about space. The space to go further, to feel better, to do something you never thought possible. And this space starts with ultra fit. Unlike traditional running shoes, UltraFit gives toes more room to move naturally, so every step is strong, balanced, and comfortable. Whatever you're lacing up for, stay out there with Ultra. Shop now at ultrarunning.com. That's A-L-T-R-A running dot com.

3:31Emily Morris: Hi everybody. How y 'all doing? Welcome to our fifth pillar today. It's a very exciting day. this is our fifth pillar. We've done it. We've made it. The fifth pillar of sex IQ or sexual intelligence, which is bringing together all of the pillars that is going to help us have more pleasure in our life, understand who we are as sexual beings, learn to ask for what I want, feel better in our bodies. And as a reminder, the first pillar is embodiment. The second one is health. The third one is collaboration. The fourth one is self-knowledge. And today we are on self - acceptance. And this is the pillar that is about us accepting ourselves as we are today.

4:19Releasing the judgment, stopping any of the performance, performative sex, worry,

4:28Emily Morris: judgment about our bodies, judgment about our experience, and just learning to feel comfortable in our bodies, knowing that we are deserving of pleasure. So let's start with a little bit of a breath work. We'll just repeat this about three, four times, a little bit of box breathing. You inhale through your nose for four, hold for four, exhale for four, and then you hold again. So we're going to inhale, two, three, four, hold, exhale, hold, inhale, hold, hold, exhale. All right. Thank you for joining here. Let yourself soften to the moment. You took some time for yourself in the middle of the day.

5:14Emily Morris: You don't have to be anyone anywhere else. You don't have to be anyone else. and you are enough in this moment. So what does self-acceptance really mean? So it's really about accepting ourselves as we are today. Like we are worthy, we are enough and learning to just reclaim, reclaiming our worthiness. You know, there's so much self-improvement talk and we're never enough and we're not okay. And every time you turn on the TV or you're on TikTok or wherever you are, it's like, do this to be about, take this supplement, do this exercise, do this manifestation technique, do this thing, get this job.

5:52Emily Morris: And it's really, really hard in today's culture to think, take a moment and be like, I'm enough. I've done enough. I am enough. I've learned enough. And everything will tell you this. All the wisdom tells you that the more we come home to ourselves and truly accept that we are perfect as we are in this moment, it really does shift our perspective. I don't know, my anxiety goes down just saying that. I'm like, okay, I've done enough. I have enough. Pleasure doesn't require perfection. It requires our presence. And just all of you being here today are very present with this too. You're present in this moment.

6:31Emily Morris: And I think that we think we put so many conditions on sex and on pleasure, like we have to look a certain way and have this many orgasms and approach our partners in this way have sex this many times a week and our sex is never enough either right and once we just realize that it's really about being present and not being perfect and that's in this context self-acceptance is embracing our body truly as it is today not what we think it should be not what it was in the past and that's a big part of this is like the self-confidence piece and then acknowledging our past without letting it design our future, define our future.

7:10Emily Morris: You know, there's so much thoughts about like, well, if I was a better lover or I could learn all these skills or blaming ourselves for our past sexual activities or thinking our partners had more sex and knows more than we do. There's just all this like judgment about performance, which we want to let go because it really can keep us from having more pleasure and releasing shame too around our turn-ons and our desires and our perceived differences, right? We have a lot of shame about being sexual, being turned on and wanting certain desires, and then dropping that critic who says that we are too much or we're not enough.

7:50Emily Morris: So this pillar says, I deserve pleasure now, not in a different body, not in a different relationship, not in a different context, but today I am worthy a pleasure. And that's what self-acceptance is about. So the thing about self-acceptance and about confidence is it's not a destination. It's not a place that you get to and you are fully confident forever. Now I'm confident and I'm going to work on other things. I think we all know that confidence is a journey and it is, you know, you're not going to learn to love every part of yourself every single day. It is certainly a practice and it's a practice where we have to let go sometimes of the grief of what we were or the shame around our bodies.

8:34Emily Morris: And some of these phrases might help you think about how you could reframe it. Like, I might not feel sexy 24-7, but I still get to experience pleasure. Or like, I carry scars with me, literally, emotionally, physically, and I still deserve to be touched with great reverence and deep reverence. Or this is the body I have. it gets me to and fro and I am worthy of pleasure. And I got to remind you that we do carry so much shame in our bodies that we don't even realize that we're carrying. We've been taught that our bodies were shameful from a really young age or that even having sexual desire is dangerous, or maybe it was dangerous for us.

9:15Emily Morris: And some common shame narratives, I'm broken because I don't orgasm in a certain way. Like that's the core belief is there's a right way to do sex and there's a wrong way to do sex. But the truth is there is no standard. Your pleasure is not personal. Your pleasure is very personal. It's a personal thing to everybody. It is not performative. I find this to be a really big one that we just are constantly judging ourselves against the sex that we think we shouldn't be having. We assume other people are having different kinds of sex. So that's a really big one. Another big core belief is my body isn't sexy enough to be desired.

9:51Emily Morris: No one's going to want me. No one's going to like my body as it is. and, you know, only the core belief there is like only certain bodies get to be erotic. Like if I look a certain way, those bodies have more pleasure than I do. Obviously, none of this is truth because the truth here is all of us, we all deserve pleasure. We're already worthy of desire of pleasure as we are today. And I don't expect anybody just to be like, oh yeah, I got it. I'm out. Like that's, I feel that. But again, just knowing that and hearing it and having these like affirmations written in your phone, or if you need to do a little pre-sex ritual where you are reminding yourself that you are worthy of pleasure and remind yourself what pleasure feels like, could help anchor in this core belief and this core wisdom that self-acceptance is a really worthy pillar and that your body's worthy of pleasure.

10:44Emily Morris: And it's important that like when we don't accept ourselves and we just have so much negative self-talk around our bodies, it really makes it hard to be present. A great exercise for this is our mirror talk exercise. And you could try this tonight or this week where you just look in the mirror. You could be naked. You could be clothed. This is completely your choice. And you could say, this is my body. It has carried me through life. I've survived. It deserves love. It deserves pleasure. I know that feels awkward. it can feel very awkward but there's really so much power in making eye contact with ourselves and our bodies because if you think about it we're asking someone else to do that we are asking our partners to to look at us right or we don't want to be seen by our partners but then we don't want to see ourselves and if no one's looking at ourselves then who is like what is it Like it's, it's a shame and distrust and, and negativity all around.

11:45Emily Morris: So this practice of deeply connecting to ourselves, you could always try, we did a tip of the week called watch yourself in the mirror. And I do talk about this. I talk about watching yourself during solo sex, but even the practice of every morning, look at your body when you're having sex or when you're self-pleasuring, but just like, good morning. I love you. Like when you're brushing your teeth, don't look away. You know, we're always in our thoughts, but sometimes I just look at myself and I'm like, okay, today's a day. I love you. You're good. You got this, right? Like, even if it's just for a few minutes and you build on that, I love building stacking habits on toothbrushing, toothbrushing.

12:23Emily Morris: Because, you know, it's the one thing we do every day, hopefully. Other things can be hard. So it's like I have my supplements about my toothbrush. I drink my water. You know, it's there's. So just to say, like, I'm going to look in the mirror today. Like, today I'm going to, like, be like, you are awesome. You are deserving of pleasure. Today's going to be a great day. I mean, again, it might seem contrived, but if we're not doing that, where is your head in the moment that you're brushing your teeth? Are you thinking about what's next? Are you thinking about what happened in the past? Are you thinking about your day?

12:52Emily Morris: But what if you just take a moment to deeply connect with yourself? That's going to really help towards this self-acceptance. And the pleasure thieves that steal self-acceptance, I've talked about stress, trauma, and shame, But when it comes with those are the pleasure thieves. But when it comes to self-acceptance, a big one is the comparison thief. Oh, well, they look better than I do. Everyone looks better than I do. I don't have the same body as my partner or as this person I just saw walking down the street or what I see in porn. This is a really big part of this shame. We compare, we compare.

13:27Emily Morris: We think we should be something else. Another thing is judgment about our desires and our preferences. I shouldn't want this. I can't believe I want this to be spanked or I want dirty talk or I want sex this often or not this often. Right. That judgment keeps us from accepting ourselves. And then perfectionism. I can't be intimate until I have the perfect body. I have the perfect moves. These are all really deep parts of the thieves. The comparison, the judgment and the perfection of the that resonate with any of you. Can you hear those in your head? And can you imagine if those stack up over time, how much they're keeping you from pleasure?

14:06Emily Morris: It's really hard to be fully embodied and to be fully present when these thoughts are just running wild in our head. And, you know, self-acceptance is truly a practice. It is a really deep practice. It's probably one of the most important practices out there because we need it in life, not just in the bedroom and for our pleasure and our sexuality, but just accepting that we are good enough and we're doing enough and we're doing what we can. And it's just, I don't know, a daily reminder to accept as we are. Again, this like improvement culture, this you got to do this every day and do that thing every day and improve, improve, improve really just doesn't allow us a a lot of room for self-acceptance.

14:51Emily Morris: So this pillar comes alive in small everyday moments. So maybe it's saying yes to sex, even if you didn't shave or you don't feel great in your body today, but just saying, you know what, I'm going to say yes. And then I'm going to practice some embodiment, which we learned in that first pillar. Yeah, I don't feel great in my body, but I'm going to practice breathing with my partner. Or I'm going to practice collaborating with my partner right now where we can talk about something that we really want and then it'll sort of take over from that worry, right? If we know that we're being present or we're actually working to collaborating with our partner and having sex the way it feels good.

15:30Emily Morris: Another thing is giving ourselves permission to rest instead of perform. Maybe you really truly don't want to have sex. You're like, this would just be performative. It's okay to say no and say, I'm just going to take rest. Or also exploring what feels good, not what you think feels good. Taking a beat and saying, you know what, I'm actually going to spend the next week just with some solo sex time figuring out what I actually like. I know that Emily's mentioned that a lot, but I haven't done that yet. So I'm just going to explore. I'm going to get curious about my own pleasure and what feels good.

15:58Emily Morris: And another thing that might help you here is releasing orgasm as a measure of success and leaning into connection. So much of wonderful sex, the memorable sex and sex that we crave is really just about connection and feeling connected to our partner. So it might be resolving some some things that have come up for us or some fights or disconnects with our partner and just saying like it's not just about orgasm it's about knowing that it's about orgasm although orgasm is very is important but sometimes we just think that's the only measure like orgasm is the measure but I like to remind you that pleasure is the measure having more pleasure is the measure into the kind of sex that you will be craving.

16:40And that will be memorable.

16:43Emily Morris: Memorable because people are like, what kind of sex do you remember? You know, what kind of sex do you crave? And it's usually where we felt like connected to somebody. And you could try asking yourself here, what could change if I believed that I was already enough? So take a moment and think, if you truly believed that you were enough your body was enough you've done enough what could my sex life be like so maybe just a second to think about that you felt really great in your body would you feel more free to move about in the bedroom and to really express yourself what could change if i believe that i was enough you also could ask yourself what are the things i need to feel safe and celebrated safety is a really important part of us really being able to let go in the bedroom so if you felt safe and celebrated and revered.

17:35Emily Morris: What do you need? You know, are there words that you need to hear from your partner or from yourself? Are there certain protocols, certain repairs that you need in your relationship? Think about that.

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19:23Emily Morris: And then ask yourself, where could I bring more softness to my inner dialogue? Where am I being really harsh on myself right now? Where am I being unforgiving? Could you soften around those edges? Could you replace it with some more friendly, loving thoughts? I am deserving of pleasure. My body is built for pleasure. I'm excited to have pleasure. My body thrives with pleasure. My whole life is better when I welcome in pleasure. So for this week, that's a funny thing here in the chat about this that made you think anything. I love like thinking about the inner dialogue. We did a great session this week.

19:56Emily Morris: I think it was one of my favorites that we've done. And I actually used some of those tools this weekend. I was feeling disconnected from my body. I was out at a concert in Las Vegas at a concert. And I started feeling anxious about the crowds and things that were happening. And I was remembering some things that she told us about. Because a lot of times, a lot of our fears and the negative thoughts we have are the inner child, stuff from our childhood that are no longer true. Like, I'm not safe. And I remember feeling that much. She had this great line where she was like, when you're feeling that, remember that I'm an adult now.

20:32Emily Morris: I have keys. I have a credit card. I can escape. I can leave. I'm in charge. I'm running the show. Those exercises were so powerful. Yeah, thanks for posting that. I know. Alexa and I had some really big, big feelings around that. Some really powerful releases. So again, it was just a lot of self-acceptance is, again, about reframing our core beliefs and our thoughts. our core beliefs are programmed in our head from a very young age that we don't even realize that we are the ones that continue to feed them to ourselves that's taking us away from pleasure and they just don't serve us at all so some action steps some some that we can do this week you could choose one act of like some radical self-acceptance for you for you to reclaim your pleasure your worthiness your desire maybe wear something sexy just for you like whether it's lingerie or wear something that makes you feel sexy.

21:29Emily Morris: That's just about you. I did something, was I, oh, it was last night. Saw, who did a wonderful somatic dance release here, if anyone saw that, he did a live performance, a live exercise in LA last night. It was incredible. And it was like walking like you are like the most confident in the world, like walking like you were, cause he did a whole death and rebirth, like walking, like you were just born. Like you have released everything and you are yourself and you're confident and it took a moment like it was easier to act like do the stuff that was about like releasing and pain but then to be like I am the most confident released uh pure version of myself and I'm walking through life we're all like walking in the room and it was like take a moment but when you think about it like what is that version of you that is the sexiest that does feel the best in your body who is who is this person?

22:19Emily Morris: Have you ever seen them? Can you think of a time when you felt that way? And if not, it's interesting to think that it's just going to happen all of a sudden with a partner. That's why I love this stuff is practice. Like practice walking around, feeling good, looking in the mirror, dancing for yourself. It's really freaking powerful. It's awkward. It's not easy. But if you think about it, how else is it going to happen? Like, has it happened yet? How is that going for you, right? Like if it hasn't happened yet from all these other things you've tried, we have to give it to ourselves. Like it's our own inner power, our inner strengths, our inner knowing that we are enough and that we are sexy.

22:58Emily Morris: Another action you could try is compliment your body out loud. So we're doing the mirror exercise. You're like, I look good. Like I love the way my shoulders look in this top. My hands are really like sexy or my love my thighs. Or I, you know, I love the, the nape of my neck, whatever it is. I love the color of my eyes. Like saying that to yourself, we so deeply crave that from other people. Affirmation. People think I'm hot enough. They love me enough. I get enough likes. I get enough affirmations, but we're not giving it to ourselves. Like I think the reason why we crave so much of that by others is because we literally have negative limiting beliefs.

23:36Emily Morris: Like why would we need it if we were giving it to ourselves enough? So complimenting your body out loud. Maybe when you're brushing your teeth in the morning, and you're already looking in the mirror. You get out of the shower, right? Try that one. You could also try doing a solo sex session, masturbation, aka masturbation, just for exploration, just getting curious about what feels good. What do I actually like? What kind of touch feels good to me? What kind of movement feels good to me? What kind of sounds feel good to me? Sound is such a big part of pleasure. Moaning, making noise that's commensurate with what we're actually feeling.

24:12Emily Morris: A lot of us have never used our voice to express pleasure, you know, because we think it's going to sound funny. And just practicing, like, letting go with your own while you're pleasuring yourself is just a great way to practice that. So when you are with a partner, when you're with your partner, you've already experienced it. But sometimes we don't even realize that we've been so quiet during sex. So it also helps with blood flow. It helps us actually experience more pleasure the more we make noises and moans and sounds and screams and all those things. And then journal. Another prompt for this week, another action step would be journaling about what you do if shame wasn't calling the shots.

24:55Emily Morris: We talked about some ways shame shows up, right? If shame wasn't telling you that you're not having sex enough or the right way or your body wasn't looking the right way. Like, what would you do sexually in bedroom, but also in life, if your shame wasn't calling the shots? What would you ask for? Who would you be? What would you say? What would you be doing? How would you be living? How would it change your relationships? How would it change your connection to your body, to others, to your relationship? Shame is that, you know, you're not enough. You're not good. You're doing it wrong. Flip that.

25:35Emily Morris: That's not even possible. Just imagine how much freedom you have to really explore what you are worthy of, what you deserve, and what it would look like. What would it actually look like? Move to it. Visualization is great, but sometimes we've got to move to it. We've got to feel it, right? Walk. Go on a walk thinking about, okay, I have no shame. What am I doing with my life? What feels good? What decisions am I making? Try it. See how that goes. Self-acceptance is a really big unlock. It really is. when you're like, oh, I'm the one who's not even letting myself. I'm cock blocking myself. And it can unlock so much more pleasure in our life.

26:11Emily Morris: With this moment, we stop trying to be better. And we just honor where we are and who we are today. Sex can become more healing and expansive and pleasurable and real, just more real. Because I guarantee you, your partner's got these things going on in their head too, that they should do more, they should be more, that their body isn't shaped right. If this was different, it'd be better. And I mean, none of that is true. Like sex is energy, right? So we all actually have enough right now today to have the most pleasure. It's like all available to us now. And now that we've worked through all of the pillars.

26:43Emily Morris: So what if we stopped trying to be better? Sure. We are trying to be, to be better versions of ourselves, but also remembering that we also are enough in this moment. Like I'm giving you just so many tools all the time, but also you get to take what you like and leave the rest. One thing you could take one thing from each pillar, right? Like there's just one, you don't have to do it all. No one does it all. I don't even like telling you to do something every day. That's why I give you so many options because you never know what's going to connect with somebody. We're all so different. We're all so bio-individual, right?

27:15Emily Morris: So any of these, just do one. It could work for you. So a challenge for you, do one thing that honors your wholeness as you are now, not who you're trying to be, who you already are today. So just remember, you're not too much. You are absolutely enough. You are worthy of pleasure and there's nothing wrong with you. Now, that's our self-acceptance pillar and that wraps up the pillars. And so when I talk about bringing it all together, I want to talk about bringing all of the sexual intelligence together for a moment. And you could go back if you've missed any of the pillars and watch those again.

27:51Emily Morris: But even if anything, knowing like embodiment, like we've been breathing at the start of all of these, like breath work will help you be more embodied. Being present, help you be more present during sex. even if you did some breathing, some looking at noticing the senses around you, what you're smelling, what you're hearing, what you're tasting. You could really practice that the next time you are seeking pleasure. And then for health, are you moving your body, eating foods that make you feel good? Are you checking out your medications and making sure that they're all working for you, not with you, looking against you, look at side effects?

28:26Emily Morris: And then collaboration, you know, having one conversation with your partner this week, this month, today, that is about connection, because sex really is a collaboration. Is there anything in there that you could do? And then, you know, self-knowledge, like, what do we know about ourselves today? What do we know that feels good? What do we really learn about our own pleasure and what we actually require? And substance is really the success that we are enough. So are there any questions about self-acceptance or any of these pillars so far? Anything come up for you? I love answering questions, but this one came in.

29:01Emily Morris: My partner located my G-spot, which felt amazing. And once he started to apply some pressure, I didn't want him to stop. However, just when I thought I could possibly orgasm and have a release, my body started to tense up just like it does when he does oral or direct stimulation. What's your take on it? I can't seem to figure it out, especially since I'm absorbing and taking it all in to this wonderful pleasure. So it sounds like this person is trying to have an orgasm, maybe have some squirting female ejaculation, but it's just not happening. Just remember that it's a practice. It's not going to happen the first time.

29:38It's

29:39Emily Morris: really helpful to have a G-spot orgasm on your own first, but without your partner, because there's so much pressure in that. So I would actually definitely practice on your own and your breath, focusing on your breath and not in your head. So you're able to explain this to me, like you tense up. I didn't want him to stop. You could have a release and your body tense up. I would, that when it's tensing up, I would breathe. I would breathe deep into your pelvic floor, feel the breath moving through your body and then release it. Like consciously taking slow, deep breaths, relaxing your pelvic floor area and just you know being present with the moment going back to your breath when you go back to your breath you can't really be in your head as much and then give you back to your partner maybe they need to slow down a bit or a lighter touch to help you stay in that spot without tipping over into the tension like there is a moment of um of too much not enough like i think we feel like sex has to keep escalating and escalating and we can't slow it down and go back up again, but that's also what we call edging.

30:39Emily Morris: So there just might be a learned pattern in your body that you should keep going or that you tense up. And so slowing it down, breathing, stopping and starting again, maybe taking the pressure off your G spot and going back to oral sex for a minute and then going back to the G spot or going back to kissing, and switching it up, breathing into it. And you can also tense and relax your pelvic floor too. Like do a kegel while you're experiencing that. That could also help. Tensing and relaxing, tensing and relaxing, pumping those pelvic floor muscles, those PC muscles could also really help. But this is a common question for many, common scenario that many people get themselves into.

31:24So happens a lot.

31:26Emily Morris: And yeah, slowing down and breathing is gonna help us a lot during sex. So thank you for that question. Please let me know if you guys have questions that you want answered. Just put them in. I got you. Thank you, everybody, for joining. I so appreciate you all, and I hope you enjoyed the pillars. I can't wait to hear. So, Cynthia, I just got a question. Your biggest roadblock is self-acceptance. You've asked your partner if you could have the lights off when you're together, take the pressure off and get out of my head, but my partner requires visual stimulation. You've come to a fork in the road.

31:55Emily Morris: Any suggestions? That is a great, great question there. So the lights off, that is a really big part of the self-acceptance. A lot of people who have trouble with it, they want the lights off because we're not feeling great in our own bodies. And so, Cynthia, I'm hoping that maybe some of these exercises we talked about today might help you take some baby steps toward your own acceptance. How do you pull, here's a few suggestions. How do you feel about a candle instead of the overhead lights? I don't even turn overhead lights out in my house ever. but also what about wearing something that makes you feel sexy you don't have to be totally naked do you have a little lounging like a gown or something like a lingerie gown or a nightie that makes you feel good or like a little teddy knee socks or you know is there any kind of things that you wear that make you feel good off the shoulder top but you don't have to be totally naked during sex either.

32:51Emily Morris: So that might be a nice way to compromise because you might find that once you're feeling that the lights aren't on you or it's the right kind of light, dimming the lights, I'm wondering if that makes a difference at all. And yeah, a little bit of candlelight flinkering in the back, putting a shirt, like a blanket over the lamp, dim light. Because I understand that also we talk about connection during sex and it can be hard just to be to be in our heads so cynthia for you i would say that that doing any one of these exercises might help you feel start to feel more comfortable since this is your biggest challenge i'm so glad you came today and um i hope that some of these action steps might might help you i think they will it's a process i've seen many people have very similar light out lights out requests and once they start to look in the mirror, have more positive affirmations.

33:50Emily Morris: It flips. It takes patience and presence, but you're going to get there. Thank you, everybody, for joining. I so appreciate you all. We got this. We got the five pillars. We got sex IQ. We're going to have some variety next week. And I just appreciate you all so much. Let us know what you need. We got you.

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