England Win in Melbourne: Pitch Debate & What Comes Next | Stick To Cricket EP 28

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0:33I mean, he looked a bit cheapest in that page. Is it Matt Page? I mean, he just all you can say is I got it wrong, which you did. So what did he get? What did Australia ask for? You're coming to the MCG the 3-0 up, they're looking for five. What did their management ask for? I reckon they wanted movement. Yeah. Let's take bringing Laurie Coliver actually. Laurie. Hi, Buzz. Laurie. Movement. Give us some movement numbers. Well, when the ball reaches the batsman, Adelaide Test was about normal. Here, an extra three to four centimetres of movement once he got to the batsman. Centimetres? Once he gets to the batter?

1:14Yeah, once he gets to the batsman, yeah. What's that? Is that four centimetres? I think that's six centimetres. Is that four? Is that four? I hope it's not. That's my goal. A great statistician from Fox Sports, isn't he? He just sits and gives us numbers. yeah so if you want any numbers whatever numbers you need whether it's a phone number a cricket number yeah just ask him throughout the show he's gonna be there I am lots of numbers never sorry I did enjoy and what he said though he said he was scared of what how hot it's gonna be in days like three and four you've got to get to three and four right it's very hot he's right he's lovely day four what did they ask for they must have said can we have a bit of Well, movement, they must have done because, listen, they wanted to go 5-0.

2:025-0. And let's be fair, it could have dropped either way. It was a bit of a Western, wasn't it, really, that Test match? A Western? Yeah, Travers said road into town, didn't it? Travers said road into town, had a couple of whacks. Harry Brook had a couple of whacks. Did he ride in the town? He rode into town. Kneeser? Kneeser. Kneeser. He came in, he had a big sombrero on, a great big sombrero. it's like Clint Eastwood did you enjoy it did you enjoy it come for us yeah no gunfight at the KMCG that's what we're calling it did you enjoy it I was entertaining I mean the ball absolutely on top hundred percent when you see like 80 mile an hour ball is wrapping the drum smacking into the gloves and elbows elbows got like yeah yeah went up and down I was entertained and it was intriguing because you don't need your seat every single ball because you felt there was gonna be a wicket but that wasn't test cricket for me remember that one that got abandoned which I was involved in a carabin Jamaica I was there that's it Jamaica 63 days that last 63 balls and then they abandoned the game Wayne Morton the physio the physio Wayne was sat as we walked out because he just was out there about 15 times.

3:26That's it, he just waited. He just waited. And the team selection was that Jack Russell was keeping wicket. That's right. And he had a bad baked bean or something, some Weetabix that had gone wrong, and he couldn't make it in the morning, so we then went to Butch and says, Butch, you're in, get ready to play, you're in. Oh, great. First ball, he goes, boom! He's on the glove and caught, that's it. Jewish of all when you like minus I was saying when he's getting it he's good in it because he kind of acts well you know Alex Stewart was the greatest in that test my see when I was watching that yeah he went out to bat and of all the most in the place trying to be tough one thing I'm looking at the pitch well that's not quite quite right and then Stewie went out there he got one ball there he's like yeah yeah for the next cancel for the next five days didn't we we had to go to the British Eye Commission and entertain all the bar all the people who come over that's it yeah we Well, the Aussies, day three here, they were sent out to a media fan engagement morning on the stage, being interviewed.

4:29They, I think, gave interviews to all the press. So cricket Australia, there was rumours when it was coming to an end that the players, I don't think it meant that they got to the England scene. Beer match? Yeah. Beer match. On day three, would the players be willing to play a game of cricket on day three? That was messy. That's been done before, Ray Lingworth. Really? Yeah, Ray did it with Michael Atherton as captain. Did you actually do it? Yeah, they did. They played another game. Well, 2006-07, in the one-day series, Australia, Adelaide Oval, we lost before the lights came on. Were they day and night, mate?

5:05Yeah.

5:08Saved on electricity. We were asked whether we'd play a C20 game with the lights on. I don't think you can do that. You can't have a beer, mate. I thought about that. By the way, can we just change this? Can we change this? It says, days since in the last one in Australia, 5 ,468. Have you got something to rub it off with? I've got it, I've got it. This is wrong. What is it, Mike? What is it, Mike? Well, it was 5 ,468. What is it? 5 ,468. Two. It's now two. Yeah. That's wrong. It's wrong. How to do it? It is. Obsolete. Obsolete. Where can you walk to in two days? Let's just make sure, right? Laurie, is it two days?

5:49Correct. You're the starter, thank you. Yeah, no, correct, Vornick, yeah. Two days. Two. Two. Hey, just as well it dropped our way, if it hadn't have dropped our way. Where are you going? I don't know. If it hadn't have dropped our way. I've come in an Uber this morning, and even he was spewing the Uber driver. He says, that's not test cricket. Antonio, he was called. He said, it's cost me$2 million, is that? Two million? I thought it were exaggerated. That's a lot of Uber drives. It's cheaper, I mean. Uber's a cheap, eh, you know. Well, I thought they were expensive. Did you say? Cookie, come on.

6:24Cookie's got something to say. No, I haven't any more. You've got a good point, though, about it falling in England's way. Because the supporters, I was at a thing last night at Agar's, who was... I was, John, I was with him in the afternoon with a parrot. We had parrots on our shoulder. You probably saw what he was like, but I dealt with a wreckage. um and is it jonathan i'm you from the bbc he wants to be here no come on anyway he was excellent but all the english fans there yeah well there's only about we did like a little q a saying would you are you happy that lasted two days yeah about 95 percent were fine with it were they yeah because no they were because they want they were so pleased to say this evening and win right yeah but if i would have done that and they'd have lost oh yeah i i think it would like it'd have been a wreckage it would chaos yeah no i make your right start of interest jonathan agnew bbc was correspondent now magnificent uh commentator um how was he because when i left him i reckon he was seven bottles deep

7:33we'll leave it there yeah come on let's get a party going Oh, I don't like this. We won a test. First time in 15 years. I am won a test.

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7:58There's a load coming in. Sorry, it's finished. It's finished. It's done. The reason why this picture's here is because of you. I do have to apologise. People who sat through that never wanted to sit through two days of watching me bat, so they've totally changed the way the pitch played. I've forgotten my name on a couple of occasions, and I've forgotten where I've lived on a couple of occasions, but never both together. That is quite spectacular. When you start looking at little bits of it in isolation, it doesn't look like an elite performance environment. This Australian side, they're a decent sub.

8:33I've got my word, they're there for the taking. Four years time, Josh Tung, man of the series. England win the Ashes. Four years? Write that down. It was a full ball, hadn't even landed in the omelette. And I've decided to go, hi-yah!

8:54You know you're talking about the beer match after. I was thinking about commentary boxes. England versus Old England versus Old Australia. And trying to pick a team. Fritley, but then I looked at then I the first thing I've done was get Get one of those cutters to cut the pitch down to make it slightly But then I looked at their bowling attack which has been floating around We pick our team Pick our team once we love them. They be available. Yeah, I'll play. Yeah, right. Yeah, so they doing about what? What do you think I want about don't have to go down you have to drop I got to you can't eat got me.

9:29No, I'm gonna take you're going in first. This is your ground The reason why this picture was here, because of you. I do have to apologise. You bored the life out of it. What year was that? 2017? Well, 17-18, I got a couple of... I got 244 not out, and I walked off, and that was the best I've ever batted. In my... Not for the most meaningful innings, but terms, I was playing straight drives. Played beautifully. Straight drives. I never played a straight drive in my life, and I played about seven in a row. So I walked off, and I thought, do you know what? I'm really pleased how I batted there. Two days later, announced that the people who sat through that never wanted to sit through two days of watching me back so they've totally changed the way the pitch plays because I mean I must feel proud of that there's not many players in the history of the game of change a pitch so until after that 244 he said that'll never happen again after this he said I'm not playing I'm going to umpire yeah any on my managers manager in the output bless him the old curator yeah or groundsman he said he said the first day he was in a state of shock to shock 20 wickets 20 wickets he was hiding under or something it was sort of like could he have um on the sly on after day one just i thought in the middle of the night yeah well it's like oh get very easy on a lawnmower just to drop it down very take it down to eight million just because if you go in three days no no one needs to know about it for the first time usually you know we used to talk about it in the ukoics to see it cheap executive wicket you know five days for the first time ever I've looked down and thought how's the CEO not steps in here this week three no but all these well around about a two-day in Perth which has cost the game a huge amount of money that's cricket Australia's broadcasters yeah huge amount of money people traveling yeah you're three and a love so the ashes have gone yeah I asked the CEO not steps in this we're just just by the way just make sure the way that the game's played these days it's always going to be around for anyway when Steve Smith said his into your Christmas Day saying that wicket is fluffy and it's going to take some serious skill.

11:31Furry, you said. Furry, sorry, furry, and it's going to be really hard for the bat. It's thatchy. If you said that, the CEO, you'd be like... Can we get back to picking this team? No, no, no, it needs to go... It needed to go down to the salon for a good wax.

11:47I like a Brazilian. There was a Brazilian right down the middle of the... It was green.

11:57Come on, let's pick this team. Cook, you're going first. I've got a subtle ploy as well. Brodie's in at eight, but you're at 11. I think I know what they're doing. I think they're trying to bankrupt the ACB. Cricket Australia, yeah, ACB. Who's the ACB? Australian cricket ball. That's it, you're right, you're right, ACB. England are trying to bankrupt them, so they've got no money to pay their players. Tactics, you see, that's right. Four years' time. Four years' time. Yeah, absolutely. This is all about forward. Get on to this. Let's just get forward planning. Bankrupt cricket Australia. They can't play the players well enough in the future.

12:30So they're all going to go to the franchise league. Leagues around the world. England will start winning in Australia. Will be loaded. They'll be broke. Good plan. Right, Cook, you're in first. Shall I go? Atherton? Atherton. Nasser's about. Well, just hold on to that one. Yeah, that's not the end of this year. Gower's still here. Should I go in three? Three. Gower? Gower's still here. Gower's not good. He's not been commentating. Yeah, not been commentating. Swanny. Oh, Swanny, we'll go two spinners. Agnew, shall we get Agnew in? Does he make it? Let's do it. Broad. Broad's in at number eight.

13:02Tough than late 11. Your coach. We haven't got one scene. Swanny, Swanny at number... We could play another spinny peak. Nice. If someone's going to have to keep... Nasser. Nasser can keep. I've seen Alan Lamb, has he worked here at all? No. Matt Pryor's been working. Matt Pryor's been working. I have seen Lammy though. He can go in. I'm definite. I'm definite. Finney. Has he been working? Definite. No. No, he hasn't been commenting. Bifi. He appeared on our podcast. Bifi. Bifi. Bifi at six. Oh, we got the old... We've got them by the bollocks here. I can tell you. What a team, is this? Yeah, but we haven't done their team yet.

13:41No. No, we haven't. Nicky Bonte. Mark Waugh. Yeah. Yeah. Mark Taylor. Mark Taylor. League. Let's beat Clark. We've got their league. Stephen Finney. We'll have some pace. Yeah. we've got booze in 11 there yes one should we get 20 in it yeah yeah got two spinners so we don't want to pitch like that's one can't go he's got to play gotta get an assurance that he'll play all right game if you're in this team you can't go home right so he's in that's not about saying you need we need a four and five though oh alarm no he's not what he worked on our podcast

14:19number four so there's been small but we'll have to know a podcast so you want that Piers Morgan is Morgan manager your coach Morgan manager yeah Morgan can you see every every range she's been a nice well will on there yeah if we if we don't need to spinach let's get it squad squad member yeah Alex Sartley squad probably won't play this week but maybe next week yeah just keep yourself fit just like you know on the health job you know you to put your arm in yeah well this is it the shame one legacy yeah I did it do you know what my whole age came back well how old do I'm coming up 60. Right, so I'm guessing a little bit higher.

15:11Yeah, but it was 77. And that's when you... The health checks are great, aren't they? I've come out great, absolutely fine, all that. Body fat, the lot, cholesterol, dah-dah-dah. Last thing it comes up, your heart age... That's right. 85? Yeah. I see. And then I read the small print, if you're over 74 years of age, all that stuff doesn't apply. Oh, don't bother coming Really you should be it's a great thing though that was really it just means that you know if something is flagged up Then you go and press then go and look at it. Well, it's no surprise. We won. He's a Huge effect on the field off the field and now he's gone upstairs.

15:53He's still having a huge effect. Yeah, I love But just let's all them get the hats don't so And that's his kids spoke really well they came on they came on fantastic yeah fantastic so this is a team that'll be playing Are we playing it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. You're the coach Dave. You've picked this team you're in challenge Alistair Cupp Michael Allison Michael Vaughan so nice top three and land are we having NASA doing I didn't ask doing never NASA or is he not sliding? I don't think he's made the squad is all I'm not telling him There's more give it a fuck It's a funny frigging. I had to do this before, I think.

16:34Yeah, you're good. Just be nice to him. Be nice. Don't let him kick off. Hello, Nass. How are you, mate? Merry Christmas. Hello, Nass. Merry Christmas. Looking for... Yeah, New Year's coming up. Looking forward to it. You in Sydney? Yeah. How the family? How the family? Family all right? Excellent. Excellent. Well, you know the test finished in two days. We're trying to get a sort of like a beer match organised and we were just saying... It's a big game. It's a big game. But so I'm afraid expecting 90 ,000. Yeah, we're expecting 90 ,000 commentators versus commentators, but I'm afraid you haven't made it again On this comment You haven't commentated on the reason I'm sorry, mate.

17:20I'm sorry. Listen have a great new year

17:25Oh, he's not happy. He's not happy again. I'm supposed to meet him this afternoon. Don't tell him you're the coach. No, I won't. Just keep it quiet. Anyway, this is the same. Beefy at five. Prior will go to six. Brodie. No, Swanee. Swan seven. Could he should bat? He should bat it all right, didn't she? No, she'll be nine. No, all right. Brodie's going to have to go seven. Swanee eight. I think you've got to leave. if if cats playing i think we need two left-timers so he'll leave swanny out because you're not sure he'll want to stay and play heartley play two left-timers alex harkley for swan yeah i think so we need an outfit oh i could do that yeah she's not playing she's great man so we need hardly in the same she'll get rid of swan yeah alex hardly let's have a look at their mob Let's have a quick data there.

18:17Quickly there, team. Aidan Langer. We're struggling. Mark Waugh. Where's Mark Taylor? He's not black. I've got him to show, though. Mark Tubby-Taylor at three. Ricky at four. Ricky at four. Mark Waugh at five. Waugh at five. Brayshaw at six. Jamie Bray... What about Blewett? Blewett at six. Actually, he's injured as well, so it'd be good for us. Blewett at six. Haddon. We've got a chance to be bats in that boot. Gilchrist. Book or Gilchrist. Gilchrist. Haddon. Haddon is a replacement. Yeah. Jesse Gillespie. Oh, Lehmann. He might have to coach. Which four of the six you're going for? So you've got Brett Lee at eight.

19:02Gillespie and McGrath. Yeah. Gillespie. McGrath. Brett Lee. They need a spinner. They need a spinner. Stuart Clarke. God, he's in the squad. Clarke, Lehmann in the squad. Fleming. Fleming

19:18We're getting how my dear Are we gonna beat them have you got any stats about we can be They need a spinner that no we're gonna we want a drive. You know we've got soft alone artly and myself I'm telling you like I thought technically sorry I think go ahead me let's get in the night before beefy tough no on there. Yeah, and then we go well I knew perhaps we could I see Perhaps we could play him in the tag is enough slackers have been asked for money Oh, yeah, if you're a ways behaviour. Yeah, he's a good drinker. They need a spinner, so we need a dusty one. If we get them on a dusty one, I think we can beat them.

19:50St Kilda Beach. There's a lovely little fish restaurant there. It's lovely there, really. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair.

20:03First time we've been together, lads. Yeah. For the whole trip. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. What did you get? Did you get any presents? No. Nothing you got nothing. No Nothing I got I flew in on Christmas day got a terrorist chocolate orange Then I it's gone missing in my room. I don't know whether I could have a few much to drink and I remember eating it or Hopefully didn't sit on it Used to get a selection box an orange and a sixpence and a piece of coal Mm-hmm. Why would a cold I think it would I think we're just tradition a piece of coal Oh, yeah. So it'd always be warm. Sixpence. Little sixpence.

20:44Yeah. Nice. Selection box. Oh. I've got some stats here. The last time England won an Ashes Test match in Australia, 2011, who was the Prime Minister of the UK? Boris Johnson with Lord Mayor. No, the other fella. Lord Mayor. David Cameron. David Cameron. Very good. I knew that. I knew that. I said... Since then, we've seen four Summer Olympics, including London 2012 yeah Prince William and Kate got married three months later mm-hmm the iPad was less than a year old the IPL was in its third year of existence England were yet to men's team we had to win a World Cup we won in Barbados in I played here 92 i didn't play here i was 12 yeah but you lost yeah yeah we did man city we had to win a premier league and sir alex was still in charge of united jesus the top film in the uk box office was gone with the wind the king's speech oh how old was jacob battle how old was he he's 22.

22:04seven right seven and he's just turned out and knocked one off straight away I think that was at Noosa oh let's go on to Noosa let's go I mean come we've all been on trips where you get a few days off yeah you're allowed to have a jolly aren't you well listen you know I mean I think you're the best person to ask about well I've forgotten my name on a couple of occasions and I've forgotten where i've lived on a couple of occasions but but never both together that is quite spectacular i mean fair play than that you know what about that whatever the guy filming was and what did he say to me said you want an uber to the net that was a bit naughty of him oh very ordinary oh yeah yeah who is the book i don't know who is well you must be able to find him if he shoved it up on social media well you're gonna find him coach is very ordinary well and then you reckon Ducky was a bit unlucky because I bet you he was one of the first to leave well well I reckon he's gone on the street probably trying to get home early about the rest of the lads are still it's fine you would speak to everybody that was there they were fine there and they were there.

23:28He said they were absolutely fine. Mixed in with the locals, played football on the beach with the locals, it's on the downtime. The downtime. But the only issue was the optics of it. The first time I saw that picture of, like, at midday, a tray of beers going to a cricket team, the optics of it doesn't look great, does it? So when you look at it in isolation, you just... I saw it on the paper and I was like, that that's there will be something something writing about it and I think when you're 3-0 down or 2-0 down as they were that stage should you put yourself in that position well you're right I mean and also that I guess you start looking at the planning for this trip and it was a year ago that they booked the news the trip you have to put these hotels along way in the park so they managed to book news but not like a but they didn't manage to book the like and didn't manage to prepare for that first test by playing on a bouncy pitch and they didn't prepare for the second test which was a pink ball game by playing a pink ball game so when you put it all into the equation of your management and their their i think this management group have got to be accepting that they've got to start to realize that a bit of the noise from outside was was fair noise it wasn't ultra critical because we were all saying it months and months ago that we were worried about the preparation and they've come here and not prepared and it's gone passion guess what three or four games into the series they look like they're the more game ready now I look more hardened I just I just when you start looking at little bits of it in isolation it doesn't look like an elite performance environment in terms so yeah and I I have a confusion like David Saker a brilliant bowling coach like brilliant bowling coach like worked us loads in 2009 10 11 he turned up on day one of the series what you how are you operating like you've got a coach doesn't know the bowlers like you know you're never changing on the bowling coach has gone to dubai yeah to play in the il just doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense does it so like a guy if you're a bowling coach you you've got to get the trust of the players you've got to know the character of the players and how they operate so like you're not changing like Casts his technique in the middle of a test match but when he goes he has a bad session he sat there at lunch If you don't know the bloke you don't know how to get the best out of it I'm thinking that's not right is it that's not right No, well the attention to detail that this team have a lack of has cost is remarkable and absolutely It's cost them and they will regret that because this Australian side They're a decent sub of my words are there for the take oh they really are there for the sake Can you just look at someone said, oh, England got lucky here?

26:10And I went, no, they didn't get lucky here. They've been lucky all series. Because no Cummings, no Hazelwood. Lions now injured, didn't play the first two. Smith missed in Adelaide. Kawaja comes in. They've had. If you'd have said, if we'd have done this show in June, July, back in the UK, and we'd have all been sat round our lovely table near Manchester, and we'd have all said, by the way, Cummings will only play one test. Hazelwood won't play a test. Lions are going to get injured. We'll hardly have an impact. Smith will miss a test. What do you reckon the score's going to be? We would all have said...

26:42Not hammer them, because it's not that easy to do that. But all of us, and I reckon most people around the globe would have gone, England will win that series. I think if Australia had played Stark, Hazelwood, Cummings and Lyons for five test matches, we could all sat here and go and... Trinkie. They're a great side. They're a great bowling attack. That matches up to any bowling attack ever to play the game of cricket, I think. Match is up to it. I'm not saying it's better. It's like matches up. It's a brilliant volunteer. I think it is so and you know what they lost to that you go You're not fair play just run into a side of it, but they haven't well that's when that went when you heard Comments like you know we haven't won here in 15 years you absolutely It's an achievement to win a test match in Australia, but then you put wait a minute The side that England have in the talent that England have and then you look at Australia's that have got some bloody good players but they're not anywhere near some of the old Australian side, so But how big an achievement is it to win a two-day game when the Bulls are zipping all over?

27:39Our coach should be thinking that first Test match should have been won, 100 for one, cruising the game and disintegrate, should be going to Sydney 2-2. That's how it should be. They should have won that game. They contrived to lose it from a great position, 100 for one. Yeah, sets up the whole trip then if they do that. Snick over Adelaide. What about selection? Can I just say one thing quickly? You're talking about the optics at Noosa. What, instead of the beers, get on the optics? Oh, my God. You hear always.

28:19Just on selection as well, you've been telling us for the last three years, the pictures have changed in Australia, that they've nipped all over. And I was I was like, I just don't think they will gamble that Australia because because of what's happened lose mark You know all these people coming over I thought they'll play on flatter wickets So I thought that you know pace was important but actually come in the series pace has not been important at all So as a selection like as a selection panel where you for the last three years the ball the pitches have nipped around But England have taken a side for like 10 years ago So 17-18 when we were here last time we had a bowling attack broad Anderson works Stokes Stokes wasn't there, sorry, but Tom Currie.

29:00Actually, that bowling attack this time would have been outstanding. That's what I say about the attention to detail. I heard Darren Lehman give an interview just a few days ago. And that was absolutely... It actually pissed me off when I heard him say... He's a county coach. So he's the coach of Northampton. Correct, I was there. And I was like... So Darren Lehman, not only is he an ex-Australian Test cricketer, wonderful player who knows these conditions more than anybody, He's coaching within our system, so he's got players that surely are on England's radar, one or two. There won't be many at Northampton.

29:33And you're kind of going, what, so this England management haven't even thought to buffer, can we just have a lunch with you and pick your brains of not only the county game and players, but what is Australia like these days? I've been here for eight years. They must have done that, though, my. But they didn't. He just said it. No, but I mean, not necessarily with him, but surely they've got eyes and ears everywhere. But, Phil, why aren't they... I've been coming here for eight years. Yeah. I didn't have a conversation with them, just to give my... Look, when you give information, you take it or leave it.

30:05But I think it's very, very important when you're in a leadership role that you get information, and then you use that information how you want. You decide whether you want to take that information or you want to take that critique, whatever it may be. You get all the info, you get all the criticism or things that you do differently. You spew it out. And then you go, no, not using that. not but you've got to get it yeah you have to have it and to think that they've not like room people up or ask people for a bit of information about they might run many other people I'm not too sure but Darren Lehman who's like staggered by yeah we're not even the players in North Ends is it he would have what it when you're a county coach you watch a hell of a lot of cricket so just watching other players from other sides thinking well he'd you know he might go well in Australia.

30:46Yeah I think one criticism of it as well. Not the optics? No. I think another criticism is that they haven't, it's been sort of their way or the highway hasn't it you know which is great you know I mean because it keeps you driving forward and this is what we're going to do and we're all focused and we're all sort of sitting on the bus going that way but as you said why then didn't they just sort of you know well because they felt that they knew yeah and they knew best and they they felt that this this way of playing this way of preparing it worked in pakistan yeah it worked in new zealand and they thought um you can kind of understand they thought that they were onto something yeah this you know it's casual isn't it it's a casual approach rock up and we play and we're very good at doing that that's what they believe well under the the ultimate pressure which hasn't he said he's got it wrong yeah yeah yeah that's great to accept you know but it's it's now this management team you're looking forward um will they stay should they stay and if they do stay what do they need to need to do differently and who makes i'm intrigued as to who makes the decision whether they do or they don't who makes that decision once yeah because he's made up of the chairman and the chief executives 18 counties yeah plus MCC I think yeah so who actually is it the chief executive who jumps he will act well the chief exec well Rob keys the boss of the cricket yes so Rob keys in in charge of Baz McCullum Ben Stokes and the management so I guess he will be in charge of the decision on the coach but who's in the decision on Rob well it has to be the CEO chief agent Richard Gould and then the chairman Richard Thompson I mean I wrote it last week I'm staggered that an ECB board I've been raised from Brandt is fantastic she's brilliant for the game does a tremendous job but Ebony's the the only cricket expert on that cricket in board at the ECB so she's the one that I presume on any board you have you know specialists within the boardroom she's a cricket specialist so i guess it'll be eminem that'll have to present to the board um what's happened here she's the one that can challenge the likes of rob key because i guess that if she's on the board she's the one telling all the board members what rob may have done right or wrong so it'll be down to everything i'm wary that at our club at lancashire we've a chairman and a chief exec who don't know you're going to be chair well it's moving on no no i don't want to be chair but do they have a decision a cricket making decision because they are they're not they're not cricket you've got to have cricket people making that I know Strauss got a load of criticism for putting his plans forward he got a load of criticism that's another thing that just racks me off in English cricket so English cricket you look at look we've lost again here so English cricket put Andrew Strauss in into a position did a great job as as the director then he left and he came back to do a high performance review on the whole game so he had brains like Brailsford Simon Timpson who was helped set up Man City I think Clive Woodward was asked about the game of cricket in the UK did a load of research why would you ask Clive Woodward about cricket in the you well it was more it was a it was all these sports sporting brains and structure what what did English cricket need to do to move forward anyway they produced a report I don't get that I liked Because they basically went to all the different sports of what high performance was in their sports and and Andrew Strauss got more together They weren't gonna tell Andrew Strauss about believe bowling out swing or playing a forward defense but it was more the structure of the game and They produced a report and this ECB just went now not having it So if you've got a high performance review on the game Which would have cost a huge amount of money to put together and then you just put it in the bin and go Don't be surprised if this happens and by the way four rounds of cookable ball games last year Hard to get a result because the Cookerborough ball didn't do as much, so you bowled more spin.

34:54The 75 to 80 mile an hour scene bowler wasn't effective. Except Sam Cook. Yeah, it wasn't effective. So guess what, the county game, because the links between the England team and the county game, I think you've said it on TV this week, it's gone because Rob Key and his management have kind of said to County Cricket, piss off, we're not interested. Whether they like it or not, and they probably won't like me for saying it, but that's what they've done. So the links between the whole game has gone. So guess what County Cricket has done now? We're not having a Cucreborough ball game. Alex Stewart hated it at Surrey.

35:27They're pretty powerful within the game. So the four rounds of Cucreborough ball game now, which is what I think is preparing England players to play here in the future, it's all been scrapped. You kind of got all the links. It's all broken. Do you look at this era? Obviously, it started with an absolute bang. I think they win 85-90 % of their first year. And then since there, it's gone down to, I think, they're up at 30 % win ratio this year. After over four years, do you think it's run its course? Because of that, that relaxed taking pressure off works brilliantly to start with, and that's basically what they've tried to do.

36:06And now it's not. Well, there's got to be consequence, and that's perhaps what they've got wrong. But I don't think it'll be binned in Test Match Cricket, the aggressive approach. Forget basball, just forget that word. But the aggressive approach, I think supporters enjoy it. It's good to see, good to watch. It just needs fine-tuning. We all know that every now and again you've got to suck it up and you've got to just get on the ropes and wait your turn to come out and start playing shots again. We've just said gung-ho all the way. So if you fine-tune that and play according to a situation with every chance, you've got to know them all when you come out and write, now we go again.

36:45And I think we've got the players to do it, particularly Stokes. I just think they need to be more mature as a team. That's it. Just maturity. A bit more savvy of an aggressive approach. You're not going to whack Mitchell Stark all over the show. No. But, you know, you get your ones and twos, go up four and over. Then you've got your chance to play against somebody else who you can go after. Carey's been great. When we've come down the pitch and advanced down the pitch, he's come up to the stunt so he drags you back in and Jack Russell still thinks he's too deep he said Jack says he's too deep behind the stunts what is in when he stood up stood up so he so he stood up to the seamer he's too deep and he has to go bang bang and he says MS Dorney yeah we'll be right up to the stunt and just go boom well Emma Stone is the only keeper I've ever seen where he seems to catch the ball as it's going back towards it so most keepers have to give a bit and then go back Emma Stone, he kind of meets the ball and it gets...

37:43He's been brilliant as Kerry, but, you know, you'd listen to somebody like Jack Russell, straight away he said he's a bit too deep because he's got to go back before he comes forward and that split second means you're back. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair.

38:02Do you think these players will still be backed? People like Crawley... I think he's done well, Crawley. He's done well, but over a period of time he's averaging 30. I think Crawley has... He has, he's played nicely. He's played nicely. I think he might be sitting there scratching his head going, what the hell was I doing? Just keep whacking away outside. Well, technically, in defence, he's got a stiff front leg. He's a very tall lad. In defence, he's got a stiff front leg, so he's up here, the ball's down there, and he can't search it, so his hands come out looking for it. So you watch him play defensively, and he's tall.

38:34He's a tall batter, and he would bend his front leg. So he bends his front leg and his head's going that way. and so he's over the ball he's controlling the shot so Zach's he's looking for it and nicks it I think we should I think we'll folks should go meet Zach with some popcorn right take him some popcorn and we sit him down and we just show him his innings in the second innings at Adelaide yeah and we just sit with him and go Zach that's the way you play yeah that is beautiful but do you back him again yes but he's but I'm just saying he's average but this is the whole thing now at the end of series he's averaged 30 for 60 or test matches or is he gonna he's gonna keep averaging 30 do I say you think the penny's true no I think there's a player in there so hundreds he's the best player I've ever seen damage 30

39:25this team need the bad carrot and stick you know the carrot and the stick well I think they get too much carrot and no one's willing to give you a good cop bad Yeah, they actually all need now sitting down and just saying right lads you've had a you've had a good time of it now But guess what's gonna happen in test cricket for us to be the number one team in the world the top six all of you You've all got to have a joke before team because if we want to be the best team in the world the number one team We're gonna get there unless or 2010 let me guess what you all did probably prior was averaging 40 around that time In the same all our top six.

39:59Yeah, so is that your job? He's just go runs and your job was an opening batter you know I'm not looking at you right because that's naturally going to be quite high because of the way that you played it's all about your numbers now yeah so you've got to average over 40 so in the next two years up until the end of 27 the Ashes series we expect you to average 45 from now until then yeah and that's what we're gonna judge you on same for Ben Duckett same forever bats at number three Joe Root naturally will and will have exactly Harry Brooke exactly the same Harry we love you you're flamboyant you're our star quality player that can take the game away from you but we need you to average over 40 and you've got to do that off your own back you can't tell you everything you know the made where does your job into this where does the what i need he's a good player in nuts yeah well you know the likes of you know i mean dom sibley will get laughter but you know those kind of players better player than when he played for england yeah you know i like patel at leicestershire i think he's a good batter top of the order he's a good good opening batter so they've got to start looking at all the players we can't just have a spinner oh what's happened what's happened ahmed they've got they've backed i feel sorry for show it enough yeah but they've backed themselves into a corner with show everybody and i don't know what's been going on back you know behind the scenes or how he's bowling in the next but what's he doing there they lost what's he doing there he doesn't play i know you just think about it like the reason we played jacks on a spinning wicket Adelaide because you batted well at Brisbane.

41:27And again, you can't do anything else but that. Yeah, that is an mistake. That's a mistake. Laurie, what did you... Oh, just the numbers you were talking about. Yeah, go on then, Loz. So Travis Head, 437 at 54. Right. Carey, 291 at 48. Right. Crawley, 256 at 32. But if you take the pair out, he's averaging 43. But he's averaging what he averages. Yeah, that's right. That's what he averages. Joe Root, 234 at 33. Harry Brook, almost the same. 33 average. Stokes, 22. Labashane, 24. Uzi, 30. Mitchell Stark, 30, but he was averaging 50 leading to this test. Wetherill, 20. Jamie Smith, 19. Steve Smith, 45.

42:05Bowlers. Stark, 26 at 17. Kast, 19 at 25. Boland, 16 at 23. Stokes, 13 at 21. Some low numbers there. Tongue, 12 at 18. Knees at 10 at 18. And Jofra, 9 at 27. Gus Atkinson, six at 47. There you go. Well, yeah, the batting numbers are low. The pitch, which is, like we said before, the series, they're always going to do a bit. Yeah. That's what happens. When did they change the Cookerborough? It was after you. You changed the ball. You're full. You've missed it all around. Just a minute. You've got your name in the bar here. I've admitted it. Cookster, you've got your name down here. I know. I went to go see it.

42:48Brought your family. Great. 244 on that with a few Z's beyond you proud I mean to get double centuries element effort will change the course of a pitch and the ball in the more I Like Australian, it is. I was exhausted when I got mine.

43:17But if you go back to show him Bashir, three-year journey for this moment, and actually they bottled it, by not paying. Because he's never bowled great to get in the England side, but he's bowled well in the England side. He had ten first-class wickets playing for England. I got him in as well. You know, the over, the over he bowled to me is the reason he got picked. What? He bowled an over. The first time we'd ever seen him bowling over at Chelmsford at me and there's two of them I played a mister and so she saw that and that's why he's it So I've actually picked him on a bit to let it picked him on a clip of six balls.

43:51I promise you he did They can't look at his figures because he went north 130 who else we got well you've got Jack Leach Jack Leach is the best spinner in the UK Dawson and if you at least have been given the same opportunities as a show over the last two, three years. Alec and Jack have arrived here with 200-plus test match. Look, he's not Bisham Betty, but he'd have been a seasoned, hardened pro coming to Australia. I think whatever happens in the next four years, he's going to have to arrive here in four years' time with hardened pros. Absolutely. With some work in the legs as well. Just play cricket, will you?

44:26That's all I want him to do. Play the game that you're paid to play. It's your job. This tour now, if you're hoping, in four years, People like Jamie Smith, Harry Brook, Gus Atkinson, probably Kars as well. Tungy. Roach, 39. I'm not sure he's making that. But those kind of players... You want him back here? Yeah. Gawai just played. He loves the game, so I think there's a chance. I'm just saying those kind of players who have experienced what they've experienced the last six weeks, hopefully they will toughen them up to realize, God, you've got to be bloody tough to come out here and win. And also, if you go back to the first two games where Ben won the toss, I reckon he's lying in his bed going, why didn't Abol?

45:07Because England are a chasing team. Adelaide over, they looked a better team back in second. They seem to like the number and play better. Here, clearly this was a bit of a lottery, but chasing's always a better chance on a pitch like this. I reckon he's lying in his bed thinking, why didn't Abol? Just a better chasing team. And also, I suppose that third innings at Perth, where we know how hard the third innings is. Australia had the third innings here and they blew that because they're their weakest things, they're bang. But then having said that... You're not quite sure what the number is. No, but having then said that, you know, at Perth, I was thinking exactly the same.

45:41You know, you've then won the toss, you've got your five seamers, this is the way we play, win the toss, you have a bowl, don't you? But then having said that, they still managed to drag themselves into a lead of 100. Yeah, they still sort of done better, but they are... Amazing position. Amazing position. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair. So the Aussies, where do we sit with the Aussie team? Well, they need an opener, whether all... Would you stick with him for Sydney or would you... Yeah, I would stick with him for Sydney. I don't know why you'd change for one, because whatever happens there...

46:19No, you would. No, you'd stick with him. Stick for that and then that's five games you can give a... You probably think it might be Usman's last test match in Sydney. Right, yeah. It might be a good way for him to see. It'd be a great way to go when the Ashes are at your home ground. They've got some good young players coming through. Campbell Callaway's a good player. Molly Peake's a good player. I think Matt Redshaw is the most improved player. Constance. Constance will have a chance again. Is it McSweeney? McSweeney got a double hundred against. McSweeney's a good player, yeah. What's going to be interesting for me about yours is when the big lads go.

46:48What have they got? As you said earlier, that line-up is probably one of the best in the business ever. Yes in 27 in the the one thing that this Australian team They don't have on their CV is winning in the UK You know, so they won a World Cup in India incredible if one Ashley series beating India I'm beating India away, which is I think the hardest challenge of them all I think Cummins and Stark in particular will be there in 27 Hazel would you know, he's had so many injuries. We'll have to wait and see but I guess Maybe the line won't be, but they've got Tom Murphy, they've got Rocacelli. So I think they've got a little bit of depth in their spin department.

47:28Yeah, but the seamers, the seamers. Xavier Bartlett will be around, Jaya Richardson if he's fit, he's going to be around. So they're the kind of two just underneath. Difficult to replace. Have they got anything like lightning pass? Viddler. Loza, you know a lot about him. I've watched him in the Sheffield Shield final. He's not very tall. He's probably Jaya Richardson's height, about 183. And he skids them through. He bowls at 183? No, his height's 183. He's in the mid one. Sorry, could we? 145 plus. So he's quitting. Beardman. Marley's good. Big, tall string bean. Nice scene. There's one other who bowls Thunderbolts.

48:03Who's never fit. Oh, my God. Who's here? Lancey Morris. Yeah, we'll see. Oh, yeah, he's out with an injury at the moment. I can't imagine. He hurt his back. We'll see. He might get his body right. Yeah. There's three in here. I think they've got one or two underneath this team, haven't they? Yeah. They might be OK. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I've got to say. Big shout. Four years time, Josh Tung, man of the series. England winning the Ashes. Four years? Write that down. Well, we all do. How old are we going? 30? Man of the... Well, in four years time? What about in 27? We haven't won an Ashes series before since 15.

48:36All right, all right. 27. 27. Two years time. Two years time. Probably should have played the first game as well. Yeah, why didn't... Yeah. Look at Kars. I mean, Kars has got better and better. I mean, that's how he... He did it up. When Kars plays, he needs a couple of matches to get going. Well, it's looked like that. That's exactly that. But, I mean, he's run in, hasn't he? I don't like him with the new ball. No. I think he's good when he comes on first change with the older ball. I think with the new ball, he's not a tone setter. I think, yeah. And I'll tell you a ball that I want to see back in this England team.

49:07Ollie Robinson. Right. Because we've never replaced Anderson and Broad. He's the only one that we have anywhere near, particularly to a Stuart Broad. Why has he disappeared? Well, he's clearly done something in India on that tour that this management didn't like. He played one game and whatever he did, I think Baz and Ben have got a nap, don't like that game. He's too good a bowler for us to just put in the script. He'd also bowled Ospin, wasn't he, in a Test match because he wouldn't fit enough to bowl. He's clearly a different character, but you've got to be able to manage someone like that.

49:41Just one individual game and he's too good. I think another thing for this team, talking about attention to detail, is actually all their seamers record, apart from the Archers, bowling to left-handers. I think Kars averages 24 to right-handers and 40s. We got that last. Yeah, 40s and 20s, basically, to the lefties versus the righties. So actually, just as a pure details bit of it, like Brodie realised a couple of years before facing Australia, they had six left-handers, he couldn't bowl to left-handers, went around, improved, went around. I think as a big learner for people like Kars, Atkinson, you know, had to really improve bowling left-hand.

50:15Look, I mean, it's just, we bowled, how many times did I say short and wide? To Tarothead. I'm intrigued on this, the coaching side of things and who talks to who. So, Cookie is one that you'd think, you know, they would be into him and say, what do you think? And Stuart Broad's probably another, Anderson. Very recent players who've just left the scene. Australia are very good at that. Australia are very good at getting their has-beens and bringing them back into the fold a little bit, aren't they? Just getting little nuggets and what have you off of them. This team to move forward with this management, the management have to accept that they need to be different.

51:02A lot of what they've done, which has been some good stuff, but then if you want to improve as a leader in a group, you've got to accept that things have to change slightly. I always go back to when Ben got the captain, they won a few games he said they don't want an alistair cook style player so it doesn't surprise me at all that they probably never have rung him up no never they probably you know stewart's just been out of the obviously the dresser i'm sure they do speak to stewart because they're on those friendly terms but i get a sense that they are not interested in anybody that doesn't speak their language and their language is i'll be honest with you i think some of their press conference has been utter pathetic nonsense you know all this positive positive positive it's like you must always be positive and they've had mixed messages because of it and it's been a bit embarrassing with some of those three days where they had the three coaches yeah it was like it was like oh no it's car crashing that's what if they want to move forward together i i'm i'm not i'm in for getting rid of people who would be drawing well i'm in for getting people to go and you've got to improve you know a player the players need to improve and the management needs to improve if they're willing to do that I agree with I he's gone next he's gone next just sit him down and look go improving the God do things slightly differently and I accept I'd agree and it's it's that accepting that might be difficult because I do get a sense that they think they're always right the other thing is it's it's it and down and ask them right now what do you think don't don't tell them you ask no what What do you think?

52:32You've got to grow yourself. You can't just keep being told by coaches all the time. Is that just eating, like growing yourself? How do you grow yourself? So would you keep... You've got to understand your own game, Mike. Come on, go round the table. Are you changing? Are you changing or not? I want to see Sydney first. I think if Sydney goes... I want to see them play a game of cricket that's a normal game of cricket and win. This wasn't a normal game of cricket. No, it's not. This was perfect for what they do. Oh, just quickly. I want to see a batter pitch. Just thought of something. Sorry, Mike.

53:02Sorry, Phil, go on. Jacob Bethel. Yeah, played nice. Played nicely, moved his feet. Got out to the ball there and drove a couple of nice ones, got right back there and knocked a few through third man. Just, I'm just going to carry that a little bit. Sorry, Mike. No, he did play nicely. Not at number three, but I must add. It was perfectly set up for you. You know, it was a run chase. It's playing what he's used to, isn't it? I'm playing a run chase. This is, it was... Until I see him until I say not judging until I see him in a first innings when he can blow this But we all know he's a good player.

53:37Yeah, but he's got a guy plays a rebel First time I say I've not seen him before I'd be quite excited for what I saw I thought his footwork his positional play was fine. I've got 40 odd and that really helped us

53:53Let's just let's see this

53:59i thought i liked it i thought bethel had his hair cut and grow and grow the foot and off yeah no i'm glowing you see yeah i like that i like what they tried to do there well i just want to see this team on a on a week where the pitch is a bit better and you have to play like they're never going to play the test cricket that we kind of brought up playing but play a a good game like an Adelaide week when the pitch is bloody good for bag I'm going to be flat after what we've seen it one would have been fitting the second in is that the SC do I should it would probably won like it but surely after what we just watched here the SCG guy I was yeah we're going for talking about thunderstorms aren't they oh you'll get some rain in Sydney right you know you know Do you know Sydney is second behind Manchester?

54:48That's right. In the history of Test Creek, more days rained off. Where we are now, Melbourne, is the greatest city. It is absolutely fabulous, and it reminds me so much of Manchester, but with the weather. It's very similar to Manchester. Eating places, bars, restaurants, classy, northern quarter, edgy, Fitzroy edgy. This is like Old Trafford. Well, you could put Old Trafford at this side, couldn't you? This is enormous. So you think, is Melbourne your favourite place? Absolutely. What? No. Absolutely. Sydney's better than Melbourne. No, I'm staying here. I'm not going to Sydney till the last minute.

55:24I'm staying in Melbourne. Look, bless. Look, there's a load coming in. Sorry, it's finished. It's finished. The tours. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair. Hey, what about the Warnie Museum downstairs with all his old memorabilia? It's fantastic. You haven't given us a demo today, Phil. Right. I want you to give us a demo. Laurie, can you give me back the way? Yeah, sure. Outer face Shane Warne when he's bowling around the wicket. We don't see much spin these days, that's it, lads. No, well, that's another one. Just like the chairs everywhere. What's the most important thing about batting as a right-hander, Phil, when Shane Warne comes around the wicket and there's a massive omelette outside the leg stump?

56:08What do you need to do? Well, what I found was balance. You had to be balanced at the crease. You found it, didn't you? Yeah, I did find it. You had to be balanced at the crease. And you've got to get your legs slightly inside it. You don't want to get round it, but you've got to get something in front of it. So if it's bowling round the wicket, you're bowling round the wicket. Hold on. Have you got those two tapes of me? Are you going to be overlaying these on top of it, yeah? Yeah? Yeah, you will do, yeah? Are you the producer of the show now? Well, no, no. There's no problem doing this, and then they're not going to bleed and play them.

56:41Come on now, Teddy. Come on, Teddy. What are you thinking? What are you thinking? How are you going to score? I'm thinking survive. I don't want to be clipping through there at the omelette. I don't want to be Clippington's, anything like that. If I'm going to get down, get low, head over the ball, knock it on the head, little one there, if you fancy. But how I played it was... Oh, shit. But you survived. I survived. Not out. And then the second one, I invented the karate kick. It was a full ball. Hadn't even landed in the omelette. And I've decided to go, hey-ya!

57:28Why didn't you hit it? I don't know. I didn't hit it, Mike. I could have just whacked it. Hey, hey-ya! Hey-ya! Hey-ya! Hey-ya! Not out, by the way. Eh? Not out, both ones. Not out, no. And then I forced him to come back over the wicket. Yeah. And I think that that was my first run in Test Match Cricket, which was... I spotted the flipper. Well done. And I just... And off we go for a long and illustrious career with Teddy in my hand. We've got some tools. Right, is that it? Well done. Well done, Fulman. Magnificent. Laurie, come and join us. We've got a few community questions to finish. Oh, here we go.

58:08Here we go. There we go, it's the footage. I've watched this so many times. There you go. Row the wicket into the omelette. See? LAUGHTER It's all about balance. It's all about... Look at the size of my helmet. Excuse me. Excuse me. I think that's hit me on that ribcage. And I think this is the... Heels, they're all pissing themselves. They go, hi-yah! LAUGHTER LAUGHTER That's the karate kid. You even had Ciappelli laugh on top of the... I know. I thought it was that shot. Why did you play? I don't know. That's nicely played, though. I like this one, though. Off the pitch. I think this is the first one.

58:48This is the first one. Shot! Nice. Bloody Glenn, that's Glenn. That was going to four. Very good. Oh, well, there you go. Very good. Come on, let's finish with some community questions. Come on. Laurie, you're in on this as well. OK. what's your favorite moment from 2025 on and off the field I'll stop good Oasis oh sorry I'll think about this talk this is the New Year show sorry apologies I'm going to waste this is come back magnificent and I'm going cricket the run chase at heading against India fantastic duck it's such a yeah yeah that's mine they could take a leaf out of how they played that the boys like because they just picked and choose when to go didn't they mature they were mature right so i'm gonna go with that and come back to me come back to me what do you mean you can't go with what i've gone with all right okay well you haven't you've just slipped i can't think at the moment bumble my onions coming through brilliantly in the allotment which i've never done before You gave Warty some, didn't you?

59:59I gave Warty some onions. I mean, they were an absolute triumph, were the onions. Cricket-wise, just summer and being down at Lanks. And I'm only an hour from Headingley, one of my favourite places, up to Durham. Watch county cricket. I just, just nice summer watching county cricket. And I said... You do that every year? I do, but I like it. But I'd much rather it be played in summer, county cricket, rather than in winter like we do now. I don't think it's working, that, to play cricket in winter. In April and September? Yeah, well, end of March. Once you've got the gritter on, it's not bad. Fine.

1:00:44I like county cricket. I'm a big devotee of county cricket. Cook? I've got the start of the show. Oh, lovely. Off the field. Start of the show. To being invited on here, I never thought I'd make it. I've enjoyed that. No, I've enjoyed it. And on the field. That's a good show, that cookie, the show. Because we're giving so much joy. And do you know what? I'm going to go for Gil's batting. Tearfully, yeah. I think Gil's batting was unbelievable. Just watching someone at the top of his game. I thought that was... He was good. Laurie? Hedy's 100 in Perth and Kerry's 100 in Adelaide because I'm a South Australian and the highlight off field was yesterday What a day we had wasn't it sensational on the river everyone laughing drinking the parrots on the shoulder macaws on the shoulder That was my highlight.

1:01:37Yeah, I've got one. I've got coming back here coming back here was nice Made my debut here all them years ago and then wandered back here full house, wasn't it? Not for long enough, was it? Not for long enough. I wanted more. I'll tell you what, they've had 186 ,000 people in two days. In England, we were tops. We'd have had 100 ,000 over a test match. We need bigger stadiums. We do need bigger stadiums. Well, for 2027, there you go. Start building a few. The building game, are you in the building game? Not bad. 370 ,000 came through the gates last year. India, at this test. Yeah, 300 so did you know they're making a lot of money?

1:02:22That's a lot of money. They're losing. They're losing. No, but it's the protection. It's money they never had. They've never had it. They've never had it. They've never had it. You'll never miss it. Never miss it. Right, here we go. What you most looking forward to? 2026 on and off the field. Wow, I needed some help. I'll start. Off the field, Sheffield Wednesday getting your answer. oh sorry my first thought was football yeah yeah York City to win promotion to League two Accrington Stanley to get in the playoffs just keep bubbling York City in the National League up against Forest Green up Forest Green yeah we're a bit I love them.

1:03:10Carlisle, Rochdale. Mark Hughes manages Carlisle. I know he does. So that's, yeah, football. Arsenal win the league. On the field. Yeah, Gooner. Gooner. Yeah, little Jack, he'll be happy. What are we on there? Off the field. On and off the field, what are you looking forward to? 26. 26, still being here. Waking up every morning. Waking up every morning. So that's what you're looking forward to? Absolutely. With me dawning. Oh, lovely. What about on the field? Oh, I don't care. Fair enough. What was it? Hawthorne in the AFL Grand Final. What? Hawthorne? Yeah, out here. They'll be out here in September.

1:03:48Really? Brisbane are the team to beat. We'll knock them off. Who? You'll beat Brisbane? Hawthorne will knock off Brisbane. Have the season started already? No, no. April. How do you know they're going right? Because they played well our season. And we've got good young players coming through. Have you? And off the field, just my two boys. They've had a couple of really good days in Melbourne. 15, 13. I'm looking forward to seeing them continue to grow as young men. Got him a guitar, didn't you? Christmas? The wife bought the guitar. I just paid for it. Cookie? I'm looking forward to... We're going away after Sydney for a few days with the kids.

1:04:21Don't know yet, haven't decided that. In Australia? I want to go skiing again. I want to go skiing again. I'm looking forward to that off the field. And on the field, I'm looking forward to... what happens with this side. I'm intrigued to know whether it's the same leadership playing the same way or a different way, or they say, do you know what, Stewie, come and get involved, or something like that. I'm intrigued to see what happens. No, that's a great show. 60th year next year for me. Oh, a party. And it's going to be a big one. Is it? Yeah. Big party? No, no, no, no, all year. LAUGHTER I'm having it all year.

1:04:58Can I bring something to your attention? Yes. What's going to be different from any other year? LAUGHTER You seem to party a lot. No, and if you've got any, because I'm trying to take bits and pieces from everyone here, because I'm going to be doing a lot, so if you can think of something, your best thing... I'll give you that. Your best thing, your best place you've been on holiday, your best thing you'd like to do, and I'm taking all bits and pieces from everyone. I'd like to see you ski. And then, hey, I was in the jump. Who did the jump? I did the jump. I can ski like a France Clammer. I did not know that.

1:05:31How did you go and jump? How far did you jump? Seven metres. LAUGHTER It was more of a plot than a jump. How was it? Was it? You watched exactly. I got on and I've gone down, I've gone down like that. And I got on, put my goggles down, and then you go... You get on and you go... LAUGHTER And that was it. LAUGHTER I presume you didn't win, Phil. No, first out. I forgot you've done every celebrity show. Oh, yeah, he's done them all. Right, last one. New Year's resolutions.

1:06:14I've got... I'm going to do seven minutes of Tai Chi every day. Oh, I started that with a... Yeah, dragon. Yeah, dragon. The ball, the pony. My mum teaches Tai Chi. No way! I didn't know. I did, but yeah, she starts... Running the house. I'm gonna do seven minutes every morning. I've got I've got the app. Well, I got it I downloaded it. I think I did it. I used to do it in West Indies Used to do it in West Indies. It's not that wasn't the only Only thing you did over there so Yeah, well, there you go. You have the ball And then we have yeah, and then you stroke the pony up and Pony stroke look it's well.

1:06:59There you go get started. Let's see. No lovely Is that mean you're officially old now if you do Tai Chi? I don't know that. I think it's very good for you, Alistair. Very good. Select weight. Check me. Very, very good. Yeah, so that's my resolution. Seven minutes every day, as soon as I wake up, bit of Tai Chi. I'm going to do dry-ish January. That means a day off a week. Well, dry-ish. and Lancashire to win the second division to get back up there and be a cricket club again. With Captain Jimmy. Yeah, I don't think he'll be far off. I think Lancashire's got a great chance. 26. Resolutions? I'm going to do, similar to Bumble, dry January.

1:07:52Cookie? I'm going to spend less time on my mobile phone. Oh, love that. I reckon you could judge that, can't you? I bet there's an app where you can just say if I can take it like 10 % off it and I'm gonna try and get as close to three hours and I'm arison that's mine oh good okay congratulations to the farmers you got the inheritance but didn't you yeah some kind of change out of change yeah do a half million oh yeah yeah well not obviously me and you do it but yeah that seems that was a nice little drinks on you yeah well yeah I see I got massive where I leave again it's farms North North Yorkshire farm no farms no food yeah now the government can be you to turn that Laza I lose a bit of timber which is a fairly common thing that we've spoken about apart from the drinking as well yeah that'll do yeah marvelous well done lads well I last them make a stop in here I'm Thanks, Ernie.

1:08:43Happy New Year, everyone. Hey, look, the lawnmower's out again. You're too late. We've got two. Let's celebrate the lawnmowers around. That's how I finish. Let's celebrate the number one. Oh, no. Woo-hoo!

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