Lord Ian Botham: Ben Stokes' Drama, England’s Future & Career Stories | Stick to Cricket EP 50

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1:23Michael Vaughan: Morning, morning. Percy Pigs. We've got Percy Pigs. Percy Pigs, shortbread. Lord after you, sir. Come on, the Lord. Come on, the Lord. Lord Botham at the end there. The only problem at the end is you used to have to pay the bill, don't you? Oh, yeah, that's coming. Don't worry about that. Do you want sweet beef? No. Percy Pig? No.

1:43Sir Alastair Cook: There we are.

1:44Phil Tufnell: Glass of Shard, mate. Where's Lewis? Glass of Shard. Yeah, where is Lewis?

1:48Michael Vaughan: We need a brew. Where's Lewis?

1:50Phil Tufnell: Lewis? 2015 Manchester United's last home game, what happened? 14-15 that would have been. Our last home game was, I think it was Arsenal again actually. Go on, Leclerc. Yeah, we drew 1-1. Who scored? Ander Herrera and I think it was a Tyler Blackett home goal. Right, second half, first half. Ander Herrera's first half, then Tyler Blackett in the second half. What was the crowd? I was in it but like 74, 75 ,000 I'd say. Beef, Beef. Why not?

2:20Michael Vaughan: Yeah. Beef, Beef. You don't know about Scunthorpe, do you? Beef, have you met? Beef, meet Lewis. Hello, Lewis. I memorise every Manchester United Premier League game since 2011. So if you want to test him, ask him.

2:34Phil Tufnell: Any year, any Premier League game.

2:36Michael Vaughan: From 11, give him a team and he'll tell you the result. Yeah. By the way, Sheffield Wednesday haven't played them in that time. Are they still allowed to play all of them? Steady on, we're coming back. What about Luton? Luton, well, we played them like, we played them two years ago. Do you want home or away? I want the... You can have both of you. Yeah, I'll have both. When we played them away, Morris scored for Luton and then... Carlton. Hoyland scored twice. Hoyland scored after a minute, I'm pretty sure. And then... Damn, my nose. And then at Old Trafford, I think Lindelof scored and we won 1-0.

3:13Only 1-0?

3:14Michael Vaughan: Yeah. Yeah. I like that, Lewis. Thanks for that. Thank you. Can I have a brew? Sure, yeah. Yes, mate. Lovely. Beefy, thanks for joining us. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Brilliant to have you on. Can we just get on to Stokesy quickly? Yeah, fine. What have you made of it? Some people just don't learn, do they? It's as simple as that. I mean, we as a club, when he had the problems in Bristol, and we used to buy him and I stood by him. The whole team, I was chairman then. Everybody supported him. I really don't see how you can justify what happened after the game. Especially when you're probably very much in charge of who said curfew is midnight.

3:56And to me, we used to love going out for a drink, but we weren't quite so obvious. Australia, just go down 2-0. What did the team do? Go to Noosa for five days. And, well, I think everyone knows what happened. But then the other night I was amazed because... And what I can't get my head round, what's the security bloke doing there? If he knows and they know, they shouldn't be there after midnight.

4:26Phil Tufnell: That's what I said.

4:27Sir Alastair Cook: Yeah, but the skipper's going to go, well, listen... No, he's got to overrule the skipper. What, a security lad's not going to overrule the English captain?

4:35Phil Tufnell: It's his job. We shouldn't have to overrule it. It shouldn't happen.

4:41Michael Vaughan: Do you see him coming back as captain or do you think there's a... I don't know where it will go now. I mean, I just think that something's going to happen, whichever way it is. And it wouldn't surprise me if Ben did lose the captain, so he probably might walk away from the game. But I just don't know. But to be honest with you, it was an unnecessary procedure and one that I think he'll regret. Yeah, yeah. Do you agree with the way that the ECB have dealt with it? In what way? In terms of suspension, because you go back to Harry Brook's situation. Well, why is the vice-captain not the captain?

5:18Why would you have him as vice-captain on the test side and the Briton had to bring Joe Root back? And I think that, I don't think, if I was Joe, I'd have said no. Yeah, but he's not going to do that, is he?

5:27Sir Alastair Cook: Why not? Well, because Joe Root's Joe Root, isn't he? Yeah, but Joe Root, if you look at his record when he played, when he was captain, he got a lot of stick for people saying he wasn't attacking enough and then didn't make bowling changes wrong. etc. I think Joe, if I was advising him, I'd say just go and play mate. You're the best player on the team, go and bat it out. It's not your problem to think about what everyone else is doing. It's getting easier right as a captain. So when you are captain, you naturally get the... For one game, everyone's just... Whatever he does. What if it isn't one day, one game?

6:06Well it is going to be one game. Do you reckon? Yeah, I think this will get resolved one way or the other by the end of this by the end of this test match we are gonna know either Stokes is coming back and he's whatever punishment they throw him we it's good say Stokes he don't come back you think they'll give

6:22Michael Vaughan: it to Harry Brooke even though he's got the whiteboard job which is a big job now yeah you don't want to give them to one yeah to one person by I you can't have one never if you have one person and that's fine because they you got same coach now you got the same captain they drive everything through but

6:40Sir Alastair Cook: Isn't that a bit arse about face, though? You can't give it to Harry Brook, because otherwise you said that you can't give it to Harry Brook for the one that Stokesy's missed. No, Stokesy comes back. Isn't that what I'm saying? Just say Brook did it. Yeah, you can't. Why didn't you give it to me then? Brook did it, right, and they won really well. Real connection with McCullum. Because I think actually their little white ball stuff, it looked like they were building something. I think it complicates the matter, that bit, giving it for Brook for this one game. and also what happened in New Zealand.

7:12So if you're playing the game and the captain goes off injured, as it was the team before, Harry Brook would take over? I think so, yeah. Yeah. Well, I think they're trying to avoid the first thing. Basically avoiding the press conference. It's a bit of a mess, isn't it?

7:27Michael Vaughan: They are avoiding the press conference, aren't they? I knew there was a problem with that. Let's be honest, English cricket, you've been involved in a few scraps in your life, so have you. We've always had these kind of scenarios in English cricket.

7:39Phil Tufnell: He's been box office for his life. He won't mind me saying this. But he was discreet. He wouldn't... If we were going out, so Sky and all that business, and a few of us, he wouldn't come. He wouldn't come. I thought we were talking about cricket. You said you went out discreet.

8:03Michael Vaughan: If we went out... He would not go... Discreet. He went out to Baton Australia without his back. Practice game.

8:11Phil Tufnell: Practice game. He wouldn't go in a pub. I don't know. Wouldn't go in a pub. Well, couldn't. Wouldn't go in a pub. Really? Absolutely. I'm all right. Never went in. So where did you go? Well, there's plenty of things you can do. Yeah. And we used to, for instance... No, but in Australia. In Australia, we would... In the days of... We all started in the days of rest days. and you get to the rest of it and you go we'd go to windy hills winery or somewhere like that and have a barbecue and a few drinks that was it and not go down the high street falling over and so your discretion at times isn't a bad thing and i just think that um i don't know it's just been too open to the public i wonder what the public are thinking you know they they went over to australia paid a lot of money to watch england play australia yeah and do you think they got their money's worth not really no not at all no this one just slide it is a bit different they won yeah but i'm just putting in the whole you know you know this is a period of time cookie that everybody has been watching and they've drawn attention to themselves yeah and uh you know no preparation i don't care what they say no preparation whatsoever to play in australia it was bordered on arrogance and which is there are times to keep your nut down aren't there well you yeah yeah thank you well thanks where did you go well no there are times to keep your

9:52Sir Alastair Cook: bloody what what's your um but they won the test match almost one yeah well what do you actually

9:58Michael Vaughan: think about curfews was there any ever a curfew in your time playing cricket what's that curfews yeah I don't think so no no I don't remember any curfews no but as I say discretion and you've got to do that when you're in supporters there and you're all walking around the last place I would go is where they all are in the evenings just keep yourself to yourself you might go to a nice restaurant have a good have good food a nice bottle of wine you know that sort of thing no one's going to worry about that but when they see the team wobbling down the high street and i'm not you know which i didn't see it all but it certainly seemed pretty strange to me that you'd lose a test the second test you go two nil down and we're going to five days on the razz

10:45Sir Alastair Cook: i must admit i mean i i played very short time with serian um sorry lord here lord here You've gone up a notch, have you? There's a Lord up a notch from Sir It, isn't there? Get on with it. No, no, no. Sorry, Ian. Beefy. I'll do, yeah. And he's exactly right, actually. He's exactly right. You know, you hear all these stories and everything. If those stories are being bloody... Absolute ludicrous. Absolutely ludicrous. But you're right, you go out, you have a glass of wine with your meal. You know what I mean? No, the boys didn't... A bottle with your meal. Oh, right, OK. I might have the odd bottle.

11:20Sir Alastair Cook: A bottle with your dessert. You're right, you know. But you're doing it out of the public eye. If you happen to have four or five people come in for this restaurant at the same place, you probably end up saying, hi, well done, come over and whatever they want, a picture or something, and then they go and sit down. They're happy. But I don't think people are happy when they read the stuff that was going on.

11:42Michael Vaughan: Have you ever been in a nightclub? Nightclub? Not since I was about 12. 12? Is that when you were starting? Yeah, yeah. But no, nightclubs, not for me. No, I mean, I've been around you for many years. We've been in the Jigga pub. Been in the Jigga, but you're just staying in that Jigga pub, which is adjoining the St Andrews Old Course Hotel. Been in Australia. I think, you know, I've never been in many hotel bars with you. Not many of those, actually.

12:14Phil Tufnell: You said up at St Andrews, that's outside of cricket. Yeah. That's outside of cricket, and, you know, you're going to nip in next door to the St Andrews. I avoided those situations because there was so much that went on in my younger days and I thought, well, hang on a minute, am I actually playing cricket or am I rock and roll or what? And it got out of hand, so I just didn't go. I wouldn't go into the pub because quite often, and this is what happens as an example of the other night, there's always someone that wants to have a pop at you. I don't care what you think about it, it happens. So the best thing to do is not go.

12:54And Bumble's actually right, I wouldn't go. We'd go to restaurants, I'd go out for a fishing day or I'd do something in the off-time, golf. But, no.

13:04Phil Tufnell: We went with Monkey and Phil on the caravan. You went with a monkey? No, poor Monkey and Phil Collins, whose chair up at Durham. Phil Collins? What? We'd sold goods of Valderrama or Portugal or whatever on the grossest charity or a big charity event, probably 80 or 100 people, for three days or so. And you'd finish the golf and all go out to this place, that place, down on the strip at Pertobonoos and all that. Wouldn't come. Never came. Stayed at the hotel and he'd stay with a lad who I'd never met till I saw this bloke and I never saw him move. him his chair jason leonard well you're sat there enormously i'll guarantee that you you've gone out

13:54Michael Vaughan: yeah so you you leave lord in his chair in the bar with private bar with jace yeah you've gone out you i'll guarantee that he was still there when he when you got back yeah jason's a very interesting man to spend time with yeah lovely man if that's a great man yeah fantastic guy and he minder as He used to have his own corner at the bar. When we did the Valderrama trips, he would sit at one corner, Jason, and hold court. And he would sit there and he'd have a few beers and everyone, laughter, but that's the way it was. But anyway, who's going to pick a fight with Jason Lennon?

14:33Sir Alastair Cook: Well, there you go. But I mean, the clue is in it, isn't it? There a little bit. Security. Where are you going somewhere that you need security?

14:44Phil Tufnell: It's probably, you know, this modern day is because of them phones. Everybody's snapping his ear, like who's here, he's here, he's here, he's done this. But we've always had it. It might have security.

14:56Michael Vaughan: Well, we'd have someone that would know that we were in a certain place and they'd be around.

15:01Phil Tufnell: When we played for England, we'd never had anybody. Yeah, we'd never had it. We always had, they always needed to know where we were. I can't remember them actually standing in the box. It was like they started over, wasn't it? Security. see that. Probably.

15:13Sir Alastair Cook: I just went out with Big Sid, Devon. If you're going to go out, make sure you take the big lads. I still think you should be allowed to go out because you're in a slightly different sphere to most people. Yeah, absolutely. You want people to be able to, and I still think cricketers are very accessible people, and I think people want to see the lads out or people out to go and say hello to. But not smashed to pieces. There's a common sense factor. Yeah, and it makes it difficult forever. It also puts the whole team on on an edge Did I do that? Did I do this or look at me now? Honestly, it's I think they've created a massive problem for themselves these all-rounders soldies around us, you know

16:00My love of wine

16:05Michael Vaughan: Before we get started I'd like to thank our partners bet fair So just hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Enjoy the show.

16:17How did you not win the championship?

16:19Phil Tufnell: We were really bothered about it. No ball. I've never bowled in no ball. I'll say what you have, he's just gone all these turns around. He said, get your own fucking fishing.

16:32Michael Vaughan: Who's this from? RK. What was Bothan's pre-match routine? Well, put it this way, obviously better than the one they're currently doing because we used to win. Oh! I didn't worry about who it was and reputation, so I just played and played as you see it. But, I mean, the commentary. Yeah. Bobby Bastard! But also in the river, there are a lot of very large lizards. Right. About six metres, seven metres. Seven metres? Seven metre lizard? Yeah. Seven metres? It's a crocodile. It's a crocodile. It's a crocodile. This section is called beefy or bollocks.

17:08Phil Tufnell: Be careful here, I've got in terrible trouble.

17:10Michael Vaughan: Glaston Small says he will prepare you shandies to drink in your Gatorade bottle on the field. Beefy.

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18:54the spotlight on the biggest stage world cup daily listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on youtube where do you sit with the ecb these days beef you doing a good job yeah well i'm not going to push the boat i actually think that it's not an easy job the biggest problem i have with the ecb is we've got to get the fixtures sorted out because you cannot play for 3rd of April, I think it was 3rd or 4th of April, first championship game in the northeast of England. And what's that all about? We never used to play the first game until end of April, May, beginning of May. And you played that through and you did it.

19:39But now they've clustered it up with their T20s, 100, etc, etc. And that's something I think that needs to be looked at seriously because if you talk to people and I'm going around the world, you talk to people and I say to them who won the IPL two years ago? No. Don't know. Don't know. No one knows. Who won the Ashes? Who won the West Indies? They remember test cricketers and the reason for that is, and this is the point I think everyone should, test cricket is testing all the faculties and that's why it's called test cricket. So you've got to have stamina, you've got to have skills, abilities, patience.

20:23Mental. Yeah, mental. Nowadays, you just know you've got to go out there and just smash it from the word go. And if it comes off, it comes off. So I think that Test Cricket should still be the priority in this country, but I don't think it is at the moment. I think it's been shuffled around to accommodate all the one-day stuff. And that is scary because the way I look at it is if you lose Test Cricket, you lose cricket full stop

20:48Phil Tufnell: is it not out of our control though with the IPL being so dominant oh Joffre Archer yeah

20:54Sir Alastair Cook: Joffre Archer not available for the first one they're saying the second one now that they've come in he hasn't had the loads in his legs I'm not quite sure he's going to play now because of the situation well absolutely but then he wouldn't have done would he without the situation would he probably not so you're giving him equally the players how many overs do you bowl IPL four

21:14Michael Vaughan: not many four every four days on average Tiring It's a lot It's a lot Where did you sit on that when you heard that news that an England contracted player who's been looked after well by he's got a good contract over here as well Does he still get paid by England when he's at the IPL? Well he's a 12-month central contracted player Yeah but do they pay him for those? I would think

21:40Phil Tufnell: Talking percentage if he's available he's not available They just won't

21:44Michael Vaughan: get his match fee they get a fee don't they for a test match he just won't get he won't get that match fee for the first test match but where did you sit with that your premier fast bowler is not available for your first test of the summer he has I always think back to that game at Lords when he came on first time he ran in as quick as I've seen an Englishman bowl for a very long time hit two of the best players on this helmet and I haven't seen that since I haven't seen it can anyone else say that you've seen him bowl that quick again he bowled he bowled in Perth first innings and against India at Lords last year I thought he bowled it was different against India wasn't it different pitch as well it was a little bit lower but he bowled but you're right consistently we haven't seen it over a period he's had his problem with his elbow he did

22:36Phil Tufnell: he got injured didn't he he's had some bad injuries

22:38Michael Vaughan: but the point is do we want to see our premier fast bowler not playing our first test of the summer on the back of what happens in India.

22:45Phil Tufnell: Beefy would be old school. If you're going to get fit at cricket, you've got to play cricket. Yeah, well, that's another bugbear. But anyway. That's it, isn't it? You've got to play. We just said in the previous episode that you've got to play. And it's true, surely.

23:03Michael Vaughan: So you gave a speech recently about the test game and you were on this lovely podium. You look very smart, Sir Ian. I would have been here. I've done a podcast before with make-up. Lord, sorry. And it was the message about you generally have a worry about the future of the game. I do. Not as much as I did five years ago because when you see the crowds now coming back into the stadiums, which certainly in Australia, where I see a lot of cricket, full houses, first four days. The India series last year, on the final day, 74 ,000 people walked into the MCG through the turnstiles for that final day.

23:48Final day. People forget that, and that is coming back. Australia, I don't mean a problem. England never had a real problem filling the grounds, but our grounds are much smaller in comparison. But it's nice to see now that Indian crowds are coming back for some of the test cricket now when it's interesting, not to the extent that was when we played. where Calcutta had 140 ,000 in the stadium which is about 40 ,000 illegal and then you'd have the Eden Gardens over here and you get a wicket and the crowd goes up in the stadium and then a minute later on the radios in the Eden Gardens it goes up again so those crowds I think have probably gone forever but I think they are improving which is important

24:37Michael Vaughan: Do you think India have too much power? Yeah. Or is it understandable with the commercial? Well, that's the thing. Look, they've created that with their spending and that is the hundred, what was it, 900 and something million. It's getting on for...

24:58Sir Alastair Cook: A billion quid. Yeah. Nice. Nice.

25:02Phil Tufnell: A trillion. Getting back to when you played against the West Indies, who were fantastic cricketers. That's sad now that their cricket is not where it should be. So when you're talking about India getting all the money, should there not be a better sharing? Well, that's the problem. And that is a problem. And I think the reason that the best players in the Caribbean nowadays are going to the IPL and other formats because they're not getting paid the amount they should be. In some way, I don't know how it works, but tax franchise cricket. I know it's all privately owned, so it's impossible, but tax it to give it...

25:44Tax? Yeah, no, it's a tax on some of the tourists and then some of that money goes into it. What drips down? Yeah, drips so that the New Zealand, I know West Indies boards are supported that way because I think the game does need more than just three...

25:59Michael Vaughan: You know New Zealand do get a sum of money for every player that plays in the IPL? From? from IPL the VCCI but do West Indians I'm guessing so but it's not

26:10Phil Tufnell: it's not life changing is it it's not going to

26:13Michael Vaughan: it doesn't level look it's never India are up here with the finances England Australia just below and then there's this gulf isn't there there's a massive gap but the gap needs to be closed the only way to get it closed is by some there is a lot of money in the game it's somehow spreading a little bit more than it is well I think it needs a lot more than it is to be honest no I think that if you're playing for your country and test cricket yeah you should be an even playing field how you get to that is the problem but everyone gets the same match yeah well they should be able to I mean the ICC must have loads of coin yeah they must be able to kind of

26:54Phil Tufnell: level the kind of payment structure up we it's like Bangladesh and Afghanistan who have almost got their hands tied behind the back because there isn't the finance that the big three have got. And it's just got to be a better share to allow your West Indies and other teams to compete against them top three. Surely that's what they want. They want competition. I'm pretty sure they do. The best side that I ever played against was the West Indies and that was over nearly a 20-year period. And they were the best. I remember as captain, when I did one of the press conferences, one of the English press, I said, this is the best side I think has ever played Test cricket.

27:38And he said, well, it can't be. And I said, well, why is that? He said, you haven't got a spinner. When's he going to bowl? He's bowled a bit, wasn't he? Well, yeah, and I got out to him as well. But that was another story. But no, I think that they were, for me, and also the people they had backing them up they didn't have 5, 6, 7, 8 they had about 12, 13, 14 quick bowlers of real quality and they named them how would they have gone on the subcontinent do you reckon you know it's obviously very different now but still you have to have some kind of sport they must have played it in India

28:18Phil Tufnell: they did but you've got to remember at that time they would be against with domestic umpires

28:24Michael Vaughan: I don't think Sonny G ever got out LBW in India

28:27Phil Tufnell: Javid was a fantastic player Javid he didn't get out in Pakistan only once and that was when Australian in the World Cup played over there an Australian umpire gave him out gave him out that's where the story goes

28:40Sir Alastair Cook: yeah that's handy when he gets a W take now that's handy

28:45Michael Vaughan: of that West Indies side who was who was the bowler that you faced and thought I mean they obviously had a lot that you'd have a little bit of a concern about but which one would you go No. Well, for one, there's quite a few. I think the one that's the quickest was Patrick Patterson. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. All you saw was the sole of the boot as he came in. But anyway, luckily he defected to South Africa and we were sat in the dressing room and I said, let's have a whip round here, get my first class ticket to Joburg. One way. Yeah, I mean, this guy was really, really quick. and big Jamaican lad, strapping lad.

29:29He played at your place, didn't he? Yeah, but then you had two overseas cricketers.

29:34Phil Tufnell: Was he my grab-up? So some seasoned old pro thinks, I'll just have a game in the two, just get back in there, and Pat all comes ready.

29:44Michael Vaughan: I played against him.

29:45Phil Tufnell: Yeah, yeah. He was quick.

29:47Michael Vaughan: I played against him at Tomudden. Yeah, that's how I was. Tomudden. I always remember it. I was a young kid, right? I arrived at Tomden and they had a lovely lady who used to do the breakfast in there. And I was sat in having a lovely bacon and egg roll. Doug Padgett, the coach, was eating it. He went, all right, young man, he said, are you up for it today? I went, yeah, of course, Sam. He said, have you seen who's just arrived? I went, I have understood. He said, Patrick Padgett. I hope your eyes are in. How old? I'd be 17, 18.

30:21Phil Tufnell: Yeah, Tomudon's right on the Lancashire-Yorkshire border. Right on the border. There's half of the town in Lancashire. That's right, yes.

30:28Sir Alastair Cook: Oh, blimey, that must be tricky there. Ain't rivalry there. Red and white. You were born in Cheshire, weren't you? Yeah. Heswell. So what is your Cheshire, Somerset? My father was in the Navy, and when the wives were about to give birth, they got moved. So the wives were taken over to Heswell, to our nursing home. So I was born there and then I went back very briefly. My father did his time and then we went to Yeovil. So my memories start at Yeovil. Yeovil Town? Yeah, played there as well.

31:02Phil Tufnell: I think I played in his first county championship match. You did? I did, yeah. Well, down at... He won at Taunton. Yeah, he was. Was he at Taunton? Yeah, and I'll tell you who else's debut was as well in first class cricket. Who? A guy called Viv Richards. No. The two of us made our debuts in county cricket. He must have played first class in West Indies or not. Well, is he first class in the West Indies as such? I don't know. So what year? 24. 74. I was born that year. Yeah.

31:37Michael Vaughan: I was born that year.

31:39Phil Tufnell: Oh, and Lank's captain. So Closie must have been captain of Somerset. Yeah, I think he was captain that year. Ryan Closie. Tell him about when you used to travel with Closie in the car. And Closie would say, you drive now, Ian. No, I didn't. He'd never go out of the car. He had to just from the passenger seat drive while Closie got a sandwich.

32:03Yeah, slightly embellished, but yeah. Far off. But no, no, Closie was, he was, do you know what? He changed Somerset cricket. He did. He transformed us from cider-drinking boys having a great time to actually becoming a major threat in cricket. And he did it, but you just didn't want to go in the car with him because he'd have... What he used to do, he had the flask of coffee, or tea, sorry, tea in his case, flask, beef sandwiches, 40 Benson Edges and the sporting life over the steering wheel.

32:39Sir Alastair Cook: Picking his runners. and I'm sitting there thinking we're doing 80 in the outside lane and he's looking at me one at 2.30 anyway

32:51Phil Tufnell: I survived fantastic bloke he was in my opinion he had the biggest influence on myself and Viv's careers we talked about a cup of tea and they had a lady down at Taunton who used to brew up and that and Closie used to call everybody by alright Michael lad all right Philip lad he said get us a cup of tea Ethel lad yeah yeah when I

33:17Michael Vaughan: signed for Yorkshire's 1617 me and dad to go into the I think Chris Assall was it the CEO at the time going and you know you'd agree your contract you know whatever it was bag of nuts there you go sign the contract and then you'd walk out the door and close it with that there with a fag on river just sign a young Michael I'd just sign he's a pension he's in charge of the pension closely sign here young Michael sign your pension we weren't going to retire on that were we no no absolutely Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair those days back in county cricket I mean you obviously had a stellar career across county cricket across international cricket those early days playing around the traps, would they be fun to you?

34:09Yeah, I loved it. I loved playing for Somerset. And Viv was the same. And when Viv wasn't there, Martin Crowe came in, Sonal Gavasky took his place, and a series of really good players. Joel? Well, Joel was permanent. He came in with us. He was there for quite, well, many years. But he was part of the... Great man, Joel. Oh, great man. And he was a bigger handful than probably only. Patrick Patterson was more fearsome because he was so tall that a ball there with it in the throat just came from a height.

34:41Phil Tufnell: And that Sunday league, he could get his 15-yard run, or he could run up in his 15 yards. Richard Adley could do the same, just in that 15 yards. They were rapid. Bob Willis did. Bob, yeah. Wasn't that the time when they covered the pitch but not the run-ups?

34:56Sir Alastair Cook: No, no, covered the run-ups, not the pitch. Yeah, that was...

35:02Sir Alastair Cook: Uncovered pitches. Yeah, but the boys can still stay in. Yeah, I remember that. Well, you didn't worry about the run-up. I worried about what happened when he hit down there somewhere

35:12Phil Tufnell: because you didn't know where it was going. Which was your most enjoyable county that you played at? Three counties, Somerset, Worcester, Durham. What's your most memorable time? Queensland. No, but honest with you, I think because it all started was Somerset. and none of us wanted to leave Somerset it was pushed upon us and Viv would tell you the same he and I grew up shared his house for 10 years with him God we are as close as you can ever be and he's godfather Liam my son and he stays in touch and we don't have to see each other he had a little bit of a blood thickening problem but they sorted that out with blood thinners but uh but he was a bit of a shock and everyone panicked and he's there fine every one of the gal of them cedar golf of course in anticast john's uh every morning he's down there playing golf no point ringing him on his mobile it's been full for 33 years the message bank 34 years now right no no no don't answer it but you ring ring the bar a bit like beef Yeah, I'm not great.

36:28But ring the golf club and I say, if there are you out there now? I said, OK, he turned to ring me. And that's how you get in touch with him. He rings me from the golf club.

36:41Phil Tufnell: You went to Worcester, so that would be the influence of Duncan Fernley? Yeah.

36:46Michael Vaughan: Is that when you went to Duncan Fernley, Bats? No. Have yours been with Duncan Fernley? All but one season. Right.

36:52Sir Alastair Cook: and just about attack with both of them I'd want I'd want did you yeah yeah we did we actually paid him back and get the guy gives the back what did you use sir Surridge Surridge Stewart Surridge so

37:11Phil Tufnell: so he's playing at Worcester I'm umpiring he's he's at my end balling at my head no ball big Eagles apeshit, no ball. You know what they do, putting them in. No ball. I've never balled, never ever balled a no ball. I said, you have, you've just balled one now. It's just gone up on the board. Before the game started, because we were fishing, they said, you're still into fishing? He said, yeah. He said, oh, I'm sponsored by Shakespeare. They said, I'll get you a couple of rods and some gear and some reels. I said, right, no ball. I've never balled a no ball. I said, you have, it's just gone up. He turns around.

37:49Phil Tufnell: He said, get your own fucking fishing.

37:53Michael Vaughan: Who's the best fisherman out of you two? Oh, no, no, no. Come on. No, him. Seriously. Really? I'm just keen. I took him to the River Teeth, which is... Oh, don't. We're on the River Teeth, so we're getting there, and I said, look, you've got a lovely pool here. Fly? On the fly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he gets it out there and took it, hit it, whacked it. And it went round, right, and it ran the pool, and then it came and it ran straight at him. fish ran and he sat on it he sat on the fish

38:25Phil Tufnell: you went to catch him yeah he did catch him he sat on it I couldn't get I couldn't get my net so I thought I'll sit on it

38:33Sir Alastair Cook: what you squashed it

38:34Phil Tufnell: no it run off no it was 20 pounds

38:36Sir Alastair Cook: it was over 20 pounds Pumble says Pumble says you've got to toast the lake before you start river oh river sorry the lake

38:47Michael Vaughan: that's early morning yeah you have a little toast I will always have a little dram. Yeah. And then after half an hour, do you do it again? No, I'm in the river by then. A little bit for the river. Biefs, is Saviv the best you've played against? The best I've seen and played against. Best you've ever seen? In my era, in my time. I mean, Sobe must have been one hell of a player. Yeah. And actually, he's still doing all right. He's got a bit of a scare, but he's all right. Good. But, no, I think Viv, all-round player, he adapted to any conditions. He could play any format. And I remember at Old Trafford, we had the West Indies in all kinds of trouble.

39:35And they were 90 for eight, 90 for nine, chasing, we scored over 200. So I thought, right, first win. Michael Holden comes out the bat, batted with him. That's right. and Viv got 180. Right? And he hit one ball. It was outside the old stump by about that much. I thought, I've got a ball out there. I've got the field set. And he went like that. And it went straight into the pit of hate, as it was in those days. And went into the pit of hate. And I looked at him. I said, Viv, did you ever read the MCC coaching book? Because that should have been played through there. He just destroyed us. He absolutely destroyed the whole attack.

40:18Phil Tufnell: Yeah. And Michael just nodded one here, nudged one there, gave him this attack, we couldn't do anything about it. But that was one of the greatest innings I've seen under the circumstances.

40:29Sir Alastair Cook: That was Baz Bull before Baz Bull had even been thinking about, wasn't it? Or was he... What kind of shot is that?

40:36Phil Tufnell: How he did it, I don't know.

40:38Michael Vaughan: They all play it now, don't they, from out there.

40:40Phil Tufnell: So if you played a test match, so he plays a test match, he goes straight back and play for Somerset. Yeah, great. So then you'd come up against Richards, Botham, Garner. That's who you're up against. Now, you know, we've got somebody like Michael Holding, Paul Allett, got international... How did you not win the championship? We weren't really bothered about the championship. We had a lot of fun. We're not in a pub? No, no, no. We never went there. Joel used to cook a lot of the time. We used to go round to his house.

41:16Michael Vaughan: You must have gone in the Ring of Bells down in Taunton. No. I did go to one in the edge of town, but that was always there and you were quite relaxed and no problems. And they used to take you home. Great place. He used to take you home.

41:31Phil Tufnell: What a great idea that is. Your lad plays as well. Yes, he's fantastic. I love it. Yeah, it's great down there. Taunton is one of the great venues. Archie, he's done well the other day.

41:42Sir Alastair Cook: Yeah. I had a 60-odd night. Oh, blimey, it was small as well, wasn't it, when this boy had a viv. And they all come down from the hills, don't they, drinking that scrumpy? Strong stuff, that is.

41:51Michael Vaughan: Well, there's the Wetherspoons that goes from town. I think it's the high street, and it pretty much goes all the way through. What, the pub? The Wetherspoons, it's the longest Wetherspoons in the UK. I'm telling you, in Taunton, you can go in it from the town, and you walk all the way through it, and you pretty much end up at the ground.

42:09Phil Tufnell: But you can, at Taunton, you can be staying in the city and just walk to the ground, just walk in. Lovely little play. Great play. The river at the back of the... where the pavilion is now, on that side, and we used to go swimming in there. I unplayed a game there with Viv. Swimming in there? No, in those days, there was no pollution. There we were catching fish. River Torn. Yeah. River Torn. The river what? Torn, T-O-N-E. Torn. Tone. Tone. Tone. So I unplayed it. They're playing Glamorgan. They're playing Glamorgan. I'm umpiring. I'm at the river end. And Viv's... You know, Viv were in the mood.

42:49Phil Tufnell: He used to knock the top of his... He's at my end. He got 148 balls. He got 148 balls. And I'm there, white jacket on, glasses on. He stood at my end. He goes, hey, mumble man. Look who they're bringing on. Bringing on the on-tong. Not the on-tong. And Rodney, he was bringing on the on-tong. And Rodney, a lovely bloke, Rodney, I think they roomed together when they were at MCC Young Cricketers. He's bowling to this short boundary off-spit. Viv, he just kept, boom, there's another in the river. Yeah, yeah, fantastic. What's funny is Greg Thomas bowling at Taunton to Viv. And it's a little bit of a lively pitch.

43:35I think I'm unpaying this, mate.

43:37Phil Tufnell: I think I'm unpaying. It's not... It is. I know what he's coming up with. So he ran out and... He's just a ball. And they've played and missed. And Greton's got halfway down the hook. Gave him that one and they went... Anyway, came back. Next ball. Jagged it. It was a little bit of... Yeah, it was a loose ball. We'll get the ball. And he gets some... Gives a bit of verbal. So. Next ball comes in. He gave himself a bit of room. and hit it straight over the sight screen and into the timber mill on the other side of the river. And they said, they're all scurrying around to look for the ball. And he said, you better go and see him because you were telling me just now that it was six and a quarter inches, you know, there's ounces and all sorts.

44:24Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah. He said, well, you know what it looks like. Go and get it. Yeah, that's it. True story, that.

44:29Sir Alastair Cook: Oh, yeah. It's red in its round. Yeah, you know what it looks like. You go get it. You ever see a... He must have played when Marshall played against Richards. That must have been quite... You know, when he was playing for Hampshire, Marshall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He played against quite a few of his mates. Michael, Crofty. And did they fire up against him? Did they ever. Oh, yeah. Wow. And Clive Lloyd was captain in those days at Lancashire. So they wound him up. And that's when they've got 190-odd, I think. Southport. And when it went through the window. Oh, no, that's at Old Trafford. That's at Old Trafford, I'm not playing.

45:06So he comes in...

45:10Phil Tufnell: That's at Old Trafford, he got out LBW to Bob Ratcliffe, I think. Yeah, but what he annoyed... Fucking wind it went... Whoever was batting with him, they could have taken the run and he'd got to 200. And he was 190 odd and then he got given out LBW. And he went through the bat on the ground, but he hit the handle straight through the window. This big black glass window went, what the fuck we're at? Yeah, Greg Thomas made a mistake, actually. The words were, it's round, it's red. That's it. And it's got a white seam, or worse than a feather.

45:46Sir Alastair Cook: He was lively as well, Greg, isn't he?

45:48Michael Vaughan: He was, yeah. Sharp. He wasn't lively after that. 821 obviously is famous. When did you think you were at your peak of your powers? Was it then? late 70s early 80s mid 80s 85 86 in Australia when we were written off well that was the tour wasn't it the famous headline that was with ground back bowling field yeah we were Lammy were on that's when Lammy and Gladstone they came on the show told us all about that trip oh yeah that's when you didn't have your bat yeah yeah well that's all right you're allowed to do that once that was yeah i mean it's sponsored by bollinger yeah well but and jeffrey merrill winds wasn't it yeah bollinger merrill what was his liqueur he had the french liqueur lamby was born didn't he have a he did he were on about some french liqueur that he was and uh what was it

46:39Sir Alastair Cook: you had elton john in the that's it ej ej the dj he was we had it we had it in the team room and we set it up and we didn't know a lot about it because obviously we'd come and win and Elton actually came to most days all the tests so he altered you know if we were in Melbourne he played in Melbourne in Sydney it was great it was fantastic and he we win the series and he came to the dressing room and the boys got the big big barrel of we had all ice and water and some ridiculous stuff called Gatorade or something anyway which we really don't want at the end of just winning a series, do you? So they tipped it over him.

47:22Duh. Yeah, the whole suit. So about a 20 grand suit had just gone out of the pan. Who got injured bowling to EJ on the...

47:31Sir Alastair Cook: That was it. That was it. On the outfit. Stoney's suit. Yeah. Who got injured in his pants? That's how Glasson got his... Who was it? I was trying to think. Grave Dillie? No, not Grave Dillie. Ellison?

47:42Phil Tufnell: No. I don't know. Bowling to EJ

47:44Michael Vaughan: before the game. Philippe de Freitas? I mean, Daffy actually got injured bowling to EJ. Well done. And then Gladys. He had it up there and he did the room out and the kids, he looked after everybody, he was brilliant. And music went on and he said, EJ the DJ, and off he went.

48:06Sir Alastair Cook: That's when he smacked Merv all around everywhere, wasn't it, in Brisbane? Yeah. Did you fall in a river full of sharks? No, Phil, leave that, leave that.

48:17Michael Vaughan: Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair.

48:47you can enjoy a little cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings by$946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 and May 2025. Potential savings will vary. Hello, I'm Max Rushton. The World Cup is back and Football Weekly is going daily. If you want award-winning soccer coverage from a podcast that's been overanalyzing the game for more than 20 years and still hasn't run out of opinions or just repeats the same ones over and over again, this is where you'll find it. We'll be producing 33 daily episodes across the tournament, breaking down all the action, the results, and of course, the drama.

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50:03Michael Vaughan: This section is called beefy or bollocks. I reckon they're all true. Right, you've had a few mentions on this Stick to Cricket podcast beef and you're going to tell us whether it's beefy or bollocks, right?

50:18Phil Tufnell: Now be careful here, I've got terrible trouble.

50:21Michael Vaughan: Right, Alan Lamb told us you once walked out the bat in Perth without no bat. Is that beefy or bollocks? Beefy. Beefy, right, that's true. Steve Bruce. Steve Bruce says that he played against you, beefy or bollocks? I just can't talk versus. At football. Oh, at football, yes. Yeah, beefy. So that's true, going well here. Glaston Small says he will prepare you shandies to drink in your Gatorade bottle on the field. Beefy.

50:55Michael Vaughan: That was in 86-87. Yeah, I hated that. I've done your... How many walks have you been on? Raised millions for charity. Yeah. And you used to have the... Rocketfield. Rocketfield. Orange and tequila. Tanty bottle.

51:11Phil Tufnell: Yeah. Tequila.

51:13Sir Alastair Cook: Yeah. And it's orangeade. Yeah. And I remember two lovely ladies, they just want something into the collectors coming down. So look at that, he's lovely, he's having a nice drink there. Orange, good for him. He didn't realise there was two thirds of it was tequila. I know. But he only came out literally in the last half hour. So we've done the 30 miles. So a celebration. And we had a lot of people who came and joined us and joined us for the walk, creators, footballers, actors, everything, you know, name it. And they come out and I did a little swig and everyone had a swig. And the beauty of it was that it seemed to kill all the pain from the neck down.

51:55Absolutely. And, well, you know.

51:57Sir Alastair Cook: Yeah. Now, I did a walk and I phoned you up and I said, have you got any advice for me? And you said, rocket field. Where did you walk? I did 600 miles. What, with Beef? No, not with Beef, but I phoned up Beef had done all his wonderful stuff and then they asked me to do one. I did 600 miles. So where did you go at 600 miles? I went from Brighton, it was for Macmillan Cancer Relief. Brighton, went up there to Manchester and finished up in Trent Bridge. You can't be John O 'Groats the Lancelot, 400 short. No, no, well there you go. I did the Empower 600. When was this? I remember, yeah, he rang.

52:43Sir Alastair Cook: I did, he did. I don't know how I missed it. Because you were too busy in the nets doing something.

52:48Michael Vaughan: Flicking them off your hip. Here we go, beefy old bollocks. Alan Lamb told us that you gave a mobile phone to give to Tiki Bird so you could call him with the racing calls. Beefy. Beefy, right, that's good. Yeah, with the horse one. Oh, well, I told him that's fine. Yeah, you had to let him know.

53:04Sir Alastair Cook: It was a big one as well.

53:05Michael Vaughan: It was one of those big old bricks. It was the original bricks. Right, beefy or bollocks. Did Piers Morgan double your salary when he was drunk? Beefy.

53:15Sir Alastair Cook: See, we don't know.

53:17Michael Vaughan: No lies here. Are any of the stories that Bumble have told us on here, falling in when fishing, falling out of a golf buggy, true?

53:27Phil Tufnell: Beefy. I got in terrible trouble with his daughter. Don't cross her. Don't cross her. There was a rule. Yeah, I've said it. I've held my hands up. I was out of it. What goes on tour? What goes on tour stage. Well, always. And I wasn't driving it. I was sat there minding my own business and Bozzy was driving it. The next thing I knew, the whole lot's on top of me.

53:49Michael Vaughan: Tim Bostock, the CEO of Durham. Yeah. I tell you, you made some funny stuff up in Durham. Did Murfews really save you from the Crocs?

53:59Sir Alastair Cook: Yeah. Bollocks. Oh. Oh, he's lying. Well, I'll tell you what happened. But it's not...

54:05Phil Tufnell: Like an Aussie, too, exactly. Yeah. I actually... It was the last day we'd been up after barramundi, way up in the Northern Territory. And we're on the river, and it's the last day. And he'd been bragging to me about this 94-centimetre barramundi caught about 10 years before. He said, you don't get any of those now. They're not that big in the river nowadays. but also in the river there are a lot of very large lizards right about six meters seven meters seven meters seven meter lizard yeah seven meters and they're salties as well and there was also bull sharks so we go in there last cast or last half hour bang I get this fish big fish beautiful fish 95 centimeters so Merv is spewing we get on we walk go up last night so that we tenders get moved to the back of the boat from the sides and we were there and I wouldn't think I wasn't thinking about it came up the second we're gonna have a beer we deserve one I said yeah okay you go and get him and as I did I I tripped over the rope because it wasn't meant to be there, it was meant to be over here.

55:26And I went straight over the back of the boat. Luckily the chef was down there just clearing some whatever he was, gutting some fish or something, which probably wouldn't have helped very much either. Oh, a bit of chump. Yeah. Over I went and I smashed, broke the rib down here. And luckily the chef was there because I went under. And he grabbed me instinct and pulled me by the shirt and then we threw one of the ropes around and boys yanked me out because because i wasn't alone this thing which is about where that our dear cameraman here is away from me what's that about 10 yards eight yards yeah yeah well it's about uh it just came up to the top i was but i had me out of the water by then so i'm up there and merv comes from the galley and he had two beers one in each hand i thought that's a lifesaver and he went one two I said that's nice Merv he said I just got you out I said Merv you never got me out

56:27Sir Alastair Cook: alright so you did go in though oh no I did I went in oh you went in I went in I was under the water I was lucky because it was this 30 foot or something ridiculous tidal difference on this river so it's quick yeah and if I hadn't got a hold of me I was gone we were on triple M

56:46Phil Tufnell: Jesus Beefy birth, I mean, absolute box office on Triple M. That's loose. Oh, yeah, it's great. That's how loose radio that is. Flippin' off shorts and a T-shirt. Yeah. They're out there with their tie, 40 degrees. How's it going out there, Bullies? Yeah. But, I mean, the commentary. Yeah. Bobby Bastard. Oh, yeah, yeah. So, Nick, I mean, the commentary's going, Nick caught second asleep. Wow, what a shit shot that is. What a wanker. Oh, yeah. The one that... Junior. Mike Wolfe. He occasionally lets out some other expletives. But it's the fastest growing radio station because it's alternative. And also, it's all over Australia.

57:32And you can get it in England now, apparently, for the AFL.

57:35Michael Vaughan: Do you think that style of commentary would work in the UK? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I do. Absolutely. And I've been trying to push it.

57:41Phil Tufnell: Definite. Definite. I saw you. They're up against... There's ABC in Australia, Australia, which is BBC.

57:49Michael Vaughan: Which is like the TMS in Test My Specialist.

57:51Phil Tufnell: And there's an alternative. SEN.

57:54Michael Vaughan: SEN. Well, what's that? It's a commercial station. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's three, isn't it? More than that, there's a couple of individuals everywhere you go. There's Perth Radio, there's Sydney, there's all different stations. It's well covered. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair. Beef, Sir Alistair's created a segment on this show. We did it with Sean Yadal, actually. Oh, yeah, this will be a goodie. And we're going to... Lewis, we're going to get the whiteboard out. This will be a goodie. And we're going to pick... You're going to pick your best 11 that you've played with. From all over.

58:32With or against or just with?

58:34Michael Vaughan: Did we say against? I think with. With. It was with one. It's with. Yeah, so those that you've played with across the world, across the counties. You want me to write these up? Well, what about... Yeah, you could. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

58:46Sir Alastair Cook: I won't be out of spell Kaveska or... Yeah, you get a spelling wrong, Kat.

58:49Michael Vaughan: Yeah.

58:50Sir Alastair Cook: Get the whiteboard and this will be your... Do you have to judge whether it's better than Shaggy's?

58:55Michael Vaughan: I tell you, Shaggy's will be... Sean Yudarl. If I remember rightly, Sean Yudarl had... Did he have David Warner, Matthew Hayden? Yeah, Greenwich didn't even get in. Gower at three. He didn't... Robin Smith, four. He did, he did. Kevin Peterson. Yeah, he did, yeah. Peterson was five. Flintoff was six. Gilchrist was seven. Wazi Makram, Malcolm Marshall, Jimmy Anderson, Shane Warne. Where do you want it? Well, you can do with the whiteboard on that. It's going to struggle without it. Yeah. We need his team after the squad, don't we? And we then... I'll write the shade bags. The winner stays on. Right, here we go.

59:29Michael Vaughan: The winner stays on.

59:31Sir Alastair Cook: I'll write the shade bags. It's pretty underbeliever.

59:34Michael Vaughan: Right, Beefy's greatest 11 that you've played with. Who are your openers, Beef?

59:42Gavasko. Greenwich has won, for sure.

59:46Sir Alastair Cook: Didn't make shaggies, did it? Oh, well, he didn't bolter. I think shagging... Number one, Greenwich, please, Dave. Where did you play with Gordon Greenwich? Where did you play with him? Greenwich, I played against him many times. Oh, I played with. Oh, sorry, it's great. That guy hasn't put it up yet. Yeah. Played with? Yeah. OK. Gavaska. Yeah, great crowd. Yeah, Gavaska.

1:00:09Michael Vaughan: Gavaska, Sonny Gavaska. What, didn't you remember? Gavaska. Well, he didn't play one year. Well, what about... So you'll have... We'll have Rich as a four. Gooch. Gooch, boycott. Oh, boy. The advantage of boycott is that if he bats all day, he can go out in the evening. Yeah, boycott. Geoffrey. I was with him on Friday. He was in good form. Yeah, he looks a lot better than he did six months ago. Yeah, so you've got... That's a pretty strong opening part. Richard, Richard's three. Richard's three. Is he bat three? Viv Richard's three. Yeah, that's not bad. Quite a good top three. Yeah, that's decent.

1:00:44Michael Vaughan: Number four. Kroh. I'm thinking of him, Martin Kroh. Loops. Kroh was a fantastic player. What, Batman? Gower? Yeah, Kroh. Martin Kroh.

1:00:56Sir Alastair Cook: That's a good... I'll tell you what, this is... Was he mad, Kroh? Was he Martin Kroh was the best player we ever played? Yeah, it was. Five.

1:01:03Michael Vaughan: Was it Hayden Warner? Hayden Warner. Gower. I never played with Peterson, so... No, no, no, absolutely not. Gower Border Oh no Yeah Put him in Border

1:01:18Sir Alastair Cook: We've got Border Gower coming up Gower 5 Border 6 Phil We're not getting them out We're not getting them out We're in the dirt for a while We're not getting them out But if you've got Shaggy's team You've got a chance of getting them out

1:01:30Michael Vaughan: Beef you can't pick yourself I'm not going to pick myself No Not that Well why not Stumper Stumper The best I played with Alan Knott Alan Knott. Trevor Garner. Why can't you play?

1:01:43Sir Alastair Cook: Well, he's just picking his best team. So then, bowlers. But he could get in his team. Garner. Yeah, but there's others as well. Joel I played with, so... But he can't... Yeah, you can put him at 11. He'll really be pissed off with me. So you better put him in at 10. Garner. Garner.

1:02:04Michael Vaughan: Joel Garner at 10.

1:02:10Underwood. Underwood.

1:02:12Michael Vaughan: Sir Ian, are you going to pick a spinner? Well, I don't really need one so I've got Border and I've got Viv. Right, okay. So, Willis. Yeah, you can put Willis there because he's the most underrated quick bowler I've played with. Bob Willis, wow, this is a good team. That I've played with. Erm... Think about this. Hang on. Derek Pringle.

1:02:38Sir Alastair Cook: What about Queensland? Was there a... Yeah, there was. Queensland.

1:02:47Michael Vaughan: Must be another bowl or something. Phil De Freitas. Well, you can put yourself in there. Yeah, you've got to put beef. Beefy can be about at seven.

1:02:57Sir Alastair Cook: You've got to put beef in. Of course you have. You're going at seven. Put not at eight. Put not at eight. Both of them, yeah.

1:03:04Michael Vaughan: Duster. Yeah, just use your finger, Dave. Use your finger. Both of them, Sheva. Right. And another bowler. Who do I play with? Underwood. Colin Dredge. Derek Underwood's a good shout. Yeah, but no. No, I'm not one of the base bowlers. For me, it's Red Titmuth. I'm going to have... Oh, dear.

1:03:24Phil Tufnell: Who do I play with? You play with Warren, did you? No. No.

1:03:29Sir Alastair Cook: Darren Bowlers, Simon Hughes. That's not been rude. Very difficult to concentrate with you, Galaz.

1:03:39Michael Vaughan: What about the cat? What about the cat?

1:03:45Sir Alastair Cook: I've tossed a few. I've got some re-enacted lawns. Thank you very much. He'd fit in there. Who's that? Dilly. Oh, Graham. Dilly, yeah, Dill. Yeah, put it in. Dilly, that's a back with you at the end there. Yeah.

1:03:58Phil Tufnell: And he can bat.

1:03:59Sir Alastair Cook: Yeah.

1:03:59Phil Tufnell: There's a lot of batting there. There you go. That'll do. Well you said somebody to ball quick. He was quick. He was quick.

1:04:06Michael Vaughan: Really good team that. You got the team? That's not far off. Who's your skipper? Border. Border's captain Dave. Put a C next to the wiki keeper. Yeah good team. Very good. Like that. Well done. Marvellous. Someone will ring me up and say why am I not in it. Yeah. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair. Get your bat, get your bat. I want to see you beef with his bat here. What's that? Get your bat. Get your bat. Come on, I want to see you beef with a bat. I've never seen you with a bat in your hand.

1:04:42Phil Tufnell: You know that? I don't think you're going to see it today. I am.

1:04:45Michael Vaughan: What do you think I'm doing? Yeah, I want you with a bat in your hand. Can I use that bat? Huh? What do you want? Yeah. Fernley. Fernley. Just put DF on it. I've never seen you with a bat on that. You can't write on that. You can't write on the bat. It's a sparrow, isn't it? What is it?

1:05:04Sir Alastair Cook: A sparrow.

1:05:05Michael Vaughan: What did you say?

1:05:06Sir Alastair Cook: It's a Len Hutton's. I can't even read it. What are we doing with the bat? Getting to do a demo. Raddy! Slasinger. That's a Slasinger. Come on, I want to see you back in your stands.

1:05:20Michael Vaughan: It's been a while. What's happening here? Oh, here we go. Just give us half an idea of 81. Talk me through. 81. What about here? Yeah, well, I've seen many of that over the year. As a batter. Oh, my job, mate. Just take the whiteboard off. Yeah, Lewis, just... They should side that, beef. Man United, Lewis, Man United, Chelsea, 2018-19 at Stamford Bridge. What was the score? It was 2-2. 2-2? Yeah. Desmond? Ross Barkley and Rudiger scored and then Martial scored twice. right brilliant come on beef what you think the vision really out short leg in place what was your kind of thing what was your kind of thought process what's my thought process yeah I didn't do a lot of thinking

1:06:22Michael Vaughan: Stand still, no trigger? No. No? No. Stand still, watch the ball react. Sometimes it quints the quicks, I stand up a little bit. Did stand up a bit, yeah. What, stand a bit more upright? Yeah. Spinners, they were all going one dollar.

1:06:37Sir Alastair Cook: Ray Bright. But no. You went down, have you got him out? Yeah, he's in short, gave you more room. Through there, through there.

1:06:45Michael Vaughan: Right. So up, there, and if it's up... Hear that? Tough as got an hour. That's the first time I've ever seen him with a bat. Got him out. Well, I'll tell you what. I'm sure it could be my first bat. Len Hutton, aren't I? Lord, do you remember getting out to the cat? I can't remember getting out to the cat, no. Stump, though.

1:07:05Sir Alastair Cook: Stump. You were going downtown, weren't you? For Durham. Going downtown. He was about 75 then. He was about 75. How many did I have? Not many. What was he trying to launch? Massive pads. came out with these massive furlip pads. A lot of those surfboardy things. Trying to fucking whack every ball. There you go.

1:07:28Michael Vaughan: Right, B, we've finished with a few community questions. Here's one. This is from... Who's this from? R-Key. R-Key. Just a bit of advice. What was Bothan's pre-match routine? Well, put it this way, obviously better than the one they're currently doing because we used to win. Well, they weren't the wonderland. You didn't warm up, you had a warm bath, didn't you? I used to have a hot bath. The back, well, nowadays I would have probably played a quarter of what I did play. But a hot bath and Jack at Worcester used to bring me in pork pie. Cut it into a little ice-up piece, English mustard. And a bath.

1:08:16And I'd have coffee. Hot bath and a pork pie. Would you have your pork pie in the bath? No, not in the bath. It's there on the side of the bath. As you're lying back in the bathroom in a pork pie.

1:08:27Michael Vaughan: That's the way. I've seen it. I've seen it at Worcester.

1:08:31Phil Tufnell: I've seen it.

1:08:32Michael Vaughan: Have you seen it?

1:08:33Phil Tufnell: I've seen him in the bath at Worcester.

1:08:34Sir Alastair Cook: Oh, many I do. Cigar? Communal baths. Little cigar. No, it's a case. Yeah, give it wet. Can I have one more? Is it beefy or, what is it called? Beefy or bollocks?

1:08:44Michael Vaughan: Yeah, beefy or bollocks. Was it a tactic that you would take their best player for the opposition down? Say on day one you're like, oh, you're playing against someone. You're like, right, beefy, you're looking after a boarder from Essex and getting lashed because you could perform the next day. Is that beefy or bollocks? Well, it's sort of beefy because I actually... My attitude was I didn't worry about who it was and reputations. So I just played and play as you see it. and people are overconfident, it's too much technical stuff and you go out there and he bowls, you hit. I was talking about after day one, you'd say, right, you're playing against their best player, you'd have a few shandies with him.

1:09:27Oh, yeah. And you would be fine the next day. Oh, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't shandies either.

1:09:35Michael Vaughan: Here you go, if you could replay one match from your career, which one would you pick? Barney. I think I'm going to go for 86. First test at Brisbane. Oh, yeah.

1:09:50Sir Alastair Cook: What are you supposed to burn all about? Well, yeah, because we were totally written off. Yeah. Written off by our own press, the Australian press, the Australian public. So it's always, you know, the Australian public is remarkable. You're not playing against 11 guys. You're playing against 24 and a half million people. Yeah. So, yeah, that was a stepping stone to win the first three tests. Well, did you... The bowling or the batting, what was your...? Oh, batting, yeah. Yeah? And bowling when it's bowling time and catching when it's catching time. Well, yeah, OK. I mean, all those wickets, I remember you said, was it Pakistan?

1:10:27Sir Alastair Cook: How many fivers did you get for England? 27. Yeah. That's the record. And 10 for... Was it Pakistan at Lords or something? 10 for 100. No, that was away, wasn't it? You got 10 for 100 in India. Oh, India. Yeah, I'm sorry. 13 wickets and 100. Yeah, it's a good game, man. It's a good game. A couple of the slips, probably. Busy. Busy, yeah, busy. Busy over a few days.

1:10:52Michael Vaughan: Beef, what piece of advice would you give to someone starting out in cricket now? Very simple. Play, enjoy. Especially the younger kids. Too many parents trying to relive their lives through their child. and for me let them go out there and it's like if you're a golfer what you do first you learn to hit it as far as you can but then you fine-tune it it's exactly the same with cricket guys go out there don't be positive learn learn to hit the ball and once you've done that then you can do become a cookie and block it

1:11:27Sir Alastair Cook: He gets a lot of skips. Top it on. Sir, Alison gets a lot of skips. No, no, no.

1:11:33Michael Vaughan: You're shifting friends, aren't you? Yeah, hang on. No, seriously, I had a lot of time. Seriously, I did. I thought he was a good player from that very first test when you got flown out. You were on air, weren't you? I was on air. Hey, do you remember in the Caribbean once when you took us on a boat and you ripped... Jylo's groin on the old rubber rings when you were oh I did and then I was captain the next day and you were doing the toss and you're asking me about the team it was a dry wicket you didn't ask me why is that a Giles not play he ripped his groin I didn't make it would be dingus did I make him get on there donuts everybody everybody was on him Gialo I'm not surprised Gialo he's not athlete of the year I thought we were finished on that Bifi thanks so much pleasure thank you

1:12:37Sir Alastair Cook: this has been a Global and the Overlap production

1:13:17We'll be right back. Or will this be another year of falling just short? Probably. World Cup Daily. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch full episodes on YouTube. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

1:13:36I'm Eden Scherer. And I'm Brock Charlelli. We played Best Friends on The Middle. And became Best Friends in Real Life. We're here to re-watch The Middle with all of you. Each week, we'll recap an episode with behind-the-scenes stories, guest interviews, and what we think now, many years later. There's a lot to dive into, so let's get to middling.

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