The Ashes: Warne’s Ball of the Century & England’s Glory | Stick to Cricket EP 21

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0:33Oh no, you told me that didn't you? I think it's called rag rolling isn't it? Rag rolling, do you remember that? Have you done any of that? I've done a bit of rag rolling, yeah. I don't mind decorating. No? Painted? No, not forever, but I like hanging wallpaper. What forever? Not forever. No, like all week. Full bridge. I'll do a door, I'll do a door. Yeah, yeah, all in the preparation. Yeah, it is. You've got to sand it down. Get it sanded down. Filled, sanded. Decorators, caulk. Caulk, caulk, caulk. Not caulk. No, you think they put it between the... Preparation. The frames. Yeah, you've got to do all that.

1:16And then a nice undercoat, primer, undercoat. How many coats of gloss? Well, I... Hey, lads! If you really... See, I'm going to rub down the first coat of gloss. That's it? Yeah, and then apply another one. Apply another one. Yeah, lovely. Comes out smooth as anything. Well, that's a good bottle of red. It's in the bar, eh? I didn't realise there was a proper bar. Is there anything in it? Oh, that's a really nice bottle of red wine, that. Oh, go on, then. This is from stick to football. We can lick a bit of this. We'll keep that. We'll keep that. It's French. Well, nice, that. They do a nice drop, the French.

1:50They're not according to Beefy. Oh, do they not? No, that's vinegar. I found a bit of form in my... Remember last time I was off to Brownies benefit game? Have you got a few? Well, I mean, it was a lot better than it was last time. Go on. Well, did you get some runs? Well, I did for me. You got 30. 30? Got 30, yeah. And I hit a six as well, would you believe? Thank you, mate. No, I don't. I don't believe that for a minute. There you go. Thank you. There's another coming. Go on. Hit a six? Hit a six. I've mid on. What, front foot? Hmm. Sort of slog? You reckon? That's right. Moves away to the leg side, gives himself a little bit of room and pumps it into the roundabout at Chelmsford.

2:31Did it go over long on? Long on, dead straight. Quite short. Yeah, and then I got caught on the boundary. 50 metre six. Got a wicket, though. And I got a wicket. And I got a wicket as well. Have a look at his wicket. You'll like this. Was this Young England or something? No, Benefit. Nick Brown. Benefit game, right. This is his ball. This is goodness. this as his first one and watch what happens now Dave have a look at this this is clever now you've just bowled a little swerver now watch this this is smart this look oh he's run up on him he's not ready oh he's not ready it's a no ball he's not giving it plays he's giving it yeah he's out Norman Gifford Norman Gifford used to do that creep up on you creep up on you yeah I've tried it a couple of times.

3:18It works well, hasn't it? Have you had a good weekend? Have you been anywhere with you? Oh, I've been to the Isle of Wight. On a boat. Me mate's got a boat. And we went across there, no lovely, great fun. What sort of boat? Like a big boat. Like a big boat. What was his name? What sort? Sunseeker. It will have a name as well. What was it called? I don't know if he might not want you to know. Oh, is it his? Is it his own boat? Or is it? He's mixing some circles. Oh, no, no, no, no. It's a good boat. went over there and there's a place called the hut where we all had lunch does it is he is he in the mansion living the captain is he did he yes but we know we had a captain because he was gonna have some rose is it about that has staff on board no no no no just the captain no and you you just land in the hut yeah yeah you just pull up there and break on swim ashore you swam in no no no you get a little boat in tender yeah a little tender yeah yeah it was good though all the music everyone on the tables you know like you know what you go oh giving it yeah i like it yeah you get back on the tender then not really no sweet caroline come out yeah yeah we're all falling off that we went on a boat in dubai didn't we oh yeah you and me went on the ball bills bills balls that was it big man city fan yeah that was good oh yeah we went on um getty's boat yeah yeah John Paul get it yeah but Mark Elam got what you know they these hydraulics whatever it is and these jet boats what they call that skates yeah just and then oh that what you Mark Elam go set off and run straight in a rock yeah and it sunk yeah he was a good tourist one he like to you he was a lovely life character.

5:11Well, that's playing that. Sorry, isn't he? He might. Sorry, Bucks. He got, didn't he? He got five LBs in South Africa. Five LBW, they're getting tight. You get right tight here. And Dave Orchard, give them all. Oh, Dave Orchard. Umpire. Good bloke. Not give you so much, did he? I didn't give you so much. Which umpire gave you something? Because yours? Sam Cook. No, he wouldn't know. Who was the little fella who used to go like that? Lloyd Barker. Yeah, Lloyd Barker. Yeah, yeah. Did he give you a few? He gave me a few. He was all right. Ken Palmer, Kenny. Good. Yeah.

5:56I tell you what, young Bumble, he gives a few, doesn't he? He does. He's in out. He's all in out. I've said, keep the game moving. Keep the game moving. Yeah. Oh, I'll tell you who else, of course, as well. Ray. Ray Doologne. Yes, lovely Ray. Lovely Ray. What a top man. Was it Ray who had the motorhome? Yes, it was. He used to have another. There was a Roy Palmer. Yeah, he had a converted bus. Roy? Right, yeah. No, was it Kenny? What Lord of them used to have a caravan? Roy used to have the old big hat, didn't he? Yeah. Lord of them would have a caravan, wouldn't they? Here you go. Here you go.

6:33Judge Ray Bean. Judge Ray Bean, that's him. He did. That's it. That's him. Judge Ray Bean. There's loads of them had caravans. You used to park on the ground and use the facilities. You save your expenses. I was going to say, save your expenses. We were playing North Ends. We needed to get two wickets. Got it Monday morning, glorious day. And got the first one early. And then this number 11's come in. We couldn't get him out. And it's about five minutes before we go off for lunch. we're all going oh we've got to go off for lunch you know i mean we have to warm up warm down this bloody number 11's bugger that's right up like that so it's last over before lunch i bowled it hiss him on the back you know sort of you know just played it like that and then as i'm walking back an unnamed umpire of mine said any toughers i said yeah he said just hit him on the pads and I went sorry sorry he said just hit him on the pads this bloke's batting me into a traffic jam who would that be?

7:42not me I know well I think he's already been mentioned top man keep the game moving you're right mum you're right I like it I mean Dickie were a complete not outer absolutely Dickie were just not out nobody wanted to bowl at Dickie's end not out No, and if he gave you if he gave you out it come up to after I'm really sorry about having to give you out like that. He said I thought you were batting really well When you when you umpire did you give out batsmen you didn't like? No, that's not one already as in like you must Don't really like you so I just keep sweat. No, I like everybody Like everybody Everybody?

8:24Yeah. No, not everybody. There's only a couple that I've... So you never did that one? No. And I'll tell you something, I always used to think that we always used to get sawn off a little bit as number 11s. You know? No, well, hold on, hold on. I always used to think, oh, crikey, I think I might have been sawn off there a little bit. But as I've got older, I think the umps were doing it to actually save me. You know what I mean? Yeah. All right, Phil, it was just slipping down. Yeah, but you were going to get hurt. Yeah, yeah. We'll keep you out here for another hour if you want. When was the last game you umpired?

9:03First class. First class? Yeah, which was your last game? 86, somewhere around there. And did you know that was your last game? Mexico, Mexico 86. No. World Cup. No, I would... Mexico and the game. I'd got, I'd been given a one-day international, but they withdrew me from umpiring and put me in charge of quick cricket. Do you remember that? Plastic bats. And so I did that. So you were head and part and then you went to cricket again. Yeah. Yeah, big career. It was. It was. Yeah. In Mexico, 86, remember the England kit? It had holes in it because it was going to be so hot. Well, we used to have a cricket bat with holes in.

9:41The cheese. The Duncan Fernley cheese master or something. Was it the Run Reaper? Was it Run Reaper? I thought it was the Swiss cheese bat.

9:55i think i might have had one of them oh thank you i had a few better sponsors he he he managed me at football didn't you dave remember that we're going to get on to ash's memories that's one of my ashes memories that's yeah down down in australia what year would that have been 16 16 17 was it 2 16 17 no it wasn't before that was it 13 14 yeah i'd say 13 14 he managed the team didn't you managed the football team the media football team versus perth glory yep all right yeah and and i had like dean dean wilson were in goal from the daily mirror yeah uh award he were playing he were up and down the wing ward in ward all right yeah uh lawrence booth was good player little action man and i substituted paul newman from the daily mail i substituted him about 11 times yeah and i substituted him once when he hadn't even kicked the ball just going come off yeah you better not he turned up late bad buddy yeah deal with him later get yourself on there yeah i want to see a real big performance from him scored an absolute worldie yeah yeah top corner curler yeah and then i changed we were two we were down two one down i changed tactics i put gideon gideon brooks from cool player express but then quick quick put him up front much room three two oh no the daily express it's called daily express three celebrating women because he left me on the bench didn't you because i was late you beat perth glory yeah well well well yeah he were playing for him not ricky rick astley robbie fowler he wasn't playing he didn't play he were for this story oh yeah i remember him yeah that's striking yeah he played for him he were a guest jimmy carrigan jimmy carrigan gone across with robbie fowler sleep play we sorted him out you yeah you nutmegged him didn't you give him a bit of that yeah we celebrated with my shirt off did you yeah i did and i kicked the advertising the advertising board that broke his foot yeah that's just come out for the next test yeah it was a good game it was pitch was long one that's grass was long yeah the grass was long might get that going again this winter actually that game that's a big pitch i wouldn't go you'll be there you'll be there won't you you could manage again i'll manage again yeah yeah you changed that did you two one up yeah you went from the diamond to the christmas tree yeah that's it what i won't i won't we played um why do they always go like that on the football Was formation down up and down a bombing on our formation was 443.

12:34Yeah, that's too many Well, no if he drops back a bit. Oh if he just drops back a bit, you're okay I'm all right. What do you mean 443 443? So four at the back four in the middle three up front. Yeah, yeah, what I know What is it going to keep a yeah, but one of them up front just dropped back a bit back into goal No, into me first goalie So then you've got four, five, two. You need a keeper. Yeah, we've got a keeper. That's 12 then. When they... When they... You've got all three. I wonder we won't we have 12 on. I'll shove him off then, I'll bring him off. Come on. Let's do it. Before we get started, I'd like to thank our partners, Betfair.

13:19So just hit subscribe so you don't miss an episode. Enjoy the show.

13:27You know, about four fourth ball of the over, I go to the ump and me left in the over ump. And I said it to a bloke called Peter McConnell. Yes. And he turned round and said, Count them yourself, you pommy. Who produces the best cricketers? Dead simple, north or south. Wokesy toughers. There you go. Lovely. Shoulder right. Get better. Listen, sorry mate, but we've just decided you haven't made the squad and we've put some in both of it. That was the first time I sledge someone. I sledge my bounce. What did you say? I say. I say. That's terrible. I say. What are you wearing? Oh, well, there you go.

14:05Look at the old shorts you've got. I didn't realise you had the legs out. Worn at five. What, the ball of the century? No chance happened in the game, did it?

14:18Waiting on! Oh!

14:23All right, let's get on with this this week. It's all about Ash's memories to start with. Is it? Yeah, we'll move on to something else in a bit, but this is about Ash's memories. And I'm gonna give you six Ash's memories, and you've gotta rank them from one to six. Oh, okay. And then we'll go on to some of your own memories, but we'll start. So we've got Shane Warne's Ball of the Century. Oh, played in that game. Did ya? Yeah. Did you spin it? Yeah, I did. I've got a twofer. I've got twofer. Mark Ward caught and bowled. Balled. Caught and bowled. And I think it was Mark Taylor caught short leg.

14:57Good ball that was. Ball of the century. Mike Gatting. Yeah, Mike Gatting. So that's Shane Wann's ball of the century. We've got a rank of that. Sorry, as a spin bowler, they say, if you spin it the width of the bat, you're usually in business. That day, he spun it the width of Gat.

15:16That's how much it turns. Was that right? Was that delivery just before lunch? Is that right? Yeah, Gagat was getting a little bit hungry. No, it was a belter. Poor old Gagat. Botham's Heroics at Headingley, 81. Steve Smith, double son at Lord's, 215. Were you pointing that? Don't remember that too much. Stokes pulls off The Miracle at Headingley, 90. Oh, it's got to be up there. Flintoff at Edgbaston, I promise that over to Ponting and Ponting. Stuart Broad tears the Aussies apart in 250. So we've got a rank, though six. Good luck. Can I start with a Steve Smith double century at Lord's as number six?

16:01I can't even remember it. Definitely. 100%. 100%. I can't remember. I was commentating on it, fell asleep halfway through. Did you? Yeah. What, you didn't? Didn't do much. Just a... Come on, somebody got a big ton of... I couldn't see him. Get your... I like you when you do that.

16:20How many more times have you got to walk out there like that? Like I couldn't do it anymore, you know what I mean?

16:37Waiting on! Couldn't do it anymore. Four hours I was doing that. Number six. Number six. Might be number one. He must burn a lot of calories. He must carbo-load. Hell of a player. Hell of a player. Brilliant player. So we'll put you at six. Yeah. Right, so you've got, you know, Warne, Botham, Stokes at Eddie Lee, Flint's off 05. Warne at 5. What, the ball of the century? No tells happened in the game. Was it a draw? was that draw he was playing all he lost that's why gucci punched it as well off a hundred and he got under the knee second did you lose that game yeah i think so i can't remember i can't remember we was all watching any of your games we was all watching it we was all watching him remember old trafford up the top yeah yeah little telly on the wall yeah yeah yeah because we didn't have anything there you know we hadn't we had didn't have any analysis or anything like that and so So someone's, we all have a shower, we bowl first.

17:40And then someone's sort of gone, here on lads, we better have a look round here. We better have a look at this lad. Warna, he won't be any good. Leggy, bowl you cut the bad ones, bowl you cut the short ones, every over. So we're sort of all standing round the telly and he bowls this ball. And we've all just gone fucking hell. Was that his, that was the first ball? First ball is first ever delivery in the ashes. so in essence it was a loosener and we've all just stood there stood there oh hey they hold stuff do they still do those Eccles cakes no no no they should get them in the dress room yeah I don't know I don't did it dressing yeah remember those Eccles cakes you can't raise it now it's but p.m.

18:26and or at p.m. or oh yeah right you can know how do you know I can't go in there's security oh security security right so you're putting warn his ball of the century at five well it's up for discussion yeah it was a one let's go through delivery wasn't it yeah both of them heroics at head and leave that's right that's got to be up there that's right is that better than stokes is it i don't think so is it stokes is in cummins hazelwood don't forget bob got eight for in that game yeah gets forgotten about yeah bob eight for 34 that's his action bob bob was it you know Bob thought that he bowled like Fred Truman he thought that he had a classic actually saw himself ball it would have been that much in terms of video no technology they saw himself on the replay on the telly he was horrified great ball oh yeah big big quick what about broadie the 8 4 brilliant 8 for 15 and you know I'm gonna say that off Trent bridge did you two playing I think you did all of the i did the commentary commentary with blowers yeah blowers had to go and have a lie down after the first 20 minutes the first half hours yeah well he was going he's got a he's got another one of steam coming out of his ears everything it was amazing i think we should get blowers on this show he was brilliant yeah i reckon yeah i mean yeah well we did that i was on first with blowers and i think we got in that 20 minutes we got four or something depends on

20:02four in the first oh it was amazing it was other than that there were no more in the first he got eight for 15. and it was a boring yeah four in the first two ohs who won it was a good it was a it was a it was a special morning was that the ashton agar game no that was that another one that's all right that's when we were back in by quarter quarter yeah it was it it was sensational And Stokes, he got the finger. Caught in the claw. Yeah, caught in the claw. Brilliant. Claw catch. So where are we putting that, Brodie? Well, it's not... I think that's going to be three, isn't it? What's four? What could be four?

20:41We haven't got four yet. Oh, we've lanced off at Hedgbaston. Yeah, that's four. That's four. Is that more impressive? Great or... But is that... Should that not be below Warn? Because more people have seen Warns. and the ball of century surely the ball the best ball ever in a century has got to be better than one over which is a great over but it's not everyone gone that's the over of the center that's a good point yeah the ball century is famous yeah that over is a like you had to be into cricket and you really haunting said it was the greatest over he ever faced oh did he so that's great as six balls i'd tell you that's not great as well you've got no board in there as well yeah i'll tell you another great over that fred bold was against jack callis now i know he plays for South Africa yeah yeah because there was a there was a problem with the side screen and we batted and we batted with the side screen as it was and South Africa tried to get another yeah they wanted another bit of tarpaulin put to the side and I said no chance I was playing because we'd batted like no one knows I said Freddie why did the crease Yorkers yeah and they couldn't see it they still won they still won the game by the way they shouldn't have done no it was uh smith smith got this one didn't he moment it's uh sure i remember that was the that's the first time i sledged someone i sledge might bounce what did you say i'll tell you what it takes you like i remember because he was moaning about it and i just said why don't you just let the umpires umpire thinking i was piping up anyway he then just turned around and just abuse the hell out of me my ass fell out and just i don't have a comeback did you oh good good fair enough yeah yeah but cheers mate well played uh right so we're putting uh can we get this to the six please can we uh so we've got smith at six yes where broad and flintoff where we're putting those two i've got to say broad ahead of flint I'm a broader head of Flint.

22:36Freddie Five. What's number one? Both of them, 81, do you think? No, I'm going to... I might have to say... It's hard for me, for the both of them, because obviously I wasn't born, so it wasn't like... But the effect that had on the country was incredible. Yeah. Like, as it changed the whole series, and they won that series, didn't they? Yeah. I was listening to your commentary, Sir Alistair, when you described it, and I think you said that was probably the greatest ever... Innings. Innings. by a Englishman you will ever see. I generally don't think you can play it any better. I don't think I was in the car stuck in a traffic jam.

23:11You'd already left, did you? Well, OK, so it's between Botham and Stokes, one and two. Go on then, Boonball, come on. Bit of experience from your end. The five days at Edinburgh, 81, there were 50 ,000 people in total for five days, like 10 ,000 a day. and went to old trafford after that you know you gotta remember beefy would have been hung over as well was it because they had that day off didn't they yeah rest day he got all the aussies to his his house for a barbecue on the sunday yeah and got them soft stuff yeah the only thing that that did win them the series didn't it that changed the whole series thing to that house and then stokesy they'd only draw that series does that matter oh i think that does matter i really do Yeah, beefy beefy on the series, but I've been to beef his house You've been beef his house when he has a lake and it was his barbecue I've seen him fall in the lake doing the barbecue doing the barbecue wolf Was it all of a clatter?

24:10It wasn't a better innings than Stokes's Stokes's was innings purely innings was the best More influence was the influence of the innings and remember. This is both of them's heroics at Head and Lift. So it's a whole game. Well, hold on. But Bob, if it was Bob, had to be included. Sorry. He got six in the first, didn't he? You carry on. He got six in the first, didn't he? We wouldn't have been in that position if Stokesy hadn't have bowled all day before. And he got a fourfer, did he? And got a fourfer. Ish. Ish. But he bowled like 18 overs on the top to get us back into the game. Both of them had more help.

24:51What was Willis and Stokes, he almost did it on his own. Did someone else call Run to that game? I'm going Stokes. Sorry, Beefy. Stokes. Because I didn't see Beefy's thing. Stokes it is, then. Stokes, number one. Beefy, number two. Broad three. Yeah. Where are we at, though? Steve Smith, double century, six. Freddie Bowling. Freddie Bowling. What was the last one? Oh, and Walney. Yeah, Warne is one for Fred 5. Fred 5, OK. That's it. That's the top six. That's it. Yeah, nice. We're happy with that. Discos. Yeah, that's it. We've done it. Well done. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair.

25:34Any other Ashes memories from your time touring? I remember, yeah. First Ashes, 1990. I've gone over there. All the boys are saying, you really know that you're going to be involved in a sort of a really sort of battle and everything. and I was thinking to myself, oh, that's a cricket, it's only a game of cricket. You know what I mean? And so I've got tossed the ball on my debut, MCG, bowled the first couple of overs, don't particularly remember too much about it. But then I asked, I used to have like a little tick, you know, about fourth ball of the over, I go to the ump, and we left in the over ump, like that.

26:08And I said it to a bloke called Peter McConnell. Yes. And he turned around and said, count them yourself, you pommy bastard. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER I went, fuck you there. Here we go. I think we are in a bit of a match here. The umpire. Even the umpire said it to me. Any other Ashes memories? I remember in 97, that first game at Edgston, when Nasser and Thorpe got all those runs and they pumped. First time I reckon I've ever seen or remember England beating Australia. I know there's only one and up. I genuinely... Were you coach? 97? Yes. I genuinely thought they were going to win the Ashes and then got pumped 4-1.

26:47What, 3-2? 3-2. But your 3-1 down. You went to Lorde's second game, didn't you? Yeah, McGrath then came back. Yeah, 3-2. The final game at the Oval, Mark Wallen said that he just said he couldn't ball. He got him out twice in the same game and they needed 120-odd to win and Caddick bowled them out. That was a good one. These was a good one. At Brisbane, when you got 267... 2-3-5. 2-3-5. 517 for one in the second inning. So at the Gabba, and I'm sort of lead commentary. We were over there. And I've sort of set the scene. I say, well, it's a packed house. There's not a soil in the ground. I say, it's a packed house.

27:36It's fancy dress day. They've all turned up as plastic. I think we've got a great game in prospect. And then he gets on to this 235, 517 for one. We're looking at the field. There's two slips, there's a gully, there's a cover mid-off. Two slips, a gully, there's only 10. Then we see a fielder who's between the non-striking batter and the umpire down in a catching position. Between non-striking batter and the umpire. He's down there. Oh, he's there, a little guy. He's down there. that there's a wag in the crowd, a barracker in the crowd, and Ricky Ponting's captain. He says, good thinking, Ricky.

28:14The last catch that went to Silly Me Don was 100 fucking years ago. There's bound to be another one soon. We were in stitches, because you could hear this voice booming. There's nobody in the ground. I'll tell you another good one, another good one that reminds me. you was on the radio or the telly and Armisen's first ball. Yeah, yeah. Brisbane. Bowled it straight to Freddie and everyone's gone like that. And all of a sudden Bumble's turned around and said, usually when it goes to second slip, it's followed by an appeal.

28:51I remember 2003, last game we win in Sydney. We lose 4-1. Remember the, what's the dressing room attendant called? Yeah, yeah. Rocky. Rocky used to put all these messages on the wall, didn't he? Is he not the guy in Adelaide? Who's the one in Adelaide who bats at the end of every... He used to bat bats. Rocky's definitely Sydney. Anyway, we drink with the Aussies in their dressing room. We've been in there all in our whites. I think the then Prime Minister, John Howard, he came in for a pint. We're there for a few hours and then we're going out the ground and everything's shut down. You know the Gatorade truck that comes out onto the pitch?

29:25Yeah. While I'm walking out with Butch, John Crawley. I think Keyesie, Rob Key. So John Crowley went, I've got to get back to the hotel. Gets in the buggy. He drives us out of the SCG, going down the road. We're at the lights and the coppers pulled in and went, Mr Crowley, you better just take that back, please. We're going to go through King's Cross.

29:50Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair. Right, we've got a heated exchange this week in association with Betfair. This is a good one. We're going to need Kieran. We're going to need some paper and some pens, Kieran. That's all right. Oh, it's tough. Right, the heated exchange is very simple. Phil, you're from Barnet, yeah? Yeah. Down south. Dave, Akrington, up north. Who produces the best cricketers? Dead simple, north or south. We're talking England cricketers. I'm going to be with you, Dave, because I'm a northerner. Sir Alistair, you're going to be with Phil, a southerner. first and foremost as the chairs both Dave and Phil you've got to just give me a 30 seconds of why just not just necessarily with cricket but why is the south better than the north and why is the north better than the south who wants to go first cookie can be chair no no I think why why do you think the south is better than the north okay then I will say that the south is better than the north because it all starts as you two boys know and it might be Dave captaincy captaincy, a team is driven on by the captain.

30:59And I think that the South has had more England captains than the North. And also the home of the cricket. And that's where the home is. So that's all you've got. That's all you've got to talk about the South. Dave, just talk about the North. Why is the North better than the South? I've never heard such a stupid question. There's only one answer. That's the North. It's where it breeds cricketers. The north is full of cricketers. And that's why the ECB and the Wisdom are not putting any cricket, any Test Match cricket in the north in 2000. Trent Bridge, that's the furthest north. It's ridiculous.

31:38And so your question is crackers, because the north produces all the greatest cricketers. Where are we splitting the north, by the way? North of Watford. North of Watford Gap. I'll just start the first start. Let me give you three great all-rounders. Yeah, both of Storks Flintoff All right, but you can only play one of them in your team. Why we pick our team I reckon I like surely the way to debate the argument. Hey and the home of cricket. Oh, yeah three test matches in Including the women's four well for four including the three at large And and you can get a pint at Lord's for about nine quid well Lord's low quid HQ oh yeah I'm a skill I bet the only I've got it Oh pen my England's best-ever 11 was chosen in 2000 I'll say 18 by who by who by the fans so this is including everybody in the fact right so it was in like Bob Willis at 11 always one of us he's one of us Willis Is he born in Sunderland?

32:44Played for Surrey. Played about ten matches for Surrey. Still Surrey, started at Surrey. Willis. Willis, that's one. Thanks. We had to give them Jimmy and Fred Truman. Right. That's two to them. Then Swanee, South. Thank you very much. Northampton. So you're having Northampton, are you? It definitely has to be South. Well, it's Northampton. Yeah, but it's below Watford Gap. Alan Knott. Oh, yeah, it's Stumper. Stumper. Yeah. So he's south. Your team is it? Well, no, I'm just, this is not our team. Alan Nottie's going to Garaint Jones. We'll have Matt Pryor if you want him as well. You, Matt Pryor?

33:21So you can have Beefy. You can have Beefy. This is what's voted for. So Beefy's from the north, so I played for Somerset. Oh, Sir Alistair, you're in. Well, and then Rooty, he's north. And then the top four was somehow myself, Sir Len Hutton, Gower and Peterson. So actually, I think it's 6-5 to the south. Is Kevin... Well, that's in 2018. It's the last time. The last, well, they had beefy, so you can have beef swapping if you want to beefy. We'll go Jimmy Anderson at 11, Dave, yeah? Yeah. Fred Truman. Absolutely. Fred Truman, son. Think of some more. Well, I'm just, well, yeah, I'm just... No, we said from 1990.

33:58Oh, from 1990, yeah. You can't say it's 65. Fred Truman's, he's coach. No. Need a bit more pace, could be. Angus Fraser. Angus Fraser. I thought you said you needed more pace. What I was going for was that we had the South have six and the North had five in the best ever vote So I thought that was a good argument But we now my argument was the captains are played under Played under a few actually Gat Gooch What are you saying? That was in the days where they used to just pick the captaincy from the MCC Butcher on it you in your time. It was about who's the poshest? No, it's a bit only from Newton.

34:38No, but after that that back in your time it was all back in maritime mike denessa a lovely fellow might they only played tony greg yeah they were good good blokes yeah yeah yeah mike denessa was a really nice job well who we got we got a guy so she needs some more um stokes it's a gooch gooch yeah who's our keeper gower gower warren egg

35:08Peterson at four? Peterson at four. A block called Root. Root's at four. So we're talking from the 90s, so Boots can't get in. Did he play in 91? Middle order. He wouldn't have played better. Robin Smith. Alan Lamb. Judgey or Lambie? You paid them. I'd probably say... Ball. Hold on. Bumble. I'll sneak in at three. Yeah, I need a three. Coach, can you answer me a question? Who would you rather have on your side? Alan Lamb or Robin Smith? Alan Lamb. Yeah, fair enough. We need some more batters here, Dave. Are we having not ahead of Pryor? No, no. Well, it's going back too far. Pryor. No, no, no.

35:54We're flying along. You haven't written any down yet. Come on, get all your all-rounders in there. We haven't got any quick bowlers. You've got to have beefy in. Who's our spinner? Spinner. Norman Cowan. Raleigh. No. Derek Pringle. Has he got swan? I think we should argue beefy. No, I don't think we're not allowed beefy. OK. We need a couple of middle orders. Yeah, we need a spinner. No, we got a spinner. We need a... We'll have that one in. That's a pace bowler. Oh, Graham Dilley. Malcolm, where's Devin Malcolm? Devin Malcolm, Derbyshire. Dilley. Is he 90s? Yeah. Adil at number eight. Prior to seven, we need a six and a seven.

36:46We're getting wickets. We're not getting many wickets. We're bowling you out. We're not getting... Steely Willis. We need an all-rounder. An all-rounder. Richard Ellison. Yeah. Ellie. Ely. Mark Ely. Mark Ely. We need two openers. Others. Oh, how have we not got Stewie? Stewie could back six. Stewie, Alex. We could go it through if we wanted. How have we forgotten? We haven't forgotten. Stewie could go it through. Well, anyway, we could change the order, can't we? Geoffrey Boycott. Let's up. Stuart, have we forgotten the governor, the gaffer? We need one more pace bowler. Just check if Jeff Boycott played in the 90s.

37:29And the Sey did. Have you got the Sey in? No. No. You better ring him up, Kat. Ring Nasser and tell him. Is he in the team, is he? No, he's not. No, tell him he in. OK. You tell him he's not in, Nass. Tell him he's in. Is he in your squad? No. No. He's in a squad. Well, he's... Oh. Sorry. Nass. Yes, Tuffers. Hello, mate. Yeah, no, I'm fine. Yeah, you all right? Yeah, lovely. OK, listen, we're just doing a... We're just picking a sort of a south best of versus the north best of. I'm... I'm sorry, mate, but... You haven't made the squad. Oh, Christ! LAUGHTER Oh, God. Oh, the language. Oh, my God!

38:13OK, mate, all the best. Take care. Love to all. Love to the family. But not happy, Nass. Not happy. He'd have thought he were a shoe in there. Who have you put it? Three, is that it? Gower. It's from 1985. I'll tell you what, I've got it. Yeah, 1985. I've heard you speak about this before, coach, as well. Gower or Thorpe? Oh. Is it Thorpe's better than Lamb? Thorpe's better than Lamb? Huh? I haven't thought of having Lamb. Me too. You haven't thought that thought perhid a lemme. Yeah, Harry Brooke

39:03Push him down

39:08We've forgotten an absolute We've got a good side here now. We've got a good side. You've got a better side. No Well, listen, we could have another batter there or bowler instead of that fella, because he can keep wicket. Hey, can you ring... He's not out of interest. Ring Nassir back and ask him, ask him, would he like to commentate on the game? Yeah, get him in the commentary. Go on, ring him back. Ring him back. Commentary. Give him a day rate. That's as tough as it gets. I'm terribly sorry about the news and all that and everything, but there is a vacancy for commentary.

39:43I think it's a day rate contract. Day rate. Day rate contract. Oh, my God. Oh, I think he's gone. Has he gone? He's gone. I tell you, we might have missed. We missed some big... So Nottingham's us, yeah? Stuart Broad. Oh, yeah. He's south. He lives in Wimbledon. Hey, Stuart. Swanee played for Nottingham, didn't he? Yeah, but he started North Hance. He started North Hance. We're having Broad here as well, surely. We mean the 12? We're a bit of a light on bowling. We can't get injured. Who have we missed? Broad over Armisen. Are we going Armisen or Broad? Oh, Army. Armisen or Broad? Ugly Bowlery.

40:31Ugly. Or a baller. I need a spinner. Do we hell? Or are we going like the Westerners of the 80s? All out paced. These guys can bowl a lot. Root balls a bit. I can twilt two out of them. You can twilt a few. We've literally got four balls. Would you get Brodie and Raddle machine? Just let me ring this. Let me... It's my mate. I'll ring it. Here, get Nass back on. He's ringing Nass again. Go on. Hold on. No, no, it's tough as his form. Nass, it's Bumble here. There's no need for that. Jesus. What's up with him? What's the matter with you? Oh, Ealy, Ealy, Ealy. Right, Kieran, you're going to have to come in here.

41:23Middlesex, Middlesex, all round of downs.

41:29Surrey. Don Topley. Sussing. I wonder what he did play, did he? We can win last. Sacco. I'll tug it. He was a good cricketer, Suggs. He was. Suggs is possibly Derek Pringle. We're going to miss something. When we find out who we've missed, we're going to... I'll tell you what, they're panicking it and they can't get a team. And we've got a team. They haven't even got 11. We don't need Pryor and Stewart. We're going heavy on the bat, aren't we? Yeah, we need another bowler. There's a big tumpty wicket-keepers there. Have we got Pryor? We don't need... They've got the firemen, Geraint Jones. We don't need them.

42:04We've got a team our day. What a team that is. ball out pace we're playing with our batting we're playing with green seamer oh oh yeah well great brilliant greens green seamer it is okay then uh kieran do you want to come in and adjudicate you will be the voice of reason at the end to decide on who's got the best team the north versus the south we don't need a ball we've got three balls and seen us one should we pick up davis chairman you can read the team out the team is yeah all right his cameras are rolling cameras The numbers are rolling, Dave. The northern side to represent the north. This is the northern team.

42:43Atherton. Boycott. Boy. Vaughan. Root. Brook. Stokes. Bairstow. Flintoff. Broad. Harmison. Anderson. All those. There's 50 wickets in that team, not there's 20, Phil. Oh, we're going to get days off here. They just said the green seed. We got him. He got Sachin Tendulkar. We'll play him on a flat one. We can't decide the pitch. We're from the home of cricket. We make the rules. So Gooch and myself, apparently, go top two. Gower at three. Peterson at four. Thorpe at five. Stewart at six. Pryor at seven. Wokesy eight. Dilly nine. Swanny 10 Oh Willis Each other

43:43We're a bowler light come on. I knew if we missed out of that bowl. Oh snowy and willish that's a good I'm adding someone to the squad. Oh, Mark would more pace. We'll play on a flat one

44:03Archer Archer there you go well instead of who though okay

44:11Archer works here seven yeah walks at seven on a flat one we've missed a load of boys out there we have our memories steady one out there have we missed anyone else Kieran it's up to you I'm picking them off obviously that's just like Where's he from? Is there a reason behind it? Where are you from? A lot of it's... I've watched pretty much all of that team. Yeah. There's a place to laugh. But where are you from? That. That. That. That. That. You'll never get us out. Cook, Gooch, Gower, Peterson, Thorpe, Stewart. You're never getting us out. So you're going to need about four different dressing rooms.

44:57None of them get on, Phil. You're a bit light on bowling. Are you a coach? Where are they going to sit? Exactly. Where are they going to sit? They're sitting next to each other. He don't get on with him. He thinks he's a complete arsehole. That is mad, isn't it? Could you think of a Southern all-rounder? By the way, Beefy don't make either of the teams. Does he? Beefy don't get in. How great is that all-rounder? But can we not have it? I did say, I did say... Haven't we haven't been Beefy? I'm not ringing Beefy. I'm not ringing Beefy. We told him from the North, though. We wanted him from Somerset.

45:27Could we have him from Somerset? Well, he played for Durham. We played at Somerset. No, but he played at Somerset mainly. Where's Worcester? He played at Worcester. He's west, south-west. South-west. So we can have beefy. We can have beefy. We can have beefy. Go on, who are you leaving out now? So let me ask, is beefy or Wokes? Are you getting rid of Wokesy? He's such a nice bloke. Lovely bloke Wokesy. Wokesy's a good friend of the show, by the way. Now, you see, that makes our side now look completely different. the all-rounders i'll ring walksy i'll just ring more but he's right he'll be happy to be in the squad he'd be very happy wouldn't he you want to ring you ring walks he'd be very happy he won't mind he won't mind at all you ring him walk well won't see toughers lovely mate how you going lovely shoulder right get better lovely good luck um listen um sorry mate but we've just decided You haven't made the squad and we've put Suri and Botham in.

46:27Absolutely fine. Lovely. No, great. Listen, all the very best. Love to all. Take care. Cheers, mate. He said he wouldn't. He's not like Nass, is he? Love to all. He'll not speak to us ever again, I said. What do you reckon Phil Tuffner average in Australia with the bat in hand? Oh, well, no. With the bat? with the batting hand in australia three and a half no not that much more in australia 12 matches in us yeah i'm going five i'm going seven right let's start oh sorry this is the old time ashes this is home and away this is ashes cricket yeah play pretty well at home five seven i'm going to record his high score is what's your high score against australia it's double figures not double figures eight eight top scorer the average uh 2.72 no two seven hey i bowled all right against you best of seven 66 yeah yeah how many did i get how many did get 36 wickets in how many games 12.

47:37that's all three again all right that's good that's all right that's good 76 that would be the oval wouldn't it over no no no oval You said they have a Cheeky little for for its um, Brisbane. Yeah, what did I'm what it? Yeah, Chris member Chris Martin wasn't he voted the worst ever number And listen come on what did he have? Yeah, because he went to nets on his bicycle and couldn't carry his back so he never Nets on his bicycle He must have he must have averaged more than two what did Chris Martin average? You know I said the word he was both at worst number 11 or he is the thing he's worse I'm just...

48:15He can't be. When I got going, I was all right. When you got to your eight, you were in. When I got myself in. Stick to Cricket is brought to you by Betfair. Right, lads, we're finishing off with some community questions. All right, good. This is a good one. Who is the greatest cricketer to have never played for the national team? I'll start with one. Oh, of course. I think Glenn Chapel of Lancashire. He played though. He played a one day. A test. A test match. Research. Yeah. Test. Did he play? He did, because I reckon he went to Ireland and played and got injured. Because I was in that squad.

49:02I reckon he played. I don't think he played. I think he bowled and he got injured. Bowling. I don't show myself a look. Well, carry on, carry on chatting. I'm going to throw James Hildreth just as a name. Somerset. So I'm saying the era I played in a bit. He got talked about. It's called a lot of runs. Hey, we've got over 50, I reckon over 50 first half hundred. Yeah. Matty Maynard played, didn't he? Yeah, yeah. You're right. He played one one day game. I reckon against Ireland. Yeah. Balls face seven. I don't think he bowled, does he? He not bowled? I'm going back a long, long time, but he would be acknowledged this guy as the greatest who never played for England I want you to look up his record he played for Glamorgan hmm Don Shepherd and so in the sort of 50s 60s short legger Don Shepherd tall boy off cutters so uncovered pitches uncovered pitches tall yeah accurate Don Shepard County cricket read his record out was he a bowler you should know your history of the game Don Shep averages nine with the bat no but 2 ,218 wickets a lot at 21 apiece brilliant absolute best of nine for 47

50:36I've got one for you. Jacob Bethel. Oh no, he has played.

50:44He should be captain of everything. I'll tell you what, because he's fresh. He's fresh, he's ready to go. 21. Oh gosh. 21 year old who don't play cricket. Oh God, well I think you've named it Eddie. I've won something or not. Can I just take you back to when we had Wazeem Akram? Yeah. And Wazeem said when I was 21, I wanted to play every game going. Yep, yep. Every game going. Wazeem sat there saying that. 21 year old, I wanted to play everywhere. See what I don't get in cricket, so if you look at someone like Scottie Scheffler, best golfer in the world for this series, he plays every week. Practices every day, plays every week, gets better and better and better.

51:23In cricket, they play less. Why? I get it with bowlers. Strenuous. On the body, it's not easy, but batters, surely. You just want to bat, don't you? I'd have thought so. Batting, batting, batting, batting. I don't get the... I get you get to a point where eventually you do need a bit of a break. Like, you can just... Mentally. Just mentally to get away. Yeah, just get away for a couple of weeks. It's amazing what happened in those couple of weeks. So get away and think, right, don't think about the game. But how else do you... Because hitting the ball, I always thought it was that kind of match hardness or match.

51:57You could hit loads of balls, but remember your first game in pre-season when all you've done is hit inside in February, March. And then you get out there and it's just so different. I agree. So different. When there's fielders and stuff, I just don't... I do not get how not playing in games can benefit. That mental process when you're out in the middle, you get one chance. Yeah. You get one chance. But you're suddenly under pressure straight away. Just by even stepping over the white line is a totally different feeling from walking the net. You've got your two bats there, you've practiced shots and I don't get it.

52:27A bowler has five overs, so he has 30 events to get you out. You can make one mistake and you go and sat down. Play. You've got to play. And I reckon I could still bowl nicely now. When obviously you can't bat nicely now anymore, can you? I don't know. I've just taken a step forward. You need to get your eye in, don't you? Do you know you can still bowl? Oh, yeah. You're kidding. When was the last game of... No, no, but I can still bowl all right. When's the last benefit game you played or charity game? Could you? Five years ago, yes. We've got... What about a stick to cricket charity game? Yeah, I could still bowl.

53:04I can't. I've played a little bit. I'm quite old. I can't land it. I can't get it 22 yards. Oh, God. What about next year? Perhaps I can't. Stick to cricket benefit game. What about this? Charity game. Next year, stick to cricket charity game. What are you wearing? Oh, well, there you go. The old shorts you've got on. I didn't realise you had the legs out. I had the legs out. Blackpool. He's come straight. Cookie, there's one here for you, actually. Sir Alistair Cook, what was it like facing Mourney Morkle? Ugly. He got me outside. When you knew full well he was going to get you out. Oh. Yeah, well, I tell you what, I don't, I was half considered like a mentally strong player.

53:52Everyone said that was my point of difference. Yet when I faced him, no matter what I did, I couldn't overcome the fact he always got me out. I don't know. So maybe I wasn't mentally strong. I think the one bit right at the end where I knew that he had the wood over me was I was playing against Surrey. And I think it was his last year. I think I might have had one more. He just pulled me this rank long off. you know, Sean White and I'd hit it straight at a point in the end, like catching practice. And every other bowler, I would have just, like... How many times did he get you out, do you know?

54:21Well, I reckon he got me out 13 times. Well, I'll include the Surrey one as the 13th then, because I remember he just reminded me. What was it? Was it his action? No, I think, in general, I think I started off OK against him, because he only bowled over the wicket, and he bowled that, like, slightly back of a length. But when he bowled that slight... when he got that fuller length at me from around the wicket. No, tall going away from him. Yeah, sorry, he bowled great to left-hands. He did, at the end, at the end. Did he survive at India? He was bowling coach, wasn't he? I would think they would have survived.

54:54I mean, to draw two all. Yeah. They played good cricket. Good cricket. Back foot or front foot cricket, wouldn't it do sort of that half-cott? Well, it was half-cott. He never, like, I never got on the front foot anyway. When he got six foot five slinging down. It was like, yeah, like, great bowler to that. Right, this is a good one to finish with. Come up with our top six batters. We're trying to bat the last day out, surviving against the Great Westerners attack of the 80s. So it's not about run, it's about survival. We've got to survive this last day, draw the test match, we win the series.

55:27Who are our six batters we're choosing? I'm having him. I'm going Bethel. Top six to do it. Cook. Good against Cook. record booch boycott gooch boycott sunal gabaska oh yeah we can go we can go i won't get in all round um let's go england let's go england all right england yeah okay otherwise the wall would be in there and all that brigadier block collingwood no no go these against the west indies against the boycott boycott yeah yeah yeah with two up getting there thorpe thorpe would be up there yeah i mean you're gonna have to have root yeah yeah root is really he's got he's our best ever oh it's so it's gonna be and we need one more if we got the top six if we haven't thank you for your life having thorpy well have you bad feel i mean I mean, I think I've been in Atherton again.

56:24I mean, is it in the round? Ambrose, didn't Ambrose nick him off? Ambrose, this is the 80s. Ambrose, this is the 80s. Michael Alden, Andy Roberts. These are a bit quicker. Collingcroft, Malcolm Marshall. Is that the four? Jesus. Well, I'm out for a little. No, you're in there. Do you have to wear helmets? No, you're in there. No, you're in there. No, you can wear helmets. No, you can wear everything. You can come out like Michelin, man, if you want. We need one more. If we have Thorpey? Yeah, I think I'd have Thorpey in there. Thorpey's gritty. Would you have Jack Russell? Jack Russell. No, not Jack.

56:57Not with that little plinky back. Jonathan Trott. Oh, his head fell off in Trinidad. Jonathan Trott's not a bad shout. Oh, Trottie, not a bad KP. No, no, Trottie. Warpath. No. Oh, Alan Lamb. Legger used to like the quick. Judges didn't mind the quicks. Judgy. Judgy. Let's get the Judgy in there. Judgy. Is that what we're going for? that's good judge it judge it yeah and and it'd be great in the dressing room yeah he would robin smith judge you got cook gooch boycott no gooch gray nickel who's going through who's opening but must be boycott it's you isn't it yeah but we need gooch bikes and bikes has to open three for that summer i don't i'll go through yeah he saw he's happy at three i'll go three 24, 45, the judge comes in at 6.

57:49Oh, yeah, it's not bad. That's got half a chance. Yeah, we have half a chance. Done our afterplay. Commentator's happy. That's it. Good. That's it for this week. Well done. Well done, everyone. Nice job.

58:07Thanks for listening and thanks to our partners, Betfair. You can subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and you won't miss an episode. and if you want to support the show, please leave us a five-star review and help others find it too. See you next time.