Alan Carr & Amanda Holden

0:03Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here with Lenny looking rested. Rested would be a very odd thing for me to look, to be honest. Straight in from California. Someone's head just popped round the window. Oh, it's probably Sam. Okay. Yes, Sam, who's just come back from the hospital. Yeah. Who's just told me he's got a slight fracture. That's been there since. From an injury since he was on a paddleboard in Greece in August. So this is a lesson to everyone to just do less. Because he's a trooper. He's an idiot. He's a idiot. Anyway, you've come back from LA. Yeah. I've just come back from Lanzarote.

0:43Yeah. Which was really fab. Could have done with it a little warmer. I could have done with no rain. Ah. It rained for 10 days. Oh dear. Yeah. Well, I ate amazingly. I think anyone who's thinking about going to Lanzarote, you should absolutely go. The wineries. Little potatoes. Yeah, they weren't wrinkly enough for me this time. I'll do it for you, darling. But I had the most gorgeous time, like, going to all the spots with the kids for Mara. Tried to pretend that I was in an Almodovar film. Saw a volcano. The fire brigade had to come up Tim and fire the volcano because when they did the demonstrations with, like, the hay to show that it's, you know, active.

1:22Yeah. They went to, like, hay heavy. And so there was just smoke. So the fire brigade had to come. What else? Lava Chicken they do there which was fab for all the kids that like Minecraft so that was good. Besides having Cosmos at Sunset Tower which is my favourite place on earth on New Year's Day we were lucky enough that Phil Rosenthal organised us a place in his new diner. Who is, you know it's him and Nancy Silverton both guests on the podcast. They have this new hot diner Max and Helen's. That's his parents. The mugs have a picture of his mum and dad and they're wedding outfit there's lots of photos and it was delicious diner food I had Leo eggs what are they Leonardo DiCaprio no apparently it's a classic dish which I'd never heard of it's a gravidlax with scallions which are spring onions and eggs and they scramble it all together but the big thing there is their waffle with maple butter did you get it yeah for the table I thought about you Jessie we had one for the table no it was all very delicious and fun and very nice atmosphere I also went to a lovely restaurant called Little Fish where I think I had the nicest piece of fish I've ever steelhead trout with cod's row which were like little balls that burst in your mouth with a kind of salsa on the top well speaking of fish I am on food duty today and I decided to return to Easter Belfridge because she can do no wrong in my eyes so I'm trying out her celebration salmon which is from her book mezcla and so it's the book before fuzayo so celebration salmon which you do on a really low heat you make this kind of salsa which is very easter it's got lemongrass chilies tomatoes peppercorns ginger garlic all the delicious things lime juice and then you put a lot of olive oil so you kind of confit the salmon and do it really low and slow.

3:25Have you put it in? Yes. Okay. And you cook it for like 45 minutes, but low, and it should be really pink, but I know you're not going to want it pink. I don't mind. Are you really? Yeah. And then I'm doing it with her sticky coconut rice. And then I've done it with this cucumber salad that she tells you to do it with. So very delicious, lots of flavors, delish, zingy. And then I've done our no churn cappuccino ice cream with Ferrero Rocher from our book because it's a good recipe it's so easy yep and delish yeah and well i hope it's delicious but i need to be reminded to take it out of the freezer otherwise you'll never otherwise you'll never get through yeah so that's that and it's so quick it's like cream some instant coffee granules condensed milk yeah it's quite nice um so that's what we're having and uh do you want to introduce who we've got on the podcast today?

4:20We've got a double act. It's like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. They're a classic double act and it's Alan Carr and Amanda Holden. Do you think she's going to come in an evening dress? No, she's coming from Hearts Radio, isn't she? She does dress. Because she does the breakfast radio. She's such a dresser though, isn't she? She makes the effort. Really makes the effort. In the, actually, in the show, she says that she wants on her tombstone never knowingly understated and Alan said, isn't that like the Tesco... It's John Lewis. John Lewis or something. Never known the undersold. And it did make me laugh.

4:55They have so much fun together and they're doing one of their house makeovers. In Corfu. In Corfu, which is where Alan and I filmed a TV show together. And I know Amanda goes there every summer. So I think they probably have the best summer ever. And the house was looking fab. I've watched about five episodes. How much did they buy the house for? I don't think it was a one euro job. Otherwise, I'm going to go and do that. Yeah, I think we should. So we'll be talking to Amanda and Alan about real estate in Europe and also, of course, Traitors, Heart FM. I loved when Amanda asked Timothee Chalamet what he got Kylie for Christmas.

5:33She just says it, doesn't she? He didn't actually have her anything yet, I don't think. Amanda Holden and Alan Carr coming off on Table Mountains.

5:48Alan and Amanda, welcome. We've been waiting for this. Yes, we have. I'm starving. Okay, good, because it's ready. I mean, Alan, you know, you're talked about as one of our favourite guests ever when we had the best time of our lives with you. It's about time that you're back. Well, you're my favourite, not Jessie's. Who is your favourite? Of course you are. Wow, wow. It's me that always says it. Jessie always says, I know who she's going to say, Alan. Well, we had, there was a chemistry between us. There was. There was. There was a spot. There were five bottles of wine. I was going to say chemistry and some vino.

6:23Yeah, there was. For sure. But you know what she said, and I remember she made a lemon curd cake. You know, inside I was like. Is that a euphemism? No, no. And I was like, lemon curd. And you're only being polite. It was delicious. It was a roulade, wasn't it? It's my lemon curd roulade. Yeah, I was like dreading it. Did you not? It's hard to roll a meringue. It just got to be brave. But Amanda, we have been really excited about having you. And obviously we watch you on the screens together. Yes. And, you know, you're fabulous. Jessie, isn't she gorgeous? Yes. And then she comes straight on a motorbike today as well.

7:02You look a bit like a headrest. How dare you? Do I smell fishy because it means you need pleather? Oh, sometimes it does pleather. What's pleather? Oh, it's faux leather. But if you get a cheap one, you can smell a bit fishy. It looks great. You don't smell fishy. I worry. We're having fish. That's good. It will mask the smell, Alan. Now, I do have to say, well, before we start recording, Amanda came with a massive box of goodies and was very instructive on what was going to happen with the boxes. And, you know, I've seen this go on on the TV show too. Yeah, yeah. You do as you're told. Oh, gosh, yes.

7:46To put the champagne that was in the box. Well, you did. The best thing that you said was you got us the most delicious champagne called Ruinart. It's Ruinart. Delicious, which is your favourite. So you brought two bottles. Thank you so much. And for you and your mum. Yeah. And you said for us to drink, which we're very excited about. And then you brought out a Pinot Noir. And I think you thought I was about to put it in my cellar. You said that's for drinking. Thank you. Thank you. And I went, no, no, it's fast to drink. For having it now. Thanks, everyone. We're having two bottles, maybe three today.

8:18Four days of not drinking, and that's a big deal for me. Oh, yeah, Dry January. Yeah, I don't know. I call it Tri-Jan. Tri-Jan. Oh, yes. It's gone out the window now. It's quite damp, your Dry Jan. Very damp. I think Dry Jan would be a great drag name, wouldn't it? Dry Jan. Wouldn't it be a great drag name? She wouldn't get any booking. No. Yeah. But you know what people say, they say to me, oh, are you and Amanda really friends? But we are, aren't we? We are. You couldn't do that show. No. Even if you just liked someone, you couldn't do it. Because it's 40 degrees and you've been to Corfu. We've been to Corfu, actually.

8:53It's boiling hot. We've all got something in common. Well, actually, it pissed down with rain with us. I know, you were really unlucky. But I loved it. But you filmed in exactly the same area that we were filming in. Cassiopeia. Cassiopeia, yeah. And it was boiling hot. And if you thought that was hot, then you have to try and lay a gravel path and build a thing. And we're forever saying... And you did that. Oh, my God, look, we've got some builders. Can they do something? They're like, no, you have to do it. And everyone always says that to us as well. You did look pretty hot when you were doing the bunk bed with the drill and you were like that, legs akimbo.

9:23But you had that Greek machismo and they thought she was a lady. They underestimated Amanda. They were like, hey, pretty lady, I take that. And she's like, no. They are slightly, I think, men do everything. They do. They're not, it's not like they're chauvinist. It's that they're very traditional. Traditional, yeah. because I loved them. Well, listen, I wish the man had come up to me and said, don't move that paving slab. Well, you couldn't move it. I couldn't. No. Alan couldn't move the paving slab, bless him. But anyway, there's another story. It is very kind of traditional, you're right. They're a traditional breed.

9:59I mean, I'd be happy for someone to do that in this country. I didn't get out with a shopping app. I did the food shop yesterday, and I had to ring my husband to come out of his office to come out with a food shop. You should leave him and move him with me. That's what will happen in the end. but Chris would be probably dead. I would never leave him. I love him. But then I would live with Alan. Yes. We've already got a plan set here. Which country would you live in? It would be Corfu, wouldn't it? We love Corfu. We live in Corfu. We actually holidayed in Corfu together. Yeah, we did. We love it.

10:30So you and I did our Mamma Mia TV show. It was so funny because you mentioned the rain then and it was all open air. You're just not meant to rain in Corfu in July. and you know what the producers were like just ignore the rain, pretend the rain's not there and the rain was, and I'm going and I think, I loved a performance You need little windscreen wipers on your glasses But didn't you have hot water bottles under your seat? Yeah, Amber did like, she was like she'd come from LA and she was like what the fuck is this shit? No, it was amazing but I remember you saying that you'd already been there with Amanda.

11:06Yeah, yeah, yeah And we were going to some of the spots that Amanda likes to eat in. Which is all of them yeah i mean it's terrible yeah i'm known for my drinking and eating everywhere that's great but it's good that's the thing i love about cool foods because i never thought i'd be that person that went back to the same place every year on holiday but i go there because i've got kids like six years between them they both love it and they know it they know it and i can walk into a restaurant and know i'm gonna get good food it's great yeah i don't have to i don't have to worry or feel and i've said this before when i i when in the early days of our friendship i didn't know how popular, you know, Corfu was for you and all the people.

11:43You were going to say I was. No. But when you go in all the tavernas, there's a statue of the Virgin Mary and her in a bikini.

11:56It's like, and then I went there, you know, Amanda, you know, when we were filming, people would come over, you know, Amanda, Amanda, your friend. Like this, yes, yes. Your very strengths is completely reversed now. I can't go anywhere without everyone talking to me about traitors. Yeah. You should show them what I just got you. Oh, it's in your handbag. I just, it's a real, it's not expensive, so it might be terrible. But I just bought Alan something. Do you know what someone got me for Christmas? The Traitor's Board Game. I mean, that, come on, please. It was so triggering. It was so triggering, yeah.

12:27Look at that. Oh, wow. I didn't call a bottle of Michael Traitor, but it was a really reasonable price. Is it your picture? No, that's for me. That's for the journey. That's for the journey hope. But they didn't give him his cloak. He had to go on Amazon like the rest of us. Wouldn't you? I had to get... Can you believe that? No, it's a liberty. I think the wedding would get like a bespoke, heavy-duty, well-made green cloak. Yeah, and I want the wax head in the thing. And I also want the portrait. What are they going to do with an Alan Carr portrait? Absolutely. Where is that now, the portrait?

13:04I've asked, but they won't reply. No. Oh, God. One of the runners has got it up in their hand. We'll have a word. Yeah. Well, hopefully this will highlight it, Ellen. We'll have a word, Jessie. Yeah, I mean, come on. What are you going to do when Alan Carr waxes? Alan, you played a blinder. Congratulations. You were a national treasure before, but you are now absolutely a door cry. The crown jewel. You'd probably be knighted in the next day, honestly. Mum, I think so. I know, I do enough for bloody charity.

13:38But in Cassiopeia and Corfu I love that you call it Cassiopeia What is it? I don't know I mean I say Cassiopeia But maybe it is that But I think Cassiopeia makes it sound posher No I think Opa Opie is Opie I don't fucking know But we've all got something in common you know We've all performed Well I haven't I missed out Because I was doing LA Pride And you all had a big night out And I was gutted and you all went to Illusions. Yeah, Illusions is the best. Well, tell everybody that doesn't know what Illusions is. Well, Illusions is one of those bars that sort of shows all the sports during the day and at night it turns into a karaoke bar where you've got props.

14:15Oh, it's been my favourite. Everything. Well, it sort of goes from being... Props? Yeah, I wore a pink... When I did, I didn't do it with you. I went with my family and wore pink wigs and all of that and obviously got blind drunk and lived my best life. What did you sing? What's your song? I always sing Abba. I always sing Abba. The only time I was ever jealous of you was when you did that Mamma Mia show because that's like my idea of absolute heaven in my favourite place. It didn't get recommissioned. I know, but it was so good. I cried. I cried. I cried when they said. I couldn't believe it.

14:46A month in Corfu listening to amazing singers. It was wonderful. It was a joyful job. It was a beautiful job. They should just put it out again now. I loved it. But they've just moved to New York. It's opening on Broadway at the ABBA Mamma Mia. So now they're going to have to recast it so you could go over to it. Alan? That would be amazing. Hawaii, I think. This is the producer woman. What's she called? Judy Craver. She said, didn't she? Was you there? You were going to be in three. Mamma Mia three. You will be. I would say that's a guarantee you're going to be gay. But not one of the dads, because even I can't act that good.

15:18But, you know. Didn't you say a gay waiter? A gay waiter? Which would be a stretch. Listen, even if I go, hummus, Miss Streep? Something like that. I think you need to go, hummus. Hummus. And what was her character name? Donna! Donna of course. So she's dead now, isn't she? Meryl Streep's dead! No, Jessie! Spoiler alert! I'm never going to be in Mamma Mia 3 now! Look at that! That was the ghost of Meryl Streep. Didn't Donna die in the second one? No! Yes, how are they going to do that? They could do it as a ghost. It couldn't be a ghost. It'll be like Aberdeen. She's quite exterior. Yes. Oh, my God.

16:05You could definitely recast the New York one. There's a show. Well, we were thinking Les Mis going to... Les Mis, sorry. Les Mis. Les Mis. That's because of that festival you're talking about. I'm going to a lesbian festival. Les Mis in Mexico. I didn't read the small print. Who is it called Les Mis? Shut up. No, it's not called Les Mis. No, it's not called Les Mis. because we don't live in the 80s, do we? It's called Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Hold on, you're going to a festival in Mexico? Yeah, OK. My friend Rossi rings me up. You know Rossi. Alan, Alan. Who's orgasmed to every album of mine in one night, as he told me.

16:44Yes, yes, he makes love. He told me. I was thrilled in front of you. He said he makes love to her music. And lots of people say that. Anyway, carry on. So you're going with Rossi? Yeah, and he said, do you want some winter sun? I said, yes. He said, see Matt's playing, love. Yes. Sam's live, love. Brandy car loves. I said, put me down, put me down. So he sent me some footage of it. I went, can't see many men in it. And it's a lesbian festival and 95 % lesbian and they're non-binary friends. Well. Yeah. And then I went, fuck, I didn't read the small print. But the headline, the title is Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

17:21Yeah. The clues were there. You'll have fun with the girls. Of course I will. You will, but you just may not find love. Are you going to be allowed in, though? They'll be allowed in. Are you sure? He's a national treasure. What's Mexico? He's vanished. Creator's cloak. Creator's cloak and me lantern. Could you wear the red one? I am and always have been a lesbian.

17:46But I can't wait. What's up? Great music. We're going to have fun. It's an all-inclusive card. Wait. Carnage. Ready? Go for it. Oh, God. Oh, wow. Let me do mummy first. Thank you, darling. When are you going to Tulum, darling? Oh, next week. Oh, wow. I can't wait. Thank you. It's going to be so much fun. They do yoga on the beach, Alan. I won't be doing that. And they run. I want to do a bit of downward dog. You never know, Alan. Because you know on the show, Alan and Amanda Spiegel, she, behind my back, in a lovely way though, she put me on the apps, the gay apps. and you're a gay ally but it was an eye opener for you I was in shock at some of those questions and nothing really shocks me what do you mean gay apps in England or Greece in Greece it was so graphic like what I had to discuss all of that how big downstairs how big I do know bits but I don't know that much but everyone's going to lie they're not going to say There were photos of it It was eye watering Just the thought of it Alan Alan are you a top?

18:59I'm going bottom I thought well this is BBC I can't go into this I said I'm hot pot Anything goes I think You can stick anything in it Like Betty from Coronation Street You can stick anything in it Was that like Betty's hot pot? did she do that? That looks insane. So it's Easter Belfridges celebration salmon and you kind of confit the salmon and you do like this delicious tomato, lemongrass, ginger, garlic, holy basil, delicious. Holy basil? Yeah. What's holy basil? Just Thai holy basil. Oh, I've never heard of it either, I thought maybe it was blessed basil. Cheers, Jessie. Cheers, Lachain. Cheers, Lachain.

19:47Happy New Year, Lachain. Happy New Year to everyone. Thank you. It's so lovely to finally be here. It's great to have you. It's the best. It's the best champagne. It's the best. I mean, let's put that back in the fridge because we can't have it for one moment heating up. Sorry to Voshe. We've done our research. We've done our research on Cham. She's so bossy. Wow. But I think this champagne is actually good for you. I think it is good for you. I think the bubbles oxygenate your blood and make you look younger. Yes. I'm 87

20:26And mum can you do this please You're going to have an opinion on how I do it So I just propose to do it Okay fine, great, done So this is sticky rice, coconut sticky rice cake So like you have that with this Shall I do you a bit, do you want to square love Please darling Oh yes, take that It smells so good. This smells and tastes so clean. I'm going to try and eat more salads this year. Is that your... I don't believe in resolutions. I just don't believe in them. What is the thing that tastes perfumey in there? Is that the Easter bell? Lemongrass. Lemongrass. This is not... It's sort of like bubble bath.

21:08Oh. It's so nice. No, in a nice way. Really? I used to love bubble eating it when I was a kid. Did you like the violet palmer or whatever? Yeah, I love palmer violets. And I used to eat the bubbles from Maiti bubble bath. I used to just eat them when I was in the bath. Do you know what I mean? What's Maiti bubble bath? Maiti. It's like a sailor. It had a sailor hat cap, didn't it? Oh, yeah. And then the bottle was dressed like a sailor. It was such a treat in the house. Do you want some lime? This is really delicious. Absolutely delicious. Oh, good. The salmon is really nice, right? Because it's kind of really slowly.

21:48Anyway. So what time were you up this morning? I got up at five, which I don't think so, is it? That sounds so bad. That's kind of, you know, a Kardashian wake up. God, is it? Yeah, they wake up. They do their faces in ice baths and things like that. Ice bath, trainer. I sleep in my lash to knock off 10 minutes. So these eyelashes have been on for about 12 years. You're just kidding. No, I sleep like I'm in a coffin. You know my friend Jess now. So I have a friend Jess from Oldham, and I've shared a lot of beds with her in hotels, and she'd say, you sleep like you're in a coffin. Because I don't move.

22:20So my eyelashes stay great. And then I just literally trowel it on. Do you do your makeup? Yes. For heart. Breakfast. Yes. And then you get in. I get in. For? We're on air at 6.30. You get papped. I see that every day. Every day I get papped on the way out. We get videoed all day long like this. Yeah. Because when I first got the gig, I was like, oh, brilliant. I can go in my jammies and just be out of there by 10. That never happens. So what did you have for breakfast this morning, Amanda? Well, let me speak in my mouth, though. She loves a boiled egg. Me too, I love. She loves a boiled egg. You say that.

22:59With salt, rolled in salt. Mmm. Lots of pepper, too. Oh, my God. So antisocial. I don't care. When you peel them, everyone just thinks she's trumped. But she pops a spare one in her handbag, so when she opens it, you say, have you farted? Egg anyone? I did that a lot. I used to take the eggs in cool food and knives for snacks later. Is that because you're trying to get your protein up? Or just because you love an egg? Just because I love an egg and I... Yeah. No, because I'd have an egg and a queson. But this morning I had not much because I knew I was coming here. Yeah, I saved myself. And I would stuff myself.

23:32I didn't have anything. I wanted to save myself. Neither did I. No, this is perfect. No pressure. No, I want to talk about your, you know, your singing career. You've also been up for an Olivier, haven't you? Yes. Oh, I love you for remembering all this. When are we going to, like, hear you sing? We were actually meant to be label buddies. We were on the same label. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So you did an album. I did an album in lockdown. Yeah. Which did really well. And I always say, my husband will kill me for this, because he will say, just own the fact that it did well. But I always say it did well, because everyone was in lockdown.

24:07There was no choices. Oh, no. They sort of afforded nothing. My album did really well in lockdown. Shush! No, we did! Well, then what's the phenomena about lockdown? Because everyone was listening to everything anyway. I released an album, no one fucking bought it. Can I ask a burning question? You two aren't going to present strictly together. No, we said no ages ago. Oh, getting busy, baby. Okay, when Chatty Man comes in. Oh, everyone. That was another clickbait thing during Traitor. But why don't we just bring it back? It was so fantastic. It's the best, and he was the best. Do you want to?

24:47You need your chat show back. A chat show. Well, it would be nice to do a chat show. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, I read them, and all chatting about it, but no one's approached me or anything. So what would you love to do? Now you are completely a national treasure. You can do anything. So what show would you like to do, Alan? I don't know. I've kind of done it all. Yeah. No, no, that sounds wanky, but I have. Got me sitcom. Yeah. I do a show with me Bessie Mae. I do my own interior design show. I've got me, you know. So what's next? I don't know. Maybe a film. Astronaut. Astronaut.

25:22Only fans. No. There you go. There would be a market. Yeah, well. Which bit would you show? My feet. I've got lovely feet. I keep thinking we should do feet. Because you can earn a fortune. Have you got really good feet? No. My husband says I look lovely till I get to my ankles. And then he says, my feet are like little wool sausages that have been hit with a mallet. I'm not surprised with the shoes you wear. I've never heard anything like it. You've got lovely feet. Thank you, Alan. Have you got bunions? No. Oh, so you might have a look under the table. Please don't put your feet on that you've had burpings.

25:59I think Chris is being really mean. I think it's time to move in with Alan. Yeah, I love your feet. I'd give you a toe job every night. You also love a toe job. That'll be the headline in the Daily Mail. Oh, God, there we go. Sick Alan sucks Amanda's toe. A toe drop. Horrified. For charity. For charity, yeah. But I think you are filthy, both of you. And the fact that it's so politely PG, that lovely show that you... Well, it's like a pantomime. There's something for the mums and dads and the kids. It goes over the heads. It does definitely go over the heads. But I do feel like you could do a late night one too.

26:36They could be an after hours one Do you know what they do? In a couple of weeks or whatever They will release And it's amazing that the BBC actually let us do it But they release all the bloopers That's brilliant Which are Essential Really mad and naughty And they just put them I play and put them out there And it's everywhere And that's We have such a laugh But we've also got an amazing team Who we say And they've been the same team for all this time And that lovely when they come back That is such a pat on the back It's a relief because they look after us. Yeah, yeah.

27:20I'm trying to add some structure to this episode because it's already been derailed. And I love it. It's a renovation episode. I love it. It's fab. It needs underpinning. We can rebuild your podcast. Thank you so much, Alan Carr. I think the foundations need a bit of work, but anyway.

27:42Joking. It's fine, darling. Amanda, a childhood memory of a dinner scene around the table. Who was cooking? What were you eating? Well, is Judith a good cook? My mum's a good cook, Judith. She's fab. My mum's lovely. And I think that's the biggest thing that I've tried to instil into my family is sitting around the table, at least on a Sunday. Okay. So it will always be a Sunday roast. I know probably hundreds of your guests have said that. But I'm good at doing Sunday roasts. My roast potato, I've got a secret ingredient for my gravy. I can't because it's secret. But it does involve alcohol. But it's not wine.

28:20Sometimes you serve for Sunday dinner naked. Oh. I cook it naked. Oh. Only because, you know on the cusp between winter and summer where you have to give up the roast dinners and turn it into a barbecue. Yeah. There was one Sunday... A lovely night taking your clothes off making a Sunday roast is like something everyone does. You know that time when clothes have to come off as... Said no one ever. Go on. It's true. And it's like a round of May, June, where you think I can squeeze one more Sunday roast out and you've got everything done. And my whole family moan about a Sunday roast, but I make them have it.

29:02And then this one particular Sunday, it was boiling hot. So I did just strip off and cook everything naked. My children see me naked all the time. I didn't eat naked. Have you got girls? Yeah. Not boys? No. Girls. I did worry. My husband enjoyed it. They were all in the garden. Jessie, you've been naked all your life. Yeah, I understand that. I like being naked. You're a poor brother. No, get it. No, maybe it is, yeah. I always don't mind being naked. I don't mind it at all. Free and easy, baby. Jessie. Yeah. So you would have a bath when everyone needs a wee. I'd have a poo when everyone needs a bath.

29:39Well, my husband says that. My husband's having a shower and then I'm having a wee and it turns into a poo and he's like, why do you choose this moment? Because I feel so relaxed in front of you. Yes, yes. He's like, can you feel less relaxed? I'm a bit offended because you've never pooed in front of Alan. Well, I'm offended because you've never done that in front of me. How does that make me feel as your TV husband? Series five, babe. There we go. Well, the amount of umbrellas you've held up across Europe. So I could have a pee behind them. Maybe I'll have a dump in the next series. Something for everyone to look forward to.

30:08Do you know where you're going next? You know, our dream is to do Japan because their birth rate is slowing down. Well, actually, I think it's going. And there's so many houses empty because they believe, also because of the rate and of everything, the birth rate, but also they believe that the ghost of their ancestors is in that house, so they have to be loyal to it. And if they move, then they're leaving their relatives behind. So when people leave a house, it's got, no, I don't want to move in there. That's not my house, you know. So I think, but we're so busy. How can we film in Japan? But we took serious time off, spent a lot of time over there.

30:45But you're on heart. I've got all these other bits and bobs happening. What other bits and bobs, Alan? Jessie, is this a dry house? Look at the glasses. Listen, we're going for the Pinot Noir. I think you've instructed yes, isn't it? I'm obsessed with Amanda because I've met my match, Mum. Yeah. Do you order for the table as well? Yes. Because it's easier. I can't be doing with everyone doing their bits and bobs. I'm like, you're going to love this. Have this. I can see Amanda and Jessie's Japanese job. I'll be sitting. I know it has, worryingly. I'm sitting there going, I'll watch Netflix on or BBC.

31:25Oh, wow. Alan who? We can sing the theme tune Oh my god It is the theatre Alan's like this Tax it But also I'm going on tour Yes I'm so excited No no I don't need Do you know what I welled up Yes it's sold out Oh my god Of course it is I welled up yesterday You do have friends and family tickets don't you Yeah yeah yeah Oh god yes Oh you'll come I mean I have to take some of the bits out about you So it might be quite a short show Oh no don't Oh, here she is, farting. The human bagpipes of Menderhorn. Alan, where are you playing in London? At the Palladium. It's amazing. Oh, wow, it's gorgeous.

32:05Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. Oh, I know, I know, I'm buzzing. How long is the tour there? It's a lot. It's a lot. You do have to park a lot of things and just concentrate on the tour, because I've done it where I've done all the TV and the tour, and you just, this goes. You can't. And I've said this to you before. And I know people go, it's only an hour and a half on stage, but, my God, I'm nerves, adrenaline. Of course. Can't sleep, you know, da-da-da. Is it the same tour manager, your friend? Elliot, yes. Yeah, he'll be coming on tour with me. I love Elliot and stuff. You know, you said you welled up.

32:35Is it because you didn't believe that you could... I mean, because... Well, the people take the time, and I know, like, money is time. Yay! Sorry. It's a fucking outman. And as a performer, yay, the wine's open! Should we come? What do you want now? Shall I taste it first, Alan, just to make sure it's all right? Well, you're going to accept it anyway, but just pretend. Is that, madam? How do you do your wine tasting? An inch in the bottom? Is that what you want? Sniff it up. Make sure the cork isn't going funny. An inch in the bottom. Would you like an inch in the bottom? Would you like an inch in the bottom?

33:12I love an inch in the bottom, darling. Okay, I never know how much an inch is. Oh, gosh. No wonder you're on that website. Thank you. I want to cook.

33:26That website. It's a dating app. Don't make it up some kind of sexual deal. It's a terrifying app. Thank you. This is delicious. We're not going to ignore the fact that we were just talking about your talk. Because you're so self-deprecating. It's gorgeous. Is this one of your favourites too? No, I literally, I wanted a Pinot Noir because I wanted it to be cynical. It's lunchtime. And I thought organic would be easier for us. I don't usually like Pinot Noir. Me neither. I like a Malbec. Do you like a Malbec? I love a Malbec. Like a cabinet. I don't like Malbec. I feel like you have it in the pub and hate yourself.

34:00It's a bit peppery. Sorry. Can you just, I've got less than an inch in my bottom. Oh, we can't be having that. I could do it. You know. Donnie, I could do it with another inch. Oh, my God. I love Lenny. Come on, Lenny. Look at how joyous. I wish I'd never said that joke. Now, even I'm blushing. I want more than an inch in my bottom. Don't get it on your low, though. Don't get it on your low. We're talking about your tour. I'm not going to let you divert. No, no, no. It's just cost of living crisis, da, da, da, da. But people are taking the time to buy it and come and see me live, which is lovely.

34:32That's good. It's lovely. And what I'm pleased about is, and we've had this conversation, is that you're actually going to concentrate on one thing at once. I know, I know. Because we're the same in that we sort of, we do say no, but you say yes because you've got that mentality because we're from working class backgrounds. You have to keep working, keep making the money, keep, I don't know just keep going and when we have a day off I feel like oh my god and I clean out a wardrobe or a drawer and you do the same thing and you feel like it's all going to end if you've got a day off so it's good for you to have a full day and then go and do the show and that's what I was going to say earlier with the champagne and me being serious for a little bit you know you do read in the media about oh you know working class voices on telly stuff we are those people but I sound posh but I'm not she's not you've just been burping in here I have people think I'm posh.

35:21They do think I'm posh. I went to a comprehensive in a tiny village. My mum and dad, they all talk like that. I lived in Hampshire in a small village called Bishop's Waltham and the school was called Swanmore Secondary School. Let's talk about Alan. And I was in Northampton. We know that. Are we on the third series of Changing Years? Yeah, third series, yeah. It's lovely. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. Such a lovely... Especially because you've... The boys BAFTA nominate and he won a Royal Television Award. Fabulous. Isn't it funny? He came back and, you know, you've written it and he is so tall.

36:00And voice is dropped? His voice sounds like me and on set he would be going, oh, I'll have a nice cup of tea and they'd be like, Alan, they didn't know if it was me or him. So this series three and four, which we filmed already, he sounds just like me. He's got that biting point, You know where my voice goes up and down and stuff like that. It's when you go from your chest to your head, isn't it? Oh, well, absolutely, Amanda. Anyway, it was a story about me. But anyway, that's fine. Now, listen, I wonder how we do Last Supper, whether we combine or whether you are very decisive on what would be your Last Supper.

36:37I can't remember what your Last Supper was because I was drunk last time we talked about this. But Alan, can you think about a Last Supper? Amanda? Start a main pud, drink of choice. I think I know the drink of drinkers. Drink would always just be the rune for all of it. I like a prawn cocktail. Yeah, I like a prawn cocktail. That's nice. Prawn cocktail and lasagna for Maine. Lasagna? Yeah, yeah. Why? It's layered. Isn't it? Like me. Like me, it's layered. When you go to Italy, they don't eat lasagna, do they? You order lasagna in Italy and they look at you like, huh? Yeah. Can I just say for the record that my mum is a great cook because I said in another interview that Aunt Bessie was actually my real mum.

37:17And she got pissed. It's a good gag. But my mum went, oh, Aunt Bessie's here. I went, oh, you read the article. Adam, what did your mum cook that was fabulous? My mum, hearty fare, lasagnas and stuff. Hearty fare. That would also be a good drag name. Hearty gag. Liz. Yeah, all like that. You know, spaghetti bolognese. You were an 80s child, you know what I mean? And it was all of that. And then when Cross and Blackwell, do you remember them? They brought out those sachets. I know. It was like we went round the world. Oh, I remember having pasta for the first time and exotic sauces. I remember my nan went to Greece and then the whole family made moussaka because I became vegetarian at 13.

37:59But before that, I ate meat. But we had moussaka and that was like, oh, my God, what is this? You'd never eat meat. No. So what do you have for your Sunday roast? What do you have for your Sunday roast? I do a Linda McCartney country filled pie Or I just don't bother And I have millions of vegetables And what would you cook for your family? Oh I cook them meat I put my hands in a turkey Yeah my friend Cherry is a vegetarian Her family are all around She stuffs the turkey Anyone wants to eat they'll have it at my house I'm not precious I'm not precious like that I'll cook it, eat it Touch it, whatever you need What did you do for New Year's Eve?

38:39We had the best. Oh, were you together? Yes. Oh, of course. Does Chris get a bit jealous? He did mention it a couple of times. There was a funny moment where we had last Chris. We didn't spend New Year's Eve together, but we spent that time in between, and we were going through Covent Garden with our family, and then there was that gorgeous Christmas tree in Covent Garden. She went, oh, let's have a photo. She threw the camera at Chris, and me and her are like this, with her children.

39:12But he's got such a good sense of humour. Chris is the funniest man alive. What does he do? He is a music producer and now a manager. He's brilliant, but he's very funny. He's very funny. And then we did a photo at New Year's Eve where she deliberately cut him out. We're holding hands and you just see... And you can just see Chris's shoulder in the side of it. I was like, me and my husband, oh, whoops. Managed to cut him out. What, did you have a party? I mean this sounds Last year We decided to hire a castle Yeah Oh Between us Because I love being in a castle The traitors Yeah It was before all the traitors Madness And everything else It sounds really dead posh There was 22 of us Sounds fine Everyone chipped in Everyone chipped in We did Highland Games We had a Kayleigh We did the addressing Of the Hackers Oh that sounds fun But classic Amanda Scotland is the place to be on New Year's Eve Really It's amazing Okay The classic Amanda, three days up there, and then she's like, Kayleigh, disco, you know, organising Highland Games, playing the bagpipes, welly-wanging.

40:17She just had it all planned. Throwing a hammer. And you know when you're a bit like, I just want, like, a downtime. But, you know, it was so much fun. And I was good at tossing the caber. Yes, he tossed it. And it landed at 12 o 'clock. And it's not how far you throw the caber, did you know that? No, it wasn't. It's whether it lands 12. Alan's caber always lands at 12 mine did land at 12 straight like that Alan straightest thing about him yeah my caber what is a caber actually? it's like a big log yeah and then poor old Lee poor old Lee was getting a lot of grief from the Scottish man weren't he?

40:55I know I bet you've had your hands round a log like that before try and be straight like this well because he was from Scotland he wasn't Norman oh right yeah I don't know how I do that But it was I'm going to say it was the best New Year's Eve I've ever had I'm going to say Did you have music? Yes we did Kayleigh dancing Oh you didn't have like disco You featured, you were on our playlist Because we were all allowed to choose whatever we wanted And in between they had this playlist that we'd curated It was amazing Yeah It was honestly the best And then at midnight they rang the bells And we went onto the turret and we watched all the fireworks across Edinburgh and the flag was flying in and she was really emotional.

41:37You're going, I love you, Alan. You need to do this again. I love you, Chris. But I love you, Alan. We're definitely going to do it again. But the funny thing is we asked, oh, can we have some fireworks? And I think they sort of knew that we were like, you know, a bit so they made this excuse, oh, it's near the airport, we can't. I thought a Catherine wheel ain't going to bring down a jumbo jet, love. But I think... You never know, don't write in. I think they thought oh wow but no it was just and do you know what as well January the 1st was just as fun oh really yeah we went to a restaurant we went to this restaurant it was Scott's Scott's down in Queensferry we should give them in Queensferry and they opened for us and again we had dancing gorgeous food who organised this did Amanda organise this you did you didn't organise but I'm going to just give you a world exclusive oh that I haven't even sent to Alan because I thought, I don't know if you want to hear it.

42:35But this is Alan on New Year's Day singing with the entertainers. God.

42:55Alan's the deeper voice. But then I can go up and down. It's bungee jumps. Isn't that funny? Look at that. Amazing. And I can't actually remember that. Are you ready for some pudding? Yeah. 100%. Right, okay. Well, this looks calorific, love. No, it doesn't. It's delicious. And it's going to pep you up because it's a bit of coffee in there. So there you go. How do you make this? It's no churn cappuccino ice cream with Ferrero Rocher. And to be honest, I had so many Ferrero Rocher from Christmas. It's been helpful. You are spoiling us. They are the best gift to get. I'm sorry, I love it. When somebody gives me a for a rocher, I'm like, wow.

43:37Or a panettone. Somebody's getting panettone bread and butter pudding in the weekend. Yes, I'm going to do it. I've got a chocolate panettone. And obviously you have to make it this weekend. Right, let me just see. Because I've had it. Oh, for fuck's sake, it's always so fucking hard. Shall I get a knife? Vicar. Yeah. Shall I get a knife? Yeah. can I say I think Terry's chocolate oranges are getting smaller I've said it it should be Terry's chocolate satsuma if you ask me I'm not noticed sorry I said what I said is that one of your favourites I love it but for me even though I've got these teeth I like a matchstick at Christmas matchmaker orange or mint because mint you don't really have to brush your teeth in the morning, do you?

44:28Don't try that at home, children. So, Alan, you might choose a prawn cooked egg. I would, but I would also choose asparagus with hollandaise. I really like that. As a starter. Yeah. With an egg. I like anything with an egg on. Amanda, you're talking my language. An egg running into a salad or anything. I've had asparagus with hollandaise for 100 years. It's not... You don't get it. It's very retro. It's retro, isn't it? Okay, so you've seen it and seen it in like... It's lasagna a bit too boring. I should say something else. It's relatable, Alan. I know. Who wants to be relatable? I say the same thing.

45:05I go pasta pesto. Oh, really? The fresh... Oh, my God. That's boring. On your own day, you're going to be dead. Yeah, I fucking love... I love pasta pesto. Do you? Fresh pesto. I make it at home, but I make it with broccoli. Oh. Which sounds a bit like I'm trying to sneak vegetables into my children's diet. I steam the broccoli and then I whiz it up with loads of everything. And like a whole thing of parmesan and pine nuts and garlic and everything. It is unbelievable. And I would want to be happy. And I would want the memories, I think if it was my last meal, with loads of shavings of pesto and a side of rocket.

45:46Parmesan and a side of rocket. So is anyone going to want any more of this, by the way? Otherwise I'm going to put it in the freezer. Do you want another spoonful? Oh, I'll have one more spoon. Yeah, go on. I am as well. Well, you can have as much as you want, by the way. Alan, when you're away, will you ring her? Will you check in while you're away on holiday? We will text. Yeah. When he's in Mexico, I will try and leave him alone. Okay. But I will text or send him something funny. Okay. And he might send me something stupid on the bill. Like, whatever he's up to, he might send me something silly.

46:14But he's going to send you lots of pictures of lesbians by the sound of it. I wouldn't afford to that. I actually would love to go to a lesbian festival. I don't have so much fun. Girls just want to have fun. I'm down there. Yeah, I mean, it's going to be so much fun. I can't wait. And also, and I love CMAT as well. She's amazing. Oh, the best. I love Sam. They're so good. What was I going to say then? But we have, because we are so indiscreet, me and Amanda, we have an unwritten rule that we never leave voice notes. In case. Because you never know it's going to get hooked up to or wires the system.

46:44You know, we're some freak of nature where we've got gossip. I've got gossip. That's what we sort of say. And then we say it face to face Because I can't trust a voice note And you love a voice note I can't with her because he's indiscreet Sometimes I'll see that a voice note's come And I'll go I'm going to listen to this at home I'm going to take this home And I'll say to Alan I'm going to listen to this at home And then he'll go No it's okay you can listen to it And I'll go okay fine And it's just about But this is in the ad Why wouldn't they be on this fucking WhatsApp group? No but this is in that break on heart This is on like when I'm live on air And then if I say If I dare to say to a producer I've got a voice note from Alan They're like let's do it next And I'm like So have you got any good gossip today?

47:30Alan's the one Actually Have I got any gossip? Where do you get your goss from? I make it up It's the best It's organic In the industry I think we're both known for being gossips But at the same time We're both secret holders Yeah I trust Do you know when I came out the traitors? I told her everything. He went, I'm out. I signed an NDA. Oh, my God. Do you want to know or not? And I went, I want to know, Alice. Of course you want to know. She's the only one I told her to my mum and dad, my brother. I didn't speak. And I love gossip. But I didn't have a single person because I was so terrified. I didn't want to get him into any trouble.

48:16No. Yeah. But, yeah. Yeah, well, I had to offload. It's so intense in there. Oh, and they're awesome. No phone, no laptop. Was Claudia gorgeous? I love Claudia. We love Claudia. Both of us are obsessed with Claudia. But you know, in the castle, you know, she keeps herself to herself, which you have to because you can't. And when you see her, she'll give you a cheeky little smile, but it's not like she's not going, oh, Alan, you know, how are you doing? How many days were you there? It's three weeks. Shit. Fuck off. I was there three weeks. And, of course, my... I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it.

48:47And, of course... It might be awful. And of course, I've got in my diary, you know, you've got your diary, and I rang up my agent. I said, oh, you know, I'm doing traitors. You've got something in the first week on the first day. He went, well, you're going to be out. He said, you'll be out. Did you fire your fucking agent? Yeah, you're Mr. Motor Mouth. You ain't going to be in there with your fucking big mouth. You're going to be out, like that. And then the dog walker looking after the dogs. I had to keep ringing her up to say, oh, sorry, can you just stay for another week? Because I just thought I'd be out.

49:15And then when I laughed on the steps and went, I am a... I went home and packed because I went, I'm going home tomorrow. And then I'm round the round table. Nick, cat, what do I have to do? Stop being nice. Do you need a cup of tea now? I would love a cup of tea. Do you want more alcohol? Yes. I'll have more alcohol and a cup of tea. I'll have two fingers. Two fingers. That's what I always say. Two fingers, darling. Is any of this usable? Is any of this usable? My dad used to say one finger of whiskey. Oh, my God. I'm the only person I'd say two fingers. Everybody looks at me and I'm like, what?

50:02Because you're filthy. Yeah, that's why they look at you. I want two fingers or two farmer's fingers. Is she serving up the Sunday roast naked? I love two fingers. Why are you looking at me? Two father's fingers. Two father's fingers. So when do you film Britain's Got Talent? Is that in the summer? Oh, no, we filmed it. It's in the bag. So we filmed it in October and all the auditions go out in, like, March, April. And then the live shows start in April for a month, six weeks in April. Do you still love it? I'm not joking. it is I mean I'm going to say Amanda and Alan is probably like my favourite gig but Britain's Got Talent was the job that I think changed my entire life and Simon has been so loyal and sort of kept me there and it's going to be my 20th year next year my daughter's gonna my daughter's 20 now but she turned one on the day that I got the job and next year I will have done 20 years and I said at the time i literally was stirring soup i think cheryl cole dropped out that's famous she dropped out of it i went yeah yeah and i said to my husband chris oh i said that would be three years that'll sort that'll be good for the mortgage whatever and then 20 years later and you don't think anything's going to last 20 years same panel with bruno it's changed no so so it's me and simon and alicia and ksi who was a youtube oh the one who made the drink i love you i love ksi Oh, my God, I love him and I love his whole time.

51:43Is he the prime team? Yes. Is that the energy drink? Yes, the drink, the energy drink. I don't drink the energy drink. He falls asleep all the time, so I don't think he drinks the energy drink either. To be fair. But I bloody love him. Really? Yeah. And we went out. We film everything in Blackpool now. I nearly cried. It's such a family. It feels so family. I ordered some room service one night and this lovely woman dropped it to me and she went, God bless Amanda. And you know, my nan used to say that to me and I was like that. That's not room, sir. Is this your nan who liked having a sherry? Yes, Harvey's Bristol Cream.

52:19And you have one every Sunday morning. One every Sunday when I'm cooking the Sunday lunch. She takes all her clothes off, ready for the roast. I love it. It is a morning drink. Can you see my Bristol Cream? My Bristol... What is it called, Bristol City? Bristol City. Yeah, so I love a Harvey's Bristol cream. I don't like posh sherry. And over Christmas, the amount of pubs I went to with my husband, and I said, I really want a sweet sherry, and they all just looked at me blankly, and I went, no, no, no, I don't want this posh Spanish thing. I don't want that. I don't want that. You want a sherry?

52:57Yeah, I know. I want a Harvey's Bristol cream. And I invented a new drink over Christmas because I put Harvey's Bristol cream with ice. A finger. A finger of sherry. Yeah. A finger of sherry. It's just dinner. Ice cubes and a slice of orange. Oh, wow. That is a game changer for Harvey's Bristol Green. What do you call it? Let's just call it two fingers. Two fingers. Two fingers. But that's what's so amazing about this podcast, because food is emotional, isn't it? Oh, yeah. And that's why... You're absolutely right. That's why, you know, it's sharing. It's such a good idea. Well done. Well done, both of you.

53:36Thank you. It is. because it evokes so many memories. And food is about how you feel. I don't like food where there's two bits of cucumber and a carrot and, like, someone spat on it. You know, like the froth. I can't bear that. What is that froth? Of course you may. An emulsion. I have bollocks to that. It is like dribble. It's like, I'm looking at the man's mouth. I want a fish finger sandwich and a tartar sauce and a load of mayonnaise. I don't care how it looks. It's about how it makes me feel and what it tastes like. Or even how it's presented. Well, before I go get... All of this was beautiful.

54:09The third bottle in the cup of tea. Maybe they'll lose the tea. We're going large. Yeah, we're not diluting his drink. We're not going two fingers. I'm throwing in a thumb. Jessie, have you noticed... Jessie, have you noticed the glasses? I know. That's disgusting. I'm scared. Amanda, do you want the other bottle of champagne? Yeah. Have you got another Pinot? I'll have any red. Should we open your tray to red, Alan? Oh, my God. No. No. Because he could keep the bottle. Don't worry. I always have an emergency bottle.

54:52I'm not going to lie. It was£10.99. Hey, I'm not proud. No, me neither. What is it? It's made in Chili's Atacama dessert. Desert. Desert. Yeah, just open it. After me saying it was well red. Yeah, there's me going, I always give in my bottle. I asked a wine expert once about scrooge tops, because people are very snobby about them. What scrooge tops doesn't mean anything? No, on my... I think they're helpful. I love them. Can I just say, on my new podcast, Bottoms Up, with Lovely Leap here, we speak about that. You know, when a wine's disgusting and you take it back, you can say to the sommelier, I don't like this, and take it back, you're within your right.

55:33Oh, I've done that. I've done that. I've gone like four bottles before I've got to the right. I'm like, give it, I just need it to taste a bit more like Ribena. And they were literally like, you need to get out of my mouth. Do you know what? Do we like that? That's drinkable. The traitor. Wine of chilli. And do you know what some restaurants do? What? The second wine down is the one with the biggest markup because they know no one picks the top one on the wine list. You're kidding. Listen to bottoms up. You'll get hacks like this. Just a finger, Jessie. If I hear fingering one more time, I'm walking out.

56:06Or staying.

56:10That's nice. I don't want to be on your podcast, but it's a little bit of tannin at the very end. You're going nowhere near my bloody podcast. I don't think that's bad, actually. I think that is... It's a very reasonable price. Nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere, happy or sad. Jelly. Yes. Angel Delight. Okay. Which flavour? Chocolate Oh no no no The butterscotch Butterscotch Where are you having it Alan? Lowick Court in Northampton It was a treat after Sunday What was Lowick Court? Your road? Yeah yeah Lowick Court Where which is based on Changing Ends is based there Yeah and I remember that Summer Doors being open And yeah just about And it was a real treat Jelly where are you?

56:56I'm at 17 Cunningham Avenue Bishop's Waltham So this was... This is a little village, like 10 miles from Winchester. This is where I was brought up. And this was a housing estate where, like, I would play out on the streets till I heard my mum bang a saucepan to come in for tea. But on Sundays, our back gate was shut. That's not a euphemism, Alan. And we weren't allowed out because it was different. It's like, oh, cheeky. Oh, our back door, our back gate was shut. Because my mum said, you're not playing anywhere other than your back garden today because it's disrespectful to the neighbours. You don't want to be making a noise anywhere else.

57:42Old school, love it. So sweet. And we used to have jelly. That was a treat, but we might have it like once a week. My mum might do it and I would see it and she would let me. but I would have a cube of jelly raw to eat before she put it in a plastic jug and then added hot water to it and set it. And that was it. Sometimes we'd put blancmange on the top of the jelly, Alan. But it would be a strawberry blancmange and that was exotic in our house. Amanda and Alan, it has been better than I could have even anticipated. We have been so wanting you two together. You are welcome whenever you just need to let some stuff.

58:20Is this your first couple on the show? Or if you had a couple... No, love. No, but it could be our best. Oh, yes, I love you. Oh, you're last.

58:45Well, I can tell you that's a cure for jet lag. that's a cure for a lot of things those two together are hysterical amanda holden is filthy and fabulous she's such good fun and we all know how we feel about alan car we adore him yeah and them together i i don't feel like we've had this most like debauched and kind of derailed episode of table manners since maybe series one or two no it really feels like the old days does just one finger darling oh my god i can't drink anymore you had two fingers i had more than two fingers i tell you um thank you to alan carr and amanda holden for a riotous wednesday um that was very very fun as i knew it would be but i loved it and also the recipes that yeah i can't speak i can't speak um okay the food was delicious thank you and it was all gorgeous and the best fun we'll see you next week for more table numbers