Charley Marlowe

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1:36Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Whirl and I'm feeling slightly faint because I've just sliced my finger off with a mandolin. And it wasn't Captain Carellis? No. I'm not going to lie. Do you feel funny? I do feel a bit funny. And I'm fuming at you because I didn't need potatoes on the menu. I'm sorry. Anyway, I have been so excited to use my new mandolin and now I will... Yeah, I know, it's seeping. It's seeping. Jessie, you then told me to take over and I've done the same thing. I don't think I did take her. So, tell you to take her back. Excuse me, Jessie. I think, no, you didn't.

2:09You said, Mum, can you do it? Yours is not as bad as mine. Because I wrap mine up very quickly. It isn't as bad as yours. How much do you think is missing? How many millimetres? I don't actually want to know, but my nanny, gorgeous Rosie, really came in like casualty. Yeah, she's definitely... 24 hours in A &E. She was fantastic. Yeah. But I do feel quite peely-wally. feeling a bit odd but we we have coming up on the podcast charlie marlowe who i've been such a fan of she is the warmest funniest content creator i think out there she does a lot of junkets you'll have seen her charming amy lee wood and nicola cochland um she's a big fan of jane mcdonald i met her at the mighty hoopla a couple of weekends ago and i said you must do the podcast and so yeah I've invited her down she's coming down from Manchester I'm going to talk to her all about well all things Charlie Marlow okay and I've been in charge of the cooking yeah good so Charlie said that didn't end well did it but I am blaming you of course you are we didn't need potatoes that's the job of a mother being blamed anyway on the menu today mob apps speedy chicken roast chicken so charlie had given us a heads up that she was a bit picky with certain textures so but she did say she liked roast chicken so i was like right i'm just gonna do this really quick one so it's you brown off some chicken supremes you know the one like bone in breast and legs and then you in some butter and olive oil and then you put loads of sliced onions in you put the chicken back in you put some white wine in and some parmesan rinds put it in the oven cook it till it's cooked through and then you put parmesan over the top and so it's kind of cheesy wine-y onion-y delicious it smells amazing I made some sourdough so to dip all the lovely juices in and we've got some steamed greens and some potato and some gratin I'd rather not talk about that okay yeah I've done some mandolin Fucking potatoes and chicken stock and oregano.

4:22And then I've done a bass cheesecake and I've never made one of them before. Well, a little spout. Thank you. Charlie Marlow is here at the door, coming up on Table Manor.

4:49Charlie Marlow has just walked into pure chaos. We've both done our fingers in on the mandolin. And I don't mean the guitar, I mean the potato slicer because Mum demanded potatoes when I wasn't going to do it because I've made a sourdough loaf. But I thought you'd like potatoes. Would you eat sourdough with cabbage? I would. I would, Lenny, because I'm in your home. Well, technically, Jessie's out. But not normally. I wouldn't reach for it. No, exactly. In a polite manner. I said, she won't reach for it, Jessie. Put potatoes on it. Well, now I can't reach for anything because I've got no fucking thumb.

5:26It's like casualty in here. I've not been allowed it. No, my mum won't let me have a mandolin. No, they're lethal. They're dangerous. I got it. I got it on Deliveroo yesterday because I was like, oh yeah, I really need a mandolin because, you know, I need to do those lovely slices of potatoes. Well, yeah, now, I'm just saying, don't go to the bottom of the pan because there may be a bit of finger in there. some gratin okay so no we heard you like roast chicken i love roast chicken so i'm doing a kind of easier version of roast chicken which is a mob kitchen app recipe which is uh chicken supreme so you know the bit when you get a breast but it's bone in so it's a bit more juicy and then with loads of onions white wine yeah garlic and parmesan oh stunning and then we're having basque cheesecake oh stunning lovely now we did get a warning that you're funny with textures does a cheesecake give you the ick?

6:17no I could do a cheesecake what can't you do Charlie Marno? I can't, listen I think I've got that R-fed thing what's R-fed? oh you have to have the foods no I don't actually know what it is I think you have like five safe foods but then I think I've got a plethora of safe foods so maybe you don't have a problem it's like if I think about a salad and I think oh yeah chuck an avocado on it and then if it was presented to me I'd like I'd really struggle to eat it but do you like avocado and do you like salad no oh right do you like vegetables it was indifferent okay well then don't have the steamed greens forget about the greens no I do I do I do what sort of vegetables do you like I love a carrot I was listening to Paddy McGuinness carrots and turnip okay turnip's a swede is that what you said yeah yeah mashed it up sorry I didn't do that today you're not getting that today it's alright anything that resembles like baby food i can have okay you like a puree yeah cauliflower i'm not fun though broccoli love potatoes sugar snaps love a sugar snap okay i'll shove some i'll put a monge too in love a monge too okay i'm not that bad but then it's like get a cucumber out forget about it oh gosh how strange stinks anything that people say they can't taste it 70 water I can Watermelon Again Stinky Celery Stinky Well not so bad With a celery I wouldn't call them Stinky Stinky I wouldn't say Celery was a stinky It's got something About it that Just you're not into Yeah Have you come down From Manchester Yeah Thank you so much Where do you live I'm from Manchester I know you are Which bit are you from Donnie I'm from Liverpool Oh So you wouldn't think Yeah I was going to Commune with you What about being a manc?

8:06Well, no, I do get mistaken for a manc. You're an honorary manc. Yeah. But your accent's not very Liverpool. I know. People get... So I've moved about a lot. So all my family are from Liverpool. Cheers, by the way. Cheers. You've brought a lovely rosé. Oh, thank you. Cheers. Cheers, everyone. After what we've been through. This is bleeding through, so I will... Yeah. Oh, freaking hell, sorry. Oh, my God. Do you think you need a stitch? Lovely. That's what sandwich from Marksies gets you. Nice one. We love Marks. Marks in Houston. Mark's is back online. Oh, thank God. Monkey, cyber attack. Except you can't collect in store yet.

8:44And the delivery is two weeks. That's a piss take. I've had to go to Mark's. That's a piss take. That is a piss take. Mum, they've lost about 30 million pounds. More, four million a day. Oh, yeah. Over about six, seven weeks. I've nearly gone under. Honest to God. Oh my God, you don't know I buy every day from rocks. I've never gone with them. You're going to be okay, Lenny. I hope so. I would have had a breakdown. If they go bankrupt. I would not. I went into the shop and I said, when's it going to be sorted? I can't cope. Let's not think about all the jobs that will be lost. No, they said, don't worry, we're back.

9:24The lady at Collier's Wood told me they were testing out. So it's two week delivery. So I won't be able to get a nice new granny pants for Glastow. So, Liverpool. Let's talk about Liverpool. Liverpool. So, all my family. So, my dad's in the army. Yeah. So, we moved about. So, I moved to Manchester for uni in 2018, and then I've stayed. You're not a Scouse. You do not have a Scouse accent. Scouser, Lenny, please. Oh, really? Is that offensive? Is it like calling a Jewish person a Jew? Yeah, it's a bit like... But we hate the Scousers, of course. From Man United. We've got one in the room. The Man United.

10:00The Man United song. No, OK, United. Well, I used to live on Trafford Road. Did you? Yeah, so I'd see them all. I don't feel any discourse. Are you a blue or a red? My dad's a blue. I've actually been trying to get him a season ticket. For Everton? Yeah. And someone said the waiting list starts in 2019. Well, it's going to be a new ground, isn't it? Oh, it's lovely. Have they opened a new ground already? So they moved out of Goodison, didn't they? Yeah. But frigging hell, apparently the waiting list is like six years long. for me I've got no chance no where are you living at the moment I live in Manchester I live in City Centre City Centre is it a quarter sometimes they're called different bits of Manchester now very fancy pants like the Northern Quarter so I'm quite near Ancote oh it's cool out there there's spinning fields spinning fields Dean's Gate spinning fields of course where the infamous Soho house is coming oh no not ready yet oh my goodness It might never be ready.

11:01So how's this hit Manchester? I know, take it away, I say. Why? Knocks me sick. Why? Oh, I don't know. It's just a bit too long. I just feel a bit too many people are coming up now because the rent's cheaper. Yeah. It's not for me. It's getting more expensive. Oh, mate, yeah. So let's talk about Liverpool. Yeah. Dad in the army. So moved around a lot. Yes. So I can imagine many different kitchens. Many are different, yeah. Who was cooking and who was round the dinner table? So it's me, me, my mum, my dad. Just you three? Yeah, and the dog. My mum, my dad can't cook, save his life. So it's just my mum who's cooking.

11:39She's a very, very good cook. Yeah. But yeah, we'd have all sorts. We didn't have a lot of money. So it was often a bit. I called her before this. I said, what did we eat? A lot of jacket potato. A lot of... What were the toppings? Cheese and beans always. Okay. Tuna if we felt a little bit mad. Yeah. We'd have steak pie. On a Sunday, she makes a lovely sticky toffee pudding. Oh, yum. Everything homemade. I can make a lovely tomato sauce. I'd make the scones. You'd make the scones? Oh, I was really good at making scones, yeah. Have you been on Bake Off yet? No, but that's my favourite episode was with Mel and Sue in lockdown.

12:18Oh. That was brilliant. What are you? Yeah, that is so sweet. They were sitting in a wardrobe. Yes. Yeah, and Sue was trying to clear out the whole larder. But she had clothes on her head. They're lovely. Do you remember? I love them. I'd love to meet Sue Perkins. You need to do Bake Off? Oh, I'd frigging love to do Bake Off. Would you? I've got a real... I don't know if it's like the lesbian in me or if it's some, like, feminist thing, but it's that Paul Hollywood shake. Oh, I'd just... In a nice way, not like in a, like, you know... What, you want it? Call the police. No, I'd want to smack him.

12:50Oh. You know, like... Or you wouldn't, the eyes. Well, I don't know. I just, I feel like... My dude got lovely eyes as well, so you out-eye him. Stop it. I don't know, I almost see him as like my dad. Do you want to slap your dad? No, but just, you know, when you want it, like, you can go to your dad, like, well, fuck it, shut up. I think I could prove it. Is she still on it? Yeah. Oh, Jessie, that looks amazing. Thank you so much. Wow. Wow. It's a lot of cheese. Just back off, just back off. Wow. Cheese is like a fondue. So, when your dad's been stationed in the different, Have you been abroad?

13:28Yeah, yeah. So where was the best food that you were stationed, when you were stationed? Or did you just get the kind of the barracks food? No, we were, so when we lived in Germany, I loved the Christmas markets there. I bet you did. I just got like all the Danish and the bakeries and stuff like that. Like they'd always be like markets on. Viener schnitzel? Oh, I loved a schnitzel. Yeah. Schnitzel. Can't say it right. Schnitzel. What else? When we lived in Cyprus, Oh, what was that like? That was gorge. Did you go to Ayanapeba every weekend? Oh, my God, yeah, we'd always go to... No, you know what?

14:03Because we didn't have, like, holidays when we were there. We'd just go to different places in Cyprus, so we'd always go to the Turkish side. Oh, did you? We'd go to the Trudas Mountains. We'd go to Ayanapeba. We'd go... I think we went one time to the Panhandle, and there's been great whites spotted by there. I'm a big shark fan. Are you? Yeah. Oh, I love sharks. How did that happen? Don't know, just love them. I don't know if it's that one thing where you, like, hold on to it when you're younger. Have you swum with them? No, I wouldn't dare. Why would you swim with a shark? I thought you swum with dolphins.

14:38No, it's a thing to go and set the new thing, though. Yeah, but have you ever seen 47 metres down? Oh, my God. Forget it. Yeah. Scary. Really? Yeah. I mean, I would love to. Why do you like them so much, then? Don't know. You're, like, friendly, and sharks don't appear the most like Charlie Marlow to me. Do you know what I mean? No, I just, I love them. I don't know if it's that thing where like you know when you have that I don't know something that you love when you're a child and you just cling on to it like sharks and like Egyptian history for me oh really? really? Tutankhamun is that what you did at uni?

15:08no I did medium before I wish I was that clever Lenny no I wish I did Egyptology but you were at Manchester doing Salford yeah Salford good old Salford are these the famous potatoes? Yeah, with a thumb. Oh, my God. Potato and thong gratin. Lenny, how do you prep for an interview when you've got someone round? Depends. Jessie just said you're going to love her, so I didn't prep. And I knew that you're very famous on TikTok, and you do all these red carpets, and you were the voice behind I Kissed a Girl. I Kissed a Girl, indeed. How did you get that gig? Did she do an audition? Did you do an audition?

15:52Oh, yeah, and they were quite annoyed. In fact, no, was it the audition I did? I'd just got Invisalign, so I had to get all of these confident bums in, all these bumps on my teeth, so I had Invisalign strapped to me. And I was like, sorry, I've got to keep it in for at least two days. I was like, this time on the masher ear. And they were like, next time you come in, can you not do that? I was like, sorry, yeah, yeah. Sorry about that, guys. Slobber coming out of me. do you mind the consistency of onions? Love an onion. Okay, thank God. Thank you very much. Oh my God, this looks amazing. And this is why one has the bread to dip.

16:30Thank you so much. Okay, we'll do both. Friggin' hell. Have some bread. They made this. Jessie, she's a domestic goddess. How do you do this with all the sourdough starts? Because that's what I can't be asked with. I just got really into it and it's like really, really satisfying. Now, I don't know if the potatoes are fully done. You don't want this? No, it's fine Thank you though, thank you so very much You are having a beige Oh, I've seen a bit of thumb No, I haven't Thanks, mate Wow Did you like Greek food then in Cyprus? Yeah, I was still quite fussy Or did you prefer German schnitzel? I loved a bit of schnitzel I loved halloumi A lot of piss of bread knocking about Didn't go as far as to try hummus Why?

17:16Very fussy, eight year old okay how long were you there for about 10 months the first time and then two years but also when somebody's going try it try it you'll love it you're just like that's when you're like adamant you're not going to right like i was like do you do it with your kids and you're like you're not leaving the table till you finish that no no no i've stopped that because it doesn't work so i just go that's cool yeah no but yeah there's no like i just say there's no pudding like that's fine you're full then that's fine so you won't be able to fill an ice cream in oh i had that it was like either eat this vegetable soup or you're not leaving the table and I'd be like you and it's in the eye do you cook now hmm so what would be if we were coming around to yours what would you be cooking Lenny and I oh I think I might do a roast chicken too you know yeah maybe a spag bol well I heard you talking about spag bol the other day and I nearly did what's your special ingredient in the honey honey on everything never had that oh honey and scrambled eggs honey on everything I'm like when you the poo honestly honey I could just eat it by jar a maple syrup I could drink maple syrup but the good stuff from Canada would you say you've got a sweet tooth yeah I think so but for certain things if you came to me with the rocky road forget about it touch it.

18:39So you're picky about sweet stuff too? Yeah. Whereas I stick it off my pudding. Is that garlic? Oh no. Oh yeah. Oh no, that's me thing. Oh thank God. I put 10 cloves of garlic in one dish and I'll eat it and it'll be seeping out my paws and I can't smell it. My girlfriend's like. You're kind of unpredictable really. I couldn't follow what your trend is in terms of food hmm I know we're like me little weird things you know what's really lovely what hummus and tuna oh you are eating hummus now oh yeah I can love hummus oh god when did you decide that you liked it what age hmm when you left Cyprus yeah yeah soon as we left no maybe about 13 bit picky though only the Marxist hummus which one extra virgin any the organic, the low fat, any of them.

19:34I find that the other supermarkets are just not on par with it. Have you ever tried making it though? I think me and my mum have. And? Yeah. I think it was nice. I even make it too garlicky. Oh, that's not a problem. If you're in the house the next day. What's the prep for you? You know, on the red carpet meeting a lot of people, rubbing, you know, hobnobbing. Hobnobbing. Do you have like your prep before? Do you get, have you got a packet of smints? Yeah. Have you got a mirror to check that you haven't got any stuff in your teeth? Yeah, always a packet of smints. Who dresses you? Well, I got my first custom dress the other week.

20:10Oh, nice. I felt like Madonna. Did you? Yeah, I felt so cool, but I couldn't sit down because it was corseted. I couldn't sit down. It was that aggro studios who make a lot of jade stuff. Great. So I did my red carpet stuff for the BAFTAs, and then we went in and it's a three-hour ceremony. Right, yeah. Oh, and I was sat and I couldn't breathe. and I thought, oh. How did you go for a week? Lenny, I had to go back to my hotel. It was 10 minutes down the road. No, stop. I had to get reception to get me out of it. I went to my room. I stunk. Got a shower. Put on a black summer dress and went back to Royal Festival Hall.

20:45Not like that. Hiya. But I felt free. Oh. Felt free. I got off my side. It's rough photo. Yeah, this is it. It's like wearing an all-in-one. Yeah. And you have to ask people in the toilets to help you. This is it. I got the picky I was clean I was fresh do you think it was it was just because it was so tight that you perspired mate it was a very hot day it was boiling

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22:41But there's only one Zinn. Check out Zinn.com slash find to find Zinn at a store near you. Warning, this product contains nicotine. nicotine is an addictive chemical when you think of skyrocketing brands like aloe all birds or skims it's easy to credit their success to great products sleek branding and brilliant marketing but here's the overlooked secret the real magic lies in the engine behind the scenes the business powering their business for millions of brands that engine is shopify making selling seamless for them and shopping effortless for us upgrade your business and get the same checkout aloe yoga uses sign up for your one dollar per month trial period at shopify.com retail all lowercase go to shopify.com retail to upgrade your selling today shopify.com retail how much do you prep for an interview because you i mean you do a lot of red carpets where you're meeting so many different people and you are so your style and I don't know whether it's become something that you it's just natural to you or you've kind of had to really work it I doubt you've had to really work at it because you're brilliantly warm and funny but you're you're gifted at these one-liners that are considered one-liners do you know what I mean it's not like they're not she's funny you are funny you are funny but like when did you discover this i think when you're moving around a lot when you're little it's either be funny or you've got no mates do you know what i mean i think you've got to adapt a lot but do you do stand-up no you know what i did him i was doing it at uni for a bit because we were all gonna go to the fringe and then covid hit and i never did it you should be doing stand-up i know but i feel a bit too scared do you regard yourself as a comedian or a TV personality or a tick tock kind of content person or all of them never know what to say I say presenter presenter presenter and content creator mainly but I know it's hard in it I feel like it's like a new world of people doing what is a content creator just like Instagram and all that shite like oh is that what when did you start doing that charlie so i did that at uni yeah because basically covert hit so i do media at uni anyway yeah when covert hit so i was doing loads of workshops with the bbc over zoom itv and all that what kind of workshops like how to pitch to commissioners how to do this how to do that if you had made your own tv show how would you bring it to them yeah and they basically said like you know if we were looking for talent to host this program we'd rather them have a following yeah to give the show an extra yeah you know you've got 50 ,000 followers great we've got 50 ,000 followers of an audience to bring already before we've even started and I thought I think it's like subconsciously stuck with me a little bit and I thought okay better make my own following yeah because I started so I left uni and then I went into working into like TV so you got into content content making which now is kind of you know there was the reason I know of you your content's fantastic is the end goal to do more telly or do you feel almost like you have your own version of your television within tiktok and instagram well i don't know because this is what i mean i feel like you speak to people who are like solely on telly and then they want to get more into yeah doing content creation doing vids online do you know what i mean trying to get out there more but then everyone where i'm coming from is trying to get onto telly So I feel like it's turning into this weird half-and-half kind of world.

26:32And I think, like, channels are... They've got less money to play around with. So I think that's making it even harder to then... There's less of kind of, oh, you know, we're thinking about doing this, like, little kooky, crazy, funny segment, get you it. Like, they've just not got the time, they've not got the budget for that. So what was the first one that took off? Can you remember? I think maybe me just going on it, because I've got rosacea on my nose, so I think it was like the height of COVID being like people say I look like I've been drinking red wine no I haven't and I think like people's attention spans back then were a lot better and I think a lot more was like funnier because it was like what's this new app so everyone was like that's funny and it just I feel like it like snowballed a bit but it was quite like it was quite sporadic in how it would grow so then I was working working in telly I did my week on Naked Attraction and then I'd flitter between being like a COVID runner who everyone fucking hates you shoving things up people's noses shoving things up people's noses going can you put your mask on and then I'd be a production runner so I'd do half and half and then finally I was doing some presenting but I had to lie and be like I've got the doctors and I'd be on the streets of Manchester doing vox pops with like spec savers sorry guys I'm not well and then yeah it just I think I had like I finished my last tele job in November and then I was like right I'll take the rest of the year off see how this goes when was this?

27:522022 okay and then And you've basically been contenting for two and a half years. Yeah. I think I just kept saying, like, I want to be a presenter. But wouldn't you like your own show? Oh, I'd love it. Yeah. I'd love it, but I think I do... I don't know, because you have times where you're, like, reflecting, you look back, don't you, and you think, oh, I want to do this, I want to do that, and I think, I'm 24. You're a baby. Wow, you're a baby! Stop it. No, but I do think, like, it's not... There are some things where I think, like, oh, fucking hell, I'd love to present this morning, and I think you're not going to get, a 24-year-old is not going to present.

28:26I think, and you are baby-faced, but you have a wisdom about you that doesn't seem like a 24-year-old. I know, but they are over 50-year-old. Wow. I think you could get this morning baby. Who are your favourite female comedians?

28:43Dawn French. Yeah. Love Victoria Wood. Yeah. Diane Morgan. Love her. I'm trying to think like yeah French and Saunders like that kind of vibe who's the one that did this you must have been really young when French and Saunders came out like almost not born yeah but when we lived when we lived in Cyprus in Germany like we didn't have Sky there was like three channels so I was watching like the A-Team like Vicar of Dibley Fawlty Towers because there was nothing on like I remember the people who were minted enough to have Sky they were two weeks ahead of us on Corrie so we'd because it was all we had so we were like I was eight years old going up to people going like, what happened to Kevin?

29:22What happened to Kevin and Sally? Like, are they still together? Because we just like, didn't have it. Being a funny person and having to kind of survive in this travelling around, were there tough times? And also being queer as well and being, when did you come out to your parents? Yeah, only in like 2019. Okay. But yeah, that was quite, I think they'd seen, I think they suspected it. I think they'd seen, I kept handing my mum my phone and there was a picture of me and my then girlfriend on the screen. Yeah. She was like, who's that? Yeah. And I was like, who's my girlfriend? And then it was fine after that.

29:59But, yeah, we don't really talk too much about feelings. Okay. We're not like, we couldn't do this. Got it. No. You couldn't? No. But then, like, I would say that we are very close and that we, do you know what I mean? But I think. So when you've got a problem, who do you ring up? I don't know, my girlfriend. I speak to my mum and dad about it. Yeah, probably my girlfriend. How did you meet your girlfriend? Oh yeah, so she messaged me on Instagram saying, people say I look like Jane McDonald. And then I clicked straight on it. She knew what she was doing there, didn't she? Yeah, and I was like, hello.

30:32That was a great, great chat up line. I finally met her. I finally got to sit down and have an interview with her. How was it? It was so good. It was unreal. Is she nice? She's unreal. Warm. Yeah. But I was meant to do, when I did the Sopa Watch, she was hosting it. I was meant to get a bit of time with her. And then they were like, she's running late. No. But she was so good. Did she have some picky tea with her? Picky tea. It's not what she loves. She loves a picky tea. She loves a picky tea. No, we had it in a posh hotel, I think, in Mayfair. So they had a few cakes and a few bickies, but I didn't dare eat.

31:09That's a bit picky. Yeah, it's a bit picky. I look a bit fancy. Are you ready for some pud? Oh my god, yes, please. Before I pass out, because this is literally bleeding through. Jessie, this is not right. You're bleeding out. I'm really. Keep drinking with you. Maybe we need to make you a cup of tea like you're a blood donor. So you made this as well? I did. Freaking hell do you. Don't give her that bit because it's got a bit of liquid on it. That's all right. Wow. It's a bit of condensation. I made this yesterday. Thank you so much, bloody hell. I've never made it before. Jessie, I haven't even got a spatula here.

31:45I don't know where I'm up. So, last supper, Charlie Marlow. Oh, yeah. Starter, main, pud. Drink of choice. I've not thought about it. Starter. I do like a burrata. Yeah. A little burrata, maybe a... Oh, what are those lovely Italian things when they fry the veg? Barrancini. Oh, maybe a bit of barancini. Frito and misto. Yeah, when they fry the veg. Okay, yeah. Yeah, maybe a bit of that. What, tempura veg? If you want extra cream, baby. Oh, thank you. And then for my main, probably a leg of lamb. I love lamb. Love it. And then over my pudding. Really delicious, Jess. Maybe a sticky toffee pud. God, that was nice and simple, wasn't it?

32:26And what are you drinking? Bish, bash, bosh. Do you like cocktails? I love a cocktail. Go on, what's yours? April Spritz. But I do love a Mahito. This is bloody lovely. Thank you. Delicious. Greg, who is my lovely friend, who has this great deli in Nunhead called Mother Superior. Nice one, Greg. Yeah, nice one, Greg. And he gave me his recipe and he's been refining it. So he uses a Felicity Cloak. No, I think I called him Felicity Cloak. I was like, all right, mate. So he's taken two different recipes. But he said I needed to get a silicone mould. Oh. And I said I can't get that on delivery, mate.

33:06So, unfortunately. I think it's fine with that silicone mould. That's lovely. I wouldn't get a silicone milk because you wouldn't be able to get it out. You thought, hold on a minute. When I said... When you went past cheesecake, I thought, I don't like cheesecake. Oh, no. I don't like cheesecake either, actually, but I like this. Yeah, no, it's really nice. You're very good at hiding it. Fucking you and the hell, cheesecake. She's also so honest. If I'm at someone else's house, I'll eat it. What would we find in your fridge? You would find 15 bottles of Plosacco. you would find you like a cheeky Prosecco which brand?

33:43you know what I'm quite easy I like the Sainsbury's and I like the Marxist one do you? yeah I treat myself the 12 quid one do you prefer it to champagne? yeah I think if you get a nice enough Prosecco it tastes near the same I like Prosecco but I don't like it in the same way as I like champagne but I feel you can drink it without guilt? Yeah, it goes down very easily. Yeah, it's easy. So you've got Prosecco, 15 bottles of Prosecco. Yeah, Prosecco, bottle of milk. Oh, God. Red pepper that's gone off. Some eggs. What do you put your milk in you don't like to? The coffee. Your coffee. Love a coffee.

34:24How do you take your coffee? Dead grown up at the minute, just a nice latte. Oh. You make it at home? Yeah, and I feel, honestly, I don't ever get that feeling, but it makes me feel better than everyone else. No one, I don't have to put anything in it. Do you have a stirrer, like on TikTok, when they do their, like, college and ice latte in the morning? Get ready for me. Maybe that's the next step, Charlie. I know, maybe I'm booted up a bit. That's probably it. I think because I'm here, there and everywhere, I don't. Not really any food. No. Jessie's just nearly taken her finger off with a mandolin.

34:54I really am. It will not be her most treasured kitchen instrument. Which do you have in your kitchen you can't live without? A piece of equipment. I love it. Open up. oh my cheese grater it's a bit too soon to talk about grating no a cheese grater is that to go on your baked potatoes with your beans that's one thing I think like you know those like money saving tips that never leave you it's like never buy pre-grater cheese why? because it's expensive it's expensive and it's always got that horrible plasticky film on it it's like minging always grate your cheese and what is your comfort food? ooh maybe my mum's spag ball no, my mum's steak steak pie loads of gravy on roast potatoes can I ask you a nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere?

35:51ooh, it was when we lived in Cyprus there used to be this like berry drink called Energy 5 and I don't know if they still do it but I remember drinking that and it would always make me think of like when I was little Was that something that you'd like Think is kind of good for you Yeah and then it turns out There's like 20 grams of sugar per glass Yeah I think they do it in Greece too Like those fruit juice drinks And that reminds you of being in Cyprus Was it a happy time in Cyprus Yeah it was lovely Have you been back since you've been a grown up I went when I was 30 Oh you know I did I went a couple of years ago But to Bathos But we didn't live there I think you know what I found that it was very sheltered Because you couldn't get a house unless you're a squaddie or unless you are married.

36:33So then when we moved back to the UK, I had a big culture shock because loads of kids at school, their mums and dads were divorced. And they were like, oh, I love it because my mummy and daddy, I get two sets of presents. And I was like, 11-year-old, like, you're in a fucking broken home. I was like, what's going on? I couldn't believe it. And obviously now, like, look at me, I am obviously accepting of people who come when, like, if the mums and dads are divorced or whatever the parent situation is. But, yeah, I couldn't believe it. I felt like I'd come back to the UK and I was on Mars. It felt so rogue.

37:08Do you ever do karaoke? I do occasionally. Which song would it be? Midnight Train to Georgia by Gladys and the Pigs. Oh, nice. I can imagine you absolutely smacking that. I'd love that, yeah. Yeah. That's a bit of me. With that wheeze. Yeah. But the good thing is that wheeze doesn't go either. It's much better than Mighty Hoopla. It's wheeze. It's permanent. don't I you have real clarity in your voice considering you've got such a deep wheeze do you think thank you very much yeah Charlie Marlow thank you for coming down to London for being just gorgeous didn't I tell you you'd love her absolutely gorgeous thank you both so much mummy you're going to get your own TikTok account now and tune in no I'm not darling no I'm not darling she can do consultancy for you then no it's fine yeah god you're brilliant and I can't wait to see you on more and more and more more screens do you worry about what you're wearing when you're doing TikTok do you think well I need to put my makeup on oh yeah no do a shite no you don't love it no yeah honestly i look worse it's the worst i've ever looked on that app and i just think who's that because that's my new pet peeve at the minute you know when people go oh i'm sorry for how i look guys oh no no stop saying that yeah but you're so pretty and gorgeous no you are a sweet gorgeous little face thank you and the best smile.

38:24Yeah. With the composite bonding buttons. Composite bonding? Three more weeks. I've still got them. Yeah, three more weeks and they're off. You can't even see them. See them more from the side. How many have you got? I've got these two big freaking belters there. And then I've got some little ones on the teeth. Is it a Manchester dentist? Yeah. Fuck my teeth up. I was growing up. Yeah. Don't tell her that.

39:06I love her. I told you you'd love her. She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous. Lovely and cuddly and just gorgeous. And funny and brilliant. And I love that she came down from Manchester to do this. And brought rosé. Delicious rosé. and also ate cheesecake when she really didn't want to. So thank you, Charlie Marlowe. We love you. Yeah. I'm going to head off to A &E now. Are you? Yeah. Maybe you should lie down and have your legs raised. Why? I don't know. And you feel a bit faint, isn't that? I thought you'd watched every medical drama. Well, that's what you do to get the blood back into your thing. I'll ask your brother, shall I text him?

39:43He'll just say Heather Paris Eastmore. I know he does. We'll see you next week. Thank you very, very much for listening. And thanks to Charlie Marlowe. Thank you.

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