Josh Widdicombe

0:03Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and well we've had our first situation in how many years? Seven years. Eight years. Yeah, this has never happened before. It's called poor communication, darling. Or too much communication that, like, communication fatigue. You thought I was cooking. We're in your house. Yeah, we're doing the recordings here this week. So I kind of thought that you were cooking the main. What made you think that? Because you sent me a recipe and I went, oh yeah, that looks good, you should do that. Do you know what would have been a good idea? You say, so you're doing the main, Mum?

0:42I just thought you were. Because I thought I was doing two desserts this week. So anyway. So I arrived. Yeah. Relaxed. Yeah. Not cooked anything because you'd done the dessert as well. And you said, what did you say? I said, you've made a kind of soup, haven't you, Mum? And I said, no, I've not made anything. Luckily for us, there's a big tube strike and our guest is late. so it was panic stations but luckily we have excellent listeners and chefs in the room so we all I saw that I'd bought some really nice courgettes the other day and I hadn't used them yet and it was a very much a fridge raid and a quick trip to the local shops but it was a team effort so I decided on you can't go wrong with bold bean beans so I have a jar jar of those butter beans so it's a butter bean with schmaltzy courgettes I put a bit of vinegar to bring a bit of tang to it but then also I put some cream in so anyway it's nice and with some dill and oregano and then I'm going to put some goat's cheese on the top and then I've done Anna Jones I did it for somebody on this podcast and I can't remember who it's the wedge salad in that brilliant cookbook of hers easy wins and I've done that um wedge salad where she does it with a Greek yogurt tahini um chives and dill and then these breadcrumbs with pitted olives and I had some green olives in the fridge so it's very much my husband's gonna be thrilled it's incredibly sustainable and then for pudding my husband is the king of the crumble but we have really beautiful fruit trees in our garden which sometimes it makes it smell like a brewery out there and we've had so many that we haven't known what to do with it so Sam this summer has made it his mission to find what the ones without maggots in because we've had a better year this year and so we've got loads of apples so he had already done some apples but to my dismay when I he was like babe I'm gonna make it now so sweet thank you so much sam he'd left skins on he always does i hate it he always does i want to put this to the listener who wants a skin of apple in their crumble anyone don't think it matters to be honest i think it's not cheap i wouldn't do it it's not gourmet i've tasted his and i think it's good for your like fiber whatever but i didn't think josh widdekin necessarily needed that fibre today.

3:20I don't know. He's a vegetarian. Anyway, so I tried to pull a load of the skin off but there probably is going to be a bit of skin in there and then we had some damsons from the last month that were in the freezer so I've put them in. So we've got a damson and apple crumble and he's done the crumble top but I kind of just texted him saying can you just do a bit more crumble top? So yeah, I don't think it's going to happen. I'm sure it's going to be delicious. With some Pargandas vanilla ice cream. And cream. Yeah, perfect. Job done. Let's talk about who we've got on the podcast. Well, I'm very excited about him because I've admired him for so long.

3:56He is on the last leg and probably one of the most popular podcasts you can imagine. Parenting Hell. Parenting Hell, which started during COVID. He's actually coming to us from whilst being on tour. It's a humongous tour, not my cup of tea. He's doing everywhere, I think until like May 2026. Josh Whittacombe coming up on Tape Miners.

4:25Josh Whittacombe, you are here. I'm here, at last. I'd call that a schlep. A schlep. I know, I left London. London? I quit London. Oh, okay. Last Wednesday. Forever? Forever. I said to you. Well, not maybe forever, you never know what will happen. And that was East London, wasn't it? That was East London, this is South East. And then we've brought you back to this hell. Well, no, I was already coming back. But? Do you know what? In the cab, I always think I've made the right decision. Oh, you're feeling a bit smug today. No, not smug. No, because the train from Exeter, the first one was cancelled.

5:01So you've got to take that. Okay. Got to take that. Which one is it? Great Western. Great Western is Great Western. Not so fucking great. Well, let me tell you about Great Western. Yeah, let's do this. They said they don't do sparkling water anymore. Why? And then, get this, get this. Why is that? So get this, I had a first class ticket, but I sat in economy. Why? Because it was full in first class. Okay. And the woman came past and she was like, I said, can I have a sparkling water? She said, we've only got still. Did you say I was meant to be in first? No, I didn't. Okay, you didn't. But then later on, I was like, I'm going to get a tea from first for free.

5:39Yeah. And what was in there? What could I see with my little eyes? What? Sparkling water. Did you get her name? No, but I got her sparkling water. Two of them. Two of them. But why didn't you sit in first? So I had the options between, well, I don't know. You've bought the first class ticket, then you're sitting in a conic. I'm a man. The first class ones were full enough that I'd have had to sit next to someone else. And I'd rather sit with two to myself. Would you? Yeah, I wouldn't. No, I'd like the service. Would you? Yeah, the sparkling water. You'd like the sparkling water. She likes the chat.

6:14I like the sparky water. She likes the chat. That's why I don't like to sit with people. Do you find that people are like, oh, Josh, let's have a laugh? And then you feel you have to entertain them. No, I've got the headphones in very quickly. Got it. Yeah. Do you not do that? No. No. I don't like earpods. You put earpods in. Airpods, yeah. But Jessie virtually wears them all the time, even when she's with me. So she doesn't have to communicate. Josh, have you actually eaten? No, because I was... Okay. I had a banana. Okay, so can I explain what happened? Yeah, I know, I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, no.

6:48It's kind of okay because now I have to say sorry to you. So... Thankfully. Mum comes in. Yeah. And I say, so mum, you're making that soup, right? And she went... Oh, no. No, you're making dinner. And I said, no, I'm not. No, I've made something. But it's been a bit of a situation of trying to find something in my house. Yeah. But I think it will be okay. Okay. It's, we're having... It's like kind of ready, steady, cooked. It's a little bit like the invention test. The invention test, okay? Here's the ingredients. This has never happened on the podcast. Okay, great. And I was prepared to get a takeaway, but thank God we didn't do that, because that would have been cool.

7:29So who did do it? I made it. Jessie's very inventing cook. I didn't help at all. Let me just sat there and went, no, darling, no. You didn't second it all. I didn't do anything. So we do have a meal for you. Okay, great. And I think it's going to be nice. I'm looking forward to it. You're a vegetarian, aren't you? How long have you been veggie? I'm going to go and get it ready. My whole life. You were brought up. I was brought up veggie. Have you got veggie parents? I've got veggie parents. Did they have veggie parents? No. But they were. Is it genetic? It's not genetic. Stop, Mum. You know you piss them off so much.

8:02I know I don't care. Stop it. No, but I, no, I'm not. I just wondered. So I'm not, I like, I'm not. So you've never tasted meat? Yeah, I have. Mistakenly or various situations. I once mistakenly ate a steak Subway Like I picked up the wrong one Oh my god, did you like it? Well I was so drunk That I didn't really notice I was in Brazil And it was like 3am And we got given the two And I picked up the wrong one And then at the end I was like I didn't order cheese sauce Because I just thought it was some kind of fake meat patty Do you know what I mean? And are your children veggies? No Oh, interesting Yeah.

8:43So who cooks the meat for them? Oh, I could... My wife, probably. But I'd put a... I wouldn't roast a chicken. Is she vegetarian? No, but she's kind of... She's veggie by default. And now you've moved down to Devon. Yeah. Is it like countryside and you're going to keep chickens... No, we live in Exeter. Oh, OK. Yeah, so it's... That's a cool place to live. It is quite nice, actually. Yeah. I met a man this morning who was a hacker. What, like a... A computer hacker? Was he like... Like Johnny M. Miller? The one that did Marks and Spencer's over, maybe. No, he... I'd kill him. He was a hacker, and then he became, like...

9:25Kosher. He became kosher. He works for Amazon now. So, because they employ hackers. Because he's got hacking skills. I'm sorry, when did you manage to have this conversation when you had your AirPods in? In Starbucks at Exeter St. David Station. Like when the train was delayed? Yeah. How did he introduce himself? He was a dad at my daughter's... He's a dad at the school my daughter's just gone to. So you said, hi, I got you. No, I didn't... He came over to me and he was like, oh, you were at the coffee morning. Oh, wow. Yeah, and I was like, I'd been keeping my head down at the coffee morning.

9:59Have you? I didn't want to go to the coffee morning. But you've got to commune with people. I know. Do I have to? Yeah, they... You know what I think? I think you make a really big effort at the beginning and then you can pull back. Do you know there's been no WhatsApp groups so far? What? Yeah. Your wife is on them. No, you've probably been excluded because they know you're not keen and you won't get invited to the cheese and wine party. Fine with that. Yeah. And you won't be manning the bar as Jessie did. Did you man the bar? Yeah, and got drunk. Jo Brown told me to get involved. Oh, you're at Jo Brown school.

10:33No, no, I'm not. But she was on the podcast years ago. Oh. And she just said, get involved, and then people will be less interested. I got involved at the last school. I did the cake stall in summer. Did you? Yeah, because the year before I did Coconut Shine, it was a fucking nightmare. Sorry to swear. It would be. It was awful. Yeah. It was blazing sun. Yeah. There was kids lying that they paid to do the Coconut Shine when they hadn't. You're basically having to referee children. And talk about their moral standing when they're lying. Well, right, so you've got a bucket of coins next, like tokens.

11:07and then when you turn to the coconut side, they're like, I've already put mine in. You're like, what can you do? You can't call them out. Well, you could. Well, you could, but what if they have? What if they have? But didn't your daughter point out, oh, he's a liar. Don't trust him, Dad. Well, she was nowhere near the coconut. She doesn't want to be near me, does she? I want to know, you were a sports writer first. Ish. Ish. Ish. Because I never saw your byline in The Guardian. No, I never made it into that. To be perfectly honest. I never made it into print Oh you never made it into print So where did you make it?

11:42The website Oh you did the Guardian online So I was there when they combined them And what was your primary sport? Well I got there From Manchester Having done linguistics Oh here we go, someone's done her research Here we go, I'm very excited about this Oh god I don't know That looks great It's definitely vegetarian That's great. And it's seasonal. Seasonal, perfect. So we can all feel good. There's a deal. And then we've also got, to remind you of East London, an Anna Jones wedge salad. I thought you said Aled Jones. I thought you said Aled Jones. Is it from East London? It's from Wales. It's from Wales, darling.

12:23Anna Jones. Yeah, I remember her well. Her daughter or son went to the same nursery as... Oh, really? Yes. And then, yeah, and then we've just got some bread. So it's going to be like a bit kind of like... Perfect. Yeah, is this right? This is great. And then we've got crumble for... Oh! OK, great. Seasonal. So which particular sport were you? Not really. I liked football and I thought I liked cricket. So you covered any sport? Well, I got there. I kind of stumbled into the job. Yeah. I wasn't intending to do it, really. I was just stumbling around trying to find a career. Help yourself. And you know it had been called the Manchester Guardian.

13:02Of course it did. But it had moved to London. Such a shame. And then I got a job before that on children's magazines. Oh, wow. Which ones? Dora the Explorer. Dora the Explorer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I moved to London. I wanted a job and I wanted to be a writer of some sort. And that job came up as like an editorial assistant on those magazines. And... Who published them? John Brown Publishing. Okay. And they did all the children's magazines. So they did Mr Bean. I did a bit of work on Mr Bean, a bit of work on Angelina Ballerina. Oh, Angelina Ballerina, Jessie.

13:44It's impressive, isn't it? Yeah. That is lovely. That is so nice. Delicious. Worth the journey. So do you kind of tell jokes at dinner parties? No, I don't go to dinner parties. This is it for me. No, we don't. We've got text groups. It's heavily WhatsApp-based friendships. Do you tell new jokes and test out jokes? No. No, you never try material. Okay. No. Like, semi? No. Would you? Is it just a really depressing WhatsApp group? No, it's not. No, but you'd like... Do you want to know what most things that are going around, and I'd be interested whether musicians have the same. Yeah. 90 % of stuff on comedians' WhatsApp groups is screen grabs, social media of other comedians that you don't respect.

14:39Oh, that's so terrible. You're shit talking about other people. Yeah. And liking the demise of certain... No, not the demise, just like... That was shit. No, not like... So like, not their TV. It's like people who are putting bad comedy on Instagram. Look at this. Oh, you're like... You're like... Stardom Freud. You're like the pitchfork. You're like a pitchfork. No, we're not. We're just... Come on, tell me that you're not... It's just bitching. It's just bitching. It's the same as every office. Actually, you're not bitching. So, Josh, just start thinking about what your last supper would be.

15:16Yep, fine. But I just want to paint a picture of your childhood and food memories. You grew up in Devon. Dartmoor, yeah. Who was around the dinner table? And what's a really memorable dish? So me and my mum and my dad. But then my gran, my mum's mum, lived in the other half of the house. Oh, nice. You see, Jessie? Yeah. I looked that way when I said it. I've offered you the basement. You don't want it. I'm not going to a basement. I'm going to a penthouse. So we moved to Devon when I was three and a half. and my gran had a house in Ealing, West London. Yeah. And she sold that to move down with us.

16:04That kind of paid for us to move down there and then she got half the house and we got half the house. Yeah. So granny lived on the other wing, on the other side. Other side, other home. And was she a good cook? So, no, she would, no. Oh. She was a retired actress or actor. Oh, wow, she sounds bad. Yeah, she was. She was incredible. She was kind of obsessed with, still obsessed with her figure and stuff. So she'd eat lean cuisine ready meals. Oh, my God. Which I don't know if you can still get them. I haven't heard that for a very long time. Yeah, I know. Lean cuisine. Have you ever had a lean cuisine?

16:45No. But you would, like, you did every diet, though. I've done every diet. But not lean cuisine. No. You did lean cuisine. I think they were just bad, low-calorie ready meals. so she'd have a small yes yeah yeah so she wouldn't we'd eat separately to her right we wouldn't all sit down with four lean cuisines no but my parents were vegetarian they were still are old hippies and so we were having like organics and whole foods before right it was fashionable or but at an age when when you didn't want to be you don't want to be that kid because also you're not like this is the coming thing guys hold on because you'll all be eating brown flour before you know it you'll all be home breaking your you know brown bread or tofu i was eating tofu way before so totness must have been xanadu it was close to totness so my dad's currently still he runs a stall on totness market does he selling antique tools oh yeah so you were growing up on lots of whole foods and beans a bit like something like this maybe yeah so you'd be like tofu yeah potatoes greens or dal not a fan i love it did your friends like hippie stew was one of the things hippie stew hippie stew is that another thing no that's that is what that is a thing that's not dull no it's not dull that makes dull feel so exciting what's a hippie stew it's just like a ratatouille no it's just veg in a stew really it's just veg it's just greeny browny veg so there's no finders crispy pancakes no no i do you know what i don't think i've ever had a finders crispy pancake so that was what we were having for dinner if it was a party or birthday a celebration yeah there wasn't a hard like so I was having sweets and chocolate and still stuff it wasn't like a you don't have that but it was like this is what's dinner did you have packed lunch yeah I did have so what was your packed lunch then was it like just a cheese sandwich so it would be the the sandwich would be this was at primary school secondary school I got a pound for lunch which felt just incredible so primary school sandwich which was made with the bread my dad had baked thank you oh my god this is so wholesome and lovely i know but you don't want wholesome and lovely were you resentful i don't think i no i don't think i'd got to the you know when you're a kid you don't understand what's different till you get to about 10 or something so this was happening you're eight it just is do you know what i mean you weren't peeking in other people's lunchbox i remember a family the tiley's and they were getting five pieces of chocolate separate.

19:44And I just thought, you've got the best mum in the world. The best mum. So they would get a club, a penguin, a five, four, three, two, one, a wagon wheel and a gold bar. And you'd be like, this is how to live. Yeah. Yeah. A wagon wheel and a gold bar. I know. Looking back, they must have been absolutely buzzing off their tits. Yeah. Come second. But they're probably very alert. Yeah, exactly. But the crash must have been unbelievable at 4pm. But then the mum comes and picks them up. They're knackered. Then they have cake. Yeah. But you're a parent and you have your brilliant podcast, Parenting How.

20:21And you know what it's like when kids come over for dinner. Yeah. And everyone has different requirements. And my kids have that too. Yeah. And they're a pain in the arse. Yeah. When people used to come over to your house for play dates, would your mum like switch it up a bit? or were people pretty, like in Devon, everyone was kind of on the hippie stew. They wouldn't switch it up, but... No one carried on coming over.

20:49There was no veggie nuggets. Oh, you couldn't have pizza, I suppose. We did have pizza. Do you know, but it was the worst pizza. Why? You know the pizza. Well, it felt amazing then, but you know the pizza you get at the back of the supermarket? Dr. Oscar. No, no, no. I love them. I love them. You like a doctor? The Fiorentina, I love it. I hate a Dr. Oka. Oh, okay. Yeah, right. But you might be sponsored by them. No. We're not. Costa Demolica's the one now. That's the best. Oh, Costa, yeah, they're great. They are great. Do you want some more, Josh? Yeah, I do actually. Yeah, good. Oh, good. Do it.

21:23No, it's great. Let's talk about... Go on, sorry, Mum. I just wondered, is it fun on The Last Leg? Um, yes. Because I would love... I loved you all on that. Do you? Yeah, I think it's one of my favourite Friday nights. How would you rank us? Obviously, you're number one. No. Hang on, Mum. You've always had a bit of penchant for Adam. Have you? Do you see Adam Hill? Yeah, I do. I think he's terribly funny. Do you? Yeah. And I think he's so self-effacing and so funny about his disability. Yes. That's, he just... I think... Yeah, he's just such fun. It's easy for me to forget because we've been doing it for 13 years.

22:03How many seasons now? Like 30 or something? 30. That's crazy. It's mad, isn't it? Were you, like, put together? So I'll tell you what happened. Because it really works. You really work well together. It's total luck. It's like... Kismet. The Paralympics came to London. Yeah. You know when you think about those things that, if they'd been different, your whole life would be different? So even to the point where you're like, London wasn't meant to get those Olympics. That was meant to go to Paris. And it was like this real upset. and then Channel 4 suddenly had the Paralympics in London. Yeah. So they were like, we'll do a switchover show or whatever they're called on E4.

22:42And then they got Adam, because he's spoken about his disability, to host it. And then they needed a comedian that knew about sport. And they asked me and they were like, do you want to do this show? It's a comedy about disabled sport. I was like, I'm not going to have to know. can you imagine and then they were like no no it's really positive and you know and and they were basically like look it's 10 nights no one's gonna watch it that's that was the implication of the producer it's on e4 no one's gonna watch it you get to go to the paralympics why not and then alex won a presenter search on they did like a disabled talent it's called like million pound search for a star or something but you can still watch his video on YouTube his audition that he's filmed himself and then he got put on the sport as one of their sports presenters and then he got they thought he was funny and they were like I will just put him on one episode of The Last Leg and then it worked so they kept him on it and he thought he was being like punished because he was like why have I been taken off the main bit I've been put on this other show so was he a bit like pissed off at the beginning Well, I don't think he really knew what was...

23:58He'd never been in TV. Oh, my God. And then it just kind of worked. So then they turned it... What was a 10-day job has become, like, first time in my obituary. Let's talk about tour, not my cup of tea. You are doing the longest tour I've... Is this so you don't have to do the school drop-off or do any cake sales? I feel guilty about it. No, I'm joking. No, no. Now I feel guilty making you feel that. No, no, no, no. No, it's not. It's because I enjoy the difficult bits of writing the show. Yeah. And, like, if you're like, if people come out and watch it. Of course. That's like, you've just got to turn up and do it.

24:39It's fun. So how many dates altogether? There's about 80 so far. 80. But they're not all together. They're not, it's like three months and then break. You're like Peter Kay. Wow. Like 10 years. I wish I was playing those venues, I'll tell you that. Jesus. Yeah, but a lot of comedians do that because you can go to... Because we can just turn up at theatres. I know. I know I keep, like, comparing it to... But, like, music is... It's an absolute nightmare. The overheads. The overheads. Yeah. Do you know what I have to pay for? Someone's drive me. Support. Lighting, sound. No, don't do those. Oh, you tight bastard.

25:18They come with a theatre. Oh. You don't need clever lighting. Do you get your tour manager to spotlight you? No, there's no spotlight. Do you have a backdrop? I've got a gobo. Do you know what a gobo is? No. So a gobo is just a thing that fits onto a light and then it projects like Batman. Yeah. Like, you know, Batman. So it just looks like you've got a backdrop. Who's putting that up? So it's like, Jesse, you've had something like that. Your name, or we had table manners projected on the back. You've got yourself a gobo there, mate. So I've got that. Do you set that up? No. Right. What's in your rider?

26:01Fizzy water. Oh, yeah, just let me know when you're ready. No, that's good. And I got a load of free on the train. And tea. Fizzy water and tea. Why is it called Not My Cup of Tea? Because the truth is I wanted something that didn't mean anything. And I wanted something that was kind of quaintly British. I like that kind of feeling yeah and I like that kind of parochialism or that kind of Martin Parr or Alan Bennett or Blur or all that pulp or that kind of that's my favoured aesthetic so I was like oh I quite like that phrase because it kind of connotes that kind of stuff and I thought I better be able to come up with loads of material about tea and I haven't got any What is the theme?

26:53Is there a theme going through it? So it's not like... There is a zero theme. What's his name who talks about when he left his wife? Bishop. John Bishop? Yeah. Did he leave his wife? No. What, wait for a while? No. Hang on for a while. The whole thing started about when they split up. And that's how he started comedy. Oh, yeah. Because he was miserable because they'd split up. They're very happily married. And then he has a theme mostly about his family. Right, yeah, no, there's zero theme. No theme. No theme. You will learn nothing. Do you talk about your family? A bit. Do you still get a little kind of breaking news in there or like political?

27:32No. No politics. No politics. Parenting? There's a bit about parenting. I mean, I would have thought that's why people are coming to see you. Give me something, Josh. Give me something. There's no tea, there's no politics. There doesn't sound as much going on. What the fuck do you talk about for an hour? An hour. Hour 20. Go on, five minutes late, it's fine. Do you do that trick? We go up at 10 past and it'll feel like it's added on to the... Was there an interval? There's an interval. Yeah, you can look forward to that. Well, I think, don't the venues make you have an interval? Well, I've never pushed back on it, so I don't know, but I think they probably do it.

28:12Yeah, they do, I think. Yeah, but I like an interval. But no, it's just straight down the line, as many observational jokes as possible about my life in an hour and a half, so you'll laugh as much as humanly possible when watching me without learning about politics or deep meaning. That sounds great. Do you involve the audience? I'll talk to the audience a bit at the top. OK. Yeah, I will.

28:49So, before we have some crumble, what would be on your last supper? Starter. Starter, I would have... It's quite good, isn't it? Because you don't need to worry about getting really tired. No, we don't need to worry about that. You don't really need to worry about the health effects. No. Gosh. You can do what you want, Josh. You can do what you want. Very serious. Are you very serious? Yeah, you are. um my starter i would have burrata that wasn't yeah it wasn't you're a poet and you don't know it starter burrata what would you put it yeah yeah do you know what i think everything that comes with the burrata is distracting for the burrata you're just gonna have like just a ball of burrata because you because in life that's frowned upon but now i'm popping my clothes okay but not bread or anything so I don't like burrata do you not?

29:46kind of oozy and yeah it's like a great big pimple I love an oozy pimple you do? I love an oozy this is actually probably the wrong time to say this you've got an oozy pimple no I don't I've had a few in the summer but something that really relaxes me on TikTok is watching people get their pimples popped I really Oh, my God. What are you typing in? I don't know. It's obviously found me. Oh, it's found you. Because I'm not even following them. But I'm like, ah. A minute comes across as a reel on your Instagram. And when they get these blackheads out, I'm like, oh, my God. It's amazing, Josh. Is that ADM?

30:27What's that thing called? ASMR. ASMR. I'm not really listening to the sound. Right. You like the visual. The visual is stunning. Oh, my God. Anyway, it's like some kind of weird. Is that weird? She's weird. She's kinky. Is it a kink? I don't know if it's a case. I'm going to show it to you in a bit and just see if it gets you going. It won't get me going. It won't? Won't get me going. Satisfying. Make me feel sick. Oh, and are they commentating? No, they're very in the zone. Like, it's some Thai beauty salon. I don't know how they found me. Oh, it's the same place every time. Yeah, they found me.

30:56I still am not following them because I feel like that's, like, it being a bit too, like, committing. But they know. They know. China's government, with their TikTok sats, they know what you're into. They know because I carry on watching till the bitter end. Yeah. Anyway, so you'd have a burrata. Yeah. Delicious. Pizza? I love pizza. Where's your favourite pizza from? No, I was just very interested. Oh, okay. Do you go to Italy on holiday? We got married in Italy. Oh, I know. Did you? We got married in Puglia. Did you have pizza? No. Puglia's not really a pizza place. Is it? No. No. Was it gorgeous?

31:32Yeah, it was amazing. Why did you decide on Puglia? Because you love Italian food or you go there a lot? No, because we've been there a bit. we felt like we didn't want to get married in London although we did get officially married in London but we felt like I don't want to put my foot in here in case this is where either of you had your wedding but you know when you go to a wedding and you think I don't think these people are connected with this place at all yeah they've just chosen a kind of place destination wedding yeah but I thought so we were like let's just do something that feels like it's got an identity and it's like that rather than come to this manor house in Hertfordshire where we've never been.

32:12I hear you. Does that make sense? Yeah, I got married in Greece. You got married in Greece? Yeah, where I've been going since I was little. So don't worry, there was no manor house. Where did you get married? Manchester. Oh! I did come from there. Did you? Yeah, that's how I got married there. Which bit? Really weirdly, it was Jackson's Row which was opposite our synagogue. but you didn't get married in the synagogue no I got married in the register office and then we had the reception in my sister's back garden so we've got burrata and pizza is there any pizza place that you want to give a shout out to well I suppose I shouldn't give a shout out to a major one well you can do why because you do small business shout outs on parenting help so I Franco Manka was which is now everywhere It's not so good anymore, though, is it?

33:06No, but when I... It was a bit. This sounds like... I don't want to be like I saw Coldplay in front of 10 people, but when I used to live in Brixton, not far from here... Yeah, the Frankamanka. On the market. Yeah, on the market. It was so good. It was amazing. Do you think that's even associated with the main thing now? Well, I don't know. Does it still exist? Yeah, it's still there, Frankamanka. But I remember going there first, and I couldn't believe the crust. It was so good. It was light, and it was just... It was amazing. It bubbled up, didn't it? It was incredible. And then I sat... Their salad dressing was great too, I remember.

33:37Oh, their salad dressing. But you sat in the market. Yeah, it was great. And they refused to serve tea or coffee with milk afterwards because they thought it affected your digestion. Oh. And I like it when they're like that difficult. Do you know what I mean? So they're like proper Italians. I respect that, yeah. But I don't even know if it's the same thing. I don't know. I'd love to know the business in and out if someone could write in. Me too. But I hope they've made loads of money. So what's your toppings, darling? I'd go for chillies. You're kidding. I'm not. Poor bugger can't have pepperoni, can he?

34:14He can't. Poor bugger can't. Poor bugger. Stop. Mum's just lost about 5 ,000 people. Do you get, if you're in Pizza Express, do you like the chilli shit? Do you remember these? Yeah, and I like chilli oil. I have, I love hot. You like hot sauce? I like everything hot. Which is your best hot sauce? I'm not, I prefer a really spicy curry or chilies on a pizza to a hot sauce. Okay. But I love heat. Which, it took me years to find out. Because I presumed that I wouldn't because of what I'm like generally. Because I'm not. You don't look like a hot sort of person. Exactly, I don't look like a hot sauce.

34:57I wonder if it's the blonde hair. I think it's because I'm not an alpha. You expect it to be a kind of rugby bloke, don't you? No. Do you not? No. I think cowboy. Cowboy? Yeah. Cowboy with a chiller oil. Cowboy, yeah. Really? Yeah, they like hot things, don't they? How many cowboys have you spoken to? Branding people and things like that. I don't... What the fuck is she talking about? Like the Marlboro Man? Yeah, exactly that. It was a cigarette. It wasn't the infinite amount. Yeah, but I just imagine you more kind of... Hot cigarettes, aren't they? Rugged, yeah, rugged, I suppose. Okay, so you like a hot pizza.

35:32Are you going to have any sides with that? No, waste of time. Okay. I saw you with that salad. I actually had to shove it on your plate. No, no, I did enjoy the... You did enjoy it, but I did have to tell you. No, no, I was going to say, I did enjoy the Frankamanka salad. I did too. How many pizzas could you eat, do you think? Great question. Do you think you'd have more than one? I suppose... Yeah, I could. I always get to the end and think I could go again. Yeah. But have you ever been to Pizza Hut Buffet? I can't imagine you have. Not for a long time. For a long time ago, it used to go. Streatham High Road.

36:01It used to be the highlight of your brother's life. Yeah, when they had a pizza hut. And the ice cream as much as you could eat with sprinkles. But you could never eat as much as you actually thought you were going to eat. No, you couldn't. That was very doughy, though. It was very doughy. It probably still is. Yeah. Okay, so we're doing that. And then drink of choice? Drink of choice. Spotted water. Oh, tea. Okay, how do you take your tea? Strong but milky. Okay. Does that make sense? Do you have a preferred tea, Yorkshire? It just has to be bag in the mug. A long time. I don't want a pot. I hate a pot.

36:36Do you leave the bag in while you're drinking the tea? Only if I'm back in. Oh, to give you a bit of a boost. No, I wouldn't do that. I think that's a bit extreme. If I'm driving, I'll do that because I think... If you go to a service station, I'll think I'll leave the bag in because I haven't got time to... Okay. Are you only a tea drinker? Coffee sends me mental. Does it? Oh, what do you do? I get really, really high. Oh. And then really, really low. Oh. Yeah. When did you discover that? At uni, I was drinking six cups a day. Okay. And it was really having an effect on me. You couldn't live in Greece, darling.

37:19I couldn't live in Greece. You're right. Not just for those reasons. They drink it all day. Yeah, well, I go to Greece on holiday. and when you order tea by the pool, they look at you like you're scum. Yeah, a bit weird, yeah. And they're right. Yeah. So I can only drink tea. So pudding, have you got a sweet tooth? Cheesecake. Oh. What, the Pizza Express cheesecake? Do you remember that one? No, I don't remember that one. It was so good, wasn't it? What was on that? Creamy. Oh, just classic. Yeah, classic. Yeah. Any cheesecake, really. Really? Yeah. Topping? Cherry? No, not the one where they've got the sharp, you know, light cherry or sharp fruit I don't really want.

38:02Shit, I'm about to give you a fucking crumble. No, I like a crumble. Are you sure? Have you got anything on it? I've got cream and ice cream. Yeah, let's do it. Okay, fine. Is that okay? That's great. Oh, I still enjoy the cheesecake. I'm worried it's going to be a bit sharp. No, I don't mind sharp. I'm just saying, if I'm about to die, I'll forgo the sharp fruit. Okay, fair enough. having a nice afternoon with you. OK, great. With you guys. I'm going to get the crumble. Yeah. You support Climeth Argyle. How do you retain this stuff? Have you got an idiot board over there? No, I can remember silly things.

38:34OK, yeah. Have you always supported them since you were little? Yes. Yeah. So since I was eight? Eight. And which division are you in? Win League One. Well, that's all right. Yeah, we're quite good. I'm Southwood City in that now. Quite possibly. Yeah, because I think they've come up from it. Yeah. Do you like Soulford City? Is that where you're from? Yeah. I kind of watch them because all the boys from Man U bought it, didn't they? Are you a Man U fan? Yeah, we are. Oh, that's a shame. Sadly. It's Jessie. Yeah. And the sons? Your grandchildren? No, they're Tottenham because their dad's Tottenham.

39:09Oh. Yeah. They love Tottenham. I was worried there wasn't going to be enough crumble, but now I think I've overdone it. Overcumbled the crumble. That's never a problem, is it, really? No, never. Do you want a bit of ice cream and cream? Oh, go on then, yes. Okay, fine, great. Jessie's most comforting dish is ice cream with cream on. Oh, do you ever go to the Lizard in Cornwall? No. They've got an ice cream shop called Gelbutt's, and they only do vanilla. And the other option is you can have vanilla or you can have vanilla with a scoop of clotted cream on top. Oh, wow. That is my heaven. Yeah, it's incredible.

39:48I would highly recommend it. Yeah. You must eat a lot of clotted cream. Where are you from? Is it kind of your staple every morning on your porridge? Yeah, I get it. It's basically, it's like water coming out of the taps. I try to avoid it. Not, not, no. Obviously you do. I had a cream tea on Friday. Did you? But it was my mum's birthday. God, I've given you lots. Oh, my word. So don't worry if you can't eat it. I'm not going to have to eat again today. No, this week. thank you so oh yes he has clotted cream all the time I love clotted cream it's so good but I do think I need a lactate after it yeah now listen I have to apologise my husband is really good at crumbles and we've got all these beautiful fruit trees in the garden that we were trying to like and it's all so it's from our garden what a nice garden thanks mate for London that is a great garden thank you anyway loads and loads of fruit trees my husband had made like the he's really good, so I was like, great.

40:49He left skin on some of the apple, and I'm just apologising. It's all right, it's lovely. It is lovely. Really delicious. And then there's some plums in there too. I acknowledge that's not what you do with a crumble. That's great. But like, just... But you're like my mother-in-law. Why? Can't cook for us without apologising for one thing that's wrong with every meal. And then ruins it for everyone. And you're like, can we just enjoy this without you pointing out your own failings? If we were coming over to yours, what would be always in your fridge that we would be like, okay? Milk. There's a bit more imaginative than that, fucking hell.

41:25Well, it's difficult. I try and keep a tight fridge. Really? That's what my husband wants. I don't even want you to look in my fridge. Because I think the worst job in the house is getting rid of food. It feels so, I feel such a deep guilt. You are like my husband. Yeah, so I like to keep it tight. We were talking about football. Managers that keep a small squad because they don't want the players on the outside missing out. I'd rather keep it tight. And go to the shops five times in the day. Haven't got shops near you. Yes, so about a 10-minute walk. So I'd rather do lots of small shops. Yeah.

42:05Because also I work evenings. So if I'm working evenings, I can't do that thing where you're like, on Monday we're going to have a biryani. On Tuesday we're going to have pasta. On Wednesday you're going to have so I'm existing moment to moment fridge wise. My gorgeous neighbour who I adore, she knows exactly what they're eating for the whole week. And I'm kind of envious of her because I think it's so amazing. That's insane to me though. But we are not those people. No, but do not go but I don't want to eat that today. On Sunday I thought I'd want fish pie. No, I know. But now it's Thursday, I don't want fish pie, but there's a fish.

42:43And pie. Whatever that's made out of. Pastry. And who's cleaning out the fridge? No one. To be honest. Well, I'm certainly not. I create. I imagine I do it all. You're an artist. I'm an artist. You've got an artistic temperament. Yeah. Okay, so milk. I think that's really interesting. Do many people answer that they keep a Thai fridge? I haven't had that yet. But I like it. It's inspiring. I don't want to waste stuff. Great expression. But I suppose it means I'm spending more time walking to the shops and back. Getting your steps in. I don't think I've done a big shop since Gordon Brown was the Prime Minister.

43:26Oh, my God! But I do think you used to live in Hackney. That's not a reflection on the 2008 crash. But you do, in Hackney, you did have a lot of shops right by. You had that Palm 2. No, that was Clapton. I'm Victoria Park. Where were you? Are you a Vicky Pick? Were you at Lauriston Village then? Exactly. Like, you could just pop out. You could just pop out. You could go to Village Organic. It's not what you're saying now. You're in Devon. We've got a big waitrose. Okay, fine. You're going to be okay. So am I going to go back to big shops? That's what all the talk on the street's about. Big shops.

43:59Am I going to... Do you big shop? Yeah. And do you do it online? Online. No, she does it online. My fridge would have enough to feed two dinner parties if I had to. And you're not worried about wastage? No. She freezes. I freeze a lot of stuff. Yeah, I cook and freeze. So my mother-in-law, who spends a lot of time at our house, and she, to be fair, and she is right, she was born in 1945, so she's been created by post-war, use everything. But she, our fridge, to tell you what is in it, is like two boiled potatoes in a bowl or a tiny bit of pasta sauce in a bowl. Yeah. Or she puts espressos. She has to have an espresso in the house at all times, otherwise she panics.

44:50So she'll go and buy an espresso and then that'll be in the fridge. And she'll heat it up? No, she'll just drink it straight. From the fridge? Yeah. Like an iced espresso. She just has to have caffeine available at all times. How many does she have a day? Not that many. It's more that thing of knowing it's there if she wants it. But don't you have an espresso maker? Or like a coffee maker? Yeah, we do have a coffee maker. But she just needs it. Yeah, she just needs it. She sounds wild. Like a junkie would need to have a coffee maker. So there's nothing there to eat, really. What are you going to do when your kids are teenagers?

45:26There's jars of, you know. So there is staples. There's your olives, your capers, obviously your jams, your butters. But your kids are going to... Your fruit, lots of fruit, lots of berries. Yeah, but your kids are going to be the ones that say, there's nothing to eat in the fridge, Dad. They're right. They will. And do you know what I'll say to them? I keep a tight fridge. There's nothing to throw in the bin. I keep a tight fridge. Yeah, I keep a tight fridge. I love it. I keep a tight fridge. Before we let you go, Josh... I want to ask one thing. Go on. Karaoke song, Blur or Pulp? Pulp Pulp Oh How did you know that Pulp would be Because you mentioned you liked Pulp I thought you liked Blur He does but he also said about Pulp with that irreverent So which song would it be It would get people more Which song?

46:12It wouldn't be Common People because I think that's too Oh I'm surprised Yeah I have to say Well there you go Yeah Year 3000 You're full of surprises Disco 2000 Sorry Year 3000's busted

46:28Jessie Jesse, that is a big mistake.

46:33Want to go to school for? Is that the one? I don't mind. That came out. Oh, don't worry. That's the one about how people always live underwater with gills, isn't it? Let's only eat up in the... I do fucking know the song, Josh. I'm sorry. I said year 3000, disco 2000. Love Jarvis Cocker. Yeah. He must have done this, hasn't he? No, he hasn't. And now he never will. He'd be perfect for this. Why? Well, because he's kind of... Do you think? it's a bon vivant isn't it we did have we've had no have you we believe we were the reason they got back together actually i asked him i said we've ever got back together and he said hell will freeze over yeah and i said you talk so fondly about our kid he said because he is our kid because he's younger a nostalgic taste that can transport you somewhere oh yes that's great so it would be it would be a Wham bar have you ever had a Wham bar?

47:29remind me what that Wham is is it that one that's got like so it's a pink bar and it had bits in it that were sour yes I don't remember that delicious it's very unlikely so they were great they were tempeh was it like nougat? no it was like like a refresher yeah like a what is that called? like more stringy and more see through yeah Was it named after Wham? No, it wasn't named after George Michael. No, the sprinkles were so sour. Yeah. So it would either be that or I'll tell you the other one, which would just take me back to going to the sweet shop in the summer as a child, would be those 5p ice pop Mr.

48:10Frosties. The blue one? Yeah, blue raspberry. And you'd bite the top and the side would cut your mouth. Oh, yeah. and it's just that I've not had one of them in what 35 years probably so many e-colours it kills me you should have seen our school whatsapp group about that when they offered them in the summer it kicked the fuck off Chris Van Tilken's not happy about that but the kids were of course they were chill out on the whatsapp group let people live a little someone did an ice pole pole to try and defuse it it was actually quite jokes Was it like Brexit and it didn't solve everything? You didn't?

48:52It was even more angry. Somebody wanted watermelon instead. Josh Whittacombe, it's been such a pleasure to have you. I'm so sorry I was late. I wish you'd stay longer because you're so lovely. Oh, thank you. Thanks so much for coming on. And I'm sorry it's been such a schlep, but it has been a joy. And you're welcome back any time. I think you look like a young Robert Redford. Did you get that? The camera's still running. Yes. I think absolutely. Click that up and put it on your socials. That's exactly who he reminds me of. A young Robert Redford. A young Robert Redford. Memories in the corners of my life.

49:24What was his name? What? What was his name in that thing? Hubble. Hubble. What's that? The Way We Were, Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. You need to watch it. The Cowboy one. The Cowboy one? I don't know. Butch, Cassidy and Sundance Kid. That's why I was thinking. Cowboy is a little bit. Get out of here. Here's Starmer, Adam Hills and me.

49:59Well, I love the cowboy that is Josh Whiddicombe. He's lovely, isn't he? He's so lovely and funny and was such a good sport. Yeah. And he could have been in a really bad mood. I would have been. Yeah, I know. I would. But thank you so much to Josh for coming on. I'm definitely going to go to Not My Cup of Tea. I think he's doing Hackney Empire for two nights, but I mean, he's doing 80 dates, so you'll be able to get him somewhere. Well, he's certainly My Cup of Tea. I liked him a lot. Yeah, he was great. It was really, really good fun. And thank you to all the gang today that kind of helped me think of something to do and went down to the bakery.

50:39Thank you, Jo. That's delicious. We problem solved. we showed that if we were in an escape room, we'd be able to get out, potentially. Would we? Not without a fight or two, but... That is going to be our Christmas. That was a team bonding experience. Definitely Christmas. It's going to be an escape room. Anyway, we'll see you next week.