Rob Delaney

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1:05Hello and welcome to Table Manners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm here with Lenny. And we're in New Cross. Yes, darling. I've had two 40ths within the space of two, no, three days. I'm a bit tired. Oh, then we had a birthday party. Has anyone ever been to the O2 Oxygen Extreme Trampolining? No, I haven't. Avoid it at all costs unless you need to go. It was fabulous for an eight-year-old birthday party. And do not believe the parking guy that I spoke to who told me it was only a three-minute walk from the car park. Yeah, no. At least ten minutes to get across the courtyard at my place. You hobbling along with your horse...

1:45Chocolate cake. My chocolate cake with horses on. I'm on cooking duty today. I did share that recipe with you, and I kind of regretted. I was about to acknowledge that. I was kind of regretting it because it was a good recipe. Why? Because I could have used it for someone. You showed me the Nigel Slater chicken and peach salad. It's meant to be on a really hot summer's day. It is not a hot summer's day. It's quite miserable. However, I do have the most delicious Natura peaches that I bought. That would cheer everyone up and rhyme them. Maybe, unless he's one of those people that doesn't like fruit with savoury.

2:23Well, we'll find out. And then I've done Nigella's chocolate olive oil mousse. and have you used the special olive oil i used the special rosie and james's olive oil from scopolos that we brought back um that he i don't know strained with his dear hands no he didn't he picked the olives from his land yeah and they took it up to the olivio where they press the olives and then you bring it home and this year that sounds so fun he's got it's such fun november it's going to be a bumper season because there is a he's got 100 olive trees at his new place It's really nice olive oil. So he's going to have over 100 litres of olive oil.

3:00Well, I'm very thrilled to have it in the Nigella Lawson chocolate olive oil mousse. We have a comedian, writer, activist, anglophile, American coming over. Very handsome. Very handsome. Very handsome. But very talented. Yeah, I wonder if he's got a moustache. I saw him, I don't know if it's going to sound creepy, When I was filming that Mamma Mia show, I think we flew back from Corfu at the same time. And he was very, very dashing. We've got Rob Delaney coming over. Now, Rob is an American who lives in London, who created and starred in Catastrophe, which we all loved, with Sharon Horgan. He's been in Deadpool.

3:44He's coming on to talk about his new Apple TV show that he stars in called Bad Monkey. Which I've been watching. And I've watched one episode. It's one of our favourite writers that we used to always read in the summer. Carl Hyasson. It's set in Florida. He'll be telling you more. It's dark comedy. But also it's set in the Bahamas and the Florida Keys. And it just makes me want to go there straight away. I've just put the chicken in. It's going to be one of those things where I will be in the background making a dressing and assembling. So you may have to take over for a bit, Lenny. Oh, OK. Are you willing?

4:16I'll just look at him, darling. OK. Rob Delaney coming up on Table Manners

4:31Welcome Rob Thank you To Jessie's home She's doing the voice where I know she's trying to impress you I am She's working She's doing Radio 4 voice I'm not sure You really are First of all watched about five episodes of Bad Monkey. How many episodes are there? Ten. Oh, crikey. I made me off because I wondered where you were at the beginning and now you're coming into your own. Yeah. Mustache and all. Mustache and all, yeah. And did you film it all in the Bahamas and the Keys? We filmed in Miami and the Keys. So any Bahamas that you see is somewhere in Florida. It's not Andross in the Bahamas. I'm pretty sure.

5:11I'm sure there's some aerial shots and stuff that are legitimately there, but actors... You know what? I could be wrong. They might have gone to Andros. I didn't. I filmed strictly in Miami and primarily Marathon in the Keys. It's gorgeous. Isn't it? God, I couldn't actually go on holiday and move there. It's absolutely beautiful. Did you think about a family holiday after filming Carl Hyassin? Right, so I brought my then three - or four-year-old Three. He was three. Okay. So he was with me for a little bit, and that was quite fun, because if ever we had a day off, you know, we would go to the Everglades.

5:53Did you ever see any crocodiles? We didn't see any crocodiles, but we saw, I'm sure, over 400 alligators. Oh, okay, sorry. But there are crocodiles there. They're both there. Miami's the only place in the world where they both live. So there's lots of ways to get eaten. Am I being stupid, but why are there alligators, Everglades, but not crocodiles? It's alligators that are in the Everglades. And then in Miami, there are some saltwater crocodiles. Why is that? I don't know. And I believe it's the only place in the world where they both live. But you'd have to talk to them about why they've chosen to...

6:28Did your son meet the monkey? I don't think he did. He met a lot of key deer, though. The little tiny deer that run around. Oh, the deer that run around. So that was fun. is he as fun as he seems he really genuinely is he's exactly like he is in movies and TV and stuff whereas I'm not people are like do you ever turn it off I'm like I turn it off all the time whereas Vince Vaughn if you were at a restaurant with him he would introduce himself to the people at the next tables when he talks to you he asks you a thousand questions he would know stuff about you that you had forgotten and so he's a pretty fascinating guy Mum used to always bring a Carl Hyasson.

7:09Is that how you say it? Yeah. Or is it Hyasson? I don't know. Carl Hyasson. We'd always have one in the summer that we'd go through as a family. Did you read any, Carl, before? I'm ashamed to admit, but I want to pursue the policy of truth here. I've only read Bad Monkey. I must read more. How silly of me. But they're usually set in Miami. I know. Yeah, it's usually, it's not the same shit that happens, but it's usually very funny in Florida. and dark comedy and someone's going to lose something. They're great. They are great. It kind of feels like, I don't know whether they've made any more telly of Carl Hiaasen books, but it feels like a no-brainer that now that you'll be able to just keep going, like Agatha Christie, sure.

7:51Let's go Carl Hiaasen. I think maybe now that they've cracked it because Bill Arndt did such a good job because he wasn't just like, let me take this IP and turn it into something. He's from Florida too. He loves Carl Hiaasen. And for him, it was a real labor of love to turn a great book into a great TV show. So he worked very hard on it for a long time. Where do you live now? You live in London. I do, yeah. I live in London. Yeah, I've been here 10 years. I'm literally British now. Are you here because of the food? Absolutely not. No. Although I like the food. It's not bad. Oh, no, no. There's great food.

8:25Where are you from? I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts. It's good food. It's fine. It's fine, you know. Good chowder. Yeah. But yeah, moved here 10 years ago for the show Catastrophe. Which we love. Thank you. We love, yeah. I actually went up to Sharon Horgan once at an awards thing, and I said, I just want to, I don't know why this came out, but you know when you're like, you shoot your shot, it's like you've seen her, and I don't know why. I think I was nervous. I hate award shows anyway. I just want to thank you for making me feel like it's okay to not have sex with my husband. And she went, okay, cool, nice to meet you.

8:57You know, that's the shit that came out. Why did that come out, darling? I think they were having a hard time in the show at that time. That's so funny. I feel like everyone's had those catastrophe moments when they've had children. That episode where she's trying to make friends with somebody and being really keen. And it's so cringe. And I've been that person in like a baby music class. That is brilliant. It's amazing. That was a fun episode. How did you and Sharon meet each other? We met on Twitter.com years ago. So I had seen her show Pulling, which I was crazy about. So I noticed that she followed me on Twitter and I was like, I love your show.

9:29You slid in. Yeah, and she had seen some of my stand-up. And so we became friends. And when either of us were in London or L.A., respectively, we would visit each other and became friendly. And then we thought, hey, why don't we ride a pilot together? And the rest is history. And the rest now is history since it was 10 years ago, almost. Can I ask, in Boston, who was around the dinner table when you were growing up? And what was a memorable dish from your childhood? My dad made a great meatloaf. my mom but he i don't know why that came to mind first i think he chopped up apples and put it in it so it stayed nice and moist my mom was a very good like like her plates like definitely always ticked all the food pyramid boxes you know what i mean they'd be like a nice piece of fish some nice vegetables some nice rice pilaf so there was no nobody in my house was like a passionate cook but they definitely dependably, nutritiously fed you.

10:30Did they work? Yeah, yeah, they both worked. They were insurance agents. They owned a small insurance agency together. They got divorced when I was 14, so the bulk of my childhood, they were together, and we were eating dinner together every night. And then I guess once I got to high school, then it was a little different, but still tasty dishes and family mealtime, thank goodness has remained a priority for my wife and i we make sure to always eat dinner with the kids and one wonderful thing about us is we don't if like the kids are like we don't like this we're like all right starve we don't make them other stuff you know like oh somebody gets his chicken binkies you know like we don't do that we're like oh go to bed hungry we don't care yeah which is but it's that's love but you don't do you don't do the banana late or the bowl of cereal later I do do the banana I think you're really mean I am mean yeah I think that's mean Well because I love them Well you're a fool mum Because you literally Why Mrs Wobble the waitress And doing what do you want This is like yeah I'll do anything Well also Jessie Is she nicer to your kids Than she was to you You know what I mean Because like no I was a soft touch with you as well I mean there was a lot of shouting There Rob If we're going to talk about it There was a lot of shouting Yeah You think that's traumatised you Yeah I do Because I know like my mum You know, if I was like, I didn't eat enough, can I actually be like, oh, too bad.

11:51But with my kids, she's like, yeah, sure, have a Secker's bar. Do you want me to spoon feed you? She's like, oh, come upstairs, I've got Percy Pigs in the bedroom. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like mum's got a stash. Oh, you can't go to bed without a full, swollen belly. You can't go to bed not sweating because you've eaten too much. Yeah, you completely, and you always undermine me as well. If we're going to talk about this now, like you undermine me. But that's what my mother's supposed to do. No, but you go, oh, go on. She's been such a good girl. Go on. Just let her have a cake. Of course. Yeah, I know.

12:24Why not? She's perfect. I can't wait to have grandkids. I swear to God. Like, if one of my kids, I mean, obviously, if you're listening, kids, don't do this. But if one of my kids is like, I got my girlfriend pregnant. And then we'd have to, like, fake being upset. We'd be like, oh, oh, gosh. You know, but totally we'd be like, give me the baby. Give me it. Oh, my goodness. Oh my God, I love, I just love babies. Yeah. Yeah. Do you think you'll be lenient when... With grandkids? Yeah. I'll try not to be. You know, I kind of like observe my parents and my wife's parents and like, okay, yeah, I'll do that when I'm a grandparent.

13:01Not going to do that. Yes, do this, do that. Okay, what are you going to do? One thing that you are going to do that you've observed and one thing that you're not going to do. Well, get in there. Get on those kids. Get those kids on your lap. Touch them. Get in their faces. Make eye contact. You know what I mean? Be super... Don't be unignorable. as their grandparent because they love that they love to have you get right in their face and play with you and they know they can just tell that you're related to them and that you share blood and that you know just so definitely sit on them make them sit on you got it tickle them okay stuff i heard tickling's not really supposed to be a loud thing now i tickle mine yeah it's too fun yeah i mean we'll be tickling each other i'm sure by the end of this it's yeah tickling's fine i just yeah stop me arrest me for tickling this is gonna sound a bit stalkery great um i think i saw you in a corfu airport last year oh wow would that have been right yeah we did go to corfu last year funny thing about corfu is um many years ago my wife and i went to hawaii and i was it was like heaven on earth and i was like this is just too nice i can't handle it it was kawaii the like rainforest island rainbows and beautiful sea turtles and waterfalls and can't and i was like it's too nice i can't relax because you are like a brit yeah and then i went to corfu and it was like it's not as like majestic as hawaii and i was like this is it perfect like this is just perfect because like the rocks are old you know the trees are like kind of gnarly people can be rude and say how they like and that's but like you just every day I just have two gigantic salads with, you know, tomatoes and feta and everything and then swim in the ocean.

14:43There's nowhere like Greece. Do you go every year to Greece or Corfu? Not every year, but Corfu. I mean, and then you think it's less than three hours. Did you eat well in Miami? Because I hear the food scene's incredible there. Are you a foodie? Am I a foodie? I would say probably no. like I don't do like destination food seek out things and stuff, but I love good food, but I also love garbage. Um, so I eat it all. Like I love fruits and vegetables. I love to eat healthy and I also love to eat just, just scrape the bin. So yeah. And also I did an interesting thing out of vanity about a year ago.

15:27I had, you know, my weight would bounce back and forth and i was always like i should weigh less i have weighed less i could weigh less you know whatever so i stopped eating flour and sugar don't worry if there's flour sugar today i'll eat it all but uh i did that and that's been really interesting and i also did a huge thing i stopped eating second and third dinners because late night eating that was my enemy incredibly tall there's a lot to fill but i figured you know like i'm pushing 50 i like my children. I like my wife. I'd like to be around. Maybe if I could dial down the guarantee of some sort of cardiac event, why not?

16:09Anyway, so in Miami, though, we filmed this two years ago, so I was just eating constant, incredible seafood. One time I went fishing in the Gulf of Mexico off of Marathon, and the guy who took me fishing was like, if you're not getting a bite every 40 seconds, something's wrong. And it was true. Caught so much snapper. Wow. And then also key lime pie is all over the place. So I had key lime pie at every possible opportunity. It would be rude not to. Yeah, so that was great. But Bad Monkey, when I watched it, because he's a food inspector, it kind of put me, I felt a bit sick. Yeah. Because he's inspecting some of the restaurants.

16:50Totally. And he's gone off food. So he stops eating for a while because everywhere he goes, he sees what's going on behind the scenes. Yeah, wouldn't that be a terrible job to have, food inspector? It was awful. It was funny, but then when some guy was eating the shrimp and he was saying, that's probably rats have peed on that or something. You know what? I actually got poisoned by oysters last year. And it was honestly, it was awful for a few days, but now there's a relief because now I don't have to eat oysters ever again. Aren't you laughing? Because I'm never craving oysters. It's always a thing you do.

17:31Why did you eat them? The experience is fun. For that reason. Because I don't not like them, but also I don't need them. But now I never ever have to even deal with them again. Because now I know that they can poison me. It was kind of fun, actually. Because in addition to horrific nausea, there was also cramping from the poison. So I would seize up. Oh, my God. So that was neat. Sounds horrendous. Did you end up in hospital? I didn't. I once ended up in hospital with food poisoning from a 30th birthday party, uncooked kidney beans in a big vat of chili. Unless you cook kidney beans really thoroughly, there's a poison in them.

18:12Very interesting. There were 20 people that were ill, including the man. But I ended up in hospital, and I'd only been married two months to your dad. I felt slightly embarrassed. I'd never been sick in front of him before. And I had to stop the car and vomit. why would I have been sick? I don't know, this feels very on Chazil Beach doesn't it? You're just getting to know each other I mean they had to inject me I couldn't move I've got a better foodborne illness story this one's great I won't go into graphic detail I'll let you use your imagination but I got hepatitis A 20, 19 years ago? No, 14 years ago well, this was the most amazing part is I got hepatitis and the way that my wife noticed something that was wrong she's like um honey your eyes are yellow and uh oh so is your skin and i was like well that's strange color for me to be and uh so went to the hospital they were like how long ago was this this would be 14 years ago so you go to the doctor right when they find out you have hepatitis they don't be like well here's what you do the first thing they do is they call the government and we've got hepatitis public health so yeah so So then noticed a few other people at my work had it.

19:26Still, they're trying to figure out what it was. And so they interview you, health and safety people, and they're really good at it. They're like FBI profilers. So if I asked you like, hey, what did you have for breakfast last Tuesday? If you asked me, I'd be like, I have no idea. They can put you in the mind space. Like they ask you different questions, similar ways. Many times they do face to face for a while. Then they call you on the phone and they just like get inside of you. By the end, you can rattle off what you ate and where and who you were with. Wow. Anyway, they narrowed it down. There was a cake shop, a really nice one in Santa Monica, California, that had strawberries on this one cake, and the water that they had been irrigated with had been contaminated.

20:08So a bunch of people got hepatitis. That is shocking. I know. It was wild. And hepatitis is a fascinating illness because your liver kind of takes a break. So what did you have to do to treat it? Hang out. It just takes a while to go away. It's months, isn't it? I was sick for about three weeks. Three weeks. But hepatitis A you get rid of. B and C can kill you. A is sort of a Cadillac or jaguar. Do you have to put that down if you've ever had it? No, because once it's gone. So I can give blood. And could you have given it to your family? Yes. My wife was pregnant with our first child at that time, so it was really scary.

20:51We were very worried. If you kissed her, she might have caught it. Well, we don't kiss, so we were safe with that. But no, she had to get a shot to give her immunity. That's frightening. And so a bunch of the loved ones of the people who got sick. And some of us, I was not, but some people were hospitalized. Yeah, it was heavy duty. Would you ever live back in Los Angeles? I don't know what would bring me there, you know. My kids are ultra plugged in here. Are they British children, really? Well, yeah, the older two have totally grown up here. The youngest one was born here. So they don't want to leave.

21:27And now they're old enough where we have to factor in how they feel and what they care about. Lately, I've been lamenting that my career didn't take me to New York, which is halfway between North Carolina and Boston, where my wife and my family are. But it didn't. So we're here, and I don't know what could take us away from here. What big movie rules? I do my best to do most of the stuff that I film here. Anything I write is always like exterior, North London, very close to my house. You know what I mean? So I do that. I say no to stuff that shoots far away sometimes. I didn't to Bad Monkey, but I really try to stick around.

22:07And that's not impossible because a lot of great stuff shoots here. I mean, I just did Deadpool and Wolverine. That filmed here, you know, and more and more big stuff is filming here, which is so awesome. So you love London? Mostly. Or not? Mostly. Tell me what you love about it. People. We've made wonderful friends. Love the NHS. Even in its underfunded state, it is better to fall down and break your leg here than it is in America. Because all you have to worry about is whatever injury or illness you have. Not, you know, am I going to be able to afford it? Am I going to go broke, you know, trying to pay for it?

22:43Because even if you have private health insurance in America, it doesn't cover it all. So people go into medical debt. People commit suicide from medical debt in America. So that's horrific. So the NHS, even as it is now, is amazing, especially having a family, you know, and boys. I mean, we're at the A &E all the time. How many broken limbs have you had? Broken limbs? Like with boys. I'm just preparing for this. Yeah, I mean, cuts, burns, breaks, but not too many big, bad ones yet. Okay, breaks, though. Okay. So there's that. And then there's no guns here. that's incredible you know yeah because there sure are guns in america and so those are two things like we've had occasion in my family to lean on the nhs quite a bit and it's been wonderful for us and then also there was a shooting near where my son was in nursery when we lived in california so that's not just stuff that's on tv like a couple people were killed about 50 feet from where he was in a cot.

23:44So that's terrible. There's plenty that's terrible about the UK, to be sure. But those are two big ones that mean a lot. Yeah, I think the NHS can be wonderful for all the things you say. And I know that they treated your son, and you felt that they did their very best. They were incredible. Was that Great Ormond Street? Yeah, it was. my son, Henry, if anybody is watching this who doesn't know, I have a son who died of a brain tumor when he was two. That was in 2018. And he lived for seven months at Great Ormond Street Hospital, and then for seven months at the Whittington Hospital in North London.

24:29And both of those places just were just magnificent. And yeah, the care that we received there, the nurses and the doctors and everything was just incredible so yeah very very dear to my heart the nhs yeah also coming here well into adulthood after you know decades of having american health care and then you know being like what it can be like this is just sadly most people don't know how good they've got it here because it's easy to complain you know you're not going to the doctor to kill time or for fun you're going because i'm a pancreas or whatever but it's amazing rob can i ask you you say that you know what your kids get is what they get yeah are you and your wife good cooks my wife is a very good cook no i'm not a very good cook i'm a serviceable cook like you would sit down and be like i recognize what this is see what he was going for it's not disgusting i have eaten the meal you'd finish it and be like i did in fact i did just eat is what you would say yes yeah totally what's your strong point you know what i have loved doing lately is making uh chicken noodle soup from scratch that's really fun and it's surprisingly easy chicken noodle soup from scratch so my kids like what i cook because i cook like simple stuff like that or like chili you know what i mean like you can make chili yeah in fact i usually make vegetarian chili sometimes i'll make it with what do you corn or do you use that i'll use corn sometimes.

25:57Or that what is it? Vivera or something. If I make vegetarian chili I don't typically put a fake meat in it. I'll have beans in it for protein. But yeah I make basic. Children think my cooking is quite good. Adults are like that's fine. Like an adult would be like eh. You know. I bet it would be very endearing like on an early date. Like early in a relationship. You'd be like oh my god he tried. He tried. Okay. So tell me Hold on, I'm now ready Thank God for that You know it's like a bit faffy Because it's Nigel Slater Oh my God, that's gorgeous I haven't done this recipe before But I believe in Nigel Slater And it smells kind of good It's like chicken and peach salad With mint and basil And a kind of warm dressing Please help yourself, Rob May I take a picture of it?

26:49Oh, you're a person that takes photos of the food Not typically, but I want to show this to my wife and want to even try to do a bad job of it at my own house. It's on the Guardian app. I'll send it to you. Okay, thank you. But yeah, dig in and... Oh Lord, look at that.

27:10We are thrilled to announce that we are doing a very special live recording of Table Manners for Choose Love, the charity. It's going to be at the Union Chapel in Islington on December 2nd. we've got such special guests I wish we could tell you who they are but you're going to be so excited what a way to kick off the festive period by giving some money to a wonderful charity but also joining Lenny and I and some fabulous guests for a big old hoo-ha at Union Chapel in London get your tickets they're on sale now go to the Choose Love Instagram or to Table Manners Instagram the link is in our bio the market's uncertain revenue's tight and hiring on hold.

27:54That's why results-driven companies are using Upwork to keep work moving. Go to Upwork.com today and start hiring proven freelance talent fast. No bulky overhead. No rigid long-term contracts. Just the right expert right when you need them. Work smarter and faster with Upwork. Go to Upwork.com now and find your freelance expert. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com. Post a job for free and get started today. If you're a smoker or vapor ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason. But with Zinn Nicotine Pouches, you'll discover many good reasons. Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand.

28:32Plus, Zinn offers a robust rewards program. There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction. But there's only one Zinn. Check out Zinn.com slash find to find Zinn at a store near you. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

28:56What does your wife cook that's your favorite thing that she cooks? Oh, that's a good question. She makes incredible salads, and that's really a skill, you know. So you're a salad person. I love salads. God, we did all right then. Fine. Great. Perfect. Did do well, darling. So good. Is that chili? Oh, thank you. But it's very mild chili. Please have more. And then I've got a pud. I know that you are on the sugar. It's less sugar. It's a chocolate mousse. And you don't have to have... Okay, fine. Okay, great. Okay, good. Thank you. No. So, do you want to hear the story? Yeah. About why I changed the way that I eat?

29:33Yes. So there was a big strike between SAG and the Writers Guild. Yeah. Which shut down Deadpool and Wolverine. Yeah. And everything being made in the world. when we returned they could legally edit what they had shot so we had the rare opportunity to have about an hour of a big hollywood film totally done and then they could kind of adapt and take it in and make changes if they wanted to so they had a rare and really special opportunity to do that anyway so i saw a shirtless scene of mine um a little yeah about a year ago uh that had been shot some months before and when i saw it i was like okay so that's gonna be on screens in china uh argentina um and people are gonna associate uh that body with me because it's attached to my face it's very visibly me and i was like gorgeous i weighed quite a bit more at the time so i'm not gonna say it wasn't gorgeous that may be you know your thing but uh for me i was like that is he's a larger fellow than i would like to personally be um so i was like okay but there's still about six months until the movie comes out i can lose weight in that time theoretically god knows how it'll be done and then when the movie comes out i can be like yeah it was an acting choice i just thought he should be my dedication to my craft and so here's what i did I knew I would never count calories.

30:59I was never going to send away and have my meals come to the house in a packet. I was never not going to sit down with my family. So I was like, you know, hey, I've heard that if you cut out flour and sugar, that that can lead to losing weight. So I did that. I cut out flour and sugar. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible. The very difficult thing that I did was stopping eating after dinner. Because, like, you know, you have dinner. Great. but what do you do when 9.30 rolls around? You have to have, at that point, a couple bowls of children's cereal. And then at 11.15, you want to tuck yourself in with about three quarters of a thing of Ben & Jerry's, right?

31:37How are you going to sleep? What flavor was your past? I hate to say it because I don't like the way they corporate brand with stuff, but the flavor Netflix and chilled is so good. It's so good. There's a lot of peanut butter in it. It's just pornographic. yeah and um so that was hard at first but taking away flour and sugar and second and third dinners no bread so like no version of bread like would you have like did you find like a seedy something substitute i could but it's easier and i'm not like for example this amazing nutritious rich for look at the number of things that are on this plate is high colorful beautiful flavorful like this totally meets my thing you know okay but anyway doing all that made losing weight kind of easy you know what fuck you though rob because like i swear it's fucking you go i think i'm gonna lose weight i'm gonna i'm not saying sugar and flour i swear if i took out sugar and flour it'd be like i'd just get bigger i'd be like why oh well it's because it's so annoying men just can lose weight and it's true okay but i'm thrilled for you first of all i accept that i take it in yes fuck me of course i agree completely here's the thing what it took because there's no sure thing in this world but deadpool 3 is kind of a sure thing and i knew that marvel's marketing ryan reynolds marketing they weren't people weren't going to have a choice as to whether they saw it or not so the idea that a beautiful woman in mongolia or or saskatchewan was going to see this movie which they are and did and then it would cut from hugh jackman being like and then cut to me and have an awful audience knowing that that was going to happen around the world is what it took because for me i used to be like the only thing that could make me lose weight would be a man with a bloody hammer standing next to me going, if you eat that, this hammer will get bloodier with your blood.

33:52So it was essentially you being in competition with Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. And that's what I need to find. I need to find my version of Hugh Jackman and Ryan. It took a negative thing. Now, all of this is stupid and vanity. No. Until after having lost a bunch of weight and not having flour and sugar regularly coursing through my veins, a crazy thing happened, which is my immune system got like turbocharged. So a side effect to my vanity was that I get sick so much less, so much milder. And that's like weird. It's like spooky how different it is. So apparently flour and sugar, you don't need to be shoveling them into your body like I had been.

34:38Did your wife do it as well? No, my wife, you know how you said fuck you to me? my wife is a triathlete my wife we did a duathlon a week and a half ago which is a bunch of swimming and running uh she beat me by 12 minutes i think right like i'm at running for 12 minutes you've ran pretty far right that's how much she beat me in the thing we did a half marathon once she beat me by over half an hour she just naturally prefers to eat healthy she's not even in the business she's It just makes me happy to just do this stuff. And yeah, she's quite something. I hear that you, maybe that what helps with your immune system as well, you're a cold water swimmer, I hear.

35:22There's a gang of you that go to a pond. I do do that. Why do you do this? So I started swimming in the summer. If you'd said, one day you'll swim in the cold water, I'd be like, you're mistaken. Cold water is cold. But found this beautiful body of water, started swimming in the warmer weather, and then as the temperature went down, it just kept going. And so that made it easier. And frankly, the group of people that I swim with is just magnificent. I mean, some truly wonderful people. So there's a social aspect where I've met some great people. How much can you talk when your teeth are chattering?

35:55It has to be pretty horrifically cold to not really be able to talk. Because often we'll talk to just distract ourselves, you know. But the fact is, is now swimming in the cold water gives you a buzz. And like I'm sober. I've been sober for 22 years, and I got sober because I liked to get loaded. And so now I can by swimming in cold water, and nobody gets hurt. You're buzzing when you get out. It's a very special feeling. So I get it. I don't know how you, I would never say like, oh, you've got to try this. I would say, if you enjoy swimming in the summer, just don't stop. Do you do cold showers every morning then?

36:34I do. I took a cold bath this morning. Why? Well, it's like an additional cup of coffee. It just gets me going. I don't know. It makes me happy. How long did you stay in your bar for? Not just long enough to shampoo and condition. Wow. God almighty. There is good gloss on your hair. Maybe that's from the cold water. Jonathan Van Ness said to do a cold rinse at the end. So maybe you're onto something. Do your children swim? Yes, they love the water. They're not old enough to swim in any of London's... I think the only place they'd be allowed would be like Parliament Hill Lido. But yeah, they swim.

37:10They'll get in cold water. Yeah, they're great. And your wife, does she swim? She's a swimaholic. She was... A cold water swimaholic. Oh my goodness. How did you two meet? We met at a camp for people with disabilities. We were camp counselors 20 years ago. Sweet. Yeah, at a camp in Massachusetts where I grew up. And we were both counselors taking care of people with cerebral palsy and helping them surf and swim and all this stuff. So did you see her and you just thought, that's the girl that I need to be with? Or was it a summer of love? Well, it was such a great way to meet somebody because you kind of have to have some altruistic tendencies to be there because you're working for free, you know, volunteering.

37:51Oh, you don't get paid? No, you don't get paid. And then also it's the summer, so she was in a bikini often. So I can tell she's a good person and I can tell that I like what I see. And she's gorgeous. so yeah I very quickly fell irretrievably in love with her and thank god she felt some version of the same way yeah we've been together for 20 years is there a song from that summer that can bring you back to that camp yeah there are a few I would say probably the song of us meeting is a song called hey by the pixies okay that's cool yeah because it was 20 years ago so I had like one of the earlier iPods.

38:28So it's not like today where you've got, you know, streaming and you're like, what do you want to listen? What anything do you want to listen to? Do you want to listen to that Italian version of Let It Be played by the Brazilian guy on a marimba? Like you just had like 12 songs. And so we had our, you know, 12 or so songs. Had you finished university? Had you gone to university? Yes, I was 27 when we met and she was 24. So I just took a leave of absence for my job because I heard about this volunteer opportunity because a friend of mine had worked there. And she was in the process of moving from Mississippi to Washington, D.C., from one teaching job to another because she's a teacher.

39:06So we just kind of were there totally by chance. Were you acting by then? No. At that point, I am working in internet advertising. I have a day job that I loathe and I'm very bad at, thinking like, I want to be doing more comedy. In fact, we spoke about American health insurance earlier I had to get a day job That provided health insurance As a benefit So like a lot of Americans, I was kind of shackled to a job That I did not like But then after a couple years of marriage I had the courage to be like I'm gonna do it Did you try and be really funny at the beginning of your relationship? Definitely I mean, you are funny, obviously But like, this is what's gonna get the girl Or were you like No, I'm a stud like that's gonna work i was trying to i think i i think i was employing humor as one of the tools to try to ensnare her and so she she's super super funny you know she is not a professional comedian but she could be she's she makes me laugh very hard all the time and plus we all know somebody who makes us laugh harder than you know a famous comedian you know be like oh my friend Dave is insane, you know, or Lucy.

40:18Yeah. She's like that. She's so funny and makes me laugh all the time. She sounds amazing. She does. Do you think you could ever write anything with your wife? You could. Do you know what? I'll be honest. I have a little, I'm a little scared of that. Now she's super funny. So could she write something amazing on her own? Yes. Have I written stuff that has been well received? Yes. My parents did that and then they got divorced. So obviously there are people who work together all the time and are happy so I know that that's possible but uh I have a slight phobia of that and then also it is kind of nice to separate church and state you know what I mean so I don't know I we should try it though for sure we should and just even for fun can we ask you what your last supper would be before you're going off to a desert island starter main pud drink of choice oh wow I mean there was a thing for a few anniversaries early in our marriage my wife and I would go to Mastro's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills, California and it is classic Hollywood.

41:23You know there's like a piano bar. You can make requests from the guy. How gorgeous. We would always get their ribeye which was outrageous. For sure the best cut of meat I've ever had. So I would start with something like a simple greek or caesar salad and without any meat on it typically because i want to see how you do it maybe we can add maybe we can introduce meat later on subsequent visits but let's see what how you're doing with the basics first with the anchovy in the dress yeah okay that would be a candidate there's also a pizza place in boston called regina's and their pizza's outrageous that would be a candidate what would be your um topping or are you a purist on that would you just No, in fact, if it were Regina's, I'd get the whole kitchen sink on it.

42:09I would get pepperoni, sausage, tomatoes, onions, peppers. And then for dessert, I mean, probably a key lime pie, which we mentioned earlier. That's just a good key lime pie because it's cold, you know. And limey. Was the best key lime pie you had in Florida? Definitely, for sure. Is it everywhere on every menu? Yeah. Okay. And it's usually amazing. And do they differ? Yeah. Really? Yeah. And drink of choice? All I drink these days is water, sparkling water, and coffee, black coffee. So you just have straight black coffee? Espresso or...? Usually I have an Americano. And then I drink hot coffee in the morning, and then iced coffee in the afternoon.

42:55Because I'm forcing you, I just grated an extra bit of chocolate on the top just because it's completely... So exciting. And I know what you're going to say. I didn't clean... I gave him the cleanest... Okay, good. I think it looks fab, darling. This is made with olive oil, and the olive oil comes from Skopalos. Amazing. Oh, here's a foodie thing we do. We have a Greek neighbor who, her dad makes olive oil in Greece. So she takes orders every year, and everybody gets a big, I don't know what you call it, small barrel. Yeah. That's big, of olive oil. And I remember the first time she asked if I wanted to join the olive oil club.

43:34I said yes to be polite. I am British now. But I was like, what the hell am I going to do? Anyway, having unlimited great olive oil has been such an improvement to our life. Because before that, we'd be like, oh, I don't know if I have enough left. Or I don't want to have to go out, so I'll just use a little. And now I'm just bathing in it. Huge improvement in my life. I want to be part of an olive oil club. Greek olive oil is amazing. It's very light. It's not a strong flavor, I think. You have children and you are in Marvel, like Deadpool, right? Yeah. When is the right time to introduce Marvel or Deadpool?

44:13Because I must be one of the only people that hasn't because I've been holding it back to watch it with my kids, which is probably quite stupid because I could just watch the film twice. But have your kids seen it? My older two have seen Deadpool. Now, I don't think an 11 and 13 year old necessarily should. See, Deadpool and Wolverine? Because people explode in it. And they say the C word and stuff like that. So 11s and 13s. The C word? I thought Americans didn't use that word. Yeah. Well, maybe because they filmed it here and Ryan's Canadian. Yeah, right. Or Hugh Jackman, as an Australian, probably insisted they use it or he wouldn't do the film.

44:51Okay, fine. Why do they use it? It's a great word. I hate it. It's my worst word. How do you feel about the word? I quite like it because it's just so percussive. Yes. And it's like, you know, you're like getting something out. So it helped. I find it helpful and soothing. The thing is, my kids kind of had to see it because I knew their peers would. And so I needed them to know why their friends were making fun of them, you know, about their dad. What's your character in it then? I play a guy named Peter who is a human friend of Deadpool's. So he's one of the few people prominently featured in the film who does not have any superpowers.

45:30Were you a bit gutted about that? No, I love not having – because that makes you special in the world of Marvel. Yes, very not fair. So I came into the movies in Deadpool 2 when Deadpool, played by Ryan Reynolds, was forming a team called the X-Force. And he just admired my character's chutzpah when I showed up and was like, yeah, I don't have any powers. I just thought it would be fun. He's like, great, come on in. And so then they brought my character back for this one. So incredible, incredible fun. Is he a lovely man? He really genuinely is. He's a kind Canadian guy and funny and fun and so hardworking.

46:09So a really wonderful sort of heart and engine to the whole thing. Yeah. And loves soccer. He does. Have you been there? I haven't. I should go. Do you like football? Yeah. Are you proper British now? I mean, here's the thing. I moved here too old. This is how I feel about when I go to a football match. I look down on the pitch and I go like, everybody having fun? Great. Like I care about the Boston Red Sox baseball team. Yeah. You know, and like try explaining that sport to somebody, you know, over 30. That sport's crazy. But since I grew up with it, this is what I know. And so, yeah, I'm probably more involved.

46:45What's about your children though? They miss. They're football madmen. Are you Arsenal? Yeah. Of course they are. Of course you are. Yeah. Are you writing anything at the moment? yes will we be able to see it soon i hope so i have one show i'm about to try and sell that i've just finished writing with a partner and then i have another one there's a network that has said we like this pilot you've written so i'm writing that actively right now will they be london base hell yeah i would never do anything else great will you star in them yeah anything i write i put myself in because you need the like juice people don't care if you write or direct something in the real world at people everybody believes that actors make it up as they go and they don't know what a director or writer is so since i'm not famous enough to not i like have to put myself in it so that i get more juice so that one day i can write something and not have to be in it so i always put myself is that the ambition to not necessarily have the option i guess i would to not have to be in it, you know, but as it stands now, sadly I have to act in my own stuff.

47:48We're okay with that. Before we let you go. Oh, I've got to ask two more questions. Yeah, okay, go on, you go first. Which is your favourite restaurant in London? What sort of food do you like to eat? I know you like Caesar salad and steak. A restaurant that I like a lot, that I will sometimes eat lunch out with my wife, is called Cod on Upper Street. And what I like about it is it's on the same street as Otto Lange, but it's cheaper and and less crowded. And so there's like no pretension. Not that Otto Lang is pretentious, just the people who eat there are. I mean, it's great that he exists and does that.

48:22But when you go in there and look at the clientele, you're like, no thanks. So you go down to Cod, costs less money, absolutely just as good. And so you'll just have big bowls of beautiful meat and vegetables, very lovingly prepared. And you can take a few and sit down and eat it. Oh, that sounds great. Yeah, so that's my type of thing. Something that's like really nutritious, but also lovingly prepared. Yeah, I like that a lot. And if we were coming over to you, you'd be making us chicken noodle soup? Very likely. Do you have dinner parties? Yeah. We had some friends over a couple nights ago.

48:53We were going to make pizza in our little pizza oven in the back garden. But the hose from the tank to the thing broke, so we couldn't. So my wife just whipped together an amazing salad. And my 11-year-old son loves to make fried chicken. So he made some fried chicken. Oh, wow. How does he do it? How does he do it? He grinds, he does breadcrumbs and cornflakes. Oh, yeah. Smashes it up. Uses a little Bojangles spice. That's from a, that's a North Carolina fried chicken restaurant chain that we go to when we're there. So, yeah. So wound up having a lovely meal, despite the fact that our pizza oven didn't work.

49:32Great. Can I ask you, before we let you go, what is a nostalgic taste that can transport you back somewhere, happy or sad? I would say a grapefruit, like sliced in half and eaten, or some blueberries. Those are like snacks my mom would give me when I was a kid, and they make me very happy. So those are quite... Grapefruit? Yeah. That's sophisticated for a child. It is a little weird. My kids like it too, though. Yeah, but I loved it. Was it a pink one or a ruby? Usually, not always. I like them both. Would she sprinkle sugar on it as well? She wouldn't. I only found out about that later in life.

50:10so now I find that's too decadent I mean come on Rob thank you so much for coming on it's really lovely to meet you great to meet you, thank you so much for having me can't wait to watch the rest of Bad Monkey but also just want to see more of your stuff aww thank you because honestly you are brilliant oh you guys are thank you so yeah thank you so much for being here my sincere pleasure, thank you

50:50Rob Delaney, potentially one of the most dishy men I've ever had lunch with. And he's shockingly handsome. Like, leading man handsome. Definitely. The salad was a crowd pleaser. Fabulous. Thank you, Nigel Slater. Gorgeous. that was really good he liked salads as well that's his favorite thing honestly that was struck gold struck gold and he ate all the chocolate mousse because he had that was also delicious and nigella and the olive oil from scoplos you see we bought scoplos into you know what i can i couldn't taste the olive oil in it though of course you can't no but sometimes i quite maybe i would have liked no maybe i should have drizzled a bit on the top anyway um thank Thank you to Rob Delaney for coming on Bad Monkeys out now on Apple TV.

51:38And it's fabulous. It's really fun. It's dark. It's twisted. It's punchy. So go and watch it. And whilst you're at it, I mean, you could just go onto Amazon or 4 On Demand and go and watch Catastrophe again. Yeah. Wonderful. I think I'm just going to do the Deadpools now, just so I can watch Rob Delaney. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week.

52:23We'll be right back.

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