Rob Rinder and Rylan

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1:06Hello and welcome to Table Matters. I'm Jessie Ware and we're trying to do the quickest intro ever because we have our two guests outside. And they're being kept on the doorstep, Jessie, and we're so excited to have them. And we have such a feast. I mean, we're going to be here till... It's going to be an all-nighter. Yeah, it's going to be an all-nighter. We have Rylan and Rob Rinder coming over to talk about their new television programme, which is on BBC Two. It's called The Grand Tour, Rob and Rylan, and it's so fabulous. I would actually say this is podcast gold. We're both on the food duties today.

1:39Yeah. You've done maybe more than me. Definitely more than me. Possibly. Rob really wanted Jewish food. Yeah. He wanted to try your chopped herring. I don't think I've ever tried your chopped herring. It's delicious. So you've made chopped herring, chicken soup. With nuts, of course. And then I have made Alison Roman's slow roasted lamb. I started it last night. it is very easy you basically bung everything in a massive casserole thingy with a lid and leave it for 12 hours it's a lamb shoulder in the oven in the oven okay on low i woke up that would be all right with your oven because it's always i woke up at two in the morning to the smells of like roast lamb i suddenly got the fear that like i was going to burn the house down and thank god i came down because the lid was skew-iff because the shoulder was so i was like thank god because it would have all evaporated i then dreamt about lamb i couldn't get back to sleep till four so listen guys i don't suggest you do it overnight because it's quite stressful cooking overnight it is the easiest dish it smelled amazing sam woke up at five to the smell of a roast and he thought he was ready we were like dogs last night i'm sure because you wake up to meat and i was like i don't think that's a good thing really it smelled delicious but i have lost many hours of sleep uh thinking about it so i can't wait to try it and then i'm serving that with a green goddess salad which is just herby salad um dressing with yogurt and mayo and dijon and just dill chives tarragon uh i've put some parsley in there it's delicious and then i'm going to do we've made labner we've both made labners yeah and then with charbrooke courgettes pistachio pine nuts and some lemon zest the labner probably needs to go on a little plate okay fine what have you made for pud well i've tried i've made a coffee ice cream cake which is layers of sponge fingers dipped in Kahlua and coffee then caramel ice cream and chocolate then It's not very sickly coffee.

3:45So I won't sleep tonight either. No, you won't because you'll be up all night on coffee. And I'm going to drizzle it. Have you got any cocoa? No, probably not. I'm going to have to drizzle it in caramel, which I've bought with me. I do have cocoa. Okay, well I've bought caramel with me for a drizzle. I'm very excited about having these two. I see that they like drinking a bit of wine, so we've got a few on option. I feel like I've got a Greek wine because I felt with the lamb. Okay. have we talked about our bread making course we went on a bread making course we had the loveliest morning I haven't made a loaf since I have to say but I do still have the delicious date butter and the green goddess dressing was inspired by darling Grace and Megan I've still got my soda bread in the freezer did you eat at yours?

4:30I think it kind of went stale we made four loaves a month but it was really good it was at Leafs and we had a really good time oh it's such fun I'd love to do another one, wouldn't you? Yeah, I loved it. Curry next. Curry next. And then they serve whatever you've made, they serve you with lovely wine and delicious things they've made. Rob Rinder and Ryland coming up on Table Manners.

4:59Cheers, L 'chaim. Good thing. From L 'chaim to joy. Cheers, cheers. Or as we say in Italy, Vindi, Vidi, Vici. He speaks Latin. Oh, Vidi, Vidi, Vidi. You came, you saw and you conquered. Oh my God. I know. Usually more of the Vinny in his character. And the Vinny. Don't they say just salute? They do say salute, but Rob bought me a bear with that on and I can't find it. Welcome. Can I just say, no, thank you for having us. I have been bullying our PR for years going, can you please get me on table manners? I met Jessie and Lenny at Hoopla and we're best friends. Are you going this year, darling?

5:36I'm not, because I'm in, where am I? I'm in Barcelona. for someone's wedding oh you're going to miss a big one oh that's quite nice god is it a heterosexual wedding no gays yeah it's in cities gays yeah gay right and I've never been but I've been told it's like the gay Benidon oh it's supposed to be fat oh yeah it's supposed to be fat not with nice hotels no I've got a villa people don't go for the hotels have you yeah I saw the hotels not us oh my god okay speaking of which your television show is great I've watched two episodes I've watched them because you can watch them you can watch them now they're available already it's the new way kids apparently it is so wonderful you two I loved it the grand tour Byron walking down you in drag Rob Pauline Fowler I feel like they could have adjusted the wig a little bit who's responsible for that what's the we?

6:36I think I would have done it in a million years if he hadn't your legs are fabulous you've got a lovely set of pins you've got beautiful legs walks like me nan she's been dead six years but I feel that's a sort of mixed compliment did you know what I mean oh you look like Pauline Fowler but boy are your ankles nice no you looked fabulous and I loved it I think you know you looked very beautiful it was very conchained it was it was very good but it was just I loved seeing you two together and I just It's such, there's a tenderness. We do. So is all this faux, we're a couple business? No, that's my fault.

7:13That's one. I wonder if it was a bit like, you know, Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Well, are we a couple? No. I find it funny because I adore him. But we are like a married couple. We rar all the time and we don't have sex. So we are fully a married couple. Yeah. But we started out as mates. Where did you get to know each other? We don't know. In a round. I remember the audience. We were under the same management. We were at the same things. It was one of them. And it was like, oh, you're right. Then this come along. And I was like, oh, well, Rob seems nice. He's like a nice bloke. Everyone who's said to me, oh, Rob's nice.

7:48He's not a prick. And then they lied. And then we literally done the show. And you know when you go from a mate to an actual friend? Yeah. Like he's one of my closest friends now. and there's two most amazing things about Rob one is he's like the kindest most genuine will kill for you you know if someone looks at you bad he's that type of friend proper loyal yes and two he's a walking fucking pharmacy in his bag his bag is like a small branch of booch is it? are you a neurotic Jew? you want an antibiotic? he's got it he's the most neurotic Jew you'll ever meet in your life oh my god honestly oh my god that's amazing I'm similar you are?

8:32I don't ask where they come from. I don't want to know. But I had a toothache in Italy and it was gone in two days. Yeah, I love that. That's so true. I don't travel anywhere without, you know, prescription medication. That is ridiculous. Of course you have to know, mate, what's it like? There's a Yiddish curse to somebody. May you know your doctor by his first name. But I did think it was really beautiful. I didn't know what I was letting myself in for apart from that. We didn't. Really? Yeah, we didn't. We got asked to do the show and I was like, more people doing a travel log in Italy I have an original idea no in the early days I didn't know Ryan at all from telly genuinely like the night before we met did you never watch X Factor?

9:12not at all he didn't even know I was on X Factor I love this such a year sorry I'm going to do a lot of this Jewish trigger warning put your couple on and get ready I love saying that true to God I was at my really close friend's house and their daughters said oh ryanan from x factor and they're you know slightly grown up grown up enough to like i've not watched it first time around but seen it on tiktok or whatever and i had no idea i don't know him from his broadcasting radio and so on and so forth and what i was hoping when the idea was originally let's say being explored was that somebody who meets that's the wrong word who perhaps is the unhappy victim of the soft bigotry of low expectation in other words if you don't sound a certain way you can't be clever I've always thought about myself despite it being a complete fake that I created when I was three and I sound like I was mugged by a Mitford I'm a thick person's version of what an intelligent person sounds like but the real people are those that say the most intelligent most piercingly true thing in the room and when it comes to art and culture that's what it was about and it's no overstatement it's no understatement to say that every time we stood in front of anything great or had any moment, he did it every single time.

10:31You cried, you wept. I felt more in love with him all the time. And this is the thing that really upsets me, coming back to your question. He will take a while to get it. Oh, no, it's like non-adorals. It's so true. Non-adorals, I call her. I just feel that there's something slightly limited, you know, mildly socially tragic, that when you have a platonic friendship, the greatest Greek form of love, where there's real connection between you, people want to plant sex on top of it instead you can fall in love with somebody's mind their spirit and how they have that limitless gift to make you laugh and this is the thing about friendship is not being there in the middle of the night the emergency services will do that for you it's you know that there's that special group of humans that you can call when something great happens and they'll celebrate with gosh they're happy for you that's what it's all about and that's the truest form of love well that was what i thought was so beautiful about when you got up and did the conducting.

11:25I was shitting myself. I could see. You really were shitting yourself. Yeah. And you were just so thrilled for him. And you went, when you walked off, it was exactly what I say when I come off stage. I go, did I look like a dick? I understand. And you were like, you look great. Do you realize I said that? But did I look like a dick? And it was so sweet hearing you, Judge Rinder, Robert, who'd been explaining, you know, the Duomo. Well, you hadn't explained the Duomo yet, but, you know, to just be like, do I look like a dick? And you would be like, no, you were amazing. it was a real friendship I was just so proud of him though like it sounds so silly but like Rob knows this world like he loves his Vivaldi he loves his club I couldn't make you sound the words I don't know what that means but that's the whole point of the show like it's it's like an educational show without being like A, B, C you just take it all in it's like you're on the trip with us and seeing him do that he was so nervous and I was I kept having to pull you like every 10 minutes and going you are getting it in your head like Rob is the sort of guy instead of physically living something, he will read about it, he will know every minute detail, but he won't do it.

12:31He will know exactly how to be a brain surgeon, but he won't go and do the brain surgery. That's what Rob is. Whereas I'm like, well, let's just do it. If you cut the wrong bit out, stick it back in and we'll start again. But that was very true because you were the person that encouraged him to try drag and you looked quite scared. You've looked uncomfortable. But I always worry these shows have a degree of insincerity or bullshit. And I think part of the reason people have responded to it is because even when you prefix a statement by saying genuinely, you always need to be a little bit sceptical about that.

13:07But nevertheless, genuinely, there is no way without this one I ever would have put on drag. And I needed to know, do you remember? He needs a reason. Exactly. What's the reason? And I'm like, well, the reason is these people I've never been out on the street before like this because of how people talk about them or they don't feel comfortable and this was like the first time that they were going to go and do that and I said that's what it meant and we spoke to one of the gorgeous makeup artists who was saying you know like Venice has become a museum but we live here and we need to remind people that one we live here and two we're this like queer collective that also are citizens of this place and people don't necessarily agree with that but this is our place too.

13:53Jessie what are you doing? I'm serving soup. No, we haven't had a chop. We had three courses on. No, we've got chopped herring. He is not going to eat chopped herring. He is though. You've got chopped herring. Yes, Jessie. Jessie, put the soup back. Let him try. You don't need to eat chopped herring. I can't eat herring. You're not eating it. He made me eat right. I'm going to have you to take it home. Because Jessie said you wanted chopped herring. Jessie, don't serve the soup yet. You can have soup and herring. It's fine, Mum. No, you can't. You are so actually driving me mad. So, have you got matzo there, Jesse?

14:26This is literally my childhood. Oh, I love a matzo. Yes, I've got everything. Wait, who, who? I made chopped herring for you. You made, wait, wait. You made chopped herring? And I've got a Tupperware for you to take it home. Okay? This is my, okay. I know. Jesse, we need some plates, darling. If this was Desert Island Foods, so. See, I told you you said chopped herring to me. Can I try it? Yeah, keep going. Did you really? Yeah, of course I did. Where'd you get herring from? You can use your own moths. See if you like it. Don't, don't. It's not your bag. I know, I'm bad. But I appreciate it. I like this like this.

14:59Look. I've never had homemade chopped herring. This is nice, isn't it? Oh, my God. I've never had a mozzarella for years. You get two mozzarella balls. Oh! So, can I have some? Just to be clear, that's not the only bit of the mozzarella we eat. Yeah. Sorry. Would you like two mozzarella balls? Two balls be lovely. Do you want some more herring? Or do you want to take it home? If it's there, I'll have some. This is so fun. Oh, I've got to try a mozza. Wait, who made the soup? I made the soup. I have made something, but Lenny has made it. Oh my God, I haven't had this for ages. This reminds me of being young.

15:38Did you use it? Well, you said it. I remember when I was younger, I used to go around the Jewish bakery all the time. So I love color bread. Where was your kitchen? In Stepnoe. Mum, mum, we're just having a chat Sorry, I'm having a food orgasm Why the heaven? Sir Ryland, you don't like fish, do you? Don't do fish Why not? So when I was about 10, my brother pushed me in the fish counter on Sainsbury's Before that I used to eat fish, but then I fell on a hake Oh, you fell on a hake You ever seen the hake? Oh, stop It's actually true It's got more scary teeth than mine And it was face to face with me Since that day I've never eaten a fish I can imagine you in Nobu having a lovely time.

16:21Vegetable sushi for me. Jess, just try it. I know. You know what? I like fish, but actually I'm okay to try it. Just try it. Just try it. She's made it with roll mop. It's nice. Actually, it's really nice. It's really nice. Thank you. Will you take the rest home because I brought a tub of air for you. I mean, are you sure? Yeah. This is very nice soup, Mum. So do you put your matzo in your soap? I do that. I like it. Does it need salt? Oh, I'm going to do that. And did you make... So we call them canadels, but to you... Yeah, I used to call them canadels, and now I call them matzo balls. That's a good soup, Mum.

16:57Oh, and you've used a homemade stock as well. Yeah. You haven't put a cube in it properly. I always put a bit of a cube in it. Which one? Ozem? No, Telma. Telma, okay. Well, it's a lot. I think it's a lot of kind of... Okay, no. Sorry. It's a good chicken soup. So you used to go to a Jewish bakery in Stepney Green. and get your challah. Oh, God. I think it was by Monk Bakery. I wonder if there's a challah as well. I wonder if... There's that other one there. Do you need some challah? Do you want challah? I love challah. Every Friday at Big Brother, we used to go and get the challah down Elstrade and they used to call me Rabbi Ryland.

17:31Jessie, where's the challah? Would you like a challah? I'd love a challah. Yes. This was not supposed to be a promotion of Jewish, like... Let it be. This feels like what we would do years ago when I was like, cross it, not cross it, we were interrogating someone in order to get, well, difficult admissions out of them. This is the sort of culinary equivalent of a honey trap. How am I supposed to talk when I'm having food orgasms? Sorry. It's the herring, isn't it? Yeah. If this were the night before my execution, this is what I would... So we've got two of them. Well, this leads us to the question that we are going to ask you.

18:10Your last supper. So Rob, you already have given us your starter. Herring. Would you say these are your starters? I'd have schmaltz herring. Schmaltz herring. What's the difference? Herring in fat. Yeah. With a glass of... No, I'm sorry. I'm with Rylan on that. With a glass of really good scotch, single malt whiskey, Scottish. Yeah, perfect. I mean, we've got roll mops there and you brought me a delicious bottle of... English as well, yeah. Would you like a little shot of that? No, no, you keep that, darling. No, come on. It's good to share. No, no, no, because I'm... This is a lot. Now I'm...

18:40Okay, we've got herring schmaltz. Are we talking about the food that you would eat that evokes childhood that brings you joy? No, we're going to do that later. No, you're dying, Rob, what you eating. But have you ever met anybody that could completely contain exactly what you're thinking in one phrase? That's what he does. Listen, are either of you courting at the moment? I love what's courting. Mummy always calls it courting. I just said that to the journalist. Oh, no, they're not courting. You've been divorced a while. Are you vending or whatever? You've been divorced. Have you been divorced a while?

19:13Yeah, I got divorced in... I mean, it went through in 22, but we broke up in 21. So, yeah, it's three years this Eurovision. But it's three years now. It's actually three years probably today. Did it happen around the Eurovision? It happened two days before the first semifinal. Oh, my God. What a shit. So, actually, I'm not even joking. You don't know the story. Yeah, but it's a big moment. I think it might be today. Oh, babe. Yeah. Happy Divorcer anniversary. Yeah, happy Divorcer anniversary. what was your question see what I mean are you courting no it was actually wash your last fucking meal but we've gone just moved on because we're not getting nothing out of you I know this is Lenny is three weeks in Italy three fucking weeks 24 hours a day you're me these two now the truth is coming out it was difficult it was difficult no to season two I just like to think I don't know herring would be my starter yeah back to the herring herring yeah schmaltz herring glass scott so we're going to do food that you really love from childhood later it could be in your last song you're an overachiever you need everything to be perfect no I am this is what's weird I'm the one who needs it all to be perfect he's like I'm not worried about it and I'm like let me finish it I was going to choose a fillet of fish yes every time I've got a big platform here I can see I could take a seat over there I'm not moaning Can I just say Can you imagine if we put my mum and your mum together It would be the end of the world What I was thinking boys Is that Jessie and you have a lot in common Because you both adore your mums Rob's mum texted me this morning She never texted me before It was like a message from the Queen Saying it was such a good joke I think they're trying to plot more So I do marry you Have your mums met each other yet?

21:08They haven't yet. They'd love it. They would. Is that going to happen? Of course it will. Yeah, inevitably. Definitely will. I'm bang up for it. What's your last meal, Rob? Okay. So I'm going to be really... Thanks for being the broadcaster. Thank you, love. I'm going to do herring as the main course, all fish. And then I'm going to have chicken soup. But I can't say who has made it because that will upset. I mean, that is like throwing a Molotov cocktail into a family saying who makes the best chicken soup. But I know who she is. and you know who you are. And I would then, if it's like last, I'd probably have a McDonald's fillet of fish.

21:47Oh! Is that wrong? Oh my God, the despair. I'm addicted. There's something evocative of childhood. So, you know, my parents got divorced and my dad would like, after Hebrew, yeah, well he had no transferable skills like me. And so, like all the single dads back then, it was like a treat in Southgate. Oh, I used to love a McDonald's. Yeah, and fillet of fish because we were kosher so we couldn't have the meat then. So I was currently... Do you not have the meat in McDonald's? No, it's not cultured. But when I was 11, I was eating out of the house. But you eat meat now? Now I do, yeah. So you could have the fish?

22:17Yes, you could have the fish. The meat? Yeah, and it was originally invented, I think, for Catholics. No, Catholics, actually. Don't eat fish on Friday. On Friday. Yeah. And there's something so... And my brother feels the same. We don't really share the same tastes. So you've got just one brother? You've got one brother and lots of stepbrothers and half-brothers and we all love each other. You do? Yeah, I love Von Schrader. They are? Yeah, do you think that's how you know you're gay when you're young? Like when you watch The Sound of Music and you see the Baroness Von Schrader and you think at the end, you totally should have married her.

22:47No, mine was getting excited over the underwear section in my mum's next directory. That's how I move. How old were you? Probably about eight. And then I remember watching, weirdly enough, because I work with Louis Theroux now, I remember Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends. I remember that. And it was like a gay porn one. Troy Halston. Yeah, at this ranch. and I remember it being on like a BBC tune like yeah yeah and put my little portable telly on and I was like yeah yeah so I know yours was Von Trapp yours was Weird Weekends yeah mine and also the next mine's a retrospective it wasn't it's just thinking about how fabulous she looked and thinking you know when she said oh Georg haven't you heard of boarding school I mean she's so fabulous and yet he went with a dowdy one who couldn't dress and had a bad haircut yeah yeah like me and yours Have you got brothers and sisters?

23:38I've got one brother. Is he as adoring of your mum as you are? We both have very different relationships with my mum. Is he straight? He's straight. He's married, yeah. He's 50, so he's 15 years older than me. My brother was like my dad growing up. I never grew up with my dad. So my brother was, yeah, always been more like my dad. Oh, Ryland, you've been with us a long time. Is it too long? and now it's time to go but you actually haven't changed at all you're 35 how old were you when you did X-Factor? I was 23 on X-Factor I turned 24 on X-Factor yes it's 12 years it's 13 years, 12 years this year do you keep in touch with Nicole?

24:22of course yes, I still keep in touch with Nick James, Jomaine Lucy, Ella Henderson the boys I was so lucky I don't know if it's like an us thing or just a luck thing, but our series, we all still get on. My series of Celebrity Big Brother, like we all still get on. Like Claire from Steps is like my sister. Yeah, yeah. Like it's, I don't know. Like I just meet people along the way and I like keeping people in my life if they're the right people. We win Celebrity Big Brother. You know I won it. I swear on my... We've had this conversation. I wasn't listening because we didn't say that. I thought you presented it.

24:55I did after winning it. Okay, I didn't know that. Sorry. Okay. Oh, fuck. Sorry. I'm sorry. I have to... I don't know. I forget. Yeah, I don't like it. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Who did win it that year? Me. He won it. Of course him. Because you just have to meet him, don't you? Do you know what I mean? So we've got a fillet of fish. No dessert. No dessert? Yeah. And a bit of cheese. Oh, yeah, yeah. I love cheese, yeah. It's so nice. Isn't that so joyful? It's like reading a perfect sentence in a book with somebody you really love and you feel properly seen. Totally. Has there not been any point where you were like, you know what, should we just have a snob?

25:28No. No, we've seen it. No. we've seen each other we're way past you know when you get to that point where which episodes are that in guys keep watching no like I've seen Rob naked Rob's seen me naked like it's just normal we're like we're that close of friends it's not no wait that's fine but just a snog then just cause they're in a better mesh and Rob Beckett have seen each other naked I bet they've slept together though this is this is actually a thing that my mum said. That's a thought. My mum did say, you know, before we were texting and I was saying, oh, I'm watching it and I love it. And she was just like, everyone's saying they're a couple.

26:11And she said, but, you know, they're not saying that about bloody Romesh. And, you know, I've caught, I mean, but do you feel like... It is a little bit like that. You know, we're two gay guys. Yeah. We're two divorced guys. Yeah. And we're two guys that clearly get on so well. Yeah. this one don't help when we're in a vineyard in Florence putting a tweet up of us two like looking at each other in a vineyard going I said yes or whatever the fuck it was so that started it I've got family members messaging me going oh I'm so happy for you you deserve happiness and I'm like Robert what have you done and then obviously we we went to the BAFTAs together because the show was starting that night thanks babe and um so like we're on the carpet and without foul Rob will always do this to me in a photo and look up at me.

26:59Do you know what? No, also because you're so tough. I love Rob too much to ever risk it. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you've got a good relationship Why would I want to change it? Do you think you'd ever marry again, though? I think I'd marry again, yeah. If it was the right person and with a prenup. I'd never remarried. I'd marry again with a prenup. 100 % I like my independence. I just like the party. But I want to have a wedding like I had before. Where was your wedding the first one? My wedding was at Braxton Park Estate, so it was a big, lavish, expensive wedding. And when you reflect on it now, you don't...

27:32I don't speak to half the people there. I won't do it again. I won't do that again. Do you know what? If I had another wedding, this time round I'd either do something in London, because it's like my hometown and I love London, and actually, weirdly enough, this will be a new story, I've never actually said this, but two or three weeks ago I got an email saying, we're looking forward to your booking in 2025 and I'm like what what's that what the fuck's that and normally I just think oh it's just something really crazy and I looked and I totally forgot about four years ago I booked Tower Bridge for my 10th wedding anniversary because it was my ex's favorite bridge which is a really weird thing and so I just remember like four four five years ago I like books it was just so weird and I was just like oh I forgot about this like that so I just thought why don't you meet him and push him in no I'd never do that I'd never do that just say for old times the past is the past but it was just no you you have like those little moments you'll know that like and I'm sure you will know that you have those little moments where it's like something it's I don't like to use the word trigger it's not a trigger but it's like did you watch sex in the city yeah yeah everything right so it's it's it's it's the carry moments where you're writing and you're you start hearing your voice in your brain it's like and just like that yeah i remembered it all again or and just like that i'd gone back five years and just like that i remembered the time that it's like you have these little moments where you go oh and that was like a little so you're single at the minute i'm single i can't believe you booked it that far in advance.

29:09That's the perfectionist in you. Jesse's 10 years this year. I'll take the back. You can have it. That sounds good.

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30:32Right, Ryland, your turn. My starter. Last supper, you're going on a desert island for six months. Oh, I'm on a desert island now. Yeah, well, I don't like that whole thing about desert island. No, I don't. I would have, I love a French onion soup. Oh, I do too. Got loads of onion and loads of Gruyere. Really like toasted, like melted in. That is perfect for me. It's kind of sweet, isn't it? Yeah, so sweet. I want it sweet. Sherry in it. Yeah, all the hits. Then for my main, I'd want typical East London pie mash with liquor. Pine mash with liquor I've never had it What? I know If this wasn't your own kitchen I'd throw something Have you?

31:14Yeah I love it I've never had it And jelly deals Let me take that for pine mash Love it Right We'll do pine mash So where's your best place? Bethnal Green or Chris Street Market Oh I used to have a stall on Chris Street Market Do you know Stevie's bestsellers? I did Do you remember Stevie's bestsellers? No It was a long time ago I was a social worker and I did, I sold sheets. More range. And when you sold what? More range on Chris Street. I sold sheets that I got from Philip Reichman and I just... Hang on, when was this? Hang on a second. Also, was it Reichman or Roseman? It must have been Reichman.

31:47It must have been 1978. You probably weren't wrong, darling. Oh, I weren't wrong, but my mum would have been down there. Yeah, Chris Street Market. It was a nice little market. Lovely market, Chris Street Market. Because it was smaller than Roman Road. Yeah, the Roman was long. Chris Street Market's just like square. I had a friend who lived in these places. I'm trying to get the sort of grammar of this life of yours. It was to make a bit of extra money. So during the week you were removing kids from problematic homes. While selling sheets. While selling sheets. And sold sheets at the region. Sheets on the side.

32:16That's what it should have been called, sheets on the side. But what's the famous one that was done? Kelly's. Kelly's. Kelly's. Yeah, Kelly's is down Bethnal Green Road as well. Yeah. So yeah, that's a nice one. And then what's the one in... Do you live in East London now? No more, no. I live in Essex now. Essex? Yeah, I live in Brentwood. Do you like Brentwood? I love it because I'm just, I grew up in London. So for me to just be on the outskirts and just be able to dip in, especially with the job I do, it's nice just to disappear and just have nothing around me. Jess, what's the name of the place that Michelle Keegan went to?

32:47Oh, Michelle and Mark are literally up the road. No, Sheesh. Oh, Sheesh, yes, up the road. So Michelle and Mark have built their house about five minutes from Rome. It's actually like Sugar Hut, Sheesh. Sugar Hut's ten minutes that way. Sheesh is supposed to be really good. Sheesh is lovely food. And there's one on Regent Street now. Oh. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, Dylan's open one on Regent Street. And where do you go clubbing? He knows all the names. I don't go out. I can't imagine you go out. No, I don't really go out. I just don't get left alone. I'm 20 foot tall with the biggest team in Britain.

33:12Everyone fucking knows their side. Oh, what a shame. I know, but that's why when we were abroad. No one's doing a fun run for him. Do you know what I mean? Well, they fucking should be. I want£2 a month. It's the ticket price. Do you know what I mean? I want£2 a month. But that's, in America, it's not quite like that. No, it's not. People leave you alone. No, here it's... By no means am I Madonna, but if she was walking down up to the street that side and I was walking down up to the street that side, they'd all come over to me because they'll think, well, I can't go up to Madonna, but Ryla won't mind.

33:41And I don't mind, but sometimes you do. No, I don't think you do. I'm sorry, I have seen you. I'm polite with everyone. You're not just polite, sorry. I would take my jacket off, but the suit's down there. Here they are. Look, she's got the girls out. Shut up. Here we go. What have we got? We've got slow cooked lamb. That's been cooked overnight. Oh there's a lot of mint on that, smell it smells gorgeous. It's got mint, it's got oregano, it's got, do you eat your lamb? Of course, yeah. Okay fine, so that's been slow cooked for like 12 hours, and then it's got fingling. Oh? It got what? That sounds like something, yeah.

34:16Mussel. At least someone's getting it. And then that's some labneh with some chargrant things. Oh I forgot these. What's labneh? It's like a Medi-Eastern aubergine with underneath it. No, labneh is... It's what it is. You put Greek yoghurt in muslin. You drip all the wet. It's like a green cheese. You put aubergine on top. That's very Otterling. Courgette. You put courgette on top. What are you doing here? Jess, where's the red wine? What's going on now? The lamb's been fingered. The asparagus has been fingered. Sorry. I'm just shoving them on. I shocked them. Did you grow them? No. She fucking grew them.

34:56She looked like a farmer. You're busy doing albums love Fucking Brian Asparagus Those are the thing This is the most adventurous I've ever seen you be with food Oh they're potatoes Yeah I'm not adventurous I'm Mr Beige You know what you made me eat Oh you might have seen it Tripe Well this is why I was like slightly worried about the texture of this lamb It's fine No this is lovely Tell me you're not suffocated Not tripe So we're starting off with French onions Then you're going on to... Pie mash and liquor. Pie mash and liquor. East End pie mash. Yeah. And the liquor's made from... Is it... Parsley sauce, but...

35:36Parsley sauce. I don't want to know. And I know what you're going to say, and I don't want to know. Okay, I'm not going to say it. The eel juice. I don't want to know. Yeah, but I was going to ask that. I don't believe it. I would never eat it. I don't think it's real. Okay, you don't think so. Okay, fine. Then... Then... What are you drinking with that? With the pie mash. If I'm having the pie mash... Are you going to stick with the champagne? No, with the pie mash, if I'm having the pie mash, I want that shitty orange juice they do. Oh, squash. You know, from being a kid, you're in that, then polystyrene white cups.

36:03Oh, not the one that's in the milk bottle. No, not that one, that's proper orange juice. Yeah, that's proper, yeah. But no, it's like blackcurrant or orange they do in it, and they just go, like that. It's like two pence. Should I serve you, I don't know, should you want to help yourself? Let him serve himself. I did the concern on your mom's face, she was like, no, let him do it. Just like, help yourself. I'm still working out if I'll ever get married again. No, this looks absolutely gorgeous. I'm getting a bit of juice out. Yeah, I'm worried that the juice isn't kind of got a zing enough. So try to have some of this.

36:32I'm going to have some of that. I would never serve that for you. Right, stop being rude. I'm not being rude. I'm saying it feels really... It's something I'm... It's come a long way. To me, this is like I'm a celebrity, but I'm here for it. Oh, my God, stop. No, I am Mr. Beige, honestly. I am... I'll have a crock-on shirt. Well, that is all right, though. Oh, I'm sure it'd be lovely. I got up at two in the morning to check that out. No, I'm looking forward to it. Right, so I've had the pie mash, and then for dessert, I'm also going to go for the cheese. Oh, yeah. But also with a gooey chocolate fondant.

37:04Oh, no. Like a chocolate bomb. Oh, I couldn't, yeah. You see, if you'd have told me what you'd like. Because I'm going to want both. Do you know what I love? When you're on British show as this is my business, they say, do you want the cheese or the dessert? Yeah. And I say both, actually. I do love the cheese on the plane. Me too, I love it. I love to do it. So nice. They do it nice and the chutney and everything. The chutney. It's lovely. I love it. Do you go out to sheesh a lot? Yeah, I've been sheesh quite a lot. It's literally up the road. Do you go over to Michelle and Mark? I've still not been over to Michelle and Mark, because I still haven't been over there.

37:37So Mark wanted to buy the land I bought, where I built mine, and then he got his one. Well, I wanted to talk about this, because you said you wanted to be an architect. Mm. And you designed your own house. Yep, I'm mine, I'm my mum's and did my last one. You've got swimming pool, haven't you? I might have. Because wasn't there a fucking... This is a normal boy. Wasn't there a snake or a crocodile in there or something? It was the second time I've had a snake. Babe, why are there snakes in Essex? You get rid of one more pump. What the fuck? Snakes in Essex? Yes, mum. Apparently snakes are native to Essex.

38:09Did anyone know this? Did anyone know this? No, you are joking. Snakes are native to Essex. I believe it's the adder. Oh, and Adda's scary, no? Let's wait for it. Britain's only poisoned a snake, in fact. Well, let's find out. Would you not... Who likes your spa? No, type in Essie. Who likes your spa? I think you should cover your brain full over, maybe. It's in golf! Oh, my God. And the snake was in golf! In golf! How did the snake... What was it in the kitchen last year? There's loads of bloody snakes in Essie. Why? There's grass snakes, Adda. No wonder I'm fucking single. Can you not get kind of a snake shield?

38:47Like, he cuts away. Babe, I've got doors. I don't, it's not shack. Well, how did they get it? I don't need like a mosquito net. I've got doors. I've got bifolds in the pool. It's fine. He's done well. I don't know where to get him. They're slippery bastards. How do they get it? I don't know. If I knew that, I'd clock it. That is what... Yeah, I've had two snakes. One in my kitchen and one in the pool. weren't in the pool weren't having a swim that is scary but I told you how I found it is it moved the camera did you see it I saw it it was really it comes up to the camera it was gripping literally I went live after I rang some snake catchers are there such people as snake catchers yeah they're only up the road 11 minutes because there's a lot of snakes in there well there you go they're going to make a living but they come round they can't find it and then they went oh we're going to leave a frozen mice here I went you fucking ain't take that out of me Paul so we never found it a frozen mouse yeah apparently it allure it I went well what are you going to do when you fuck off and it's eating the mice.

39:42I ain't going to get it, am I? I'm like, we're going to leave a frozen mouse. And I went, where are you going? We'll come back tomorrow. Why don't you just come and eat the mouse and fuck off to where it lives? But why didn't... Now I'm luring it in. Yeah, but you would have thought they'd have stayed around. We weren't like the crystal maze. We weren't like mousetrap when the thing was going to come down. They hadn't set up like a cage. Did they put it in? No. We're spitting all over it. No. You're not leaving that here. No, I agree with you. So they took it with them. No, I agree with you. But you haven't seen the snake either?

40:15I haven't seen it since. No, but my gardener did say it found a snake skin. How big exactly was the snake? It sounded like a shed skin. Was it as long as this table? No, no. About that big. Oh my God, that was big. Yeah. Ryland, do you have a pool because you like swimming? I love swimming. So do you swim every day? I swim most days when I can, if I'm not working. You were a backstroke champion for Essex. Backstroke champion for Essex when I was like 12. Were you? Oh, that's like, what's her name? Who was a swimming champion? Becky Adlington. No, Anne-Marie. Anne-Marie. She was karate. Oh, she was karate.

40:48Sorry. Karate. Karate. I can't believe I've actually not even asked the first question we asked. Oh. Which is, who's around the dinner table when you were younger? Oh, yeah, growing up. Growing up. What is a memorable dish from your childhood? One of the most memorable food tables I remember as a kid was a Friday night. Yeah. when my nan used to go bingo or my mum used to go bingo. And on a Friday night, my auntie Sue, one of her old neighbours, Ruby, who was getting on then, she's definitely dead now, bless her, me auntie Karen and maybe like Susan's mate or whatever, they lived in Essex, they'd come down to ours in London at like R5 on a Friday evening and my nan would always cook boiled bacon um potatoes and then do you remember the bachelor's pasta and sauces it was like pasta and sauce and it was like cheese and broccoli or something yeah you used to like mix it with milk on the hob and it would make this like cheesy pasta and it was always that and it was just the same fucking thing every friday but i loved it because it was exciting that people were around it was like oh it's friday night like everyone's coming out but i suppose it's like did you drink uh they'd have like a little drink and stuff like that i was obviously i was only young but it's almost it was almost like our equivalent of like a jewish friday night dinner was they're going up they're going up the troxy tonight so get the pasta and sauce and the the troxy the troxy yeah oh my god that's where it was when it used to be a bingo wall so where i lived like five minutes up the road from the troxy growing up wow and it's so strange now that that venue is like such a sink the pink like a queer space when did the rylan name come it was when I was about 17 I was working in River Island and I was also doing modelling at the time and I got this modelling job for this concierge company over Canary Wall, anyway my modelling agency at the time called me Keelan K-E-E-L-A-N Keelan and they were like oh yeah it's better than Ross, I was like yeah whatever I don't care, give me the money and did this job and it was like me doing a photo shoot delivering a bunch of flowers to a lady at her apartment or picking up the dry cleaning you know stuff like this anyway at the end of the day i think i got paid like 150 quid or 200 quid i can't remember hell of a lot of money but they paid me by check and they paid it on a printed check so it was printed to mr k clark and i didn't have the bollocks to go up to these people and say who'd been calling me keelan all day to say can you change this because that's not my name and i was too embarrassed so i never end up cashing the cheque I swear I've got it somewhere the next day when I was at work at River Island across the road was WH Smith so on my lunch break I walked over there picked up a baby name book opened it to R saw Ryland and went oh that sounds like Keelan shut the book and that was it that was literally that simple otherwise it would have been Keelan yeah if I didn't get that one and why wouldn't you stick with Ross because it just stuck like it just became a thing and then actually when you sort of watch the show 50 % of me is glad I've got Rylan to do certain stuff.

43:54It's your monitor, yeah. Yeah, it's like a little suit of armour. Can I ask you, what was a memorable dish from your childhood? Well, not dissimilar. And who was around the dinner table? Again, it's Friday night or it's Passover especially. And so mum, you know, was a single mum, but, you know, really kind of insofar as she could, it was utterly inclusive. but Passover was like especially important because my grandfather would go around to my grandma's house and you know for those that don't know Passover which we've just had sitting here is a commemoration of the sort of exodus from slavery into freedom and then eventually thirst for promised land and my grandfather used to take the service and there were commemorative food and that it's especially powerful because he was a holocaust survivor um so to be alongside him at the head of the table the only survivor of his family and four sisters and a brother and his parents having been a slave himself singing that story into our family in the and being present in abundance in food when you've known what it is to touch the face of that much starvation privation he was always, despite the story we were sharing so completely full of life and joy he was a complex character otherwise was he your mum's dad?

45:20mum's dad, yeah, very central to my life as both my grandmas were my mum was working so my grandma used to pick us up from school she'd go and feed us she is an extraordinary person that's an overused word, as all our mums are I think she wouldn't mind saying I sound like I've been mugged by a Mitfoot, you know. But I grew up around the corner from Amy Winehouse, and Mitch and my dad were friends. Everyone I grew up with does not sound like me. But I've gone back to videos of me as a child, and I do sound like this. Obviously, it was a way of creating a character. Very working-class community.

45:55And my mum started a small business from the top floor of our semi-detached house. Back in the day, she did desktop publishing. and she became a really successful publisher um you know self-made woman of real kind of power and you know same i suppose the inherited thing and similar to perhaps everyone around this table it's the word that i love most which is a it's a hebrew word or a jewish one but it applies to everyone's what it means is that um we talk about it a lot about who claims the pen so the universe the narrative is written for you but we all possess within us the capability and the power to grab that pencil or pen back and write your own novel and she's that human in every sense which is nice to some extent but you do want like a bit of something i mean you know she's i mean woman has deprived me of good four opening chapters of some sort of painful autobiography like when i got divorced i went around her house and she's like how can i be mindful in this conversation i was like fucking throw something.

46:59I sound like you. I'd stop mine getting a gun. Right, I'd have loved that. Mine was like, how can I be mindful in this conversation? Yeah, you don't want them to be mindful. No, no, no. You're completely on your side. She's 100. No, she's very on your side. No, no, no, she will do that. Is she bixen? But the way she does it. But it's always, it's well adjusted. Formulate it. Because we've grown alongside her. I mean, she had my brother when she was like 21. But Rob's like that. Rob's like that. You are. Rob's very much like that. I'm the soul. I punch first. argue after that's true he will speak first and then punch do you forgive quickly I can't forgive oh I'm a Scorpio like so I will let it happen once you fuck me off once that's fine and we can move through that but you're always in the back do it the second time you wish you'd never fucking met me just you know it's like that you never forget we're close when's your birthday 25th we're Do you both read them?

47:57I don't, which is really odd. I don't read that much. I write, but I don't read. So what are you writing at the moment? So I did mine. I've done two books now. Obviously, they were all biographies. But I write music. So I've done quite a lot of songs. They're really good. For yourself or for other people? For myself, which some have been released, but not on the island. And they've done well, which is fun. Isn't that cool? Sorry. So are you going to tell me what the name is? No. And then I've released a couple of tracks, yeah, that have done well and I'm happy with. And you're singing on them?

48:33Mm-hmm. And you've produced them? I haven't produced them. I've written them. So you've written them? I've worked with producers. And you've sung on them? Yeah. But have they been named more as a producer, DJ... Featuring... Featuring... Someone else. Why don't you want people to know? Because I'm not ready for that yet. Okay. I tell the honest truth because I think where I started out on X Factor and I had a very easy role to play on that show and that was be the one that everyone talks about. And my job wasn't to sing on X Factor. I think if Joe Public read Tomorrow, Ryland's bringing out a CD, people would go, shut up.

49:11And it would already be prejudged. And I've been really lucky over the last 12 years. I've been successful in my career. I've done really, really well. and this hand is telling me don't tell people it's you because they'll prejudge but then there's this sort of like curiosity killed the cat hand going could you do it all again like from scratch like could you replicate what you've done for yourself again like if you had your chance again do you do you still feel like you need to scratch that itch as a performer badly and it's getting to the point now I mean we I had a sort of not crisis meeting but like I sort of had this moment I look at everything like a film the whole life's a film that's how I look at it and I had that moment in the film earlier this year where I was like it's now or never if I don't do it now and I remember having this conversation going if I don't do it now we're not doing it and we need to take this seriously now and do it the right way and everyone's like right okay fine and I'm like right and then I get a beer mug on it the next thing you know I'm in Sweden next thing I know I'm here and I'm like right get this right thing I don't know there's something with my brain where I'm like it's obsessional I like to set really unrealistic goals.

50:21What the fuck's that? That looks like a Viennetta, Mum. Well, it isn't. Did you make this? Yeah, I did. What is it? It's a coffee ice cream cake. Oh, that looks delicious. That looks gorgeous. That's not up... No, it's not... Can I get you something else? No, but it would be such bad for my... You don't need to eat it, darling, at all. You're not a sweet person. At all. You never eat it. Oh, no, that's not true. I love Calipos. Oh, yeah, you do love it. I slowly. It's an interesting one. This looks gorgeous. What's happened? Oh, no. That is fucking handsome. Good. Oh, it's good. What have you put in this?

50:55It's got Kahlua. Ooh. Lady's fingers. Lady's fingers. Fingling potatoes. I've got a finger in this episode. It's got caramel ice cream and coffee ice cream. Gorgeous. It's nice, though. This is absolutely lovely. Whose recipe is this? BBC, I think. BBC. Wood. Can you cook, you two? No. he can Rylan can Rob can't I have no transferable skills of any meaningful sort we would be a great couple because I could do all of that and he could get me out of trouble with a lot Rylan would have for snake and liquor snake and liquor what would you cook us if we were coming over to your house I'd probably go quite Italian okay I'd probably make you fresh tagliatelle from scratch oh I'd make you pesto tagliatelle with like chargrilled chicken breast pesto pine nuts Pesto with a pesto of mortar and the whole bit.

51:50Yeah, I'd make the pesto. I'd make the pasta. Have you done this before? Yeah. I did MasterChef. Of course you did. How did you do on it? I became second. Who beat you? Kimberly from the Pussycat Dolls. Damn you, Pussycat Dolls! What was your final... So my final three courses that I made was my starter was savoury macaroons. from macarons. Oh my God. So I did like a tikka masala macaron. Do they give you any tips? How do you even know how to do that? You don't even... You know what I'm like, show me something once so I'll do it. It's so bizarre, yeah. I should have been a London cabbie. You take me somewhere once I'll go, leave on your right, Hedgeware Road, left foot.

52:37Was it John Taroad and Greg Wallace? Yeah. So I did a trio of macaron. He's like a genius. John Taroad's so lovely. So lovely. I was like, absolutely not. I don't want to go on MasterChef. My management were like, it's really, really good. It's good for your provost. It's like quite early on. And I was like, oh, okay. And I thought I'd go out first round. First round I got there and it was like muslin cloth and they were like, right, there's ingredients there. You've got 60 minutes. Off you go, make what you want. So we've done that. And the first thing I see is veal. And I'm like, no. Like, I can't do it.

53:06Like, I've got Arlene. Was it Arlene? I think it was. Yes, she burnt herself. Arlene, Arlene cooking the veal. This one cooking the veal, there was five of her and they've all gone for the veal. And me, again, the way my brain thinks, I'm thinking, no one said you have to use the veal, but that was obviously the main ingredient. So I just grabbed the biscuits and I made a raspberry cheesecake and won. Oh my God, that's brilliant. And I didn't even know I could make cheesecake. It's extraordinary. Your brain is... And they were like, it's very innovative. You didn't use the veal. I was like, well, you didn't say we had to use the veal.

53:37And you went, no, I didn't. And I hear them all going, I've never cooked veal. I thought we had to use the veal. a normal kick so yeah but I loved it like I remember one of the oh yeah so that was my start for the finale was a trio of macarons and it was like a tikka masala a tomato mozzarella macaron and then something else did you practice? I practiced the macarons but my main was a trio of beef so I did you like the trio? I love trio who? I just think it's nice having a little bit I didn't know this so I did I got Wagyu beef and I made like a Wagyu beef cube like a seared cube of Wagyu beef then I made Wagyu beef sashimi cooked but obviously not raw and then I made a Wagyu beef tea like a cup of tea it's like a beef of tea and then my dessert was the shard and that's what let me down because on MasterChef gonna give it all away they don't try it there and then and I was adamant I was like you need to I need to go first with this you need to try mine straight away straight in there like yeah well you made the shard yeah I'll show you and then so basically there was a reset for there was one of the problems with lights so anyway what it was supposed to be but it still was to a certain extent so I made like a marbled white and milk chocolate marbled shard that sort of sat up on the plate like that and then you cracked into it and inside I made a praline ice cream oh my god with a biscuit crumb shit and then I made black currant fizzy jelly cubes would you send us a recipe Oh, God, no.

55:12But my famous dish on MasterChef was I made Ryland's cheerful meal. So I made a McDonald's, a happy meal. A happy meal. Cheerful. I was on the phone to someone in Chicago trying to get the Big Mac recipe. I called So Much, the sauce. They gave it to me. Oh, my God. But do you not know? I made it. It's so... Rye nuggets, big rye. Again, that grabbing of the pen and going, no, no, I know you said no, but when I say I've got no... I did stand up to Cancer Bake Off. How did that go for you, Rob? The cameraman, I think, I can't remember how long he was off work, but he was laughing so much at, like, my bake, whatever it was.

55:50I didn't... Was it terrible? Whatever it was. It's the worst person. I was the worst person I ever had. He was laughing so he's like, bat came out. Yeah, whatever it was. He had a... Yeah, I went to my friend's house who showed me how to make a cake and started putting flour all over her counter. And I felt unwell at the mess of it all. I was quite tired, so I went and fell asleep in the lounge. and then I'd never seen the show. So you missed the lesson? I missed it. It was an absolute horror. So how do you eat? Well, during lockdown, I became really good friends with Hamid Chow, who was a driver for a well-known delivery company and he and I became really close.

56:25I was invited to his wedding. Hold on. Did you order so much Uber Eats or Deliveroo that you haven't? Not Uber Eats, but maybe the other one because it may or may not be a breach of his terms of contract. Deliveroo. You went to his wedding? No, I was invited. I couldn't go but we like yeah that's how I survived you could have married so what do you eat during tomorrow are you out tomorrow night what you oh my god this is like with being with my mum yeah like I think if she saw my fridge like she'd be so upset you could go to my nurse and heat things up no I might like my kitchen's for storage it makes a mess people walk into my so how would you describe the design concept of your house and somebody said it looked like the waiting room in Dignitas oh my god it's very sterile I love it like that I love the smell of like cleanliness I love the smell of blatant floor cleaning right it's basically a repository for art so we've not got kids as well that's so important do you know what I mean so it's like I will walk into my house exactly and if that don't is like that I'm like who is cut to that I've got I've got worming treatment for the whole family over there so yeah no I'm so sorry thank you for the meal um We just put a bit in the ice cream.

57:40Covering your sun, please. Pickle my needle. But you... But, yeah, so you have very clean places that are beautiful, but immaculate, but... Oh, it has to be perfect, yeah. It's got to be perfect. Yeah. Oh, God. That's why I get on really well. You must feel quite anxious being here. No, I love it. This is gorgeous. If somebody else had lived in with kids and... Oh, gorgeous. ...heaven, I... It has to be perfect for you. For my space. Yeah, not my study, which is full of books and it's the only room that has a bit of chaos in it. But otherwise, yeah. I know, I love coming in houses where you've got kids and life and cats and dogs and that's...

58:17Oh, good, I've got chocolate now. Yeah. And a mum with chocolate on her right. Are you saving this for tomorrow? Because we can just get you a tupperware. Do you... Well, you're a singer and you're a producer. Do you sing karaoke, though? Mum has got a whole fucking thing called... Karaoke. Karaoke. You're actually... Okay, but do you? Which would be your song? So my go-to karaoke song would be Craig David, Feel Me In. I know, very random. Anything Craig David. Have you met him? Yes, I've sung with Craig. Does he love you? I love Craig. I would like to know your karaoke song. Well, we did it. Oh, yeah.

58:58Yeah, we did it. Lionel and Diana in Leslam. We haven't got to Rome though, have we? You'll see it. it is available now it's number three that's number three it's number three you did it it's the end of the series who took Diana who took Lionel did you yeah you did yeah yeah you had a nice top range no no no but we'd been singing Castrati well I actually found him asleep at a cash point five minutes before so sorry we were in this really small Harry Oki bar took a picture I don't go out I'm like party like and I was like and the crew are going right and I'm sitting there talking to these people in the bar like what's up and they were like Like, I need you outside now.

59:37Oh, fuck, something really bad's happened. I came out. The first thing I see is slumped on the floor. I've got to cash point. So I think someone's hit him, run over. No, he's just sitting there and he's fucking fisherman's up. Thought he'd take a nap. It was really late. Outside a cash point. It wasn't late. It was 11pm. Actually, it would have been 10pm because we were an hour ahead. But he doesn't go out. So he's never going to meet anyone. Lily just said, you're never going to meet anyone. he doesn't go out I thought he was sleeping there because he thought someone might give him 10 euro and he thought this is the most and they got the money out yeah yeah it's true literally so in that scene he's just woke up I've dragged him in the song started playing and the cameras just rolled and that's the whole end of the series I mean I know that you you touch on it but do you think series 2 could be more that you take Rob to I think you may be So an experience-like I don't think you've seen the whole completion of the series because actually it really is a balance.

1:00:38It does swim around the episode, correct? Something happened. No, it really is important because the Grand Tour, to some extent, is obviously about art and learning about that history of the Renaissance and the Baroque and all of that stuff, which is important because it shapes and informs how we think about our bodies now, how you talk to your kids, yourself, about... And I genuinely think I can sit here and have a conversation about art. Without question. No. But also, it was also experiential. So it's all very well to, exactly as he described, to be able to talk about it, but how they went to escape all of the social mores that informed them how they had to be and live in freedom and, you know, sup from the marrow and the joy of life, right?

1:01:23And that's, you know, as much a part of it as understanding, you know, why Botticelli put, you know, paint on a canvas. If people like it and it does well, we've discussed what we would do now. Last question, because I feel like this Proustian food memory that can transport you back somewhere that is kind of happy or sad, like a taste or a smell that can just transport you back somewhere. I know mine instantly. Okay, go on then. McDonald's Happy Meal, chicken nuggets with the barbecue McDonald's sauce takes me back to Allgate McDonald's. always a mcdonald's birthday party when we were kids and they used to put the balloons around and back in the mcdonald's then you had all these stones with like artificial like yucca plants in back then and the plastic chairs with the bars and the padding and it just reminds me of dad it's a happy memory it's a really happy memory because it was just exciting for me and like the burgers like when you could move on to the adult burgers even though you're still a kid they were in those like poly phone boxes.

1:02:27And we were allowed to take one friend backstage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To look around the kitchen. Yeah, to look around the kitchen. I remember that was a proper thing. God, McDonald's really features in this podcast. Yeah. Is that right? Well, no. Rob, have you got one? I should have come prepared. That's right. Do you know what Chollent is? Do people know what Chollent is? Chollent. Chollent. Chollent. Chollent, yeah. I've never had it, but people have talked about it. It's like a stew, right? Yeah, it's a stew. It's made depending, you know, where people are, where their heritage is from. But it's a stew that was traditionally made before the Sabbath and it's got buttered beans and oxtail.

1:03:00And the smell. It's actually the smell. Yeah, it's strong. No, I love it. And it's made like the lamb you made tonight, slow cooked. And it's like the smell of all of the lovely things about childhood and warmth and being kind of enveloped in food that's been made permeated with love. Do you see how different we are? I love you both. and I love it's just the most perfect pairing and thank you so much for coming here we know how busy you are we love you so much yeah and everybody's so jealous that we've got you can we go on a date can we go on a date yes let's move this to the next stage yeah we'll go somewhere thank you so much thank you so much congratulations on a really beautiful show thank you and just like this gorgeous friendship and that is generally the best thing to come out of it and I know that sounds cheesy I hate him but it's true it's fab it's so gorgeous to be with you both but yeah this needed to have a part two so yeah we'll come back thank you okay yeah let's come back for the next season actually we'll come back and we'll cook for you how's that I'm not cooking he's not cooking where's the chocolate oh god no leave that he's taking it as long as he puts it in a bag

1:04:24Well, I thoroughly enjoyed that. I apologise now to Alice, our producer, because I don't actually know whether we got any food stuff in. But we had a gorgeous time. Just delightful. What a wonderful pair. But putting you and Rob next to each other was a mistake. Jessie, I can tell you I'm more concerned about bloody snakes in Essex. I know. Who knew? We won't be going around to Rylands. We're not going to Rylands for a swim. We'll go to Islington. Thank you, Rob. Yeah, we'll go to Islington. Dignitas. where he doesn't... I don't think he opens his oven, does he? I just love them. What a pair. They're both very clever men.

1:05:00Very clever. And I think that's where they get on. And kind and lovely. Kind and clever, yeah. And generous to each other. Can I just do one thing? What? I want to shout out... I've just been to Greece and I came back on a train from the airport and I want to shout out to... Well, first of all, the nice steward who recognised my voice and carried my bag. Did he sing? Darling, hold my hand. No, he didn't sing that, thank God. and he didn't hold my hand. The other thing, well, I met Sian and Sue. We stuck together, braved our way through the Tottenham Hotspur fans to get on the train and then I'd like to thank two gorgeous young people.

1:05:35Mum, you haven't won an award. In Stockwell, who carried my bag up the 20 steps that I forgot there were at Stockwell. Mum, I'm just proud of you that you took the tube. I'm very proud of me because I haven't been on a tube since Covid, before Covid. Wow. So, anyway, thank you to all the people that help carry old women's bags. Well, thank you to Ryland and Rob. You can watch the Grand Tour on BBC2 and iPlayer. It's charming. And you've got food all down yet. I've got soup there, chocolate there, and a bit of London. That astrology on your chest. Right, thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next week.

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