Ross Kemp

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1:06Hello and welcome to Table Runners. I'm Jessie Ware and I'm in Clapham again. I've got off cooking. How are you, Mum? Fine, darling. You seem very relaxed. Because I did it all yesterday. Nice. And it set for my sweet potato mash and went to Pilates this morning. Ooh. Great. Eat, pray, love, Lenny. Yeah. Exactly. It had to be in control. Namaste. Serene today. Yeah. Hakuna matata. Oh, my God. That tan is still giving. Yep. Worth the money. We have Ross Kemp coming on today. He's well hard. Well, I don't know if he actually is. That's the point. It probably isn't. He seems very... Probably a real pussycat.

1:54He seems very passionate. I mean, he's done everything, from being Grant Mitchell to being Ross Kemp gangs to deep sea diving for the History Channel to now hosting a new, well, it's in his second series, Bridge of Lies, which is a quiz show which got rave reviews. Have you not been asked to be on it, darling? I don't think I have. Anyway, so Ross Kemp is just having a lovely time. It's like he basically can do anything. But I wonder about who ensures him when he goes off to foreign places and tackles drug barons and gang leaders and Russians. I want to know what he's eating in the prisons. Oh, yeah.

2:37And with the gangs. I'm very excited to have him on. What have you made then, Mum? Made Moroccan meatballs with Harissa. Who did we do that for last time? I say we, I mean you. Me. The lamb, father and son. The lambs. Yeah, and they like that. Yeah, it was really nice. Yeah, so I felt confident doing this today. No stress. After Tommy Banks, you felt... That was a stress. But I've made... I think I have outdone myself, if it tastes nice, because I've made a bass cheesecake. It looks amazing. It looks great because you get this kind of burnt top. I tell you, I did have a moment yesterday, though.

3:15So I lined my cake tin, my spring... What did you say? Spring form. Right, lined it all. spot on, did the sleeve a bit higher, like three inches higher, put it in the oven and it leaked and I could see it all coming out of the effing bottom. So what did you do? I turned up the oven and thought it will seal it if it's a bit hot and it worked. So only about four big, enormous blobs came out and then it was fine. So much for your springform. It just didn't, I mean, I didn't know it was a leaky. Yeah, I guess maybe you just wouldn't use it. And it was quite like a batter rather than a cake mixture.

3:59Did you have baking paper? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I hadn't... You could do the baking paper two ways, either cutting it out and then lining it. And you did that. Or the actual real way I suppose to do it is pleat it. Do one big piece and pleat it around the egg. Who's got time for that? Well, that would probably have been easier. Should I tell you how I do it? How do you do it? I scrunch it all up and then it's far more malleable. You take it out and then you can like bend it around. Yeah, well, I could have... It's so much... You know how you always want to push it down? You scrunch it all up.

4:29Well, I could have done it like that and then it wouldn't have leaked because it would have been one piece. Yeah. But I didn't do it like that. I did exactly how I thought it would come out. Anyway, it's all right. Mum, I ate at a restaurant in Borough Market, which I knew about from when we had Alice and Roman on the podcast. Yeah. And you remember she was going... She was eating here and then she was going for a second dinner at a place in Borough, which was a new Sri Lankan restaurant. And? Rambutan. Yeah. Absolutely amazing. I've never had Sri Lankan food. The most glorious colours, tastes.

5:09They have really spicy there. And I was a bit of a pussy and I was like, I can't do like spicier than these delicious dosables. But like, it was such. Does this make you want to go to Sri Lanka? Yes, it does. Should we go? Yes. All right. But I just shout out to Rambutan because it's in Borough. It's very near my other favourite place, Elliot's. It's next door to Monmouth Coffee. And it's just such a great place to go and eat. And they do a really reasonable tasting menu, I think, for like£38 per person, where you get all their faves on there. And these really gorgeous mum. It was almost like a Cosmo, but it was with tequila.

5:46And it was the prettiest pink. I felt like you would have really enjoyed that too, the cocktail. but yeah Ross Kemp coming up on table

6:01Ross Kemp is opening a bottle of red wine well you were insistent to do it mate so now oh look at you alright pretty pretty good and it's not caught okay fabulous and it's my favourite wine what's your favourite wine what have we got You've got Pinot Noir, which is my favourite one. Really? Absolutely. And I do find that if I drink something like Shiraz, Cabinier Sauvignon, I just don't feel as good as when I drink Pinot Noir. Well, we'd better get it into the glass. I tasted a friend's house, and Jessie loves this label. See, I don't like Pinot Noir, but my mum was like, I really like their Chardonnay, bread and butter Chardonnay.

6:44And mum said, you said this Pinot Noir was really good. It was really lovely. So what I like about it is you can see through it Yeah So I often find that the amount of hangover that I get So you get less hangover Reciprocal to the kind of thickness of wine Cheers Lovely to meet you A bit like Ribena actually Oh yeah let's see I drink it like Ribena It probably needs to reopen a bit Oh it's That's nice I like that What do you think? Are you a wine connoisseur? No I just like Pinot Noir You look like you gave that look I just like it Me too And I like Pinot Noir And that is an excellent Pinot Noir Yeah it's nice So well done, bread and butter.

7:19How are you? How am I? I am good. Thriving. It feels like you do everything, Ross. I've just come back from Casablanca, but I can't tell you why. How fabulous. I know. And it's something to do with my family history. Okay. Oh, you're doing good. Okay. Wow, and you went to Casablanca. I came back, and I was back, literally. The way that my family were. I can also say it's a real honour to be here. oh you're so sorry oh god very talented people talented? yes I think so I'm just wondering whether this is like this is your spiel when you go and see like the gangs you're like how do I like get to put on the big schmooze disarm them and you're like how am I going to disarm Lenny and Jesse they're going to sound big fan I always roll up into any gang situation particularly in Colombia with a bottle of champagne and we crack open a bottle of Pinot Noir sit down in their beautiful kitchen You are, yeah.

8:17Teating us like that, yeah, yeah. He's joking, Mum. He's joking. Do you rock up with a big bit of coke instead? No, they generally have a rock of coke on them. More than one. In fact, I went to Columbia twice last year. And they're smoking a thing in the prisons now, and outside of it, called Bazooko, which is a residue of crack cocaine mixed with brick dust. Did you have a go? No, certainly not. Not when you see what it does to people. um so you know sometimes I sort of feel slightly guilty about the fact that I literally do get paid to go and make documentaries about human suffering so what's nice about doing a game show is it's less about human suffering more about having a laugh and a giggle and as this is I feel more relaxed doing something like this than I would do doing a serious well this could be a serious interview but you know going on and having somebody try and pour holes in what I do yeah yeah but so i like i came home from africa the car got stuck got a late flight back out of gatwick um much prefer heathrow because it's closer to home right and then the car got stuck on the drive because it tried to reverse back so two hours later after waking everybody else up he leaves and then two days into being at home i'm having the shower double shower tray because we've got a double one because it never gets used because really one person needs a shower at a time.

9:43But it was a great idea when I bought the house. Hold on, what? You've got a double shower tray so two people can have a shower at the same time? Yeah, there's two shower heads like that, like there. Well, that's quite fair. It is, it sounds... Well, you're newlyweds at this time. Yes, exactly. And it's never been used since. And it's never been used to its full potential. Let's put it that way. Not since kids came along. Right. Anyway, but it's 2.5 metres long by 2 metres high. So it's from here to the window, right? it manages to be pulled up and moved out of the way because the shower tray is leaking and it has to be replaced and I leave for, I'm making a documentary I can't say what that's about it's organised crime groups so I was in, I've already, before Christmas I was in, back to Columbia and back to the same prison that I'd been in for a month before in between doing the game show and then I was yeah sometimes I'm away from that that's about the max that I like to be away for anyway but i've been to italy and spain and all over that part of europe and that bit of glass is absolutely fine i come home the guy who come who's fixing the glass and putting the tiles back in he comes over now my kids have been running around it the dog's been around it human beings have all been around it but whatever happened in the five minutes that it shattered into a million pieces i have pictorial evidence so that's like two days home and then yesterday morning i woke up to the nanny who arrives at seven saying ross there's a monk jack stuck in the railings of course there is of course there is a monk jack is a deer that gets to about where do you live you live on the bushy path no i live just outside of place with marlowe but i am surrounded by national trust land so there are a lot of monk jacks around but it's got an open gate and it's got the railings are that long and that long with an open gate so monk jack what were you doing but it's gone through a drop off so it's like it's got its head it's got its front legs through it's got its tummy through but it's it's terrible it's screaming so i'm out there with a dog i had to put the dog dog tail to the nanny one side of the railings and the fencing and i literally had to pull the poor thing back through.

11:59And she was bald. She's as bald as me on both sides. By the time I got her back, but she's alive and she ran off and she's good. But that's how you start a day. How old do you think she is? She's a baby. She was small. She was a baby. Because they get quite big. They can get, no, not too big. They can get to about that big than males. No wonder you're doing Bridge of Lies. It must just be quite nice to be in the studio where people step on things and try and work out whether it's Spice Girls or Sugar Babe songs. It's simpler than being at home sometimes. you know what it's about the balance isn't it because it's nice exactly I'm very lucky that I get a balance and like you do you get to kind of go and hang out with jug lords and meet the most interesting terrifying people but then you also can go and do a very successful game show yeah you saw that coming but that's brilliant I think the world's changed I think television's the world has changed changed a lot particularly since since lockdown and covid but also the way that when i was younger i left drama school in 85 you know where did you go i went to webber douglas which doesn't really exist anymore it became part of central my first job was with john thor and richard wilson who many people might remember as victor meldrew and morse but you know they were big television names in that day and television was a big really really big deal and it's sort of become less so with the advent of social media and podcasts and everything else there's so much more choice out there uh than there ever was but when i you know when i first started going out into acting in the acting world there were there were reps virtually in every city in or in every town in the uk there were like 50 60 odd repertory theaters i thought oh that's going to be in my life i'm going to move around doing rep theater and i might get on the boards but yeah tread the boards and get a little job in television and how wrong could I but you're not doing any acting at the moment you just did the Channel 5 programme but you were up for an award so I had a really bizarre year last year so I started off with 10 weeks in Hungary in Budapest pretending it was Coventry and believe it or not no one spotted the difference which I don't know what that says about Budapest or Coventry but and then I had like 2 weeks off and then I went off and made a documentary uh then i came back did some corporate work and then i was finishing off a book that i a book that took me two years to kind of like get together and then i went and did a documentary in columbia in a prison called lapicotta which is really interesting unfortunately it might not see the light of day but it was fascinating why not just reasons that i can't go into and then I went off to Scotland for three and a half weeks to do the game show which I love doing coincided with me being away so it puts a lot of pressure on my wife and everybody else at home and I miss my kids dreadfully when I'm away how old are they?

15:02really young so I've got two girls who are six I've got a boy who is eight and I've got another boy who is 13 who lives with his mum and a golden retriever and a golden retriever called Bruno we don't talk about Bruno I love he's a boy he's my soul buddy do you love him no careful what I say but sometimes when I'm stressed out I do actually envisage him oh that's your go to he's your happy place he's totally unjudgmental do you know what I mean my kids are so much more judgmental I mean, I love them more than my dog, obviously, but, you know, my wife, of course. But he's always happy to see me.

15:50It doesn't matter what's happened at school. It doesn't matter what's happened at the office. It doesn't matter. He wags his tail and licks you. He just wants to be there, you know. And even when he's been fed, they're a dog that loves, that breed of dog that loves their food. He's just always over the moon to be happy. He's so happy. And we nearly lost him two years ago. so he's like every day that he's around there's a little bit of a bonus I'm really enjoying getting to know you Ross because you're a softie you're a bloody softie aren't you yeah yeah until you're trying to my face yeah you're not well hard as I thought you'd be well no I don't think that was a character that I played in a soap and it was and again going back to how television's changed it was being watched by nearly 20 million people on a regular basis if you're and there's nothing else on TV you're going to watch it aren't you whether it's good or whether it's bad and I think it was also pretty good in those days I think it still is whose idea was it that you become a documentary maker who thought Phil Mitchell should change film he's Grant Mitchell Grant Mitchell sorry but Grant should change and become this documentary meter maker me it was your idea totally fluke I was asked to step in to present I left EastEnders after 10 years and went to ITV on a contract.

17:11Yeah. And it was mainly to be an actor. But I got bored really quickly because I'd been working virtually day in, day out on Enders. If you weren't there, you were learning lines. Yeah. To be there the next day. And so they asked me to step in. I know a number of people turned it down. So when they rang me up and went, you're the first person we thought of. I went, this is before mobile phones and before the internet really had taken off. and I went yeah apart from the two people I know you've already asked and I said yes and while I was making it I met a guy in Compton who's a black laddie. Compton in America?

17:49Yes, it was about America's infatuation you can still watch it, it's still out there on YouTube it's called Lethal Attraction and he'd been shot 23 times and I went no one's been shot 23 times right and survives and i met him and apart from having a lot of guns on him he had been shot 23 times and i couldn't help thinking that this guy had he been born 20 blocks in any direction from where he was would have been a teacher would have been a producer would have been a a valued member of society could have been anything um and because of circumstance and because of location he ended up becoming a gangster and um i stayed in contact with him but again it's often not a case of of what you know it's who you know and i knew people at sky at the time and i put forward the idea we went on to make 19 of those over 35 extreme worlds 15 films in afghanistan at the minute i reckon i'm 123 124 that dogs exposing yourself we'll get to food in a minute but exposing yourself to that much suffering and negativity and crime it must do things to you i mean you think it must be exhausting you're like how do you escape and what do you do to kind of offset that misery i think you've got to have a curious i think to be an actor good actor you've got to have be curious about how the world works and what makes human beings tick.

19:30I know that you're a social worker, so you've seen your fair share of misery. There's also a lot of joy attached to it as well when things turn in the right way. We can make things change. Yeah. And so I don't sit at the top of the tree by any stretch of the imagination, but if I can bring people to a world that they would not necessarily want to go to, if I can make them switch off the computer and come with me and get a better understanding of maybe the class system in India and how that eventually affects children involved in sex trafficking. Or we can look at the tribal violence that exists in the highlands of Papua New Guinea and just show you how brutal it is and how much nothing's being done and how nothing has changed because only two days ago, 26 people were killed in exactly the same place that I was in making it from about it seven years ago.

20:20But if I can do that in the way that I want to do it, which is a freedom that a lot of people don't get to be able to make programs the way they want to make them. And that is becoming harder and harder. They've got confidence in you now. No, but you personally... I didn't ask the question, did I? You didn't. So how do I deal with it? You get better at it the more you do it. It's like typing. Yeah. You get a better... you become a better judge of when it's not going in the right direction and how to redirect it and steer it um do i lay awake at night worrying about it i have a very disposable brain there are certain issues in certain moments particularly involving children that never go away um um and also i can i can often kind of like deep i can deconstruct it into a very very good man a very very bad man so i can literally and that sounds really an awful way of kind of separated because every there's people are a mixture of many many things often in circumstance is often the greatest influence i don't think people are often born to be awful and incredibly be cruel the circumstance sorry i think it's genetic well and some people are but they're the rarity some people are bad yeah yeah and i would say mr khan who on camera admitted to killing over 300 young girls when it came on top for him because the authorities were after him he was a sex trafficker and he started to cry because he felt sorry for him that's the only time i've stopped an interview because i literally was going to kill him but i couldn't because he He had armed bodyguards around him, but I wanted to and I couldn't face him any longer.

22:12And it was his self-pity. He was kind for himself. Self. Yeah. That sent me above the notch that I normally can handle. And I've interviewed paedophiles and I've interviewed some really kind of pretty extraordinary individuals over the years. But that was the one. But then I have Dr. McWaige, who was doing nearly 1 ,000 fisted operations of women who were being butchered, their genitals destroyed, with bayonets and sticks and things, hacking people's hands off. And he sits at the complete opposite of Mr. Khan. And there are so many different things that are in between that. I have to use something as North and I have to use something as South or vice versa in order for me to be able to put into order what's normal and what isn't normal.

23:10What's been your scariest moment? Have you got one moment that you think, I'm really not going to survive this or I've gone too far? I'm not the best barometer for that. The best barometer for that is the person on the ground. they have a better understanding of what's going on and what's going to happen next. Have you ever felt frightened? When bullets are whistling past your head you generally should wet yourself slightly. I remember once my first ambush in a place just outside of Sanger in Afghanistan I'm face down and it was to my left and to my right and I think the next one's going to pare me down the middle because he's clearly aiming directly at my head which is my my blue helmet which is face down but i've got bergen on my back that sticks up that high and and and that's when the sort of like the idea and the romantic idea of war suddenly just drained from in there but it didn't stop me going back i carried on going back for another five six years six years and but there is there is also a um an attractability about that but in terms of you know seriously when somebody knows what they're talking about says we may not see the sun go down and you go well this is my life that's the end of it um and what was it for and at that point in my life i was you know i didn't have kids i didn't i was i lived not far from here really where did you live just off i just lived first i lived off cap and common north and then i lived um in beachmore road just off balancey parks i lived there for most for 20 20 23 years so all the time i used to train for afghan south london boy no no i'm an essex boy but But this is where I ended up.

24:50Why did you end up in South London? My first wife. Oh, right. Well, you started off in Essex. Yeah. How many in your family? My brother. Yeah. Who is an award-winning documentary maker. Oh, is he? Yeah. So people say, oh, it's a massive step for you to go into documentary making. Well, it wasn't really. Most of my friends were journalists. I didn't hang out with actors that much. I like actors but it's not the way it's rolled for me so I either hung out with mates of mine here in the armed forces or people I played rugby with or I did martial arts with or journalists What did your mum and dad do?

25:32Did they work? My father was a police officer in the Met for 30 years and worked his way up from a PC to a detective superintendent he's still alive, God bless him very old now, he's 85 years old and my mum was a hairdresser Who's the cook at home? Mum, 100%. But food has always played a really important part in my family. And my dad obviously did long hours and wasn't around very much. But when he was on a Saturday night, there was a collection magazine called Supercook. Like in those days, in the 70s, these kind of binders where you put together recipes. You get one a week, didn't you? One a week, and it was a good way of making more money.

26:12And then you got a little ring binder with the picture on the front. You see, yeah. But there were recipes from all around the world, and my mum, God bless her, would try and cook these meals. And that was very different from what most kids in the close in Essex that I played with every day were getting on a Saturday night, you know? So, you know, we were experiencing paellas and beta-laskas and, you know, garlic chicken. I'd be putting garlic on chicken in the 1970s. and you know we'd have more wine than just black tower and blue nun which were they you know they were the drink of the day in those days so having a special meal on a saturday and us all getting together is really important it's something that my wife my wife and i encouraged even though annoying it can be with my children occasionally particularly after i've got i cook the roast generally the chicken or whatever it may be um i make and i'm very proud of my gravy i'm not very good at all things particularly i can't i'm not a great baker but uh i'm not a baker at all but i can make pretty good stock gravy so what's your secret your chicken soup what's your secret use natural ingredients and use vegetables as well i mean in so if i'm going to cook chicken and people would like this but i will put stock in with it chop up and chop an onion up chop carrots up go and get some whatever herbs i'm not exactly it's not a precise science it's just practice over the years good seasoning uh it's a natural stock uh glass of wine and let let the juices of the chicken mix with that and then like just before the job sometime before like 20 minutes where i'm going to pull the chicken out and let it stand i'll lift the chicken out make sure all the juices generally pour up my arm burn me and then get the chicken out if it's cooked i'll leave it to stand but then I'll take all those juices out and I'll mix it together in a slowly thickening.

28:11So you've kind of almost made your gravy whilst you've been cooking your chicken. That's a nice little choice. Potatoes, yeah. The greatest thing is to shake them in a sieve to get them to break up so they crisp up and use duck fat, goose fat. I don't use lard. Also, the thing about people eating processed food I think it's one of the biggest issues that we have that we're faced with in the West you know some of the poverty that I've seen in the United States of America is staggering people have this kind of romantic image that everybody lives on the East Coast and the West Coast they don't, the majority of them live in the middle or in the South, where a two litre bottle of fizzy drink is cheaper than a bottle of water everyone in America's got perfect and white teeth, I can assure you that couldn't be further from the truth.

29:07Most of them have black teeth by the age of teeth that have gone rotten, or gone brown, whatever it is, from often a very early age, and lose teeth. Do you watch what your kids eat then, like, with protests? More so, my wife's a sugar Nazi, so my kids, I think if they touched some of the stuff that I ate when I was a kid, they'd be stuck to the ceiling. You know, literally, I mean, the ink numbers that I must have consumed when I was a kid, just must have been frightening. There was a Corona man. Do you know what this is? A Corona man would come out. Yeah, we used to have the pot man. He used to bring Corona.

29:43He used to deliver like you had milk delivered. Once a week you had pot delivered. He'd come round with a fizzy drink. Yeah, with a fizzy drink. So we used to have your face. No. Did you not know that? No. We used to have it delivered. It was the best day of the week. And I think they delivered it on a Thursday where we lived. And we had it on Friday. So we had dandelion and burdock and grapefruit crush, my mum used to write. Grapefruit crush. Can you imagine there was no grapefruit in that? Why have we never discussed that? Agent Orange. There was orange aid, right, literally glowed in the dark.

30:15Yeah, it was neon. Yeah. So what was a memorable dish from your childhood? I mean, it sounds like the Saturday nights very varied, but is there one dish that your mum made? So cook-a-van. I still love to this day. I love cook-a-van. I always have. My mum does or used to do it. She's too old really now to do it. And I used to, this is going to sound so, this is like a semi-detached in Essex. We're not talking in a close, right? In a close. In a close. Or a cul-de-sec. Was that elevated to live in a close? Oh my God. So you live on a road? I went back there. I was writing the book and I went back there.

30:52You know, I was 10 when we left there and we moved further out in Essex because my dad had got promotion in the police. Where did you move to? and Loughton. Shenfield, which is just outside of Brentwood before Towie ever happened. So I ended up playing rugby for Brentwood and went on to play for the county and et cetera, stuff like that. Should we eat? Yeah. I'm going to just put the microwave on to make the sweet potato. Okay, fine. So I'm telling you what, we're having Moroccan meatballs with harissa sauce and some sweet potato and some cavallonero. I've just come back from Morocco. Have you been having a lot of harissa and have you been having lots of tagine?

31:27Petent tagine. Did you eat well? Yeah, Casablanca is very different to Marrakesh. Yeah. It's not what I... So, you know, Humphrey Bogart has a lot to answer for. Yeah. I know, you'd think it's going to be exotic. Or Laura McCall. Marrakesh is exotic. This is the capital of Morocco. Okay, and it's not gorgeous. We do need to ask a bit about food, Ross. Okay, definitely. But you know that you will be asked your last supper. So it'll be a starter, main and pud and a drink of choice. I think I know the drink of choice. But just let that mull over in your head whilst we talk. Yeah, I've met people who have had to make that choice.

32:09What were they like to eat before they died? Most of them didn't get what they ordered. Tell us more. I've never done pregnancy by death row, but I've met people in certain countries who were probably facing death the next day and whatever they wanted to eat. And also, one of the things I was really proud of when I was going back and forth from Afghanistan that I was asked to go to the House of Commons, and fair play to them for asking me to do so, because a lot of your basic squaddies were too scared to complain about the food that they were first given when we went out to Afghanistan. But they were meals-ready, MREs, made for a Cold War that they thought was coming, which may still be coming.

32:51What does MRE mean? Meals-ready-to-eat, MRE. Okay, sorry. and so you open them up you put them in boiling water and then you open them up and you eat them but it was so hot in Afghanistan I would lift up the pouch between my ceramic plate and drop my favourite one was chicken tikka and complete with rice inside it and literally by the time I finished the day and we were in a compound where we thought we were safe I would open that up literally open that bag up and it was steamy. You literally cooked. You cooked yourself. It was 43 degree heat, 44 degree heat. And you carry, I'm not carrying a weapons system.

33:32I was just carrying camera batteries, water and body armor. It was a real wake up call for me going out to Africa. Darling, you can have more. No, that's perfect. That's a little, it's a bit on the small side to be honest. Give him another ball mum. Smells. Here you go. I need more balls. Yeah. This is great. It's also very, very healthy. Do you want some more sauce? There's loads of sauce. I'm good. Are you sure? I'll have a bit of sauce. He doesn't have gravy. Wow. I'm not lucky.

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35:20Oh, this is stunning. Is it? This is really nice, Mum. Good. Delish. Yeah, it is wonderful. You've eaten all around the world. You've been everywhere. You've been in very unique situations. I've told you a story about the chicken, haven't I, and the gang members. No, please. I got engaged by mistake to a gang member's sister in El Salvador. What do you mean by mistake? I gave her a reciprocal teddy bear on a key ring. He made me, before I left, by everybody in the little psychopaths of Delgado. in El Salvador, a big barbecue. And my chicken arrived and literally put my plastic fork into what I could get into the chicken and it was just covered in blood.

35:58And he made me eat two mouthfuls of it at gunpoint before he let me go. And I was saying... Why did he do that? Because you weren't going to marry his daughter. Sister. Oh, for God's sake, did you get salmonella? There was another reason for that. I was engaged to be married to somebody else. Also, she was about 14. And also, I didn't really fancy having chit-show as my brother-in-law. or spending the rest of my life with a little psychopath of Delgado did you get ill? yeah I was so ill I woke up my AP who went on to be one of my directors Marta Shaw one of the bravest women I've ever met in my life I went to Syria to Libya with her she gave me Pepto-Bismol which I didn't even know probably what it was in those days it's an anti-acid it's like Gavin's gone for Food Boy no I promptly threw I went off like a Roman candle at both ends and woke up with my face stuck to the the tile flooring of the Hilton in El Salvador or San Salvador City anyway on a more cheerful note at least you were alive that's an amazing story there how does that rate in your top 10 does it even make the top 10 no it's not food poisoning I've had it I've had lots of no I'm not talking about the food poisoning I'm talking about the guns in your head in the like that that bit was the bit I had a lot of guns pulled on me.

37:17Who insures you? I don't really, I don't really got insurance. I used to, so I took over production. You're like bloody Bruce Willis diehard. No, I'm not. I'm so not. I'm so not. I'm so not. How can you go away without insurance in case anything happens to you? Because you leave enough money in other places to cover it. Okay, fine. And there was insurance. I mean, but, you know, most of these companies aren't going to pay out, so I shouldn't say that, but it's a fact. Don't waste your money. So, you've been around the world. you've eaten, apart from the gun to your head chicken surprise. It was like it was going on the table.

37:51I mean, we were going to make you marry me chicken. That would have been kind of perfect for today. I'd have eaten it. Honestly, can I just say? It's really not. Thank you. Let's go on to your last supper, Ross Camp. Starter, where are we going? Oh, it's so difficult. Do you want some more sweet potato? No, thank you. That's more than enough. Oops. so I can have a starter from anywhere or anything I'd probably go some kind of sashimi or this is going to sound so Essex which I have in Scots a proper prawn cocktail what's the Scots one like? brilliant, I don't want the prawns to be too big and overly puffy I want them to be small and sweet they do a pint of prawns which I absolutely love.

38:44I'll have that. I can pick my way through those. Makes your fingers a bit smelly. Do you like your prawn shelled? Yes. Me too. I hate that, having to shell them. Oh, no, no. I like them. Oh, you like them with the shell on? No, because you know them. It makes me work a bit harder and makes me not guzzling it down. Keep your fingers, darling. That's okay. Okay, so that's your starter. I'm sorry. But I would also like a cheese souffle. Oh, I love that. I nearly made that today. Jessie pulled her face. I was going to do a smoked salmon cheese souffle. Oh, you see, I love that stuff. I thought that was quite hit and miss.

39:21Excuse me, you put vomited vogee on when I suggested it. Well, I think it was a bit hit and miss. I thought maybe it would be like... A smoked salmon souffle. Some people don't like smoked salmon. We do in my house, so. And I know the first time I had it was when I went to buy the leather jacket for Grant Mitchell. And we went to, oh God, what's the Harvey Nicks? And I went downstairs with Peter Holston, who was the costume designer. And this must have been 1989, December, early December. And he said, well, you're going to have lunch. And I'm like, I don't need places like this. I've never been to a place like this.

39:59I've just bought a Hugo Boss leather jacket for a character I'm going to play in one of the biggest things I've got in. That's amazing. Did they give you an allowance? Yeah, the allowance. I mean, you did wear that leather jacket to death, to be fair. They got their wear out of it. Have you still got it? I've got one of them, funnily enough. I couldn't let it go. It sits in the wardrobe. Who were you married to in EastEnders? A few people? Yeah, quite a few. Tiffany? Sharon? I never watched it to be honest. Tiffany and Sharon, mainly. Oh, Sharon. So back to Harvey Nicks, you ordered your smoked salmon.

40:29Yeah, I had smoked salmon and scrambled eggs for the first time. I know that I was 25, because that's the year I was 25 when I joined EastEnders. And I remember not long after that, I went to my first proper Chinese restaurant and had Peking duck for the first time. And my kids expect Peking duck. With pancakes? With pancakes, yeah. Yeah, I love that. You know, hoisin sauce. So what are we doing for the main? I would make my own roast chicken. Yeah, roast dinner. Roast dinner, sorry. My own one. That's okay. Yeah, sorry. I think you are the only first person to make your own last supper main. Just saying that.

41:09I don't know what that says about you. I'm going to digest that. That's a bit of a control freaky thing. I mean, I said that as soon as you came in. You spied that. That bread and butter of Pinot Noir. Do you start with a cocktail? When I'm making, I drink red Pinot Noir. Pinot. I got it right today. Got it so right. That was superb. Thank you. What are some of the table manners or differences in culture around eating you've discovered in all your travels? Well, hand eating is always a difficult one. For you? No, I can eat with my hands. It's just like, you know, you're always worried about D and V.

41:43Okay. You love an abbreviation. I'm sorry, an acronym's a meme. Diarrhea and vomit, that means. If you do get D and V and you're away from home and you're in a war zone, trust me, it's one of the loneliest things that can ever happen to you. there's no mama to come and give you anything aren't your producer giving you Pepto Bismol often when I was out in Afghanistan it was just me and a cameraman and he went down worse with it than me often you know there is nothing worse how many times have you had runnings? really badly in Madagascar in Afghanistan twice in Africa once in South America three or four times and also but I've had I'm like I've had some of the most amazing meals I can remember being the Warani tribe who were in the middle of the Ecuadorian rainforest cooked us and you're going I'm going to get ill but I have to eat this, it was a chicken stew and I thought god there's got to be one of the best chicken stews I've ever had what was in it that kind of it must have been local produce local things from the Amazon you know there are undiscovered plants in the rainforest they're pretty sure could cure most cancers.

42:56And the average, I think, is 100 square metres of the rainforest. There are more different species of plants and trees than there are in the whole of the Northern Hemisphere. Wow. And we're destroying it at a rate that is just phenomenal. I went there to show how the making of cocaine was destroying it by how much paraffin gets poured in the residue of making it. the coke coke paste does but the amount of mercury that's in in the wood table there because of the thirst for gold whatever and i say man but i mean humankind but it's generally men wherever humankind go particularly into environments like that they put a road and as soon as they put a road everybody goes there and everybody's out for their 40 years 50 years 60 years on this planet to enjoy themselves as much as they possibly can or they'll do something which they believe is going to bring them, in quotes, happiness.

43:57Mum, this looks great. Wow, it looks... You're going to have to have a slice. Jeez. Pudding, where are we going to go for your last supper? Because I'm not sure you enjoy them too much these days, too many these days. No, no, I've lost the love. The love? Yeah, that's not for me because I can't have... That's way too... I've never seen Ross Kempner so terrified with the slice that mum just offered him. Do you know what? I was supposed to have a half one, mum. We're going over like a tart. Also, can I just say, this is about the waste thing because this is the way that I was brought up. You had to clear your plate and even sometimes it was things...

44:37There's one thing that, you know, I eat nearly everything. I'm not a fan of pesto, but, you know, I've eaten lime seed slugs in different parts of the world. Porcupine for breakfast. I've eaten I shot and killed squirrels sadly I had to when I was living on my own in Alaska why? because there was nothing else to eat I had to survive on my own that was part of parcel of it shall I take I'll eat my meat bit of my meatball residues in there oh god do you want to clean one darling? I don't want to use that I don't want to use that shot now this food is just I'll have a bit more I'm going to have a bit more because that looks really that looks pissy it looks rubbish yeah it does so but sweet going back to sweets if I had to have a last sweet and that's answering your question Yes.

45:19Because of the memory of my mum and her being the only one that could do it, because I asked for it. I saw it in the cookbook and said, can you make this? And she managed to make Baked Alaska in Essex in the 70s, which I don't think many kids were getting. You do that? I love Baked Alaska. That's so sweet. That's such a lovely memory. What do you think, Jessie? This is really nice, Mum. This is stunning. Is it? It's really good. Never made it before. You've never made that before? No. It's beautiful. But it looks nice, doesn't it? Where do you get the cherries from? They're frozen. Lovely. Cherries are really good for you.

45:56I put star anise in them. I'll get you. An orange. That's really good, Mum. Dad using. Thank you for being on Table Manners. You've been absolutely fascinating and such good fun. And I feel like there must be a part two in a couple of years because I just find you absolutely fascinating. Thank you. I've got to ask one thing. Do you like karaoke? Not really, but why? But which song would you like? No, we're not talking about karaoke. Oh, thank God for that. Which song would you choose? I always sing, I've got like, you know, so, Elle is for the way I look at you. Oh, you're a crooner. Okay, he's a crooner.

46:35Yeah, but we're crooner, because it's a way out, and you can vibrate your way through it. You've got a nice tenor. You've got a tenor voice. Bassy tenor. Jesse, you sounded like Michael Bublé when he said you could sing. have you had an album before Ross? no god no but I'm coming up to 60 I'm thinking about doing some music for my 60th but I don't know what I'm going to do it was all very musical Webber Douglas specialised in musicals so I really came out of drama school thinking that I was going to go into musical comedy how right was I? wow yeah you really went a different path and I think that's partly to do with the way that I looked but that was what I thought I was going to do there's always time Ross and I feel like you do anything that you set your mind to so yeah I'll wait for the the big band album for your 60th yeah I think you should duet with Kylie my wife would be happy as an Australian well thank you so much no thank you and we can't wait to watch you on the box for many many many more years oh thank you do you know what it's hard to be at a table with my wife Pleasure.

47:43Thank you. Thanks.

47:59I loved Ross Kemper. Oh, wow. I loved his stories. I loved the stories, the questions he never answered, but would give you another good story, so I kind of forgive him for it. he was so lovely he was very complimentary I was slightly shocked Mum, your food was excellent it was nice today Ross Kemp ate everything cleared the plate loved it a man of many words and stories and just really nice guy we've never had someone that's cooking their own last supper he likes to be in control I think I saw that as soon as he he opened the bottle took the corkscrew. He looked at you and thought, no, let me handle this.

48:42Wrestled the corkscrew away. Yeah, yeah. Must be all that time in the pub. Of the old Vic. Thank you so much to Ross Kemp for being such a great guest. I would have him on again and again. I'm telling you, he's coming on the Christmas special, I don't care. He may have to call him from Afghanistan or Casablanca, he's doing it. I don't care. I loved him. Me too. Thank you everyone for listening and we'll see you next week.

49:28We'll be right back.

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