An Open Letter to the Emmys with Trixie and Katya

8:42Trixie Mattel:I hate that. I hate it. I hate it too. The reason I'm not watching premium cable like you is because I'm watching like. Trash. Teenagers get apprehended at Macy's on TikTok for stealing. Like, I love that shit. Recently, I just saw this woman and the cops are, the cops have body cams. They're following her. And they do this thing where they kind of flank you on an escalator where, like, the cops are at the bottom. The cop follows you on and they're like, follow us.

9:02Katya Zamolodchikova:Entrapment.

9:03Trixie Mattel:And this bitch, you guys, I swear to God. I swear to God. And, you know, I got fired from a job for stealing. I wasn't stealing. But I have a lot of sensitivity to that moment. Excuse you. What? Excuse you. What? The Mac counter. I have to know that about you. Are you really pretending you've never heard this? audience at home tell me I have not told this story

9:26Katya Zamolodchikova:it must have been at least 14 times it must have been at least 15 times because why haven't we bonded so severely over that we have cracky okay okay okay Greg and Coco feel free to make a super cut of that story Greg and Coco Greg and Coco please

9:43Trixie Mattel:basically long story short my guest in the makeup chair said you know my gift card for Macy's probably has 15 cents left on it she said something jokingly like go get yourself a coffee I said okay I will all um i so i went to get my starbucks and i said my lady in the makeup chair gave me this it's the starbucks the starbucks macy's yes i was like it probably has 10 cents on it but she told me to put it toward my coffee it was like a dollar 10 i was like oh thanks lady whose makeup i did fired they said it's in the handbook of if you work at the makeup counter you can't use a gift card i was the top salesperson at a million dollar makeup counter i was fired for a dollar 15 cents i was

10:17Katya Zamolodchikova:devastated but i still use mac products to this day they got me they got you and also i'm sorry boo but that no matter what the dollar amount you did you did thieving you were a thief maybe i'm

10:26Trixie Mattel:like maybe i need to heal myself by accepting that that did count as thieving you do no matter

10:31Katya Zamolodchikova:it's because when it comes down to it's not semantics it's it's dollars and cents there's really at the end of the day no difference between one dollar and a dollar 25 you know what it is

10:41Trixie Mattel:it's like in ghost when that program is stealing like fractions of a penny from all those people what program that's how they get the sam wheat money oh oh oh it's like fractions of a cent

10:51Katya Zamolodchikova:Carl?

10:51Trixie Mattel:Yes, it's like fractions of a cent over time. Isn't that how they get all that money? No. Oh.

10:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay, love it. Well, that's how I decided. But, oh, but Mary, oh, Jesus. Oh, my God, what about the comeback?

11:02Trixie Mattel:She's like, I'm here for my day player. I'm Lana. She goes, Lana, I only have fitness instructors. That's the name I gave her.

11:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Love that. When she's leaving and the ambulance is behind her and they're just like, there's so many things about that show. And it's, I know we talked about it before.

11:17Trixie Mattel:character a name and then telling the person when you check in that character's name they don't know sorry that's acting that is how people are yeah she's i don't know if you ever took an acting class that's the type of shit they tell you to do yeah it's like you come into class and like they stop the monologue like hold on for a second what happened to her on february 20th birthday

11:38Katya Zamolodchikova:you haven't thought about that which actually transpired on february 27 1993 yeah between her and Barbara. We don't know who Barbara is. Get out of here.

11:46Trixie Mattel:But it's a good callback to season one because when she's doing Ruben Bored, she's like, so Aunt Sassy, am I her dad's sister or her mom's sister? And they're like, it doesn't matter. But it does matter. And she's like, it does matter. How about it's the brother and that way we have a better guest star later. Sorry, she is thinking about it. She is. She's thinking. She's thinking, Jane. Peppa Pigs. What are these? Percy Pigs? Peppa the Pigs. These are delicious. They're vegan. I don't know where they came from. Vegan? They make them in the UK. They're vegan. What are they made out of? Horset radish?

12:12Trixie Mattel:They're delicious. bit off. Excuse you. Oh. Almost too sweet. Not bad, right? Yeah, I should stop. I'm such a pig. Oh my God. It's almost, yeah. I've been having a lot of food problems.

12:29Katya Zamolodchikova:It's almost a little too sweet. It's almost a little too rich.

12:32Trixie Mattel:They got me a bunch of new arthritis medicine and it's, my appetite's out the window. It's been harrowing.

12:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Through the roof or out the window?

12:39Trixie Mattel:Gone.

12:40Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, so gone, okay.

12:41Trixie Mattel:I wake up, choke down a smoothie, with a nauseous feeling. My arthritis has gotten so much better, but I'm nauseous all the time.

12:51Katya Zamolodchikova:You know, God giveth and God taketh away.

12:54Trixie Mattel:Yep. Up last night puking, middle of the night. Love it. Oh, I forgot to talk about Kelly. Kelly Mantle's pod where she shoots in this room. She had Lady Bunny on and she goes, I'm going to read some names and I want you to do word association.

13:05Katya Zamolodchikova:Can you play it? Yeah. Can you play it? Because it's really funny. It's really funny. Control room. We don't have one. Yeah. Oh my God. I can't believe you didn't tell me I had this fake nail on.

13:14Trixie Mattel:Kelly's pod and actually laughed. You know what I mean? Paola. Paola Jackson. Oh, my God. They had her come out at the Queerty's. She came on stage. Who? Kelly. She was scripted to come out, but she's so believable that the audience was like, oh. Kelly, like, wandered out from the corner of the stage. The audience was like, it was like a Courtney Love, like, in the moment. And I just turned to her and I go, a haunting. Okay, ready? Respect her.

13:40Katya Zamolodchikova:Dina Martino. Suicide.

13:46Katya Zamolodchikova:Tammy Brown 9-11

13:52Trixie Mattel:She is so sick

13:56Katya Zamolodchikova:Bianca Del Rio

14:02Katya Zamolodchikova:It's so fierce It's so fierce I love her I don't

14:07Trixie Mattel:I don't And her look has never inspired me At any stage of my life

14:11Katya Zamolodchikova:No, gosh, no No, in anything, it's repelled you further and further away.

14:14Trixie Mattel:I've been trying to find this DVD of hers because I'm like an old school LadyBuddy fan. Oh, I know which one you're talking about. Yes, I can't say it on the pod. Can't say it on the pod. It's rated X for extra something. You know what? Can't even find it on eBay.

14:25Katya Zamolodchikova:No, rated R for, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:26Trixie Mattel:And I don't have a DVD player, so I really have no plan.

14:28Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, you had, I got both. I got a whole bunch of DVDs at home. All I'm missing is the Blu-ray player. All that's standing in the way of me enjoying these DVDs. No, they're Blu-rays. Okay, so you don't have any DVDs at home. I got Blu-ray DVDs. Okay, good. All that's standing in the way of me and some enjoyment of these discs is the goddamn player. Your pimple healed pretty fast. It's not healing. It's still there. Thank you very much.

14:53Trixie Mattel:It looks way better than you. You had a full wig on acting like there was a crater under there.

14:57Katya Zamolodchikova:It was Mama. It was the beginnings of Mount Vesuvius. It was Mount St. Helen's daughter just emerging from the primordial ooze. It was flagrant. It was abusive. I had to stay home. I had to do cold and hot compresses. I had to do steam, eucalyptus, mentholatum, benzoyl peroxide. Eucalyptus pussy. I didn't do any of that. I got to tell you what happened to me. But wait, I'm not done with my story. Okay. I forget what you were asking. You always say that and then there is nothing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You just don't give me enough time to really formulate my opinion.

15:25Trixie Mattel:Okay. Clam me again. I know. I always feel like I'm talking to you in kindergarten with you where I'm like, is this a question or a story? Why can't it be? The hand is up. And I'm like, does anybody know the answer? And you go, my mom drives a blue car. like it's like some shit like that but I'm like my mom

15:39Katya Zamolodchikova:drives a blue car right no no it's always like

15:46Trixie Mattel:I need to stop everything and tell you I had a great night's sleep last night

15:51Katya Zamolodchikova:any elaboration any relevance to what we were talking about not really not really in the car on the way here my god it got like a J-Lo second act flash J-Lo second act flash because what I was going to do, what I wanted to do after high school, one of the two things I wanted to do was either become a French teacher, but I knew at the time, because I was so gay, that I would not be able to summon or embody the authoritative armor necessary to fend off a bunch of fucking youngsters, high schoolers. Now? Maybe now? Fermi la bouche! Ase vous! No, no, no, yeah.

16:38Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, that I could do. I'd put on one of these nails, do my cocaine, just kidding. And then I would let him have it. But I was thinking, you know what? 22, 23, 24, 28. No, 40 plus. That's what you, the age you need, the distance and the authoritative. You just need that age difference, that kind of like in that life experience to be able to walk into a room of rotted, gutted high schoolers, you know, screaming six plus seven on Snapchat or whatever, and then tell them to shut the fuck up, sit down and open page 83.

17:13Trixie Mattel:I watched a TikTok about this phenomenon that I don't know if it's true, but they're saying that - If it's on TikTok, it's true. Like perhaps female teachers are sometimes very nice to the male athletes in the high school and then come down really hard on the girls. many young women feel singled out by their female teachers and they feel like the teachers give extra help or extra consideration to the athletes. I'm just watching TikToks. Okay, and that's where I get my news. Other than the 16 hours of news a day that I watch. Speaking of, Savannah Guthrie's coming back to work. They still haven't found her mother.

17:49Katya Zamolodchikova:You know where her mother is? Her mother is breast pumping Pam Bondi.

17:53Trixie Mattel:That is awful.

17:54Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm sorry. I don't know who that Savannah Guthrie is.

17:56Trixie Mattel:Savannah Guthrie, she's a journalist. She's a television. They took her mom. Yes, her mother was kidnapped. By whom? Like months ago. And they don't know and they can't find her. And Savannah's been talking about it very openly. This is not a joke. I watch a lot of news. It's awful. And let me tell you, if anybody out there is into stealing mothers, I will give you Val's home address. And Ruth Paul's. Like, let's. Call me mother. Snatched. It's awful. I think that in the world of crime and political warfare, we don't have to steal people's moms. I think that's pretty wild.

18:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. It's also, yeah. It's sad. Yeah. It's also, I think it's directly. Would Pat go easily? Mama, are you joking? Baby, let me tell you about Miss Pat, Patricia Ann, McCook, N.A. Morin. She is such a fast walker. You cannot. Mama, you. She's so short, though. Baby, don't matter. She leaves everybody in the dust. When we're on a group trip in a car, she doesn't wait till my, if my dad's driving usually. She doesn't wait until he slows down or stops. Opens the door, tuck rolls, and she's on her way. You cannot catch her. The elusive Chantous. You're the youngest, right? I'm the middle. You're the middle.

19:06Katya Zamolodchikova:Just like you. Your sister's youngest. Yeah. And your brother's oldest. Interesting. Yeah, but you can't catch her. You cannot catch her. And what's your sister's name again? Shannon. Who would play her? Shannon Grace. Kirsten Dunst. You guys would all play each other. No, no, no, no. You guys have two genes. You all look so alike. Kirsten Dunst would play my sister. You look so much like your brother.

19:28Trixie Mattel:I do. The face. Without the beard? It was like him with the, you with the dark beard. Oh.

19:33Katya Zamolodchikova:And he's got a full head of hair. He's got the McCook side. Yeah. Are you the only blonde? Your sister's kind of blonde, right? No, my sister's brown. Okay. My sister's brown. But I'll never forget it. I wish we could pull up a picture. I'll find it. She had a George Washington haircut when she was little. She got a perm. She was the spitting image of our first president. That's fierce. It was like, you know, that much, like kind of like, you know what I'm talking about you've seen the one dollar bill oh I've seen one I've been doing drag long enough yeah that was my sister yeah

19:59Trixie Mattel:cunt she was such a bitch that I do in drag and people think this is gross when people tip me a dollar I'll lick it stick it in the forehead ooh the audience goes wild I love that but everybody's like money's gross don't lick the money I think that's classist thank you you don't know my experience

20:13Katya Zamolodchikova:you don't know also I would I would go even worse I would crumple it up put it in my mouth and then I would I would spit it up into the air and get and catch it yeah and swallow it

20:21Trixie Mattel:there was a drag artist called Sharon Needles and I watched her she used to take people's money and put it in a blender and then she would take pages of the bible and put it in a blender

20:33Katya Zamolodchikova:well I have no problem with that

20:35Trixie Mattel:shredding money you would call the police

20:37Katya Zamolodchikova:I would call the police

20:37Trixie Mattel:Pam Bondi get down here

20:39Katya Zamolodchikova:Pam Bondi get down here

20:48Katya Zamolodchikova:a new dawn rises in Gilead From the executive producers of The Handmaid's Tale comes The Testaments, a new Hulu original series based on the novel by Margaret Atwood. Golden Globe nominee Chase Infinity plays the dutiful teen Agnes, who guides newcomer Daisy through the halls of Aunt Lydia's elite preparatory school for future wives, where obedience is instilled brutally.

21:08Trixie Mattel:With no connection to the outside world, the daughters of Gilead's commanders start to challenge authority, seek independence, and explore their identity. This is just the beginning of their reckoning.

21:16Katya Zamolodchikova:The series explores friendship, empowerment, and resilience, and what coming of age means for young women in a society that affords them no rights. Agnes and Daisy's bond becomes the catalyst that will upend their past, present, and future. Raised to obey, but destined to defy. There's nothing more powerful than a teenage girl.

21:34Trixie Mattel:Watch the new Hulu original series, The Testaments, premiering April 8th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

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23:41Trixie Mattel:Do you think that Christy Nome is still going to be on the TVs at the airport? Is it going to be over now? Because she's donezo? No, she's probably going to be on. Because normally you walk in, it's 6 a.m. at LAX. You get the bone collector being like, if you see something, say something. Bitch, I see something. I'm seeing it now. I see a lot of things. She comes on the screen and I literally, a phone rings and it goes, seven days. I see your tracks. I see your what about the old pictures of her

24:04Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't you know I haven't I have to say I haven't seen bring it up Trace bring it up I have also bring up my George Washington haircut from my sister google her sister's

24:12Trixie Mattel:George Washington haircut from 1982 thank you

24:15Katya Zamolodchikova:1987 god oh yeah your baby sister no I have had I have had the pleasure of avoiding all videography of Christine Nome at the airport that's great huge if true it is true

24:30Trixie Mattel:that's old Christine Nome can you see that

24:31Katya Zamolodchikova:John and Kate Placide hairdo? Isn't that fierce? It is. Well, no. Looking like a library admin at a middle school. Speaking of which, let's go back to my point. Okay. Second act, J-Lo. I would go back to school because ridiculously, if you want to teach high school or even middle school, if you want to teach like sixth, seventh grade, you need a master's degree in what you're teaching. Even though - It's pretty amazing. It is pretty amazing. It's pretty ridiculous if you ask me, depending on whatever. But to teach - How are you going to pay off that master's degree as a teacher? Well, see, you don't.

25:03That's why I used my first job to pay for my schooling for my second job, which is really just, it's not a cash grab, obviously, because you probably make about, I don't know, 40 grand a year.

25:13Katya Zamolodchikova:Where you live, the cost of living is about 125 grand a year. You know what I mean?

25:18Trixie Mattel:Well, I know a lot of teachers who only teach at private schools because they get a huge rebate for their own children going to that school. So even though you may not get paid a crazy amount of money as a teacher, if you get half off tuition, you have three kids. Are you talking about a university? No, I'm talking like the fancy private middle schools and shit. If you teach there, your children could go for cheaper. Choke rosemary.

25:42Katya Zamolodchikova:My friend Megan back then, this was in the 90s. she went to St. Mark's which was in Massachusetts to the tune of 20 grand a year high school now in the 90s now 1.6 million dollars absolutely well she was and she got to you know I've told the story before I got to drive her dad's BMW was thrilling and um the death ride well no that was what yeah well that was that was that was something different not me remembering a story

26:09Trixie Mattel:but uh she I started the hydroxychloroquine and now my memory is just I'm on it Well, let's get it.

26:14Katya Zamolodchikova:Now I'm just going to poke you with the melaton. I've been like, what is that? A wind chime? A breast pump? Okay, James. Oh, the fuck was that? I just hit the lamp with my head. Oh, God.

26:28Trixie Mattel:Oh. I took, Jennifer took me to see a play. Jennifer took me on a date. That's great. Jennifer took me to the Broad.

26:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, not the Broad. The Broad. Is it called the Broad? Well, in Massachusetts, Boston, Cambridge, it's called the Broad. It might be called the Broad here. It's the Broad. Yeah, it's the Broad. I love that.

26:47Trixie Mattel:Okay. Went to the Broad Institute. Yes. Giant tables and chairs. I don't know about visual art. Yes, you do. I walked in and was like, that table's big and left. Like, that was it. Wait, can you give me a little more? The artist does giant tables, chairs. Giant, giant, like standing underneath the kitchen table.

27:05Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, sculpture? Sculpture? I mean, yeah.

27:07Trixie Mattel:Installations? It's a nice size. I went through the whole thing in 15 minutes, the whole art museum. I mean, I power walked through it. I was like, love it, love it, love it, love it, hate it, hate it. Yeah, camera phone, camera phone, camera phone. They got those little things to read, but I have hobbies. I had to go, right? I'll make up what I think about it. Don't tell me what I think about it.

27:25Katya Zamolodchikova:Thank you.

27:26Trixie Mattel:Oh, I'm so nauseous. Okay. And so then we leave and Jennifer takes me to dinner. I go, great, perfect. Tries to bug me. But then she takes me to see Here Lies Love. Follow me here. Here Lies Love, not Love Lies Bleeding. No. It was What Lies Beneath with Michelle Pfeiffer. No, she takes me to see Here Lies Love, which is a musical play about the Marcos regime and the rise of Imelda Marcos, the first lady of the Philippines. With the shoes. Who ushered in the Marcos regime, which ultimately is like banning free press, curfews. That's just a kind of thing. And the family is like widely known to have basically bled the country's money into their own bank accounts and has never truly answered for it.

28:11Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

28:12Trixie Mattel:set that to a disco musical it's a disco EDM musical with a drag queen Manila? No it was a girl from Drag Race Google to that I don't know who it is I mean

28:24Katya Zamolodchikova:Manila famously did her in a snatch game

28:26Trixie Mattel:yes that's how I knew who she was so I sit down with Jennifer and Jennifer goes I want you to go in blind to go great so I Google it immediately because I'm like Jennifer get real I go Jennifer is this the Imelda Marcos musical and she goes nope nope nope just watch and it was I'd never seen anything like it I'm really beautiful I mean I've seen a lot of musicals and you know when I was in school we used to learn about every type of musical I'd never seen like an EDM like dance music musical the music is produced by Fatboy Slim who I love and so it's a lot of sounds like Fatboy Slim music it's about Imelda Marcos being from a small town being really pretty and hot and then she gets turned down by this guy for being too tall she's depressed she goes to the city she moves to Manila and then I'm not spoiling it because this is historical events sure then she marries this guy who becomes the president um i forget his first name's fernando marcos okay they are fabulously wealthy bleed the country of money very country systems are you the philippines the philippines i've never been manila you've been right i've been i've been twice oh or a mayari was the queen and the drag queen role actually was awesome because the drag queen was dressed as amelda she opened the show and kind of was like we're going to tell this cool story then there's moments where Imelda's kind of like reflecting and the drag queen is there with her and she's like a point of like for Imelda to kind of like notice her where she is they use the drag queen as a way for like Imelda's nanny to be like to not recognize her anymore because she's so blown out on money and like being powerful yeah I just would have never a disco ball a disco ball the size of this room while they're singing about like the collapse of the Philippines, like, do you think it was, not that the Philippines collapsed,

30:07Katya Zamolodchikova:but it was so fascistic. Do you think it was like, not Craven, do you think it was, what's the word, vulgar or like insensitive or something?

30:17Trixie Mattel:Do you remember that moment in cabaret when the Nazis have invaded and you have like Sally Bowles singing Life is a Cabaret with the Nazi gear on? And you have the juxtaposition of like, well, somebody putting their head in the sand and partying while it's so awful. There's irony. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's dramatic irony. So the disco ball and like Imelda doing poppers with drag queens and stuff.

30:39Katya Zamolodchikova:So there was a dissonance that was intentional.

30:40Trixie Mattel:Yes. And then they cut to like the news and it's a, you know, activist being like, we need to take these people down. And I went home and watched the documentary about Imelda Marcos. Eventually the whole country came for them in the palace. They flew them out of the country and they moved to Hawaii because the country is like, we're coming into this palace and we're going to eat you. They January 6th, their palace. They're in there fucking with her shoes, sitting at her desk, being like, and what, bitch? Yeah. And guess who is the president of the Philippines right now? Pam Bondi. No. Her son, Fernando Bongbong Marcos, is the president of the Philippines.

31:17Trixie Mattel:And so it was chilling because we're in a second Trump presidency. And it's like sort of what I got from it. And listen, I've never been to the Philippines. Shout out to the Philippines. I would love to go. Mary, I'll let you finish your thought before. The musical portrays the country as obviously so beautiful and cool. The internal corrupt financial political warfare is so shocking.

31:39Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

31:40Trixie Mattel:And the disco and the glitz of it made it even more like so sickening and absurd. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would say in that sense it was really effective. And it was, I just like to leave a musical a little happy. And that was like Cabaret where you leave and you're like, so should we go lay down?

31:53Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. I mean, that's why I prefer the Bob Fosse film version of Cabaret to any stage production. Have you seen Hair?

32:01Trixie Mattel:No. I have not. The musical Hair.

32:03Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

32:04Trixie Mattel:You don't leave super happy. You leave reflecting and you feel empowered. This left me definitely feeling like, oh my God, America is. We're watching some parallels here.

32:16Katya Zamolodchikova:We're living it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

32:17Trixie Mattel:And now more than ever.

32:19Katya Zamolodchikova:Now more than ever. When I went to the Philippines, we went to Manila, And I distinctly recall flying in there over like sort of shantytown-ish looking neighborhoods, like reminiscent of somehow reminiscent of like the favelas in Brazil, like not so so like downtrodden. But it was a lot of incoming inequality, let's just say, like a lot of glaring income inequality. We get to our hotel. There's armed guards with machine guns everywhere. and the it was a lot it was very different yes very very different the crowd i gotta say mary the crowd was i did my little dookie show and they were so so supportive it was like crazy it was so fierce it was so hot the filipino drag queens watching you do your dog show my dog show i was like barked and barked woof woof woofed and they were just hooped and hollered while i sweated my entire body weight off.

33:17Katya Zamolodchikova:It was so hot there.

33:18Trixie Mattel:Girl, you know what I just came across? That clip from the live Baltimore, the beautiful in Norway. I was in Boston at Jacques and I said, we've got to use to work here with you hot, gorgeous trans girls. And they said, yeah, estrogen hadn't hit Boston yet. Baby,

33:33Katya Zamolodchikova:because I'm telling you once these... I don't mean to be ignorant.

33:37Trixie Mattel:I just want people to know I went home, did a bunch of research on the Philippines, watched that documentary. And sold all your shoes. I mean, the Philippines is fucking cool, but learning about like the deep corruption that is active was so...

33:49Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, the world is a horrible place. It's a horrible place. People are rotten, everything sucks, and we're all going to hell.

33:56Trixie Mattel:Something they said in the documentary is the Marcos regime was so destructive. Thousands of people were killed and stuff. Something they said in the documentary was the school systems haven't even been able to update their textbooks. So young kids are reading history textbooks that say how great the Marcos regime is. So these young people are like, let's vote for, it's just, yeah.

34:22Katya Zamolodchikova:Sounds a little,

34:22Trixie Mattel:where does that sound familiar? But I hope to go to the Philippines someday. Yeah, you will. I've never been to Asia. I've never been to Asia. Okay, we heard you.

34:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Just calm down. Everybody's been to Asia. Calm down, calm down. Take a deep breath. Everybody take a look to your left.

34:34Trixie Mattel:Take a deep breath. 100 % of those people have been to Asia.

34:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Hong Kong is so lit. So expensive. So turned to go. Chi Chi DeVay would be like, girl, I go to Hong Kong three times a year. Yeah. What's wrong with you? No kidding. Well, I suggest, I just want to put this out there. I would love to return to Hong Kong. I'd love to go back to Singapore. Although, the weather's a little challenging. It's about 85 degrees all year round. Oh, God. With 100 % humidity. Okay, I don't know if I can go to the Philippines now.

35:00Trixie Mattel:At least not in drag. That's Singapore. Okay.

35:02Katya Zamolodchikova:But baby, I'm not joking. So when I got, and I'm going to tell you, because Singapore had a, basically if you got caught with drugs, they'd kill you. Okay. That's tea. Singapore has a very fierce no drug policy. So she was stone cold sober when she was there. Like down. Damn. And diva down. We got to move you to Singapore. Yeah. But so the point is I'm there. I'll kill you here if that helps. I'm there. Not a goofball in sight. You know. Eating what? Eating M &M's? Yeah. Eating Skittles? Yes. You know what I mean? Red Bull? Yes. I remember it was in Singapore when the episode three of the last season of Game of Thrones dropped.

35:41Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm circling my laptop like a freak. because I'm just on edge. And because I couldn't go outside for not even a minute to smoke a cigarette. Because it was too hot. Baby doll. It was so hot and humid. And my friend Eugene - They probably have great skin though. That humidity is good for the skin. Mama. Moisture. Yeah. It was like everybody's glistening, going not a beat of sweat on those native residents, including my friend Eugene, who is fiercely and famously over 300 pounds. Fierce. Yeah.

36:08Trixie Mattel:Who's the drag queen's name is Ani Ari? Or Am I Ari? She ate. the voice, the look, she was so good. And having a drag queen dressed as Imelda, introducing it almost like we're going to have a really celebratory, fun disco show. The bait and switch was so effective. When by the end of it, you're just like, I mean, that ends with this activist, like toward the end, getting shot on stage and a shooting in a play always like when I saw Abraham Lincoln, it's just, it's very Abraham. Well, it's different than Oh, Mary's shooting on stage was just hilarious. Very different. Actually, I thought that was very disturbing.

36:45Trixie Mattel:Oh, okay. Wait, wait, wait. But I just wanted to say, she was so good and so great. And I don't want to stereotype, but they make this joke in the beginning about, like, what do all Filipinos love? Karaoke. It's an all Filipino cast. Some of the best live singing I've ever heard in my fucking life. Oh, really? Unbelievable. Like, you would have swore, because it's EDM, you would have swore their lip syncing. It was like a drag show, but it was like, no, they're singing. Some of the best singing. And the male leads, the two male leads. hot.

37:14Katya Zamolodchikova:Hot, sexy. Very hot. Well, thank God because I don't go to the theater to watch a bunch of dogs. Thank you. I don't know what a bunch of dogs like trotting around, barking.

37:22Trixie Mattel:I saw this TikTok and there was this girl being like, this girl being like, Hollywood needs to stop putting attractive people on screen and they need to stop like getting like Timothee Chalamet in the makeup chair to add acne and then call them ugly on screen. Damn. She was like, I have acne. Hire me. I wear glasses. Yeah. I can't take them off. I'm not saying I need more ugly people, but I don't long for hotness on screen. I don't care. I don't care.

37:46Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, that is where you and I differ, young lady, because I don't go to the movies to watch Miss Dog from down the street because I can just walk down the street and see her.

37:53Trixie Mattel:Beauty is subjective. That's true. So what are you going to do? Hope every movie caters to your idea of beauty? They do. Just like a white man? No, I got plenty of ideas. Tracy, just like a white man. Exactly. Silence white men voices.

38:03Katya Zamolodchikova:I got plenty of ideas of beauty.

38:10Katya Zamolodchikova:This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Let me tell you a little story about a drag queen in her 20s. For this exceedingly gorgeous human being, money felt less like a tool and more like a possum wearing a fedora driving your car into a shopping mall in Danvers. Hypothetically, if this preternaturally beautiful drag queen with a dream and the financial instincts of a cursed child spent most of her rent money on rhinestones, fissionet stockings, and several dresses from a thrift store named Regret, it's highly likely that person would lie awake at 4 in the morning thinking, wow, I'm not just bad with money, I'm a financial ruin as performance heart.

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39:09Katya Zamolodchikova:It's convenient, supportive, and people love it for a reason. I truly believe that therapy can really help. And with BetterHelp, it's so much easier. They do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and our 12-plus years of experience in industry-leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, Switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored recs. When life feels overwhelming, therapy can help. Sign up and get 10 % off at betterhelp.com slash bald.

39:40Katya Zamolodchikova:That's betterhelp.com slash bald. April is a dangerous time for me because the second the weather gets even a little flirtatious, I start behaving like a woman of a certain age who has simply had enough. Suddenly, I need a spring trip. A trip where I need soft pants, dark sunglasses, and a destination where I can walk around at golden hour pretending I have secrets. That is the power of April. It thaws the pavement, reawakens my allergies, and fills me with the completely irrational confidence of someone who thinks a weekend away will fix everything. So this spring, I'm planning a trip to Savannah, where I found a home on Airbnb that is draped in both moss and charm.

40:21Katya Zamolodchikova:I want cobblestone little squares. I want to drift around in the spring sunshine like an ant who's on an eat-pray-love trip that includes grits and barbecue. you. I want to do some light strolling and maybe buy an impossibly impractical piece of jewelry in a local boutique. And at night, I want to sit down to a dinner that is so good, it makes me briefly forget pretty much everything. This is the kind of trip where you need a place that matches a fantasy. That's why I love booking stays on Airbnb, because when I travel, I do not want to be crammed into a hotel room with a view of a parking lot.

40:51Katya Zamolodchikova:I want a real place to stay. I want a living room where I can decompress after a long day of wandering around and judging southern architecture. I want a kitchen for snacks, a table for my frosty beverages, and enough space to dramatically collapse on the floor like Julia Robertson's something to talk about. And if I'm traveling with friends, it's even better, because then we can all stay together instead of scattered down different hallways in a hotel. And of course, once I start planning one trip, my brain immediately escalates. Suddenly, I'm looking at Carmel next, then Malta, then Hokkaido Island.

41:25Katya Zamolodchikova:A little ocean air, some seafood, and maybe even a long walk where I pretend I'm processing something deep when really I'm just thinking about Russian pop music. Whether it's one quick spring reset or the beginning of a full, warm weather spiral, trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb.

41:41Trixie Mattel:K-pop Demon Hunters, Haja Boy's Breakfast Meal, and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at

41:45Katya Zamolodchikova:McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. Participate in McDonald's while supplies last.

42:11Trixie Mattel:If you can see it, it was very effective. I would love to go see it, but I would love to see it. Very little talking. almost all singing. Okay, now I'm not going to go. But EDM. No, no. Early dog music? Apparently, I looked it up in the New York rendition of it. There was a standing room pit. Like the show was like a party. So it's a party time. But then it gets so political and so effective. You leave very rattled. I left rattled. You know what I think?

42:32Katya Zamolodchikova:Very rattled. I would love to go. I would also love for you and I to go to London to do a show only so that we can see Catherine Tate in O'Mary. Mary. O'Mary. O'Mary, yeah. Whale Kathleen. Whale Rosemary. Will you be marching on Sunday with us, Rosemary? I will show the bastards. She is going to fucking, she's going to beat that bitch with a bat. I'm talking about the role. You could play O'Mary. I could never. Can I say this? I could never. Everybody shut up. Everybody don't listen. I could never.

43:01Trixie Mattel:But you're not saying it. I'm saying it. Okay. You don't think that you could play an active addict who has a flair for performing in a bad wig?

43:10Katya Zamolodchikova:I could do it once and I would have the time. You would need six years to memorize. Yeah, as long as I had six years. I need Cole to call it and go, you can't do it. In Jillian Michaels boot camp. And then I would. What if you play her and I could play the teacher? Mary. Wouldn't that be fun? It would be the one thing I wouldn't have to get past is calling everybody Mary. Right. Although you are Mary.

43:31Trixie Mattel:My favorite part is when she's puking in the bucket.

43:34Katya Zamolodchikova:That's what I was going to say. That's my favorite part too. And she drinks it. Yeah. And then drinks it. I. I. Yeah. So I. It's just funny. I was thinking about that the other day and I had a dream that I was like up for casting and I was up against like me. It was like me, Michelle Pfeiffer and Sharon Stone and all these other gorgeous blonde actresses like me. And we were all concerned with the brown wig. That was our number one concern. It was like, yes, I can do the role. I can do the role. Of course, we all can do the role. We're all talented actresses, seasoned actresses, award winning.

44:03Katya Zamolodchikova:But we just don't want to do the brown wig. So we all left. Isn't that funny? I don't disagree.

44:08Trixie Mattel:It's a horribly ugly wig. Whenever I get on something, like when I did English teacher and they're like, your characters, what was my character's name? Shazam. And mommy, I was like, have you guys said anything about the look? What about a blonde wig? And what about exactly my normal makeup? Okay, great. Perfect. Yeah. It's like, they're like, oh, she's an old show girl. She's like a, she's like a drag queen who's been around the block. I was like, okay, but I've seen those girls. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

44:30Katya Zamolodchikova:You don't want me to do that. Cole is, Cole is Cole's face. They can do. I mean, so beautiful. Yeah. We've talked about this. We will continue to talk about this. I will continue to grind this axe until my last bitter breath is wheezed from my body. They have a face that is so perfect for any type of wig.

44:48Trixie Mattel:Yeah.

44:49Katya Zamolodchikova:It's true. And a demi-brown lash.

44:52Trixie Mattel:Yeah.

44:52Katya Zamolodchikova:Just a smear of chapstick. Maybe a dot of blush. And a twinkle in their eye. And it's a woman. They were in David Silver's movie.

45:03Trixie Mattel:Please, baby, please. Please, baby, please. And even in that, they had them in kind of campy club shit. Still eight. Oh, yeah. They're singing in like a phone booth and it's all beautifully lit. That was The Grabber 2. Yeah. They were in The Grabber.

45:19Katya Zamolodchikova:The ghost of the grabber.

45:21Trixie Mattel:Black phone? Yeah, yeah. 2? Horrible. Grabber on ice. The Christian propaganda? Ghost on ice. Well, if you don't want The Grabber's ghost to get you, you need to embrace Jesus Christ. That was such a bait and switch. If like the Gladys origin story comes out and it's really just about embracing God, I'll lose it. I'll lose it. And you know what else? I'm so happy for Amy Madigan, of course. why can't we why was it outside the realm of possibility for Toni Collette and Hereditary to receive a professional accolade in that way no no right I'm not taking away from Amy Madigan but don't you think that's going to open the door in the future I want it because I have a lot of retroactive I have like vanguard female Oscars that I need to give out starting with Neve Campbell and then over to Toni Collette and Hereditary then to Demi Moore in Charlie's Angels.

46:09Trixie Mattel:Charlie's Angels 2. Yes. Thank you. I love that scene where she's like, I wasn't good. I was great. And shoots the speaker with the body. Her entrance on the beach in that movie. She eats in Please Baby Please too. She has this long monologue. It's really cool. She has this wig with... If anybody hasn't seen Please Baby Please, artsy film. Everybody.

46:27Katya Zamolodchikova:Wacky, artsy film, but very good. I would love to see it. I would love to see it. So back to my second act, J-Lo. I always wanted to be a French teacher. But I knew, and I knew, and I know, and I was right, that if I, like many teachers out of, so you go to college, maybe you do two years of master's at grad school, and then you go try to do your teacher's internship, whatever. Oh, yeah, because it's grad school and some kind of teaching certification, right? A teaching certification, and then there's like student teaching. Did you know to be a sub, you'll need an undergrad? I'm sure you need a PhD in several subjects now.

47:02Trixie Mattel:We should do that show Celebrity Substitute.

47:04Katya Zamolodchikova:Joe Celebrity Substitute?

47:05Trixie Mattel:No, there's a TV show called Celebrity Substitute where they have like Ed Sheeran go be a substitute teacher.

47:09Katya Zamolodchikova:You and I could do it. We could. You could. You could. I'm not famous enough. And I'm so poor. They would say, get out of here. It's not that you aren't famous enough. You're not famous at all. But I am. And I can help you. Thank you. That's my problem. Okay. No, I would want to be like Viola Swamp if I was a sub. But what I really would love is like, I mean. In the O'Merry wig. Backwards. I want the buns to be like here and here. No. So at 28, I could not have been a teacher. I could not have had someone the confidence or build up the wall to tell kids to shut the fuck up and sit down, you motherfucker.

47:45Katya Zamolodchikova:I know you can't swear like that, but that's the energy and that's the authoritative tone you need to get them to sit down. And stop saying six plus seven, TikTok, Snapchat. Si, si, si. Si plus si, ti, quoi? Yeah. But now I think I'd rather teach Russian. But, okay. Okay. Okay. So, um, can I, will you please indulge me in a very small exercise? Yeah, no, that's good. I'm nauseous. I don't want to talk. Okay, great. So it's a, it's a repeat after me. Um, I was looking up, so you know how a lot of people like scroll at night, they look through porn or whatever on the phone in the toilet. Yeah. I look, I've been looking at old church Slavonic script, which is like, um, the, the, the precursor to the Cyrillic alphabet.

48:27Katya Zamolodchikova:It was like derived from Greek and it was like with the, um, with the old monks and the Orthodox. They transcribed the Bible and shit. So cunty. So squiggly. So lovely. But I thought I could, I want to just do a call and response of the Russian alphabet with you just to practice and see if I could be a... Try a king name. Russian alphabet? Call and response. Call and response. It just came to me. Anybody can have that. That's great. Take it. Take it, you bitch. Somebody's going to comment, I actually named that. Well, I didn't know. Well, Sierra Mist. Sorry. 2015. Pull up the tweet.

49:03Trixie Mattel:Sierra Mist.

49:04Katya Zamolodchikova:No, I said it, and now there is one. I thought of RuPaul.

49:08Trixie Mattel:I got to show you this. While you look that up, I got to show you this drag king that I'm obsessed with. Okay. The drag king's name is Milkman. Milkman. You been fucking the Milkman. Girl, when I show you this, Milkman.

49:24Katya Zamolodchikova:Now that's a high school teacher. Okay. That's what you need. Can you believe? I, that's fierce. Look at this. Look at this.

49:41Katya Zamolodchikova:That's the kind of, that's the kind of energy you need to teach those kids.

49:44Trixie Mattel:That's the kind of energy I need for my drag Kings.

49:46Katya Zamolodchikova:Married, married. That's T.

49:48Trixie Mattel:I want, that's weird. Look at like, look at the makeup.

49:51Katya Zamolodchikova:They're using Pam Bondi's breast pump, but that's, that's really great. Zoom in on cam B, whatever my cam is.

49:57Trixie Mattel:Look at this. I'm sorry

49:58Katya Zamolodchikova:that's fierce that's actually that's incredibly fierce if this thing walked into precinct

50:02Trixie Mattel:yeah it would be curtains for everybody I would become one of those like those drunk straight girls who just wanders on stage and starts dancing what's with that well

50:09Katya Zamolodchikova:I don't want to stereotype no it's their day I don't want to say it's drunk straight girls oh cause it's their but if we're talking bachelorette parties it's their day didn't you know that it's their night it's their night and you are all victims of their joy I want to

50:19Trixie Mattel:I want to retract my statement okay what's with people getting on stage at a drag show okay yeah

50:25Katya Zamolodchikova:well they want to be the star they say they look at you isn't good, but don't get up there. No, don't get up there and try to, it's not your time. There's an order to things. There's a process. There's a process. Okay, so repeat after me. This is the Russian alphabet. A. B. B. V. V. G. G. D. V. Yeah. Yo. Yo. Je. Z. Z. Z. E. E. E. K. K. L. M. I'm trying. No, no, you're just going, I'm trying. I'm trying. L. L. M. M. N. N. O. O. P.

51:02Trixie Mattel:P. R. R. S. S. P. P. U. V. P. H. C. I'm fucking trying. I'm fucking trying. I've never heard these before. I've never heard these before.

51:17Katya Zamolodchikova:I'm really trying. It's fierce. I love it. Okay. C. C. C. It's C. C. C. C. C. Like pizza. C.

51:31Trixie Mattel:I'm trying.

51:33Katya Zamolodchikova:Cha. Cha. Sh. Sh. Those are the letters? Yeah. So, these are the sh. Sh. And sh. Sh. Okay. And then, ui. Ui. And then, e. Uh. U. U. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that fun? Hard. So, it's weird. So, if I'm in my car and I'm talking to that bullshit fucking bitch Siri. And, um. Because I, you know what? I don't like to like fumble with the phone while I drive. You're very responsible driver. Eyes on the road smoking cigarettes. And then - You smoke in the car now? Well, no, I'm telling you, while I have been, listen, full disclosure, I'm not a liar. I try not to lie. That's a lie. I have been smoking a little bit, as you can attest to.

52:12Katya Zamolodchikova:Can you smell my shitty body? I smoke a lot less, that's for sure. I mean, a lot, lot less. And the ex-program never hired me to quit, and that was the condition of our arrangement. They're realistic. They know I'm going to lie and cheat and be a bitch or whatever. But I went from 25 to 30 cigarettes a day down to sometimes zero, sometimes 10. But in the car, I have a hard time giving it up.

52:40Trixie Mattel:A lot of people have told me that before. The driving smoking is a big thing for people.

52:44Katya Zamolodchikova:What do you think that is? I used to find it fucking repulsive because smoking, as a person who used to smoke. Oh, baby. you have to stop baby the car's gonna smell but get into this and you give me rides sometimes mama I don't give anybody I give listen I used to smoke in my house in my apartment and I was not aware of the fact of how nasty the cat's ass smelled that it was permeated on every fabric a piece of wall everything in there it was truly vile you go to a guy's house for a hookup and they

53:12Trixie Mattel:no no no no

53:13Katya Zamolodchikova:you go to a guy's house for a hookup and they smoke cigarettes they smoke no no no it's a non-starter it's a non-starter you can't do it you can't A non-smoker cannot have sex. I know they're fuck a shorty. No, you can't smoke. You can't have sex or kiss a smoker when you're a non-smoker. And then the smokings.

53:31Trixie Mattel:But so, wait, what the fuck was the... Oh, sorry. You were talking about smoking in the car and smoking indoors. We were talking about smoking and driving. What's the correlation? Oh, it's... My best friend, one of my best friends, Jenny, in high school. Yeah. She told me, oh, I'm trying to stop smoking before I'm driving. That's what I'm driving.

53:44Katya Zamolodchikova:It's... Well, so there's two things in the car that are absolutely essential for me to get into it and drive the car. access to all, no, access to all of the songs that I need to listen to or want to listen to. That is non-negotiable. That's number one. I cannot like my mother driving complete silence, focused on the road, alone with her thoughts. It is diabolical, serial killer behavior, enviable, but I can't relate. She doesn't listen to music. She's never listened to music. She certainly doesn't do it in the car. She sits, she, she drives quietly, carefully on the road. I can't, I have to blast music.

54:19Katya Zamolodchikova:I have to sing it loudly. My boyfriend goes for 10-mile walks, no music.

54:23Trixie Mattel:That to me is... The killer. Just staring into space like...

54:27Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, if I had... When I go missing... Baby, if I'm leaving the... Like, if I have to go 40 feet outside without my headphones, I start to unravel.

54:37Trixie Mattel:Girl, can I tell you? Please. We keep talking about how the AirPods get lost because you drop them and they fly into space. So I had to buy new headphones. Now I got the Gen 4 AirPods. No, don't do it, Jackie. Even smaller case. And I will say, the magnets are stronger.

54:50Katya Zamolodchikova:Imagine the grip.

54:51Trixie Mattel:The magnets are stronger. Oh, are they really?

54:52Katya Zamolodchikova:So I think like they're in there better. Do you know what I think you need to do? I think this maybe would have compromised the mechanism of the actual thing, but you know how they have like chalk spray paint where like you can spray paint a surface and it becomes a chalkboard? Understood. Yes. What about a grip? A grippy kind of spray or a grippy kind of like a textured kind of, you know what I'm talking about? I can see that. Yes. like basically turn them into

55:19Trixie Mattel:put AstroTurf on them. Well, I mean, realistically, every time you close it, you just put like a rubber band around it.

55:24Katya Zamolodchikova:Like there's a lot of things you could do. That doesn't work because it's going to slide right off. Not rubber. Rubber band? With those oily, nasty, slippery, slick headphones? I don't know. Call in. If anybody from the Genius Bar at Apple wants to call in. Well, I'd recently traded in my AirPod Max's for another brand, which I know doesn't really work. I can't live that giant over-the-ear headphone life. No, no, no. This is for the plane. This is for the studio. Understood. Yeah. The exercising, the wet, sweaty ears. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Nasty headphones off.

55:52Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. So we're not sponsored by the brand, so I won't mention it. But let me tell you, that noise canceling. I love it. I love it so much. Yeah. It's great. The new Apple headphones have like a, I don't like, okay, earbuds, tiny earbuds.

56:14Trixie Mattel:I don't like the kind that plug your ear. I don't like the feeling of a plug. Yes. Where when I answer a phone call, it sounds like I'm underwater. Okay. I hate that. Yeah. I like the AirPods because it's like the sound of the room comes through. It's not a plug. Well, you can do three different. And you can turn on the noise canceling. So your ears don't feel plugged and you feel noise canceled. I really like that.

56:34Katya Zamolodchikova:Well, you have the three different. You've got immersive. You've got aware. You've got noise canceling. Yes. This is the same situation with those over the head things.

56:41Trixie Mattel:However, when I'm producing music on the plane and stuff, I have to use corded headphones because when you're trying to make music, the little bit of a delay from Bluetooth, it makes it impossible. So I do travel with a good old-fashioned these.

56:54Katya Zamolodchikova:I actually really love these. I do too. And these are very similar to the ones that I have purchased. And baby, guess what? They are corded up, plugged in, tuned in, tapped in, turned on. Are you corded? Are your nipples corded? Are you tuned in, tapped in, turned on? I'm James Corden.

57:08Trixie Mattel:Oh, horrible. Is he still going on?

57:10Katya Zamolodchikova:I hope not. Horrible.

57:11Trixie Mattel:He was big for a while. They were like - Oh, no, no. He was huge. Every channel was him.

57:15Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, doing a carpool karaoke. Eat shit, James Corden. I don't care for him. Oh, that's too mean. Nah, fuck him. He's not Pam Bondi. Huh? Fuck him, who cares? Okay, thank you. I hate you. And when Anna Wintour doing her little boo-boo, like, this is my office, be afraid of me to work with Vogue, her unrehearsed 73 questions, her favorite comedian was James Corden, I was like, kick her out of the office. Kick her right out of the office. Kick her out of the office.

57:40Trixie Mattel:Boop. Mine might be Maria, but I love Dana Gold as well. Yeah, who? Bamford. Famer comedian? Yeah.

57:46Katya Zamolodchikova:A hundred percent.

57:47Trixie Mattel:I love Dana Gould too. That bitch cracks me up. Robbie Hoffman, you were telling me about the - Robbie Eats. The they-thems. Robbie Eats. Yeah. Robbie said, Robbie was doing this bit. You white girl from Brooklyn with a boyfriend. Yeah. No takesies, backsies. Robbie, I saw Robbie at the Emmys. I said, Robbie, just so you know, I tell everybody you're my boyfriend. And they were like, that's cool. I was like, great. Perfect. I was like ever since I've worked with you I tell people you're my boyfriend I forgot to tell you sorry you're my boyfriend though they had lost their Emmy nomination oh dejected no they were really cool about it and they were just back there like it's okay it sucks though but it's okay and I was like that is it

58:34Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah especially if you go to the trouble of going to the ceremony you know you have to wait in line and you have to get all fluffed up and stuff. Yeah. The next Emmys, the cage match between Miss Kudrow and Miss Smart is going to be deep, vicious, and... Well, and us. ...Polly Market. I know, because we're going to be in their respective corners. No, we're best guest stars. Yes, and we're also going to, when they cage match, we're going to be giving them the water, doing the ice on the chin. Oh, we're the... Yes. Yes. Or it's like Grease.

58:59Trixie Mattel:They're like doing a sing fight, and we're like, tell me about it. Yeah, throwing daggers and shit. Yeah. Oh, my God. Did I tell you this backstage at the Emmys where I presented with Kelly? cliffhanger. Yes. Maybe this is a cliffhanger. Come on, drunk girl. Why don't you tell me next episode? Oh, but or no. It's just a little rap at the end. Little rap at the end. Okay, I'll tell you next episode. Oh, okay. You're right. You're right. I love a cliffhanger. I know that, Mr. Man.

59:25Katya Zamolodchikova:You think I'm stupid? Well, tune in if you want to hear this riveting, the riveting conclusion to our cliffhanging.

59:32Trixie Mattel:Well, now that people know I'm on the comeback, I can tell you the rest, the Mullen Ackerman story.

59:36Katya Zamolodchikova:oh baby alright stay tuned and turned on Wiggy

59:42Trixie Mattel:Wiggy Smalls

59:44Katya Zamolodchikova:see you next time

1:00:06Thank you.