The Magic of Movements with Trixie and Katya

20:05I got to say, keep doing what you're doing. No. It gives me the Game Boy vibes.

20:10Trixie Mattel:Crank Boy. Crank Boy. It's a Game Boy emulator. Queen. I started learning to make games. There's a tarot card game. You want to do your reading? Yes, please, please, please, please. Okay. Okay. Okay. Here you go. We'll do your tarot reading. Okay. Twinkle Tarot. Yes. Twinkle Tarot. Twinkle Tina. Okay. I think. Love it. Do a one card pull. Love it. Okay. So first it's going to make you shuffle your cards, I think. Okay. So you got to turn the crank to shuffle the cards. Okay. A single card pull for quick guidance or a daily message. Clear your mind and draw a card. Love it. I already know. Okay.

20:42Trixie Mattel:I think you got to push A to keep going. Okay. Okay. Shuffle. Oh, crank it. I love the physical. You got to crank it up. Don't you know? Crank it up. Okay. Oh, fierce. You can select one. You crank through and pick a card. Okay, here we go.

21:00This is Cunty. Don't you love it? I love it. I'm obsessed with it. The High Priestess. Incredible. Ooh, feminine wisdom. Oh yeah, baby. What does it say? Okay. The High Priestess represents intuition, inner wisdom, and subconscious knowledge. She encourages you to listen to your inner voice and trust your gut feelings. This card suggests that the answers you seek are already within you, waiting to be discovered through reflection and meditation. Now, funny enough, of course, what was my question? How do I need to gain the skills or what are the routes through which I will gain the patience and fortitude to wait to jerk off an electrician?

21:37Trixie Mattel:It's me. It's me, myself, and I. You know what I think? I think it's about you having to have more compassion for people who don't immediately go at the green light. Because I know you hate that. That left green arrow. My hypervigilance is coming back to bite me. Girl, I'm a little too trigger happy with the horn. What are you talking about? When I'm behind someone who is not on the ball. Are you a beeper? Oh, no, I'm a beep baby. I honk. Oh, I honk. Are you that girl? A hundred percent. You know when driver's ed, they said to not use it to communicate to other cars unless an absolute emergency.

22:05No. It's not because you're inconvenienced. Not in LA. No, no, no. Because everybody's on their phone. Because so me and my little friends behind me would never get the opportunity to go. And the people behind me are going to beep. I do a very light. It's a toot. A broken cog in a broken machine. Yeah, I do a light toot. I get out of the car. I go up and I go. I mean, what's the other alternative? They should, to be honest, there should be more than one communication device in the car. Other than lights. That's the only other thing. You should get a megaphone. Or I should just cut a hole in my windshield and have a tube go out.

22:36But play loud music. I do already, though. Oh. Red, red wine. Is it that? It's, don't worry.

22:45Trixie Mattel:You don't, we don't do enough reggaeton driving around Los Angeles. Bad Bonnie. Moonbaton. I'd play a lot of Bad Bonnie. Bad Bonnie. By the way, would. Oh my God. A million times would. I know we talk about them all the time. No offense to Miss Bunny, but the way that I think it's understood. I'm in a celebrity lusting phase right now because I went home to watch the Hunger Games series because the Hunger Games play just made me feel like, well, I'm going to go watch them now. Peter? Josh Hutcherson. I know I know Peter I know he's like 5 '2 Selking wet but in what and then what and what a short king yes short short beautiful big square jaw big beautiful eyes I just watched him in incredible talent incredible talent he's so handsome I just love him in everything if he's in it I'm watching it and I'm loving it that's great and I'm jerking it I'm loving it I just love him I love him we all have our movie stars you know what I mean I mean, he's in that movie with that Hemsworth and I'm like, move.

23:49Trixie Mattel:Like I'm like all about it. Yeah. You're literally checking out of the put your clothes on. Get out of here. You know, I love that. And the fact that Katniss takes, you know, two movies to really take any notice of him. Like, girl, wake up, wake the fuck up. Get that. Are you, are you blind, bitch? Are you blind? She's in the book. She's like so focused on protecting her sister that she's sort of like that sister. But I'm like, you also might die. Don't you want to get your back blown out? If I was in the Hunger Games. Miss Peter is right there with his hard, hard cock. Well. Is it Peter? Peter.

24:18Peter.

24:19Trixie Mattel:It's not Peter. No, but if he was from Boston, we'd say Peter. Well, if it was in Australia and the next word was a vowel, they'd say Peter. Who started that? Mama. Bianca? Bianca. It's not Bianca like Sanka. It's Bianca like Willy Wonka. I don't know what they're doing. They call her Bianca. Oh, and they're just fine with it. England. It's fine. England and Australia, they call Bianca Del Rio Bianca. Bianca. So they hear. Watch Drag Race. Let me get this straight. So they watch Drag Race where RuPaul says, I don't know, 12 to 18 times in an episode in season six. Bianca. So Bianca, Bianca, you're the winner of this challenge.

24:55Condragulations, Bianca. They're like, hmm, Bianca. Yeah. What is that damage? Say it again. Got it. Got it. Bianca. Who's up next? Bianca. Okay. Copy that. Bianca. B-anchor. I understand. Like I said, I understand how accents work and understand not being able to pronounce sings like a native speaker, but we're talking about the same language. We all have access to the same diphthongs, vowels, stresses. We understand we're all English speakers, native English speakers. We're working with the same 78 cards in the tarot deck here. Yes, we're all the same 29 words in the alphabet. Right. So these people say, when you say Bianca, I say Bianca.

25:32Trixie Mattel:What is going on there? I don't know. I mean, the good thing about that is she could spell her name with emojis. She could do the B and then the anchor. Oh, it's the short game. I worked with my makeup artist. I have makeup artists in London who I'll work with when I'm there. Their name is Jack. Love Jack from Glow Up. Yes. Love Jack. Beats me down with, does little thing, does my makeup, watches me do a step and then takes the brush and refines it and shows me like, wow. Elevates it. Jack was like, I can't watch your YouTube videos. I said, why? And they said, because I, I can't, I can't fix the makeup while watching it.

26:08I was like, shit. I can't watch your porn anymore. because your warts just like get me unbricked.

26:15Trixie Mattel:They did my highlight on my forehead and I stoked away from the mirror and I was like, I had the RuPaul perfect circle forehead and I was like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah, fuck my drag. I was talking about texting and they were like, you don't text me back. I'll send you something and two weeks later you'll send back a cupcake emoji. I was like, damn, that is me. In red. People text too much. Texting isn't urgent. It's like you left me a valentine. I might open it. I might even not check the mail. Right. You send a snail mail? I hate texting. You know. I've become less of a phone person in a major way.

26:49You've been tweeting a lot. I've been tweeting a lot. It's catching strays from hypomania. You know, but I'm also, I'm not working right now. What about Azalea Banks tweeting you? I thought that was a joke. I thought it was some fan account. When I said this to you, I thought I was the probably 100th person. No, no, no. You're the only person. Thanks a lot. Friends. like it's like the friends who invited me to go see Mulholland Drive at the cemetery for

27:13Trixie Mattel:Sinaspia friends well she said that you're gonna get HPV all blocked yeah Azealia Banks I tweeted I'm ready to have sex with an Italian man and she quote tweeted you are ready to get HPV

27:26by the way probably already have it um already have it and I can get it from anyone yes also vaccinated not that that protects me against all strains but I am well yeah what about the what

27:35Trixie Mattel:about the um the philosophy behind hpv being yeah basically if you have sex once you've got it i know that's encouraging encouraging and also the disheartening because i remember having when i had some friends in high school or i knew people in high school who were diagnosed with like that i mean this is like before the year 2000 okay so it was like a death sentence it come to now if you google it it's like yeah everybody has it excuse me everyone has it But it can make it, uh, it can, it can, it can, anal, uh, colorectal cervical cancer. So it just makes it that much more important to get screened.

28:09Trixie Mattel:Yeah. So it's not like having an HPV exposure is a direct line to cancer, but it can jump up here. But it also is a great reminder just in general, writ large to go have a provider or a trusted servant or a witch in the woods or a monocle wearing oracle or anybody who the assistant manager of the victuals and sundry store you frequent every every wednesday to check your body out get scraped out get scraped out get checked out get um you know felt up non-sexually by a clinician a diagnostician or a physician i had a physician chase me out of the hospital not after me not chase me out but after me out of the hospital it was thrilling to give me some lab results that were immediate.

28:49Oh, good. It was great. The guy was, he took off his, he was a doctor physician and he took his mask off and I thought he was going to French kiss me. He took off his ball gag.

28:56Trixie Mattel:Yeah, I think he was a doctor. He had a ball gag on it. He was pissing in a jar. Yeah. That I was holding. He was hanging from the ceiling bound in rubber, but he said he was a doctor. What about people being poured into furniture? No, thank you. I went to the Magic Castle. Okay. I went to the Magic Castle. Is it the tea? There's so much information downloading at that place. It is so crazy. Did you dress up? Oh, I saw you in your, is that what you had a suit on? Yeah. Jennifer and I, so I, I, she picks me. I, I, I'm doing something and I lose track of time. And I realized I, all my suits are hanging up.

29:29There's nothing to be steamed or iron or anything, but no tie, which I realized one minute before she's picking me up. Is that? Is it? Black tie or it's a tie.

29:37Trixie Mattel:Can you wear a jacket with no tie there? No. You need the tie. No, but anywhere that requires or demands that is usually going to have something you can borrow or rent or whatever. Yeah. I didn't know that. So they will, they will. And they do. So if I'll gouge you, so I was, thank you, Obama. Thank you, Biden. I ran and I'm, I mean, ran, I mean, oh, I, Usain Bolt sprinted into the target in my black suit to get a black tie. And then I, and I sprinted out back to Jennifer. I was pouring sweat, just drenched in sweat and doing my tie. Like I'm going to Catholic school first day, get it on. We go in immediately see this Jen, this 20 year old in the smoking section, who's looks like he is standing in back of his grandfather's suit on a hanger.

30:17It's so large and ill-fitting. I was like, what did I, what do I get? Look at the Philly eyelash on a red carpet. Yeah. Literally like Daft Punk or like a...

30:26Trixie Mattel:It's a little bit of suit. It's just an oversized, insane ill-fitting. It's a cardboard suit that they're just, they're like... Someone's like Matt Gala outfit. Yes. I was like, okay, fierce. Spongebob. Spongebob, exactly. They ran into Brett Loudermilk the sword swallower. We chopped it up. Oh, it's amazing. But Jennifer was in the bathroom and we had powered down our phones and put them in our, our, um, very respectful purses and rucksacks, put them away. So I'm just vibing. I look, he's like, comes over. He's like, okay, hi. But most importantly, what the hell are you doing? Cause I was just seated at the dinner table, staring into space, bald headed, no hat, black all in black suit, looking like Nosferatu, just doing this.

31:05Buffering. Buffering. Yeah. Yeah. Buffering. And he's like, you look insane.

31:10Trixie Mattel:You look like Nosferatu. You know what it gives? That amazing clip of you in full drag seated backstage chewing gum. staring at that vending machine. Like that is like the funny, weird, like been there. Mom, it's so relatable. Hello darkness, my old friend. Like, holy shit. It's so awesome. It's so awesome. It makes me think of that. Have you ever seen that Katy Perry clip of her from Witness era where she's stirring that tea and she has like a red face and she's like stirring. It's supportive referral. It's time for a supportive referral. Can we get YouTube down here? Yeah, it was crazy. So we come out, chopped it up a little bit.

31:45But we go into the, so we're in line. We're in line for the show. And there's these two blonde girls, 20 years old, look like models. And I say to Jennifer, I don't know why. I was like, I fucking hate those cunts. I was like, I fucking hate those cunts. And I'm like, this is a little mean in my mind. I'm like, this is a little mean. And I was like, you know, and I turned to her again. I was like, I probably said that because I'm jealous.

32:06Trixie Mattel:Yeah. And yeah, it was like, I definitely said that. Beauty and youth. I was like, I said that because I'm jealous. I said that because they're hot. I said that because they're 20. And I'm ashamed of that. and then what happens two seconds later they're like Katya and then they say my first my full name with the middle name and I was like George and Hazel Pinkering George and Hazel Pinkering and then of course Jennifer Nightingale of course I say to Jennifer they're so fierce I love those girls but of course they turn out to be from Boston they were chopping it up they actually turned out to be the most incredible fierce girls ever.

32:43So this is the moral of the story. You bald old fucking bitch. Don't judge a long,

32:49Trixie Mattel:sexy book by its cover. No, honestly, nobody can relate to being judged for being hot more than me.

32:58Trixie Mattel:Really? Honestly, literally last night, DJing at the Abbey, me turning to Mateo and saying, you want to be me so bad? He's like, okay, faggot. Like, no, I don't. me going up to people and saying, you're so mad because I look so good. And they're like, we don't know each other. Like, if I look half good in drag, people wish I looked like shit again because I get too powerful. I get too crazy. Do you know what I mean? You walk in, you tip over their drinks and like, you are so pissed off. Oh my God. You are through the roof that I have sexuality and you never will. You have none. You are unfuckable and it's somehow my fault.

33:38I know.

33:38Trixie Mattel:But you know what? But it was because, um, I don't like to talk about digestive stuff, but when I traveled to London, I took a lot of Zofran because I was sick. Nobody told me that Zofran gives you constipation. Even the doctor who prescribed it, the doctor who came to my hotel and gave it to me, didn't say anything. Granted, he was British. Am I going to trust him? No. What do they know? You know, what do they know? How to inbreed? Oh, what's with your eyes? Oh, the things went under Oh, you've never seen that before? It's weird, sorry I did on camera The Uncanny Valley? Flip my eyelids inside out They look like Audi bellybuttons for a second This hurts me I hate that What does it look like?

34:24Trixie Mattel:I've never seen it It looks like you're having a shellfish reaction Oh, I love that We gotta get YouTube down here Can I get a screen grab? Can I get a thumbnail? How do you do it? You have to shove them down like this. Like, I'm doing this. I'm digging, digging, digging. I'm digging. And then you go like that. And then it doesn't last a long time. Oh, that sucks. That sucks. Do some nail glue next time. Because I don't like it. Flowing ad budget on metrics that look great. Till the CFO sees them. That's bull spend. And marketers are calling it out in Dashboard Confessions. I remember telling my boss, it'll be good for the brand.

35:02When leads were slow. Yeah, it wasn't. Cut the bull spend. LinkedIn lets you target by company, job title, and more. Advertise on LinkedIn. Spend$250 on your first campaign and get a$250 credit. Go to linkedin.com slash campaign.

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36:06Trixie Mattel:So I get super, super stopped. Yeah, that's it. That's it. She's staying. Oh, God. Yeah. It makes me think, you know what it gives? It gives. Come on. Hail, pay men. Oh, very pay men. Yeah. Do you know what I do?

36:23Wait, wait, wait, wait. When you next day, next day, if you DJ at music festival, you'd be like, ladies. And I'll go back.

36:32all my ladies in the club I'm like you in hereditary girl if I'm at a concert

36:38Trixie Mattel:if I'm at a concert if I'm at Cali Carter and Beyonce goes can you hear me like you don't even know girl oh my god wait I have a question you're constipated you're a business woman you have a big insight into the ways of the business world as it relates to drag how do I get big gut on board to help me. Well, Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Okay. Okay. I take that and the Ritual Pre and Postbiotic. And the Pre and Postbiotic. And I take the Prenatal. Are they going to help me finance my Black Diarrhea movie? Maybe. I take the Anti-Stress and I take a bunch of them. So you got constipated. Okay, but not because of that.

37:26Trixie Mattel:Because I took this new medicine called Zofran. That I'd never taken. Wow. Does it work? Yeah. Amazing. I Googled it. Apparently it dampens your vagus nerve response, which controls like a lot of your puking and stuff like that. Fuck. So your digestive stuff. So the side effect is it can slow down digestion. Didn't know that. Cause I'm, I'm kind of a slow digester anyway. So it's good for me to keep regular. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a once a day gal. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I'm a twice a day gal. So, but I'm traveling and I'm on a broad, I'm a broad, I'm on a different time zone. I don't really realize why I haven't gone in days.

37:57Trixie Mattel:Days. Get back to America. I'm at the PS Direct. I land. I go. Something's happening. I have to go so bad. These are good. But everything's very. Let's say trying to pass like a Nerf football through a boba straw. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. No. Dry. So dry. Completely dry. Cinder block. Cinder block. An Easter Island head trying to go through. Trying to put it in the gas tank of your car. Like it was crazy. so I freak out. I'm actually starting to panic. I'm starting to panic. And you're not into digital extraction. No, because I'm scared of hurting myself. And you guys know, I just had that butthole surgery.

38:37Trixie Mattel:That's a hundred percent healed now. So now I'm like, Oh great. I'm going to traumatize myself. You know what I mean? So I drink magnesium citrate, which is this bottle you take before you, no, it's before you get a, that's bismuth, whatever. Bismuth. Yeah. This is what you take before you have a colonoscopy that flushes you. It forces water into your digestive tract. because the internet said it would help soften everything. So I go from, I just, I don't want to be like too much. I'm sorry people on the 405. The point of no return. Welcome to London. Thank you. Welcome to London. Hello, Bianca.

39:08Welcome to London.

39:09Trixie Mattel:So I'm basically waiting for the water to, first of all, it shows up behind the giant brick. So you're waiting for the sunshine, not the sunshine, the shining elevator to open. Not to be gross, but I'm waiting for everything to get rehydrated. so that it can soften. Yes. To blow the kids out of the pool. So I'm laying completely naked on the floor by the toilet for about three hours going, uh, in PS Direct? In PS I love you. Oh, oh, you're at home. Oh, no problem. That's okay. I got home. Thank God I had my play date. This distracted me the whole ride home. Oh my God. I'm like, you're in the suburban on the way home naked?

39:47No, totally naked. I was not naked. That would be so insane. You had to be swaddled

39:52Trixie Mattel:to go into your house? Girl. They'd do that though. It was, so finally everything does work everything does happen and and it was a describe it in detail terrifying painful painful i'm shaking my hands and legs are both shaking and i'm going ah it was so crazy it was so hell it was so tony collatt was headless floating through the room like it was not it was so crazy and i just want to say digestive health is something that my God, is it the first thing you take for granted? When things are good in the neighborhood, you will not go, thank God, what a great day. Yeah. Down a brave rock. You don't notice nothing.

40:32Yeah, shout out to people with chronic gut issues because it's always on their mind. Who has it worse, the diarrhea people or the constipation people? Either and both? I don't know. I think it's apples and oranges. Because I'm a constipation diva.

40:45Trixie Mattel:Yeah, I'm not a diarrhea girl. You are, okay. Yeah, diarrhea permanent. Diarrhea permanent. And I asked my boyfriend if I could tell the story. He likes popsicles. No sugar added outshine popsicles. Oh, the devil. I love those outshine popsicles. With no sugar? Well, no, they're natural. They don't add sugar. Oh. The natural sugar, whatever. Natural popsicles. I love the outshine popsicles so much. They're so content. Those little lemonade ones. Delicious. The strawberry ones. My favorite is tangerine. And the tangerine. Wow. Yes. So we bought them. And then I thought, you know, I'm going to resupply them in the freezer.

41:16Trixie Mattel:But I got them from a different store and they didn't have it. So I just typed in sugar-free whatever. So I got him sugar-free popsicles. Cause he likes, I thought no sugar added in zero sugar was the same thing. Turns out I accidentally bought him diabetic popsicles, diabetes popsicles, like not diabetes popsicles, but like for people who medically can't have sugar items, like fake sugar. Oh, interesting. And I didn't know that that can give people diarrhea. Oh, it's like, it's like, um, like, uh, whatever the fuck. Yeah. Sorbitol or whatever the fuck. So he eats six. Um, basically the drugging X-lax.

41:49And then the next morning, I'm going to get coffee.

41:52Trixie Mattel:And I don't know anything about coffee. So I get my iced tea. My coffee order is a mint majesty tea, just like We Are Charlie Kirk. I'm just kidding. That's not true. Do you know that if you die, I'm going to go to Starbucks and order your Starbucks order for your name and wait for them to order it. Triple chocolate, three extra shots of vanilla sugar for Katya. For Katya. Yep. For Katya and Bianca. And I'm going to make an AI. We are Charlie Kirk song about you that won't play on my phone. Girl.

42:24Trixie Mattel:Pay the girl. My phone in the air. Like it's so fierce. So I get my tea and I go, you know what? I'm going to get my boyfriend. I said, what do you like? He said, iced coffee. I said, great. Gay. I was like, you know, but I, and so I get, I go in the cold drink section. Cold brew. Oh, turns out that's not iced coffee. It's a little bit different. it's a little bit more turbocharged he had his six diabetic popsicles and a cold brew he might as well have smoking a cigar and then did a no filter cigarette as well and a partridge and a pear tree so I get home from work and he said he fought for his life all day two inches off the toilet clearing the toilet but as a constipation diva I said how could I pray for days like this do you know what I mean you're praying for rain out in the Sahara what I want my bowels to do have you seen the straight people do that thing where they stand on that water jet that like that's what I want make it rain champagne yeah champagne poppy Like that's what I want.

43:16Yeah. Yeah. Would you do sex to Drake? Um, if he asked me to, I would definitely whack him off. Like if he wanted to put on a little, like give me, if he wanted to like finalize the electrician bill, right? No, like do the invoice and everything. Cause I think he's, I think he's quite tall. And if he was, I don't know, he's not in my big whack it list. I think he's a very fine looking gentleman. I think he is in a lot of people's big whack it list. And I don't see it. Yeah. No, but that's what it is. That is so wonderful. That's what makes the tapestry of humanity so rich and diverse. Yeah. So rich and multicolored and multifaceted.

43:50Yeah. I mean, I, you know, you're talking about Josh Hutcherson. I, oh God, the way I'd run my fingers through Josh O 'Connor's hair. Josh O 'Connor? Grab his, those taxi driver with a taxi cab with the doors open ears and just let him have it. Josh O 'Connor. Yeah. Let me just look up a picture quick. Yeah. He and, what's his name? Russell Tovey are fighting for the taxi cab.

44:12Trixie Mattel:Oh, Josh O 'Connor, quite beautiful. Knives Out. Yes. The church one. Yes. And also from God's Own Country. What a cutie. Sizzling hot. Yeah. Very cute. And such a good actor. Very cute. Probably hung like the Dickens, but we don't know. And that's not my business. So moving on. Girl, speaking of Vegas Nerve, I went with Juno Birch and we went to a little dinner at this restaurant. Have you ever been in a... This is like not a joke. Have you ever been in a restaurant where someone starts choking? No. No. Like for real. If you told me twice this year. Tell me all about it. And it's such a buzzkill.

44:52Trixie Mattel:I mean that in like the most. I mean that in the most empathetic way. No, no. I get no. 100%. No one in the. Only one person give the Heimlich at once. So none of us can really do anything. One person is calling 911. Wait, are you joking? I'm. No, the one was choking. Oh my God. So. This happened. I'm not joking. They were joking. No, I thought they were choking. They were choking. It's not a choke. It's Bianca. She's joking to death. Oh my God. Call 911. She's joking. She's joking. That's not funny. No. God. This happened to me once last year. Are they getting blue in the face? Are they losing the grip?

45:27Trixie Mattel:It's the type of thing where we're all laughing. It's me and Jona Birch and we're laughing. Yeah. And then she's like, you know, what's up, babes? And I look over there and someone is standing up and it's this, it's this. And it's, the restaurant gets very quiet. This has happened to me twice in this year. Both times it was so similar The whole room gets quiet Everyone looks What's the profile? One person is yelling like We're on the phone with 911 already Like one person's already called 911 And then one person is doing the Heimlich And both times they lived, obviously Like it would be I wouldn't probably tell this story Right This is a success story of someone in the room Knowing the Heimlich And anybody, they did They lived And they administered the Heimlich And they lived And then would you see the thing Like fly out and catch somebody else in the face Happens all the time Hey Slippery little suckers It was a tater tot and it was delicious.

46:13Trixie Mattel:And it made sense because it was kind of firm. The Dresden Cafe open until 11 p.m. No, but both times the person was okay. But it's such a scary thing that you're like, now you're about to eat. And you're like, God, this could happen at every meal. And I never think about it. That's why we need to take small measured bites and chew at a low, easy clip. Well, you chew with your mouth open. So things are a lot safer, I think. Yeah. and my knuckles dragging on the ground it was scary though where were the profiles who would play her I do I'm CPR certified that's cock pussy that's cock pussy and Rambo though cock pussy Rambo it was men both times pussies men both times what about your pussies what about your wimps choking to death girl if I choke to death you better put a wig on me that's not going to happen to me I don't have a gag reflex We hold pride this weekend, girl.

47:10All I raised took is like shoved out my throat. I can't even feel it. I know.

47:13Trixie Mattel:And don't you think if I knew how to choke, I would have done it already? Got me. Got me, bitch. Hello. I can't be gay, girl. I can't either. But look. I can't be gay, girl. But it scared me. I know. I just want to say like, this is a real PSA. If you're at a restaurant, talking is fun. Hang out with friends is fun. Maybe you're drinking. Yes. Lots of fun things to happen. happens because we're all eating and talking. Yeah. I'm assuming eating and talking is less safe because you're breathing, aspirating while chewing. Like, I don't know. Yes. But it was really scary both times. And it was so like the 911 is called.

47:49Trixie Mattel:The food does get dislodged both times, but also I'm just like so fixed on what if it didn't. And like, we're all ordering appetizers and someone just dies in the restaurant. Fierce. Not fierce. It'd be so scary. Yeah. I think the Yelp review would probably go down a little bit. It was scary. Have you ever seen a choke like that? No, I've been choked out way back when though. And it just makes me think of all these like gay people. I just think it's funny that after your abdominal obstruction, I go have fecal impaction to try to like one up you. I know. I think you're choked out in a restaurant.

48:22Trixie Mattel:You're trying to choke. Oh my God. I'm David Carradine in the restaurant. If you, I want to talk to you very briefly about choking. So in speaking about choking, there's a lot of people who do autoerotic asphyxiation. Which is the gateway drug is the choking game. Yes. Right. So I have played the choking game when I was in my youth. And as an adult, you play the crying game. By the way, get a grip. Get a grip. Get a grip. We've just kissed on the mouth for seven or eight sensual long minutes. and now because I opened my robe and comes tumbling out my balls and dick, you somehow are so sickened at that possibility or that you go to vomit.

49:04I think the fuck not. If anything, you might be, huh, oh, oh, it's just the two of us. Yeah. It's not the two of us. We're not at your family reunion. We're not at your 25 - You don't need to be puking. We're not at your 25-year anniversary. We're not at your LinkedIn celebration or like job promotion. Your wedding. Yeah, your wedding, your weekend workshop with Hilary Duff. We're not at any of that stuff. Your bee sting retreat. Thank you. For the autoimmune people. Thank you. Yeah, we're not at any of those things. It's just me and you. And you have been touching and feeling up on my body. You're an angel.

49:39The urine angels retreat. We've been doing urine therapy. Right. But that's so fucked up. Anyway, so I'm doing the crying game. People are puking. You had a PSA about choking? I did. This is for you. If I ever, if you ever find my dead body with my weenie and balls out and it is crystal clear that I have been jerking it while choking. Do you know what I would, I would ask you to do, and you don't have to do it. I would ask you to cover me up, wrap me in like the mummy or something. It would just make it clear that it was another way. I can't do that.

50:07Trixie Mattel:I can pop some sunglasses on you and like a little party blower. Yes. And then maybe just grab a knife from the kitchen. Just toss it on my body. Toss it on my body. What if I put a book next to you that's like naked yoga and you? that's perfect. She died doing what she loved. She died. Does that make sense? She died. Does that make sense? Yeah. I, it just really scared me. And I don't know something about a public restaurant where, you know, servers are like, what's that? You want to Jack and ginger? Great. Margarita, you know, it's also humiliating. Humiliating sports on the TV. No, what happened after they were rescued?

50:40Trixie Mattel:Oh, both times the person sat back down and finished the meal. I'm running out of there. Other people, both times other people who are walking by are like, are you okay? That's the servers. bringing extra water it just was so scary and only one person can physically even intervene so the rest of us are just not talking and watching or it also feels rude to watch right but should i be like right embarrassed and looking away right there's no if i was choking i would be thinking there's someone look at me i don't know it's the social educated around watching someone choke to death in a restaurant i don't know makes you think you're not going to form a conga line ready to heimlichum if one doesn't work you like you tap out and you're like you know what i mean it's like You know what you do?

51:20Trixie Mattel:You take, you pour out your glass and you, I got my ticket for the, and you'd start doing like kind of a pitch perfect. Or close up magic. Close up magic. When they die. If there is a magician in the house, can you do a trick where you remove the chicken wing from my throat? Now we're talking. What's that behind your ear? The tater totes. And then you're fine. Do that at the magic castle. What's that between your legs? Oh, cock and balls. I've known all there is to know about the crying game do you know about this artist oh my god if I had crying game he would have puked and the thing would have come out okay so if you see someone choking I will reveal my genitals I will show they're on I will show they're in half drag on the spot and if we know anything about reality it's that once I bust out once this gorgeous lady reveals she's a man yeah It will make everybody in the room throw up.

52:16And we will prove once and for all that gender affirming care is a life-saving procedure. Yes. Now drive that down to Fiorucci Boulevard and sell it.

52:28Trixie Mattel:By the way, I wore this, speaking of. I'm sorry, this has been me the whole time. The whole time. I wore this red baseball cap here that I had on the first episode. Yeah, I thought you had converted. And I scared myself when I looked in the mirror. I thought you crossed over. It like scared me for a second. And I had on my big wraparound sunglasses, which is very - How many of us were scared? Me too. You too. This summer, I'm going to London, Kentucky for the world famous, the World Chicken Festival with the world's largest cast iron skillet. Do they do a chicken silent contest? I'm sure. They do a chicken, like, blah, blah, blah, or whatever.

53:02Trixie Mattel:You make the sound. The Miss Fame thing. Yeah, they do that. Chicken sound. They do a Colonel Sanders lookalike competition. Oh, yeah. I've seen this. It's from the hometown of Colonel Sanders. Yeah, this is like legit, right? This is like, this is no joke. Yes. Last year, the headlining musician was Uncle Cracker, but it got rained out. And the year before it was Smash Mouth, but with no singer because he died. So I don't know what they're doing this year. One Pointer Sister or something. I don't know. But I'm going. Simon. I'll DJ. No Garbuckle. I'll get booked. You should. Sickening, girl. It is sickening.

53:30Sickening boots. Sickening boots. We got to get Bianca down here.

53:33Trixie Mattel:Hi, boots. Girl, there's two drag queens on Project Runway. Not Runway. It's a show where drag queens just run away. Q and Plane. Yeah, I'm excited. Does Plane sew? I don't know, actually. But Q does, and Q eats those costumes up. Okay, fierce. I did Pitstop for their season of Drag Race. Emotional support queen? You know, I don't know, actually. She should give a lot of emotional support. That bitch. Yeah, when I think I need somebody who's going to give me empathy and a shoulder to cry on, get Plane down here. Plane. Plane. Diva. You're ugly today. Sorry, you're ugly every day. I gotta go. But I think Utica did a good job on it.

54:19Yeah, but also - That whore can really sell, too. But I was gonna say, Utica constructed on Drag Race one of the best outfits ever seen on Drag Race.

54:24Trixie Mattel:You know who else could whip up the girls down there? Bianca? Yes, but also - Mitzi Middleton? Nymphia. Nymphia could eat the girls up down there at the Project Runaway. I want to throw her into traffic. Why am I saying Runaway? I don't know. Project Runaway. maybe because you're from the country. I want to throw Nymphia in a traffic. Yeah. I want to drown her. She's so talented. Does that make sense? I drowned her. Does that make sense? She made all of her drag race stuff. She is so, I'm like, what is wrong with you? Oh, nothing fierce. She's so fierce. You know, Plastique asked me to, same thing with that fucking whore.

55:02Trixie Mattel:She asked me to come to do some video with her, where she wanted to make, kick a shoe and turn into the Marvel movie. She wanted to paint me. And I was like, this will go one of two ways. I will look bad. Yeah, or... And you and the audience and me will be like, well, you can't fix ugly. Yeah, ugly is always ugly. Or I will look incredible and I will never have joy in my life again. Yeah, the latter. So I'm afraid of that experience. She'll also kick your shoe and turn you into fucking Princess Peach. Did you feel like when Fame did you that she really worked her pussy out? Didn't Pearl do you too?

55:35No, no, no. Neither of those things because what they both did was put their face on me. Right. So I just look like a Miss Fame impersonator. And then I look like a weird Pearl character. But I didn't feel pretty in both of those senses. I felt more pretty as Fame just because it was more technically precise. And it was laid on my face in a more human way. But Pearl, I thought I looked so ugly. I loved it. Do you know what I mean? I thought it looked like a character, but it was so crazy. So I didn't think I would look like... I didn't think she ate in short. I think she did an amazing job turning me into this weird...

56:08No, I mean, in the moment I was shocked. This like weird wet brown mouth in like the, it was crazy, but it was fun. But I would never choose to look like that. You know who's living their best life? No. Both of them.

56:21Trixie Mattel:Bofa? Fame is in Switzerland taking natural baths with her baby. I know. Mother Teresa in Switzerland. Man of the woods. Optimal male peak health. I know. Yeah. Or yeah, he's man of the woods. He's the man of the woods. The clothes she's been making, her little runway videos, she uses all secondhand fabrics. Like no pearl. Oh. She makes all her little outfits from like - What outfits? Like drag outfits or real outfits? Drag and out of drag. Oh, wow. She makes these cool sculpted fun outfits and makes these videos walking in them on a treadmill. But she uses all like, I think she's so environmentally conscious, she doesn't buy new fabrics.

56:59Trixie Mattel:Only like curtains. That's fierce. Eating. Eating. She's taking bits of the wagon wheel and the barn door. The body. Good for her. Living and vibing. Also, you know how else this is living and vibing? Fucking kimchi chic. Oh my God. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Meanwhile, I'm in London on day four of no poop. And I'm on day 40 of trying not to poop out of my stomach hole. What is your poop like now? I'm so happy to say that today was great. Yesterday, a couple of days ago, because I'm on antibiotics again, I was wet, dark green. That's hard. No, it was not hard. It was super soft. I'm on a lot of vitamins right now.

57:36Trixie Mattel:And they don't. I don't know. This is so gross. It's super gross. But I'm on a lot of vitamins. And when you take a lot of vitamins all the time, sometimes you get discoloration. You get like tennis ball yellow pee. It's not like dehydrated yellow pee. It's like neon. It's like flashing lights. Yeah. Lights. I'd be peeing. And every time you would think because it's been months. Looks like liquid kryptonite. Every time you would think I'm used to it. Every time I look in the. Yeah. It's like.

58:06Toodaloo. So I don't know. What do we do? Let's end with this. For I am not Emily Kimberly. Who's that? I am Emily Kimberly's brother. I'm Tootsie. Oh, yes. Tootsie. You gotta go. Everybody's gotta go watch Tootsie. Before we go, can we do one more thing? Did you finish The Boys? No, I couldn't get past Carl Urban's accent. I can't. I'm sorry. I tried. I tried.

58:28Trixie Mattel:I finished it. Tell me. Give me a recap. I have a loved one that I talked to about it. and my loved one is a Trump voter. And I said, and I thought about this the other day and I wanted to talk to you about this. Maybe we've talked to this before, Tracy, let me know. If you're conservative, how do you enjoy art? Because when you watch Wicked and it's about someone being discriminated against for their skin color, are you like, so me? And you're like a white blonde lady. You're like, that's me. Or if you're like a - How do you enjoy a super satire of the boys? The boys, which is thinly veiled. It's so thin.

59:02It's like not even veiled anymore.

59:04Trixie Mattel:it's like heavy handed. And it's, it's a, it's a satire of like fanaticism and Trump really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I said to my loved one who I forgot who they voted for. And I said, I wonder if it's hard for Trumpers to watch this because I know like that genre of man, like Superman, like superhero shit. Yeah. And this is like using superhero shit to critique capitalism, America, fascism, fascism. And it's like, again, we said so thinly veiled cheesecloth. I mean it's like light shining through yeah it's crazy and they said well you can read whatever you want into it I mean it's just a show and I was like no no no that's it that's exactly what it is that's exactly that's what Rod Sterling did with Twilight Zone because they wouldn't let him talk about race so he made it about pigs yeah supernatural space but the metaphors are so clear in the wake of Trump tweeting a photo of himself as Jesus or whatever right yeah or on the moon with his helmet off Yeah.

1:00:01Trixie Mattel:You have, I'm like, do that, do that challenge. Can I spoiler? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In the last episode, you literally have, you have Homelander in the Oval Office addressing the nation, saying he's the savior, saying he's God. Yeah. And Ashley, who's the president in this moment, is in an orange suit. Like it's so heavy handed. Yeah. And I'm like, okay, there's, there's gray and metaphors, but then there's how thin is too thinly veiled? It's like not even the what veil. It's a hair. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And how are you a Trumper and watching this and not feeling clowned on and not feeling like if you can recognize Homeland is a bad guy, why can't you recognize the president is a bad guy?

1:00:46Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I wonder if that's hard for people. And then I think about not just that, but like I was watching the fucking Hunger Games this morning. I was thinking about this subject to come talk to. I was like, that's like watching the Hunger Games and be like, this isn't about America. this isn't about the collapse of capitalism and human cruelty. And like, it is though. How could you just be like, it's just a show about superheroes. You can read into whatever you want, but how could you read into it any other way? Is my question. I think your answer is your own question is they're not reading into it at all.

1:01:18That's the, that's so that's the, that's more in line with my thesis of we are cooked Mary. There's no reading happening. There's no dots being connected. They're just mind numbing in front of the TV set with their tongues out and their lizard brains getting like tapped every, every time someone blows up or every time someone explodes and there's blood everywhere, their lizard brain goes, that's it. There's no, there's nothing else happening there. There's no analysis. There's no criticism. There's no critical analysis. There's no like, there's no metaphor. There's no nothing. There's no, it's not, there's just, that's all that's happening.

1:01:50I think where they're on their phone too, but every time someone blows up, they look up and then they go back to their phone. That's how people watch TV now. I just wonder what the super conservatives like. I don't think they're, I don't think they're thinking. How do you, how do you? Also they're not threatened. So it doesn't matter.

1:02:09Trixie Mattel:Yeah. It's just crazy. When you're not, when you're not threatened, you're not, when you're in charge, you don't worry about anything. What would they have to worry about? They have to worry about me turning them gay or me turning their child trans. I guess like it's always an ethics conversation because it's about like competing conceptions of like the good or like the moral-y. And I don't want to go back to Watchmen, but in Watchmen, you have all these different heroes who kind of all represent a different compass of like morality. This one's like, this is the good. This one's like, no, this is the good.

1:02:41Trixie Mattel:This is the good. And then you have like Adrian Veidt, who's the bad guy, but thinks he's doing good because he thinks to kill 3 million people, you can defuse nuclear Holocaust and save everyone. And I'm just, you know, finishing the boys and reflecting on, and I've read the books too and watching the whole series and being like, I know like sparkler who is basically on Fox news in that show. How are you a Trump person? And you're watching this. And if you're a Fox news watcher and you're watching sparkler beyond basically Vought news, which is Fox news. How are you not then channel surfing to Fox news and not seeing that girl the mirror.

1:03:16Trixie Mattel:Wait, sparkler. Sparkler from season five, the redhead. Firecracker. What did I say? Sparkler. I'm sorry. Firecracker. Firecracker. Yeah. Yeah. Brain death. No, no. She's like the show. Love her. Incredible. Yeah. Love her. But she's like, she's like, she's like a super bootlicker for, for, you know, Vought and Homelander and everything. Yeah. If you're watching her and you're watching flipping over to the real Fox news. I know. How are you like, well, my show's over. Let me watch my other show and not realize they're like, they're talking to you, girl. I know. They're talking about you too, you girl.

1:03:49Unfortunately, I think that your expectations are a little too high. This is like the most basic level. This isn't even metaphor. No, I know. This is like, just change the... It's not even turning the wig around, Dina. It's keep it on. But sometimes they will change one little detail and then make it fiction.

1:04:05Trixie Mattel:Uh-huh. It's like, that's how Finleyville the boys is. It's like, they're just adding superpowers and calling it fiction. It's like, her name isn't Trump, it's Strump. Yeah. Like, it's crazy. Crazy. I know, but I don't know. I don't think these people, I don't know. I have no idea. I just wonder what that's like. Anyway, it's sad and depressing.

1:04:29Does he die? Yeah. Does that make sense? How does he die? Can I spoil? Please.

1:04:34Trixie Mattel:They successfully give Kimiko Soldier Boy's nuclear power that takes away other powers. Oh, fierce.

1:04:44Trixie Mattel:And Butcher and Homelander's son are holding him. And the nuclear blast takes away his powers. And then there's this fierce scene where he tries to fly away and can't fly. They get him good. And he gets beaten with fists. And then Butcher takes a crowbar into Homelander's head, cracks the skull open, brains spill all over the Oval Office. It was really cool. We eaten tonight. Let me tell you about the boys. They don't fuck around with blood and gore. No, they don't fuck around with blood and gore, which is they always give it. It's like gore. It's what's for dinner tonight. They always give you a second dinner too if you want it.

1:05:14They make a man's explode through a penis. They'll do everything you need. Yeah. So thank you. Okay. Bye, Miss Penis. Bye, Miss Penis. Bye, Miss Penis. Give it up for Miss Penis. The mystical majesty of Miss Penis. Miss Penis. He's penile.

1:05:54We'll see you next time.

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