Robby Hoffman is Aggressively Kind with Trixie

0:01This podcast is supported by Nertek ODT. Remedjapant. We know you didn't ask for an interruption, but migraine doesn't wait for the right moment to interrupt either. It just barges in, takes your time, and throws everything off. So when migraine takes your time, take Nertek. It's for the acute treatment of migraine with or without aura in adults. Nertek can provide pain relief in two hours, which can last up to two days. Ask your healthcare provider if Nertek is right for you because your time is for you. not migraine. Don't take if allergic to NERTEK ODT. Allergic reactions can occur even days after use.

0:35Get help right away for trouble breathing, rash, swelling of face, mouth, tongue, or throat. High blood pressure and Raynon syndrome can occur. Get help for high blood pressure, numbness, coolness, pain, or color changes in fingers and toes. Common side effect is nausea. For full prescribing information, call 1-833-4-NERTEK or visit nertek.com. All right, back to your podcast, playlist, or whatever's keeping you going today.

1:00Trixie Mattel:What if upgrading your windows and doors didn't mean tightening your budget? Scratch that. What if it meant spending nothing today? For a limited time, Renewal by Anderson is offering no money down, no monthly payments, and no interest for 18 months on a minimum of six. That means beautiful, energy-efficient windows and doors while the payments wait. Visit RenewalByAndersonHome.com today. and see how easy it is to buy now and pay later. Hey, gay. Bosco here, RuPaul's favorite transsexual. So sorry to interrupt. I'm so sorry to interrupt your viewing of this gay s**t. You caught me at the perfect time.

1:39Trixie Mattel:I'm here to sell you things. Come to my show, The Marvelous Misgender. The Marvelous Misgender. The gender is stored in the bangles. 33 cities. There's going to be burlesque, backup dancers, wireless microphones. There's going to be jokes. Camp, nudity, spotlights, giant martini glasses. 33 cities. Overpriced shoes, production, action, topless costumes. There's gonna be projections. Whatever I have in my storage unit, it's going on the stage. Get your tickets now at dragfans.com. Where? Dragfans.com. 33 cities! This summer, tour, misgender, God's favorite transsexual. Okay, enough about me. You kids go have your fun.

2:19Trixie Mattel:Go watch that gay.

2:25Trixie Mattel:do you do when you do acting you're beyond the world of auditioning probably what do you feel about self-tapes i won't you won't you i gotta do a zoom i i like it back and forth i like something it's not i'm b i'm not beyond auditioning i auditioned for the steve correll show that's So I got that. I auditioned for dying for sex. Very large call out audition. Obviously for hacks, they were inspired by me and thought, how do we pop this fucking season off? And I said, I got you. How do we rescue this sinking shit? Let's get Robbie in here. I got you. Yeah. Is that your dog? No, no, no. This is Luna.

3:05Trixie Mattel:Luna is Mark's dog. No, I like the dog. It's a friendly dog. Yeah. No, that's a good dog. That's a good dog. we knew i hope we're rolling we knew wait was it not rolling oh my god it kills me whenever we have a lesbian here we bring a dog yeah no that's fine now what is the fundamental difference between a dog lesbian and a cat lesbian because i think that's a different world i just inherited a dog right gabby came with a dog i have a cat obviously um you know i don't like to work for a dog the cat doesn't require much a dog you got to go out at night it's like answering to a dog like i don't answer to enough in my life right and now i have to answer to a dog but it's fine i have both now and uh the dog terrorizes the cat and that's how it is she's just trying to live her life and he needs to be a part of it i wasn't familiar with what your wife looked like and last night while i was doing my research i googled it what an absolute beauty she's unbelievable wow i have the greatest life i've heard about recently you You really do.

4:13Trixie Mattel:I was watching. I was doing preparation for this, which is unprecedented because I think we're best friends. So I think I know everything about you. And then yesterday I was like. No, I really love and respect you. And we'll get into how we became best friends. I think I know you so well. And then yesterday I was like, okay, I've only met her a couple times and I've only seen a few things. But I think we're lifelong friends. I think we're lifelong friends. You know, I tell people you're my boyfriend. And that's fine. And I've heard this. You know, I'm not on TikTok, but I get a lot that I'm big on TikTok.

4:40and I think I have you to thank for it. Because I'm Trixie's boyfriend. Thank you. And listen, if you need a boyfriend from afar, I'm your guy.

4:51Trixie Mattel:It costs nothing. It costs nothing and I'm here for you. Yeah. We met, we did, was it Silver Lake Lounge? Yep. We did a comedy show at Silver Lake Lounge with, I think it was the Very Gay Paint guys. Yeah, that checks out. I'm thinking of who knows us and who booked us. Probably them, right? Checks out. i've done thousands of random shows as you have so i'm sure it was that it was those guys and it was a great show it really was amazing me you and caleb yeah caleb what a what a good lineup no one knew why i was there but it was that nobody that had like a back lanai the silver lake lounge what's a lanai you see i'm already learning it has like a little patio a lanai it's like a patio oh a patio right see the queens lanai i mean they say that on golden you know it is okay i'm calling it a lanai i'm pretty sure it's an alley that they put a picnic table in so that the comedians can smoke now a lanai from a patio what is the difference okay one just sounds like better than everyone or is there a real you know architectural difference I think that a lanai communicates

6:04Trixie Mattel:Don't you think a patio is kind of trashy No, no, no I literally feel I feel incredible That I was on a lanai I had no idea Right I was on this lanai This is huge And now I'm like A bitch goes to a lanai Like you don't think I've been to the lanai I go Listen, I can get us a table At the lanai I know, I'm obsessed I'm obsessed I'm already learning so much Two minutes in A lanai the silver glower liver lake lounge you and i were sitting in the back because it doesn't seem like the place that will have a night well it's in the name the silver lake but even that lounge silver lakes you've got kind of right that's true that's true lounge ooh yeah and they really could have the silver lake lanai which is behind and i was sitting with you were so funny and so wonderful and i was in drag and maybe that's why i think we're in a relationship because sometimes when I'm in drag and someone saw nice to me I'm like well we're in love I'm happy that you said that because I come off aggressive people don't take me for nice right and I've joked about this that I'm opposite Ellen in terms of Ellen purports to be kind and nice remember she was dancing yeah but then people said she was a terror to work with well I come off aggressive and rough around the edges but I'm actually a delight I'm actually kind and sweet you can be aggressive and sweet i'm aggressively kind how's that i felt that energy i think you sat on my lap or i sat on yours it was a very we had a very maternal paternal or paternal one of us was the mother one was the father and moment to moment i couldn't tell who was who the son or but in that case right now you feel like the son right but you were my my little girl you've been doing great people say i look like that little boy from Malcolm in the Middle.

7:49Trixie Mattel:Do you see it? And you know, he wasn't available for the reboot. No one called me. He wasn't unavailable. He didn't want to do it. Oh, yeah. I think he's retired from acting. Yeah. I love when people are like, I know. I respect it. Oh, I just retired. I just, yeah, I just love it. Do you watch The Boys on Amazon Prime? I don't. This actress who wasn't in the finale, I was like, why wasn't she in the finale? And they were like, after The Boys, she just retired. Irish actress being like, I'm just gonna go live life. It's wonderful. I think it's so cunty. Do you think you'd ever do it? No. Yeah, for sure.

8:22Trixie Mattel:Maybe today. Kati retired, I guess. Yeah, well, she's having a procedure. I've heard that before. And how does she feel about you that she won't be here when you're here? She went to the hospital to avoid this. I have no idea how she's gonna feel. And you know what? I don't care. You don't care. How's that? How's that? I have to say, we did the Silver Lake Lounge and then literally I feel like I blinked and we were at the Emmys when you were nominated? I was nominated and... I felt like I had to manage your emotions because... You were. I wanted you to win. You wanted you to win. I've never met somebody organically in the wild that then was nominated for an Emmy.

9:01Trixie Mattel:So I was like, this is crazy. For me, it was like... This is our little... This is our girl from the Silver Lake Lounge. From the Lanai. I was on the Lanai and then I was on the Emmy stage. And as you know, it's all rigged. I'm kidding. But I was there with my sister. I was there with my sister, and I was the biggest sore loser. So I lose immediately. I don't know if you watched the ceremony. So I lose immediately. We're the first award up. I'm immediately lost. And we woke up with all the gusto in the world. My sister Chaya and I wake up, and she's like, it's a shoe in. Like, we're already acting like we got the Emmy.

9:36We got the mimosas. You started crying. No, we were like, oh my God, who's even in the cast? Like, it's not even close. And meanwhile, the category is literally Olivia Colman. that's right kravitz it's like insane p.m we're like it's a shoe in so we are beyond surprised to lose like i walk in like i'm already like where am i gonna put the emmy i gotta put it next to my writing emmy we're building a collection now and so we lose immediately my sister goes we don't need this shit pushes me out okay she grabs me by the arm and we're leaving this shit yeah you You can see us, I think, in the... You see us immediately leaving.

10:14That's good. We lose and we leave and we are stewing. And you embraced the stew. We're back in the green room. We're horrified that we lost. It's homophobia. It's antisemitism. I'll throw in transphobia. The whole thing is sick. Meanwhile, Julian Nicholson, who beyond deserves it, won. And if not for me, her for hacks. You know, she was amazing. Fuck her. She was the best, but people, fuck her. Jill, fuck you. I love you so much. She was the best too. But it's like the people, you really were hearing us out. Oh, yeah. You became mommy. Absolutely. Especially to my older sister, because she was like, this is, and you were like, it is, it's disgusting.

10:58Trixie Mattel:It's horrible. It's horrible. I was sitting there in drag, because Kelly and I were presenting for, like, Kelly Mantle was presenting for best sci-fi hairstyling. Which she really should be presenting for best sci-fi face or some shit. Yeah. Like she has like a Law and Order hair on presenting like that sci-fi hair. That's sure. Meanwhile, I'm in this like stacked triple wig that I did the night before. I'm like, no, Kelly, I'll present the Human Haircut Award. Literally. And you do the sci-fi hair award or whatever I did. Yeah. But you were early in the thing. Yep. First award. We were in this little green room.

11:30Trixie Mattel:First loser. I didn't even, I guess, what do they call the non-televised, the creative enemies? Is that what it is? It was the creative enemies, which there's still the Emmys. they always act like that's like the cracker barrel no one cares well nobody does care well i cared until you lost then i was like well this is a sham yeah no it was a sham and then they wanted me even more sick because there's a masochistic vibe there they want me i go we're leaving right so the emmy managers people producers that go oh you're still presenting i had to present cinematography i said no i don't want to do that anymore this is no it's part of the program you got to do the cinematography you know like uh and i was like well my circumstances changed right now my circumstances have changed why so i'm not in the mood and they want me to read what's ever on this teleprompter showing me you got to present i go one thing i know i'm not saying whatever the fuck they have me on there saying right i got out there finally they were like you know we had champagne with you we're calm down two hours later i have to go present now i'm being forced i felt like what kind of a sick they want you to hold an emmy for somebody else that's what i'm saying that could have been yours that's what i'm well i'm giving somebody else an emmy now it's criminal so i get out there and i go i lost there's nothing to say right and it is criminal that they have me presenting contractually right in such a state right and it just for some reason brought the house down it was one of those things that i was like burn it down when i get into a tantrum i'm like i i'm not calm i'm not relaxing i can't de-escalate all i do is escalate right and it just brought the house down i guess the ceremony had been so long in the way that they are that people were just like finally a sore loser that's what i'm just like can we be real like i felt like I remember you came back and it was exciting.

13:27Trixie Mattel:I got to see you beforehand and you came back and I'm going to be honest. You I was actually refreshed by you entered the room like your whole family was murdered. Yeah. And you sat on the couch and you were like kind of in shock. But you felt like you were in shock that you were actually upset about not winning. You had said to me like, I didn't think I cared. And now I lost. And now I'm mad or now upset. Oh, yeah. Because I never even figured it was possible. prepared like from nomination to this like my whole family's oh she's an emmy winner right like who else is it gonna be my brother smooley is like who else is it gonna be there's amazing olivia coleman is you know what i mean so we just didn't even see it was shocking and then it was shocking i cared because i never even thought how am i getting these feelings that It was so foreign.

14:19Trixie Mattel:I did not know. Had you already won an Emmy before this? Yes. Okay. So this is a part of the story that I think we need to add color to, which is you have won an Emmy. Yeah. I've won an Emmy. You don't think I wrote an episode of kids television for PBS that won an Emmy? Wake up. Wake up. Which is also the name of my Netflix special, which is doing very well. Check it out. I don't check emails. Enjoy. It's your own risk. I just was like, I did feel bad about you not winning until I yesterday Googled that you had already won one to which I have two things. One, I'm sort of like, well, now we can't say that it's rigged because you have one.

14:57Trixie Mattel:That's true. So if we say it's rigged, then that one doesn't mean anything. We can't say anything. First of all, I'm wrong. Right. That's the whole thing. OK, I'm going to look for any excuse that isn't me. I'm not going to say my performance, you know, before I say, oh, somebody had a better performance than me. I'll say it's antisemitism. It's this. I like to defer blame for a long time before I go, Rob, did somebody do better than you? Right. All fair. It's fair. All fair. I'm being a baby and I need my tantrum. I'm the same way if I'm sad. I throw radio head on. I'm like, I'm like, we're in sad.

15:35We're going. I don't try and pep up. I don't try and put on something peppy. I go in. When I'm thrilled, I got girls just want to have fun. I lean in.

15:49Trixie Mattel:Right. If I'm thrilled, I'm driving. If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. Right. So you're seeing in real time, it's not like with the Emmys, it's not like stand-up or acting or writing where I get a lot of practice. right writing i can't well i can't read what i wrote 10 years ago it's abysmal stand-up i can't even i shudder at the thought of what i was talking about right because i've had so much practice with the emmys you get to go once every god knows when you maybe have three you know i went i had an emmy i had no experience it's not like i get to build up a muscle of losing an emmy right because you'd never lost before well yes i had been nominated with the team before right on squad but we didn't win but i wasn't on that emmy and then when i was on the emmy we won the emmy is how i believe it was so yes i didn't have this experience right i had experience with the show the kids show that i worked on losing but it wasn't as personal right this felt personal and vindictive.

16:58Right. Robbie Hoffman. Right. Lost. Not the show. Right. And it made me sick. And in fact, the show won as it deserved to. Hacks for Julian Nicholson. And she was the best. She loved me to be a baby. And I said, I'm such a baby and I'm so happy for you. I have a different recollection. She's so good.

17:13Trixie Mattel:I remember being backstage and seeing your name on an award. I remember seeing like a lot of like. Oh, good. And then they kind of wiped the name off and changed it. That's what I saw. Oh, OK. See the plot thickens. Hello. The plot thickens. Did you end up having wine out of Kelly Mantle's purse? Is that where we got the wine? It was dry back there. Girl. You know why? Because they had drag queens. And they're like, we can't very well. You were the best part of that green room. And also the people from the pit. Yeah. She was amazing. And her husband. And they won, but they were still into a stew.

17:52Like the green room was, there was nothing. first of all my sister spent 400 on the top she's like i've come all the way for arizona for this

17:58Trixie Mattel:right it's an hour away by the way it's an hour away it was like a conference room with like too much crudite and coffee coffee where's the booze champagne nothing we had to scour it yeah kelly mantle had a long black purse that was shaped like a wine bottle guess what was in it she brought wine i love that room 10. no you guys were shaking hand and poured it in and also those two women from hunting wiser they were incredible what beauty is my god they were so gorgeous malin and um britney yeah no really hot i never go up to people but i did have to go up to two people in there well in it first of all that is the kind of room it's okay it's not kind of going up to right because that's the whole point of it you're at a networking thing you're at the fucking emmys they stick you in a room with a bunch of people who are nominated and have good right to be there right and you're supposed to say hello it's fair game to say hello it's something like this i went to the vanity fair party and i really wanted to say you know like gab is the kind of person like you like she's just she doesn't give a shit about anyone she's like when can i go home and sleep well like i'll do an hour i'll have a couple ciggies and i want to go home and sleep and i do the hell you know what i mean because that's the only time it's fair game you could go up to anyone you want you go up to nicole kidman nicole you smell lovely moving on moving on you all now literally it's like who cares right that is what you've signed up for when you go to one of these parties you're not being paid you gotta get paid in some way you're not being paid in any other way why shouldn't i run home and tell my family that she smelled amazing yeah really do you drink you drink right i do but my wife doesn't oh so you gotta kind of like have dignity about it she'll smoke she's fine she just okay she doesn't care She'll put you home in a wheelbarrow.

19:48She's like, you know, and people, you know, and it was the first time that people are coming up to me. What I found is I was always that person at the party. Like, you know, not that I'm specifically, but you get stuck in conversations with people. So many people were like, Robbie, I loved your special. And I said, see, now it's happening. I'm not mad when it's happening to me.

20:05Trixie Mattel:No, it's great. Am I mad when somebody beautiful, the guy who played, oh, he played in the Kennedy, that show that just happened with, what's his name? uh carolyn bassett and um you know i haven't seen that sounds serious girl what's the kennedy show called love story is he stunning he comes up to me the lesbians said he's stunning yeah no but because i have to objectively i could say somebody is gorgeous right uh what's his name from twilight that came up to me The fellas are loving me I heard he lives in my neighborhood And I'm always like on the secret watch You know, I am not even like a Twilight person But if I go to, for some reason when you go to a hotel It's going to be playing on the TV And I always am like, well it's on Let it play Hotel TV, it's a calming I want something so ambient That I will not be convinced Ambient, yeah, ambient and lanai Those are my two takeaways so far

21:17Most ice cream is good, but not Jenny's.

21:21Trixie Mattel:Jenny's ice cream is more like an obsession. What you get from over two decades of tasting and tweaking and throwing it out and starting over, chasing flavors until they feel alive. That might sound crazy, and that's because it is. Jenny's. Often imitated, never duplicated, always splendid. Robby how did you figure out that this was your calling because my god you're talking about people coming up to you and saying they love you I imagine that you were pretty universally loved you must have figured out pretty early that this is what you were supposed to do well no we never I never had any dreams I never had hopes or dreams we weren't taught you know um to want anything yeah like we were taught that it was like not gonna happen like we should just lay low and try and get a job university my mother told us school's not for everyone she told us that a lot um and dream well honey you know and it was already pretty disappointing i mean i was born in new york which if you you know you're like okay that sounds pretty good pretty lucky i didn't say that no that's but that's you know and then i'm like i found out i'm jewish that's okay that's looking up they're doing pretty well when did your family and then it's like poor on welfare it was like how did we fumble this bag but we you know we were from a very large orthodox jewish family sure and we were not on the rich side like we just missed the boat on so many things like we're in the weirdest pocket of a community that otherwise i think was doing very well so i think it's a harsh stereotype that a lot all jewish people are rich because let me tell you that's that's not true right but here's the thing a lot are why are you yelling at me no because we were so close it pisses me off as a child how did this happen to us right well i was literally so close i was so close so so it started there right it started there and then as a kid i remember being like 10 years old and you know we had cockroaches and and and cellophane on the windows for the cold and i was just like i gotta get out of here like there's no way this is i i gotta get out and i just felt like i had nothing like i literally like that's not fair you had the cockroaches yeah exactly you had the cellophane exactly you know what sometimes it's all about perspective you could be like some people don't even have cellophane they don't even some people cockroaches are dead i know so i just felt like so whatever and then i realized at some point well i have close to nothing but not nothing i have me and the roaches oh yeah so that's when i was like what could i do with this little i i didn't even really want but i it was my only thing i had the only card i could play was me you know and it's not for everyone to be born this and to be this it's a unique weird one to get you know if god or whoever is assigning bodies and souls and he's going rob this one's for you and i'm going really i love that kind of sidearm he's like get out there good luck and i'm like it's a really particular type of person the way that's the to skip like like in the water yeah yeah and there i am and it's like i've done well for what it is what i've been i don't think everybody could do me you know like i was given this and i think i've i've steered it pretty well i've done the best i could with what i was given and i think i actually did better than people like we didn't you know such a particular one to have to guide and steer and drive, but the car works and drives and I just kept updating it and I kept repairing it and I kept making it as good as it could be.

25:03And we got here. I never knew of standup really or anything. I grew up in a very funny family. I think when you don't have like tons of material stuff, you have yourselves, you have funny, you have, you know, making fun of each other, you know, didn't matter what you had. If you were slow, you know, my brother has special needs and we may, you know we're like he's on the blue button like psychotic right he would yell at us you know my brother my other brother was overweight he would call him fat like we just went there all the time and we just developed thick skin and our personalities which is like you know a blind person who has a better sense of smell or something like that so um i didn't really know of it all i wanted as a child my only hope and dream was money i really liked money from a young age

25:51Trixie Mattel:you believed it would like feel good it would yeah yeah i thought it would be great and by the way having some of it now it's even better than i ever thought oh my god it's great i hate to say that but it's one of the best things well and i always thought it was like god you just you kind of just need some of that yeah you do need some of that you need you need and i wanted a lot of it right i wanted extreme like we're going here i i couldn't see myself happier for under a million what kind of fancy shit do you like to buy like what what's your splurge i just like having it what do you mean oh you just like to look at it touch it i like having the money and sleeping cool i like things like that my splurge is again i don't buy many things but i buy good things you asked me about my glasses my glasses i got maybe 12 13 14 years ago now um they were on a teddy bear in the window of the optometrist no they had some sort of a holiday display i don't know you were say like build a bear like i had like i had these toy glasses but they had like glasses on shelves and then they had a teddy bear like a small teddy wearing these and i said i think those would fit me because i have a very small head you actually have a very narrow you we i feel like we're similar i wish mine was narrower oh my god is it not i love your head yeah so i have a small head and then they were children's glasses they were children's glasses so they fit perfect but then I had to haggle it down.

27:12I got them for$3.50, which at the time, glasses are so expensive. They really are. And this is before the Warby Parker and Lens. This was like you have to go to a specialized place for glasses, at least in Montreal at the time. It was all wrapped up in the medical. So I get the glasses for$3.50, and I'm still wearing them. And they still look great. I take very good care of my things. It goes in this case. These are my prescription sunglasses, and I'm always swapping. I've never not taking I don't buy many things but I buy very good things and I want them to last and I can like things forever I think it's the reason I love marriage I like just like I love Gabby forever I do that it's not unique to her of course I'm obsessed with her and I love that I found that in my wife but I'm the same way with my watch with my glasses with a car I'll just use it until I can't Like I will go the distance with it.

28:07I will update, fix, repair and repair, but I'll buy something good that you can do that with. So just having that, also being able to help family and just like feel okay is just amazing. I do like what it's like,

28:25Trixie Mattel:I have a sibling or something. I'm like, you need a tooth pulled because I got you financially. I got you. I got you. I got you. It's amazing. It's really nice. I mean, that's something that like when you're when you're young and you worry about money and also i don't know about you but i always just felt so embarrassed of being over the worst of course i felt embarrassed people over embarrassed if it was like a school function and we needed money and i would feel like embarrassed of my clothes i had an older brother so it was handed down like no i was hideous i had nothing to wear now i like look back and i'm like wow nobody was making me feel ashamed of being poor but i I remember just full time feeling like, is anybody going to know that I'm deeply poor?

29:06Everybody made me feel bad about being poor. And we were very poor, but we had other poor kids. I grew up in a neighborhood. We'd be like, well, you're on food stamps. So sorry, you bitch. It's like, we're both fucking poor. It's like, so you're, you know, people would say your father beats your mother. It's like, yeah, like, you know what I mean? Like there was no low that you could not go. But yeah, I also then went to this Jewish school and I'm not shading. It was an amazing school. And my mother thought it would be a great opportunity. They took me for free. It was a nice private school that I would take the bus to.

29:36And my mother really like would get down on my left and be like, this is a good opportunity for you. Like, don't mess this up. Because I was a troublemaker and whatever. She really was begging me to take it. She's like, you know what a good opportunity this is for you to go to this school? And your brothers are in this school, not school. Just please. You know, because I couldn't just lay low in school. I always was causing problems.

29:58Trixie Mattel:like Robbie visits with neighbors. Are you a disturber in class? Yeah, it was a shit disturber. I processed it. I had funny things to say and I wanted to tell the people around me. Yeah. Like, I know you're working, but I just thought of something so funny. I know you don't even like me, but guess what just happened? Because we didn't have the material. We really, and that became my asset. It's a tough room in grades K to 12. It's terrible. It's a tough room. It's a long, tight five. It's terrible. And also the teachers, you know, we had pop quizzes that I objected to. I said a pop quiz is just so, whoa ha ha we got you what's this gotcha moment just tell me when the fucking quiz is so i can read the book and know the answers this is ridiculous that's what upset me was the homework the whole thing was like so my mother'd be like just do it and i just i had i had authority problems i had anger management i just the whole thing i saw yeah exactly so i'm still that way and in the end i've been able to monetize it and quite well thank god by the grace of god

31:00Trixie Mattel:Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for$15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made$15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy see terms can i ask you a question about marriage yeah i really feel like when you know you know did you know immediately that you were going to marry her yeah you know i wasn't the little girl who always dreamed of getting married obviously you could tell but um i just it felt like the one loophole to me because when i was a kid i really hated a lot of my family my brothers we were very violent in the house i mean at one point we were 10 kids you know we were 10 kids in 12 years so at one point it was like eight teenagers living nine people i have nine siblings yeah holy shit yeah from the city that feels i'm from the country that's some country shit no it really is happier in the in the country i think so i would have been happier anyway and siblings in the country it's like oh hey yeah no it was really bad we were living in like you know a duplex and with apartments and everything how do you explain that to people what is christmas like with nine fucking siblings we don't do christmas because we're jewish although can i say i've been to a lot of jewish christmases yeah but they're not see but they weren't the jews that we were right see we're doing we're putting our money where our mouth is we're doing the jewish torah the bible we're doing all this shit and you're out here selling out and doing your fucking christmas and we gotta be poor we gotta be poor the religious ones it's like criminal it's criminal and now i've done christmas i've had three christmases in fact these what do you think brought his sneakers which i've wanted my whole life i'm reliving the childhood gabby and i try and give ourselves the childhoods that i love that i always wanted these she got me these for christmas they're so cute so hard with christmas i'm all about christmas i've i've now said i mean i'm not christian i love christmas it's amazing i can't help it i get into the decor i become a gay girl i have vintage things and ornaments and i have the what's your tree look like you have a tree we get a true we get a real tree i like the smell yes give me that fucking do you also like pine needles in your foot bitch no i don't have any we're very neat can i tell you what happened to me this year and the people on the pod know this it was february i know i say that word weird february but it's spelled no way no they have to stop that february sure february i walked outside my fucking house end of february and there's a goddamn real tree on the curb who throws their tree out after valentine's day is that too soon or too late are you kidding i'm very new that should be gone second week of january oh no we keep it whenever what oh if it's healthy i'm saying if it looks good i'll keep it when it starts dying i get rid of it if i had halloween stuff out in december i hate how people would tell me i was crazy halloween stuff is ugly christmas stuff is pretty halloween is ugly it's not aesthetically you don't like spooky you don't like witchy i don't like the orange i don't think it's the nicest color right the halloween that the kind of shade i like the fall orange more of the burnt orange sure but once you get into that plastic pumpkin orange and the plastic stuff no can do not pretty i like the aesthetic look of christmas stuff i was with a jewish man for like seven years and i got to do hanukkah and it was so fun and lovely yeah but there's nothing but i was like a p flag mom where when it was time to light the candles i'm like filming i'm like oh yeah no it's good i was making a bigger deal out of it than than a card-carrying jewish person was like it's really just like lighting candles like say the prayer i'm like say it this is amazing you should be so proud i know my birthday is in december so i always had chanukah fell the same time as my birthday many years and my mother would give me i always got jude out of my present because she would give 20 if it was your birthday or 10 whatever whatever she decided cash she gave cash or a gift card to the pharmacy did you guys do tooth fairy we did for a while but it's very traumatic is it different okay we have a few stories remind me of this the tooth fairy my wife being married to her and family and then um um my birthday so i'll do my birthday then tooth fairy birthday i got a combined hanukkah birthday card okay but with 20 bucks in it but i'm like but ma it should be 40.