Kelly Mantle Demands More Glamour and Less Clamor with Trixie

20:50Huh?

20:50Trixie Mattel:Having a pet get old is a privilege. It means you took really good care, right? Oh, absolutely. Well, we found her when I was in college. So I had her her whole adult life. Yeah. Found her in the middle of a rainstorm. We hung up signs everywhere, vet clinics, everything. Couldn't find the owners. So it just kind of happened to you. You weren't looking. Totally. She came to me. Is that how you found James too? Mm-hmm. Is it a storm? I found him in the wanted ads. I know we talked about this one time when you were on here, but does James have some kind of foggy idea that you are at one time a huge slut?

21:21Trixie Mattel:I think he's starting to figure that out. Because I think he has you on like Stepford Wife setting But he doesn't know that the other setting Is like Stripper circus I mean listen at the end of the day The true heart of a slut never leaves a slut Even though she might not Be active in that way I'm always going to be a slut through and through Honey The mind of a slut, the heart of a slut, the booty of a slut The moves of a slut Mind of a slut The music of a slut Honey I will always Be serving slut I think you need to go visit Katya in the hospital If you go in in this outfit She's gonna think that you're the angel of death Honey I will totally show up She'd probably welcome that Honey at this point She's not loving being in a hospital And she's not living and loving Visitors Because she's so uncomfortable And she's in pain she hates it But I think if you go in Let's go.

22:22Trixie Mattel:I almost went and dragged the other day. Like a Ronald McDonald house vibe. Girl, can you imagine? The nurses on the floor would be freaking the fuck out if Trixie Mattel came in there. It reminded me of the episode of Reno 911 where they go to entertain the kids at the hospital and she pulls out her gun and she's like, it's not loaded. And then it goes off. That would be me. That would be me. Girl, you have to go. I have a question because you know that I have a weird parasocial relationship with Denise Richards. And I know that you have a Denise Richards story. Girl, I don't know if I can tell the Denise Richards story.

22:57How do you know I have a Denise Richards story? John Mark told me. Shut up. John Mark told me. Is it good or is it crazy? No, it's insane. It's absolutely insane. But, okay, I won't mention any names. But I have a friend.

23:12Trixie Mattel:We already said Denise Richards. Well, no, I'm talking about my friend. Oh, okay. That the story's about. Okay, my friend. We won't mention any names. My friend Okay, how do I say this? My friend came over to my house one day I'm just going to start from the end of the story My friend came over to my house one day Panicking, banging on the door I opened the door and I was like What is wrong with you? And she said, do you have a wig? And do you have an overcoat? And do you have sunglasses? Give me your cell phone now And she goes and puts our cell phones On the stove, in a skillet And puts a lid on them What?

23:47And I'm like, first of all I didn't even know I owned a skillet with a lid. Because I don't do anything like that.

23:55Trixie Mattel:Why are you not reacting? If someone put my cell phone in a skillet, I would intervene. I was like, what is wrong with you? What are you doing? And she said, people can't track our phones this way. And I'm like, what is going on? And she said, just give me the disguise. Don't ask any questions. I got to go. What? The only thing she would tell me is that Denise Richards was after her. Okay, this is sounding like a drug thing. No, it wasn't. It's because my friend doesn't do drugs. I follow this girl on Instagram who thinks that Sandra Bullock is trying to kill her. No. And I don't think she's...

24:28Trixie Mattel:Sandra Bullock just doesn't get those vibes. There is this... No, it's not a drug thing. She was being for real, for real. But come to find out, Denise had been stalking her for years because of this mutual man that they both knew. And so she had to go downtown in a disguise to drop off something, but thought that Denise Richards was following her. I just feel like unless you're in a movie, a disguise is never the move. Do you have an overcoat and a wig? Unless you're RuPaul. Well, she loves the disguise. I feel like RuPaul walks around in a weird disguise all the time. Do you know about the time she came to see Trixie and Katya high school reunion?

25:13Trixie Mattel:No. Katya and I were doing a stage parody of Romy Michelle with Peach's Christ. Oh, up in San Francisco. Yes. And it was Trixie and Katya's high school reunion. Like a parody of if Katya and I went to high school together. But it's the plot of Romy Michelle. Because we love Romy Michelle. Who doesn't? Before curtain, Peach's comes backstage and goes, RuPaul's here. Don't tell anybody in the cast because we don't want people to freak out. By the time I walk out of my dressing room, the entire cast is like, RuPaul's here. word travels like that and I'm like she is? that's crazy but I had gotten a text earlier that day from someone at Drag Race being like RuPaul's in town she wants to see her show I was like sure apparently she comes in last like right when the show starts she was in a sun hat a COVID mask and a wheelchair a wheelchair?

26:01Trixie Mattel:because I think she's so recognizable tall I think it was like to hide out oh my gosh Yes. And I did not see her, but this is what I heard is that she was in like a proper disguise to see the show. And I guess the thing is, RuPaul's so big. Right. When you're seven feet tall, you can't even secretly do nothing. Not at all. Tall people. Not at all. All bald people. It's like every room is an announcement that you're there. Right. Exactly. Don't ask me how I know. I know because I saw Leslie Jordan live one time there at the Gay and Lesbian Center. Opposite of tall. Renberg Theater but RuPaul came to see Leslie and of course Ru you know everyone notices Ru right away not exactly yes sometimes people like when I used to go to Casita de Campo I remember that I remember I seen Sean Hayes there a few times and it would be like someone like that where you're like this room full of people to see Lady Bunny they're gonna notice Sean Hayes exactly the Lady Bunny audience is gonna notice honey I saw Jackie Beat there one time and guess who was sitting one seat over from me Parker Posey with Liza Minnelli Oh fierce girl Are you fucking kidding me In Casita del Campo with like 20 people 70 seats 40 seats Huge fire hazard You better hope there's never An accident in that basement When I perform I want to perform In a place that is a fire hazard It just raises the stakes And you're smoking The outfits are very dry Did you ever smoke cigarettes I bet you did I bet you loved it too I bet it was very like bad sandy Like, tell me about it.

27:37Girl. Did you feel it, girl? You know she smoked those brown moors, honey. Those long skinny ones, honey. Did you feel it? Oh, girl. I'd sit there and flick that. The world was my asshole, honey. The world was my asshole. I'd just sit there and flick everywhere.

27:52Trixie Mattel:Everywhere. If I was like, I think if I was like femme presenting, there would be something about smoking that would feel hot. Oh, it's so hot. To me, like, it's just not sexy when men do it. I think it's sexy when girls do it at band. They're all like this and hold it like this. And they got filters on it. And they're like, you know. And they know. I was always like one that would tilt back and blow my smoke out, you know, from people. And guys are just like right in your face. Men are just, they can't help it. They're hot. They're hot.

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28:59Trixie Mattel:When I was in college You know what got really big? Those clove cigarettes Do you remember this? Yes They came in like a black container Clove and white Russian And the cigarettes were also rainbow They were clove and they were rainbow And do you remember? Everyone just smelled like ham Ham? Do you remember clove cigarettes Kind of smell like ham or something? I thought they smelled like black licorice Oh, I always thought they smelled Kind of like someone seasoning Like a Thanksgiving dinner or some shit What are you putting on your ham? Girl, I don't eat ham So I don't know I'm not a good judge That's true Because I don't eat ham.

29:29When did you stop eating meat? About 10 o 'clock this morning. Hello.

29:36Trixie Mattel:I was nine years old. Nine years old? I was obsessed with that movie, Charlotte's Web. The cartoon with... Not Denise Richards. I almost said that. Denise Richards is in Charlotte's Web. No. Oh, the other real housewife? Carrie Fisher's mom. Carrie Fisher's mom. Oh. Debbie Reynolds. Debbie... No, that's the mom. That's what I just said. Carrie Fisher's mom is Debbie Reynolds. she was in Charlotte's way is there an echo in here? she's the voice of Charlotte I didn't know that twinkle, sparkle, let a little sun shine in that's Debbie Reynolds you'll be on the right side looking on the right side you know she was all popped up on pills doing that it's a beautiful film and it made me it completely made it impossible for me to separate animals from what's on the plate that is interesting that did not have that effect on me obviously I was terrified of spiders after seeing that reading about it and stuff.

30:28I'm still not into spiders. Do you remember Where the Red Fern Grows? The book? Girl. I read that book. They had to take me out of the room I was crying so hard. I cried. Child abuse. To death. Child abuse. When that dog died.

30:41Trixie Mattel:You know what's crazy? I remember the line, his friendly brown eyes closed forever. Shut up. You're going to make me cry on your podcast. I was in eighth grade. I think I was, no, I was on a school trip. No, no, no. My grandparents took me to Disney World. And I had to do my homework on the way because you miss a week a school or whatever you have to do homework. And I was reading Where the Red Fern Grows, crying in the back of a Ford Explorer on the way to Florida. Like, oh. No. That is a sad book. It is so sad. They read it in class. I had to be taken out of the room because I could not control my crying.

31:11Trixie Mattel:People dying? Sure. Dogs dying? No. Box car children didn't care. Didn't care. Well, they didn't die, Kelly. Oh, they didn't? Their parents were dead. Oh, no. That's why they lived in a box car. Oh, really? Yeah, it was kind of... Is that a true story? I think they were orphans, weren't they? Oh, my God. Weren't the boxcar children orphans? That is wild. Look it up, Tracy. Can you imagine? She don't even know what the boxcar children are. First of all, do you read? Yes. You do? I'm an avid reader. What do you like to read? I like to read biographies, autobiographies, things like that. I just read.

31:47Trixie Mattel:I've been really into horror again. I love to read horror, but I get scared. I have nightmares. I just read this book called Mother Thing. What? It's about this woman. Her husband. Her husband's mother kills herself. What? They've been living with and taking care of the mother-in-law. Husband's mother. Okay. They've been living in the husband's childhood home, taking care of the mother-in-law, who's really crazy. She slits her wrist and kills herself. The book starts with them at the hospital being like, your mother's dead. Why are you reading stuff like this? I was reading it. Honey. So then.

32:22Trixie Mattel:I'm worried about you. She's trying to help her husband process grief. The mother starts haunting them. She's being haunted by her mother-in-law. The twist, I will say the twist, nobody's going to read it. So you're in that big old haunted house. Reading this book. You've got the raven out there eating birds. Girl. And you're reading about this. Scary. Honey, this is dark-sided. Very scary. And the twist of the book is that she's crazy. Huh? The twist of the book is that the wife is crazy. You think? I think? It's not necessarily. But you know, that's a lot of the themes in paranormal things, which is like, is it paranormal or are you losing grip with reality?

32:59Trixie Mattel:No. You know, it was really scary, though. I was, it was nauseating and sick. It was making me sick. But I keep going on these TikTok wormholes of like the most disturbing horror books you could read. And then I'm like, I don't mean that. No. I need to get my body off the tracks. No, honey. No, I keep my reading. I just, I was reading a Sandra Bernhardt book that I had not read before. and I can't remember the name of it. It came out after Without You I'm Nothing. But it was so good. But she talks, Madonna is in The Little Thing, said this book saved my life. Because remember when they were friends?

33:34Madonna and who? Sandra Bernhardt.

33:36Trixie Mattel:Oh, they were friends, right? Yeah. Weren't they like besties? Good Judys, uh-huh. They were good Judys. I saw Madonna the other night at the Abbey. Oh, yes, I heard about that. Girl. How was it? Honey, listen. It was really a who's who. It was crazy Can we talk about these events though? You show up to these events And everyone is stressed The fuck out Yeah And we need more glamour and less clamour Oh I love that More glamour Less clamour You don't have to say it because I will Because everyone hates me But everyone loves you You're America's sweetheart If you're at one of these events And you do not have a wig on You need to be fluffing a pillow You need to be rolling out a carpet.

34:22Trixie Mattel:Everyone's a PA. If you're not a wig on, you're a PA. You're involved in making sure the rest of us get in here. Exactly. And sit down somewhere and there's a fan. Is there a drink? Am I comfortable? Am I well lit? Even getting from the car in is never fast enough. The whole night was just clamoring. Clamoring. I got clamored to get in the door. I got clamored to get to the bar to get a drink. I got clamored in space. People freak out because you're there too, right? Well, I mean, there's a bunch of people there. And yeah, like everyone's, you know, I mean, it's lovely and it's wonderful. And the energy is chaotic and great.

34:59But the minute the music starts, enjoy the moment. Enjoy the phone down. Everyone is trying so hard to clamor. And we're talking like Queens all the way in the very back. I was like, if you start now, you'll never make it. You'll never get closer to her. What are you doing? Where are you going? What is it you need?

35:17Trixie Mattel:And is your plan to run on stage with her? What is the plan? Just hold your champagne glass up in the air and dance and enjoy the moment. Get your little picture and video, then put your phone away and enjoy the moment. We need more glamour, less clamour, honey. Luscious was there too, right? Luscious was there. Kylie Sonique was there. Luscious was right there. I love all the pictures of her just sitting there, just like adorning Madonna. Yeah. While she's at the DJ booth. Julia Fox was there. Julia Fox and Kylie Sonique were dancing on the couch that I think Eureka was dancing on for a minute.

35:45And then evidently they pulled Eureka out and kicked her out of the club.

35:50Trixie Mattel:I heard about that. Which I made the stupid decision to try to go to the bathroom in the middle of the set. And on my way to the bathroom, I saw Eureka and she's like, girl, what's up? And we hugged. She said, I love you. I went on my way. I never knew this was happening to her. You had her kicked out. Honey, I had her kicked out. It was my fault. Blame it on Madonna. She gave you a hug. Kelly said. I said, get her out of here. Get her out of here. Goddamn son of a bitch. What kind of songs did Madonna sing? She didn't sing anything. They just played like her new songs. She just danced next to Stuart on the tracks.

36:25And they did Hung Up. Cool. I think they debuted a new one. But like I said, I had made the stupid decision to go to the bathroom in the middle of it. And so I got slammed and pushed up against a brick wall and a barricade. And I was stuck there the whole rest of the show. You see how you disrespect Kelly Mantle? Honey. It's the Abbey. Oh, but girl, I was living though because there was this big old tall drag queen standing next to me. She's like, I guess we're stuck here for the night. And I was like, I guess so. And she's like, here you go. She had a little bottle of poppers. Do you do poppers, Kelly?

36:57Honey, I've never done poppers before. Except one time on the podcast with Willem and I didn't know there were real poppers. What do you think of it? Honey.

37:04Trixie Mattel:Describe the experience. I felt free. I don't like it. I feel so free. It feels hot. It feels claustrophobic. I don't know. No, I just did like one little snort. Or it's not a snort. It's just like a, you know, you just breathe it in. What I think is funny when people pull those out at the club. I loved it. It's like, it's not like you have to be this close to smell it. So everyone in your five foot radius is now doing poppers. Really? I just feel like. I didn't know they were still a thing. I didn't know they were so popular. I think it's the trickle down economy. I think straight people are on it now.

37:37Trixie Mattel:Have you ever done them? Yeah. But I don't see the appeal. No I really don't Well see I feel that way about cocaine I've tried coke a few times in my life And I'm like oh give me I was like give me I'm not feeling nothing Except agitated My nose holes are too big Like a bump could kill me Your nose hole Girl Can you imagine I just I don't know But no I appreciated that popper at that moment Because if you're going to be slammed up against a brick wall in a barricade And you're missing the whole last half of Madonna and only hearing it Yeah I was like well now I can get into this Lately, I've just been sitting home a lot, but I keep getting invited to things.

38:16Trixie Mattel:I've become so antisocial, and I'm starting to feel like I wish I was more. When I first moved to L.A., I went to everything. I went out all the time, went out to dinner all the time. Lately, I just like to stay home. Well, honey, you're turning over. You're in a new chapter in your life. I guess. You're enjoying the hard work and success that you have put in continuously, nonstop, for how many years now? Ten years since Drag Race? And, of course, before that. But you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So you get a chance to sit back and relax and enjoy it all and take it all in and be like, this is great, you know?

38:53I mean, you need to do that from time to time.

38:56Trixie Mattel:You know what I think it is, too? I think it's because pride is coming. my body's clenching. Do you have a lot of DJ gigs coming up? My body's like, if you want to go out and have a drink you will be able to do that for about three straight months when you work every weekend at all these faggoty events. So I think my body's like why don't you just sit home and have a glass of water you bitch. You bald bitch. Why don't you just order some Taco Bell and sit down. Order some Taco Bell. I'll come over, honey. I've been playing PlayStation a lot. We'll play tarot cards. Do you? You're a gamer. You like that stuff, don't you?

39:28Trixie Mattel:Lately, literally this morning, I woke up at 7.30, couldn't sleep anymore. And I was like, my boyfriend's not up yet. I'm going to tiptoe downstairs on Christmas morning. I'm going to order some tea and sit and play video games at 8 in the morning. It was a nice way to start the day. I used to watch the news in the morning and now I just play video games. No, honey, that strategizes you. Your mind gets into strategy. It helps make it wakes my mind up in a way that I'm agreeable to. Yes. I've noticed for me, if I have a Zoom at like 10 and I get up at 930, I'm so ornery and useless on that Zoom.

40:01Trixie Mattel:I'm getting to a point in my life where I need to boot up the machine hours before anybody needs me. I'm the same way. The minute that when I get up, I'll have a cup of coffee and I'll just kind of like take in everything. And then I have at least 20 minutes of meditation, staring at a blank white wall and listening to Enya, Enigma, something like that. that doesn't have any words and it just lets you free your mind. It's so important to do that, I think, especially at the beginning of a day so that you can kind of become a blank canvas and take it all in. Maybe I'm getting old, but I like this moment of thinking about the day.

40:46Trixie Mattel:Mentally making peace with whatever the day is going to be. Whereas if I wake up and I'm still a little bit sleepy, I can't be fucking, it puts me in a bad mood that doesn't go away all day. Because especially these times we're living in, honey, we have to center ourselves, focus ourselves, take care of ourselves and be our best. Because every time we walk out that door, honey, it's a front line. How do you lock in on taking care of Kelly? Well, I start by doing that usually every day. That always centers me and focuses me. I go to the gym. I make the gym my priority I need at least 30 minutes of cardio And then some light lifting A good sauna I love swimming Keeping active, staying active Keeping your mind acting I'm a great swimmer Do you listen to music in there?

41:36Yes honey, oh yes Absolutely You have music in your ears while swimming? Oh no, not music in my ears In your mind? Many times music is playing

41:48Trixie Mattel:You singing, we just hear like water bubbles. You know, that is my dream someday is to do a music podcast. Because one of my favorite things in the world to do is to just break down songs. Where did it come from? Why did you write this? Albums, all the things, music videos. Oh, yeah. Jake Shears, did you see his podcast? Speaking of Scissor Sisters. No, but I love him. Oh, my God. He had a music podcast or he might still have it. He did? It's so good. Yeah. Jacob. I love the Scissor Sisters. Yeah, I do too. Kids today don't know about the fucking Scissor Sisters. Girl, I saw them live at the, what's that, Across from Capital Records, where we just had the Queerities?

42:27Trixie Mattel:Oh, the Queerities. Oh, my God. I don't think it was called Avalon, but I saw Scissor Sisters there when they first came out. You looked great at the Queerities. Thank you. You looked really beautiful. You came out and it was so fun. So did you. You hosted the night and it was hilarious and you looked gorgeous. And you won. Can you believe it? They don't tell me anything about who's going to win, so I found out when you found out. I found out when you found out, standing backstage, John Mark and I were leaving because I had did that little bit with you on stage. Then we're like going back to our seats and the producer's like, you need to stick around.

42:58It's your category. And I was like, oh, honey, we probably didn't win. We're just going to go grab a drink, go back to our seats. He's like, actually. And then I hear the Kelly Mantle show. Were you surprised? I was so surprised. I was like, wait, what? Kelly, you have no idea what we're doing.

43:12Trixie Mattel:That is not true. When Kelly started, when you started it, you told me and Katya, like, should I do this? What am I going to talk about? No, I think you verbatim said, who's going to want to hear me talk? Exactly. Why did you not think that? I feel like for those of us who are fans of you, that is what we want. I don't know how to talk. I'm not a good talker. I'm actually very, very quiet and shy in life. So you always say that? I am. But you're always horrid out of your mind, talking, drinking, gesturing with a cigarette. No, I'm not. Kelly's like, I'm a shrinking violet. Girl, I don't know. Because the other thing that's hard for me, too, having been an actor my whole life, I've never had to be Kelly Mantle on camera before.

43:55Okay. And that is really difficult to do. Like, you're a pro at being Tracy Mattel on camera.

44:01Trixie Mattel:That's the only thing I know how to do. I don't know how. I was like, how am I supposed to do this? Well. And they're like, well, just be yourself. And I'm like, well, what if you're a hundred different people from one day to the next? I've been watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills from the beginning. Don't ask. Don't ask. I don't know. I don't know. You mean the new one? Oh, you mean from the beginning? I'm on season five. I'm watching it from the beginning. Oh, wow. And Eileen is on it right now, who is a - The soap actress? Yes. She has multiple daytime Emmys. She's been on 30 years of that show.

44:32Trixie Mattel:That big old house. But I actually thought of you because one of the questions Andy asked her at the reunion was, Eileen like basically asking her what was it like to go from your decades of experience acting to reality TV and she was saying like the reason I did it was because I'm so comfortable on camera after all these years like I wanted something that would scare me and her talking about how like Andy was like when you're on your show you have your line they tell you where to hit your mark I never really thought about for people who are aren't used to reality that is like such a hard pivot it is and podcasting is kind of reality it really is both well and that's why rupaul's drag race was so scary to me so i didn't realize it until i got there that i was like oh wait a minute i have to be kelly mantle oh yeah i didn't even think of that before i came here and i'm like i've never done that before other than like a little interview here and there throughout the years or whatever i was like wait i don't know how to do this yeah i was like you know i was like oh shit well there is that moment like when i remember when i first started doing drag i was not hosting the drag when you start doing drag you're not the host you're just some girl doing a lip sync or whatever and the host was she was a body queen and she was spray adhesiving fabric to her body you know some of the naked girls just stick fabric to their parts honey carmen carrera yes and she's like i need you to stall on and i remember being like I never talked to the microphone like that No way But I always think back to that formative moment of just I didn't have time to be nervous Right I just had to walk out there and talk Well and look at you now I mean that's crazy that like you were handed a microphone and we were like wait what do I do?

46:16Trixie Mattel:But I had only lip synced before I thought that I was I thought what I offered was beauty and seductive movement Well you weren't wrong So then when I was like talking and then afterward the girl was like that was funny you should do more microphone stuff and I was like maybe but there are these moments like Drag Race where you are an actor and you get thrown into something I watched an interview clip today of you talking about being on Drag Race you trying to tell the cameras where to go girl listen now I wasn't trying to tell them where to go I heard you were telling them which side was your best side and to go over here they were setting things up she did oh wait what I guess it was on this pod oh it was on this pod that I said that yeah I'm sorry.

47:01Trixie Mattel:We repeat stories here, so Kelly, keep it up. So I've heard. I know, I'm always scared of doing that on mine, too. I'm like, I've already told this story. I was like, I don't know if we do. We'll just edit it out. You know what? If they liked it, this drag queen, Wendy Breeze, told me once, if the audience doesn't mind hearing it twice, as long as they liked it the first time. Exactly. It's kind of like a song. If it's a good story, you want to hear it again. Yeah. You know? Tell the story again, Kelly. Well, listen. So how do you tell the camera people? It's when RuPaul comes around to our work tables.

47:30And I was already a nervous rep by this point. And I had never drank a Red Bull in my life. And I thought now would be a great time to have a Red Bull. You thought it was booze. Honey, I was trying to find anything to stimulate me into something.

47:40Trixie Mattel:If I could do Drag Race all over again, I would have bought booze. I would have brought brush cleaner. All kinds of things. I would have snuck in alcohol. Yes. What was I doing? I was so goody-goody. What are they going to do? Shoot me if they find like a bottle of Fleischmann's? I don't know. You can sneak it in a mouthwash bottle. That's what I'm... Why wouldn't I do that? Yes, exactly. Why didn't you do that? On the weekends at Drag Race, oh, you've been good. Here's your Dixie cup of white wine to drink in your room. Now they get to smoke weed? What? I think so. Are you lying? I know. I hear all the girls all the time saying, I was so stoned when I did this.

48:11All winners, they all just smoked weed all the time. Because Jinx. Raja. They were like, whatever Jinx wants.

48:19Trixie Mattel:Well, I guess for some of them, it's truly base level medicinal approach. It's like, what's the difference? We put them on a bunch of behavior-modifying drugs. Honey. What's the difference? If you have a prescription for it, they can't. Drag race on weed? That sounds like a nightmare. I would have loved it. Are you kidding? I would have freaked the fuck out. No. Unable to speak. Trixie, it's your line. You're a little light smoker, though. I like when she says, I smoked the marijuana last night. The marijuana. And you had, like, two little puffs. And you're like, oh, my gosh, I'm so stuck. Well, lately I've been taking a page out of your book.

48:56Trixie Mattel:I have a little bit of booze and a little bit of weed. Maybe an Ambien. I've never done Ambien. Go lay down in the yard. I'm not a pill person. That's good. I don't like the pills, honey. But you're such a natural swallower. Well, this is true. I'm really good at swallowing, but I don't like a pill. I don't like the way it feels. I don't like the way a pill feels. According to the gospel, according to Kelly Mantle, do you think size matters with penises? Absolutely. It does. I really thought you were going to say absolutely not Absolutely it does In what way? Well and let me say this It matters because some people like small ones That's true And so to them that matters It can be too big And then there's girls like me where I'm like Oh you can't get too big Right you want a fire hydrant traffic cones I want to know what's going on Right You know I thought you were going to say some kind of crazy progressive like absolutely not all dick is valid i thought you were gonna honey not for me it is for some people and that's good for you that's how i am with short kings i'm like that's not my kingdom honey happy for you right we all have our i will get down on my knees and give you a hug and then it's over honey what do you think that what do you think short men want ultimately I think they want to be seen yeah of course but I've noticed a lot of tall guys love short guys and it's like a vice versa really?

50:27Trixie Mattel:yes have you ever met like tall guys who are like I love short guys and it always makes me laugh because I'm like girl you're 6 '4 everyone's short TV what I love to see is I love to see a tall woman with a short man absolutely Nicole Kidman honey next to Tom Cruise or next to that lesbian she was married to yeah what's her name? Keith Urban yes Honey, she's like towering above them, honey. Do you know about Daddy Chankla on TikTok? Daddy who? Daddy Chankla. No. He's this like Caucasian guy, red hair. He has a black wife and she's taller than him. And all their content is like really earnest. Like him making a basket for her for Valentine's Day or telling her what kind of date he's taken her on.

51:07Trixie Mattel:And it's like relationship goals. Everyone thinks it's so like, I'm like, let's normalize it. I think it's great. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Did you see Nicole? Love short guys. Love tall women. Yes. Let's do it all. Honey, mix and match. I love a 6 '4", bitch. Oh, honey. I love when I'm at the airport and I see young girl college athletes, giants. I'm always like, hey, girl. Girl. I love when the college teams fly in the matching hoodies and stuff. Yes. Matching backpacks and everything. I know. They're like little army. I love it. And they get on the airplanes. Remember when we were in the airport there in Australia and the team?

51:44team that had just won the world cup that had just won the world cup you were kelly was in heat honey when i tell you these rugby players were walking around with the honey the cup

51:54Trixie Mattel:i was just like kelly was honey on the floor at the airport honey yeah honey honey honey kati was freaking out too the whole team the whole team i could take the whole team um did you see nicole the other night at the met gala nicole who kidman oh no girl why Did you see any of that? No. How come there weren't any drag queens invited to the Met Callum? I don't watch any of that. Fuck that shit. The whole theme was supposed to be turn art into fashion. And you don't have any drag queens there? Where was Utica? Where is Gottmik in that gorgeous art? Who is Utica? Utica. You know what I'm saying.

52:33Where's Utica? Uranus. Get down here. Utica is living on Uranus. You know, Utica would have eaten that up. I think she would have eaten the carpet. She would have worn the carpet and eaten it. That whore knows how to make an outfit.

52:44Trixie Mattel:That's what I'm saying. Why weren't any drag queens invited? I think Simone's done it. And I know Violet's done it. That's the only people I know who've done it. I know why. Because that motherfucking Jeff Bezos. Oh. Has RuPaul done it? Yeah, Ru did it one year. Did you see what she wore? No, was it? She was out of drag, I assume? Oh, it was the camp year. That's when Violet went. Because Violet had that dress that looked like a glove. Yes. That was cool. Violet. We don't ever. Never. I don't ever have concern. about whether or not Violet's going to present something that pleases me greatly. What would you wear to the Met Gala?

53:20Trixie Mattel:Girl, I can't do anything like that. I've only been invited to a few fashion things.

53:27Trixie Mattel:And I don't know if people know that none of that is like paid at all. None of it's paid. A lot of them pay to go. That's what I'm saying. It's like to fly to France or something to go watch a fashion show could never be me. Your TikTok outfit, though, when you hosted the TikTok awards. That was so cool. oh i did make that yeah so cool she pitched it she said it was so good she said tiktok is the new tv so how about we do like a tv look i was like that's a great idea such a great idea the static gloves yeah i love that dress i hope i can use it for something else someday yeah that was really good sometimes when you wear an outfit like that for an event it's kind of sad because you're like this will never get used i know exactly you could wear it in like a music video and then have the two guys maybe the tv heads that was cool too those tv heads are just sitting at my house now.

54:12Trixie Mattel:I don't know what I'm going to do with them. I'll wear them. Where do you keep all your drag? Do you have a lot of drag? No, right? I mean, not really. I think of, you know, I mean, my life is pretty much just this. So I don't really look at it as drag. Yeah. If that makes sense. Well, like you have a tour coming up. I have some evening gowns and I have all those things, you know, like in a drag, you know, area and drag closet and stuff. But no, I mean, like, I would wear this to the grocery store. What are you going to wear on your new tour? Do you have a special costume made for a tour like that?

54:46What new tour am I going on tour? Don't you have a show coming up? You have a show in Phoenix coming up?

54:50Trixie Mattel:I do. Oh, that's right. We're starting to take the podcast out live. Kelly, you've gotten your pod to a level where you're going to do live shows. John Mark told me about it, and you're sitting here acting like it's not happening. No. Utica. Utica has a show in Phoenix. Kelly's going to be at home. We're going to take the Kelly Mantle show live. So drop a comment on where you would like for us to come see. Oh, wait, this isn't my podcast, is it? I won't see the comments. This is your podcast. I'm just happy for the engagement. Kelly, if you guys want to go see Kelly live, it's exactly this. I don't know what to say.

55:25Hey, listen, we did it for the first time in Boise, Ohio, and it was so amazing. Boise's in Idaho. Idaho. Boise, Idaho. And it's not just a podcast. We open, I open with a song Like we have music John Mark had choreography and dancers Oh wow People don't know John Mark used to dance

55:48Trixie Mattel:People don't know John Mark was like a dance diva Such a good dancer I know Hot and Freddie, are you familiar with them? Oh, they're incredible They were our guest On the podcast at Treefort in Boise I love that song, Shy Girl Oh my god, it's so good They're amazing, I love them Congrats on their wonderful success And Lady Gaga reposted them on her birthday. I only know about that because I saw TikTok on their page. It was like, you must, if you're here from the Gaga video, I was like, oh, that's weird. It's so good. Great artist. Scantily clad woman. That's Kelly's theme song. Scantily clad man.

56:29I love Hot and Freddy, honey.

56:30Trixie Mattel:You guys, go see Kelly. I don't know what to say other than it's exactly this. Everybody wins. There could be dancing. There could be Hot and Freddy. Anything could happen. Honey, we got to stick together in these Trump-ultuous times. So let's get together and let's lift each other up in humor. And if we feel like crying, let's cry. If we feel like speaking to spirits, let's speak to spirits. Let's just live our lives to the fullest. And let's check out The Kelly Mantle Show. Ain't nobody going to stop us now. Exactly. And please check out The Kelly Mantle Show, which Trixie and Katya executive produce.

57:04Oh, my God. We shoot them on these very cameras. Yes, we do. Wow. And see, there's our curtains right there because this is behind the purple curtain. Isn't that crazy?

57:14Trixie Mattel:Now you know. I don't think people know. I know. All right. Bye, Kelly. Bye. I love you.

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