Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

20:28But then you go into the parking lot and you see some of the most well-designed, like creative design with all the members faces on it it's like super colorful like impactful and like that is actually a merch that i want to spend money on um i mean granted like a lot of artists has merch that is actually really good you know like beyonce kills it um and not to mention who has good but yeah sometimes the bootleg merch is better than the actual merch that's why they need to have little agents and managers go in the parking lot and poach those artists well this

20:58Trixie Mattel:is the thing the word bootleg to me is okay let's say this was the exact beyonce graphic from the concert bootleg is that artist is printing that same graphic and trying to pretend that this is an official beyonce shirt not the ones i've seen to me if it's somebody scalping but they're selling an original design that's not as jailable like this this is a restaurant and a person right this is a great example of somebody if they were selling this in the parking lot i almost feel they should go for it. Yeah. Because it's two for one. And I'm not saying you should buy bootleg merch. I'm just saying if I see like a bootleg artist, you know, or bootleg salesman like trying harder than the actual artist.

21:38And I'm only speaking specifically for K-pop. Not like. Okay.

21:43Trixie Mattel:But they're making an original design that the artist doesn't sell. Yes, exactly. And that's the difference. I'm talking about straight up copies of the official. Like a Xerox of a shirt on a shitty. Yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah. But then also like some artists are like basically billionaires, you know? And they're also making a million dollars a night in merch. Yeah, so I'm like, do I want to help this bootleg salesman who probably needs money for their family or do I want to support a billionaire? I don't know. I'm morally conflicted in both ways. I feel like a lot of times, let's say our Ball in the Beautiful graphic, we don't even have all the rights to that image.

22:19Trixie Mattel:So you're stealing. Oh, so I can steal that. But you're stealing from the photographer. so like people used to come up and want us to sign 8x10s and I'm like you got this printed at Kinko's by signing this I'm co-standing on you stealing this from the photographer I'm more offended that they don't know who we are I'm more offended that they're not actually fans like once I actually learned that they're just like Arperjunus or whatever they're scammers I'm like I don't mind taking photos with anyone but when people see like a lineup like you know people forming around you and then they want to photo just because they think you're someone famous you know that i'm like it's not strange that's how i feel about if i'm in drag walking to the car at the hotel like through the elevator through the um lobby and you see like a group of people and they want a picture just because they saw a crossdresser i was at a taco tricksy fans they're just like a drag queen i'm like no i was at a taco truck and some girls asked for a picture and then the taco truck guy asked for a picture he had no who No idea who I was Did you get free taco?

23:19Trixie Mattel:Were you at a taco truck in drag? No out of drag He's like are you famous? I was like not really He's like can I see your Instagram? What? And then he was like oh my god Because I put a million followers or whatever And he's like he was freaked out But see at least if they're like up front about it I'm fine with it When they start playing this game like Do I know you from somewhere? Oh they're trying to be Sylvia Brown And I'm like he drowned Does that make sense? Does that make sense? I was like, are you someone famous? And I'm like, do you want a picture? We can take a photo. Let's cut the game.

23:53No games. If you want a photo, I'll give you a photo.

23:57Trixie Mattel:But the trade does that too. The trade is like, oh, they'll act like they don't know you and then they follow you on Instagram. And as they're leaving, they're like, by the way, huge fan. That shit. So they're all liars. They should just be honest. They should be honest. Do what our fans do. Truxy, I hate you. Thank you. Do what our fans do. Open your shirt, show the breastplate-sized portrait of us tattooed to the chest. And then we are like, you're verified. Start crying. Yes, you're verified. You're in. And just to clarify, we appreciate all the love, you know. Appreciate. That comes our way, you know.

24:29But just be real with us, you know. Be honest with me.

24:31Trixie Mattel:Yes. This is the other worst, best thing, which is when you're on the plane and people are walking by getting on and they go, big fan. And you go, thank you. And maybe it happens a couple times. I feel like being bald, you're just a beacon. people's eyes see a white bald head and they're like what the fuck was that for you maybe but then the person next to you goes alright who are you I hate that I hate it so much because then you have to explain why I'm famous are you someone famous and I'm like how am I supposed to answer the question I say no I'm Carrie Fisher what am I supposed to say I had cancer I went on Jenny Sally Jesse Raphael.

25:15Trixie Mattel:Well, there's this episode of Wife Swap where I famously screamed dark-sided Gorgiles. And people still know me from that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. But on the plane, I peed myself. Wait a minute. Okay, so - Can I pivot my chair back to Kim's side and maybe you can have the floor? So this happened in the same thing you were just talking about. The guy was like, one of the guys over to the side was like, where do you - I forget what he said, but it was like, cause the two people had gone past the aisle and were like, big fan, whatever. And then the guy was like, are you like famous or whatever? And I was like, Oh, I get up halfway through the flight, go to the bathroom and I pee.

25:55And I guess I just didn't really know that I wasn't done. And, and you know, like sometimes you, you have to obviously, this is so gross. I'm sorry, but you have to like shake or whatever. And just, but I didn't, not the penis. Yeah. As soon as I'm done peeing. Sometimes you pee a little bit after. You try not to. I peed all the way down my leg. And on the floor. So I basically pissed in. I basically, for, I mean, quantity wise, I pissed myself standing up in the airplane. And I had to get down, clean up the pee on the floor. Right. And then I had to walk back to my seat, leg drenched with piss to the point where it smelled like piss.

26:53And I know for a fact that at least three or four people in the area knew what time it was. Right. They knew that I pissed myself. That I was covered in piss.

27:05Trixie Mattel:Did you have, what kind of pants did you have on? because if you have a cuffed jogger like this, but did you have a gaucho? Was it just free? They were white jeans. Yellow now, honey. Tight white jeans. No, they were, they were sweatpants. She got crackhead pee. It's dark brown. You know what I mean? One time I had a panic attack on a plane because of a pee. It was a little red. What was the panic pee? So, you know, like, when you board business class, I know I sound so fooboo-ish, you know that they give you, like, little like orange apple juice orange juice whatever for this flight had beet puree it was like a shot of beet puree and like a shot of like green puree along with champagne so i took like a shot of beet puree and then later when i went to pee and i forgot that i drank this like beet puree my pee was like bright red so i thought i was um peeing blood and i didn't know what to do and i'm like am i dying like am i like what's gonna happen so then in the stall i start breathing like really heavily and I was like do I get a flight attendant and then I remembered I drank the beet puree and I'm like oh it's the beet.

28:10Does beet

28:12Trixie Mattel:puree really turn your piss? I guess if it's really concentrated. It was like it was a really intense red and I've never had that happen before. Have you ever had hematospermia? No what is that? It's when you jizz blood. Has that happened to you? Three times. Let's take a break.

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29:58Trixie Mattel:next door for availability. And we're back. She has she jizzed blood for a while. Around Halloween too, right? Jizzed blood, yeah. I don't know. It was around Halloween. Could have been. A little surprise. Work. It doesn't hurt though. That's the gag. I've taken too much vitamins for a while and you start peeing all the time and peeing like more bright yellow and I had like, oh, am I going to die? Seeing your pee not pee colored is shocking. It is, absolutely. Especially your jizz. And you're on the plane. I had an appendix explode on the plane once and that was, I was in so much pain it didn't occur to me.

30:27Trixie Mattel:Oh, I could die. so luckily were you airlifted out of the plane? no I landed I guess you were already lifted up in the air I just parachuted out I guess because we spend so much time on airplanes you know like at some point shit is gonna hit the fan I hope I die up there I would love to die in an airplane I mean every time there's like a huge like turbulence I think to myself like well this could be the end and I have like my will typed out in my notes app you know yeah in case like the plane crashes and I'm like well they're gonna find the phone somehow you know Right. I've never been scared of incredible turbulence.

31:01I get excited.

31:02Trixie Mattel:Girl, have you ever... I was in P-Town last weekend for Spooky Bear. Have y 'all ever taken Cape Air? Oh, the puddle jumper. Girl. That rickety wheelbarrow with wings. Cape Scare. Female pilots. I'm just kidding. No, we didn't. The way there had... Mateo texted me at 830 in the morning and said... He was taking a... We were in Boston doing Halloween. Mateo was flying to P-Town, but he was taking the boat. He said the boat is so turbulent. that people are laying off the side of the boat puking. What? The Fast Ferry? The Fast Ferry. I've never gotten seasick before. Me neither. The Fast Ferry's fierce.

31:33Trixie Mattel:But the waves are so bad, he said that they were like jumping and people were puking. So I'm thinking, well, good thing we're flying. The waves are that bad from the wind. You're also going to be in a plane. The tiniest little rickety Wright Brothers plane. And you know, it's all one room, right? And one of the passengers sits next to the pilot. And so you're seated and I'm right behind them. Wait, excuse me? Do you not know this? I've never taken that airline. The first left chair, like the driver in the car, is the pilot. And the other chair, the co-pilot chair, they sell that. Some guy sits there.

32:05Trixie Mattel:I want to do that. Up in the air the other day, I tapped the guy and said, you're doing really good. I'm going to grab the wheel, yank it, and have us all go down. Please don't. Should he do it? Up on the beautiful to go? It was such bad turbulence, I was scared for the first time. Really? I grabbed the seat in front of me and started laughing out of fear. I was like, eh. And we landed. Thank God. How would you die if you could choose today? oh um something quick and painless samurai sword maybe drowning in a bathtub that is not quick and painless Kim are you out of your mind that's not quick and painless that is not quick and painless that's like a nightmare scenario that is that is the the height of terror being shot in the back of the head no samurai sword headshot if I was like asleep and unconscious you know what kind of drug could like make me like path out fentanyl fentanyl never done it before but you know propothol propothol yeah with a Michael Jackson drug, Propopoli.

32:56Where do you even get Propopoli? A doctor. Do you like... I have one in one. Okay. So you don't call up a dealer and be like, can I get some Propopoli?

33:02Trixie Mattel:No, you get ExtremePeptides.com. ExtremePeptides.com. By the way, I asked my doctor about that. I said, well, I have colleagues and friends who get their peptides online. And she said, the single most dangerous thing you could be doing right now with your health would be to get peptides anywhere but a doctor. Oh, please. Doctors. You know, I feel like a trained professional would say that, you know? Also, you know what? They're trying to secure their bag. But are you a bad bitch? Yeah, yeah. You know what? I don't doubt her at all. Are you a bad bitch? You try to prove to people you're a bad bitch by ordering peptides online?

33:36Trixie Mattel:And what bitch? Also, it did occur to me recently that just because you have an MD doesn't mean you are good at all. Don't trust doctors willy-nilly. Or don't trust doctors just period. You don't get a second opinion is what they say, right? Third, fourth. I mean, a lot of doctors are drunk, bad, stupid, negligent. I mean, you know what I mean? Doogie Howser was a kid. Thank you. What are the worst things going on in drag right now? Worst things? With the way people look. The way people look. I think Kim has a very sharp and broadened awareness of all the different types of drag and skill levels.

34:21Trixie Mattel:What do you think is the worst thing going on? You do have a very sharp critical eye. To be honest, I kind of like tuned out every other drag queen for like the past year. What about wet hair? Not because like of anything, but I'm just focusing on me right now. Honestly, besides having the guess that I see her, we're kind of the same. Four or against wet hair? Wet hair? If they don't know how to style it properly. How do you style wet hair? And then if it dries up and it gets like frizzy, you know, I'm against that. Do you think boobs will come back? Has boobs been out? I'm so out of the loop.

34:52What other drags are doing? There has been an alarming dearth of boobs in the drag scene. Oh. Especially on a frame that could use a breast. Well, you know, like in this economy, breast breasts are probably expensive. I'm not talking breastplates. I'm talking pantyhose. I'm talking rolled up socks.

35:07Trixie Mattel:Birdseeds. Mary, I have batting in a pantyhose. Right. With a tie for a nipple. She does. You felt them. You looked at them. I don't know. I've done more than that. You've jerked off to that. Shut it up. I just, I do feel like, at the risk of sounding 100 years old, I do feel that kids today, like an A cup is a giant jug to them. You know what I mean? A huge dick, like a cock destroyer titty is like truly a band-aid. Like must be amputated because it's just too much. Back pain. I'm worried that at some point, the new flat chest will become carved out tissue. the drag queens will have concave surgery top surgery.

35:51Trixie Mattel:Maybe humps. Maybe it'll just go to the back. To the back. Finally. Maybe legs are optional. Boobs down the legs. Maybe the boobs are just going to move.

36:07Trixie Mattel:Something I'm glad is gone was that pastel fetish gear. PVC fetish gear. Do you remember that wave of that? I remember like Creepy Yeah Like made some like Really cool like Harnessy things You know like in Feminine colors And then everyone And their mom Of course started Yeah Yeah yeah I'm glad that's But then you saw like Every like terrible version of it Yeah I don't like when guys Wear harnesses Are you a horse? It doesn't speak to me I mean I do hear gay guys Say like Oh a harness was the first time I felt like A horse? Oh So I guess if it's a means To feeling good I guess so I don't want to be a hater I guess it's like a top culture That we are Like not directly and you know yeah so if you like harness you know props to you mama yeah keeping the letter industry you know Kim and I used to work almost exclusively at circuit parties now with okay give us the give us the do's and don'ts of circuit party fashion honestly there's no do's and don'ts everybody's in their speedos with oh they're just naked naked with designer sneakers and maybe a harness interesting it's literally naked with designer sneakers and are we talking with drugs are we talking dick and balls and asshole out no no like a thong with no back so what is that a cock sock.

37:18And everyone's pupils are dilated and everybody's like really, really sweaty. Well, that's no problem. Should we show them

37:23Trixie Mattel:how they dance? It's all... But do they have enough buffering? Do they have enough NPCs buffering? Do they have enough room? Yeah, it's in there. And like, if Kim and I were like, we just met and when we were into each other, we would dance like... It's just this. With just the... And everyone has sunglasses on indoors because all their pupils are dilated. Oh, because they're bloodshed. True blood. True blood. black eyes with red eyes yeah Viagra and then you say hi to them they're like where's the afters Kim and I would do these parties oh not the afters where we would probably be in drag by 9 or 10 and we'd be there till 4.30 4.30 yeah were y 'all on drugs?

38:01Trixie Mattel:I wasn't okay a huge drug addict we were we had a show early like we would each do a number or two and then we would host like in a costume yeah host in outfit so we'd do two numbers and then change into a kind of rather elaborate for a local drag queen. We know multiple looks. Multiple changes through the night. No, people don't tip. No. Those circuit queens didn't pay you no mind, didn't they? Honestly, genuinely, they were not there for us. But we, in our young minds, I really thought, well, obviously, we are the party. We're like local celebrities, you know? I really felt maybe more famous then than I do now.

38:38Trixie Mattel:Honestly, yeah. Well, because, you know, we did all these elaborate photo shoots that was to promote the parties and everyone was sharing and everyone knew us like when they came to the party, you know. One time, oh my God, Kim, we have to, one time, Kim and I had a fucking gig the night before and we slept in face for what, four hours? Kim and I slept like this, like to each other like vampires, like vampires, like a pack of hot dogs. Makeup just like crusting over. And so we wake up, we put on the outfit because it was an Olympics themed photo shoot. You did a photo shoot after? In the morning.

39:12Trixie Mattel:In the morning. The photo shoot was supposed to be at noon? It must have been a boner break. Our call time was like 10 a.m. 10, 10. Yeah. And I don't want to say who it was, but the photographer at the time said, he just came in and I remember him saying like, hey, I thought it was Coke, but it was like G or something. It was like drunk drunk. He said he was snorting Coke, but it was ketamine. And so he was in a K-hole. So he needs to take a nap. So we sat there in drag and waited for the photo shoot to start. But we're talking like. He un-K-ed out. Literally like eight drag queens, like fully ready to go at noon.

39:43Trixie Mattel:and a bunch of beautiful go-go boys which at the time I will say the go-go boys in Chicago were drop dead gorgeous muscle beautiful huge go-go boys and we all just sit there and wait for the photo shoot to start outside in the sun is this person still alive oh actually so this person died supposedly sorry no no no so I asked I asked my friends in Chicago and people are saying like he's pretending to die to like escape. On the land? Second act? On the land? I've heard all this conspiracy. Double jeopardy? Double jeopardy? He pretends to die to like not pay his debt or whatever but he's actually alive somewhere.

40:27But I don't know the truth. The orphan. But at least that was the rule. This is all allegedly.

40:34Trixie Mattel:Yeah, don't even Google who it is. We're not trying to blow up people's spots. It was a different time. We were both of his names. I'm just kidding. But anyway, we do these parties and we were in my mind the amount of work we put in looking back we're talking two or three look changes at a circuit party where no one cared we're talking look changes changing nails changing contact lenses changing but in our head we're like hashtag up and coming hashtag we're gonna show the girls tonight's the night we're gonna show the girls we're gonna love everybody it's like no one does it like Chicago you guys and at the time I think that was kind of true yeah girl I think it was kind of true at the same time what was happening in Boston the opposite we weren't what's going on in Boston we weren't changing nails we weren't changing costumes we weren't changing lives we weren't changing anybody's opinion we were changing our diapers we were so ugly we're pissing ourselves we were so ugly not performing for circuit guys but for bachelorettes who don't give a shit we looked we had an opening number and a closing number the fabric that we wore was a for the opening was bright orange squiggle sequin on like a heavy knit and a green squiggle sequin on a heavy knit.

41:44I wore a sleeveless. Like a St. Patrick's Day? Uh-huh. And there was, you could do whatever you wanted with it. So I wore a shirt and a skirt and shitty black boots. Is that what you wanted? And then the closing outfit was a brown paisley. A brown paisley grandmother's couch type of fabric for Lady Marmalade. Diabolical. My biggest guilty pleasure is watching drag queens put together their matching group looks for opening and closing of things. This would curl your hair.

42:22Trixie Mattel:They start the outfit the day before. People just go, just wear something black. But this was worse. It was like, started the day before and then it degrades because you become lazier and lazier and less and less interested in the number. So by the end, you just look like a bunch of fucking, I don't even know what. It was so, we looked so ugly and so bad and the choreography was so abysmal. I remember that. I think I've seen you guys do it. Wasn't it like - We had like an ASL vibe of like, if you could read my mind. Wasn't that it? There was that. I don't want to say ASL vibe. Was it pantomime drag?

43:03It was sort of I love you. But people, to be fair though, we really brought the house down with our box set for Bootylicious.

43:13Trixie Mattel:I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly because your body's too bootylicious for you. Iconic. I had Kelly's part. Still don't know the words. Can I say that's something about, there's also something about Lady Marmalade that it is a pecking order. Cause some girls can get stuck with Maya. Because we didn't have, we had stereo or something. Maya's part didn't even come in at the end. So I would, I'll be Maya, I don't care. Cause I would go smoke. You know what I mean? I would come back and wait. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

43:55The token black around the cast is always the Lil' Kim. Right. And Lil' Kim kind of had the fun part. She had the best part. she had the best part. Pink. But like. The Christina is horny. And also. Yes. The drag king is always Missy Elliott.

44:07Trixie Mattel:Yes. Oh my God. The drag king is Missy Elliott for sure. We never had Missy Elliott. And then it's always like the drag. The reveal is that it's like, whoa, you know, it's Christina. it's a big build up. It's never the girl with the best outfit. The reveal is not hitting. It was misery. She was like six, five black Panamania where it was always a fight between misery and destiny being Christina. And it was just like, you know, the booger the troll like me gets to be pink or Maya and um I couldn't be Little Kim because the pink part's nice it's short Maya's pretty short too yeah it was very short because it had no well I guess yeah the Little Kim part is a lot of words so you would have to really know it I mean I know it but I would come out I would go blazing out like Maya and then right out the door to smoke a cigarette and I didn't have to come back because I didn't it didn't play that part you know I think that's what Maya does at her concert I think she just kind of walks out goes in smoke.

45:00Trixie Mattel:I just watched a movie with Maya and she was in it. She gets killed. Was she in Cursed? That Jesse Eisenberg movie? Chicago? No. No, I think she was in Cursed that Jesse Eisenberg were. She was in Chicago. She was in the sub-Black Tango. She is. She is quite a beauty. Beautiful. You know what? Wait. Brandy and Monica just did a tour and I just want to say very briefly, I really appreciate their stage wear. They did not come out in the same tired cat suit, body suit sequence stuff like Jennifer Lopez. God love her. But she's like Jennifer Lopez is doing this like Beyonce outfit with this like hip hop choreo that just doesn't make any sense.

45:38But like Brandy and Monica have these fabulous like fucking long latex trenches and they're like I don't know. It's fierce. Speaking of Brandy and Monica, the Queen's doing a duet with the boys. Mine is also my favorite because everybody thinks they know the words. But no one actually knows the words. I do. Well you are just so fucking special.

46:01Trixie Mattel:I never have known that song. Me and my black friend used to do that song. I never knew that song. And so when girls are like, do you want to just do the boys mine? I'm like, I don't know it. I think when we went on a tour once, you were like, let's do the boys. And I was like, I don't know it. Oh, it's fierce. It's fierce. I don't even know many duets or a girl. I did Dancing Queen with you and you. We still know that one. I do know it. I know. Waterloo. Waterloo. Yeah. No, we don't know that. We do know it. We're incredible at it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. We're amazing. Kim and I also one time we were working someplace in Iowa called we also did a Halloween number together we did the Boulay Brothers but I don't know what song we did we did Dancing Queen reheating the nachos for sure reheating the nachos we did Dancing Queen the Boulay Brothers you're third one Dracula it's like girls wanna be her.

46:58Trixie Mattel:And we come out like in shitty. They're like black, not even real, like faux PBC. Oh my god. That's fine. Kim and I, we did a show in Iowa where they suckered you and I into Oh my god, a group number? At the end, you guys are gonna be in the group number. This girl, was it It was, it was, yeah. And they were like, so she's gonna do like a share mix at the end, I think. Share? And you guys are gonna come and you're just gonna walk out and like two-step and then you're going to turn around and face the wall and put your hands on the wall and shake your butt. And Kim and I were like, what is the song?

47:32Trixie Mattel:What does the stage look like? What is the blocking? And it was so hot in there that it was dripping condensation from the ceiling. And Kim and I are completely, it looked like if you took each of us and dipped us in like glycerin and lacquer you'd use for the porch. We're just wet. I remember distinctively, we were both holding onto the wall, shaking our butt and Trixie looks at me and goes, Kim, what is happening? With sweat dripping off of her nose. she's like, I don't know. I just, I'm not in a place where I will ever be like, will you just come on for the group? No, no, no. Unless there's a rehearsal for the group.

48:06Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I don't think we should do the group thing, but something about drag queens is like, Hey, we're just going to, although lady Marmalade is, I think the great equalizer of like, everyone in this room might know one or two of these verses. Yeah. There's also no choreo, which is why it's not good. Well, we all know the verses, but then what? No, but it's a showcase. But eventually we're all out there together. Yeah. it's corny it's very very played out it's corny what is the ultimate drag opening and closing for your drag show to the stars oh opening and closing so you're performing for Beyonce for Brandy for um I don't know if that'll realistically ever happen no I think there are better candidates that could hire no no no but it is happening it's happening and you have to choose the program right now we're working it out bootylicious obviously what would be your like if you had four or five girls in a show what's your opening and closing number?

48:59Oh my god um not Lady Marmalade um you know you think it's gonna hit but it never actually hits the way like maybe Bang Bang? That is silver too much? I hate that too yeah um you know what if you just come up with something really random like what is that? All I want for Christmas is you that's a great group number even better if it's summertime yeah What about Islands in the Stream? Somebody has to be Kenny Loggins Kenny Rogers Wilson Phillips, hold on That's a great You could do that That's three, right?

49:36Trixie Mattel:Boys at Bottom, shout out to that That's a good drag queen group number But also as a drag queen performing another drag queen's song Greatest Love of All Nope We are the world Wannabe Oh Okay, well we don't have to It's okay We don't have to do it Did you watch the Victoria Beckham documentary? No. I didn't know she had a documentary. Well, yeah. David Beckham had a great one on Netflix. Now Victoria had one. Highly recommend it. Love those fuckers. Love those fuckers. Great. People give her a lot.

50:10Did you ever watch the Jennifer Lopez documentary? This is me dot dot dot now. Yeah. I don't think that's a documentary. Oh, there's a documentary about the movie. The movie. Movie. Yeah. No. I'm waiting for it. she's like looking for a dancer and she's like, just call Derek. And they name all these like celebrities and they're like, they're not available. They're not available. And she's like, call it like Derek Hugh. And they're like, he's in a wedding. And then she like makes his face. That's right. But it was like his wedding that he was getting married. Then she expected him to like drop his own wedding and come film her movie.

50:43Honestly, Icon. Yeah. Her team reached out to me to have me delete an Instagram post that I posted. I was performing with her. Really? Yeah. About 10 years ago. Oh my God. You said you were doing a show with her. Like 2017. I was like, I was so excited to be, we're doing a show with her. It's a joke. I was like, so excited to be performing with JLo tonight. My dream come true. Hours later, David's like, uh, Jennifer Lopez's team reached out. Could you please delete that post? I was like, well,

51:07Trixie Mattel:I think at that point it would have been clearly a joke. Don't you think? No shit. I don't know that she's exactly. I mean, there's a reason why I don't post that because it could happen. But you, I think everyone would know that that would never happen to you. I think it would be okay. You know, it's such a fiction. It's such a, it's a farce. Hey girls, I'm going to be back at Jacques tonight. People would believe that. So what is your take on random pop stars randomly using drag queens as an accessory at their concerts or music videos? I'm sure you get those offers. Like, hey, so-and-so is doing a tour and they're going to bring out a drag queen.

51:40It's not paid. Or what about them mopping their whole shtick or their catchphrase? Oh, yeah.

51:49Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Do you want to say any names? We can blur it out. Am I the drama? We can blur out our mouths, but we will not cut the audio. Does that help? Does that help? Blur my face. Blur my face. Blur my face. Keep the audio. Tone my voice down like Unsolved Mysteries. Well, what we were saying was Cardi B. You know. Oh, my God. Cardi B's responsible for my favorite music artist almost quitting music. Well, see, I love. Sorry. Music-wise, I don't know. I'm really not a fan, but of her personality. I feel like she's so funny she's so charming and also not that Nicki Minaj has gone like full mega I feel like we need all the good ones we can get you know if she can say all she wants you know what though it's not just we need the good ones I think we need the good ones might also make you think like we need to reach across the aisle when I hear any of these fucking cunts saying anything like well there's good and bad on both sides no there's There's bad and then there's horrible shit.

52:54Trixie Mattel:That's what I'm saying. To me, anything like I can see both sides or that the system is broken, just say you wear a red hat in your room at home when you're alone. Just say you hate trans people. Just say you hate trans people. It's just too late. It's too late. Well, I guess I feel whenever I get, I don't ask, I don't get asked very often to do those group things for celebrities. But I always say no because I just feel like they'll tell you like, well, so-and-so really wants to feature you in a video. and you have to ask how many other drag queens are going to be there? Am I one of 35 drag queens that are irreplaceable?

53:27Because I don't feel like it and there's often no pay.

53:30Trixie Mattel:I can think of a lot of big artists who've offered me to do that shit for free. It's such great publicity though. I'm just kidding. One time was like, we want you to video. One time... Blur that out or subtitle it. This pastor asked me to be in their music video for$250. Work. Transportation not included. Your costume and makeup cost more than that. Yeah. It would have been better if they just said like, oh, we don't have enough money for budget or something, you know? Yeah. We're broke. We're desperate. We owe the IRS, but we love you so much. So you want to put$250 my way and then like what?

54:00Have me in the stop for how many hours and feel like you're like, girl.

54:04Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I will say the reason why you're so qualified to write this stunning food book is because you love food, you love cooking, and you've traveled the world. I really think that we need to put our heads together and put together some kind of declaration of independence on We the People if you want to book a drag queen. Like a flow chart. You want to book a drag queen. So you're going to need money. You're going to need a dressing room. You need to unfollow Deborah Messing. You need air conditioning in that dressing room. You need a mirror. You need to make sure that if there are the drags in that dressing room that they're not going to steal from you.

54:38Trixie Mattel:The car to the venue. It can't be a compact car. Missed thing on the floor. No, recently I do. Sprinter Vans, I'm never looking back. Sprinter Vans. one time I showed up at a gig to perform and they take me to a zanderous closet with broken glass on the floor and I was like there's broken glass on the floor and then they got like a tarp and put it over the broken glass they put sawdust over it that was my dressing room and I'm like well that was Jacques loose rugs when Kim and I used to work at Hydrate the basement which our dressing room was maybe 4, 4 and a half feet you can't stand up and Kim's already pushing 17.

55:16Trixie Mattel:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Kim in drag, and she used to wear all these big elaborate head art. We'd be prone in the dressing room. We'd be like at Barry's boot camp, crawling on the ground. And not to mention the floor is dirty, so if your knee touches the ground, your tightest knee is black. Your tightest knee is black. Sepsis. Yeah. I, you know, I have to think more about that because every time I fucking complain on one of our incredibly cushy, luxurious, wonderful gigs, I'm like, I used to make$50 performing to no one on a loose rug filled with like baggots. And you're the happiest that you ever were.

55:49Trixie Mattel:Take me back. Take me back. But you also weren't earning anyone much money. And now you are. So it's okay to say I hope the money I earn you I hope some of it gets used to do the things you said you were going to do when you booked me. Wait, what? It's okay for you to say when you booked me you said that you would provide adequate lighting. No, totally. dressing room. But when I get those things. So you're not doing it now. No, no, no, no. I'm saying that when I do get all those things, I still complain. Oh, yeah. Because I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, it was like, it's 65. I want a 64. You know what I mean?

56:22Like that kind of thing. Speaking of complaining, you know what's crazy too? Because like, at least from my experience with like working with like a lot of new queens, a lot of these queens who's never had like a real job, you know, like. What? They become old and not become old, but they become like of age and then they go like straight to drag race and then, you know, like they go like straight to like working in these places and they like have no like they don't know how to act. They've never worked. Yeah. That is true. And they pull some of the craziest shit that I've seen anyone pull like kicks and I'm like I cannot believe like you.

56:53Say it.

56:54Trixie Mattel:We'll subtitle it. Don't worry. I'm not going to. Is there anything general enough that the person won't know who it is? Give us for instance. No, no, no. I don't want to start any drama. No, no, no. Just give it the hypothetical. But you know, it's, you know, there's this extremely unprofessional. They're like incredibly rude. Now when you mean unprofessional. They have no sense of like time. Okay. Yeah. for it, you know? They have, like, no respect for anybody else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a time... From my time, you know, it was, like, a bad thing if you, like, didn't do the meet and greet because you didn't care.

57:16Like, have the queens now that they just don't show up to meet and greet because they don't feel like it. What?

57:20Trixie Mattel:You know what else was, Cunty? This was, like, back in the day of early drag race, maybe, like, the 2015, 16s. Remember, like, a mix and mingle? It was, like, a group meet and greet. There would always be one or two people who would only show up for the last five minutes of it. well to be fair a lot of those people didn't have a line no they did oh really time blind is like a real thing also group shows are very time is very important I mean but even like my friends in like my day to day life I have friends that I like love hanging out with and you know like they're amazing but like they'll just not show up on time and so then I have to and I feel like then now I'm like I know they're gonna be late so then I start showing up late because I know they're gonna be late But then I'm like, am I being trained to be late by these people?

58:04Then why don't you just say like, okay, so eight, we're saying eight, but do we really mean nine? Like, you know what I mean? I don't know. I don't know why time is such a hard thing for many people because like we are always on time.

58:16Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I mean, part of why we work together is because we're always on time. Yeah. 90 % of the time, if I'm not, I'm on time because I feel that if you're not, it's directly disrespectful. Yeah. Sometimes she's on time. Sometimes she's on something else. Yeah. and they were all like oh you know like time I have time blindness you know what I'm saying it's not a quirky trade you know like it's fucking annoying that's like what's her who is it Madonna was just talking about that she's like you don't know like it's hard to be on time I have like my spiritual life to take care of my spiritual life you mean there's like thousands of people waiting on you on a Monday night yeah on a Monday night yeah and that's the thing too the fans and also the respect to other drag queens I mean I just don't think in drag like the truth is especially when you're on a tour if one day you're cutting it close, you just start earlier the next day.

59:02Trixie Mattel:We're putting on the same wig and outfit every night on a tour. When we're on tour, that's all you're doing. That's all you're doing. Pretty much. And if you're cutting it close, I mean, I will feel like in the middle of a tour, I will get my process down to 90 minutes because I know the outfit, I know the wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I'm kind of doing the same makeup every night. I just feel like if you're late today, tomorrow start earlier. But that type of person, they'll never start earlier. If anything, they get mad at you for being mad at them for being late. A hundred percent. And also, like, there's the the attitude is like, well, you know I'm late.

59:28It's like, well, I also know you're an asshole. Like, I don't know. I guess you just, I don't know. Punctuality. I always grew up thinking late, on time was late. Yeah. Like, it was always half an hour early rather than five minutes late. It is so easy to figure out your day. No matter how busy you are, like, just start your day a few minutes early. Also, these people have a fucking assistance. And assistance, assistance. You know what I mean? Not to mention, we're on solo.

59:52Trixie Mattel:We're on like LA time where I also think, I think LA is pretty lax with start times. in general, don't you think? Because everyone's like, oh, sorry, I'm stuck in the traffic. I was at home dying my hair blue and smoking weed with my lesbian girlfriend. You know, LA woke. What's that? It's like, oh, you know, the traffic is so crazy. It's like, you came from WeHo to WeHo? I had to buy my$18 coffee. Unless you're brand new in LA, you do know that some things at this time of day is twice as long. And when you do, I feel like if you live in LA long enough, you just don't agree to do, like you say, like, oh, you want to do this?

1:00:28I can't get there in time. You know what I mean? There's like traffic, you know what I mean? You just kind of like, you plan and you anticipate, you're like, that's not possible. You know what I mean? Rather than yeah, I'll be there in 10 minutes, 45 minutes later. It's too spread out.

1:00:42Trixie Mattel:The real life hack though, because I have a hard time sitting in the car and drag, the new life hack is if you can get them to get you, they're one of those party buses, housewife party buses. With the poles? either or but you know the thing where it's a bench that's like U shaped that's what I got to and from Chapel Rhone and you can sit in a corset completely upright like comfortably versus when you're in a car and drag like I don't know what about a hearse yeah lay me down honestly or right on top of the car like Priscilla yeah speaking of which it was a really good thing you had Chapel Rhone you're amazing oh thank you was she open for what 60 ,000 people yeah I was on at like 6.10 so I honestly didn't think any of my friends would she texted me she was coming and I was like did the light just come out no stroke she was like I'll see you tonight and I knew I was on at 6.10 so I was like I don't think anybody will see me but thanks for inviting me people like showed up at 4 o 'clock it was like a music festival honestly it was like smart I've never seen a music festival where water was$3 what?

1:01:46the stuff was also going on and passing on free water to everyone so people don't pass out from it stuff was like reasonably priced it was like a great experience honestly top of our own props to your mama if you could have seen

1:01:58Trixie Mattel:the dressing room they had for me the luxury yurt with private air conditioning multiple couches a huge desk to get ready and a mirror lit mirror wow treating the drag queens good she started on time yes so to be honest I love start on time everyone should start on time I got hot hard and I came 8.02 she was on there I was like When Cowboy Carter started on the dot, pretty much, I was like, this is something. Could not believe it. It's like, let me tell you, I do not enjoy sitting around waiting. I don't either. And we had buffet. Yeah. Like, we had food. I was like, I'm getting antsy. What's your ideal start time for a drag show?

1:02:35Oh, right on the dot. And I know promoters always try to delay as much as possible to get more people in the door. The audience doesn't like that. And I'm like, audience doesn't like that. And it's going to turn off more people from coming to your show. because they're like, oh, they're not going to start till 11. I'm not going to do that. If I know a show is starting on time, I will always show up so I can watch a show and leave. 8 o 'clock, 8.15. That's it.

1:02:56Trixie Mattel:For DJing, they always put me like late or last because they're afraid people will leave. They tell me that. But then I'm like, well, then they're so sick of, they're tired and too drunk or they've danced already for like an hour. So then you inherit like a very tired audience. And they're just looking at you. They're like wiped out. Yeah. And they don't want to leave because they paid money. So I don't know. I don't think we should trap people in venues. I agree. I'm going to start the show sometime. You know what? And it'll train people to show up to your thing early. They're like, oh, the show starts at 10 o 'clock, so we got to be there at 10, you know?

1:03:29Yeah. Stop delaying it. I had to do, I did a little Halloween wiggle in Minneapolis, and I was like, I hosted the first half, and then there was a little break, and then it was the last performer to go, and I was like, I'd rather go first. Are you kidding me? I'd rather do three numbers back to back right at the beginning.

1:03:44Trixie Mattel:Oh, I love going first. When you do Work the World, do you do like earlier in the show? Oh, talk about Work the World. That show looks so fun. Does that run on time? Oh, Work the World runs on time now. Kim killed some people. No, no. Just back in the day, like there were some monsters like where the shows would be delayed by like an hour or two because of these monsters. Most subtitled. They run a tight ship now for the most part. Did you love that? I mean, just I haven't seen, I've never seen a live, the clips I've watched. It just looks so fun. Yeah, I think this past concept was fun, you know, but ensemble tours, I think.

1:04:23It's tough. A lot of personalities.

1:04:25Trixie Mattel:In some ways, it's fun. When I was on the ensemble tours, it was nice because you could almost jump around with your dressing room mate. I remember sharing rooms and skipping around. It's great if you're like the girls you tour with. Yeah. I can't do it. Jinx, I love her so much, but I can't be in the same room with her because she's definitely singing in New Year's. Well, I remember like the first time I did a tour where I got to like, oh, my first time I get to share dressing with Farrah. I have that moment of me and her getting to get ready. And you really bond when you get ready with people.

1:04:53Trixie Mattel:Do you have your own dressing room? Depends on the venue. You know how. Some venues have like more things. Some venues don't. Who's your go-to sharing dressing room, Diva? This past tour, honestly, no one. I mean, I like all the girls on tour, but I want to be naked in my room. I want to play my music. I don't want, you know, like my music to like worry about. Like, are you going to like the music I'm playing, you know? And I like to watch when I'm on tour. I like to watch TV shows. In the dark? No, I like to put a TV show on and watch like an episode a day when you get ready. She gets ready with the compact and the complete dark.

1:05:28Trixie Mattel:I love quiet and dark dressing rooms. Yeah, that's absolutely valid. At least dim. I like super bright, very loud and annoying music. And the JBL in the face. Yeah. I know it's not I like Super Bright too and I like K-pop blasting I realize my music sounds like nails on a chalkboard to everybody else No, I actually like it and for me I like the JBL to turn it on when I'm putting on my body when it's time to get in character in a way the music will help me get to that and when we're on tour and we're feeling nothing inside sometimes I'd have to take that JBL, I'd pump it up and use it to walk to the stage the music will walk to the stage just like getting you in the groove you know you got to improve pumping pumping so I don't know sometimes the music helps do you have a good pump up song?

1:06:12if you had to listen to only one song for the rest of your life while getting in drag only one oh my god that is a very deep question um the Carpenters Superstar love I'd probably do Car Wash okay five minutes yeah Rose Royce Rose Royce always gets a great track it's got a great flow yeah what about you?

1:06:34Trixie Mattel:I mean probably something ABBA ABBA's just timeless, it eats like what? not, mama don't make me put on a dress again no, I love I really love I really love take a chance on me speaking of mama don't make me put on a dress again morning I talk about this gig that we did to this day where it was Pride with Trixie featuring we filmed it at the precinct featuring Trixie and her friends but then there was no air conditioning and at one point they had us hold these really heavy mannequins and they had us dance with the mannequins in this sweaty room while Trixie singing Malibu over and over again and Monet and I were sweating so bad and these mannequins were getting so heavy to the point it was hard to hold them up and we were looking at each other just listening to Malibu and now like whenever I come across Malibu it automatically like triggers me Malibu yeah it's a lovely song I wouldn't I wouldn't sentence any of my friends to a hot room hearing me sing it on repeat I think that's kind of aggressive but also it was also right during COVID so that was why it was like we were doing a pride special at Precinct I remember you talking about this it was like the night it was like 400 degrees it was for YouTube I believe and then I did a YouTube pride special with Juno Birch and there was also no air conditioning.

1:08:03You know why I have air conditioning? It's overrated. Yeah.

1:08:06Trixie Mattel:Especially in LA. Oh my God. I just did the Boulay's Halloween thing two weeks ago, last week. How was it? What did you do? I DJed for 45 minutes. Love it. That outfit you wore was fabulous. That ghost shit? The beautiful. Thank you. Oh, it goes. Yeah. And I was leaving the venue and the person came up and said, I just want to meet you. I run the venue and I said, oh, what happened to the air conditioning? And it was like 1 a.m. in the alley. Confront her. And he goes, oh, we had one of our things went out. and I said, oh, bummer, six year in a row. Have a great night. Like, I don't care anymore.

1:08:34Trixie Mattel:You don't have air conditioning and you keep lying about it. I won't be seeing you again. Who's going to be exposed tonight? It's just too hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not enjoyable. It's too hot. Nobody benefits. I'm DJ, I'm seeing drips off my face hit the equipment. I'm like, what are we doing? Have you tried losing some weight, Thaddy? Wait, I will never forget before I get this. Give me that book. Yeah, yeah. Whacker with the book If I don't want to lose any weight I surely will be cooking every single recipe In your book Where can people get it? I'm available at any cool place that sells books Books.com Anywhere that sells books But also you can go to my Instagram link in bio For all the various places where you can participate Congratulations, Arthur Thank you, along with Kimchic Beauty Oh, by the way, I just got your Thank you for the PR and stuff Are you guys in CBS now?

1:09:28oh we're in cvs we're at jc penny we're also on ulta.com oh yeah ulta's new yeah

1:09:35Trixie Mattel:well kim's products i love your products your products are cunty the blushes the concealers i use oh the drag queens turn out for those concealers they are amazing i use i love using them as eye shadow bases they're gorgeous also the brush applicator yes like speed of just like yes squeezy and then I love your products too Kim knows everything about makeup and everything about food so this is a wonderful gift item for anybody in your life who likes drag and likes to eat food you've always been a foodie but have you always been able to cook? oh yeah have you ever tried eating your makeup? never cooked for me not yet but we have just released some lip glosses that are like scented and flavored so love that I'm gonna make some of this shit I love You're not going to make it.

1:10:24Trixie Mattel:Yes, I am. I love cooking. Do you cook? Yes. Since when? Oh, started during COVID. I learned using Green Chef. Oh. So it's over for you, ho. Oh my God. Can I have that? Yeah. This book? Yeah. They never sent me one. Oh, this is my copy. They never sent it. It was supposed to go to me. Oh. I can buy one. I'll buy one. You're rich. Thank you, fat fuck. Congratulations on your double book. Your double book release. Can that?

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