Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

18:56Trixie Mattel:No, for me to even stop and comment, like, LOL. Can you imagine? I never comment, but your shit, I always have to say, like. Thank you for that. You're good with that. You're good with that. When did you pivot to this, like, glamour puss version of your look? so i think with everything going on in the world we're here ended i started to see that like the doors in hollywood for you know drag queens were closing especially drag queens who do makeup and then so i went home and there was like a year where there was no work and i hit rock bottom and i got to the point where i was like bitch i ain't got no more money to even pay my bills anymore social media doesn't work it's not working uh i'm not i'm not working as a makeup artist anymore i had an emmy but you know that emmy if if you don't if you if you think the emmy's gonna make it for you the emmy i when i got home i was like this emmy doesn't mean anything i got work to do bitch ain't nobody gonna come over here and give me a job especially i was living in brownsville texas that's not gonna happen so but you gotta star on the walk of fame in brownsville texas in the key to the city.

20:03The key to the city. The key to the city, bitch. But I had to crash and burn and hit rock bottom. And I was at a party one night and it hit me. I don't know if it was the psychedelic. I don't know if it was the trade trying to comfort me. But there was a moment where I was like, what am I doing in this house with these absolute monsters? These people. But very, very valid. A lot of people ask that question in my house. But in my mind, I was like, if I don't get my shit together, this is what I'm going to end up as. The crossdresser in the corner waiting for the trade to come over here and talk to me.

20:41And I said, sweetie, this is not my path. I will not live a life that I don't deserve. Thank you, Pearl. Literally the next day, I started drag investigations. Yes! I put my makeup on. I said, how can you do this with the skills that you got, but make it easy. You can do it by yourself. because I run in there and I film myself. I edit myself. I do all. I'm a one woman pony show. Hell yeah. Who's filming when you're like in the parking lot talking? Do you have your phone set up somewhere? I set my phone up in my truck. I have a little clip. Of course, she's got a gimbal. She's got a backpack. It was that sense of like, I can't rely on anyone.

21:18I can't ask anyone for help. I got to be able to do this by my own because I got to be able to run this marathon.

21:23Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I have to be able to do this every day if I have to by myself. Well, that's a drag. I mean, that's an old school drag thing. You're everything. I taught myself. In my mind, I was like, bitch, no excuses. You don't have an editor? No excuse. You don't have an assistant? No excuse. You don't have support? You don't have anyone that believes in you? Bitch, you believe in you. And you're going to go out there. You're going to do this. And so I went out to Ulta and I started running around just shopping, which I did every day. That's what I was doing with my friends every day. But now I was just putting a little wig on.

21:52And now I was going to the Dee Dee's discounts.

21:55Trixie Mattel:Love Ulta. To the Marshalls, to the Ross. That's where real people go, too. I'm like, the real people. Baby, the real people are going to the Home Depot, honey. And they're getting. That's where the majority of people, especially right now in America, it's like, bitch, can't nobody go to Dillard's. I'm over going to Target. We're stealing. The majority of people can't go to Dillard's or Neiman Marcus or Saks Fifth Avenue. Baby, the girls are at Target. They're at Walmart and they're stealing everything. Goodwill. Honey. And Goodwill can be really slight. I swear I get a lot of my Halloween decorations, Christmas decorations, because the price of holiday decor is so monstrous and crazy.

22:30Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Get the used holiday decor. I went to an indoor swap meet the other day, and I bought a foundation that was$2.99. And let me tell you something. It's more sickening than my Dior foundation. My Dior cost me$70. The LA Colors. $3 foundation. It's sickening. Those designer foundations are bullshit. It smells like house paint, but it's sickening. The LA concealer. Yeah, that's good, too. It gives you cancer, but you're cunt. I mean, we're all going to die of something, honey. Will you do my makeup one day? I would love to. Someone has to. I would love to. But just know that I'm going to give you the 5, 6, 7, 8.

23:02I'm going to put a timer, 45 minutes. The 5, 6, 7, 8. And you're ready. Well, you know what? I'm going through an era right now where I feel like less is more. Do it fast. Just make yourself look good. Put on a lash and let's punch. Yeah, okay.

23:14Trixie Mattel:For sure. Let's get out of the makeup chair, sweetie, and go out there and live our lives. Yeah, six hours is a little too intense for me. It's too much. Well, I will say there's a sweet spot where it's like, for me, longer than an hour and 15 minutes with the brush in the hand, it's a depreciating asset. I know what I can do in like an hour. So the longer I sit there, it's like jerking off. It's like edging for what? And then you're all tired. At this point, you're wasting your time. But you got to go work after. Right. So you can't sit there forever. Yeah. If I do that, what I'm dealing with is father time.

23:46Trixie Mattel:Oh. So the longer I take to put on my makeup, the more my face reminds me that I'm an old, creepy skinned hag. It starts to go in the wrinkles. Yeah. So my window of freshness is about two hours. How did you think of these little isms that you edit into your, like that type of shit? How did you think of all those? Because they hit, they're so numerous. It just happened by accident. They're so numerous. Do you edit this? I edit it. You add all those yourself? I have a microphone. I actually those audios. I don't know what I don't remember what I was doing. Terror. Those audios are two years old.

24:23It was a whole year. Using yourself as like a sample. I was doing it. I must have been doing a YouTube video like two years ago. And I was recording like an intro or something. And then I was like, I'm just going to. I just started going. Now, don't do it. Little girl. You look like a creature. the D-O-double-L no you know what this woman she looks like a D-O-G and so I just there's a whole like three minute audio that's two years old and so then one day as I was editing my videos for TikTok I was like I'm gonna put in these audios after every little cut that I do and it became a thing

25:03Trixie Mattel:it's amazing now that they're constantly like luscious when are you getting like a button that has all your sounds? they're unrelenting DJs are hitting me up can you send me the audios I'll pay you for the audios I'm like wait a minute bitch no you wait a minute you need to manufacture your own little sound machine like a fashionista track of you yelling I would be good on a bitch track you would be like a fat like we need to do a bitch track together with love we would go like a nice sexy hot like like runway track of you being like yelling yes no maybe so right your version of the sexy version of that yes no and maybe so when the girls try to rip you off that's what they're It's getting to the point where now they're like, my dedications for my videos are putting it to tracks.

25:46So now these FAGs are at the club and they're like, honey, have you ever been in the dark room, honey? Make some noise for the dark room girls who are getting gutter punched in the dark. And like they're using all my sounds on these like tracks. Yeah, I love it.

26:01Trixie Mattel:But I was going to say, that's definitely not eating your lunch. It's not taking anything away from you. Oh, no, I love it. I love it. If it brings, that's what I'm here for. I want to bring joy to these kids. You know, they will literally, in the DMs, I've gotten videos where, like, they're having sex with each other, like, destroying each other. And they're playing my video in the background. And you just hear me in the back, girl. I went to the Ulta today, girl. Let me tell you, this concealer was not giving. Meanwhile, the FH, he's going in, boom, boom, boom, pounding this little bottom. Can you imagine?

26:32You're getting pounded. You're hitting the poppers, girl. Your eyes are in the back of your head. And you just hear me in the back now. don't do it let her girl don't do it that brings you joy to me that's just like you know queerness

26:46Trixie Mattel:but you know when i watch your videos i think i've seen all of them at least once you also appear to be enjoying yourself i have a question about there are times where you clearly grab some person like there was one video where you grab this lady and you and her are sitting on a display outdoor furniture just having a chat yes like it was like um like a gail king and katie perry sitting down for a post space yes chat what do they think when they see you what do they think when they realize you're filming what do they think well you know i i do it on purpose i the the whole point of my show is i'm a drag queen i'm a cross-dresser but i can exist in these places and i'm not here to harm anybody i'm just running around shopping so i love literally sometimes i'll grab my friends and i'm like let's go to the ross and we're gonna go find a seat and we're gonna just turn on the camera and just kiki.

27:35Like if we're at home, because the conversations we're having, sure, they might be gross and disgusting and stupid, but girl, we're not hurting anybody. Sure. People get, queer people deserve to be able to be visible and exist in any space. Sure, some gay people, our conversations can be a little risque. We might be a little piggy sometimes with the things that we talk about, but that's how we process our trauma, bitch.

28:01Trixie Mattel:I saw this video of you talking about, I saw this video of you talking about it. You were talking about like... You were talking about like, if you... Like, you were saying like, straight people are mad at us for the way we talk rough, but it's how we process shit that you put on us. Absolutely. And that was so illuminating. Honey, listen. They will sit there and they will criticize us. Oh my God, these queer people are pigs. They're so promiscuous. Look at the things they do with their booty hole. Honey, we do the things we do because of the trauma that you've put us through. Since we were children, you've told us you don't love us.

28:39You don't see us. You don't want us to exist. You want us to change everything about us. You reject us. You put us through so much pain and trauma. And now as adults, this is how we process our pain and trauma. And guess what these motherfuckers are doing behind the scenes, getting their assholes blown out. Blown out, honey. Blown out. You think these conservative Republicans, they don't got wigs and panties and dildos in their clothes? Lindsey Graham. Lindsey's getting pounded. Probably two arms. A vortex. All this furniture. Let me tell you something. I just had a vision. Something tells me the housemaid comes up.

29:13Puts on the glove. Puts on the Crisco. Boom. And Lindsey's just there getting her life. Getting a massage. She can't sit on a bar stool. Sweetie. It just goes. Baby, well, honey, at this point, can we? Honey. I was talking about this the other day. what are we going to do when we reach 70 years old? Our booty holes are going to have no grip. The sin. Imagine the grip. I have, I can't even fit a medium sized butt plug on my ass. Anymore? No, just period. She notoriously has the tightest hole. Tighter than a clamshell. Stop it. 43 years old. I could have sworn you were like one of these extreme anal play girls.

29:49Well, all my friends are. Really? Neither of us really are. No.

29:52Trixie Mattel:Really? No. Like I'm a bottom, but I'm like a Madame Alexander doll. Wait, what? Like, I'm very wholesome. I'm very wholesome. We're going to be fully in love, and then it's going to be one pinky, and I'm going to be like, oh, my God. You know, like, I need a little bit more of a secret garden. Are you the clean girl? Like, you got, like, the sanitizer on the side. You don't want the smells. You don't want the scents. You don't want the colors and the liquids and fluids. No, she's in the mud. I'm not in the mud. I just, I didn't spend, like, the years. It just never appealed to me, but I support the Ranthru dolls.

30:23Trixie Mattel:Right. I have your shirt. This is the Ranthru dolls. I bought three of your shirts. and I actually bought multiples of the same ones.

30:33Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for$15 a month plan that I've been enjoying. It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three month plan equivalent to$15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. Hey everybody, my name is Bob the Drag Queen.

31:07And I'm on the exchange. And we are the hosts of Sibling Rivalry. This is a podcast where two best friends gab, talk smack and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure. And you know, we are family. So we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to Black Lives Matter to interracial dating to other things. Right, Bob? Yes, and it gets messy and we are not afraid to be wrong. So please join us over here at Sibling Rivalry, available anywhere you get your podcasts. You can listen and subscribe for free.

31:42Trixie Mattel:For free, honey.

31:48Trixie Mattel:Hey, I'm Ike Barinholtz. On my new show, Funny You Ask, Trivia starts the conversation, and then things immediately go off the rails. I ask a question. My guests think they know the answer. Sometimes they do. More often, they do not. And then the conversation takes a turn. One trivia question turns into stories about career highs, painful bombs, and behind-the-scenes moments that probably should have remained private. You'll hear confidence, misplaced confidence, bold guesses, wrong answers, quick laughs, and the slow realization that maybe this was a bad idea to say out loud. If you like smart comedy, sharp conversations, and trivia that exists purely to melt people's brains, this is Funny You Ask with me, Ike Barinholtz.

32:30Trixie Mattel:Follow Funny You Ask with Ike Barinholtz on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. I follow the accounts of like, I will say, the gentlemen who get like a secondhand wedding gown and walk around their kitchen. Oh, Gwen. Megan. Megan. Lauren with a Y. I follow these girls and you would think the comments would be like, girl, you need to brush your hair. But the comments are like, so beautiful. So beautiful. The comments are very supportive. I love it. Because they get the selfie stick in the kitchen. Well, you know, people will lie to you, especially on social media. Well, these are like straight men's alt accounts that are dedicated to following cross-dressers.

33:13Trixie Mattel:All they do is comment on the girls and say, you look amazing. Oh my God. Can we talk about this? The crossdresser, the panty sniffers and the DMs. Oh yeah. I be getting so many messages. The other night I got a message. It just said, can you help? Can you help me please? And I said, and I said, oh my God, is this man okay? What's wrong? So then I text back, mind you, why would I even respond to this? I love you. You're tagging me for the community. Do you need a supportive referral? He had one follower, bitch. Alanya Van Zant. She's like, I didn't follow. Honey, are you okay? How can I help you?

33:45He said, can you suck this dick? I said, well, sweetie. Are you close? Where are you located? But it's these panty snippers. They'd be hitting us up. The famous queens on the Instagram. Yeah, but they hit you up. They don't follow through, though. They just weren't good. It's like the grinder trade. What they really want is They just want you to send the picture, send the video. And they're giving you the fantasy that they're going to come over, but they're just at home. They're jerking off to your picture. They should all be sent to jail. 25 years. No parole. But you know what it is, too? It might also be your homegirl.

34:21Because you know the girls, too, they all go on Grindr. I don't care. But no, but let me tell you this. There are girls who they go on Grindr, and they'll pretend to be trained so that they can get, like, let me get her tea. And so they log into their alt account. No, they don't. 30 years no parole. I had a friend who would do that. She would go on Grindr and she would be like, okay, she's trying to get trade. She's trying to get trade. Let me go. Let me get her picks. Let me get her picks so I can get the tea. Meanwhile, they're just playing games with you. There ain't no trade, baby. The trade ain't coming.

34:51What a weird thing to do.

34:52Trixie Mattel:Get a hobby. Well, you know the girls are not. Some of the girls are just not wild. People aren't happy. Macrame. People aren't happy. Trauma. They're not happy. Pain. When they see you out here. The girls are in pain, honey. But when I see you out here living, I hate to say it, but living out loud, living your life. And the thing what I think is so compelling about your videos is the confidence, the comfort to go into any space. And truly, the focus is not, isn't it outrageous that I'm in a Home Depot? Right. The focus is on like, aren't these other people really fucking weird? The situations around, you're like the straight man in these videos.

35:32Trixie Mattel:Like you're the normal mind in these videos and the world around you is plucked and crazy. Are you going to the Home Depot buying a hickory smoked engineered hardwood or? Well, I went to Home Depot to look for trade. Cause you know what? The Home Depot, you can find a man. You know what? You know what? The one in Hollywood. They got the hottest man at the Home Depot. Have you ever known as? The second floor parking lot. The second floor parking lot in the Hollywood one. I haven't been. So are the girls. That's where they cruise. That's where they cruise. Like ground zero. Oh my God. You should just go to the second floor of the Home Depot here and sit in your car and check out.

36:00check out what's up

36:01Trixie Mattel:well you know I use now that I'm a public figure I can't do this anymore you have to change your face again but I used to love I would have to like change my face again wear a whole different wig redhead hopefully I end up looking I'll probably look like Daddy DeVito in drag just do some Clark Kent glasses there'll be one rice rice no marches glasses and turn the bob inside out yep but let me tell you this turn the bob inside out and they'll live let me tell you the trade does not care Mary tell honey Honey. Oh, girl. They don't care. They don't care. Have you ever had trade? I know you haven't, but you got trade as a woman on Craigslist.

36:38Trixie Mattel:She's the original perpetrator. She gives me Craigslist girl. I was the only Craigslist girl. This is Craig, baby. It was her list. It was Craig, and that's her list. This is her fucking list. My dreams were, my whole self-esteem, my whole image, everything was shattered. Because I would do, I'd put on my ad, go in the shower, paint fiercely, do the show or not do the show. And I had three in a night. You know what? I've done that, though. I have prioritized trade over going and doing a video or doing a show. Things I need to do. Wednesday night for$60? No, thank you. You're your own boss, though.

37:13But you know what happens? It goes back to we're in pain and we just want pleasure. Well, but here's the thing, though. This was the gag. The gag was that I thought I was cunt. And I would put the effort in. I look sexy. and I had an 11am appointment with this guy, a paid gig not 11am during the day yes and I overslept 1045 I woke up I was like oh my god I'm so sorry I need a couple hours I just woke up he's like just put a wig on can you believe? oh I believe it it's crazy it's happened I was devastated Mr. Burns over here in the Dakota Fading wig okay but did you ever like do your makeup you're getting you're putting on your lotions you put your wig on your fishnets your lingerie and you look in the mirror and you're like, bitch, creature.

37:56Never. You always felt the fantasy. Yeah, because I had no lights on. You always believed the delusion. No lights on. Okay. Very dim, low light. Okay. Because if you turn the light on, you know they'd run away. No, no, no. Listen to this. So after we fucked, about 10 minutes in, all my makeup was on their ass. Right. So I looked like whodunit. Right. But there was a couple of guys who would chill afterwards, really evolved guys, and one man had the nerve to tell me, if I saw you out during the day, I would have no idea you weren't a woman. You know, that man probably was a little blind. A little blind?

38:31Can I also say - He suffered from something. Glaucoma.

38:34Trixie Mattel:When I worked at the makeup counter, people would come in and they would be with their boyfriend or whatever, and the boyfriend or husband would say, I don't like girls a lot of makeup on. And I remember this one time, this woman said, well, who do you think has not much makeup on? And the gentleman, her husband, boyfriend said, Megan Fox. And that was a moment where I went, as stunning as she is, of course, the woman's dipped. She's in drag. Dipped like an Easter egg. Honey. But straight men have no idea. She's wearing more makeup than me right now. Straight men don't know if you have lashes on.

38:59Trixie Mattel:They don't understand anything. They don't know about foundation. They don't know about tracks. Straight men are just stupid. But they think anything on the eye is mascara. You notice that they call anything here is mascara. Anything here is lipstick or lip gloss. They don't know about pencil. No, I'm on nothing. Yeah. Straight men are just stupid. They're boring. I was so surprised because the bar is totally in the basement for a lot of these guys. They just need a vague shape of a woman, a silhouette, and that's enough for them to get pounded. Put some earrings on a saguaro cactus. Just turn around, put a wig on, put some fish and some panties on.

39:32Or you throw a wig on a fire hydrant. Bend over. Line down the street to fuck that thing.

39:36Trixie Mattel:But you know what it makes me think of when you're Ops and Grinder and stuff and you see that person on a grid where you see the small crossy and you have to click because you have to see it. But then they see that you've looked at their profile. So then they message you and you go, oh, no, I was just looking at you. but not in a sexy way just had to see what was up and it often really is like Drew Droege as Chloe Savigny and you're like well I have to remind myself that person probably has no issue because again the men don't care the men don't care that you they want you put on your cheekbone highlight they don't give a fuck they want the wig and the dick they just want a receptacle where they can just drop their load in all the way around oh most of the time oh you were dropping she was dropping 90 % of the guys on these men.

40:19The guys that would respond to me want to get, it's my first time. Hot dog down the hallway. Girl. Mary. Let me tell you. Waxed, douched. I've never done this before. I had a trade the other night. First night he came over, treated me like a woman. Made me feel like I had ovaries.

40:38Trixie Mattel:XX. A vagina. Everything. Treated you like a woman. A complete. Yelled at you. Yelled at you. Paid you half which we would. You had no rights. He was a misogynist. Right. he leaves two three days later he's like I had so much fun can I come over again but this time I want you to play with me and I said wait what do you mean sweetie put you in what are you talking about sweetheart put him in oh he no he said I have some toys see I said well okay let's you know I'm a sensible futuristic woman I understand the world you're woke I understand I'm woke right I understand the world I know that I understand that men like to play with their anal cavity too right did he bring out a fire hydrant he brought out this toy that was a replica of a horse.

41:21Trixie Mattel:Brownsville. Mind you, he was a pro. I put it in. I said, wait a minute. This is bigger than mine. This is bigger than the toys I use, honey. I'm over here playing with little toys. The kiss of the death is like, we don't need Lou. I'm over here playing with my little pony. He was over here with Spirit, Black Stallion. Yeah, Gargantuan. Right. Raging Stallion Studios. he took it all to the tilt didn't even complain no noise nothing he turned around i said do you like it he his eyes were in the back of his head he said i love it i said these men are not well they're in pain you know what these men are in pain too but they're in trauma and they come to us so we can give them pleasure so they can feel good about themselves because can you imagine the pressure and the pain that society puts these men through well it's true and the part of them that is perhaps, let's be generous, transamorous, or open to it.

42:17Trixie Mattel:That part of them is so stockpiled with the shame of every... First of all, they already hate women. They hate gay people. They hate themselves for secretly jerking off to any version between the two. Right? So they are trying to push through their own layers of armor, discomfort, whatever. They're trying to push through, but the whole time they're balancing out the extreme shame. The extreme... It's because no one gave them permission to just play with their ass. Listen, if we lived in a society where when you're born, they say, listen, you can play with your penis, you can play with your vagina, you can play with your booty hole too.

42:55If all the men in America all of a sudden just started playing with their booty hole, I think that would, we would reach world peace. Well, also, I mean, I was watching this lecture talk about, I mean, way back, like Sparta, ancient Greece. There was no word for homosexuality. All the soldiers fucked each other. Oh, absolutely. But there's no identity. Right. They didn't even have the word. There's no word. And so there was no stigma. And so there was no, I feel like we don't need, I feel like these sexual identities are helpful in a repressed society where we need to find each other. But in a perfect world.

43:30It's because we're born and immediately we're put in prisons. Yeah. You can't do this. If you're a man, you can't do this. If you're a woman, you can't do this. they put themselves in so many prisons and that's why they're so bitter but look bitter look at

43:42Trixie Mattel:these bitches are no honestly the truth is i think about this all the time because i always get tagged on like libs of tiktok or all these places and it's always like me and jimmy kimmel reading the kids like i know that's inflammatory whatever right but i'm always like what is the hang-up obviously you hate gay people right and i guess like you could go religion whatever but something The thing about cross-dressing is so inflammatory. What about Louis the fucking 14th? Girl. The queen. It's all presentation. It's all arbitrary too. In this world, in order to do what you got to do, you have to present a certain way.

44:18We are just so free and we are not in prison that we can present ourselves any which way. One day we can be a man. One day we can be a woman. We know how to use all the tools at our disposal to gain power. We teach ourselves to become powerful. Because if we were born and we followed their rules and we stayed in their prisons, we would have no power. They wouldn't care about us. They wouldn't respect us. They wouldn't accept us. They would pay us dust. And they get bitter that we figure it out. We set ourselves free. And we come out here and we're like, bitch, I'm going to make some money. I'm going to buy that house.

44:56I'm going to buy that car. I'm going to make my dreams come true. And I'm going to do it with a wig. and some lashes, bitch. And you're going to be bitter about it. And you're going to have to turn on the TV and see it. And you're going to have to listen to me talk about how if you just started playing with your booty hole, your problems. Let me tell you, to all the straight men in America.

45:14Trixie Mattel:They love our show. If you just started playing with your booty hole, you would solve so much of your trauma, your pain. All that stress. Release the pain. Just find a cross-dresser and have her put a dildo in your ass and you will live your life. That is a great political platform. That's what they need to do. Obama, change. You know what I mean? Let me tell you something. Donald Trump, if he, Melania, if you just started to introduce ass playing into Trump's life. What do you think? He might think she hasn't. You think he already does that? Oh, I'm sure he's had that nasty ass punched up. That nasty, flabby orange ass just wrecked.

45:56He's probably one of the, you remember back in the day they used to always say that gay people would like put gerbils in their ass? Richard Gere. Donald Trump is, he has that gerbil in there. He's the perpetrator. The gerbil is in there.

46:08Trixie Mattel:And the more damaged you are, the animal gets bigger. It's the capybara. It's the small pig. Honey, what at this point, honey? It's like a, what is it, the hyena at this point? Guinea pig. Honey. Something. Sweetie. but like I always think about literally these fucking idiots who get so hung up on drag if they just opened a history book and went back three, four or five hundred years the fucking king of France looks like you do you know what I mean it's like all this shit is arbitrary because you know the mug was busted you know back in those days the makeup was not cute and sweetie he had so many fistulas stop it black ooze coming out the booty hole from all the ass play the court the people in the court had to wear scented because they probably didn't even clean the toys oh girl it was probably wooden toys they would just shove them in his ass that's why he had all those those boils and fistulas and things how did you how did you decide on the wig you wear in your videos how did you decide on that little Dora Explorer wig because it is kind of a quick little Jazz Masters calls it the Dora the Explorer yes Dora the Explorer absolutely I am Dora and I am exploring and investigating the world let me tell you but it really came down to ease of use to me a bob can last forever you can suck dick in a bob you can run around in a bob all day you can hide your as long as you got your low brush you're good you can wear jewelry because realistically I'm out there in the real world if I was wearing one of these wigs running around the Ross people would be like what is going on because the bob is also very low key like somebody could be a few hours away and out of the corner of their eye they see your hair right now out of the corner of the eye they're like right and then it turns into like what are they filming is this a filming people could see you and they realistically could be like is that some lady i for the most part i get completely ignored no one cares no one's bothered that i'm just running around in the aisles shopping around for things like no one cares but which i'm glad you know i don't want to be out there like having people come up to me and being rude to me or trying to like you know i don't want to hear their bullshit.

48:15I don't want to hear their ignorance. I'm going to read them down if they ever try it. But I'm glad it hasn't happened. And for the most part, they leave me alone. But the Bob, to me, it's just easy. I love that. I always travel with a backup Bob. It's easy breezy. Yeah, and it always looks good. And it can last for years.

48:33Trixie Mattel:My backup Bob is Bob the Drag Queen. And if I don't feel like doing this show, I just grab her. Can I say to you, I also think in a lot of your videos, maybe you're playing with the audience, but a lot of times men are noticing you. Yes. She can't go in these stores without being like, well, he just craned his neck to look over here and look me up and down. The men are interested. It's because these men, they're pent up. Yeah. And they see me, I'm done up. I'm wearing cute hair. You know, like they, there's a lot of men that are just feminine attracted. Right. I have a theory. I feel like human beings are not actually attracted to a penis or vagina.

49:07They're attracted to either femininity or masculinity. For sure. And so men, even if you don't have a vagina, but you're giving femininity, they're going to come over here. They're going to try to get it. They're going to come over here, get this piece. Right. Because they're attracted to the femininity. There's been moments where I'm just male presenting. But, you know, I obviously look like a big old F.A.G. I got my brows done. I got my hair in a ponytail. And they will hit on me.

49:35Trixie Mattel:Right. Because they know. Well, you're also in your little, like a Gaga just dance. Right. But they also know they're like, he's going to go down on me. Right. And I bet he has an amazing hairpiece at home. Right. That I would love to see. Right. They know we're going to give him a show too. He wants to borrow some jewelry. These people are not stupid. They know the dolls, the girls, you know, the drag queens. We're going to give them a show. I love doing a little. In or out of stage. We're going to give them a show, honey. And they know. I do that showgirls thing in the pool. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! It's so, it's thrilling.

50:08Trixie Mattel:And that's just you at home. Yeah. Nobody there, yeah. The other thing is, I guess, if you're filming with your phone, too, you can be so discreet. People walk by shopping, don't even know that you're filming. Yeah, and I wear my little microphones. I put them in my barn, my titties. And so I'm walking around half the time. I'm reading them, like, down. I love when you're at Ross. And they don't even know. You're like Ross, and you're halfway across the store, but the microphone is so clean. So you just see her head bobbing, walking through an aisle, talking about clothes. And her voice is clear as day.

50:37Trixie Mattel:It's so security footage. It is security footage down. It's so under the radar. So these people also, the way your camera's set up, they must think you're just talking to yourself. Yeah. Yeah. They don't know what I'm doing. And half the time, these people, they don't care. Girl, they're over there. They're food stamps. They're trying to come for their food stamps. They're shopping. Honey, they're struggling to put food on the table. Their wife, honey, ain't giving them no cookie in a minute. So then they see me. I'm walking around with my little purse, my little bob, and I'm like, yes honey don't do it little girl in their mind they're like oh she's gonna let me have it let me go over there and talk to her she's gonna finger my booty bitch you know i'm gonna go in do you ever feel unsafe out there filming these no it's great that's inspiring that's i'm also very like you got your gun in my mind i actually i don't have any weapons maybe i should get one but i'm just very like bitch you don't own the world you don't own the world you don't own the planet.

51:37Listen, you can be conservative. You can be crazy. Stay on your ranch. Don't come over here to my house and tell me I can't do the things that I need to do to live my life, bitch. And we're in a public place. Let me live my life. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just running around the Ross. I'm looking for a size 11 shoe. Do you got it? Right. No, I will not

51:56Trixie Mattel:take 10 and a half. And it's wide. Do you have a wide bitch? Because I'm a big bitch. I need a big shoe. Right. And if you don't got the shoe, honey, I don't even need to talk to you. Get out of my face, sweetie. I gotta go. Let me go on over to the Marshalls. Let me go over to the Marshalls, sweetie. Damn. What stores can we look up to? I'm not bothered by these people. What stores are you going to next? Oh, my God. Well, there's... I don't even know. I've been everywhere. Have you done World Market? I haven't. I feel like that would be ripe. Oh, I need to go to... Because they have weird shit.

52:21Yes, they do. They got strange food. Strange smells. How about the American Doll Store? I'm just kidding. I want... That would be a fun video. The Grove. It would be strange, too, because I'm not, like, one of these older men that has a weird obsession with dolls. I'm not that girl Me neither But you know what I mean? But it would be fun for me to walk in there and be like Girl, what's going on over here with these dolls? You know?

52:44Trixie Mattel:I don't know one adult man who collects American Girl Because they're not chic, they're not giving anything They're not cunty They're not like Barbie It's like a cholera ridden Emily With historical storylines But you like Barbie You don't like brats No I don't like Brats Those are ran through Brats are for whores Yeah Brats are for whores but it's like a whore That she doesn't really care It's a cookie monster pajama girl No self esteem You know what it is for that girl she wears those tarantula nails And the tarantula Lashes And they're like one going this way one the other way But in her mind she's turning it I've been watching that show Iyanla Van Zant Fix My Life Is that her name?

53:30Trixie Mattel:Not on my watch Ayanla. Ayanla. Ayanla. And a lot of the people, she primarily aids women. Obviously, there's men there because men are often the problems with the women. She gives AIDS to women. No, she helps the women. Yeah, yeah. And some of the lashes being presented on that show are... Egregious. It's just like one this, one this. One this, one this. There's no symmetry. The blinking, it's just like almost bright white blue strip. Does she ever do Fix My Lash? At this point, they're doing the Trixie Mattel liner with a lash. I know, but also, this show was from like 2000, like 10 years ago now.

54:00Trixie Mattel:right so it wasn't i mean i think lash technology is better now was that she was the one who was like is that something you want well let me tell you you never get it yeah it's really fierce the other day she told all these women she said all these women were like oh my husband hit me my oh these women are the other day 30 they were um 14 women there and they all had been pregnant by the same guy and all together he had 38 children who has the time and she said to them well first of all, it's like pregnancy abuse. I'm like, this is crazy. Second of all, she said, all of you need a bob. You know what a bob is?

54:34Trixie Mattel:And the girls were like, and she goes, battery operated boyfriend. Damn. She said y 'all are too horny. Three of the women were pregnant at the same time with the guys. Oh my god. And I was like, this man needs to be put in jail. I will say though, low key, it makes me think. The nut is good. He must be good. He must be putting it down real good. What kind of magic dick does he have? I'm over here like, is he on Grindr? Can I find him on Grindr? That sperm count is through the roof. You'll be the next pregnant woman. I want to be the next one. The pregnant woman. He might be able to get me pregnant finally.

55:08I've been trying for years. It never happens. It doesn't stick.

55:11Trixie Mattel:When the drag is so good that you miss a period, honey. Honey. Girl. Well, then you start getting scared. You guys are going to the gynecologist for your next video. I do. You know, I told my mom I went to the LGBT center, you know, to go get tested for all the things. and I'm explaining it to my mom and I'm like, mom, it's like me going to the gay gynecologist. Because she doesn't understand like in her work, she doesn't understand that, you know, we are gay men and we have different needs and we need a special doctor that, you know, is going to take care of our body. It's like a gay gynecologist.

55:42He goes in there, you bend over, he goes in your ass and checks it. Scrapes the bar. Right. Scrapes everything off. And my mother, she was so lost and I was like, the only way to explain it, it's the gay gyno. Yeah.

55:52Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Honey. What do they think of your wonderful success? Well, luckily, no one recognized me or they knew me, but they're, you know, they're trying to be professional and they don't want to make it weird. No, I mean your mom and stuff. Oh. My mom is trying to be professional. I thought you were talking about the doctor, bitch. She said, well, they rolled out a red carpet for me at the LA LGBT Center. No, I do think if you are a gay, gay, even like celebrity, it is more, it's more, it's slightly embarrassing to go get tested because people do just like... Oh, it's very embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah, you get there and you're like, bitch, they know I'm the doll.

56:31Trixie Mattel:But then I'm like, well, fine. If people go home and tell me that I'm... If people go tell their friends they saw me investing in my sexual wellness, tell everyone, bitch, I'm not ashamed. At the same time, you have no privacy. I will say though, now they give you the little test tube and they're like, go in the restroom, do it yourself. But I do remember like maybe six, seven years ago, I would go to the doctor and my gay doctor would be like, okay, bend over, pull your pants down, bend over. And he would swab me. That was embarrassing. Mary, I was a study member in the vaccine for HPV for men years and years and years ago.

57:03And when I tell you, the swabs that this motherfucker did, it was like I killed his whole family. He would jam it in and then like it was trauma. Did it ever come out dirty? He broke it off in my ass. Okay. Well, you know, because a swab, sometimes you stick it in. And as clean as you think you are, honey, when you go in there and you say for 10 seconds, twirl it for 10 seconds. Sometimes you'll see a little speck of something.

57:30Trixie Mattel:I have confused the brown swab. Okay. Either it was probably dark red. Okay. Blue or something crazy. Okay. Girls out there, you see? Our swab comes out dirty, too. Yeah. I went to, once I had a little something something going on. and I went to the clinic and the nurse or the doctor was like, oh yeah, this is definitely that and we have some medical students here who would, or are saying that, is it okay if they come in? I said, spread your ass. No, absolutely the fuck not. Thank you very much. Yeah. And then the medical student, oh my God, Kati, I love you. That's what I was afraid of. They would have got you.

58:04It could have happened. They would have got you.

58:05Trixie Mattel:My proctologist, somebody in the office told me that they were a fan and they said it after they had already seen everything and I actually was just like, well now instead of me wondering if you know if I see like an earring I'm like what if they're gay I think it's unprofessional I kind of felt better I did feel better sure but I think it's unprofessional I was like oh good you know and to you so there is a line for you well I think it's like if I'm a big fan so that to me says that person's gonna go home to their significant other be like oh I just scraped off some herpes of Akachi's cunt today or whatever you know what I mean like that's what I she had a fissure and I closed it up they got you if everybody wants to join on the joy train which is watching your content you really are the best you're the only person doing anything like what you do it's just amazing and you are by far the most beautiful guest everybody before you dogs brick brick just DOGs everyone DOGs and BRICKs because you know the girls nowadays they're tired they're lazy they have no inspiration anymore why do they drag no one looks I mean you said this earlier lazy no one looks different no one is just You know what it is?

59:13They don't believe in themselves. Bitch, if you believe in yourself and you accept yourself the way you are, you don't make excuses, you don't apologize, and you just are you. Really you. You radically accept yourself. You're going to be an original.

59:27Trixie Mattel:You're going to be an original. I love that. Yeah. What was that? With that whole cliche, it's like, be you, that's the only person that nobody else can do it. Yeah. Baby, there's people out there, they got those humps in their back. Goiters. Yeah. up baby we need more bricks in the world we need humps and goiters and drag it's been enough we got it skinny people we got it pretty people we got it we're done we're tired you're boring we need fucking scary creatures out here just being glamorous and giving us everything the humpback buck tooth goiter please and that's where i come in the girls with the dark in between the thighs with some skin tags bring it out little girl i want to see it that's what i live for those tags baby sweetie put a ribbon on it give us the the palette the skin tag palette the collab yeah drop the collab let's do a collab skin tags and dark in between the thighs rosacea we can do different shades of brown we can do different shades of brown different shades of like red for you know when it's irritated we can do all that girl it would be a sensation right so neck braces cover up press the number one in the comments if you would live for the brick palette with the skin tags and the dark in between the thighs the dark in the neck honey the palette for the girls whose feet swell.

1:00:38Baby, let me tell you, the feet, the girls. The palace for the girls. The elephantitis girls. Make some noise for the elephantitis dogs. Diabetics sucks. Yes. People can find you. They save lives.

1:00:48Trixie Mattel:They save feet. People can find you at Luscious Massacre everywhere, right? Luscious Massacre everywhere. My show is called Drag Investigations. It's on YouTube and I'm running around just, you know, being a woman in the world, minding my business while I'm, you know, being very shady. I think you are like the best thing that's happened to drag in five years. would you please I'm not serious would you please do my makeup I'll pay you I would love to we'd have so much fun I'm telling you though I'm gonna put a timer it's gonna be 30 minutes and I'm just gonna turn you into a woman you said 45 before it'll be 30 minutes but that was 15 minutes ago but let me tell you this it will be one of those trademarks you're gonna look so beautiful and so delicious you're gonna wanna pull some trade like me and Scott Barnes did me I'm gonna go right to the doctor but let me tell you something did you see you would have pulled trade in that mug of course I would have you would have the train would have pounded you down till the Elmer's glue started like cracking up and turning into oatmeal I looked like Ann Coulter on HGH but I felt it I was she face-timed me I took about 75 ,000 screenshots and all the pictures were me walking in different lightings and going but wait but can you believe that is the same man who does J-Lo yeah it just goes to show you it helps to look like J-Lo it helps it does that's a really good helper J-Lo does a lot of the work yes it really does Thank you so much for joining us.

1:02:08Trixie Mattel:Thank you for having me. This was so much fun. You're the best thing. Thank you. You are too, bitch. You're the best thing. She's the best thing. I don't know if I say bye. Pod's over. Canceled.

1:02:37Thank you.