The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

7:29Trixie Mattel:No. But I always am like, not only is it hidden, I'm always like, I wonder if I should barricade it for the end of the world with the bottled water.

7:36Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, hey, earthquake preparedness, maybe not the end of the world, but living in LA, or an Earth, if you've got the space, which you do, I would highly suggest stocking any extra like panic room situation with some earthquake preparedness supplies.

7:51Trixie Mattel:But I shouldn't be in the basement for an earthquake. That's not good, Mary. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

7:56Katya Zamolodchikova:No, I'm saying just in your house in general.

7:58Trixie Mattel:Oh, right, right, right. You know, like if you say you get your house gets falls apart around you and you get stuck there, whatever.

8:06Katya Zamolodchikova:Water. Fresh potable water.

8:09Trixie Mattel:I drink the pool. Tea.

8:12Katya Zamolodchikova:Or tea. Wait, is it chlorinated or salinated?

8:18Trixie Mattel:I don't know, actually. Really? The pool gentleman who comes weekly. Is it chlorinated? His name's Edmund and I don't know what he does. I could just put that in my balls. The pool water.

8:30Katya Zamolodchikova:What do you mean?

8:31Trixie Mattel:Squirt that in my balls.

8:32Katya Zamolodchikova:Oh, yes. Of course. You just actually, you take a little, you take a little, like a diabetic needle, you stick it in your balls and under the water and then the physics of it just goes right up there.

8:44Trixie Mattel:The FAGs are hurting. The FAGs are hurting.

8:49Katya Zamolodchikova:The FAGs are hurting. Wait, the what?

8:52Trixie Mattel:Remember when Luscious was here? Honey, the FAGs are hurting. Trauma, the trauma. The FAGs are hurting. That whole episode, the little faces she was making.

9:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Mama, Mallory, my friend, was watching it. She was obsessed now with Luscious, of course. And I was telling her that there was a moment where you can't see it, but she winks at me and I lose it. And you didn't catch it because it was like, it was so, you know, like, and I was annoyingly laughing at something you didn't even know I was laughing at. And I was like so bummed because it was, it's so funny.

9:27Trixie Mattel:Well, she would say something and then she'd react to what she said. She would like say something and then go like.

9:32Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, and then she was like at the tail end of something, she was like. I just love I got a passion for winking

9:41Trixie Mattel:I love it I be saying the FAGs are hurting I be driving around LA saying the FAGs are hurting I'm in the car terror My boyfriend's sick I'm like the FAGs are hurting Like The FAGs are hurting Yeah they cannot handle this womanhood They can't take it

9:56Katya Zamolodchikova:She is just It just doesn't get I mean I'm so She's really really really become my favorite drag queen Oh my god Same. Honestly, she's blown all the other bitches out of the water. She's taking all these hoes. She's wrapping them up and she's throwing them in the garbage. Brick! Yeah. Cross dress. I mean, the fact that she edits our clips with her own audio. She's a freak from hell.

10:20Trixie Mattel:I mean that lovingly. She's a freak from hell. It's great.

10:22Katya Zamolodchikova:She's inspiring. She's audacious. She's courageous.

10:26Trixie Mattel:She's inspiring. No, I know. She inspires me. Her creativity inspires me. Also, her car, I mean, I'm not trying to be corny, but her courage is, she's courageous.

10:38Katya Zamolodchikova:Going into Macy's? Do you think I'm going to go into Macy's with Bus Driver on? I'm not going to. I don't think you should.

10:43Trixie Mattel:I think she can.

10:44Katya Zamolodchikova:No, I think she can and she does and she does it. I do want one of those wigs though.

10:48Trixie Mattel:You do? I see with a breath. You know, can you tell me whether or not I can do this? I used to have this bob, this 613 bob when I was like, this is like pre-drag race. it was short in the back and was super graduated long in the front so it was like this long I kind of loved it it was like this long in the front how much volume are we talking about? not enough but I could maybe like sew some tracksuit or something I kind of want to go through a straight bob era I just want to know about the volume I never wear straight wigs and at least I've been like how about some straight wigs? maybe with some hats

11:24Katya Zamolodchikova:fascinators

11:26Trixie Mattel:headbands the VGs are hurting the VGs are struggling struggling.

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12:52Trixie Mattel:Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions, and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan.

12:59Katya Zamolodchikova:This episode is sponsored by Thrive Market. Dear Diary, it's Mae Julia. It's 6-12am in Dorchester, and I've already packed three lunches, located one missing cleat, signed a permission slip with grape jelly, and yelled, We are not late, you are late, at a clock while trying to finish cutting the crust off three ham sandwiches before the school bus arrived. Between carpool, bake sales, book reports, I find out the night before, and whatever fresh chaos my children have cooked up, I truly do not have time to sit around calculating whether a grocery membership is worth it. But then my best friend Darlene, who's the coolest of friends because she wears a jean jacket with shoulder pads and knows all sorts of things about Europe, conned me over at Coffee and Scone down at Grounds for DeVos and said, listen, just trust me.

13:38Katya Zamolodchikova:Thrive Market is the bee's knees. And you know what? It is the bee's knees. I now belong to Thrive Market and I'm loving it. Turns out the membership breaks down to about$5 a month, which is less than I spend on orange slices for the boys after soccer practice and I can shop right on the app while waiting in line at the supermarket. Thrive provides weekly sales, auto shipping, free gifts, and the calm reassurance that no one is sneaking anything sketchy with trans fats into my pantry. My kids still get mac and cheese snacks and juice boxes, but now it's Goudo's mac and cheese, Simple Mills treats, and probiotic soda, which somehow makes me feel like I haven't failed as a mom.

14:11Katya Zamolodchikova:I can even filter high protein or low sugar in seconds and stop overthinking every label. Anyway, diary, I gotta go. It's Friday night and the ladies are coming over for a Nancy Maez marathon. The Chardonnay is chilling. The chunky jewelry catalogs are out. And thanks to Thrive Market, consider the snacks handled. Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link, thrivemarket.com slash bald for 30 % off your first order plus a free$60 gift. Again, that's thrivemarket.com slash bald.

14:43Trixie Mattel:Girl, speaking of struggling. The bricks are struggling. They're crumbling. I went to Jackson Hole, Wyoming last weekend with heterosexuals. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

14:53Katya Zamolodchikova:What is this?

14:54Trixie Mattel:Jackson Hole, Wyoming. It is a beautiful vacation town for winter activities. Oh, the skiing. Snowmobiling, skiing. Sunny Bono, Natasha Hestridge. Right. So we get there, love it, love it, love it, hanging out, partying, love it. You love skiing. I haven't skied in so long. My boyfriend in college, Matt, who died, his family would take me skiing. So I learned to ski when I was younger. But I was with a group whom a lot of them hadn't skied. And I thought, it's been so long, I'm going to take the class with everybody, the group class. I probably halfway through the class could have left and gone to do other things.

15:26Trixie Mattel:But I thought, don't be a con. Solidarity. Be with the group. Also, how often do you have an instructor watching you ski? You can still learn a lot. Just because you can make it down the hill without dying doesn't mean you have something to learn. Thank you. So it was really educational. I was working on my parallel skiing. and bright sunny day. The type of ski experience where it's cold, but not too cold. Like not sweating, but it's like, feels like I'd be active without being sweaty. And then the snow is powdery or whatever. Powdery and gorgeous. And then lovely, a middle apres ski, go have some lovely French onion soup with a margarita.

16:01Trixie Mattel:Maybe a hot toddy. Of course. Have two or three martinis, go back down the hill. In the dark.

16:08Katya Zamolodchikova:Of course.

16:08Trixie Mattel:it was really really fun it reawakened the magic of skiing now I never skied when I was younger because where I'm from it's definitely a rich people sport and as I can gather it still is baby it is

16:20Katya Zamolodchikova:more so than golf it is very much a rich person yeah and so

16:26Trixie Mattel:those type of activities because I'm not generationally wealthy I always feel uncomfortable because it always feels this is the rich people function this is the rich people function but I have so much fun skiing. I love to ski. I love to move that fast. Love the sticks. Love the outfits.

16:43Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah.

16:44Trixie Mattel:It's a lot of gear. It's a lot of gear. Love the lifts. Oh yeah. That, that is really,

16:48Katya Zamolodchikova:I would just do the gondola all day.

16:49Trixie Mattel:Yeah. Love the gondola. Um, loved it.

16:53Katya Zamolodchikova:Loved it. Any, um, anybody,

16:55Trixie Mattel:Gwyneth Paltrow into a tree or whatever? No, but I kept saying, I lost a half day of skiing. Like I kept saying it. I lost a whole half day of skiing. Kept saying it. Well,

17:04Katya Zamolodchikova:I lost a whole half day.

17:05Trixie Mattel:Lost a whole.

17:06Katya Zamolodchikova:what is a whole half day? It's like the entire half day. But not a whole day. No, no, no. But I mean, if we're talking half, it's a full half. Couldn't she say,

17:16Trixie Mattel:I lost half a whole day of skiing? It's about a cup half empty or half full.

17:22Katya Zamolodchikova:She wants to really, really drive home that it was 50 % of the day. And what did she say at the end when she left court? She said something like, I wish you well. I wish you well. I think that's healthy. Yeah, because she's evolved because that guy was a fucking, just trying to take her to the cleaners and he was a boo-boo and waste her her time and where she could have been doing entrepreneurship for her company, cooking delicious meals for her children and her husband. Yeah. Playing mahjong with her girlfriends, perhaps anything.

17:52Trixie Mattel:The skiing was really fun early, very early in the car by seven. It's a little extreme. So then the next day, the next day was a different winter activity.

18:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Did you stay at the winter at the chalet overnight? my friend rented the most beautiful rental home I've ever stayed in.

18:08Trixie Mattel:Oh my God. So extra bedrooms. We had like too many bedrooms, like for like 12 people. It was crazy. Hot tub, giant kitchen. And guess somebody who was staying there was a professional cookie chef. So I walked in and special cookies were being made. I said, yes, yes, yes. What's a special cookie? Like making the toffee from scratch that we pour on the chocolate chip cookies. I said, he like, you want me to suck that? I was like red.

18:35Katya Zamolodchikova:He was like jerking the, not jerking. He was milking the cow. Yeah. I mean, I guess I could say his name is Von Vreeland.

18:41Trixie Mattel:He makes delicious cookies. Oh, I don't know. But anyway, he has, he does like baking and cookbooks and stuff. And so I was, it's fun to watch people who are really good in the kitchen, do something.

18:52Katya Zamolodchikova:And it's also even funner to eat what they do in the kitchen.

18:55Trixie Mattel:Yeah. They were making tacos and I said, I think I should help. And I saw the knife skills and I just walked away. I said like, they don't want your fucking help, bitch. Go sit and wait to eat like a dog. I sit on the floor. They open the trash. I'm like, wait. I'm just in there.

19:13Trixie Mattel:Well, I was in the trash. So then the next day I go, gosh, skiing was a little early. And they go, well, you're going to love this. We had to get the next day up in the car by like 645 or something. That's okay. To go. And this is a thing. Rollerblading. This is just going to take me one second to talk about. because this is like trauma. So where I'm from, snowmobiling is huge, right? People rode snowmobiles to school. Snowmobiling was huge. There's every highway, every road has a small snowmobile route. Snowmobiling is huge. And rich people love to come to the country to snowmobile. And country people use snowmobiles as transportation.

19:48Katya Zamolodchikova:But I don't like snowmobiling.

19:51Trixie Mattel:It's straight men. I know. Straight men with ATVs. They love it. They freak out.

19:57Katya Zamolodchikova:My childhood best friend's dad, they were big into snowmobiles. I just don't freak out.

20:01Trixie Mattel:And I just don't freak out for ATVs. But of course, I'm happy to be included. What is ATV? All-terrain vehicle.

20:06Katya Zamolodchikova:It's not a television. That's what I keep thinking. That's what I... Go on.

20:14Trixie Mattel:Sorry. Go on. ATV. A TV. A TV. So I get up. It's early. And they give you a bunch of warm clothes. Who's they? The snowmobiling place is like, oh, you guys all have warm clothes. But if you want, here's bigger boots. Here's whatever. So we're suited out.

20:28Katya Zamolodchikova:Do they give you a marathon crinkle blanket?

20:32Trixie Mattel:No. So the night before, everybody's drinking alcohol. And I haven't really been drinking. So I was like, I'll do a little drinking alcohol. Had some alcohol. The next day, we're up. It was like 7 o 'clock in the morning. We're getting ready to snowmobile. I'm just like, oh, my God. Everybody's in a room this big trying on winter clothes. And I go, hold on a second. Go in the bathroom. Immediate diarrhea. 12 people, 11 people there outside the door. And I'm just in there like. Blowing. But I thought better now than what? Halfway up a mountain. And then I give them back their snow pants and say, hi, there's shit all in it.

21:04Katya Zamolodchikova:I would give them back.

21:06Trixie Mattel:Right. I would take them home. Right. And wear them, continue to wear them. You don't like snowing. I just don't like snowmobiling. And I'm so grateful to be included. But it was just cold and loud. And you're driving to nowhere. I just was like, we're just driving. Oh, you're not going down a hill?

21:23Katya Zamolodchikova:No.

21:23Trixie Mattel:No. but I did get to witness an engagement which was exciting

21:28Katya Zamolodchikova:on the snowmobile?

21:31Trixie Mattel:I've never seen it in the moment like real ring comes out the person's surprised I felt like I was watching a viral video did you start screaming and crying? well no what did they look like? Jackson Hole is very cool Wyoming is cool it's very country, it's very mountains It's very Brokeback. I wish I could quit you. It's very, we don't need no lube. We're in this tent. Well, it's also very Matthew Shepard. Like that happened in Wyoming. So it's not. Well, that's nice. Yeah. But it is so beautiful. I mean, maybe it's because I'm from the flatlands. Mountains. Beautiful, snowy mountains. Oh my God.

22:11Trixie Mattel:Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful. Dangerous. And dangerous. And this was my issue is I need. I didn't get enough sleep the night before. Right. Five hours is enough for me on a group trip. Five hours? Yeah, because everyone's up being partying wild. And then it's up so early. But I, my arthritic self, I need the full eight hours. So that's tough. Five hours, especially for skiing. And it was so early. And I hadn't been having any water because of the alcohol. And it was so early that no one would have made breakfast. So I get in the car, you guys, at like 6 a.m. Hungover, dehydrated.

22:48Trixie Mattel:I barely know most people in this group. So I'm trying to be my best self. but my best self. Yeah. So I get in the car and I sit there and somebody was like, Brian, are you all right? And I go, sorry, I'm not my normal self without food, water or sleep, which I like totally meant like nice, but it came out. I went, I sound like I hate the trip. Yeah. Well, I don't hate the, I usually have fun,

23:09Katya Zamolodchikova:but when I'm being tortured, I'm not so pleasant.

23:12Trixie Mattel:Somebody's paying for me to have a wonderful winter experience. And so then when I got a moment alone after the diarrhea, I went to the host and said, I hope you know, earlier when I made that comment, And I was just kind of, it's a way I kind of deal with discomfort. And then you shoved that dirty diaper in his face. I said, but I'm having a great time. And they were like, that's okay. That's very funny. Also very you. So then somebody was like, should we stop? There's no food where we're going. Should we stop at this gas station? I go, yes. There's no food where we're going. Because I think everybody else is like, we're just here for the vibes.

23:43Trixie Mattel:And I was like, love you all. Vibes do not have calories. If I don't get in here, get in here in this, in this 7-Eleven, If I don't get a drinkable yogurt and a donut, I'm going to freak out.

23:52Katya Zamolodchikova:In order for my eyes to go past a flutter in the morning, I need at least 12 pounds of sugar. Right. 12 pounds. Right. And then like 13 pounds of heavy cream.

24:05Trixie Mattel:And so then I get back on the carrier, the people carrier van, like a giant, what do you call it? Sprinter. Sprinter. I get in the van and I've got, I'm the only person who's bought food really. And I have tons of snacks. and I'm ripping through them. I'm eating little Doritos. I'm fucking it up. I'm eating my breakfast foods. One of my foods is a Bartlett pear. I'm eating the pear and I'm just looking at everyone like, aren't we, don't we all feel better that we got food? Even though I'm the only one eating. I'm like, I think we're all better now. Yeah, everybody's feeling good, right? Yeah. Wait, so they just didn't eat.

24:35Trixie Mattel:I think everybody maybe had a snack before I got up and I didn't get up early enough to eat. So maybe it's on me. Or maybe they had the most incredible, unforgettable, huge breakfast and you just were up late. I think that is it. I waited till the last second. and as much as I don't want to be the squeaky wheel if somebody's saying should we stop for a snack yes! I mean it's like that would be like am I not a Nicky fan?

25:01Trixie Mattel:Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace or as it was originally pronounced among you know over in Italy Squarespace The Italians were actually the first people to decide that if you want to have any kind of business or interest or side hustle or project you should have a squad of spatches which is basically a website that instead of having to listen when you're a brand new business or you're starting a new hobby or offering a new service everything is already so self-contained and everything's at a shoestring budget everything is like a tiny margin for profit the last thing you have money for is to be paying somebody else to be like a webmaster and web designer and this is what the web designers don't want to tell you i'm going to tell you guys this i have made my own websites and i have paid people to make my own websites and it's so much better to be the one who can just control it and update it yourself.

25:51Trixie Mattel:I'm telling you. And if you're somebody who's built a website for me in the past, I hope you're listening to this. Okay. What I really love about it is the design intelligence. So basically it's very cutting edge technology to help unlock your strongest ideas because the problem with making anything graphic, the blank paper, the blank paper is the scariest part, right? But more intuitive tools and maybe even templates make things so easy to just get the ball rolling. Okay. The other thing I really love about Squarespace is you can sell content right in the website. So let's say you're a yoga instructor or you make video content or some kind of membership of something.

26:29Trixie Mattel:You can literally put your content behind a paywall and earn revenue from your own website, which is pretty fabulous. I mean, if you're really trying to cultivate your own little community. I also love the email campaigns. If you can make your email campaigns interesting with really good tools and really good deals, you can really drive business that way. Go over to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash bald to save 10 % off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com slash bald.

27:01Katya Zamolodchikova:This episode is sponsored by Olipop. And with that refreshing sound of my Olipop can opening, I'd like to take you back. Back to my childhood. Back to Dorchester, Massachusetts, to a time when the sidewalks were our kingdom, the Rialto Saturday matinee was my church, and the sun set up just long enough for one more game of stickball. Every time I crack open an Ollipop classic root beer, I'm suddenly 10 years old again. Knees scraped, pockets full of marbles, and racing home to listen to Fibber McGee and Molly on the wireless before the street lights came on. Olipop's cream soda tastes like some afternoons on the stoop, a radio humming somewhere in the distance with a doo-wop song, and the world smelling faintly of asphalt, baseball cards, impossibility.

27:46Katya Zamolodchikova:Their classic grape takes me right back to the conistar filled with nickel candy, wax paper, and dreams of popping in that water chewing gum and becoming the Babe Ruth of the 7th Street Sandlot. Thing is, Olipop tastes like the sodas of my youth, but it's a whole new kind to soda. It's got that classic soda flavor with a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health with high fiber and low sugar. Olipop is my afternoon pick-me-up on a bad day and my quiet moment of nostalgia in a can. Two out of three Americans deal with digestive issues and most of us don't get enough fiber. Olipop is tackling both while delivering taste that truly takes you back.

28:23Katya Zamolodchikova:For me, it's not just a soda. It's a love letter to where I came from and proof that growing up doesn't mean letting go. Get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in the store and we'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor, any retailer. Head to drinkolipop.com slash bald. Olipop is sold online, drinkolipop.com and Amazon and available in the soda aisle and with the chilled beverages at thousands of retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Target, Costco, and Whole Foods. Why won't you go to the movies?

28:53Trixie Mattel:I know you don't like it. What do you want me to experience because when I go to the movies, it's overpriced. I sit in a room full of strangers. That's what I'm paying for. The movies aren't back. That's being perpetrated by AMC. The movies aren't back. But the movies are dying. Baby, we got TVs at home. The little screen killed the big screen. Okay. The little screen is no match for the big screen. Sure. But you notice that people are saying you have to go to the movies. But see, you have a giant screen. But the people who are saying you have to go experience the movies are the people who make movies.

29:33Katya Zamolodchikova:Generally, that is true. They're often the most vocal. However, I...

29:37Trixie Mattel:AMC Hollywood, matinee of the Country Bears,$275. I mean, that is what we're working with here.

29:44Katya Zamolodchikova:Mary, if I had not seen Dune 2 in the theater... Right. Right. The substance in the theater? one of the best experiences I've ever had at the cinema.

29:56Trixie Mattel:Sure.

29:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Mulholland Drive in the theater? Are you kidding me? With friends? Talked about it hours at the cafe later?

30:03Trixie Mattel:I am re-watching something which is crazy which is

30:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Home videos of me doing my naked dances?

30:12Trixie Mattel:Making a murderer. I haven't seen it since it came out. Do you remember that? I don't get into any of these Tix Place in northern Wisconsin. I remember seeing on the local news all the time when it was happening. This woman's missing, a woman's missing body and they're trying to basically place the murderer and the documentary kind of touches on this community kind of deciding this guy killed someone based on not enough information. And he didn't do it. Well, the documentary talks about and it's like, you know, kind of crazy. But watching it, it's just crazy because I remember it being on the news.

30:44Trixie Mattel:That is crazy. It was on the news every day when I was a kid.

30:47Katya Zamolodchikova:It's like the Boston Strangler.

30:48Trixie Mattel:What's the Boston Strangler?

30:50Katya Zamolodchikova:Strangle, the guy in Boston going to strangle people. Yeah. Women? Probably. Yeah. That's awful. Yeah. Do you remember? Do you remember? What if you were like men? I'd be like, okay. Do you remember the, I forget what it was called, but it had Merit Weaver and Toni Collette and they were playing, they were cops and they were investigating a rapist and it was a, I think, I don't know, was it a series or a movie? I don't, I think it was a series, mini series. Unbelievable. Did you watch that? It was so good. Because it was like, it shifted tones effortlessly from like - What was it called? Unbelievable.

31:33Katya Zamolodchikova:Tony Collette -

31:33Trixie Mattel:So you want me to watch things on the big screen or a mini series?

31:36Katya Zamolodchikova:No, no, no. Now I'm just, I'm compromising. Okay. So I've given up on the big screen. Now I'm saying little screen. So Merritt Weaver, so hysterical. Tony Collette, obviously. And they have such a great dynamic in the tone of the, It gets very, very graphic because the way that this sexual assault guy assaults women is so specific and it's so thorough and it's so terrifying. But what's interesting is that the way that these characters, Merritt Weaver in particular, how they treat these victims is how you should treat a woman who has been assaulted. And it's like very instructive and like illuminating at how, I mean, you can imagine victims are not believed, you know what I mean?

32:26Katya Zamolodchikova:They're just, they're, they're just discarded or dismissed. So it was like a really, really interesting like character study for that. But then it was also like a, like a funny kind of buddy cop movie, but then it got really serious. It was like so good, so good. And it was like, it's rare to see something like shift tones like that. pretty wildly and not be like crazy. Sure. I highly recommend it. Highly recommend it. The, the rapist, or this is a little team. I don't know. He, it was diabolical cause he would make the, he would clean, like clean all his tracks. Like he, it was methodical about like not leaving a trace of anything and he would make them shower and he would make them like, it was so fucked up.

33:16Katya Zamolodchikova:so fucked up yeah so fucked up crazy you should watch it but I don't like those serial killer documentaries do you think something's wrong with me that I do no because I think they're hugely popular Gwyneth Paltrow loves them she watches them before bed yeah that my boyfriend

33:34Trixie Mattel:puts them on like when we're all supposed to like I don't think we need to take like a fat edible and then explore dead bodies you know like I'm always like can we put on Sabrina can we

33:43Katya Zamolodchikova:or you know she'd put on jellyfish or happiness frequency or like...

33:47Trixie Mattel:Old-timey music from another room while Trixie and Katia play ping pong. Like one of those crazy...

33:53Katya Zamolodchikova:Like volcanic eruption on the Samoan Islands while jellyfish mate in the Serenade.

33:57Trixie Mattel:We should have one of those on this channel. Why do we let the other kids have all the fun? Thank you. We can make our own soundscapes.

34:02Katya Zamolodchikova:I had the jellyfish on last night. The jellyfish? Excuse me. Yeah, the beautiful... I mean, there's so many. I have, you know, my nighttime viewing is usually if I'm still in the living room kind of late, I put on a thing to like wind down because I don't, I haven't been reading in bed very much. Um, so like I put on the jellyfish instant, like drops you down. It's so soothing. And that giant screen, it's so beautiful.

34:29Trixie Mattel:Right.

34:30Katya Zamolodchikova:And then I put the lights on to be like, you know, to match the colors. The vibes, the vibes are so. Do you sleep on the couch? No, no, no, no, no. This is like before I turn down. Cause once I go up to, once I go up to the bedroom, it's in the bed, it's in the bed. I don't, I do my thing in the bathroom and I'm right to bed.

34:45Trixie Mattel:I deal with historically being with men who need the TV on at night. That's really hard for me, but I just push through.

34:54Katya Zamolodchikova:That's very impressive. I push through. That's very impressive. Do you do, have you ever done ear plugs or, uh, cans to like drown out the soup cans? Yeah. Yeah. Campbell's soup.

35:04Trixie Mattel:No, I, I don't need the silence. Um, my dream scenario is that, that I fall asleep and the TV turns off and it's, all night because a lot of times unless you turn the tv down it wakes you the fuck up well you can do the timer right yeah right do you have do you do the um when we're on the topic of sleep hygiene

35:24Katya Zamolodchikova:do you do the um levitation the um the the lights gradually fading to the the time that you want to

35:33Trixie Mattel:make up i rigged up i rigged up um leds on underneath my bed so i can push a button and under bed glows, whatever color I want. That's kind of fun and funky. But I won't wake you up though. Never use it.

35:44Katya Zamolodchikova:I love the vibe though. Yeah. But that I have the dawn simulator on my hue lights to like over the course of a half an hour they pretends to be someone named dawn. Dawn Davenport. Dawn Davenport. Wake up!

36:03Trixie Mattel:Dawn Wiener. Yeah. Listen, I don't want to talk about the weather, but after this rain taking everything from me, This mold taking everything from me. By the way, me co-opting your storyline. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a, it's a shared trauma. Yeah. It's a shared trauma. Okay. We're, we're trauma bonding. Yeah. The sun being out. I look, I walk outside in LA. I look at the sky and I go the fucking nerve, the sun. Now after you've taken everything from me, it's like the police arriving. You take my dolls. You take my home.

36:31Katya Zamolodchikova:You take my, you take my livelihood. You take my joy, my pain. And now what? Well, I'll tell you what, that 80 degree day said that Saturday, Saturday when I hopped out of bed, threw on a little jean short and a little blouse slide and just fucking hoofed it over to flippers to have some lovely souffle pancakes with Joseph. And it was 80 motherfucking degrees and sunny. It's great. Oh, it was lovely. And I looked outside, there was pterodactyls on a building. It was weird. And then we went to Aesop's to get some fragrances and soaps and cleansers and shit. Oh, guess where I went?

37:07Trixie Mattel:Where'd you go? I love They have that for sale at Todd Snyder at the Grove. Love that shit.

37:12Katya Zamolodchikova:That shit is, I got the fucking slab.

37:14Trixie Mattel:It's so nice.

37:16Katya Zamolodchikova:The shower that I took, the showers that I have been taking. Right. I know I don't smell particularly good right now. Just take my word for it though. Right.

37:26Trixie Mattel:I, oh my God, I forgot what I was going to say. You were going to say. Oh, I told you I went to a drag race viewing party for the show RuPaul's Drag Race. I did.

37:35Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay. That's it. is this the one with, um, are you a lighter? No. Okay. That's Canada. That's Canada. Um, what is the best, uh, it's sound off in the comments. I want to know what you think the best international franchise of drag races these days. It's Pennsylvania versus Libya. Shut the hell.

37:56Trixie Mattel:Um, it's North versus South Korea.

37:57Katya Zamolodchikova:Right.

37:58Trixie Mattel:No, what is it? I, so my friend, uh, Daniel, do you know, Daniel, Vincent Gord? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He texts me, Hey, um, where are you at? And I was like, Oh my God, I'm at high tops having a drink. So my boyfriend and I were there having a drink. I love to go for happy hour because I love to get food. Because again, huge fat cunt. So I want to get some food.

38:19Katya Zamolodchikova:What's wrong? Sometimes I just feel like this negative self-talk is taking too far.

38:24Trixie Mattel:Oh, I know. My therapist said it's my primary abuser in my head. It's probably true. Got this little nugget in therapy too. What about this? I'm excited about the future. It's about what has occurred. but what could happen is about what has happened

38:41Katya Zamolodchikova:yep you got that you're one from yesterday the other in tomorrow you're

38:45Trixie Mattel:pissing on today you're worried about pissing yourself because you shit yourself already so tea I went to the viewing party and if you can piss yourself how am I gonna shit myself right can I get a name in I go to happy hour okay and we're having delicious um the nachos at high tops should be studied they're incredible okay oh god what about pretzels they got pretzel soft pretzel there yeah they do actually they have soft pretzel they got corn dogs girl the bar food at high tops is amazing oh high tops any bar food you think a bar should have they fucking have it it's so good vermont avenue east side they make this delicious tequila drink called a hot rod oh the hot rod it's blacked out

39:29Katya Zamolodchikova:i'm gonna say blacked out so they get with like tequila whiskey and ghb pretty much so i've had

39:35Trixie Mattel:two drinks and I've had two drinks and some nachos and Daniel text me and goes, hey, we're going to go to a viewing party of Drag Race if you're going to be at High Tops. And I was like, well, it's in like an hour and a half and I've just been sitting here drinking and eating for two hours. So I walk home, change outfits and come back. Love that. Same bar, new outfit. The people who work there know me from DJing and they're like, new outfit? No, no, no. Listen, one life. That's great. also maybe you had a little stain I didn't have a stain I was in gym clothes I had just walked up to the reservoir and back down so I was in gym clothes yeah well it's a drag race viewing party and I want people to be like damn this thing's over here in her fucking gym shark looking clapped you know what I mean bald faggot looking clapped in the gym shark honey that chopped

40:23Katya Zamolodchikova:clapped faggot the FAGs are hurting okay FAGs are tore down

40:30Trixie Mattel:so I mean I don't know if you feel this way it's almost going to any other viewing party for any other TV show is different than going to a drag race viewing party because we're you and me and I want to go see my friend and I like to catch drag race and I love high tops I was like let's just go so we go we're drinking it's so busy incredibly busy it's like a sports night right yeah the other show that's so busy is Survivor. When that's on at the gay bars, it's balls to balls to face to titties. Pack. I've never seen Survivor. And this is the difference. When Survivor comes back from commercial break, people are like, Oh baby, that gets me hard as a rock.

41:16Trixie Mattel:My peanut pecker is turgid. I love that. Drag race? They could not give a fuck what these F.A.G.s are saying at the gay bar. They're like, oh, fuck you. Girl, they're talking to themselves what they would wear. They don't care. I'm straining to hear these homosexuals. It was an episode where they're doing a girl group, but it was all like rock music. It was like punk girl group. Um, it's fun to watch. I love girl group episodes of drag race. I like to watch them. You know, you're going to go record your part with Raven, Simone, yeah, whatever, you know, like they have to go record on the main stage, the fake music studio, which I love.

41:48Trixie Mattel:Yeah.

41:49Katya Zamolodchikova:It's just a new music stand.

41:51Trixie Mattel:It's a music stand with like, with no, not plugged in. Yeah. With like Moby and Paula Cole on the keys, like truly. Paula Cole, I don't want to wait. So I'm trying to watch Drag Race and I'm almost like, I'm almost. Shushing people? No, no, no. A, I can feel the staring, right? Because of course we're. They're watching you watch it. They're watching me watch it. And so I'm, and I like Drag Race and I'm supportive of Drag Race. So I'm watching it, but I'm aware that I'm the only one watching it. Everyone's talking. so I'm like the only person like like the Pennywise Deadlights like I'm the only one watching it I think I think the people are just waiting for the number they're waiting for the performance on the main stage you know cause they got the same part says Miss Tati like that's what they're waiting for

42:36Katya Zamolodchikova:see that's why I skip that's when I go have a little smoke out back or something and then I don't even watch the lip sync I come back to see who goes home I want to watch the runway I want to watch the challenge

42:49Trixie Mattel:that's about it

42:50Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah

42:50Trixie Mattel:I was but I love to I just you know what I never like make time to watch Drag Race but when it's on and I have the privilege to watch it I love this shit

42:59Katya Zamolodchikova:it's a great group viewing it's a great

43:02Trixie Mattel:group viewing

43:02Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean I wish Mary I wish you could have been there that night the night that Lala rewore the unforgettable night where she wore the paper bag the gift bag I mean I've seen that no I know you've seen it but I was at Joseph and Hunter's house and there was probably 12 of us spagots and his straight brother.

43:22Trixie Mattel:Straight brother loved it.

43:23Katya Zamolodchikova:Straight brother was. Loved the bags. Well the straight brother was I think a little bit preoccupied with the death threats and invectives we were hurling at the television the whole episode. To Lala Reed? No, to everybody.

43:34Trixie Mattel:Right.

43:35Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean it was like the most unhinged, most unhinged unfettered unfiltered homophobia and I left there thinking that was too much. Right. It was that that was too much. That was evil. Crime. That was evil. That was like evil.

43:49Trixie Mattel:What we did was evil. I have nothing against a good fuck.

43:52Katya Zamolodchikova:There's evil here. I have nothing against Drag Race. There is evil here. But you know what though?

43:58Trixie Mattel:Fuck those bags. No, no, no, no, no. But wasn't just the bags. Oh, okay. I was going to say that's a funny outfit to at least dogpile on. Oh, it was fabulous. If you want to watch it. I think even La La Re is like girls' bags.

44:09Katya Zamolodchikova:Also, like that's what you want to watch as a group. Because if you watch it by yourself, you have nobody to scream too. You know what I mean?

44:15Trixie Mattel:You'd be in your living room like, oh, oh, oh.

44:18Katya Zamolodchikova:So it was, but yeah, I mean, oh gosh, but the way that we instantly became the most hate speech, hate speech filled, homophobic, fucking bottom of the barrel, like proud boy kind of people who's just like so nuts. Try and take them. Yeah, it was wild. My pronouns are kiss my ass. It was very much that. And the straight guy was like, oh, I think she looks nice.

44:42Trixie Mattel:My pronouns are gift bag.

44:45Katya Zamolodchikova:that is so cunt though.

44:47Trixie Mattel:Oh, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's other, everybody else's and you're just, yeah. She's like reading the New York times.

44:55Katya Zamolodchikova:She's doing the Sunday crossword. Why not? Yeah.

44:57Trixie Mattel:Um, so it was fun to go to a viewing party and hang out and have snacks.

45:01Katya Zamolodchikova:I wish they would have paid attention a little bit. Show a little respect for the girls. Yeah.

45:05Trixie Mattel:Well, it's okay. People have the right to watch it. However they want to watch it. But if it's, if it's, but my last viewing party was survivor, which was pin drop silence during the show. I love that. And we're talking like during the commercials, raucous screaming splits on trees. And then the second it starts, usually in gay bars, when you hear the ha ha ha, that was my RuPaul. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Uncanny. Rue? Rue? Usually when you hear that, people shut up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they were, I don't know, I guess they were there for the vibes. I think these gays were there to show off their own outfits.

45:37Katya Zamolodchikova:Like people just there to show them. You don't say. A gay guy showing up at a gay place and not paying attention to any other thing, but other gay guys to have sex with? How unconscionable. Get the shoes. Get the shoes. Great. You went to Aldo. I hate Aldo's shoes. Right. Okay. The Game of Thrones finale at the bar. I don't know if this was AI. I don't think it was AI back then. But it was like when, spoiler, when Arya kills the Night King on episode three, the crowd erupted like it was like, like they just won World War II. And that touched me so deeply. And I wanted to be there so bad. But I was in Singapore hobbled, crippled, circling a computer, limping.

46:24Trixie Mattel:When you were on Dragers, did you do your own, did you go to viewing parties with yourself in it?

46:29Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah, I hosted them in Boston. Okay, yeah. I hosted them in Boston until, right up until I was eliminated. I think they'll shut up if you're there. Oh, no, no, no. Oh yeah. But it was also Jacques. It wasn't so big. And it was like, yeah, we watched, I was like straining to hear this TV and high tops has 75 TVs. Oh yeah. So many, we had, we had a potato that like with a flashlight on a little piece of cheesecloth. And then like somebody had a boom box. Like that's, that was our setup at Jacques. So we, you had to like be quiet.

46:59Trixie Mattel:Yeah. I guess maybe that's a good way to get them to be quiet is to truly turn the sound down. Yeah. You know, I was almost ready to be one of those teachers who was like, well I'll wait

47:11Katya Zamolodchikova:you just get up stand in front of all the you tape up all the televisions

47:16Trixie Mattel:I was almost like getting too woke these artists put a lot into that you have no idea how much their luggage cost to ship over there they should have at least hired me to caption it you know what I mean yes sign it why don't we learn ASL do you know the alphabet uh no perhaps gabriel could help us gabriel gabriel speaks american

47:43Katya Zamolodchikova:sign language a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y and z well it seems like you got a good start i just know the alphabet because we used to do that thing in high school where like we wanted to, you know, the outcasts wanted to just talk shit about everybody else, so we called it like, you know.

48:09Trixie Mattel:But for non-hearing individuals, is it the equivalent of being like, H-E-L-L-O? Do you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were not communicating with deaf folks.

48:19Katya Zamolodchikova:We knew enough. We knew well enough not to try even to do that.

48:22Trixie Mattel:And plus, I worry, you know, the brain is really a sponge when you're young. I worry that for you and I to take it on a new language at this point. How dare you?

48:30Katya Zamolodchikova:we remain neuroplastic maybe not as much as we were when we were 5, 6, 7

48:35Trixie Mattel:but I've worked with you when you have to memorize things

48:37Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah but it's about desire those things I don't want to memorize but ASL I'm dying to learn it you know it would actually be really cool yeah it would just be really cool it seems like

48:51Trixie Mattel:it would take a lot of work

48:54Katya Zamolodchikova:well I mean it's a language

48:55Trixie Mattel:right have you ever had a Krispy Kreme

49:00Katya Zamolodchikova:Are you kidding me? Was it crispy? It was creamy. Right. The first time I had a crispy cream was in Las Vegas. And I could not believe it. I know that it takes a year off your life every time you have one. Take all the years off. Because what I'm used to is America runs on Dunkin', which is horseshit. They're fine. No, no, no, no, no, no. I like the sprinkle. And I like the apple fritter. But it depends on what time we're going to the store. Are we going at 5.30 a.m. or are we going at 5.30 p.m.?

49:27Trixie Mattel:Suzy Orman. If you're going to spend the money, you want to go at the beginning of the day.

49:30Katya Zamolodchikova:Yeah. 5.30 PM is when they give you a hockey puck with a, with a, with a heart. And they throw it at you. Yeah.

49:36Trixie Mattel:They throw it at you and you didn't order anything. Yeah. Yeah. Well, do you know what the king of this is? The ones at the airport. They didn't bake those. They didn't, they didn't make those donuts in the airport. They get brought to you from another location. Airport donuts are always flopped out. No, mama.

49:49Katya Zamolodchikova:I went to this, a store in Las Vegas and, or like, it was like, you know, not a store, but it was, they baked them there. and that thing, when that thing went in my mouth, I could not believe. Is that about Krispy Kreme? Yeah. Oh, when they're fresh. Just the glazed donut. It was fresh. They pull it out and give it to you. It's unreal. I was like, holy shit. I instantly had two more. Full body chills. Yeah. I was like, I was transformed.

50:14Trixie Mattel:Have you been to, what's that airport? I think it's, um, LaGuardia. Denver has voodoo donuts, I believe, in the airport.

50:22Katya Zamolodchikova:Okay.

50:23Trixie Mattel:Those are great. That's the ones with like cereal on them and shit.

50:25Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean, I like those. Those are really nice and fun, But what I love is the simplicity of Krispy Kreme because I just love a glaze. I love a glaze.

50:34Trixie Mattel:And I love the chocolate glaze. Of course. I love donuts. If there's ever a donut, if there's a donut I'm in, you will never see me walk by donuts that are available to me. I could be so full that food is coming out of my throat and I will find room for a donut. I'm like Celine with the shoes. What size do you have? I make them fit.

50:54Katya Zamolodchikova:I make it work. I've worn the shoes like this. you've already had three meals sir that doesn't matter what size do you have Boston cream or jelly neither we're not doing fillings okay great none of this he she we

51:10Trixie Mattel:we're not doing fillings no filler queens no fillers

51:13Katya Zamolodchikova:I mean I agree I don't yeah yeah

51:18Trixie Mattel:maybe chocolate frosting maybe someday we can go do a collab a collab why don't we just go and eat there

51:26Katya Zamolodchikova:a dough lab We don't have to, we could just go and eat there. Yeah, I don't know. We could just buy the donuts and eat them.

51:30Trixie Mattel:Don't you think if we do some kind of donut collab? Randy's Donuts by the airport?

51:33Katya Zamolodchikova:The Trixie and Cate donut collab? Or we just go to Krispy Kreme and have a bunch of donuts and pay for them, eat them, and go home.

51:40Trixie Mattel:Yeah, we could do that too.

51:42Katya Zamolodchikova:There was a Krispy Kreme in Atlanta when I went to visit David and baby, I just, I, he went to the bathroom. I ordered six more donuts and ate them while he was in the bathroom. I'm not joking. Not joking. Your metabolism is incredible. I love America runs on Dunkin I run on sugar Yeah You know And look at me Nothing's wrong I love breakfast Breakfast is You will never Lunch wishes Lunch is so jealous Lunch is so jealous And torn up And just twisted about breakfast Who cares Yeah And dinner She's so far away

52:14Trixie Mattel:They don't even fuck with each other Do you know what lunch is It's like New Year's New Year's really thinks it's a holiday That's the most disappointing Who cares shit No Lunch is Labor Day mama Yeah Lunch is Flag Day I wake up hungry fantasizing about eggs and toast. I eat an egg almost every single day.

52:30Katya Zamolodchikova:I wake up thinking about scrambled eggs, a little dry with lots of hot sauce, salt and pepper, sourdough toast with butter and grape jelly. Sourdough toast, you faggot. Crispy bacon. Yeah, crispy. Fucking fluffy pancakes. Just one little triangle of French toast. Maybe a brioche French toast with some maple butter. Bitch. And then a fucking sausage and then an orange juice gets a good old acid reflux. Oh yeah. To get that bubble in all day. Oh yeah. To throw up later that night.

52:58Trixie Mattel:What about grapefruit juice?

53:00Katya Zamolodchikova:No, no, because I'm doing a pot of coffee as well. Right. And then I'm good. Do you make your own coffee every day? I do.

53:07Trixie Mattel:You do. Do you have one of those machines?

53:09Katya Zamolodchikova:No, I go out. I go to Columbia press or whatever. No, no, I do. I get ground coffee. I I'm very basic. I do Mr. Coffee. What do you think of instant coffee? instant coffee is disgusting I had a roommate who drank instant coffee it's absolutely disgusting it's undrinkable is it just it's just powder and water it's just it's it's not even powder it's like it's like it's coarse it sucks it's disgusting

53:35Trixie Mattel:that just like gave me a chill

53:36Katya Zamolodchikova:yeah it's gross you're welcome bye wait wait wait do you love coffee let us know hot cough good mood Okay, bye.

54:14Trixie Mattel:The sun's shining, birds are singing, and all feels right in the world.

54:19Katya Zamolodchikova:Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression no matter the season or time of year.

54:29Trixie Mattel:At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all. Because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round.

54:40Katya Zamolodchikova:Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.